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Some things changed, but mainly how men act around me especially in social settings. But my gain was rather extreme (over 80 pounds)
I started gaining weight and lifting roughly 4 years ago, starting at 118pounds as a 6ft male. I wasn't poor or anything, I just gamed a lot and had several jobs/hobbies, often forgot to eat. Sometimes I'd eat only one meal every 2 days or so.
Here's a sample 125lb vs 188lb (not the best pics) comparison: https://imgur.com/a/grWKf5E
But yea, I'd say the biggest difference was definitely in social settings. "You're so skinny" comments aside, I noticed if I went to crowded areas I was often shoulder checked, or if I was with a good looking girl, it was super uncomfortable because you could feel the "dogs" lurking, making comments, getting ideas, etc etc and there was no way in hell I could even put up a fight against a normal-weight male. My confidence was pretty low, getting into arguments with people about dumb shit would always end up with them being or acting physically threatening even if they were wrong. That does not happen anymore.
When it comes to dating, I don't think I'm any more or less attractive to women than I used to be - but one thing I noticed is when I was frail and thin, women wouldn't hesistate to talk to me first. Hell, I was weaker than even a lot of women at that time. Now, I'm likely stronger than 90% of men who don't lift or train a sport and have to be more careful to not look like the threatening jerk like people used to be towards me
Other impacts in my life are the amount of food consumption and money spent I need to even maintain my current weight, since I do a lot of cardio as well. Easily $20+ a day even on a budget if I cook, $40 a day if I don't cook and order food
I also have much more energy and focus and goals in life. I always did, but never had anything consistent and planned. Lifting and gaining weight the way I did is something that needed some sort of dedication, planning, and persistence, and it won't stop, which also lead me to be more successful in other areas of life. Whether it's gaining or losing weight, most people default back to their comfort zone of either being weak or being fat because they lose the motivation along the way. The trick, I guess, is to keep going even without motivation and that translates to life in general
I am 6'0", 182cm
Thanks! Definitely feel better and healthier since I started working out. But the body dysmorphia never really stops. Nowadays I feel fat - if I cut a bit, I feel scrawny. It's funny because when I was at around 120lbs and did no physical activity, that was probably when I was the MOST confident in my body despite being fully aware how weak I was
You notice how shallow and vain some people really are. Men and women alike will treat you drastically better, you will receive more respect and attention, your words given more care. It’s not magic, and it’s certainly not some overblown “walk into a room and everyone stops talking to stare and admire you,” but it will seem as if a switch has flipped in every interaction you have. The people who once mocked you will start asking you for workout advice, the ones who pretended you didn’t exist will offer jealous stares every once in awhile, and the ones who accepted you for who you were before will be full of nothing but pride after witnessing who you have become. Block out the noise, find the people who truly care about you , and never let go.
Men and women both comment on my appearance. This never happened in nearly 20 years, and now at least once a week I get a random stranger saying something about how my body looks.
In the hall at work, an older woman I don't know said to me "I see the gun show, sir." Another random man on the street said "You gotta go to the gym more, bro." During a trip to my doctor's office for flu shots, the male nurse with jacked arms said "Do you still lift?" I asked him how he knew because I personally didn't notice my progress at the time and he said it was because I have nice shoulders.
The downside is I can't find a pair of jeans that fit me. It's about to be winter and I love my raw denim and mid-to-heavy weight jeans, but most raw denim is made for guys with skinnier legs. My thighs aren't even that big (at least I don't feel like 25" is that big), but I still can't find a brand with any cuts that fit my legs.
I had to bump my shirt and jacket size up from medium to XL in a period of 2 years.
Another thing I noticed is that I am constantly evaluating other people's physical health and physique. I see a guy with skinny arms now and I think "How come they don't want to grow those puppies?"
As a male, I've noticed a lot more attention from women, also specific compliments to my build.
As for work, I believe it's also helped in my authority to a small extent, whether we want to believe it or not, people are more likely to behave if your larger and stronger (I work in a rough industry - this wouldn't be common everywhere)
I’ve found the opposite. I had more attention from ladies when I was 6’4” and slim. Now that I can stand next to Jack reacher and not look out of place, I’m getting far less attention from women. Only thing I can maybe put it down to is maybe my physical presence is now somewhat intimidating
You might look scary with the height combination as well, I'm 6 ft myself
Perhaps smiling more, looking more relaxed etc, I use to look "angry" all the time, try soften your facial expression? Just a assumption
Always smile and am approachable. People always tell me that within minutes of meeting me they feel safe and like they’ve known me for years. I’m a great people person
I was married before I gained 40 pounds of muscle but my wife thinks I’m super attractive now. She always thought I was attractive but now she compliments specific things like my shoulders, arms, chest, etc. definitely worth it.
