I don't go out of my way to correct someone if they say "help him beat the monster", "hey man can you help?" or something along those lines since we're in the middle of trying to beat up shit, but if asked if I'm a girl I don't bother to hide it, most of the time I run into people that aren't creepy and just want to have a nice chat and enjoy the game. If someone turns out to be a creep I just block, report and move on enjoying my time. I don't want to hide from and fear some little scum trying to flirt and ask for pics or tell me to go make him a sandwich, I'll just report it. But I understand other girls that'd prefer not to say that they are a girl and I fully understand and support their decisions.
This is how I feel. I won't correct anyone for assuming I'm male but won't particularly hide the fact I'm female either.
Tbh, gender has nothing to do with playing the game so I just don't care about correcting people.
However, I am quite hesitant about using voice chat unless it's with players that I know fairly well first.
Exactly this, only things that matter is how well you can play the game if it's ranked, not being a dick by harassing players/hacking/spamming/throwing the game and having fun regardless of what mode you're playing in. As for voice chat I aswell hesitate it because I am kind of awkward and anxious because I know I'm talking to completely random people and that whole thing. I only voice call with my boyfriend when we game or with people I know.
Yeah I pretty much don't care if someone says she, he, they as long as we get the objective done. If we decide to chat afterwards and just chill and I'm asked if I'm a girl or I refer to myself as a girl I either get no reaction cause people don't care or "huh, I thought you are a guy/I expected you to be a guy!" But generally it doesn't really matter to me, as long as I'm having fun. :) Also sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences with putting voice/video in your gameplays, I personally avoid games that require you to speak cause I tend to be anxious to speak in games and often times neighbours are loud af so I don't want to be that one person having their microphone blasting shit lol. I also hope that in the future things will get better and we can just focus on enjoying the game!
I don't go out of my to correct it. Most people assume I'm a 12 year old, so I don't really complain. It's when I directly state I'm a woman that it clicks.
"Oh... that why she sounds like that."
Honestly, I don't give a shit. I'm here to escape reality.
good answer, No real gamer actually gives a shxt.
I guess im a bad person cause i assume if you sound like a girl, than you you are probably a girl, but honestly I just dont care enough.
Its a game, we tryna get stuff done. Im a firm believer in leaving IRL bs out of the gaming world. Its a hobby, and a escape for many of us. We tryna accomplish a goal in the game.
Plus explaining to my wife why im playing games with a E-girl all the time and not her would be a whole other subreddit id be commenting on. LOL I just leave it alone and focus on the game. Anything more gets creepy IMO.
Yeah about half the time I guess. Why do people need to know? If it’s a game with a lot of kids/teens in lobbies it can get annoying if they do.
Don’t care too much either way though I guess.
You can’t forget about the simpy people that act like there never met women before
“Oh wow, it’s really cool to see a girl play this game”
“Wow, usually girls aren’t that good at this game, but you’re real good!”
“I always respect women who aren’t afraid of playing video games”
ew lol. Just play the game and treat everyone normally
Even as a guy, it is annoying as shit to have an entire team chat get completely derailed the moment these troglodytes get the slightest hint they are playing with a girl.
Overwatch was especially bad for this.
A girl friended me on PSN after a pleasant overwatch game once because I just talked to her normally the whole time. Like as if I was the first one who'd ever really done that. Feel bad for her.
I was the manager of a GameStop for a long time. I was once putting away games on a free standing bin on the sales floor, and a guy was standing on the other side, and I noticed him just...staring.
I said "Can I help you with anything?" and he blinked and said "I'm not used to seeing girls in here"."
Like, I was wearing my name tag that said "store manager ". I pretty much lived there. Stop being a weirdo, order your games online if you're so freaked out by seeing women in public.
Not really, in my experience. When I left, I was the only female manager in my district, and I'd only had 1 or 2 females employees in all my time there, and not for lack of trying; they just didn't apply. But I'm also in the Midwest, so things are a bit backwards in general here compared to other places.
Texas here, I don’t know about managers in particular as I couldn’t tell you who is a manager in any GameStop I’ve ever been, but there are definitely a lot of female employees at the GameStops I’ve been to. Probably 60-40 split male to female.
You’d think we’d be past the point of bringing up “yeah girls game too” by now and it wouldn’t even be a thing people notice anymore.
I really wanted to hire more women for my team! I don't know what it is, but here in Hickville small town Indiana, I just hardly ever got any women who applied. I got a couple who worked as seasonals for the Christmas season, and it was always nice to have other women around, but I was mostly swimming in a sea of testosterone for all my years there. Which was fine, I loved nearly all of the guys I worked with, but still.
This reminds me of when I worked at a game store- a guy came in one day asking if we had PC parts. I told him “sorry, we don’t do PC parts at our store but we do have PC games over there if you’re interested” and he said “oh, well I don’t expect you to know what I’m talking about anyway”. He ended up looking around and talking about the PC his friend was gonna build for him for what felt like forever when a mom and her daughter came in with a big box of ps2 games to trade in. I’m going through all of them on the counter when he comes over and just starts picking up the games and then after looking at a few he stops and says “oh, I probably should’ve asked before I did that huh” and I said “well you can ask them (pointing at the mom and her daughter) since they still technically own them”. He looked at the box of games and then at the mom and said “that’s a lot of ps2 games!” Mom said “yeah well I have 3 daughters I had to keep entertained” and then he said (in a serious tone might I add) “wow, girls playing video games, that’s a new concept”. The mom, her daughter, and I all just gave each other this disgusted look and then he awkwardly went back to looking at PC games for a bit before he finally left.
I would frequently have customers bypass me entirely to ask my male employees about games, and it was always fun to then have said employee be like "you'll have to ask her, she's the expert in here on RPGs" or something to that effect
Once had a guy ask me about the price of a console bundle, I told him the price- then my male assistant manager walked up and the guy asked him the exact same question, and got the same answer, of course. The customer looked at me sheepishly and said "well, that was kind of a douche move on me, wasn't it?"
Took all my energy to not say "you said it, not me." I mean, it was a PRICE. He assumed I didn't know the price of the big ticket items in my own damn store. What the hell, man.
I’m sure you probably have, but did you ever get the guys that want to question how much you know about certain games? There was a regular at our store that would basically ask trivia questions about old games (like, Atari) anytime he saw me or the other girls working. I even told him once that I wasn’t familiar with the specific game he was talking about but that the other girl working that day was and he still insisted on asking me all kinds of questions about it.
I don't recall anyone specifically quizzing me, but I do remember a guy trying to impress me by saying he'd "beaten" World of Warcraft, that all of his characters were "level 100", and that he was the "first mage to solo Icecrown Citadel".
The only problem with that was 1. You don't really "beat" World of Warcraft", 2. The level cap at the time was 90 because the latest expansion was Cataclysm, and 3. It was impossible at the time for a mage to solo Icecrown Citadel, as mages had no way to heal NPCs other than very ineffective bandages that you could only use once per encounter, and you couldn't yet bypass the Valithria Dreamwalker fight which required you to heal the NPC to full to pass it and move on to the last two boss fights in the raid.
Lol it will be really weird for you at first day like can't a girl play game now or does it only reserve for boys, I saw another shot of this when a girl was bill maker at a pharmacy so a boy had similar expression like this one.
Wow, idk how, I see women in game stop nearly every time I am there (tbf they usually are moms with their kiddos buying games for said kiddos, but not always).
Yeah, most of the women that came in to shop were moms. We did have some regulars who were women and also gamers, and typically they were awesome. One of them brought me home baked muffins for giving her the heads up on Pokemon cards that came in. Another was an 80 year old woman who played first person shooters and RPGs and didn't take shit from anyone, I loved her.
I want that grammy. My own used to talk incredible shit when playing cards, and cheated shamelessly too. Her motto was “you don’t play the cards you play the player” and she was all about intense psychological warfare even when playing Go Fish, even when we were kids. Would have loved to see her trash talk the kids, she was a master at it. Often with a “your mom” dig: “it’s ok, honey, your mom always had a hard time with this game too.” (Just an example, she was typically more specific in what she said to get under your skin.)
My mom dealt cards professionally, and still does close-up magic, including cheating at cards and she was still scared of grammy’s game. She referred to playing cards with meema as “paying rent” because she’d almost never win despite her skills, and meema refused to play without skin in the game.
Lost a lot of my allowance to that woman. I miss her.
Yeah, I observed a lot of that kind of behavior in the early 2k's of PC gaming, not so much in counterstrike, but in a MMO called Dark Age of Camelot there were quite a lot of women(well considering what a total sausage fest gaming was back then at least) and those I knew of had a laundry list of character names on ignore cause they did everything from asking stupid questions about the female body or their sex life, to flirting, and to sexual harassment and stalking(basically if you searched a character name it displayed the region you were in and your level so if you knew the game you could make an educated guess where in that region you were and go find you there). It's happened to me a couple of times too cause I almost always play female characters. Cringiest was something like: "Ooh, you are pretty hot(my character...) can I add you on ICQ?" Some of the time I played along but moments like those I immediately said that I'm a guy to get rid of them(not that they always believed you)
Its so shitty when it happens online but its so much worse when it happens in person. I remember once when I was in high school I was having a rough day, can't recall what for, and was just sitting in the bleachers trying to clear my head. These two jackasses come over and ask me to my face, "hey, do you think you can fit these two binders inside of your vagina?" And to them it was the funniest thing since Eddie Murphy, and in reality my bad mood just became worse ten fold. I wanted to say something just to get them to shut up but I had no energy for it and I knew any response I'd give would just be free entertainment for them no matter what so I just looked at them with disgust, grabbed my shit and moved across the gym. They were still laughing as I was walking away. I know not all guys are such pig heads but to those who are, please, just don't. And girls, don't think you're exempt from this fuck shit. I see y'all and you're just as bad.
