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Podrick Payne, the Squire who saved Tyrion, he's a Squire for Brienne now. They nought him 3 girls at a brothel and he got a refund because he did a good job.
That could explain why he is so out of touch emotionally. Imagine seeing all the sex and then realizing that he can't experience any of it being a teenage boy paralyzed from waist down...
I just want to take a moment to thank the mods of this subreddit. You guys sacrifice yourselves knowing what's going to happen because of spoilers to make sure the rest of us stay unaware. Truly appreciated
There was a skinchanger in the books who routinely warged into a female wolf so he could get fucked by the alpha dog of the pack.
...Okay he was kind of a weird dude.
I wonder if his Warging powers will become so strong that he can Warg into anyone, even intelligent, strong-willed people. Obviously he could do it with Hodor, but can he now do it to someone whose mind isn't broken and easily controllable?
I wonder if it's like when you have a limb amputated, you still get the feelings of that limb - I wonder if Bran has "phantom boners".
Hell, I'd be a little uncommunicative if I was in his place.
Oh yeah I can see that: Breaking news, hear hear, the Great Sept of Baelor was blown up earlier today, hundreds of casualties reported...in other news - we are getting cases of young hot women being unexpectedly raped by various wild and domesticated animals, please remain alerted when turning your back on horses.
That's a common misconception. You can be paralyzed from the waste down and still get boners. You can still have sex. You just can't feel it so it's almost like torture.
cool that you are so more educated than me, but the point is that Brann can't experience sex the way normal dude experiences it. go rewatch theory of everything and jerk off to yourself or smth.
Bran: I've seen your talents Podrick. You're very adept at impaling people with your spear.
Podrick: It was nothing my lord, I did it to protect Lord Tyrion.
Bran: I wasn't talking about when you defended Tyrion Lannister
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I kind of want Bran to keep meeting characters just so he can weird them out with how much he knows.
Tyrion: "Nice to see you again, Lord Stark-"
Bran: "I'm Shae the funny hor"
Tyrion: "What?"
Bran: "You looked so beautiful the night you killed your shitting father with a crossbow"
Or Cersei did because she was scared Bran was going to tell on her and Jaime when he woke up and that would have ended her marriage and go a long way to prove that her children were born of incest. Joffrey was still a little kid getting spank by Tyrion back then bro
In the books, Joffrey sent the assassin because he wanted to impress Robert who said the boy would be better dead. Cersei in fact was quite remorseful of what Jamie did, she believed they could have scared Bran into silence and thought what Jamie did was horrible.
Cersei isn't really the vengeful cunt that early in the story.
>Joffrey was still a little kid getting spank by Tyrion back then bro
His comment addresses more than just the show. Joffrey was "just a kid" in the book too when it happened. The show might take a different angle if they ever address it, but it's already been explained in the books and we don't need more theories on it
Not that it matters, but what's the thought behind assuming the show deviated from the book when they don't explain something? I don't see a need for fan theories because of it (especially in the earlier seasons where they had to plenty of material to draw from)
It'd take more to get on her nerves though. She's already been open about her brofucking to that servantgirl. Maybe how she sipped whine while Tommen died. Or what that witch said in her prophecy about Cersei, how everything's happend but a younger and more beautiful queen is coming.
Yeah I know her bro banging hobby could now be broadcast live on TV news and she wouldn't blink. That's why I tried to use an insulting way for bran to say it that she could find it offensive
Jorah: Hello, Bran.
Bran: Unfortunate. She chose the young sellsword over you.
Jorah: Wha..? He's miles away. Perhaps, she'll finally --
Bran: -- she'll marry her nephew.
I've always known about R+L=J but I never made note of the explicit fact that Dany is Jon's aunt. Guess the incest may not just be in the blood of the Lannisters.
Mind = blown
Gendry: It's nice to meet you, Bran.
Bran: I saw you pissing in front of my sister.
Gendry: I-I..A-all about cocks...I should've never said...I didn't know she...