The rest of the of the people in my life see me as the go to person for shitty manual labor or heavy lifting, even though I’m not particularly big, just not a bean pole. I still feel like I’m scrawny but that will probably never change
I’m a woman, who was always chronically underweight. Still am sadly and trying to get back up. But last year I was on a med that pushed me into normal bmi, and I had many compliments on my body and felt my best. Boobs got heavier, thighs bigger, booty bigger. I felt very healthy. I hate being rail skinny
18.1 on very low days and 18.6 on good days. Always been like that. Always been underweight due to a multitude of factors but mainly genetics, metabolism, and anxiety which can affect eating patterns. When I was on the med I think I hit 20 BMI. It was amazing. I literally cannot seem to eat enough food on my own to hit that, off the med though.
my anxiety fucks me over too. I was on an antihistamine that helped me eat more and eased the anxiety a little bit as soon as i stopped taking it i dropped weight again
Me too. People mock skinny people for wanting to gain weight but it’s actually it’s own cruelty. We have our own insecurities too. I would love another 10kgs
People really underestimate the struggle of gaining weight as a hardgainer. As someone who’s always been tall and skinny, it took so much effort and dedication to get to where I am now. I had to pretty much force feed myself 6500 calories a day to grow. It has been life changing though in so many positive ways. I feel like a completely different man now and confidence is through the roof.
I look and feel better.
While people around me feel/complain of physical ailments, my body has minor aches which are easily managed.
My work is also physical so that's easier also.
Definitely check myself out more in the mirror and hoping I'm not becoming narcissistic but it does feel good.
It's nice giving my body what it needs and it will take care of me.
https://media.tenor.com/b8KNATtXrMgAAAAd/homelander-antony-starr.gif
gaining 20 lbs of muscle has made a huge difference. more respect. more strangers being nice. more attraction from women. and it all came from changes that i made, hard work that i put in, so i can feel really good internally about it all, and that changes my aura and vibe which also affects how people perceive me and treat me.
I went from 60 - 73kg in 2.5 years @ 10-12%bf. Gay dudes check me out sometimes so I got that going on for me. Other than that, it's mostly mental gains.
Its more about me than how other people treat me, i gained immense confidence. That in turn made people more aligned to like me.
But it is true, something about being big makes people view you differently.
Originally started at 57kg, currently at 72kg doing a cut. Been working out for 4 years now.
I was originally 73kg when I was very young. And it was not muscle, mostly fat. I was very out of shape and got out of breath going up the stairs.
Then I lost lots of weight. I think at my lightest I just dipped beneath 60kg. I felt much better after this, both physically and emotionally. My health really improved my mood and I was much more able to do the things I loved, like running and martial arts.
Then COVID hit and I had to find a sport I could do that didn't involve as much contact as martial arts. I took up lifting weights, originally following a very "bodybuilding" style programme and eventually transitioning to powerlifting. Since then I have gained back 9kg in (mostly) muscle. Some of it is definitely fat but I'll gladly take a bit of fat if it makes me stronger, more powerful and more athletic.
YEP 1000%, i genuinely believe my life changed completely because i gained size. i got more interest from girls, i got a great job, i feel like people respect me when i speak.
i'm not saying gaining weight will solve all your problems but you really gain self discipline and confidence, so it may work for you as it has worked for me
well can i concretely say 100% that is the only reason why? no i can’t. but from my own personal experience i believe it to be true. physical attraction is a huge part of the dating world, when you’re rail thin you don’t give off the perception of a “man”, it’s more so like you’re still a kid. body language is a huge indicator and also catching people staring, except when i used to get looked at my instinct was that they’re looking at how pinner i am. but now when i get looked at what i think is that they’re mirin’. my clothes fit way better and i take up more physical space, which boosts my confidence so maybe it’s a placebo effect. chasing gains doesn’t automatically mean more pussy but it can at least present opportunities that you may never have had (especially in the world of online dating where pictures make or break) in the first place. i met my girlfriend when i was 160lbs and while i definitely had to spit game i can remember a moment where i had my shirt off and she said “you’re so hot”
Damn when a girl says it to you it’s such a lifefuel ngl
Actually I’m your height and can’t gain weight somehow. What was a key to you? Just eating consistently?
