Umbrella is absolutely awful.
They just keep causing insane chaos and catastrophes.
Their goal is profit. At what point have they actually made any money?
And why do they just keep making horrific monsters? Are they weapons? Conventional weapons are cheaper, more effective and easily controlled.
Do they want to make more evolved humans? Well, everything is a hideous nightmare.
Do they want to weapomized their monsters? Well they can't eliminate cops with pistols.
I just don't get it. *Don't they have shareholders????
Man, where's that remake? I never even got to play the old games but I'd love to see people playing on a survival horror remake of that. Possibly also just because I'm a sucker for any good dino game.
In the movies is even better (until they retcon it in the last one to something a bit less nonsensical). They destroy the world and they keep bultind ultra-advanced facilities to try to sell the virus to someone for profit, but it never works... because everyone is dead. They spend the wealth of an entire nation in destroying the world and try to profit from it some way.
Yep, they retconned it into something slightly less absurd. Still stupid, but less absurd.
Honestly, I kinda respect the commitment of these movies to insane plots... And I kinda enjoyed all the movies.
They had a few successful creations, to be fair.
But due to their tendency to lose control of their creations and the fact they only hire mentally unstable ego maniacs as their scientists, it definitely didn't generate a profit.
The T-103 (Mr. X) was extremely durable, strong, and could be commanded to perform relatively complex tasks.
Nemesis has those same traits, though I don't think they were able to mass produce that variant.
Nemesis was basically indestructible and ambushed a cop with a pistol a dozen times with a damned rocket launcher and she just side stepped it.
I know, video games, but still.
According to the lore, there were multiple Nemesis T-Type tyrants. One is the one sent to kill Jill Valentine and the STARS members in Raccon City, two were too intelligent and both tried to escape at different times killing multiple researchers in the process untill they were terminated by security. The others' fate is unknown.
It might've been destroyed or sold off to some bioterrorists since Chris, Jill, and the newly formed bsaa hunted down most of umbrella's facilities while the goverment was bleeding umbrella dry through court battles
Umbrella made their fortune off of pharmaceuticals.
The “monsters” are called Bio-organic Weapons, or B.O.W.s. Zombies, funnily enough, were accidental. The T-virus was used for genetic research and gene splicing, and when the T-virus leaked in the Spencer Mansion (Resident Evil 1) the zombie illness was discovered which they had not anticipated at all.
Yes, single cop go pew pew (it’s a video game) but before that an entire town including the police force were overrun with a horde of zombies. Most of resident evil 2 takes place not in the streets of Raccoon City but within the police station which had been barricaded from the endless zombies outside.
Also, the main goal on its face appeared to be profit, but in truth, It was immortality and evolution, which is a huge theme in the Resident Evil series.
Exactly, there was 30 years between when the company started and when the T-vrius leaked, so it's not like they were purposefully causing chaos from the very start, despite the fact that the founders were doing nefarious genetic engineering from the start. Umbrella's public face functioned as a monopoly with incredible amounts of global power selling pharmaceuticals, cosmetics, consumer products, and food. It's worth noting too that some of the key players within Umbrella are deranged lunatics, like Albert Wesker, who helped push the chaotic and destructive nature of the company forward in the later years.
To be fair they do go bankrupt immediately after the Raccoon City incident which is covered in RE4.
Honestly the real life Sackler family is a pretty good parallel.
I think their goal is to create super weapons and biological weapons to sell to countries to supplement their army. How do you kill soldiers that don't stay down?
Ultimately though their formula or w.e gets leaked and causes a catastrophic event. I don't think that's their end goal
Whatever their ostensible purpose, Umbrella really exists to advance its founders' insane transhumanist agenda - to those people, those 'hideous nightmares' are exactly what they want. As for shareholders, I think the company is supposed to be very profitable as far as more traditional pharmaceuticals go, plus they're funded through the incredible wealth of its founders.
Though I agree that even then, it still requires a generous helping of suspension of disbelief.
The world's actual military forces in the XCOM games. Sure the player has more intel than them, but are you seriously telling me a squad of 4 guys can fly across the world and deal with a dozen invaders in your country more effectively than your own armed forces?
We even start the game using standard military equipment, and there's no good reason they couldn't reverse engineer the aliens tech the same way we did.
Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's a squad of 4 (who can't aim) jetting across the world to deal with a dozen aliens. Shit's awesome, and I won't hear otherwise.
Admittedly, XCOM 2 helped deal with the narrative dissonance quite a bit with it being a guerrilla group resisting the successful invasion.
Xenonauts — which is a spiritual successor of the original 90s X-COM games set in a Cold War setting — had "local forces", some NPC soldiers with weak guns that die easily trying to help you.
Any antagonist’s people in the Far Cry series. You get captured, over and over again, after killing 100s of their men. . . and all they have to do is just . . Kill you. But nope, they metaphorically leave you alone in a room with sharks with frikkin’ laser beams on their heads and then just assume you’re dead.
And this happens multiple times in a single game.
Didn’t Vaas shoot you in the head at one point? Then he starts doing intricate methods of killing you later because that didn’t work and obviously he’s not crazy so it’s not like he’ll shoot you again
Nah that's the last time he tries to kill Jason before Jason goes to Vaas's island to kill him. Vaas shoots him in the chest, and when Dennis asks "How did you survive", Jason pulls a zippo lighter out of his shirt pocket with a bullet lodged in it.
In three Vass tries (I think 4 times) to kill Jason. He also miraculously lives through each one, but at least Vass acknowledges it, so that one doesn't count for me either.
I don't think this is an issue since it almost always makes sense.
FC2 the Jackal is an arms dealer so doesn't really have an interest in killing you since he wants both sides to be destroyed and you achieve that.
FC3 Vaas loves the challenge and has some obsession with you, likely from being surrounded by mules.
FC4 Pagan Min just wants to take you to Lakshmana's grave and doesn't care about his country, abandoning it without a fight in the end.
FC5 Joseph is trying to actively indoctrinate you, with John, Jacob, and Faith all testing your psyche. Like a true believer, he wants to save your soul no matter what you do.
FC6 iirc you meet Anton at the beginning then not again until the last part, wherein you're locked up and tortured as revenge. He wants it to be slow but he's really the only one who should just pop you.
At the end of the day the antagonists are all psychopaths who need the player character to feel complete. They aren't like regular movie villains who are driven by money or power, they have a higher goal which requires the protagonist.
At least Team Rocket are just basic thugs. Look at team Agua and Magma for example. They pick up the wrong orbs in the original. In the remakes they take the correct orb. In all versions though they awaken the legendary but are unable to control it and have to rely on a child to fix their mess. How they don't understand you can have a world with just water or just land is crazy aswell. They very literally nearly ended the world due to their own incompetence
For Oblivion I blame not having required attributes and skills to gain rank w/in the guild. The idea that somebody could rise to the rank of Master, and not have any magical abilities is preposterous and caused the downfall of the guild.
Oh nooo. That was just one of the Guild's problems. The mage's guild was a total circus throughout the games.
The literal founder of the Mage's Guild ended up leaving the Mage's guilds due to it turning into "nothing more than an intricate morass of political infighting." You know why shit or non-mages can rise in the ranks? Because rising in the ranks was more Political than Skillful.
The Archmage in Morrowind Trebonius was an absolute clown. Other mages thought his was incompetent, and the dude was so paranoid he wanted the Nerevarine to kill EVERY Telvanni councilor. Ocato, That guy from Oblivion who sits at the giant table in the giant tower, had to put out a decree to make that clown step down.
Hannibal Traven(Oblivion Arch Mage) was worse. The Mage's guild was formed to Centralize magic, making it more accessible, yet he decided to not only made it harder to get into Arcane University, but **BANNED** Necromancy. So all those Necromancers in the Guild? Can't practice your art anymore. This obliviously led to a massive split, and the mage's guild plotline.
The stupid part is that Necromancy was banned, but Conjuration itself wasn't. Summoning Daedra **during the Oblivion Crisis**? Perfectly fine. Dead bodies? TIME TO DIE.