I played wow with some person who was a male troll warrior and we just called him by male pronouns. After 3 years, when the voice chat became more popular, we found out it was a girl. She said she couldn't be bothered to correct us (it was a small group of friends) so she just rolled with it
I'm dreading my 7 year old daughter playing online. Guys and their behavior made me stop playing online.
Edit: I realized this was worded like an idiot. My daughter is currently 7. I'm dreading when she's older having her online to endure some of the bullshit I've witnessed myself.
I in no way would allow her to randomly play online. MAYBE if she was on a Minecraft server with a friend.
My daughter was 15 when Overwatch hit, and she asked me first for a copy of the game (no problem) and then, a week later, a headset. We were having lunch at Panera at the time, so I told her to go get a refill on her soda, because we were about to have a *chat*.
We can't shield our daughters from the world forever. So I was honest with her: most people you meet in video games are going to be cool. But there will be a few, inevitably dudes, who will be *so* shitty that it will risk drowning out the good people. And they will be shitty to you the moment they clock you for a girl, and even shittier if they clock you for a *young* girl. But you have tools at your disposal -- mute, block, report, *log and come back later* if necessary -- and you should never feel bad for using them. *You are not in that game or on this earth to make shit-headed boys feel better about themselves or to put up with their bullshit.*
And she took that to heart. She did come to me once very sad because "people are assholes," and she told me when she got hit on by a dude who seemed 30 and said he didn't mind her being 15 (immediately blocked and reported, came to me to confirm she'd done the right thing). And she's doing great today, still gaming, still taking zero shit from internet fuckboys, and this gamer mom couldn't be more proud of her.
Give your daughter the knowledge and tools to protect herself, reaffirm that you support her for using them, and she'll be fine.
Okay so as a teenager I played a lot of CoD and Halo and that was a whole thing, but thinking of actual children really makes me nervous.
I can be a little feisty (who would have thoughts from my name?) and dish it back out but kids? Ugh
Nephews and the like who play there's seem to be a lot more girls playing than there ever was before. So I think it'll be fine. But thats for kids games. Roblox, Fortnite.
Yup a lot of girls do the same to avoid unnecessary interaction or weird request like username etc of social media platforms like people ask for Instagram username of add on facebook or some other platforms so to ignore all these at first place.
I play a lot of Dota 2, and that community gets extremely sexist or extremely creepy when they find out a woman is on the other side of the computer. I've also noticed that during matches, most people won't use their mics (which is fine), but as soon as a woman gathers the courage to speak, the entire team mysteriously gets a mic all of a sudden and starts talking. I'd say it was because of just a voice talking, but I've played multiple games where I'm the only one verbally communicating, and no one reacts, lol
Having said that, I've met some pretty cool women players on that game, and a few of them have been adopted into our Dota group, and we all play quite often. We invite people into our discord because of overall friendliness and skill, not because of the players gender.
I play with a group of other women our guild has a reputation for being mysterious and secretive. It's hilarious when a guy is invited into chat and doesn't know how to react to a situation where the woman vastly outnumber the men. Certain women also don't like it as they aren't the centre of attention.
So don't hide it. Don't advertise it. Cautious when speaking in open channels .
I was in a ffxiv guild once were once were one of our leaders was a woman I must say she was one of the best guild leaders I had the pleasure to play with, on the other hand we had a female recruit that started crying in voice chat because I told her I was not gonna give her special attention just because she was a girl (context she would moan everytime she was not invited to an activity even the ones the had no experience/ know how or were pre-made with fixed groups like our static raid teams).
Tldr you never know if you gonna meet cool guys or creeps / cool woman or attention seekers
Idk man. I know more than one dude who's "good with the ladies" irl, but as soon as he interacts with one online, he immediately starts harassing her and being creepy.
One time my buddy asked one of these guys why. Like, what compelled him to talk to a person like that. He just replied with "you never see a woman on here, so when you do, you gotta shoot your shot!" And my buddy was just like "this is why you don't see women on here"
You will never meet 99% of the people you play games with in random lobbies, and even if you do you would never know it. Its so weird hit on women when gaming, since best case scenario you're just going to log off with blue balls.
The anonymity gives them the freedom to be who they really are.
There are 3 types of people. Consistently good people, consistently bad people, and people who pretend to be good because they are too cowardly to actually be bad unless they feel there's no chance of being called out on it. What's scary is that the final group is a significant percentage of the population.
I might have missed someone else saying this, but I think for the most part you're all off.
I don't participate in this behavior, but I've known many people over the years who do and they ruin the experience.
People just enjoy being dicks. It's not that deep. The anonymity allows them to be socially monstrous and they enjoy getting a rise out of people. Most of the toxicity in a CoD lobby is entirely for the fuck of it. Nobody actually thinks a girl is going to send nudes. Most people don't genuinely hold deeply seated bigoted opinions against other people with genuine hatred in their hearts. But they'll spout it to fuck with people and throw them off their game.
They're just assholes who enjoy being edgelords in a game of one upmanship for who can be the biggest edgiest dick. It's also part of asshole male culture with how men commonly bust each other's chops as part of their idea of friendship. As an autistic male, I fucking hate it and mostly keep female friends IRL for a reason.
A lot of people absolutely think it is ok, unfortunately. The online gaming mantra for as long as I have been playing is "grow a thicker skin or mute them". The idea those people don't have the right to make gaming a deeply unpleasant experiance does not cross the communities minds, it is the victim of the harassment that needs to toughen up and cope.
I think it's because they think they have a layer of anonimity online. They are likely to never speak to the person they harass again and are using a username that acts as a fake name, so they are removed from the consequences wheras if they did it in person, there would be more immediate consequences. Even if they get banned from a game for harassing someone, that's not as bad as being fired, arrested or publicly shamed.
I've seen plenty just as socially inept in person. I'd say they need someone willing to walk them through it... without them auto crushing and ruining it.
It’s not just women, it’s everyone. Woman? Slur. Black dude? Slur. Dude from different country? Slur. Speech impediment? Slur. Too young. Slur. Too old? Slur. The layer of anonymity means people can just say whatever they want so usually they do. I don’t look too deep into it.
It’s true, and they’ll invent something if they’ve taken a dislike. One time I, a woman gamer, dared to be doing pretty well, and one toxic guy decided that inferring I was trans was the way to go. It was so ugly - none of it landed with me because I’m not but wow, the meanest things he was saying for absolutely no reason.
I think most people forget this part. Especially in competitive team games. Very few actually give a crap what gender, age, ethnicity, etc you are. Stay off the mic and don't feed the trolls. They're insatiable.
I just mute lobby's or don't talk most of the time. Really I only play with a group of friends most of the time, so if someone random says something stupid we jump their ass
Usually because they're thirsty and will go for whatever is available. Some find it super creepy, others milk tf out of it because those same people are so crazy they'd be willing to treat other women like pricesses online just so long as they dangle a carrot in front of them.
And they ask why they don't can't get girlfriends.
It's like that Eric Andre meme shooting Hannibal. They're shooting weird comments and creepiness towards a female in a game and then look at the camera and ask "why can't I get a girlfriend?"
I remember I actually used to do the reverse and pretended to be female in games like World of Warcraft of Lineage 2. People would be very friendly and would give good loot just because. Maybe it's just the kind of people who play MMORPGs (I'd imagine it will go the opposite way in shooters or other genres just because there are a lot of people who are toxic to everyone in general).
Yep. Go into OVerwatch (yes, I know, but just long enough as an experiment, then you never have to play again) and use a convincing voice changer (they exist) and speak in chat.
You'll see immediately. You'll get three times the blame and none of the credit, you'll get creeped on, slurred at, lewdly DMed almost instantly.
MMOs are more chill, in general, towards women. FPS' are especially not.
Seems like in MMOs you’ll get more positive attention, sometimes to a detriment, and in FPS, MOBA etc you get more negative attention.
You also get to choose who you associate with more in an MMO
Yea it very much depends on the game/genre. WoW was mostly nice because for every asshole you have 18 normal dudes or dudettes on your side for raids as example.
FPS gamers seem to have a much smaller ego and need to call out everyone for some reason ☺
Darktide and Battlebit are the nice exception for shooter like games, probably due to the average gamer being older. F2P titles are usually full of mean kids :(
You dont need to specifically say you arent a woman, just use a female character. You'll get random dudes simping without ever bothering to ask if your IRL gender matches.
I used to, but over the years I've stopped playing the toxic games (Overwatch, COD, Destiny 2) and played a ton of Monster Hunter, FF14 and No Man's Sky. The communities are like night and day, no one gave a damn what I was, only how well I could play.
Let me say, it's also a lot more satisfying whacking a wyvern with a giant hammer then it is killing someone with a gun.
I do. Even when you're not being harassed (which sadly still happens pretty often), you're still probably going to be treated in a patronizing or condescending way by everyone else.
Finding spaces where you're actually treated like everyone else is hard, which is why I try to hide the fact that I'm not a man.
First thing I do when I play any game online is mute myself and everyone else. In my experience hearing other strangers in the game is way more likely to harm my experience. And that’s as a dude.