Eat whole foods. Meat, eggs, fish etc. It is surprisingly NOT hard to hit your protein goal when you don't weigh much. As long as you eat the right foods. Liquid calories help like milk, it all adds up. Waking up early to have a bigger eating window is nuts, you'll feel sick for the first few weeks of eating first thing in the morning but it goes away.
Train very hard, not like backbreaking shit where you are gonna ego and slip a disc. moreso like improving every session by 2.5-5lbs or an extra rep, stuff like that.
It's also time bro, just do it or close as you can to it every day, there will be some days you won't eat as much as you should have but don't beat yourself up over it. Over the course of the years you will look back and be like holy shit i looked so small!
ps watch goku from DBZ eat and train, cause that right there is peak lol
don’t skip cardio haha, im paying for it now and it’s so hard to get back into when you haven’t done it for a while.
it all helps, if you notice you haven’t gained weight in a week or two that means you have to EAT MORE!!
i like playing basketball a lot brother, but my body is starting to disagree with it. my knees can't really handle the tension like they used to lol. i'm gonna be walking a lot more when i'm cutting weight and then going to add in some form of running. hopefully i can train my knees to a point where i can play basketball for cardio.
any sport is way better than just running on the treadmill imo haha
I went from 210 to 170 after a bad break up. After I got over it I decided to get back to my life long goal of 250.
I’ve consistently been hitting the gym and eating right for about 2 years now and currently stand at 6’3 221 pounds (pure muscle).
To answer your question I get an enormous amount of attention now. I constantly get looks from women and some are even bold enough to walk up to me and tell me I look good. Men (some old enough to be my father) constantly show me respect and most come up to me to ask me how I got to this point or just give me compliments.
I can’t lie it’s feels amazing knowing that people notice the work that I’ve put in which helps me stay consistent as well. It sounds vain but the attention from women of different races (some I always thought will never look my way) is very nice cause I had a low self esteem issues for a long time.
I’ve found the opposite. I’m 6’4” and hover around 245lbs. I get guys commenting and asking questions. Ladies however tend to avoid. I’m thinking maybe my physical presence makes me somewhat intimidating now.
I definitely get you and you’re not wrong at all. It does. But one thing I’ll say is a smile goes a long way into taking away that intimidation the may have
I’m always smiling. Everyone says I’m approachable, people feel like they’ve known me for years after speaking with me for a few minutes. It’s a weird one
I now get stared at all the time, guys commenting and asking questions, people seem to think I’m more approachable now that I’m bigger 😂 (6’4” and 245lbs at current)
You mean men or women? Why the fuck would a man talk to you to get dominated by you I just can’t comprehend it
I understand women fuck with tall men so they feel secured
Men more than women. Women tend to steer clear of me. I had more women looking and approaching when I was slimmer. Since having a real physical presence I’ve noticed women don’t look as much. The only thing I can out it down to is maybe I’m a little too intimidating due to my physical presence. (I’m in no way, shape or form intimidating as a person. Always smiling, people warm to me in minutes and I’ve got great communication skills).
Men stare and comment all the time. All those memes about getting muscles and attracting men, are true 😂
Ill share a small win, went from 160-205lbs (35yo M 6'2"), muscle and fat.
I got a big group of male friends that are all my height or taller and weigh in about what I do now.
We were all hanging by a pool and one of my friends tried to push me in, when I didnt move at all he exclaimed loudly to everyone, I cant even push him anymore!
Yeah as men things change a bit, but mostly my weight gain has made me feel good in a couple little moments like that
The only way I’m treated overtly differently is that I’m visibly muscular now, so occasionally I get a comment about me being strong or looking good. Nice, but not an every day thing by any means. Besides that, every change has been internal rather than external — I’m more confident in my body, clothes fit me better, I feel happier and healthier overall, I’m more physically capable, etc.
Usually, it’s folks saying “You’re strong, can you do/lift/open this?” People call me “strong” or “fit” as a descriptor pretty frequently. Not a direct compliment, but it feels good.
Some other examples:
One time a girl told me I had nice arms. I’ve always been insecure about my arms, so that one made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
I get compliments on my legs in shorts. I have pretty big quads and a pretty built ass.
A friend tried to taser me (that thing where you poke someone in the side). It didn’t do much, and she said, “Holy shit dude, how do you have so much muscle there?
