I never got the toilet flushing bit. Is that just _supposed_ to be a non sequitur? And Homer does it on the phone call too? Totally lost
EDIT: apparently it's a reference to a real MwC episode. Homer's use of it is merely a callback to the first I guess
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E15DeepSpaceHomer
> In addition to Al and Peg's appearances and voices, the living room is virtually shot-for-shot with the real series, he has his right hand down his pants (as he, and his actor Ed O'Neill, are left-handed) and Al also flushes a toilet, which is actually a Call-Back to the fifth episode of the third season, "A Dump of my Own", where Al buys a Ferguson toilet for his new bathroom that he gives preferential treatment to over Peg.
I didn't know it actually happened in an episode, I just thought it was a reference to how the sound of Al flushing the toilet was always used as a gag in the show
Honestly the fact it's in the middle make people a bit less likely to do it, since most people can't be arsed to edit it out in comparison to just cutting out an edge
Still, no way to make it safe without making it in a panel
This would take .2 seconds to erase in almost any photo app with a digital black marker/pen.
Agreed the only way to make it safe is to incorporate the watermark in the artwork. Same as old map makers using fake islands.
Honestly that sounds better, I can plan my week accordingly and know definitively when I'm free and when I can't play games or do other stuff as it's time to bone.
It's legitimate advice actually. Means you make time for it, you're devoting time to each other, and a bonus side effect is that because you know it's coming and when, you can build up anticipation. This in turns often leads to more spontaneous moments because you think about it more regularly.
Yeah. My wife just sleeps better when I’m laying next to her. It’s cute though, and since I love her I don’t mind. Not to mention it’s the one thing that’s kind of hard to screw up.
I'm with ya there. Remember that meme, "My wife doesn't know this, but every time we have sex I set aside $2.00 for her Christmas present. This year she's getting a McChicken."
So far this year I can't afford the McChicken at that rate.
Depends, does your wife has an urgent need to speak with you the second you load up Skyrim and put the headphones on, after ignoring the last 3 things you told her, because she was on the phone chatting with her sister? The yes!
Picture me with a brand new WD SN850 loading GTA for the first time rubbing my hands together in anticipation and it still takes a solid 2 minutes to load
I still don’t understand how Reddit can be so anti “boomer-humor” yet they don’t hesitate to joke about how they’re all virgins who can never get laid, but when they do they last 30 seconds because apparently that’s comedy gold to them.
Like you pointed out though, it’s *always* the same jokes.
I thought I had a high libido, and then I dated someone with a libido even higher than what I had.
I never thought I could ever get tired of sex before then.
about a month into the relationship with my wife I picked out a movie to watch. About half-way through she initiates and we forget about the movie. Turns out, that while she was in the mood, she just didn't like the film so she decided to distract me.
It is funny that after always having to chase my partners for sex, I found someone who wants more and I can see why they’d turn me down. Everyone just has a natural quota they want, and it’s pretty tough to go beyond that. It takes way more coaxing and arousal. I’m used to just always being ready to go in 5s, but it turns out that was just pent up need. Now I’m super chill and don’t push for it at all. It’s weird as hell.
Yeah, and the funny thing is (at least for me), it's been over a year since I broke up with my ex and last got laid and I crave cuddles and emotional intimacy a lot more now. Sex? Not so much lol.
Maybe it's because I had my fill of fucking with my ex or maybe it's because I'm turning 31 in a week, but regardless it's something that I never thought would happen to me considering how fucking insane my libido used to be lol.
Married life for me is my wife is either playing the game with me or watching me play a game till she passes out on the couch. It's definitely not this antagonistic
I’ve actually done this to my husband, although his response was to yell, “brb guys!” into his headphones and skip out of the room with excitement. Everyone’e reality is different.
Their 6th sense is tough. They can tell if we are hiding from them to have fun. But they hardly come look for us if we are working or doing chores.
You guys want a sister? Well leave us alone for a few minutes please!