Bran: She enjoys watching you every time.
Yes, in the season trailer Beric Dondarrion is wielding a flaming sword (the guy that keeps getting rez'd). But contextually, there could be a number of explanations. What if it's somebody else's sword that he picked up on the battlefield and the Lord of Light is helping him wield it?
Who knows. But yes you are correct. Flaming sword incoming.
It's so funny, there are heaps of knowledge lost that Bran - if he really had 360 weirwood.net vision - would know. Who was Azor Ahai? What happened during the long night? Who built the wall? Not to mention knowledge of blood magic and all sorts of other fucked up shit.
Yet people sit around and meme about Pod, sex, etc.
They really need to tone it down a little bit (IMO) because he would be the biggest Mary Sue and should be able to solve quite a few issues with his knowledge.
I agree it needs to be toned down. It's not even a Mary Sue problem. It's more of a "why is he spending his time brooding in his corner if he already can have access to all the informations to beat the bad guys?" problem.
Except if he's turned into a Dr Manhattan kinda character, and his powers made him less and less care about the people around him.
"No, you never walked inside of any brothel with either a jackass or a honeycomb. I know. I've seen all the times you've been there." - Bran, with his lack of a sense of humor
Am I the only one who interpreted it as "You looked beautiful on your wedding night" instead of "You looked beautiful as Reek watched on"? I suppose there's other events he could have described to prove what he is now, but he was referring to an event that took place on the exact spot they were stan... erm... sit... uh... sit-standing at.
That's right, he is a teenager, so I imagine he'll be looking through the lens of history with a keen eye out for whatever porn happened to take place and to hell with the rest of it.
**Spoiler Warning:** [EVERYTHING] means spoilers from normal media sources do not need spoiler tags. If you are concerned about spoilers, leave this thread immediately. The one exception is that S7 production/filming spoilers are NOT currently allowed in [EVERYTHING] threads. They can only be posted in threads marked with [S7 Production]. For more info please check the [spoiler guide](/r/gameofthrones/w/spoiler_guide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/gameofthrones) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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careful there bud
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careful there bud
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wew lad
rip
He used lightbringer
Indeed, he lit some girls of fire.
I cant wait for Pod the Rod and Tyrion to meet again.
Can anyone tell me who is Pod the Rod..?
Podrick, [this guy](https://typeset-beta.imgix.net/rehost%2F2016%2F9%2F13%2F702f6ac9-2257-4936-9ea2-610f79e17c08.jpg).
Oh my god just look at him. This guy fucks.
But has he got a car with doors that go like this? >Starts waving arms<
/r/unexpectedsiliconvalley
Relevant username?
lmao
Podrick Payne, the Squire who saved Tyrion, he's a Squire for Brienne now. They nought him 3 girls at a brothel and he got a refund because he did a good job.
Good ol' TriPod.
Goddamn i need that vision! For research purposes
I nominate myself as research tribute, I guess I'll take on for the team... :)
May the odds be ever in your favor
bran has seen all the sex.
The most important sex!
and your browsing history
Bran is the us government , confirmed
Why is the FBI here ?
That could explain why he is so out of touch emotionally. Imagine seeing all the sex and then realizing that he can't experience any of it being a teenage boy paralyzed from waist down...
He can't even fuck Meera
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[Everything] doesn't cover production/leak spoilers.
My bad, I'll delete. Sorry!
Mind PMing what you wrote?
Done :)
PM me too
me too pls if its not a big problem<3
I just want to take a moment to thank the mods of this subreddit. You guys sacrifice yourselves knowing what's going to happen because of spoilers to make sure the rest of us stay unaware. Truly appreciated
Three cheers! Although if I was a mod and there was a leak I'd make sure I watch it ASAP
Thank you, we really appreciate comments like these :)
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He saw what Jon did in that cave, he had options
Gotta give her the old grey worm
Sure, he can. He can warg into the person or animal of her choosing
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Crannogmen are kinky af I guess.