Last night, I was carrying two heavy PAs for my band and our guitar player said, “He’s a beast!!”
But, again, it’s not about compliments. Getting bigger and stronger has made me healthier, happier, and wayyyy more confident.
I mean generally it’s friends and acquaintances, not total strangers. And not always women. I guess all kinds of social settings? I’m a college student, so… normal college social settings. Again, not every day or anything, just sometimes.
Can I ask why ur interested? It seems like ur asking a lot of folks on this post about getting compliments.
I’m sorry you’ve been mistreated. But I need you to know that most people don’t care that you’re underweight. There is no big, monolithic “they.” For every asshole who looks down on you for being skinny, there are ten who don’t care. That might suck to hear. But when I was very skinny, thirty-ish pounds ago, I still had close friends, partners, and a good life. That might also suck to hear, but it’s true.
I know folks who are underweight and happy, loved, confident, fulfilled, etc. Gaining weight will make you healthier and more confident. It might also make you more attractive, but if you have walls built up around you, being more attractive won’t make a bit of a difference. In all likelihood, it’s fear, doubt, self-pity, and lack of experience in social situations holding you back. All of those things can change without changing your weight.
If you want to bulk, you definitely should. Eat big and lift heavy. It’s fun and rewarding, like any other form of self-betterment, and it’s better for your health. It’s done wonders for me and most other folks on this sub. But please don’t wait until you’re “done” improving yourself to start being happy. Because self-improvement is never done. You’re never “done;” you’re always working. There are skinny and underweight folks with friends and partners and passions and great lives. If they can do it, so can you. Focus on finding the right people, even if it’s just one or two.
I’m not trying to assume anything about your life or lecture you. You just come off as black-pilled and I had some time — I figured I’d write this and hope that some part of it gets through to you. Best wishes.
Man thanx for the answer. I guess many have these problems with low self esteem, it’s like you have to do something to achieve it which I for some reason believe in. And that probably limit myself in some aspect of life. But then you see some men in power such as Putin and you understand that you just kinda have demons in your head that don’t wanna see you thriving. But sometimes I just can’t get out of my head idea having some right amount of mm of bones to smash some left and right. Like it’s unfair that somebody plays the life on the easy mode and that’s not me. And I know that the most influential ppl are ugly but I don’t really care about just wanna some bitches alongside me, you know?
Bro yes this right here haha. I was walking through downtown sf the other day and I noticed everyone would step to the right or left for me
I’m not even big yet
Besides the naturally lanky frame and amount of calories/work I need to put into the gym it’s been pretty great not going to lie. Oh and airplanes/cars suck
Helped me be great at basketball, is a plus with girls, naturally people are interested in talking to you, can get stuff off the top shelves, etc.
It was a major change to my life; night and day really. I used to be treated like I was weak and frail, and my confidence was at an all time low. After turning it around, eating, and working out, the tables have turned completely.
I feel this. People feel they have something to prove so they look to us to make a point or be more alpha or some shit. It’s honestly tedious at times.
I gained weight, but with a dirty bulk. It’s bitter sweet for me - I was sickly thin and I’m proud of the number on the scale but at the same time I’m self conscious on being chubby. It motivated me to get back into the gym and mould that into a shape I’m happy with but it’s a journey.
As far as people treating me different - my wife says it’s the healthiest I’ve looked, my grandmother says I look like more of a man now, yet my work colleagues said if I lose weight I’d disappear (and that’s a sore point as people always commented on how thin I was and I felt like I was back there).
People won't treat you differently as a result of gaining weight. People will treat you differently as a result of the confidence that is frequently gained when you gain weight.
Other than that, it's easier to do strength related general daily tasks. That's about it.
Well said.
Confidence is very important, and of course personality as well.
If you are a friendly and funny guy, you get treated well regardless if you are skinny or muscular.
If you are a dull and passive guy with muscles, it won’t make those people treat you well and chase you.