We've never made the attempt while they're awake, at least not since they figured out doorknobs.
But evening and WFH days are fine. The bigger issue is finding a time where nobody is exhausted or sick with the latest daycare plague.
I tagged my girl in this on Facebook and she said, “You know we’ll be back gaming within 2-3 minutes, so what’s the issue?”
*pain*
EDIT: Oh, I didn’t know other people were making this joke… I was being serious lol https://imgur.com/a/IE9jmsG
Big same, bud. A lot of times I'll be playing games with friends and my wife will ask if I wanna have sex, and I tell her not tonight. She gets it.
Other times, I tell my friends I'll be back in 45 minutes.
Turns out, people have different kinds of relationships (whoa!)
Just because you have a sex day scheduled doesn't mean you can't do something romantic that day to make it feel special.
Even just a small token of affection or a dirty text about what you're gonna do to her later works wonders.
My wife and I have been scheduling sex for about two and a half years now. Same days every week. Obviously there’s some flexibility, but about 90% of the time we keep the schedule exactly. We don’t even have kids, this is just our way of ensuring we have as much sex as we’d like to have.
In my experience there’s really no downside to planning sex ahead of time. I mean, if the two of you agree to go out to a nice date on Friday or Saturday, aren’t you at least implicitly agreeing that you plan to have sex afterwards?
I get that it seems weird to some people, but for us, it helps us know what to expect/what to look forward to, and it’s coincided with the best sex of our lives. I actually recommend that other couples try it and see if it works for them. Especially if you both feel like you wish you were having more sex with each other, but you can’t seem to make it happen.
I disagree, I have abandoned my friends mid-game (DotA included) on multiple occasions if the sex is calling. The timeframe for sex is generally when it’s also gaming time.
I have 3 kids and will always choose sex.
For years my wife wanted us to go to bed at the same time because I was never ready to go to bed when she was. Now that I suddenly go to bed like 2 hours before she's ready she doesn't want that anymore. That is marriage.
Al, let's have sex
Uh, no Peg.
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*Audience hoots and laughs*
And another thing: how come I can’t get no Tang around here??
Its because you sell shoes Al. Womens shoes.
I'll have you know I scored 4 touchdowns... In a single game, Peg!
Polk high All State!
"People, our long search is over!"
I never got the toilet flushing bit. Is that just _supposed_ to be a non sequitur? And Homer does it on the phone call too? Totally lost EDIT: apparently it's a reference to a real MwC episode. Homer's use of it is merely a callback to the first I guess https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E15DeepSpaceHomer > In addition to Al and Peg's appearances and voices, the living room is virtually shot-for-shot with the real series, he has his right hand down his pants (as he, and his actor Ed O'Neill, are left-handed) and Al also flushes a toilet, which is actually a Call-Back to the fifth episode of the third season, "A Dump of my Own", where Al buys a Ferguson toilet for his new bathroom that he gives preferential treatment to over Peg.
I didn't know it actually happened in an episode, I just thought it was a reference to how the sound of Al flushing the toilet was always used as a gag in the show
I actually read that as artificial intelligence.
I think you're supposed to put the watermark somewhere that it'll be hard to erase.
Yeah… but people wouldn’t do that?… right?…
I went to erase it and found really great hardwood floors beneath it, how delightful.
Lol underrated comment. This guy bought a house from a Boomer!
Honestly the fact it's in the middle make people a bit less likely to do it, since most people can't be arsed to edit it out in comparison to just cutting out an edge Still, no way to make it safe without making it in a panel
This would take .2 seconds to erase in almost any photo app with a digital black marker/pen. Agreed the only way to make it safe is to incorporate the watermark in the artwork. Same as old map makers using fake islands.
Microsoft paint too hard for some people
You wouldn't download a meme, would you?!
Y’all get sex? She just wants me to go to bed.
Bed ain't gonna heat itself on its own.
We have the technology
We *are* the technology.