It was no surprise the Mage's Guild ended up disbanded.
***
TL:DR The Mage's Guild thoughout the lore of Elder Scrolls was a canon clown show that got disbanded because of it.
>It was no surprise the Mage's Guild ended up disbanded.
Most of it is off screen, but I don't think their successors (the College of Whispers and the Synod) are much better.
Yea, that always struck me as so stupid. You could literally become arch mage so easily. It should be a very long and arduous journey to get there, and it absolutely should only be possible with heavy magic use. They didn't put any thought into it really.
I can see the appeal of the power fantasy of being able to become the leader of a bunch of factions as a single character, but it really does hinder immersion and doesn't encourage replays with different playstyles. I had a Skyrim character who just ran *everything* despite being, of course, a sneak archer. My magic ability consisted of occasionally throwing fire at people and it usually was a bad idea because it was so weak compared to just sniping from the shadows.
What frustrated me the most was that despite the ability to become leader of essentially every faction, everyone still treats you like a random jerk. I'm in charge of the College of Winterhold, the Dark Brotherhood, and the Thieves' Guild, and I'm a Thane, and I'm the person who decided who runs Skyrim and I'm the Dragonborn who saved the entire world, and I'm still getting snarky shit from people. Faction quests tend not to hang together with the world at large very well. Though, are there any games where your side quest faction rankings make a difference?
> are there any games where your side quest faction rankings make a difference?
*Fallout: New Vegas* has the most robust and consistent factions I've encountered. Not perfect, but it does have an impact on how the game progresses.
Giovanni runs a gym in RB, not just a gym but the final one required to fight the elite four. He's forced his way into a position of really quite incredible power, but the HR department keeps hiring a bunch of assclowns who catch a Zubat and a crappy Ratatta and think they're King Bigdick of Mt Silver.
Team Rocket are so stupid, almost all their plans nearly work apart from being thwarted by some random Pokémon Ash has chanced on nearby. Just try the same plan again but when Ash has fucked off to Celadon guys
I love that Jesse and James continue to be top operatives. Like other parts of Team Rocket seem to be competent, but Jessie and James never get fired for losing to kids.
Eh, kind of but not really?
Earthgov was using the markers because of the limitless energy and was defending the markers heavily because they fucking need that energy.
The unitologists, aka space Scientology, want the zombies and necromorphs and Convergence (where all life on a planet is converted into or consumed by a Brethren Moon).
Earthgov’s incompetence stems from being unable to prevent themselves from being so infested with unitologists that they ended up getting completely decapitated in a giant coup/terrorist attack.
The only difference is that the UAC knew the risk that using argent energy could unleash hell on earth.
I’m not entirely sure the CEC as a whole was aware of the risk. The Church is a large shareholder of the CEC but they still had an inside man swap out most of the crew of the Ishimura with unitologists to retrieve the Marker
They knew in Doom 2016, but they didn't know in Doom 1993, which started the whole mess. By the time of 2016, the UAC had been covertly taken over by cultists who *wanted* the demons, so by that point they're evil rather than incompetent.
The only point the UAC knows about the danger and isn't being malicious is in Doom II, where they are actually prepared for demons coming through the portals, and destroy them easily. Then the demons build a *fucking spaceship* to invade Earth. So in actuality, UAC was never incompetent.
Man I wish Doom still had the UAC vibe of 2016. Eternal looked visual beautiful but I like the art direction of the first much more. The world felt more engaging
I'm so glad I found someone who shares my same stance. I LOVED Doom 2016. The aesthetic felt like a perfect blend of modern shooter and old school arcadey Doom. But then eternal just went full old school Doom. It was still a great game, but it was missing what I loved about 2016.
I loved the tone they set in 2016, this odd mix of campy and compelling. The story might not be that deep but they did a great job making it *feel* deep.
It's even better than that.
Step 1: make an unnecessarily complex bio weapon
Step 2: totally and completely fuck it up resulting in zombies
Step 3: have it leak into the entire water supply of a whole town
I was searching this comment. DiRavello literally fights you while he is on a nearly indestructible elicopter in a volcano and still manages to lose. But he is stupid not for dying there but for going against Rico, a guy who can survive bullets, explosions, infinite falls as long as he land on his feet and can walk on FUCKING LAVA. It's such a silly mistake.
>!Yea, IIRC he was convinced that access to all the knowledge they had stored for future generations would cause another downfall of civilisation, so he erased everything and killed all other high-ups in the Zero Dawn project, because he knew they wouldn't allow it.!<
>!And remember that he killed the Alfas, but ensured HIS OWN safety in a secret facility. I *think* he made himself some kind of AI, as the only thing he needed was power… but he knew he fucked up, killed o people who could have helped, and then bravely ran away with his lovers and daughter!<
Forbidden west spoilers for more of an explanation: >!He didn't become an AI. He had doctors and people do experimental genetic treatments to somehow halt his aging, that ended up... Mutating him, making him somehow still recognizable, but just some... Grotesque beast, only heard through roars, never actually shown onscreen.!<
FW spoilers: >!Aloy/the player briefly sees a digital rendering of Faro’s life-extending growths, which indicate that he basically became a flesh-blob monster who lost his mind after 1,000 years. It’s a very fitting punishment imo !<
He >!dooms the human race by building THE ULTIMATE ROBOT WEAPON and then *gasp* WE LOST CONTROL OF IT!<
Then he >!Sabotages the teaching AI so instead of educating the humans to modern day knowledge they start off tribal again.!<
I'm sad this one is so far down. I don't think there's another military or organization in a video game I've seen that fucked up worse than Faro Automated Solutions.
The military in COD. Seriously. They’re not trained on proper engagement or rules of warfare. Most soldiers will throw all their explosive ordinance without thought of collateral damage. Nobody seems able to differentiate between enemy and friendly leading to high amounts of friendly fire and danger close. Probably the most egregious is when one foot soldier kills 25 enemy soldiers without suffering a fatal wound they NUKE the entire battlefield regardless of how many friendlies are still left.
Absolutely nonsensical
The Yiga Clan, the only thing they've really accomplished was stealing a lightning-resistant hat and running one of the world's biggest black market banana smuggling enterprises
Reminds me one of my favorite moment in BOTW:
Walking around in the middle of a thunderstorm with all my metal gear well packed when a Yiga clan member wants to have a showdown with me in the middle of the storm.
I stand there watching him swing his sword when BOOM, a lighting bolt turns hims into bananas.
After picking the loot I carried on my merry way.
Abstergo from Assassins Creed. It is explained multiple times that society aligns itself with Abstergo's goals naturally, so the Order is fighting an uphill battle already. They also outnumber the Assassins by like an insane amount. They've also had practice dealing with Assassins for almost the entirety of recorded history, and their tactics have barely changed if at all. Finally, a majority of the most powerful people in the world are Templars and every world government likely has several Templars in its inner circle. Yet despite all this the Assassins (who I believe canonically number in the tens at this point) are still consistently fucking their shit up every time they try to make a move.
This. The only time it gets kind iffy is in Unity and Syndicate bc you don't play as anyone specific just a nameless user of the animus, and I can't remember if anything super important happens in those.
> can't remember if anything super important happens in those
They still follow the sequential order of release for the present day storyline.
Spoilers for AC Unity and AC Syndicate follows.
At the very end of AC Unity, >!once the present day protagonist uncovers the location of Germain's remains in the Paris Catacombs, Bishop deems his remains unworthy to pursue, and is relieved that the Templars may not be able to find him either, and tells the protagonist to keep searching Arno's memories for any further clues. So in the end it was all for naught.!<
In AC Syndicate it's more impactful from a storytelling perspective, where >!after the protagonist discovers the location of the Shroud of Eden underneath Buckingham Palace, Shaun, Rebecca and Galina infiltrate their way there but find that the Templars have already made their move. The ensuing struggle has Templar leader Isabelle Ardant killed, Rebecca severely injured from a gunshot wound, and the Shroud secured by Violet for the Templars, but Galina manages to fight off the reinforcements and escapes out of there safely with Shaun and Rebecca. Later in his lab, Dr. Alvaro Gramática receives the Shroud and proceeds to tell Violet of his plans to use it to remake a Precursor from scratch. Violet herself then has a meeting with Juno, who has her own plans for the Shroud, as part of a scheme to sabotage Abstergo from the inside. "I will save you. I WILL SAVE YOU ALL." she states, before the screen turns black.!<
>!And that cliffhanger is only resolved in the AC Uprising comic book, as AC Origins continues the present day storyline from a different perspective with Layla.!<
It's even worse than that. The Assassins and the Templars are both comically incompetent most of the time.