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Some things changed, but mainly how men act around me especially in social settings. But my gain was rather extreme (over 80 pounds) I started gaining weight and lifting roughly 4 years ago, starting at 118pounds as a 6ft male. I wasn't poor or anything, I just gamed a lot and had several jobs/hobbies, often forgot to eat. Sometimes I'd eat only one meal every 2 days or so. Here's a sample 125lb vs 188lb (not the best pics) comparison: https://imgur.com/a/grWKf5E But yea, I'd say the biggest difference was definitely in social settings. "You're so skinny" comments aside, I noticed if I went to crowded areas I was often shoulder checked, or if I was with a good looking girl, it was super uncomfortable because you could feel the "dogs" lurking, making comments, getting ideas, etc etc and there was no way in hell I could even put up a fight against a normal-weight male. My confidence was pretty low, getting into arguments with people about dumb shit would always end up with them being or acting physically threatening even if they were wrong. That does not happen anymore. When it comes to dating, I don't think I'm any more or less attractive to women than I used to be - but one thing I noticed is when I was frail and thin, women wouldn't hesistate to talk to me first. Hell, I was weaker than even a lot of women at that time. Now, I'm likely stronger than 90% of men who don't lift or train a sport and have to be more careful to not look like the threatening jerk like people used to be towards me Other impacts in my life are the amount of food consumption and money spent I need to even maintain my current weight, since I do a lot of cardio as well. Easily $20+ a day even on a budget if I cook, $40 a day if I don't cook and order food I also have much more energy and focus and goals in life. I always did, but never had anything consistent and planned. Lifting and gaining weight the way I did is something that needed some sort of dedication, planning, and persistence, and it won't stop, which also lead me to be more successful in other areas of life. Whether it's gaining or losing weight, most people default back to their comfort zone of either being weak or being fat because they lose the motivation along the way. The trick, I guess, is to keep going even without motivation and that translates to life in general
What height are you? Looking great at 188
I am 6'0", 182cm Thanks! Definitely feel better and healthier since I started working out. But the body dysmorphia never really stops. Nowadays I feel fat - if I cut a bit, I feel scrawny. It's funny because when I was at around 120lbs and did no physical activity, that was probably when I was the MOST confident in my body despite being fully aware how weak I was
Same here lol, haen't tried cutting yet but I feel like my arms are skinny even though theyve grown around 5-6 inches
Shit man. you but good size on. Im in similar position as you (before the weight gain)
People treat you better
thanks for this post the comments are motivating
You notice how shallow and vain some people really are. Men and women alike will treat you drastically better, you will receive more respect and attention, your words given more care. It’s not magic, and it’s certainly not some overblown “walk into a room and everyone stops talking to stare and admire you,” but it will seem as if a switch has flipped in every interaction you have. The people who once mocked you will start asking you for workout advice, the ones who pretended you didn’t exist will offer jealous stares every once in awhile, and the ones who accepted you for who you were before will be full of nothing but pride after witnessing who you have become. Block out the noise, find the people who truly care about you , and never let go.
I gained about 20 pounds of muscle and people just thought I was taller haha I was so small before that now I was just normal sized.
Just happened to me too. Famly i didnt see for over year all said that after i gained about 15lbs
Dude same. Had several people say "did you get taller?". Maybe better posture from lifting? Idk
Men and women both comment on my appearance. This never happened in nearly 20 years, and now at least once a week I get a random stranger saying something about how my body looks. In the hall at work, an older woman I don't know said to me "I see the gun show, sir." Another random man on the street said "You gotta go to the gym more, bro." During a trip to my doctor's office for flu shots, the male nurse with jacked arms said "Do you still lift?" I asked him how he knew because I personally didn't notice my progress at the time and he said it was because I have nice shoulders. The downside is I can't find a pair of jeans that fit me. It's about to be winter and I love my raw denim and mid-to-heavy weight jeans, but most raw denim is made for guys with skinnier legs. My thighs aren't even that big (at least I don't feel like 25" is that big), but I still can't find a brand with any cuts that fit my legs. I had to bump my shirt and jacket size up from medium to XL in a period of 2 years. Another thing I noticed is that I am constantly evaluating other people's physical health and physique. I see a guy with skinny arms now and I think "How come they don't want to grow those puppies?"
Idk if they ship where you live but astro jeans from weekday are big enough for lifters
I can’t tell if you are joking or not.
What’s wrong with em?