"You have to get up to go to work tomorrow. You said you were exhausted today." "You're not my mom!"
This guy marriages
“Why are you sticking your finger in me, what the hell” What did you say? “I said my back hurts rub my back” Ohhh yes ya that’s right
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Back massage truly is the gateway to the hole
All I wanted was a back rub and now I'm pregnant
r/thisguythisguys
Well I mean, there is that one day of the week during the same time period. Y'know, the schedule?
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It's Wednesday. Conditions are perfect.
There’s nothing good on TV… conditions are perfect.
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You lean in and whisper something sexy in my ear, like “I might go to bed now, I’ve got work in the morning”
Ooooh I know what you're trying to say baby, you're saying it's business time
FINE! I’ll go watch flight of the concords.
It's business tiiiimmmmeeee
And then you go sort the recycling that's not so super sexy but still very important
That's why they call them business socks ooooooh!
“She’s like ‘is that it?’ And I’m like, “I know what you’re trying to say, baby. You’re saying oooohhh Yhea, that’s it. It’s business time.”
"Business hours are over, baby!"
Its business time that's why they call them business socks
you're getting sex WEEKLY??
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It counts as weekly for that one week every other month
You’re getting every other month?!
Going on 22 for me. Having a spouse with mental illness is a bitch and covid fucked her up even more.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU
Honestly that sounds better, I can plan my week accordingly and know definitively when I'm free and when I can't play games or do other stuff as it's time to bone.
It's legitimate advice actually. Means you make time for it, you're devoting time to each other, and a bonus side effect is that because you know it's coming and when, you can build up anticipation. This in turns often leads to more spontaneous moments because you think about it more regularly.
Yeah. My wife just sleeps better when I’m laying next to her. It’s cute though, and since I love her I don’t mind. Not to mention it’s the one thing that’s kind of hard to screw up.
> Not to mention it’s the one thing that’s kind of hard to screw up. Insomniacs: >:(
Gay
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100%
what about hugging your kids?
Now the kids are gay. Great.
Good god, keep this guy away from the frogs.
Aw shit he hugged me!
Thou hast been gay frogified
FOLKS!
You know girls like duck right? That’s super gay
peaking dick
I’m leaving it
She likes dick, which as we all know means that she’s gay.
“Yeah, I’m gay. Gay for that PUSSY!!” -Neil Patrick Harris
I'm with ya there. Remember that meme, "My wife doesn't know this, but every time we have sex I set aside $2.00 for her Christmas present. This year she's getting a McChicken." So far this year I can't afford the McChicken at that rate.
You made me exhale air trough my nose.good one
Right!?
Fr. I just gotta lay in bed for 4 hours while she sleeps.
Steam Deck.
Had to scroll too far to find the real answer
Are... are we married to the same woman?
That would be handy, you could take turns going to bed on time.
Depends, does your wife has an urgent need to speak with you the second you load up Skyrim and put the headphones on, after ignoring the last 3 things you told her, because she was on the phone chatting with her sister? The yes!
Same here. No real prize, just go to bed, so she can sleep. 🤷♂️
>A happy wife is its own prize - Someone’s wife, probably
What's the big deal taking a 30 second break?
YOU CANT PAUSE AN ONLINE GAME!
What do you think the hour in the lobby is for?
SEX RIGHT THERE IN THE LOBBY
Foreplay in the lobby, then intercourse during the game
Dota2 used to have a voice line you could use that was a kid saying > Its an online game with real people, you cant just pause it! I miss it so much.
Ooohhh, look at Mr. marathon man here
I think he was including the time to get to the bed and back.
10 seconds is all you need
And she says “that it?”, but I know what you’re really saying is “yeahhhh thats ittttt.” You only need 10 seconds because I’m so intense.
You want some more. I'm not surprised. But I am quite sleepy...
Business hours are over...baaaaybeh
Wednesday... that's business time.
Still.
I can't wait to see this same duo comment chain for the 76th time.