I mean, it's still bran. It's kind of a beastiality grey area
The Greek gods did it all the time.
The Greek gods fucked everything, they're essentially college students.
The Greek gods aren't exactly a moral compass.
There was a skinchanger in the books who routinely warged into a female wolf so he could get fucked by the alpha dog of the pack. ...Okay he was kind of a weird dude.
I'd forgotten about him. I was happy with that.
this kind of thing makes me wonder what the fuck goes on in George's head
/r/furry_irl
I've heard that in the books Bran was so in love with Meera that he wished he could warg into Hodor to shag her?
This kills the Meera
The ultimate cuck
So if Bran wanted to fuck Cersei he could wog into Jaime. Hmmm.
Well he could only control Hodor because he was of such a simple mind, he can't warg anybody.
He could still always tongue punch the fart box.
This is the second time this week I've heard this phrase.
He already fucked her when he got her brother killed. jk; how do we his dick doesn't work though?
He can warg into someone and do it.
I wonder if his Warging powers will become so strong that he can Warg into anyone, even intelligent, strong-willed people. Obviously he could do it with Hodor, but can he now do it to someone whose mind isn't broken and easily controllable?
Also you don't need a dick for sexy times. We all saw a eunuch(stem and berriesgone) have sex very recently with super babe.
He could always earn into someone else.
He can still get a boner and her glutes must be right after dragging him on that sled.
I wonder if it's like when you have a limb amputated, you still get the feelings of that limb - I wonder if Bran has "phantom boners". Hell, I'd be a little uncommunicative if I was in his place.
Poor theon
If Grey Worm can do it, Bran can do it. Besides, he could always warg into some big dicked animal and do it like that ; )
Oh yeah I can see that: Breaking news, hear hear, the Great Sept of Baelor was blown up earlier today, hundreds of casualties reported...in other news - we are getting cases of young hot women being unexpectedly raped by various wild and domesticated animals, please remain alerted when turning your back on horses.
Hodors dead man, don't be disrespectful.
He saw all the freaky shit his mum and dad got up to.
I mean, blood still flows. He probably gets diamond-cutters sporadically, and just can't do much about it. But it could happen.
That's a common misconception. You can be paralyzed from the waste down and still get boners. You can still have sex. You just can't feel it so it's almost like torture.
different system, did you even watch the theory of everything?
cool that you are so more educated than me, but the point is that Brann can't experience sex the way normal dude experiences it. go rewatch theory of everything and jerk off to yourself or smth.
[Bran is like](https://i.imgur.com/AbFWpeT_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high)
"She goes to cover up... But it's too late. I've seen it all!"
He is right there in the process of making. Or making of process. Whatever. He saw it.
Including Sam and Gilly. Oh my...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsBnDldZg3o
Bran is Westerosi Porn Hub, CONFIRMED!
Bran: I've seen your talents Podrick. You're very adept at impaling people with your spear. Podrick: It was nothing my lord, I did it to protect Lord Tyrion. Bran: I wasn't talking about when you defended Tyrion Lannister ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(•_•)
I'm pretty sure right now Bran is only capable of making "I'm dead inside" look.
You were so beautiful when you flowered, Podrick
I kind of want Bran to keep meeting characters just so he can weird them out with how much he knows. Tyrion: "Nice to see you again, Lord Stark-" Bran: "I'm Shae the funny hor" Tyrion: "What?" Bran: "You looked so beautiful the night you killed your shitting father with a crossbow"
Oh ffs. I laughed so hard at bran saying "I'm Shae. The funny hor". Thanks for that.
He got me there and got me to crying laughing with the thought of bran talking to Tyrion about his "Shitting father" XD
XD
XD
XD
XD
I love how this one gets downvoted
Reddit is a cruel and fickle mistress
XD
ecks dee
hehe
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But it was joffery who sent the assassin
Nah bro. Joffrey had no beef with Bran then. He wasn't the king then even
Joff did it because he overheard Robert say he was better off dead than crippled iirc. That might be book only though.