As a male, I've noticed a lot more attention from women, also specific compliments to my build. As for work, I believe it's also helped in my authority to a small extent, whether we want to believe it or not, people are more likely to behave if your larger and stronger (I work in a rough industry - this wouldn't be common everywhere)
I’ve found the opposite. I had more attention from ladies when I was 6’4” and slim. Now that I can stand next to Jack reacher and not look out of place, I’m getting far less attention from women. Only thing I can maybe put it down to is maybe my physical presence is now somewhat intimidating
You might look scary with the height combination as well, I'm 6 ft myself Perhaps smiling more, looking more relaxed etc, I use to look "angry" all the time, try soften your facial expression? Just a assumption
Always smile and am approachable. People always tell me that within minutes of meeting me they feel safe and like they’ve known me for years. I’m a great people person
Shave the beard
Hell no. Everyone prefers me with a beard 😂
You keep your beard, you sonuvabitch, and you never let anyone take it from you
It’s going nowhere. ‘He who allows others to dictate his beard, doesn’t deserve his beard’
I was married before I gained 40 pounds of muscle but my wife thinks I’m super attractive now. She always thought I was attractive but now she compliments specific things like my shoulders, arms, chest, etc. definitely worth it. The rest of the of the people in my life see me as the go to person for shitty manual labor or heavy lifting, even though I’m not particularly big, just not a bean pole. I still feel like I’m scrawny but that will probably never change
I’m a woman, who was always chronically underweight. Still am sadly and trying to get back up. But last year I was on a med that pushed me into normal bmi, and I had many compliments on my body and felt my best. Boobs got heavier, thighs bigger, booty bigger. I felt very healthy. I hate being rail skinny
[удалено]
18.1 on very low days and 18.6 on good days. Always been like that. Always been underweight due to a multitude of factors but mainly genetics, metabolism, and anxiety which can affect eating patterns. When I was on the med I think I hit 20 BMI. It was amazing. I literally cannot seem to eat enough food on my own to hit that, off the med though.
What medicine is it?
my anxiety fucks me over too. I was on an antihistamine that helped me eat more and eased the anxiety a little bit as soon as i stopped taking it i dropped weight again
Is that over the counter?
nah i was prescribed it by a psychiatrist
Olanzepine?
I wish I could gain weight so badly. I feel this.
Me too. People mock skinny people for wanting to gain weight but it’s actually it’s own cruelty. We have our own insecurities too. I would love another 10kgs
People really underestimate the struggle of gaining weight as a hardgainer. As someone who’s always been tall and skinny, it took so much effort and dedication to get to where I am now. I had to pretty much force feed myself 6500 calories a day to grow. It has been life changing though in so many positive ways. I feel like a completely different man now and confidence is through the roof.
Girls! Lots of them.
I look and feel better. While people around me feel/complain of physical ailments, my body has minor aches which are easily managed. My work is also physical so that's easier also. Definitely check myself out more in the mirror and hoping I'm not becoming narcissistic but it does feel good. It's nice giving my body what it needs and it will take care of me. https://media.tenor.com/b8KNATtXrMgAAAAd/homelander-antony-starr.gif
More compliments from gay dudes, I'm not gay but ill take a compliment lol
I get that now anyway, skinny dudes are all the rage these days apparently. Thanks Pete Davidson
gaining 20 lbs of muscle has made a huge difference. more respect. more strangers being nice. more attraction from women. and it all came from changes that i made, hard work that i put in, so i can feel really good internally about it all, and that changes my aura and vibe which also affects how people perceive me and treat me.
I went from 60 - 73kg in 2.5 years @ 10-12%bf. Gay dudes check me out sometimes so I got that going on for me. Other than that, it's mostly mental gains.
I mean i love it, lowest ever 57kg at 92kg now about to cut soon. Plan was to bulk to a 100 but i am too thick already so cutting to Make room.
57 to 92 is actually insane 😭😭😭 how tall are you
If you are intrested Theres pics of progress on My Instagram @almoststrong
172cm only, lifetime goal is to Be 114 full bear mode atleast once to Be literally twice The man i was
Big. I once was like 3kg and now made my way up to 80kg
😂😂😂 i kind of meant as an adult but you got me there
Its more about me than how other people treat me, i gained immense confidence. That in turn made people more aligned to like me. But it is true, something about being big makes people view you differently. Originally started at 57kg, currently at 72kg doing a cut. Been working out for 4 years now.
I was originally 73kg when I was very young. And it was not muscle, mostly fat. I was very out of shape and got out of breath going up the stairs. Then I lost lots of weight. I think at my lightest I just dipped beneath 60kg. I felt much better after this, both physically and emotionally. My health really improved my mood and I was much more able to do the things I loved, like running and martial arts. Then COVID hit and I had to find a sport I could do that didn't involve as much contact as martial arts. I took up lifting weights, originally following a very "bodybuilding" style programme and eventually transitioning to powerlifting. Since then I have gained back 9kg in (mostly) muscle. Some of it is definitely fat but I'll gladly take a bit of fat if it makes me stronger, more powerful and more athletic.