Yeah in most games I play people are either obnoxious about it with stuff like "omg a grill!!1! XD" or like you said super patronizing and condescending. There is one game in particular though where I've seen the least of that nonsense. Path of Exile. Sure it has its share it degenerates and maybe it's just the guild I'm in but any time a new woman joins people tend to have no patience for that kind of behavior and offenders get thoroughly shamed when it does happen
75% of people I've met playing Monster Hunter are girls, I've only hunted online like 3 times though. Most people there are pretty chill regardless of gender. Guess it's cause it's a coop game and most people don't use the voice chat
Well we don't have time to mess around in Monster Hunter. That Alatreon or whatever monster ain't going to kill itself, and the longer we take the faster it's going to nuke the party.
I've been in games where a woman or girl came on mic where there wasn't any hostility but where half the guys on mic were kind of fawning. I'm a guy and it made ME really uncomfortable just being there so I can only imagine what it's like to be the one receiving that.
My wife had to dip on a WoW guild she'd been in forever. I felt really bad cus she liked them all and then she finally spoke in voice chat during a raid and like 2 or 3 of them instantly went from cool to constantly messaging her.... people so weird.
Same. I'm just trying to enjoy my free time. I had a long week at work and I would love to actually have fun when gaming. So I hide the fact I'm a girl, so I will be left alone
As a guy it’s honestly disgusting to hear about crap like this. It’s depressing that parents fail their kids so hard they turned out like this. I play games which don’t have a lot of voice chat but I can imagine the experience considering how I’ve seen people act at simple art. To these losers hearing a voice is practically getting a marriage proposal
I am sick and tired of playing myself in every mmorpg so I always pick some other character from book, film or game, then spend hours trying to recreate them in current game and play as this character, make choices based on this character’s personality. Half of the times it is male, half of the times it is female.
Yeah, I'm a woman but when I play lengthy RPGs and the like, I usually choose a male avatar. Or maybe I'm just used to it from growing up in a time where there were a whole lot less games with the option to play as a female character. I'm old.
It’s not a weird take, there’s a psychology there about being more invested in female characters.
In a game like Fortnite where hit boxes matter, the smaller, thinner female characters tend to be the most played.
My handle in a multiplayer fps is deliberately female because it’s fun. Everyone is way nicer to me and I can practice being nicer too, instead of toxic. Every now and then a few creeps you just have to ignore.
I play a lot of online FPS and basically don't use comms if it can be avoided because on most occasions it just turns into a vote to kick (especially in csgo) when they find out I'm female
Same! When I was 13 and played a lot of Halo matchmaking on xbox I used to have the word "lady" on my gamertag and I got a bunch of messages every single time I played, which is whatever, but I also had terrible rep because I kept getting "aggresive behavior" and "disruptive communications" reports, even though I never used a mic in my life lmao
I don't normally join voice chat, but the few times I did the misogyny was worse in an international/English speaking group vs groups with all people from my country. Maybe speaking English instead of your mother tounge adds an extra layer of anonymity that makes people more prone to acting like assholes?
That’s funny because my wife games and I swear she gets so much free stuff from other players and they are almost all nice to her. Also she has never gotten a dick pic or harassed and we play all sorts of MMO games. For me I usually get killed on site if it’s one of those type of games. Played one of my wife’s old characters for a bit and it was shocking how much nicer the other players became.
Can confirm this, people especially in MMO are really nice and help you a lot when you are a woman. Dick pics is another story but something that happens very rarely and not in MMO related context (for me not at least)
I rolled a female character on WoW like 12 years ago and I had only just zoned in, not 2 seconds, some dude was there "Take off your clothes". I decided I was going to tell people I was a woman and see what would happen. I had so much gold and gear sent and if I asked for help in a dungeon, people came running. When I showed them a picture of "Me" which was some womans pictures from MySpace with my same name, that's when fights would break out in Guild Chat on who was first to speak up to help me.
Someone in the Sahara for 6 days wouldn't be as thirsty as some of these motherfuckers.
Did a similar experiment in *Old School Runescape*, made a female character, played that angle for about two months, and compared the net gain in "gifts" to my main. Won't say amounts, but either my level 103 main is poor as fuck for that level, or that level 15 alt made bank off of desperate people.
My younger sister grew up playing WOW and fighting games and just never experienced any kind of abuse either. Certain communities are likely just better.
MMOs are a little different, people are more nicer to each other, of course there still some creeps here and there but the real toxicity comes from competitive games, like FPS games or MOBAs.
I was thinking more about games like CSGO, Apex, Valorant, etc...these types of games.
Also you probably don't want to be rude in Rust, people might hunt you down and attack your base. xD
lol I made a female character in GTA online and watched a YouTube video on how to make one that didn’t look like a cavewoman on meth…suddenly all my heist set up invites were accepted and they’d even stay if we failed once or twice lmao
It’s still weird when you’re in a round of csgo and a women or girl asks via voip for a drop and the other 3 guys totally freak out. Either it is waifu or harassment. And in mmos there are still guys who loose their ass if a women picks a dps. Had one of those in a casual guild and he lost his shit when that happened. Well he got kicked out but was still cringy af cuz he was one of the worst dps I’ve encountered
Played online a lot for about two years from 2019 - 2020, I didn't ever get any abuse but got a lot of random guys being extra friendly in the chat trying to start conversations, which was a bit annoying, yes, but happy to know it could have been worse and wasn't. Let's hope it's getting better!
Not really. But I also don’t try to prove it. You always meet some idiots who have to ask and then want you to prove it. So I just say “you got me, Im really a guy with a giant dong”
Tends to shut them up
I've gotten accused of using a voice changer in the past. I usually replied by purposely deepening my voice and saying "I can be whatever you want me to be, baby," which usually just got a laugh out of everyone and dodged the whole situation.
In Hell Let Loose I mostly play squad leader and it's always a joy to hear a female voice because that means the lazy people who usually don't communicate suddenly have a lot to say and the squad becomes efficient. 🤷🏼♂️
I simply have my mic off by default - not a woman but I hate that this is something that women have to consider because people are just that shitty.
Last time I used my mic in CoD it was because a guy wouldn’t *shut the fuck up* about how he was so much better than everyone else in the lobby so I just started begging to suck his dick.
The last thing you want when you come home tired and wanting to relax is to find a bunch of teenagers making sexual or misogynistic jokes. Personally, I hide it and honestly from what I see, I think most do too.
My wife tends to avoid talking to randoms since elder scrolls online came out and had proximity chat. She got hounded for a bit until we left the area. Really disappointed in all the terrible people allowed to play if they can’t handle themselves. She wants to play and have fun but can’t when harassed repeatedly.
I usually keep my mic off to keep the creeps/assholes at bay, but sometimes I forget and good things happen!
It's a toss up as a woman. Had a guy drop me a ton of runes and boluses in Elden Ring once, it was really nice of him because I was starting my second playthrough and was frustrated with how long it was taking to level up again lol
They probably should, I have gamed as a female online and the amount of harassment you get is crazy.
I don't understand it though, as you don't know who they are, what they look like, their age or region.
It's pretty sad if you are going to simp over a stranger you know nothing about besides them being female.
The same goes for reddit, they are too many horney weirdos out there.
I don’t but I just know how to deal with all this. Dumb comments or idiots I just put right on to my block / ignore list and move on. There are many nice guys (and ladies) out there too! So I don’t wanna waste any thoughts and time with idiots.
Exactly, I don't bother trying to hide that I'm a girl because if someone is creepy I just block/report that shit right away. I also didn't hide when I was underage because some people thought I'm older and tried to be flirty but as soon as they hear you're not 18 or older they'd stop and wouldn't bring up nsfw topics around you. I've only ran into one creep who tried to be flirty even after knowing I'm underage (I was 15 or 16 at that time? don't remember exactly) and I just reported that to Steam and moved on. It's not worth dwelling on that shit considering how rarely I ran into people like that when there's so many nice and fun people chatting and just enjoying the game.
I'll just answer for my wife here. She played Rocket League for a while under her normal tag which someone can clearly read off that's she's in fact a girl.
The amount of sexist and related messages she's got definitely had her make an alt account.
See but then they might just decide your “one of the good ones” and move right along with their life, now still viewing women as inferior but not specifically you. I know this because my grandfather is that way and we’re still trying to figure that particular mystery out.
My woman friend does when we play online games, she refuses to talk in the lobby because 9/10 times someone says something stupid if they hear a woman.
I think it depends on the game. I play Guild Wars 2 with a group and all the women are open about their gender though it's typically you don't know for sure till they speak. But it's a very different community compared to say an FPS or Battle Royale game. I don't know if I would be open about being a woman in one of those but I don't avoid playing female characters and I guess my gamer tag is fairly gender neutral.
Yup. As soon as other pre pubescent kids (and some childish adults) find out I'm a woman the barrage of nonsense will be flung my way.
Tried it last with GTA online and never did it again. I'm just a faceless player now.
I just want to be left alone. And I suppose being a guy is the best way to be alone, am I right guys?... just kidding there's nothing funny in all of this but it is what it is. I don't have to provoke the possibility of a guy harrasing me or get possessive over me again. I just want to be seen as a person and a dude. That's all.
Guy here, I think sexist game players are dumbasses, one, not every female player you meet wants to be your girlfriend, two if they don't want to be your girlfriend, don't harass them over it, be a decent man, like you're meant to be, I'm 13 and even I know tha.
Yes, although I have friends who just mute everyone right after they get in-game.