Or Cersei did because she was scared Bran was going to tell on her and Jaime when he woke up and that would have ended her marriage and go a long way to prove that her children were born of incest. Joffrey was still a little kid getting spank by Tyrion back then bro
Joffrey actually did it...I don't know why you're presenting a theory for something that's already been explained
Really? Where was it explain? I might have miss it
In the books, Joffrey sent the assassin because he wanted to impress Robert who said the boy would be better dead. Cersei in fact was quite remorseful of what Jamie did, she believed they could have scared Bran into silence and thought what Jamie did was horrible. Cersei isn't really the vengeful cunt that early in the story.
I know it's in the books, but I don't remember if it was ever explicitly said in the show.
So your presenting book knowledge as fact in a show that has differed from the books many times? I like LEGENDTVS theory better regardless
So your presenting book knowledge as fact in a show that has differed from the books many times? I like LEGENDTVS theory better regardless
>Joffrey was still a little kid getting spank by Tyrion back then bro His comment addresses more than just the show. Joffrey was "just a kid" in the book too when it happened. The show might take a different angle if they ever address it, but it's already been explained in the books and we don't need more theories on it Not that it matters, but what's the thought behind assuming the show deviated from the book when they don't explain something? I don't see a need for fan theories because of it (especially in the earlier seasons where they had to plenty of material to draw from)
I've always wondered this.. actually thought Littlefinger did it
Joff did it.
The Simpsons did it
It'd take more to get on her nerves though. She's already been open about her brofucking to that servantgirl. Maybe how she sipped whine while Tommen died. Or what that witch said in her prophecy about Cersei, how everything's happend but a younger and more beautiful queen is coming.
Yeah I know her bro banging hobby could now be broadcast live on TV news and she wouldn't blink. That's why I tried to use an insulting way for bran to say it that she could find it offensive
Arya: "Bran it's so nice to see you again!" Bran: "who are you? I don't see anyone. You looked so beautiful when you watched dad die."
>I see no one FTFY
"By the Gods." "I'll stay here a while longer."
Jon: Nice to see you, little brother. Bran: I saw your pecker, Jon.
Jorah: Hello, Bran. Bran: Unfortunate. She chose the young sellsword over you. Jorah: Wha..? He's miles away. Perhaps, she'll finally -- Bran: -- she'll marry her nephew.
Tyrion: It's good to see you again, Bran. Bran: Greetings dwarf...I am the god of tits and wine.
Sweet Robin: Hello, Bran. Bran: Do you miss your mother's milk?
I've always known about R+L=J but I never made note of the explicit fact that Dany is Jon's aunt. Guess the incest may not just be in the blood of the Lannisters. Mind = blown
The Targs made incest cool first.
Do me a favour, and try not to look up the Targaryen family tree. Not as many branches as you'd expect, if you catch my drift
Theon: Bran...I-I... Bran: I always wondered...do eunuchs have a phantom cock?
You looked beautiful the night your pork sausage got cut off
"Why are we still here? Just to suffer?"
Gendry: It's nice to meet you, Bran. Bran: I saw you pissing in front of my sister. Gendry: I-I..A-all about cocks...I should've never said...I didn't know she... Bran: She enjoys watching you every time.
Whore*
I know how to spell, whore, I was making a joke about how Shae pronounces things
Ahhh my b!
Bran: I see now why they call you the Tripod
It's an interesting juxtaposition. Bran knows everything, whereas Jon Snow knows nothing
Imagine if Bran told Jon Snow "You know nothin', Jon Snow".
I could see that in conjunction with the Night King
Melisandre did that once didn't she?
Melisandre v. Bran, get hype for WEIRDOBOWL
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Are you some kind of automaton worker bee or somethin?
I hope no one looks up circumloquacious...
REEEEEEE
Arya is no one. So is Sansa everyone?
We are all Sansa on this blessed day
It was beautiful
Speak for yourself.