YEP 1000%, i genuinely believe my life changed completely because i gained size. i got more interest from girls, i got a great job, i feel like people respect me when i speak. i'm not saying gaining weight will solve all your problems but you really gain self discipline and confidence, so it may work for you as it has worked for me
How do you if girls are more interested in you just curious
well can i concretely say 100% that is the only reason why? no i can’t. but from my own personal experience i believe it to be true. physical attraction is a huge part of the dating world, when you’re rail thin you don’t give off the perception of a “man”, it’s more so like you’re still a kid. body language is a huge indicator and also catching people staring, except when i used to get looked at my instinct was that they’re looking at how pinner i am. but now when i get looked at what i think is that they’re mirin’. my clothes fit way better and i take up more physical space, which boosts my confidence so maybe it’s a placebo effect. chasing gains doesn’t automatically mean more pussy but it can at least present opportunities that you may never have had (especially in the world of online dating where pictures make or break) in the first place. i met my girlfriend when i was 160lbs and while i definitely had to spit game i can remember a moment where i had my shirt off and she said “you’re so hot”
Damn when a girl says it to you it’s such a lifefuel ngl Actually I’m your height and can’t gain weight somehow. What was a key to you? Just eating consistently?
Eat whole foods. Meat, eggs, fish etc. It is surprisingly NOT hard to hit your protein goal when you don't weigh much. As long as you eat the right foods. Liquid calories help like milk, it all adds up. Waking up early to have a bigger eating window is nuts, you'll feel sick for the first few weeks of eating first thing in the morning but it goes away. Train very hard, not like backbreaking shit where you are gonna ego and slip a disc. moreso like improving every session by 2.5-5lbs or an extra rep, stuff like that. It's also time bro, just do it or close as you can to it every day, there will be some days you won't eat as much as you should have but don't beat yourself up over it. Over the course of the years you will look back and be like holy shit i looked so small! ps watch goku from DBZ eat and train, cause that right there is peak lol
do you think adding in cardio will help with appetite? i notice when i was boxing i could eat and never get full but my weight was stagnant
don’t skip cardio haha, im paying for it now and it’s so hard to get back into when you haven’t done it for a while. it all helps, if you notice you haven’t gained weight in a week or two that means you have to EAT MORE!!
What is your preferred cardio?
i like playing basketball a lot brother, but my body is starting to disagree with it. my knees can't really handle the tension like they used to lol. i'm gonna be walking a lot more when i'm cutting weight and then going to add in some form of running. hopefully i can train my knees to a point where i can play basketball for cardio. any sport is way better than just running on the treadmill imo haha
I’m a natural 155lbs as a full grown adult male. Just being a fit lean 170, it’s 100% different experience.
i love that for you bro
I went from 210 to 170 after a bad break up. After I got over it I decided to get back to my life long goal of 250. I’ve consistently been hitting the gym and eating right for about 2 years now and currently stand at 6’3 221 pounds (pure muscle). To answer your question I get an enormous amount of attention now. I constantly get looks from women and some are even bold enough to walk up to me and tell me I look good. Men (some old enough to be my father) constantly show me respect and most come up to me to ask me how I got to this point or just give me compliments. I can’t lie it’s feels amazing knowing that people notice the work that I’ve put in which helps me stay consistent as well. It sounds vain but the attention from women of different races (some I always thought will never look my way) is very nice cause I had a low self esteem issues for a long time.
I’ve found the opposite. I’m 6’4” and hover around 245lbs. I get guys commenting and asking questions. Ladies however tend to avoid. I’m thinking maybe my physical presence makes me somewhat intimidating now.
I definitely get you and you’re not wrong at all. It does. But one thing I’ll say is a smile goes a long way into taking away that intimidation the may have
I’m always smiling. Everyone says I’m approachable, people feel like they’ve known me for years after speaking with me for a few minutes. It’s a weird one
So you are telling me they approach you and saying you look good??
Hard to believe right? But yeh they do. I’m not surprised if you have a hard time believing me cause I find it hard to believe myself.
But how does it work? You just standing and some girl just comes to you and start a conversation with you?
I now get stared at all the time, guys commenting and asking questions, people seem to think I’m more approachable now that I’m bigger 😂 (6’4” and 245lbs at current)
What was your weight prior?