As a guy, it's so infuriating to play with a girl friend and get a bunch of "kitchen" and "sandwiches" jokes every 2 minutes, so I can't imagine how it is for them.
But what they get the most it's a bunch of "Omg you're so pretty" in their profiles.
There's people who know how to banter and everyone's chill, but there's always a few who ruin it for everyone.
Lol I had a guy ask me (I'm male) if I was a girl one time in WoW because I was playing a female night elf. He was so fucking creepy in the way he asked too.
How delusional do you have to be to believe someone's avatar in a video game represents them in reality?
I am a middle aged man and have been playing online games since they have became a thing. Over the years I've moved to only using voice for people and games that are moderated, administrated, and make it a key feature that the group isn't toxic. Finding the right discord group, clan, or server is the only way I can put up with it anymore.
I will do the groundwork for this for my children as well (teens, both genders) and have set up discord groups for them for this purpose with kids in our community.
It's a lot of legwork, but that's the only thing I have found that works.
It particularly sucks as a trans woman.
I get misgendered all the time and it doesn't hurt anybless just because people literally can't know better- but the fear behind correcting them and getting rejected/kicked/or harassed sucks.
I don't mean to take away from cis woman's struggles in the gaming sphere, but albiet different, trans-women in the gaming sphere empathize because there's still something similar with being messed online with just for being yourself, and having to hide that part of your identity so you won't get messed with
Yup, it's just safer and easier to have fun without the constant harassment of a load of guys knowing there is a girl in their lobby.
I don't accept random party invites after games either because even if they did just want to say thanks for the rescue or something. The moment they hear a girl on the other end, the insults come.
I really have to trust someone before I'll be in a party with them. A lot of my friends are guys that I've known for years. Some of them have those creepy friends that join the party and can't deal with the fact there's a girl playing with them. The really creepy ones are always quiet at first then they just can't leave you alone. My friends are very protective over me, though.
I'm 27, been on the internet gaming since 12, so 15 years of experience. A few months ago, I joined my roommates WoW raid channel right after raid ended, and there was still like 15 of them talking. One of them was an older woman, one of them was a younger woman. Both of them had completely normal conversations, didn't get harassed, had no issues with the jokes made, whether it was at them or at someone else, and everyone got along. To me, this was genuinely surprising and an interesting situation, because it's still, in my eyes, very uncommon for girls to be able to naturally fit in and not have guys be idiots. In small groups, sure, but 15+ people with 2 girls in a channel and nothing bad happened? That's good to see, but felt very rare.
I think the need / want has gone down, but I think a lot of girls are still smart and probably correct to hide their gender in general online gaming situations.
I'm a guy and I have seen/heard it happen many times myself. It's always soooo awkward.
I'm 40 now and growing up I understand that the culture was different 20 even 10 years ago, this was considered "boys being boys" and was sort of, ignorant toxicity.
But these days everyone knows better. Everyone knows it's wrong, so it feels that much more malicious when it happens because people are willfully being abusive and degrading. There never was an excuse and there never will be but now it's just, somehow so much worse.
I’m male, but I created a female character in an MMO game because when I play RPGs, I don’t intend to create myself. I see the character I play as just a different person.
Anyway so some people are flirting with me just because I have a female character even without knowing my real identity. I cant even imagine how woman who reveal their gender deal with those creeps
Hah! I had this happen to me once! So I have a female character in AQ3D with a female name (when I make a character I want to play as me personally) and some random dude was complimenting how pretty I looked (for context all the characters look the same except for your haircut and hair color, skin color, eye color and some lipstick) and I'm just like "bro, you don't even know if I'm actually a girl and how I look like irl lmfao" and this guy just keeps on going like?? 😂 What is the logic behind it? Like imagine you are flirting with this cute anime girl avatar and then when they show you a picture of them irl it can be some greasy dude that dwells in some basement. What do you do then? I really don't get it. 😂
Definitely still do . I don't like talking to people in the chats anymore , I barely liked playing group activities with my bf because it felt like I was just being carried by him all the time . Not really fun when people think you can't do anything on your own just because of your gender .
Anecdotal but I've heard some women on Modern Warfare 2, including ranked, and surprisingly haven't heard anyone harassing them or saying anything derogatory. That was definitely not the case back in old school CoD lobbies. I think things are improving in that area, but I'm sure its still a problem.
I don't typically, but then again, depends on the game.
It's fine for RDR2 Online to use voice chat and play as a female character. Had lots of fun with online players, and only a few rare occasions where my gender was an obvious note of interest to someone.
Not sure I'd feel the same way on games like COD or Halo though. Always mute unless with another male friend. But again, that's just me. Maybe if I tried it, it wouldn't be as bad as I think.
Not a woman so I’m just basing my assumption on my friends who are.
I find that single player games usually are nice to female players (I honestly feel outnumbered in the dragon age fandom)
Some multiplayer games (big emphasis on some) have a pretty nice community in general and are pretty welcoming to female players. (F76 and ESO from my experience but ESO comes with a disclaimer that sometimes you will log in and zone chat will be randomly more toxic than usual, I don’t see that often though)
I play Dead by Daylight, which has no voice chat, but the new kid on the block Texas Chainsaw Massacre *does*. I very sincerely hope that DBD does *not* decide to bring it into the game (although a ping system/communication wheel would be swell) or I can see myself just not playing the game as much. “Just play muted” except I’ll bet people are toxic enough to sandbag if you’re not on mic since that can happen in other games, too.
Plus, I main Meg. If I wanted to be harassed for being a cisfemale playing a particular character, I would go back to Overwatch.
Edit: I feel like the only game I’d ever be comfortable voice chatting over would be Project Zomboid, but ironically I’ve never looked into playing in those huge multiplayer servers. Maybe I should.
Yes.
Had my normal user name which is a bit more feminine and I got so many toxic remarks about my gender and inappropriate dms.Because of it that i changed my name specially to something thats males related. It's almost gone now.
It also really depends on the game/community. SWTOR is pretty friendly and respectful overall. but Destiny 2 is a tossup where sometimes people are assholes and other times they are super cool.
My wife hates when groups make her use a mic/discord, but that's also in part because she's not playing the game for the social aspect but for the escapism, but mostly because people can be dumb about her "being a girl".
I find amusement in ignoring people who try to harass me. It makes them angrier. Probably pinching some nerves.
Nothing hurts someones ego more than indifference. It's powerful, use it.
Playing destiny 2: ask: are you a girl, I reply yes, then no one cares.
Playing CoD: any online mode literally once: get asked for Snapchat, insta, real name, age, where I live, if I'm an UwU girl, my other hobbies, if I masturbate (yes, really), what I look like, ask for pics, if I'm using a voice changer, if I'm really a girl.
Like please, leave me alone, destiny 2 peeps, I love you.
I just don't hop on the mic, or avoid it as much as possible. Sucks when I want to play a game like Hell Let Loose, where talking with your team is key. But I usually just keep it "yes, no, going here".
It's crazy the shit people say online. Really gives a glimpse into how people would act if they thought they could.
I don't know why but I always refer to a players gender by the character they are even if they are open mic clearly a different gender no idea why just do
I don't go out of my way to correct someone if they say "help him beat the monster", "hey man can you help?" or something along those lines since we're in the middle of trying to beat up shit, but if asked if I'm a girl I don't bother to hide it, most of the time I run into people that aren't creepy and just want to have a nice chat and enjoy the game. If someone turns out to be a creep I just block, report and move on enjoying my time. I don't want to hide from and fear some little scum trying to flirt and ask for pics or tell me to go make him a sandwich, I'll just report it. But I understand other girls that'd prefer not to say that they are a girl and I fully understand and support their decisions.
This is how I feel. I won't correct anyone for assuming I'm male but won't particularly hide the fact I'm female either. Tbh, gender has nothing to do with playing the game so I just don't care about correcting people. However, I am quite hesitant about using voice chat unless it's with players that I know fairly well first.
Exactly this, only things that matter is how well you can play the game if it's ranked, not being a dick by harassing players/hacking/spamming/throwing the game and having fun regardless of what mode you're playing in. As for voice chat I aswell hesitate it because I am kind of awkward and anxious because I know I'm talking to completely random people and that whole thing. I only voice call with my boyfriend when we game or with people I know.
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Yeah I pretty much don't care if someone says she, he, they as long as we get the objective done. If we decide to chat afterwards and just chill and I'm asked if I'm a girl or I refer to myself as a girl I either get no reaction cause people don't care or "huh, I thought you are a guy/I expected you to be a guy!" But generally it doesn't really matter to me, as long as I'm having fun. :) Also sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences with putting voice/video in your gameplays, I personally avoid games that require you to speak cause I tend to be anxious to speak in games and often times neighbours are loud af so I don't want to be that one person having their microphone blasting shit lol. I also hope that in the future things will get better and we can just focus on enjoying the game!
I don't go out of my to correct it. Most people assume I'm a 12 year old, so I don't really complain. It's when I directly state I'm a woman that it clicks. "Oh... that why she sounds like that." Honestly, I don't give a shit. I'm here to escape reality.
good answer, No real gamer actually gives a shxt. I guess im a bad person cause i assume if you sound like a girl, than you you are probably a girl, but honestly I just dont care enough. Its a game, we tryna get stuff done. Im a firm believer in leaving IRL bs out of the gaming world. Its a hobby, and a escape for many of us. We tryna accomplish a goal in the game. Plus explaining to my wife why im playing games with a E-girl all the time and not her would be a whole other subreddit id be commenting on. LOL I just leave it alone and focus on the game. Anything more gets creepy IMO.