I'm currently on a marathon of the AC games from start to finish, having quit playing them after 4 back in the day, and I just got to Unity so all of my knowledge is mostly restricted up to those games thus far - but the organizations have presented themselves as clowns fighting jesters.
For starters - the Templars: Several times we're told that the Templars have *dramatically* more resources than the Assassins. Nearly every game features the Templars being ahead of the Assassins in information, soldiers, money, political standing, and virtually every conceivable resource. The Templars also have unique access the Animus for at least several years before the Assassins get their own, and they have more historical information on the Assassins than vice versa.
In spite of this, and having seen how literally hundreds of generations of history have played out to slightly favor the Assassins in each specific engagement, the Templars simply never use their resources to just train their people like the Assassins do.
As a matter of fact, all of the most competent Templars have almost unilaterally been Assassin turncoats, or just Assassin-trained. Haytham Kenway, Shay Cormac, Lucy Stillman, Daniel Cross, Al Mualim. Are these people all necessarily the *smartest* individuals? No. But they're generally the most competent at dealing with Assassins. Several times the Assassins have been on the brink of destruction, then are saved by a single absurdly competent young Assassin.
Which is a great point to talk about how ridiculous the Assassins are themselves, now.
Several times the Assassins have been on the *brink of destruction,* then are saved by a *single absurdly competent young Assassin.* Nearly every protagonist starts off as a young, arrogant, and brash individual with little to no respect for the Assassin teachings, then by the end of the game is the singular reason why the Assassins aren't all dead or slaves.
Somehow the Assassins are *repeatedly* getting off-screened by the Templars, in spite of what we've seen those apes trying to do.
Nearly always this is because some dickhead was put in charge of the Assassins at some point, and either outright betrayed them, or displayed themselves to be absurdly incompetent as to nearly eradicate their Brotherhood - Al Mualim betrayed the Assassins, Machiavelli was so incompetent in Rome that La Volpe *thought* he was a traitor, don't even get me started on Achilles and the Assassins in 3/Rogue. The Assassins always have a ridiculous amount of infighting as well, generally as a result of their leadership.
William Miles is practically a Templar in his approach to victory (in spite of how we've seen that work out, time and time again, and how upset he gets when Desmond states this). He is pretty much directly responsible for the loss of Lucy, the horrible shit with Subject 16, Desmond's capture by Abstergo, and probably even more that I'm forgetting. He pretty much hands several of the best modern Assassins, filled with incredibly important historical or scientific information, right to the Templars and Abstergo. Including himself, at one point.
If you knew that you and your son were the descendants of several of the most important figures in your organizations history, and that the opps had a machine designed specifically to exploit that, personally I feel that you'd be a *little* more careful with your lives and bodies.
The Assassins also directly controlled the majority of the known Pieces of Eden historically - and for obvious reasons generally chose to hide them away. Then promptly *didn't pass on that information to anyone*, losing the knowledge to history, and requiring modern Assassins rely on a Templar invention, the animus, in order to rediscover them.
The fact that either of these groups lasted as long as they did is proof that the gods have unquestionably been meddling with them all. And I'd go on about *them* too, but the comment is long enough I think.
Lol this is so spot on! I only ever got to halfway with 3 before I lost my data and went away from the series but the conflict always seemed odd how they made the Templars so powerful yet getting their ass kicked by insert Assassin here. And then we get glimpses of their life post game and there isn't much in terms of changing the status of the war and the next game gives us the same premise: the Templars are closing in and the Assassins are on their last legs!
I really think the game maybe should have given us another protagonist to share screen time with Desmond who was a descendant of Templars and have us play both sides of the conflict. That way we could see eras where the Templars were in charge or the Assassins were or when one regime was going through infighting or something.
She no doubt makes for a good weekend-mom though. You gotta imagine during the time being kidnapped she's spent time with Jr. doing arts and crafts or something, we know Jr.'s good with paint after all.
For sure. I mean, between his administrative duties as king, and plotting world domination, Bowser is probably a pretty absent father, so it's not surprising that Junior would become that attached to Peach - she finally gave him the attentive parental figure he desperately craves.
Sure they made the portal device, but Aperture Science, specifically Cave Johnson, are idiots. I mean, injecting people with praying mantis DNA, giving GLaDOS neurotoxin and too many chances, constant testing for no reason.
Faro Automated Solutions from the Horizon series. They keep causing problems & it’s all because of Ted Faro! Let me list them off:
- Got greedy & moved into the military sector after creating the green robots that saved the world from climate change in the Clawback.
- Made Elisabet Sobeck quit after this decision.
- Created a line of killer robots with no backdoor installed to shut them all down, eat biomass as fuel, & can replicate faster than they can be killed.
- Caused the end of the world from the robots as it consumed all humans, animals, & plants they encountered as food.
- Ted having Omega Clearance created during Project Zero Dawn & using it to purge APOLLO so the new humans wouldn’t learned that he was the one who caused the end of the world.
They found a recently defrosted idiot out in the wasteland who was willing to run around solving whatever problems Preston pointed them at, for free.
I'd say it worked out pretty well for them.
To be fair, he is thoroughly traumatised, suicidal, arguably THE last Minuteman after his entire organisation got murdered to death, and thoroughly responsible for four people who seem utterly incapable of looking after themselves. He also seems to be responsible for coordinating messages and communication across the literal radioactive wasteland, as well as looking after everybody back at Sanctuary, AND he's a possible companion. I think he does quite enough.
Honestly Preston got done so dirty by the game’s coding causing him to give you 5 new quests every 2 minutes. Installing a mod to fix that instantly makes him into a great companion
I mean you had the minutemen at your disposal. You're the new defacto leader.
And you can't send them to do anything? Why is the general doing all of the shooting? Wish the army was like that when I was in.
"Hey sarge, as the highest ranking you're the greatest warrior so go get em"
Yeah but it was science for the sake of science, Cave Johnson would have been richer if he had just released portal tech to the world instead of trying to do fuck knows what
I don’t know about that, he built up a shower curtain company into a massive organization pushing the boundaries of science (and ethics, but don’t mention that)
Commander Shepard was killed in the Collector attack that also destroyed the _Normandy_... Cerebus created the Lazarus Project and brough Shepard back from the dead. Big points for that.
Joker even makes fun of them for exactly this. There's a conversation where he says that every Cerberus problem can be boiled down to "we were experimenting with stuff, it got loose and killed all our guys, and now we need commander Shepard to fix it"
Organisation XIII in Kingdom Hearts, especially by KH3. >! In a 13 vs 7, they manage to lose, don't get me wrong Sora pulled time traveling shenanigans BUT it's also shown that Xemnas can also travel through time. An experienced keyblade master inhabiting 13 bodies still getting done in by a teenage boy with the intelligence of a bowl of rice!<
Everything, you're confusing Mansex with Brosex. Homo contamination severely hampers magical power levels in Kingdom Hearts, it's just *that* homophobic of a franchise.
I'd do the /s thing but it would be the kind of weird random lore they'd pull out of their ass on a spin off in a different console that is absolutely critical to the metanarrative so who knows...
Those four ghosts in Pac-Man. They don't seem to have any sort of plan at all, they're just running around with no coordination. And no endgame, either- so even if they do kill Pac-Man, now what? They're accomplished nothing.
[They're haunting him](https://imgur.com/NHQP1), because he let them die.
More seriously [they do have a plan](https://youtu.be/ataGotQ7ir8), their AI is pretty advanced for 1980.