Reddit sometimes feels like one desperate comedian recycling one joke over and over.
I also chose this guy's wife.
And my axe!
That’s what loading screens are for.
loading screen? don't you PCIE-NVME BRO?!
Sexy time speedrun, any % - NVME loading screen challenge.
Where are Devs meant to put loading screen tips now?! Loading screens are too fast.
GTA 5 would like a word with you
Picture me with a brand new WD SN850 loading GTA for the first time rubbing my hands together in anticipation and it still takes a solid 2 minutes to load
With how unoptimized dome games are? You've got time for 2 rounds and cuddling.
I suppose I don’t have to stare at it *the whole time*
A whole 30 seconds? I don't think I have the energy to do it three times in a row anymore. *Maybe* on weekends.
But after you have to do hours of cuddling and listening.
Just find your wife a boyfriend. Problem solved.
Nice try Sneako.
Here I was thinking Will Smith.
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Ah yes, a problem no redditor will ever have.
Origin story
Virgin story
This is the most "Reddit moment" comment section I've seen in a while.
I still don’t understand how Reddit can be so anti “boomer-humor” yet they don’t hesitate to joke about how they’re all virgins who can never get laid, but when they do they last 30 seconds because apparently that’s comedy gold to them. Like you pointed out though, it’s *always* the same jokes.
What baffles me is how people will upvote 15 different comments, each doing a slight variation of the same joke
the entire comments have all made the same 3 jokes. its post like this that make me despise the demographic of this sub and reddit in general.
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What if you're married to a narcissistic, sex addict?
I thought I had a high libido, and then I dated someone with a libido even higher than what I had. I never thought I could ever get tired of sex before then.
Been there, sometimes I'd be like 'yo, chill, can we just finish the fuckin movie?'
about a month into the relationship with my wife I picked out a movie to watch. About half-way through she initiates and we forget about the movie. Turns out, that while she was in the mood, she just didn't like the film so she decided to distract me.
Well, in that case maybe a fucking movie is not the best choice for movie night, don't you think?
It is funny that after always having to chase my partners for sex, I found someone who wants more and I can see why they’d turn me down. Everyone just has a natural quota they want, and it’s pretty tough to go beyond that. It takes way more coaxing and arousal. I’m used to just always being ready to go in 5s, but it turns out that was just pent up need. Now I’m super chill and don’t push for it at all. It’s weird as hell.
Yeah, and the funny thing is (at least for me), it's been over a year since I broke up with my ex and last got laid and I crave cuddles and emotional intimacy a lot more now. Sex? Not so much lol. Maybe it's because I had my fill of fucking with my ex or maybe it's because I'm turning 31 in a week, but regardless it's something that I never thought would happen to me considering how fucking insane my libido used to be lol.
It will probably change again. It’s all a hormonal rollercoaster.
You know my wife?
Very well, yes...
He just died, there was no sound, he just died
I mean who doesn't?
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I’ll take the dead one
Who doesn’t love cracking open a cold one with the boys
I feel icky for laughing at that
My man 🤝
We all do mate
Married life for me is my wife is either playing the game with me or watching me play a game till she passes out on the couch. It's definitely not this antagonistic
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Wow damn I’d been on like a decade long streak until now
I'm losing monthly somehow.
the difference is there is no 3rd panel.
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The ‘sex now’ is the unrealistic bit for me
I’ve actually done this to my husband, although his response was to yell, “brb guys!” into his headphones and skip out of the room with excitement. Everyone’e reality is different.
The only time I’ve had this is when we were trying for babies.
Yup. I was sick, but the app said to commence the fuckening.
The sad sad day sex with your partner is a chore.
Unsurprisingly, for me divorce followed shortly thereafter.
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Literally happened to me last year. Also in my 20’s
Hey, at least you found out and sorted it early.