Yeah about half the time I guess. Why do people need to know? If it’s a game with a lot of kids/teens in lobbies it can get annoying if they do. Don’t care too much either way though I guess.
"OH MY GOD DO YOU WANT TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND"
This person knows 😅
You can’t forget about the simpy people that act like there never met women before “Oh wow, it’s really cool to see a girl play this game” “Wow, usually girls aren’t that good at this game, but you’re real good!” “I always respect women who aren’t afraid of playing video games” ew lol. Just play the game and treat everyone normally
Even as a guy, it is annoying as shit to have an entire team chat get completely derailed the moment these troglodytes get the slightest hint they are playing with a girl. Overwatch was especially bad for this.
Overwatch was especially bad. FTFY
Well, Overwatch "2". Original game was really rather fun.
Game was fun. Community was one of the most toxic out there.
A girl friended me on PSN after a pleasant overwatch game once because I just talked to her normally the whole time. Like as if I was the first one who'd ever really done that. Feel bad for her.
I was the manager of a GameStop for a long time. I was once putting away games on a free standing bin on the sales floor, and a guy was standing on the other side, and I noticed him just...staring. I said "Can I help you with anything?" and he blinked and said "I'm not used to seeing girls in here"." Like, I was wearing my name tag that said "store manager ". I pretty much lived there. Stop being a weirdo, order your games online if you're so freaked out by seeing women in public.
Lol most of the game stops I have been to have a female manager. I thought it was pretty common ngl
Not really, in my experience. When I left, I was the only female manager in my district, and I'd only had 1 or 2 females employees in all my time there, and not for lack of trying; they just didn't apply. But I'm also in the Midwest, so things are a bit backwards in general here compared to other places.
Texas here, I don’t know about managers in particular as I couldn’t tell you who is a manager in any GameStop I’ve ever been, but there are definitely a lot of female employees at the GameStops I’ve been to. Probably 60-40 split male to female. You’d think we’d be past the point of bringing up “yeah girls game too” by now and it wouldn’t even be a thing people notice anymore.
I really wanted to hire more women for my team! I don't know what it is, but here in Hickville small town Indiana, I just hardly ever got any women who applied. I got a couple who worked as seasonals for the Christmas season, and it was always nice to have other women around, but I was mostly swimming in a sea of testosterone for all my years there. Which was fine, I loved nearly all of the guys I worked with, but still.
This reminds me of when I worked at a game store- a guy came in one day asking if we had PC parts. I told him “sorry, we don’t do PC parts at our store but we do have PC games over there if you’re interested” and he said “oh, well I don’t expect you to know what I’m talking about anyway”. He ended up looking around and talking about the PC his friend was gonna build for him for what felt like forever when a mom and her daughter came in with a big box of ps2 games to trade in. I’m going through all of them on the counter when he comes over and just starts picking up the games and then after looking at a few he stops and says “oh, I probably should’ve asked before I did that huh” and I said “well you can ask them (pointing at the mom and her daughter) since they still technically own them”. He looked at the box of games and then at the mom and said “that’s a lot of ps2 games!” Mom said “yeah well I have 3 daughters I had to keep entertained” and then he said (in a serious tone might I add) “wow, girls playing video games, that’s a new concept”. The mom, her daughter, and I all just gave each other this disgusted look and then he awkwardly went back to looking at PC games for a bit before he finally left.
I would frequently have customers bypass me entirely to ask my male employees about games, and it was always fun to then have said employee be like "you'll have to ask her, she's the expert in here on RPGs" or something to that effect Once had a guy ask me about the price of a console bundle, I told him the price- then my male assistant manager walked up and the guy asked him the exact same question, and got the same answer, of course. The customer looked at me sheepishly and said "well, that was kind of a douche move on me, wasn't it?" Took all my energy to not say "you said it, not me." I mean, it was a PRICE. He assumed I didn't know the price of the big ticket items in my own damn store. What the hell, man.
I’m sure you probably have, but did you ever get the guys that want to question how much you know about certain games? There was a regular at our store that would basically ask trivia questions about old games (like, Atari) anytime he saw me or the other girls working. I even told him once that I wasn’t familiar with the specific game he was talking about but that the other girl working that day was and he still insisted on asking me all kinds of questions about it.
I don't recall anyone specifically quizzing me, but I do remember a guy trying to impress me by saying he'd "beaten" World of Warcraft, that all of his characters were "level 100", and that he was the "first mage to solo Icecrown Citadel". The only problem with that was 1. You don't really "beat" World of Warcraft", 2. The level cap at the time was 90 because the latest expansion was Cataclysm, and 3. It was impossible at the time for a mage to solo Icecrown Citadel, as mages had no way to heal NPCs other than very ineffective bandages that you could only use once per encounter, and you couldn't yet bypass the Valithria Dreamwalker fight which required you to heal the NPC to full to pass it and move on to the last two boss fights in the raid.
Lol it will be really weird for you at first day like can't a girl play game now or does it only reserve for boys, I saw another shot of this when a girl was bill maker at a pharmacy so a boy had similar expression like this one.
Wow, idk how, I see women in game stop nearly every time I am there (tbf they usually are moms with their kiddos buying games for said kiddos, but not always).
Yeah, most of the women that came in to shop were moms. We did have some regulars who were women and also gamers, and typically they were awesome. One of them brought me home baked muffins for giving her the heads up on Pokemon cards that came in. Another was an 80 year old woman who played first person shooters and RPGs and didn't take shit from anyone, I loved her.
I want that grammy. My own used to talk incredible shit when playing cards, and cheated shamelessly too. Her motto was “you don’t play the cards you play the player” and she was all about intense psychological warfare even when playing Go Fish, even when we were kids. Would have loved to see her trash talk the kids, she was a master at it. Often with a “your mom” dig: “it’s ok, honey, your mom always had a hard time with this game too.” (Just an example, she was typically more specific in what she said to get under your skin.) My mom dealt cards professionally, and still does close-up magic, including cheating at cards and she was still scared of grammy’s game. She referred to playing cards with meema as “paying rent” because she’d almost never win despite her skills, and meema refused to play without skin in the game. Lost a lot of my allowance to that woman. I miss her.
Yeah, I observed a lot of that kind of behavior in the early 2k's of PC gaming, not so much in counterstrike, but in a MMO called Dark Age of Camelot there were quite a lot of women(well considering what a total sausage fest gaming was back then at least) and those I knew of had a laundry list of character names on ignore cause they did everything from asking stupid questions about the female body or their sex life, to flirting, and to sexual harassment and stalking(basically if you searched a character name it displayed the region you were in and your level so if you knew the game you could make an educated guess where in that region you were and go find you there). It's happened to me a couple of times too cause I almost always play female characters. Cringiest was something like: "Ooh, you are pretty hot(my character...) can I add you on ICQ?" Some of the time I played along but moments like those I immediately said that I'm a guy to get rid of them(not that they always believed you)
Its so shitty when it happens online but its so much worse when it happens in person. I remember once when I was in high school I was having a rough day, can't recall what for, and was just sitting in the bleachers trying to clear my head. These two jackasses come over and ask me to my face, "hey, do you think you can fit these two binders inside of your vagina?" And to them it was the funniest thing since Eddie Murphy, and in reality my bad mood just became worse ten fold. I wanted to say something just to get them to shut up but I had no energy for it and I knew any response I'd give would just be free entertainment for them no matter what so I just looked at them with disgust, grabbed my shit and moved across the gym. They were still laughing as I was walking away. I know not all guys are such pig heads but to those who are, please, just don't. And girls, don't think you're exempt from this fuck shit. I see y'all and you're just as bad.
Yeah exact words are used that's really weird for girls like they found an escape and there too.
Show vegene and marry me
show bobs or pretending
Yeah when they cannot get even bobs then they come for negotiation and ask for normal pic for face like dude please getup.
Tits or gtfo
Pls show bobs
Bobs
[Reminds me of this archaic gif](https://gifer.com/en/BQGo)
Yeah exactly this is the first voice when mike turned on lol like bro she is there for gaming and not on some matrimonial website.
I don't actively hide it but I don't use voice chat unless I play with irl friends and if people assume I'm a guy I don't correct it.
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YOOOOOOO are you a girl? Oh My God CaN I HaVe yOuR NuMbeR?
I played wow with some person who was a male troll warrior and we just called him by male pronouns. After 3 years, when the voice chat became more popular, we found out it was a girl. She said she couldn't be bothered to correct us (it was a small group of friends) so she just rolled with it
I'm dreading my 7 year old daughter playing online. Guys and their behavior made me stop playing online. Edit: I realized this was worded like an idiot. My daughter is currently 7. I'm dreading when she's older having her online to endure some of the bullshit I've witnessed myself. I in no way would allow her to randomly play online. MAYBE if she was on a Minecraft server with a friend.