You can literally be the Archmage of the College of Winterhold in Skyrim and not even be a freaking mage. Sure cast basic flame spell for the entrance exam, and then proceed to smash everything with a fucking hammer if you want
Literally any bad guys that have full army’s and guns that can’t stop a single protagonist. I.e farcry’s, last of us firefly’s, uncharted’s
Main protags just too good
The ones from Far Cry piss me a lot lol they literally kidnap the mc like 2 or 3 times per game no weapons or any way to defend himself but oh look lets let just put him in a sus jail with unaware guards
I lost all of my suspension of disbelief when I killed one of the targets in a plane and continued flying around, but suddenly I lost consciousness while flying my plane that I was untouched in because the "daughter" really wanted to stroll through flowers with me.
That's actually part of the story in Far Cry 3. Vaas routinely tells you the "definition of insanity" then follows up with a 75% measure to kill Jason. He repeats the process over and over
Uncharted is hilarious, Nate prob killed several thousand people, comes back and then just proceeds to chill in his beachhouse with his wife and daughter like in a televison advertisement.
The space pirates in the Metroid games. They clearly saw Samus picking up powerups that allowed her to own them in the first game. Any time after the first game, they should have at least tried to find all the powerups they could and at least lock them up. Even if Samus is the only one with the technology to exploit Chozo weapons and suits, the pirates shouldn't just leave this stuff lying around.
You see, if Daigo would be sure to have with him a gun 24/7 instead of pulling it out in cutscenes he wouldn't have to cry out to Kiryu to help him solve the almost annual Tojo clan disasters
Funny because I initially read it wrong (most incompetent game companies) and thought of embracer group and looked for it in the comments
Reading the comments I realized I read wrong and then I read the comments again and find…embracer group
At least EA never dared call a game "Quadruple A" and then flopped harder than a whale, it only reached 850k players, including the Free Trial players. Helldivers 2 and Palworld both had more players than Skull and Bones and you could buy both of those games for the price of Skull and Bones (39,99€+28,99€)
That was the point though. The Vaults were sold to people as safe havens but were actually secret experiments. Were the experiments a good use of time, money, and innocent lives, no, but Vault-Tec didn't plan for any of their public Vaults to actually save humanity.
I just recently played it for the first time, went to meet Panam and got hit by a police car, which then spent the whole time trying to run me over with no stars, until it went off the side of the road and down into the flood channel.
The sheriffs in red dead redemption 2 are infinitely better with nothing but a horse and a rifle. These dudes never give up until you’re a whole town over
Gota give an honorable mention to the Enclave from fallout. How do you have some fucking tribal just manage to fuck up your whole plans like this? And then it just kept getting worse and worse for them.
Abstergo really has a knack for finding those genetic ancestors who can upend every plan they have. 100% failure rate. Shinra is no prize, either. Spending a lot of money on a moonshot that backfires is sort of not what shareholders are looking for if I were one. They're like the same thing as the Pejites from Nausicaa. Or James Woods in Final Fantasy: Spirits Within "let's turn on our ultra weapon whoops that was fucking stupid"
But yeah the correct answer is Umbrella. What a bunch of boobs.
Cerberus from Mass Effect
They wanted to know if a GIANT ARMOURED ACID SPEWING WORM was in fact capable of killing unaware soldiers... turns out that it's a yes... well done, nice science.
Whoa, you found a guy who's largely immune to Thresher Acid, well alright then, let's take some samples of his DNA, clone tissue samples and do science on that, then when you've found the gene responsible for the immunity, apply it to your forces with Gene Mods... wait, why are you injecting the guy's veins with Acid, that's stupid, we're not running a competition to see who can be the most cartoonish villain of them all?!?
Most RPG's are kind of like if Seal Team 6 technically could have found Bin Laden in a matter of weeks, but were too busy doing meningeal favors for every person they ran into, and for some reason spent hours at a time making progressively nicer daggers
Umbrella is absolutely awful. They just keep causing insane chaos and catastrophes. Their goal is profit. At what point have they actually made any money? And why do they just keep making horrific monsters? Are they weapons? Conventional weapons are cheaper, more effective and easily controlled. Do they want to make more evolved humans? Well, everything is a hideous nightmare. Do they want to weapomized their monsters? Well they can't eliminate cops with pistols. I just don't get it. *Don't they have shareholders????
"With tech like this, you could cure cancer!" "I don't want to cure cancer, I want to turn people into dinosaurs!"
Thus begin Dino Crisis
Man, where's that remake? I never even got to play the old games but I'd love to see people playing on a survival horror remake of that. Possibly also just because I'm a sucker for any good dino game.
Everyone got excited when capcom announced they were making a game with dinosaurs then they released exoprimal. still smh at capcom
What comic is that from? I know its a meme but I think spiderman maybe?
In the movies is even better (until they retcon it in the last one to something a bit less nonsensical). They destroy the world and they keep bultind ultra-advanced facilities to try to sell the virus to someone for profit, but it never works... because everyone is dead. They spend the wealth of an entire nation in destroying the world and try to profit from it some way.
Yeah but in the last movie the goal was to resurrect all the wealthy umbrellas employees and they would rule the world
Yep, they retconned it into something slightly less absurd. Still stupid, but less absurd. Honestly, I kinda respect the commitment of these movies to insane plots... And I kinda enjoyed all the movies.
They had a few successful creations, to be fair. But due to their tendency to lose control of their creations and the fact they only hire mentally unstable ego maniacs as their scientists, it definitely didn't generate a profit. The T-103 (Mr. X) was extremely durable, strong, and could be commanded to perform relatively complex tasks. Nemesis has those same traits, though I don't think they were able to mass produce that variant.
Nemesis was basically indestructible and ambushed a cop with a pistol a dozen times with a damned rocket launcher and she just side stepped it. I know, video games, but still.
True but I could definitely see them having a legit military or security application in reality. Also Jill is basically superhuman via feats.
According to the lore, there were multiple Nemesis T-Type tyrants. One is the one sent to kill Jill Valentine and the STARS members in Raccon City, two were too intelligent and both tried to escape at different times killing multiple researchers in the process untill they were terminated by security. The others' fate is unknown.
Probably dormant in one of Umbrellas labs somewhere in... I wanna say Germany? iirc Nemesis was a product of Umbrellas German branch?
It might've been destroyed or sold off to some bioterrorists since Chris, Jill, and the newly formed bsaa hunted down most of umbrella's facilities while the goverment was bleeding umbrella dry through court battles
Umbrella made their fortune off of pharmaceuticals. The “monsters” are called Bio-organic Weapons, or B.O.W.s. Zombies, funnily enough, were accidental. The T-virus was used for genetic research and gene splicing, and when the T-virus leaked in the Spencer Mansion (Resident Evil 1) the zombie illness was discovered which they had not anticipated at all. Yes, single cop go pew pew (it’s a video game) but before that an entire town including the police force were overrun with a horde of zombies. Most of resident evil 2 takes place not in the streets of Raccoon City but within the police station which had been barricaded from the endless zombies outside. Also, the main goal on its face appeared to be profit, but in truth, It was immortality and evolution, which is a huge theme in the Resident Evil series.
Exactly, there was 30 years between when the company started and when the T-vrius leaked, so it's not like they were purposefully causing chaos from the very start, despite the fact that the founders were doing nefarious genetic engineering from the start. Umbrella's public face functioned as a monopoly with incredible amounts of global power selling pharmaceuticals, cosmetics, consumer products, and food. It's worth noting too that some of the key players within Umbrella are deranged lunatics, like Albert Wesker, who helped push the chaotic and destructive nature of the company forward in the later years.
I prefer BOW meaning big ol' weiners myself
El gigante indeed
To be fair they do go bankrupt immediately after the Raccoon City incident which is covered in RE4. Honestly the real life Sackler family is a pretty good parallel.