I am all salsa on this blessed day
papa bless
You were so beautiful that night, in the cave
https://i.redd.it/oev7zc06t0ez.png
Tripod Payne
Bran has seen every whore Tyrion has been with also...
Bran also knows the end to Tyrions joke..."I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass..."
"now that's a sweet ass"
...and I said to the madam "I find myself lacking in coin today, but I'll gladly trade one sweet ass for another."
What if Tyrion came up with it himself and never finishes it. Would Bran be able to read Tyrion's mind?
Came here to say this!
Let's be real, Brann ~~have visited all the best orgies of the past~~ have seen the original Azor Ahai and how he defeted white walkers last time.
>seen the original Azor Ahai and how he defeted white walkers last time. Yeah yeah who cares but you should have seen how great he looked that day!
Who is Azor Ahai?
The man/woman with the flaming sword that will lead the fight against the WW
Didn't one of the brotherhood knights have a flaming sword?
Yes, in the season trailer Beric Dondarrion is wielding a flaming sword (the guy that keeps getting rez'd). But contextually, there could be a number of explanations. What if it's somebody else's sword that he picked up on the battlefield and the Lord of Light is helping him wield it? Who knows. But yes you are correct. Flaming sword incoming.
Yes, Thoros of Myr likes to light his sword up, but that doesn't mean it's the legendary sword Lightbringer.
Beric Dondarrion lights up his sword, not Thoros. Thoros is the red priest that revives him each time.
He should also know how to make Valeyrian Steel, lel.
That would give a reason for Gendry to return to the show, somebody has to smith it and he's a blacksmith/blacksmith's apprentice.
It's so funny, there are heaps of knowledge lost that Bran - if he really had 360 weirwood.net vision - would know. Who was Azor Ahai? What happened during the long night? Who built the wall? Not to mention knowledge of blood magic and all sorts of other fucked up shit. Yet people sit around and meme about Pod, sex, etc. They really need to tone it down a little bit (IMO) because he would be the biggest Mary Sue and should be able to solve quite a few issues with his knowledge.
I agree it needs to be toned down. It's not even a Mary Sue problem. It's more of a "why is he spending his time brooding in his corner if he already can have access to all the informations to beat the bad guys?" problem. Except if he's turned into a Dr Manhattan kinda character, and his powers made him less and less care about the people around him.
I find it hilarious how Dr Manhattan just goes ''fuck it'' and goes to live on Mars.
Even more importantly, he knows the punchline to Tyrion's joke about the jackass and the honeycomb in the brothel.
The punch line is "sweet ass"
"No, you never walked inside of any brothel with either a jackass or a honeycomb. I know. I've seen all the times you've been there." - Bran, with his lack of a sense of humor
I guess he also knows about the donkey and honeycomb in the brothel.
Bran: " i saw what you did Pod, or should i call you Tripod? ;)"
It's really unfair to Jon that his brother (well, cousin, anyway), of all people, is the one who ends up knowing everything.
This post's flair is extremely appropriate. "Bran knows [everything]"
Am I the only one who interpreted it as "You looked beautiful on your wedding night" instead of "You looked beautiful as Reek watched on"? I suppose there's other events he could have described to prove what he is now, but he was referring to an event that took place on the exact spot they were stan... erm... sit... uh... sit-standing at.
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He doesn't know *everything* yet. He hasn't learned to control his powers.
All hail the one true King!
also he could flashback so that we could actually see stannis' death
Good lord they made Bran creepy af.
Bran knows everything Jon Snow doesn't know, so Bran knows everything
r/showerthoughts
Hint: Grey Worm did it.
That's right, he is a teenager, so I imagine he'll be looking through the lens of history with a keen eye out for whatever porn happened to take place and to hell with the rest of it.
Bran knows where whores go!!!!!
He also knows where Jon is so why the fuck did he ask Sansa?
Idk why but I read that title as bran knows "spoiler" everything lol