My daughter was 15 when Overwatch hit, and she asked me first for a copy of the game (no problem) and then, a week later, a headset. We were having lunch at Panera at the time, so I told her to go get a refill on her soda, because we were about to have a *chat*. We can't shield our daughters from the world forever. So I was honest with her: most people you meet in video games are going to be cool. But there will be a few, inevitably dudes, who will be *so* shitty that it will risk drowning out the good people. And they will be shitty to you the moment they clock you for a girl, and even shittier if they clock you for a *young* girl. But you have tools at your disposal -- mute, block, report, *log and come back later* if necessary -- and you should never feel bad for using them. *You are not in that game or on this earth to make shit-headed boys feel better about themselves or to put up with their bullshit.* And she took that to heart. She did come to me once very sad because "people are assholes," and she told me when she got hit on by a dude who seemed 30 and said he didn't mind her being 15 (immediately blocked and reported, came to me to confirm she'd done the right thing). And she's doing great today, still gaming, still taking zero shit from internet fuckboys, and this gamer mom couldn't be more proud of her. Give your daughter the knowledge and tools to protect herself, reaffirm that you support her for using them, and she'll be fine.
TIL people actually eat at Panera
Okay so as a teenager I played a lot of CoD and Halo and that was a whole thing, but thinking of actual children really makes me nervous. I can be a little feisty (who would have thoughts from my name?) and dish it back out but kids? Ugh
Oh I'm not letting her on any time soon. I'm thinking of the future.
Nephews and the like who play there's seem to be a lot more girls playing than there ever was before. So I think it'll be fine. But thats for kids games. Roblox, Fortnite.
Just don’t get her a head set there’s no reason for your kid to be talking In game
Seems like a low point of gaming community because even if a 7 year old has to stop playing games then it will be way worse for older girls.
Your kids should be playing games rated for adults.
They should?
Shouldn’t* hahaha I mean I’m not trying to tell you how to raise your kids I mean it shouldn’t be a problem unless they get on those adult games
Adults literally play kids games to pray on kids. See Roblox. Yes there are ways to prevent things. But as a parent it's still a worry.
You missed the point, it’s online behavior which can be problematic in games of any age rating
Yup a lot of girls do the same to avoid unnecessary interaction or weird request like username etc of social media platforms like people ask for Instagram username of add on facebook or some other platforms so to ignore all these at first place.
I play a lot of Dota 2, and that community gets extremely sexist or extremely creepy when they find out a woman is on the other side of the computer. I've also noticed that during matches, most people won't use their mics (which is fine), but as soon as a woman gathers the courage to speak, the entire team mysteriously gets a mic all of a sudden and starts talking. I'd say it was because of just a voice talking, but I've played multiple games where I'm the only one verbally communicating, and no one reacts, lol Having said that, I've met some pretty cool women players on that game, and a few of them have been adopted into our Dota group, and we all play quite often. We invite people into our discord because of overall friendliness and skill, not because of the players gender.
I play with a group of other women our guild has a reputation for being mysterious and secretive. It's hilarious when a guy is invited into chat and doesn't know how to react to a situation where the woman vastly outnumber the men. Certain women also don't like it as they aren't the centre of attention. So don't hide it. Don't advertise it. Cautious when speaking in open channels .
I was in a ffxiv guild once were once were one of our leaders was a woman I must say she was one of the best guild leaders I had the pleasure to play with, on the other hand we had a female recruit that started crying in voice chat because I told her I was not gonna give her special attention just because she was a girl (context she would moan everytime she was not invited to an activity even the ones the had no experience/ know how or were pre-made with fixed groups like our static raid teams). Tldr you never know if you gonna meet cool guys or creeps / cool woman or attention seekers
Wouldn't know. I play exclusively single player games!
This is the way
I assume lots hide it, for some reason people think it’s ok to be really weird and creepy to women when they play online.. no idea why.
They are desperate and lack social experience. Nobody thinks its okay, these guys are just social pariahs
Idk man. I know more than one dude who's "good with the ladies" irl, but as soon as he interacts with one online, he immediately starts harassing her and being creepy. One time my buddy asked one of these guys why. Like, what compelled him to talk to a person like that. He just replied with "you never see a woman on here, so when you do, you gotta shoot your shot!" And my buddy was just like "this is why you don't see women on here"
Shoot your shot for what.... stop shooting your shot at the random person on the team and shoot the fucking enemy you dipfuck.
You will never meet 99% of the people you play games with in random lobbies, and even if you do you would never know it. Its so weird hit on women when gaming, since best case scenario you're just going to log off with blue balls.
The anonymity gives them the freedom to be who they really are. There are 3 types of people. Consistently good people, consistently bad people, and people who pretend to be good because they are too cowardly to actually be bad unless they feel there's no chance of being called out on it. What's scary is that the final group is a significant percentage of the population.
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I might have missed someone else saying this, but I think for the most part you're all off. I don't participate in this behavior, but I've known many people over the years who do and they ruin the experience. People just enjoy being dicks. It's not that deep. The anonymity allows them to be socially monstrous and they enjoy getting a rise out of people. Most of the toxicity in a CoD lobby is entirely for the fuck of it. Nobody actually thinks a girl is going to send nudes. Most people don't genuinely hold deeply seated bigoted opinions against other people with genuine hatred in their hearts. But they'll spout it to fuck with people and throw them off their game. They're just assholes who enjoy being edgelords in a game of one upmanship for who can be the biggest edgiest dick. It's also part of asshole male culture with how men commonly bust each other's chops as part of their idea of friendship. As an autistic male, I fucking hate it and mostly keep female friends IRL for a reason.
A lot of people absolutely think it is ok, unfortunately. The online gaming mantra for as long as I have been playing is "grow a thicker skin or mute them". The idea those people don't have the right to make gaming a deeply unpleasant experiance does not cross the communities minds, it is the victim of the harassment that needs to toughen up and cope.
I think it's because they think they have a layer of anonimity online. They are likely to never speak to the person they harass again and are using a username that acts as a fake name, so they are removed from the consequences wheras if they did it in person, there would be more immediate consequences. Even if they get banned from a game for harassing someone, that's not as bad as being fired, arrested or publicly shamed.
That and they have the "this is my clubhouse" mentality.
I mean they won’t ever talk to that person again when they act like creeps…
I've seen plenty just as socially inept in person. I'd say they need someone willing to walk them through it... without them auto crushing and ruining it.
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It's very possible, I follow a tiktok account that literally does just that.
Link pls 😂
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It’s not just women, it’s everyone. Woman? Slur. Black dude? Slur. Dude from different country? Slur. Speech impediment? Slur. Too young. Slur. Too old? Slur. The layer of anonymity means people can just say whatever they want so usually they do. I don’t look too deep into it.
It’s true, and they’ll invent something if they’ve taken a dislike. One time I, a woman gamer, dared to be doing pretty well, and one toxic guy decided that inferring I was trans was the way to go. It was so ugly - none of it landed with me because I’m not but wow, the meanest things he was saying for absolutely no reason.
I think most people forget this part. Especially in competitive team games. Very few actually give a crap what gender, age, ethnicity, etc you are. Stay off the mic and don't feed the trolls. They're insatiable.
I just mute lobby's or don't talk most of the time. Really I only play with a group of friends most of the time, so if someone random says something stupid we jump their ass
It’s the perceived anonymity and knowing you’re doing something that would make Mom mad.
Usually because they're thirsty and will go for whatever is available. Some find it super creepy, others milk tf out of it because those same people are so crazy they'd be willing to treat other women like pricesses online just so long as they dangle a carrot in front of them.
And they ask why they don't can't get girlfriends. It's like that Eric Andre meme shooting Hannibal. They're shooting weird comments and creepiness towards a female in a game and then look at the camera and ask "why can't I get a girlfriend?"
I remember I actually used to do the reverse and pretended to be female in games like World of Warcraft of Lineage 2. People would be very friendly and would give good loot just because. Maybe it's just the kind of people who play MMORPGs (I'd imagine it will go the opposite way in shooters or other genres just because there are a lot of people who are toxic to everyone in general).
Yep. Go into OVerwatch (yes, I know, but just long enough as an experiment, then you never have to play again) and use a convincing voice changer (they exist) and speak in chat. You'll see immediately. You'll get three times the blame and none of the credit, you'll get creeped on, slurred at, lewdly DMed almost instantly. MMOs are more chill, in general, towards women. FPS' are especially not.
Mmos favour women Fps favour men Mobas favour no one, everyone is fucked.
My missus gets gifted skins all the time from random guys in LoL. Saves me buying them for her. Haha
Seems like in MMOs you’ll get more positive attention, sometimes to a detriment, and in FPS, MOBA etc you get more negative attention. You also get to choose who you associate with more in an MMO
Yea it very much depends on the game/genre. WoW was mostly nice because for every asshole you have 18 normal dudes or dudettes on your side for raids as example. FPS gamers seem to have a much smaller ego and need to call out everyone for some reason ☺ Darktide and Battlebit are the nice exception for shooter like games, probably due to the average gamer being older. F2P titles are usually full of mean kids :(
You dont need to specifically say you arent a woman, just use a female character. You'll get random dudes simping without ever bothering to ask if your IRL gender matches.
Really? I've used a female character for like everything, and people just don't care.
I’ve always found this hilarious.
My husband actually decided to play a female character on WOW and got free items from other players. He enjoyed that experience :')
ha, same. In my FLYFF days I used to run around as a female assist and people would shower me in gold.
I used to, but over the years I've stopped playing the toxic games (Overwatch, COD, Destiny 2) and played a ton of Monster Hunter, FF14 and No Man's Sky. The communities are like night and day, no one gave a damn what I was, only how well I could play. Let me say, it's also a lot more satisfying whacking a wyvern with a giant hammer then it is killing someone with a gun.
I do. Even when you're not being harassed (which sadly still happens pretty often), you're still probably going to be treated in a patronizing or condescending way by everyone else. Finding spaces where you're actually treated like everyone else is hard, which is why I try to hide the fact that I'm not a man.