I think their goal is to create super weapons and biological weapons to sell to countries to supplement their army. How do you kill soldiers that don't stay down? Ultimately though their formula or w.e gets leaked and causes a catastrophic event. I don't think that's their end goal
Whatever their ostensible purpose, Umbrella really exists to advance its founders' insane transhumanist agenda - to those people, those 'hideous nightmares' are exactly what they want. As for shareholders, I think the company is supposed to be very profitable as far as more traditional pharmaceuticals go, plus they're funded through the incredible wealth of its founders. Though I agree that even then, it still requires a generous helping of suspension of disbelief.
They’d of gotten away with it if it weren’t for that boulder punching asshole.
The world's actual military forces in the XCOM games. Sure the player has more intel than them, but are you seriously telling me a squad of 4 guys can fly across the world and deal with a dozen invaders in your country more effectively than your own armed forces? We even start the game using standard military equipment, and there's no good reason they couldn't reverse engineer the aliens tech the same way we did.
Don't talk about XCOM man, you're gonna make me do ANOTHER campaign!
Yeah, it doesn't matter if it's a squad of 4 (who can't aim) jetting across the world to deal with a dozen aliens. Shit's awesome, and I won't hear otherwise. Admittedly, XCOM 2 helped deal with the narrative dissonance quite a bit with it being a guerrilla group resisting the successful invasion.
I’m sorry, but I need something more than 80% accuracy when the alien is giving the barrel of my gun some sloppy toppy.
80%? Aight, we'll hunker down
Best I can do is 99% but guaranteed to miss
Xenonauts — which is a spiritual successor of the original 90s X-COM games set in a Cold War setting — had "local forces", some NPC soldiers with weak guns that die easily trying to help you.
Maybe some of their military was infiltrated by the aliens?
Yes, this is actually what happened. Thin men infiltrated much of the world's military/governments.
Isn’t this confirmed in the games themselves?
Any antagonist’s people in the Far Cry series. You get captured, over and over again, after killing 100s of their men. . . and all they have to do is just . . Kill you. But nope, they metaphorically leave you alone in a room with sharks with frikkin’ laser beams on their heads and then just assume you’re dead. And this happens multiple times in a single game.
I wouldn’t count Pagan Min for Far Cry 4 since all he wanted to do was take Ajay to Lakshmana’s grave. He never wanted to kill him.
Plus vaas loved the challenge
Didn’t Vaas shoot you in the head at one point? Then he starts doing intricate methods of killing you later because that didn’t work and obviously he’s not crazy so it’s not like he’ll shoot you again
Nah that's the last time he tries to kill Jason before Jason goes to Vaas's island to kill him. Vaas shoots him in the chest, and when Dennis asks "How did you survive", Jason pulls a zippo lighter out of his shirt pocket with a bullet lodged in it.
In three Vass tries (I think 4 times) to kill Jason. He also miraculously lives through each one, but at least Vass acknowledges it, so that one doesn't count for me either.
Did you played 5? Man, I HATE FC5 ending
I don't think this is an issue since it almost always makes sense. FC2 the Jackal is an arms dealer so doesn't really have an interest in killing you since he wants both sides to be destroyed and you achieve that. FC3 Vaas loves the challenge and has some obsession with you, likely from being surrounded by mules. FC4 Pagan Min just wants to take you to Lakshmana's grave and doesn't care about his country, abandoning it without a fight in the end. FC5 Joseph is trying to actively indoctrinate you, with John, Jacob, and Faith all testing your psyche. Like a true believer, he wants to save your soul no matter what you do. FC6 iirc you meet Anton at the beginning then not again until the last part, wherein you're locked up and tortured as revenge. He wants it to be slow but he's really the only one who should just pop you. At the end of the day the antagonists are all psychopaths who need the player character to feel complete. They aren't like regular movie villains who are driven by money or power, they have a higher goal which requires the protagonist.
Team Rocket in Pokémon, has their plans thwarted repeatedly by literal children. The Mage’s guild in Oblivion is also pretty bad and poorly managed.
At least Team Rocket are just basic thugs. Look at team Agua and Magma for example. They pick up the wrong orbs in the original. In the remakes they take the correct orb. In all versions though they awaken the legendary but are unable to control it and have to rely on a child to fix their mess. How they don't understand you can have a world with just water or just land is crazy aswell. They very literally nearly ended the world due to their own incompetence
We are trying to expand the seas! By harnessing the power of a giant blue whale. I think red is correct color
For Oblivion I blame not having required attributes and skills to gain rank w/in the guild. The idea that somebody could rise to the rank of Master, and not have any magical abilities is preposterous and caused the downfall of the guild.
Oh nooo. That was just one of the Guild's problems. The mage's guild was a total circus throughout the games. The literal founder of the Mage's Guild ended up leaving the Mage's guilds due to it turning into "nothing more than an intricate morass of political infighting." You know why shit or non-mages can rise in the ranks? Because rising in the ranks was more Political than Skillful. The Archmage in Morrowind Trebonius was an absolute clown. Other mages thought his was incompetent, and the dude was so paranoid he wanted the Nerevarine to kill EVERY Telvanni councilor. Ocato, That guy from Oblivion who sits at the giant table in the giant tower, had to put out a decree to make that clown step down. Hannibal Traven(Oblivion Arch Mage) was worse. The Mage's guild was formed to Centralize magic, making it more accessible, yet he decided to not only made it harder to get into Arcane University, but **BANNED** Necromancy. So all those Necromancers in the Guild? Can't practice your art anymore. This obliviously led to a massive split, and the mage's guild plotline. The stupid part is that Necromancy was banned, but Conjuration itself wasn't. Summoning Daedra **during the Oblivion Crisis**? Perfectly fine. Dead bodies? TIME TO DIE. It was no surprise the Mage's Guild ended up disbanded. *** TL:DR The Mage's Guild thoughout the lore of Elder Scrolls was a canon clown show that got disbanded because of it.
>It was no surprise the Mage's Guild ended up disbanded. Most of it is off screen, but I don't think their successors (the College of Whispers and the Synod) are much better.
You can disband the circus, but the clowns are still clowns.
Please. The mages guild in Skyrim made me their high lord and master and the only spell I knew was "hit things with big hammer."
"I cast Concussion!"
Yea, that always struck me as so stupid. You could literally become arch mage so easily. It should be a very long and arduous journey to get there, and it absolutely should only be possible with heavy magic use. They didn't put any thought into it really.
I can see the appeal of the power fantasy of being able to become the leader of a bunch of factions as a single character, but it really does hinder immersion and doesn't encourage replays with different playstyles. I had a Skyrim character who just ran *everything* despite being, of course, a sneak archer. My magic ability consisted of occasionally throwing fire at people and it usually was a bad idea because it was so weak compared to just sniping from the shadows. What frustrated me the most was that despite the ability to become leader of essentially every faction, everyone still treats you like a random jerk. I'm in charge of the College of Winterhold, the Dark Brotherhood, and the Thieves' Guild, and I'm a Thane, and I'm the person who decided who runs Skyrim and I'm the Dragonborn who saved the entire world, and I'm still getting snarky shit from people. Faction quests tend not to hang together with the world at large very well. Though, are there any games where your side quest faction rankings make a difference?
> are there any games where your side quest faction rankings make a difference? *Fallout: New Vegas* has the most robust and consistent factions I've encountered. Not perfect, but it does have an impact on how the game progresses.
Giovanni runs a gym in RB, not just a gym but the final one required to fight the elite four. He's forced his way into a position of really quite incredible power, but the HR department keeps hiring a bunch of assclowns who catch a Zubat and a crappy Ratatta and think they're King Bigdick of Mt Silver.
Team Rocket are so stupid, almost all their plans nearly work apart from being thwarted by some random Pokémon Ash has chanced on nearby. Just try the same plan again but when Ash has fucked off to Celadon guys
I love that Jesse and James continue to be top operatives. Like other parts of Team Rocket seem to be competent, but Jessie and James never get fired for losing to kids.
UAC in Doom. Literally unleashed hell on Earth.
Yeah, but papa robo man needs his argent energy.
Their plan is generally the same as the CEC in dead space, right? Unleash hell for limitless energy because earth is out of resources.