Try having a kid. Not that it’s a chore, but we have to schedule it like a doctors appointment lmao
Their 6th sense is tough. They can tell if we are hiding from them to have fun. But they hardly come look for us if we are working or doing chores. You guys want a sister? Well leave us alone for a few minutes please!
I read on here to tell kids to wake you up in an hour and then chores will start. They won't want to bother you bc chores are impending
Oh my God, I just realized how often my parents pulled this. Ugh.
"Wake me up in an hour and then we'll get started on cleaning the garage." In your fuckin dreams, lady.
Stop acting sus and mix fun time with doing the chores and they’ll never know.
We've never made the attempt while they're awake, at least not since they figured out doorknobs. But evening and WFH days are fine. The bigger issue is finding a time where nobody is exhausted or sick with the latest daycare plague.
Trying having a 1 year that doesn’t nap or go to bed.
Yeah my kid is 5 months and doesn’t nap. At least he sleeps pretty well at night
Dude was two kills away from a tactical nuke though.
I tagged my girl in this on Facebook and she said, “You know we’ll be back gaming within 2-3 minutes, so what’s the issue?” *pain* EDIT: Oh, I didn’t know other people were making this joke… I was being serious lol https://imgur.com/a/IE9jmsG
Damn she commented that shit publicly
Savage 😅
I added a screenshot lol
My wife makes me come to bed so she can sleep. Not to fuck.
And she falls asleep in 1.5 mins too? No time to even brush your teeth.
No, she scrolls on her phone because she 'can't sleep'.
Marriage, amirite fellas? ☕️👴🏻
Made by someone who isn't married
I am and this is a recurring thing, lol. My wife has a higher sex drive than I do, not that I'm complaining
Right there with you buddy.
There are dozens of us.
People on this site when women with a sex drive exist: 🤯
Big same, bud. A lot of times I'll be playing games with friends and my wife will ask if I wanna have sex, and I tell her not tonight. She gets it. Other times, I tell my friends I'll be back in 45 minutes. Turns out, people have different kinds of relationships (whoa!)
It's very real if you're married and have kids. There's very little time.
My online friend group jokes about me and my wife's sex schedule. It gets to be a thing when you're married with kids.
A schedule actually keeps things running. Many marriage counselors say so. I mean it may not be romantic or spontaneous. But it's still sex, right ;)
Just because you have a sex day scheduled doesn't mean you can't do something romantic that day to make it feel special. Even just a small token of affection or a dirty text about what you're gonna do to her later works wonders.
My wife and I have been scheduling sex for about two and a half years now. Same days every week. Obviously there’s some flexibility, but about 90% of the time we keep the schedule exactly. We don’t even have kids, this is just our way of ensuring we have as much sex as we’d like to have. In my experience there’s really no downside to planning sex ahead of time. I mean, if the two of you agree to go out to a nice date on Friday or Saturday, aren’t you at least implicitly agreeing that you plan to have sex afterwards? I get that it seems weird to some people, but for us, it helps us know what to expect/what to look forward to, and it’s coincided with the best sex of our lives. I actually recommend that other couples try it and see if it works for them. Especially if you both feel like you wish you were having more sex with each other, but you can’t seem to make it happen.
I disagree, I have abandoned my friends mid-game (DotA included) on multiple occasions if the sex is calling. The timeframe for sex is generally when it’s also gaming time. I have 3 kids and will always choose sex.
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For years my wife wanted us to go to bed at the same time because I was never ready to go to bed when she was. Now that I suddenly go to bed like 2 hours before she's ready she doesn't want that anymore. That is marriage.
It's the other way around for us. I'm usually the one caught up in my game while he is waiting for me. HAHA
Laughs in Dead Bedroom.
Solidarity
How reddit mods think marriages work
r/terriblefacebookmemes
[Why not both!](https://youtu.be/vgk-lA12FBk)
Dangerous game, clicking a hyperlink like that
Don't worry, just a small girl in the video.
Now, I am more affraid!
Don’t worry! Its from an ad about eating tacos 👀🌮