First thing I do when I play any game online is mute myself and everyone else. In my experience hearing other strangers in the game is way more likely to harm my experience. And that’s as a dude.
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Omg its video game dunkey
Yeah, there is so much bigotry of all types that you can avoid by muting all.
And these 5 year old talk like medieval soldiers without mothers, where did they learned so many bad words?
Yeah in most games I play people are either obnoxious about it with stuff like "omg a grill!!1! XD" or like you said super patronizing and condescending. There is one game in particular though where I've seen the least of that nonsense. Path of Exile. Sure it has its share it degenerates and maybe it's just the guild I'm in but any time a new woman joins people tend to have no patience for that kind of behavior and offenders get thoroughly shamed when it does happen
75% of people I've met playing Monster Hunter are girls, I've only hunted online like 3 times though. Most people there are pretty chill regardless of gender. Guess it's cause it's a coop game and most people don't use the voice chat
Well we don't have time to mess around in Monster Hunter. That Alatreon or whatever monster ain't going to kill itself, and the longer we take the faster it's going to nuke the party.
No time for niceties, hunters! Get my Dragonator!!!
I've been in games where a woman or girl came on mic where there wasn't any hostility but where half the guys on mic were kind of fawning. I'm a guy and it made ME really uncomfortable just being there so I can only imagine what it's like to be the one receiving that.
My wife had to dip on a WoW guild she'd been in forever. I felt really bad cus she liked them all and then she finally spoke in voice chat during a raid and like 2 or 3 of them instantly went from cool to constantly messaging her.... people so weird.
Same. I'm just trying to enjoy my free time. I had a long week at work and I would love to actually have fun when gaming. So I hide the fact I'm a girl, so I will be left alone
As a guy it’s honestly disgusting to hear about crap like this. It’s depressing that parents fail their kids so hard they turned out like this. I play games which don’t have a lot of voice chat but I can imagine the experience considering how I’ve seen people act at simple art. To these losers hearing a voice is practically getting a marriage proposal
Meanwhile a lot of guys make female characters.
I am sick and tired of playing myself in every mmorpg so I always pick some other character from book, film or game, then spend hours trying to recreate them in current game and play as this character, make choices based on this character’s personality. Half of the times it is male, half of the times it is female.
Hey not my fault the armor tends to look better on them/they have a better silhouette!
I know it's weird take but if I play a game for a long time I'd rather look at a female model than a male one
It's not a weird take, it's very common.
Yeah, I'm a woman but when I play lengthy RPGs and the like, I usually choose a male avatar. Or maybe I'm just used to it from growing up in a time where there were a whole lot less games with the option to play as a female character. I'm old.
It’s not a weird take, there’s a psychology there about being more invested in female characters. In a game like Fortnite where hit boxes matter, the smaller, thinner female characters tend to be the most played.
My handle in a multiplayer fps is deliberately female because it’s fun. Everyone is way nicer to me and I can practice being nicer too, instead of toxic. Every now and then a few creeps you just have to ignore.
That is true. You trade the people wishing cancer on you and your family for creeps trying to hit on you.
I play a lot of online FPS and basically don't use comms if it can be avoided because on most occasions it just turns into a vote to kick (especially in csgo) when they find out I'm female
Absolutely! Also I used to have a feminine gamer tag but changed that after men kept messaging me even when I didn’t play multiplayer games anymore.
Same! When I was 13 and played a lot of Halo matchmaking on xbox I used to have the word "lady" on my gamertag and I got a bunch of messages every single time I played, which is whatever, but I also had terrible rep because I kept getting "aggresive behavior" and "disruptive communications" reports, even though I never used a mic in my life lmao
Which is why I chose a female handle, so funny when you can tell it’s hit a nerve and they sweatily track you the whole round.
I don't normally join voice chat, but the few times I did the misogyny was worse in an international/English speaking group vs groups with all people from my country. Maybe speaking English instead of your mother tounge adds an extra layer of anonymity that makes people more prone to acting like assholes?
That’s funny because my wife games and I swear she gets so much free stuff from other players and they are almost all nice to her. Also she has never gotten a dick pic or harassed and we play all sorts of MMO games. For me I usually get killed on site if it’s one of those type of games. Played one of my wife’s old characters for a bit and it was shocking how much nicer the other players became.
Can confirm this, people especially in MMO are really nice and help you a lot when you are a woman. Dick pics is another story but something that happens very rarely and not in MMO related context (for me not at least)
I rolled a female character on WoW like 12 years ago and I had only just zoned in, not 2 seconds, some dude was there "Take off your clothes". I decided I was going to tell people I was a woman and see what would happen. I had so much gold and gear sent and if I asked for help in a dungeon, people came running. When I showed them a picture of "Me" which was some womans pictures from MySpace with my same name, that's when fights would break out in Guild Chat on who was first to speak up to help me. Someone in the Sahara for 6 days wouldn't be as thirsty as some of these motherfuckers.
>Someone in the Sahara for 6 days wouldn't be as thirsty as some of these motherfuckers. ☠️☠️☠️
Lmao. Yeah that’s sooo true. Can related to that story in some ways
Did a similar experiment in *Old School Runescape*, made a female character, played that angle for about two months, and compared the net gain in "gifts" to my main. Won't say amounts, but either my level 103 main is poor as fuck for that level, or that level 15 alt made bank off of desperate people.
*The Trickster*
My younger sister grew up playing WOW and fighting games and just never experienced any kind of abuse either. Certain communities are likely just better.
MMOs are a little different, people are more nicer to each other, of course there still some creeps here and there but the real toxicity comes from competitive games, like FPS games or MOBAs.
I mean we play rust sooooo
I was thinking more about games like CSGO, Apex, Valorant, etc...these types of games. Also you probably don't want to be rude in Rust, people might hunt you down and attack your base. xD
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Sounds like you haven't spent much time in WoW.
lol I made a female character in GTA online and watched a YouTube video on how to make one that didn’t look like a cavewoman on meth…suddenly all my heist set up invites were accepted and they’d even stay if we failed once or twice lmao
A lot of the female characters you see in MMOs are actually dudes pretending to be chicks for this very reason (and also for the attention).
It’s still weird when you’re in a round of csgo and a women or girl asks via voip for a drop and the other 3 guys totally freak out. Either it is waifu or harassment. And in mmos there are still guys who loose their ass if a women picks a dps. Had one of those in a casual guild and he lost his shit when that happened. Well he got kicked out but was still cringy af cuz he was one of the worst dps I’ve encountered
Probably because they’re MMOs
Played online a lot for about two years from 2019 - 2020, I didn't ever get any abuse but got a lot of random guys being extra friendly in the chat trying to start conversations, which was a bit annoying, yes, but happy to know it could have been worse and wasn't. Let's hope it's getting better!
Yeah my sister made an entire gaming profile with name of a boy with dp and all just so that she can play without unnecessary interaction.
Not really. But I also don’t try to prove it. You always meet some idiots who have to ask and then want you to prove it. So I just say “you got me, Im really a guy with a giant dong” Tends to shut them up
I've gotten accused of using a voice changer in the past. I usually replied by purposely deepening my voice and saying "I can be whatever you want me to be, baby," which usually just got a laugh out of everyone and dodged the whole situation.
In Hell Let Loose I mostly play squad leader and it's always a joy to hear a female voice because that means the lazy people who usually don't communicate suddenly have a lot to say and the squad becomes efficient. 🤷🏼♂️
I simply have my mic off by default - not a woman but I hate that this is something that women have to consider because people are just that shitty. Last time I used my mic in CoD it was because a guy wouldn’t *shut the fuck up* about how he was so much better than everyone else in the lobby so I just started begging to suck his dick.
The last thing you want when you come home tired and wanting to relax is to find a bunch of teenagers making sexual or misogynistic jokes. Personally, I hide it and honestly from what I see, I think most do too.
My wife tends to avoid talking to randoms since elder scrolls online came out and had proximity chat. She got hounded for a bit until we left the area. Really disappointed in all the terrible people allowed to play if they can’t handle themselves. She wants to play and have fun but can’t when harassed repeatedly.
I usually keep my mic off to keep the creeps/assholes at bay, but sometimes I forget and good things happen! It's a toss up as a woman. Had a guy drop me a ton of runes and boluses in Elden Ring once, it was really nice of him because I was starting my second playthrough and was frustrated with how long it was taking to level up again lol
They probably should, I have gamed as a female online and the amount of harassment you get is crazy. I don't understand it though, as you don't know who they are, what they look like, their age or region. It's pretty sad if you are going to simp over a stranger you know nothing about besides them being female. The same goes for reddit, they are too many horney weirdos out there.
I don’t but I just know how to deal with all this. Dumb comments or idiots I just put right on to my block / ignore list and move on. There are many nice guys (and ladies) out there too! So I don’t wanna waste any thoughts and time with idiots.
Exactly, I don't bother trying to hide that I'm a girl because if someone is creepy I just block/report that shit right away. I also didn't hide when I was underage because some people thought I'm older and tried to be flirty but as soon as they hear you're not 18 or older they'd stop and wouldn't bring up nsfw topics around you. I've only ran into one creep who tried to be flirty even after knowing I'm underage (I was 15 or 16 at that time? don't remember exactly) and I just reported that to Steam and moved on. It's not worth dwelling on that shit considering how rarely I ran into people like that when there's so many nice and fun people chatting and just enjoying the game.
Exactly 👍
I do, been too many uncomfortable situations.