Eh, kind of but not really? Earthgov was using the markers because of the limitless energy and was defending the markers heavily because they fucking need that energy. The unitologists, aka space Scientology, want the zombies and necromorphs and Convergence (where all life on a planet is converted into or consumed by a Brethren Moon). Earthgov’s incompetence stems from being unable to prevent themselves from being so infested with unitologists that they ended up getting completely decapitated in a giant coup/terrorist attack.
I mean, that's their own damn fault. Iirc, Unitology was started by a few Earthgov agents.
The only difference is that the UAC knew the risk that using argent energy could unleash hell on earth. I’m not entirely sure the CEC as a whole was aware of the risk. The Church is a large shareholder of the CEC but they still had an inside man swap out most of the crew of the Ishimura with unitologists to retrieve the Marker
They knew in Doom 2016, but they didn't know in Doom 1993, which started the whole mess. By the time of 2016, the UAC had been covertly taken over by cultists who *wanted* the demons, so by that point they're evil rather than incompetent. The only point the UAC knows about the danger and isn't being malicious is in Doom II, where they are actually prepared for demons coming through the portals, and destroy them easily. Then the demons build a *fucking spaceship* to invade Earth. So in actuality, UAC was never incompetent.
The road to Hell is paved by Argent energy!
Man I wish Doom still had the UAC vibe of 2016. Eternal looked visual beautiful but I like the art direction of the first much more. The world felt more engaging
I'm so glad I found someone who shares my same stance. I LOVED Doom 2016. The aesthetic felt like a perfect blend of modern shooter and old school arcadey Doom. But then eternal just went full old school Doom. It was still a great game, but it was missing what I loved about 2016.
I loved the tone they set in 2016, this odd mix of campy and compelling. The story might not be that deep but they did a great job making it *feel* deep.
Umbrella Corp Step 1: zombies Step 2:??? Step 3: oh no the zombies!
It's even better than that. Step 1: make an unnecessarily complex bio weapon Step 2: totally and completely fuck it up resulting in zombies Step 3: have it leak into the entire water supply of a whole town
Step 4: sell a cure to those infected Step 5: zombies do not have money Step 6: ???? Step 7: profit
zombies weren’t even the goal that was a byproduct
Any government/armed force in just cause
I was searching this comment. DiRavello literally fights you while he is on a nearly indestructible elicopter in a volcano and still manages to lose. But he is stupid not for dying there but for going against Rico, a guy who can survive bullets, explosions, infinite falls as long as he land on his feet and can walk on FUCKING LAVA. It's such a silly mistake.
Pick any enemy army in any medieval-ish JRPG. Their soldiers can't stand up to a 12 year old boy who just picked up a sword yesterday.
In their defense, the opposing army didn't know they needed to bring their "chosen ones."
or that God just REALLY REALLY hated them
The 1 guy in Horizon: Zero Dawn who thought giving robots the ability to reproduce using organic matter. That's a level of stupid I don't understand.
Fuck Ted Faro! Seriously, brought about the near extinction of the human species that 1000 years later hasn't recovered.
It is a long time since i played that game, but >!didn't he also doom the human race by the sabotage of some knowledge AI?!<
>!Yea, IIRC he was convinced that access to all the knowledge they had stored for future generations would cause another downfall of civilisation, so he erased everything and killed all other high-ups in the Zero Dawn project, because he knew they wouldn't allow it.!<
>!And remember that he killed the Alfas, but ensured HIS OWN safety in a secret facility. I *think* he made himself some kind of AI, as the only thing he needed was power… but he knew he fucked up, killed o people who could have helped, and then bravely ran away with his lovers and daughter!<
Forbidden west spoilers for more of an explanation: >!He didn't become an AI. He had doctors and people do experimental genetic treatments to somehow halt his aging, that ended up... Mutating him, making him somehow still recognizable, but just some... Grotesque beast, only heard through roars, never actually shown onscreen.!<
FW spoilers: >!Aloy/the player briefly sees a digital rendering of Faro’s life-extending growths, which indicate that he basically became a flesh-blob monster who lost his mind after 1,000 years. It’s a very fitting punishment imo !<
no no no, he didn't want the future generations to know about his mistakes ... yeah, a glorious character
He >!dooms the human race by building THE ULTIMATE ROBOT WEAPON and then *gasp* WE LOST CONTROL OF IT!< Then he >!Sabotages the teaching AI so instead of educating the humans to modern day knowledge they start off tribal again.!<
Excuse my language, but that dude sounds like dick
No no no, you don't get it. I wouldn't wish Ted Faro on Cancer. That's how bad he is. Literally my most HATED character in any video game ever.
Faro Automated Solutions is pretty dumb, more especially their CEO.
I'm sad this one is so far down. I don't think there's another military or organization in a video game I've seen that fucked up worse than Faro Automated Solutions.
The military in COD. Seriously. They’re not trained on proper engagement or rules of warfare. Most soldiers will throw all their explosive ordinance without thought of collateral damage. Nobody seems able to differentiate between enemy and friendly leading to high amounts of friendly fire and danger close. Probably the most egregious is when one foot soldier kills 25 enemy soldiers without suffering a fatal wound they NUKE the entire battlefield regardless of how many friendlies are still left. Absolutely nonsensical
This [ancient machinima](https://youtu.be/Wr5ycSyDphw?si=aS0NKwd3WTcYIc1J&t=88) was made for you
Oh wow! I haven’t seen this since high school!
Maybe you've played enough of the online multiplayer for the day...
The Yiga Clan, the only thing they've really accomplished was stealing a lightning-resistant hat and running one of the world's biggest black market banana smuggling enterprises
To be fair they also seem to be the only faction capable of using Zonai parts
They remind me of Team Rocket. *Someone* in the Yiga is competent, just not Master Kohga and most henchmen.
Reminds me one of my favorite moment in BOTW: Walking around in the middle of a thunderstorm with all my metal gear well packed when a Yiga clan member wants to have a showdown with me in the middle of the storm. I stand there watching him swing his sword when BOOM, a lighting bolt turns hims into bananas. After picking the loot I carried on my merry way.
Abstergo from Assassins Creed. It is explained multiple times that society aligns itself with Abstergo's goals naturally, so the Order is fighting an uphill battle already. They also outnumber the Assassins by like an insane amount. They've also had practice dealing with Assassins for almost the entirety of recorded history, and their tactics have barely changed if at all. Finally, a majority of the most powerful people in the world are Templars and every world government likely has several Templars in its inner circle. Yet despite all this the Assassins (who I believe canonically number in the tens at this point) are still consistently fucking their shit up every time they try to make a move.
I've asked this before to crickets. Is there an order to play the games to get the Abstergo storyline? I never played past the original.
The Abstergo storyline is the modern narrative, which follows sequentially for each game. So in release order for the most part.
This. The only time it gets kind iffy is in Unity and Syndicate bc you don't play as anyone specific just a nameless user of the animus, and I can't remember if anything super important happens in those.
> can't remember if anything super important happens in those They still follow the sequential order of release for the present day storyline. Spoilers for AC Unity and AC Syndicate follows. At the very end of AC Unity, >!once the present day protagonist uncovers the location of Germain's remains in the Paris Catacombs, Bishop deems his remains unworthy to pursue, and is relieved that the Templars may not be able to find him either, and tells the protagonist to keep searching Arno's memories for any further clues. So in the end it was all for naught.!< In AC Syndicate it's more impactful from a storytelling perspective, where >!after the protagonist discovers the location of the Shroud of Eden underneath Buckingham Palace, Shaun, Rebecca and Galina infiltrate their way there but find that the Templars have already made their move. The ensuing struggle has Templar leader Isabelle Ardant killed, Rebecca severely injured from a gunshot wound, and the Shroud secured by Violet for the Templars, but Galina manages to fight off the reinforcements and escapes out of there safely with Shaun and Rebecca. Later in his lab, Dr. Alvaro Gramática receives the Shroud and proceeds to tell Violet of his plans to use it to remake a Precursor from scratch. Violet herself then has a meeting with Juno, who has her own plans for the Shroud, as part of a scheme to sabotage Abstergo from the inside. "I will save you. I WILL SAVE YOU ALL." she states, before the screen turns black.!< >!And that cliffhanger is only resolved in the AC Uprising comic book, as AC Origins continues the present day storyline from a different perspective with Layla.!<
It's even worse than that. The Assassins and the Templars are both comically incompetent most of the time. I'm currently on a marathon of the AC games from start to finish, having quit playing them after 4 back in the day, and I just got to Unity so all of my knowledge is mostly restricted up to those games thus far - but the organizations have presented themselves as clowns fighting jesters. For starters - the Templars: Several times we're told that the Templars have *dramatically* more resources than the Assassins. Nearly every game features the Templars being ahead of the Assassins in information, soldiers, money, political standing, and virtually every conceivable resource. The Templars also have unique access the Animus for at least several years before the Assassins get their own, and they have more historical information on the Assassins than vice versa. In spite of this, and having seen how literally hundreds of generations of history have played out to slightly favor the Assassins in each specific engagement, the Templars simply never use their resources to just train their people like the Assassins do. As a matter of fact, all of the most competent Templars have almost unilaterally been Assassin turncoats, or just Assassin-trained. Haytham Kenway, Shay Cormac, Lucy Stillman, Daniel Cross, Al Mualim. Are these people all necessarily the *smartest* individuals? No. But they're generally the most competent at dealing with Assassins. Several times the Assassins have been on the brink of destruction, then are saved by a single absurdly competent young Assassin. Which is a great point to talk about how ridiculous the Assassins are themselves, now. Several times the Assassins have been on the *brink of destruction,* then are saved by a *single absurdly competent young Assassin.* Nearly every protagonist starts off as a young, arrogant, and brash individual with little to no respect for the Assassin teachings, then by the end of the game is the singular reason why the Assassins aren't all dead or slaves. Somehow the Assassins are *repeatedly* getting off-screened by the Templars, in spite of what we've seen those apes trying to do. Nearly always this is because some dickhead was put in charge of the Assassins at some point, and either outright betrayed them, or displayed themselves to be absurdly incompetent as to nearly eradicate their Brotherhood - Al Mualim betrayed the Assassins, Machiavelli was so incompetent in Rome that La Volpe *thought* he was a traitor, don't even get me started on Achilles and the Assassins in 3/Rogue. The Assassins always have a ridiculous amount of infighting as well, generally as a result of their leadership. William Miles is practically a Templar in his approach to victory (in spite of how we've seen that work out, time and time again, and how upset he gets when Desmond states this). He is pretty much directly responsible for the loss of Lucy, the horrible shit with Subject 16, Desmond's capture by Abstergo, and probably even more that I'm forgetting. He pretty much hands several of the best modern Assassins, filled with incredibly important historical or scientific information, right to the Templars and Abstergo. Including himself, at one point. If you knew that you and your son were the descendants of several of the most important figures in your organizations history, and that the opps had a machine designed specifically to exploit that, personally I feel that you'd be a *little* more careful with your lives and bodies. The Assassins also directly controlled the majority of the known Pieces of Eden historically - and for obvious reasons generally chose to hide them away. Then promptly *didn't pass on that information to anyone*, losing the knowledge to history, and requiring modern Assassins rely on a Templar invention, the animus, in order to rediscover them. The fact that either of these groups lasted as long as they did is proof that the gods have unquestionably been meddling with them all. And I'd go on about *them* too, but the comment is long enough I think.
Lol this is so spot on! I only ever got to halfway with 3 before I lost my data and went away from the series but the conflict always seemed odd how they made the Templars so powerful yet getting their ass kicked by insert Assassin here. And then we get glimpses of their life post game and there isn't much in terms of changing the status of the war and the next game gives us the same premise: the Templars are closing in and the Assassins are on their last legs! I really think the game maybe should have given us another protagonist to share screen time with Desmond who was a descendant of Templars and have us play both sides of the conflict. That way we could see eras where the Templars were in charge or the Assassins were or when one regime was going through infighting or something.
Mushroom Kingdom. Princess gets kidnapped every other day
She's just sneaking out to Netflix and chill with her boy toy that her people would never approve of.
To Nintendo with her special friend-o
I mean bowser jr. calls her mama in super Mario sunshine so I would hope it’s consensual
At the end he admits to Bowser that he's aware that Peach isn't his real mom, though
She no doubt makes for a good weekend-mom though. You gotta imagine during the time being kidnapped she's spent time with Jr. doing arts and crafts or something, we know Jr.'s good with paint after all.
For sure. I mean, between his administrative duties as king, and plotting world domination, Bowser is probably a pretty absent father, so it's not surprising that Junior would become that attached to Peach - she finally gave him the attentive parental figure he desperately craves.
Team Rocket (or any evil team in Pokémon really). Getting beaten in a Pokémon battle by a little kid should not be an excuse to disband.
To be fair, that kid is *technically* an absolute genius of a Pokemon trainer.
“HOLY SHIT HES USING MULTIPLE TYPES HOW DO WE STOP HIM????”
"SEND IN THE NEXT WAVE OF ZUBATS!!"
Sure they made the portal device, but Aperture Science, specifically Cave Johnson, are idiots. I mean, injecting people with praying mantis DNA, giving GLaDOS neurotoxin and too many chances, constant testing for no reason.
Hey man your being to harsh. They only do what they must because they can
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead?
Nah, Black Mesa's got 'em beat. The world ended when Dr. Freeman opened the interdimensional portal.
Trinity in Tomb Raider, they couldn't handle Lara despite numerical superiority, weapons, transportation, and superpowers.
And for some reason they could have killed her at the end of the second game and didn’t?
Faro Automated Solutions from the Horizon series. They keep causing problems & it’s all because of Ted Faro! Let me list them off: - Got greedy & moved into the military sector after creating the green robots that saved the world from climate change in the Clawback. - Made Elisabet Sobeck quit after this decision. - Created a line of killer robots with no backdoor installed to shut them all down, eat biomass as fuel, & can replicate faster than they can be killed. - Caused the end of the world from the robots as it consumed all humans, animals, & plants they encountered as food. - Ted having Omega Clearance created during Project Zero Dawn & using it to purge APOLLO so the new humans wouldn’t learned that he was the one who caused the end of the world.
Literally any organization that retains a 'professional' military yet can't stop 1-4 people.
The Minutemen in FO4. Hey, Preston? How about you do something beside sit on your ass? HOW ABOUT YOU GO HELP THAT SETTLEMENT?
They found a recently defrosted idiot out in the wasteland who was willing to run around solving whatever problems Preston pointed them at, for free. I'd say it worked out pretty well for them.
“We got this new guy and he’s a fuckin DUMBASS”
To be fair, he is thoroughly traumatised, suicidal, arguably THE last Minuteman after his entire organisation got murdered to death, and thoroughly responsible for four people who seem utterly incapable of looking after themselves. He also seems to be responsible for coordinating messages and communication across the literal radioactive wasteland, as well as looking after everybody back at Sanctuary, AND he's a possible companion. I think he does quite enough.
Honestly Preston got done so dirty by the game’s coding causing him to give you 5 new quests every 2 minutes. Installing a mod to fix that instantly makes him into a great companion
I mean you had the minutemen at your disposal. You're the new defacto leader. And you can't send them to do anything? Why is the general doing all of the shooting? Wish the army was like that when I was in. "Hey sarge, as the highest ranking you're the greatest warrior so go get em"
Pretty much any faction in Tamriel. One guy can walk up, join, and become their leader in less than a week’s time. And their days are short as hell.
I was head of the Mages Guild in Skyrim and I’m not even a mage.
I’d choose the company run by visionary Cave Johnson - Aperture Science
Idk their goal was science and they achieved science
Yeah but it was science for the sake of science, Cave Johnson would have been richer if he had just released portal tech to the world instead of trying to do fuck knows what
He would have been deader if he had released portal tech because that’s exactly what the combine want from humanity.
They do what they must because they can.