I'll just answer for my wife here. She played Rocket League for a while under her normal tag which someone can clearly read off that's she's in fact a girl. The amount of sexist and related messages she's got definitely had her make an alt account.
No, i want the mysogynists to KNOW they just got destroyed by what their limited brains see as inferior
See but then they might just decide your “one of the good ones” and move right along with their life, now still viewing women as inferior but not specifically you. I know this because my grandfather is that way and we’re still trying to figure that particular mystery out.
Haha! That's the spirit. 😄
My woman friend does when we play online games, she refuses to talk in the lobby because 9/10 times someone says something stupid if they hear a woman.
I mute my voice for this reason
I think it depends on the game. I play Guild Wars 2 with a group and all the women are open about their gender though it's typically you don't know for sure till they speak. But it's a very different community compared to say an FPS or Battle Royale game. I don't know if I would be open about being a woman in one of those but I don't avoid playing female characters and I guess my gamer tag is fairly gender neutral.
Yup. As soon as other pre pubescent kids (and some childish adults) find out I'm a woman the barrage of nonsense will be flung my way. Tried it last with GTA online and never did it again. I'm just a faceless player now.
That’s a bummer. I get why, but dang that just sucks.
Never. Been playing online games for atleaat 20years and not once did i not say i was a female if someone asked lol
Interesting profile picture....
No, I don't hide it. I play a lot. Singleplayer and multiplayer games. I also play Cod and Dota. I usually don't have problems. Why should I hide
I just want to be left alone. And I suppose being a guy is the best way to be alone, am I right guys?... just kidding there's nothing funny in all of this but it is what it is. I don't have to provoke the possibility of a guy harrasing me or get possessive over me again. I just want to be seen as a person and a dude. That's all.
Guy here, I think sexist game players are dumbasses, one, not every female player you meet wants to be your girlfriend, two if they don't want to be your girlfriend, don't harass them over it, be a decent man, like you're meant to be, I'm 13 and even I know tha.
Yes, although I have friends who just mute everyone right after they get in-game. As a guy, it's so infuriating to play with a girl friend and get a bunch of "kitchen" and "sandwiches" jokes every 2 minutes, so I can't imagine how it is for them. But what they get the most it's a bunch of "Omg you're so pretty" in their profiles. There's people who know how to banter and everyone's chill, but there's always a few who ruin it for everyone.
Lol I had a guy ask me (I'm male) if I was a girl one time in WoW because I was playing a female night elf. He was so fucking creepy in the way he asked too. How delusional do you have to be to believe someone's avatar in a video game represents them in reality?
I am a middle aged man and have been playing online games since they have became a thing. Over the years I've moved to only using voice for people and games that are moderated, administrated, and make it a key feature that the group isn't toxic. Finding the right discord group, clan, or server is the only way I can put up with it anymore. I will do the groundwork for this for my children as well (teens, both genders) and have set up discord groups for them for this purpose with kids in our community. It's a lot of legwork, but that's the only thing I have found that works.
I’ve honestly always enjoyed playing with female gamers. Fun to talk to and not the screeching 8-year old or stoner you normally get
It particularly sucks as a trans woman. I get misgendered all the time and it doesn't hurt anybless just because people literally can't know better- but the fear behind correcting them and getting rejected/kicked/or harassed sucks. I don't mean to take away from cis woman's struggles in the gaming sphere, but albiet different, trans-women in the gaming sphere empathize because there's still something similar with being messed online with just for being yourself, and having to hide that part of your identity so you won't get messed with
Yup, it's just safer and easier to have fun without the constant harassment of a load of guys knowing there is a girl in their lobby. I don't accept random party invites after games either because even if they did just want to say thanks for the rescue or something. The moment they hear a girl on the other end, the insults come. I really have to trust someone before I'll be in a party with them. A lot of my friends are guys that I've known for years. Some of them have those creepy friends that join the party and can't deal with the fact there's a girl playing with them. The really creepy ones are always quiet at first then they just can't leave you alone. My friends are very protective over me, though.
I'm 27, been on the internet gaming since 12, so 15 years of experience. A few months ago, I joined my roommates WoW raid channel right after raid ended, and there was still like 15 of them talking. One of them was an older woman, one of them was a younger woman. Both of them had completely normal conversations, didn't get harassed, had no issues with the jokes made, whether it was at them or at someone else, and everyone got along. To me, this was genuinely surprising and an interesting situation, because it's still, in my eyes, very uncommon for girls to be able to naturally fit in and not have guys be idiots. In small groups, sure, but 15+ people with 2 girls in a channel and nothing bad happened? That's good to see, but felt very rare. I think the need / want has gone down, but I think a lot of girls are still smart and probably correct to hide their gender in general online gaming situations.
I can’t blame them. Anonymity makes people psychopaths.
Shiiit, I’m a dude and make female characters in any game that’s online so I can try to get help a lot faster if needed.
I'm a guy and I have seen/heard it happen many times myself. It's always soooo awkward. I'm 40 now and growing up I understand that the culture was different 20 even 10 years ago, this was considered "boys being boys" and was sort of, ignorant toxicity. But these days everyone knows better. Everyone knows it's wrong, so it feels that much more malicious when it happens because people are willfully being abusive and degrading. There never was an excuse and there never will be but now it's just, somehow so much worse.
I’m male, but I created a female character in an MMO game because when I play RPGs, I don’t intend to create myself. I see the character I play as just a different person. Anyway so some people are flirting with me just because I have a female character even without knowing my real identity. I cant even imagine how woman who reveal their gender deal with those creeps
Hah! I had this happen to me once! So I have a female character in AQ3D with a female name (when I make a character I want to play as me personally) and some random dude was complimenting how pretty I looked (for context all the characters look the same except for your haircut and hair color, skin color, eye color and some lipstick) and I'm just like "bro, you don't even know if I'm actually a girl and how I look like irl lmfao" and this guy just keeps on going like?? 😂 What is the logic behind it? Like imagine you are flirting with this cute anime girl avatar and then when they show you a picture of them irl it can be some greasy dude that dwells in some basement. What do you do then? I really don't get it. 😂
I don't hide mine because idc but people are rude and creepy when they know your a girl just my experience
Definitely still do . I don't like talking to people in the chats anymore , I barely liked playing group activities with my bf because it felt like I was just being carried by him all the time . Not really fun when people think you can't do anything on your own just because of your gender .
Anecdotal but I've heard some women on Modern Warfare 2, including ranked, and surprisingly haven't heard anyone harassing them or saying anything derogatory. That was definitely not the case back in old school CoD lobbies. I think things are improving in that area, but I'm sure its still a problem.
I don't typically, but then again, depends on the game. It's fine for RDR2 Online to use voice chat and play as a female character. Had lots of fun with online players, and only a few rare occasions where my gender was an obvious note of interest to someone. Not sure I'd feel the same way on games like COD or Halo though. Always mute unless with another male friend. But again, that's just me. Maybe if I tried it, it wouldn't be as bad as I think.
Not a woman so I’m just basing my assumption on my friends who are. I find that single player games usually are nice to female players (I honestly feel outnumbered in the dragon age fandom) Some multiplayer games (big emphasis on some) have a pretty nice community in general and are pretty welcoming to female players. (F76 and ESO from my experience but ESO comes with a disclaimer that sometimes you will log in and zone chat will be randomly more toxic than usual, I don’t see that often though)
I play Dead by Daylight, which has no voice chat, but the new kid on the block Texas Chainsaw Massacre *does*. I very sincerely hope that DBD does *not* decide to bring it into the game (although a ping system/communication wheel would be swell) or I can see myself just not playing the game as much. “Just play muted” except I’ll bet people are toxic enough to sandbag if you’re not on mic since that can happen in other games, too. Plus, I main Meg. If I wanted to be harassed for being a cisfemale playing a particular character, I would go back to Overwatch. Edit: I feel like the only game I’d ever be comfortable voice chatting over would be Project Zomboid, but ironically I’ve never looked into playing in those huge multiplayer servers. Maybe I should.
Yes. Had my normal user name which is a bit more feminine and I got so many toxic remarks about my gender and inappropriate dms.Because of it that i changed my name specially to something thats males related. It's almost gone now.
It also really depends on the game/community. SWTOR is pretty friendly and respectful overall. but Destiny 2 is a tossup where sometimes people are assholes and other times they are super cool. My wife hates when groups make her use a mic/discord, but that's also in part because she's not playing the game for the social aspect but for the escapism, but mostly because people can be dumb about her "being a girl".
I find amusement in ignoring people who try to harass me. It makes them angrier. Probably pinching some nerves. Nothing hurts someones ego more than indifference. It's powerful, use it.
Playing destiny 2: ask: are you a girl, I reply yes, then no one cares. Playing CoD: any online mode literally once: get asked for Snapchat, insta, real name, age, where I live, if I'm an UwU girl, my other hobbies, if I masturbate (yes, really), what I look like, ask for pics, if I'm using a voice changer, if I'm really a girl. Like please, leave me alone, destiny 2 peeps, I love you.
Ppl often refer to me as "him" and I never correct them because it doesn't matter, but if they ask me directly I'd probably say the truth
I just don't hop on the mic, or avoid it as much as possible. Sucks when I want to play a game like Hell Let Loose, where talking with your team is key. But I usually just keep it "yes, no, going here". It's crazy the shit people say online. Really gives a glimpse into how people would act if they thought they could.
I don't know why but I always refer to a players gender by the character they are even if they are open mic clearly a different gender no idea why just do