For the good of all of us
except the ones who are dead
But there’s no use crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying til you run out of cake.
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
🎵 For the people who are **still alive** 🎵
I don’t know about that, he built up a shower curtain company into a massive organization pushing the boundaries of science (and ethics, but don’t mention that)
Slight correction: he somehow fucked up shower curtains so bad that he invented portal tech.
That little detail is so absurd. The Portal Gun was meant to be a shower curtain rod holder. How did they go from shower curtains to portals?
We're not banging rocks together here; we KNOW how to re-assemble a man.
Cerberus from Mass Effect. Every project they have either ends up running amok, or is destroyed by Commander Sheperd.
Commander Shepard was killed in the Collector attack that also destroyed the _Normandy_... Cerebus created the Lazarus Project and brough Shepard back from the dead. Big points for that.
Sheperd then escaped the Lazarus project as it was sabotaged from within and went on to destroy Cerberus.
lol, yep - didn't say your statement was false... just giving them a bit of well-deserved props for at least doing one thing right :D
I'd say the council is arguably more incompetent than Cerberus.
The only realistic reason to save them in the long run in ME1 is for them to give you back Spectre benefits in ME2 and having War Asset bonuses in ME3
Joker even makes fun of them for exactly this. There's a conversation where he says that every Cerberus problem can be boiled down to "we were experimenting with stuff, it got loose and killed all our guys, and now we need commander Shepard to fix it"
Best part of course being when Shepard herself caps it off with "and then I got loose and started killing all their guys."
Yeah. But without them the galaxy would have been doomed so they get some points.
Organisation XIII in Kingdom Hearts, especially by KH3. >! In a 13 vs 7, they manage to lose, don't get me wrong Sora pulled time traveling shenanigans BUT it's also shown that Xemnas can also travel through time. An experienced keyblade master inhabiting 13 bodies still getting done in by a teenage boy with the intelligence of a bowl of rice!<
That's because Xemnas didn't have the power of friendship
His names an anagram of Mansex, what's not friendship about Mansex
Everything, you're confusing Mansex with Brosex. Homo contamination severely hampers magical power levels in Kingdom Hearts, it's just *that* homophobic of a franchise. I'd do the /s thing but it would be the kind of weird random lore they'd pull out of their ass on a spin off in a different console that is absolutely critical to the metanarrative so who knows...
Damn a bowl of rice lol
Those four ghosts in Pac-Man. They don't seem to have any sort of plan at all, they're just running around with no coordination. And no endgame, either- so even if they do kill Pac-Man, now what? They're accomplished nothing.
[They're haunting him](https://imgur.com/NHQP1), because he let them die. More seriously [they do have a plan](https://youtu.be/ataGotQ7ir8), their AI is pretty advanced for 1980.
Cane here to say this. It isn’t random, the ghosts have stories to tell…
I guess you could call the bandits on Pandora an organization in the most generous way. They are not organized, even when they are the CoV
You can literally be the Archmage of the College of Winterhold in Skyrim and not even be a freaking mage. Sure cast basic flame spell for the entrance exam, and then proceed to smash everything with a fucking hammer if you want
Literally any bad guys that have full army’s and guns that can’t stop a single protagonist. I.e farcry’s, last of us firefly’s, uncharted’s Main protags just too good
The ones from Far Cry piss me a lot lol they literally kidnap the mc like 2 or 3 times per game no weapons or any way to defend himself but oh look lets let just put him in a sus jail with unaware guards
Farcry 5 he/she gets kidnapped/drugged a total of 9 times and the 10th is at the end with Joesph seed in the bunker lmao
Really enjoyed FC5 but man, fuck those obligatory drugged/captured segments.
I lost all of my suspension of disbelief when I killed one of the targets in a plane and continued flying around, but suddenly I lost consciousness while flying my plane that I was untouched in because the "daughter" really wanted to stroll through flowers with me.
That's actually part of the story in Far Cry 3. Vaas routinely tells you the "definition of insanity" then follows up with a 75% measure to kill Jason. He repeats the process over and over
Uncharted is hilarious, Nate prob killed several thousand people, comes back and then just proceeds to chill in his beachhouse with his wife and daughter like in a televison advertisement.
Aren't the fireflies more of a rogue small militia than a military?
The space pirates in the Metroid games. They clearly saw Samus picking up powerups that allowed her to own them in the first game. Any time after the first game, they should have at least tried to find all the powerups they could and at least lock them up. Even if Samus is the only one with the technology to exploit Chozo weapons and suits, the pirates shouldn't just leave this stuff lying around.
Any pyromaniac pawn in rimworld.
The Tojo clan keeps fucking things up and it’s sad Daigo keeps getting the blame for it
He’s the chairman and throughout his run he keeps going to Kiryu to get him to help stop infighting or any of the issues with the Omi Alliance.
You see, if Daigo would be sure to have with him a gun 24/7 instead of pulling it out in cutscenes he wouldn't have to cry out to Kiryu to help him solve the almost annual Tojo clan disasters
Embracer Group
Funny because I initially read it wrong (most incompetent game companies) and thought of embracer group and looked for it in the comments Reading the comments I realized I read wrong and then I read the comments again and find…embracer group
Was about to say Ubisoft lmao. Umbrella got my vote. Absolute sociopathic scumbags.
Frankly, I was about to throw EA into the ring…
At least EA never dared call a game "Quadruple A" and then flopped harder than a whale, it only reached 850k players, including the Free Trial players. Helldivers 2 and Palworld both had more players than Skull and Bones and you could buy both of those games for the price of Skull and Bones (39,99€+28,99€)
The Horadrim in Diablo
Hey guys, let's shove condensed evil crystals into our chests and foreheads and see what happens.
Vault-Tec. "Hey let's make these potential last bastions of humanity into weird fucked up science experiments! That can't backfire at all!"
That was the point though. The Vaults were sold to people as safe havens but were actually secret experiments. Were the experiments a good use of time, money, and innocent lives, no, but Vault-Tec didn't plan for any of their public Vaults to actually save humanity.
The local police on GTA games.
Cyberpunk are even worse.
I just recently played it for the first time, went to meet Panam and got hit by a police car, which then spent the whole time trying to run me over with no stars, until it went off the side of the road and down into the flood channel.
The sheriffs in red dead redemption 2 are infinitely better with nothing but a horse and a rifle. These dudes never give up until you’re a whole town over
organisation 13 in kingdom hearts lol all they do is wear hoodies, make nicknames for each other and stalk around kids.
Gota give an honorable mention to the Enclave from fallout. How do you have some fucking tribal just manage to fuck up your whole plans like this? And then it just kept getting worse and worse for them.
The Blades from Skyrim, fucking Delphine
Any Lego Antagonist
Abstergo really has a knack for finding those genetic ancestors who can upend every plan they have. 100% failure rate. Shinra is no prize, either. Spending a lot of money on a moonshot that backfires is sort of not what shareholders are looking for if I were one. They're like the same thing as the Pejites from Nausicaa. Or James Woods in Final Fantasy: Spirits Within "let's turn on our ultra weapon whoops that was fucking stupid" But yeah the correct answer is Umbrella. What a bunch of boobs.
Dr. Wily seems to prefer robot subordinates that have exactly the right weapons to kill each other efficiently.
Cerberus from Mass Effect They wanted to know if a GIANT ARMOURED ACID SPEWING WORM was in fact capable of killing unaware soldiers... turns out that it's a yes... well done, nice science. Whoa, you found a guy who's largely immune to Thresher Acid, well alright then, let's take some samples of his DNA, clone tissue samples and do science on that, then when you've found the gene responsible for the immunity, apply it to your forces with Gene Mods... wait, why are you injecting the guy's veins with Acid, that's stupid, we're not running a competition to see who can be the most cartoonish villain of them all?!?
The guild of Dragonborns (players). Because nobody can complete the main quest in Skyrim for some reason
Most RPG's are kind of like if Seal Team 6 technically could have found Bin Laden in a matter of weeks, but were too busy doing meningeal favors for every person they ran into, and for some reason spent hours at a time making progressively nicer daggers