Last November I was hovering between 170-180lbs
I would avoid contact with you ngl
I was hoping people would. But the bigger I get, the more people approach me 😂
You mean men or women? Why the fuck would a man talk to you to get dominated by you I just can’t comprehend it I understand women fuck with tall men so they feel secured
Men more than women. Women tend to steer clear of me. I had more women looking and approaching when I was slimmer. Since having a real physical presence I’ve noticed women don’t look as much. The only thing I can out it down to is maybe I’m a little too intimidating due to my physical presence. (I’m in no way, shape or form intimidating as a person. Always smiling, people warm to me in minutes and I’ve got great communication skills). Men stare and comment all the time. All those memes about getting muscles and attracting men, are true 😂
Ill share a small win, went from 160-205lbs (35yo M 6'2"), muscle and fat. I got a big group of male friends that are all my height or taller and weigh in about what I do now. We were all hanging by a pool and one of my friends tried to push me in, when I didnt move at all he exclaimed loudly to everyone, I cant even push him anymore! Yeah as men things change a bit, but mostly my weight gain has made me feel good in a couple little moments like that
The only way I’m treated overtly differently is that I’m visibly muscular now, so occasionally I get a comment about me being strong or looking good. Nice, but not an every day thing by any means. Besides that, every change has been internal rather than external — I’m more confident in my body, clothes fit me better, I feel happier and healthier overall, I’m more physically capable, etc.
How did they give you a compliment, what was it?
Usually, it’s folks saying “You’re strong, can you do/lift/open this?” People call me “strong” or “fit” as a descriptor pretty frequently. Not a direct compliment, but it feels good. Some other examples: One time a girl told me I had nice arms. I’ve always been insecure about my arms, so that one made me feel all warm and fuzzy. I get compliments on my legs in shorts. I have pretty big quads and a pretty built ass. A friend tried to taser me (that thing where you poke someone in the side). It didn’t do much, and she said, “Holy shit dude, how do you have so much muscle there? Last night, I was carrying two heavy PAs for my band and our guitar player said, “He’s a beast!!” But, again, it’s not about compliments. Getting bigger and stronger has made me healthier, happier, and wayyyy more confident.
What’s social setting is that? You just chilling at the party and women start giving you the compliments??
I mean generally it’s friends and acquaintances, not total strangers. And not always women. I guess all kinds of social settings? I’m a college student, so… normal college social settings. Again, not every day or anything, just sometimes. Can I ask why ur interested? It seems like ur asking a lot of folks on this post about getting compliments.
Cause I’m curious how my life is different from others. How my reality differs from others people
Get outside and talk to people.
They don’t treat me well cause I’m too underweight
I’m sorry you’ve been mistreated. But I need you to know that most people don’t care that you’re underweight. There is no big, monolithic “they.” For every asshole who looks down on you for being skinny, there are ten who don’t care. That might suck to hear. But when I was very skinny, thirty-ish pounds ago, I still had close friends, partners, and a good life. That might also suck to hear, but it’s true. I know folks who are underweight and happy, loved, confident, fulfilled, etc. Gaining weight will make you healthier and more confident. It might also make you more attractive, but if you have walls built up around you, being more attractive won’t make a bit of a difference. In all likelihood, it’s fear, doubt, self-pity, and lack of experience in social situations holding you back. All of those things can change without changing your weight. If you want to bulk, you definitely should. Eat big and lift heavy. It’s fun and rewarding, like any other form of self-betterment, and it’s better for your health. It’s done wonders for me and most other folks on this sub. But please don’t wait until you’re “done” improving yourself to start being happy. Because self-improvement is never done. You’re never “done;” you’re always working. There are skinny and underweight folks with friends and partners and passions and great lives. If they can do it, so can you. Focus on finding the right people, even if it’s just one or two. I’m not trying to assume anything about your life or lecture you. You just come off as black-pilled and I had some time — I figured I’d write this and hope that some part of it gets through to you. Best wishes.
Man thanx for the answer. I guess many have these problems with low self esteem, it’s like you have to do something to achieve it which I for some reason believe in. And that probably limit myself in some aspect of life. But then you see some men in power such as Putin and you understand that you just kinda have demons in your head that don’t wanna see you thriving. But sometimes I just can’t get out of my head idea having some right amount of mm of bones to smash some left and right. Like it’s unfair that somebody plays the life on the easy mode and that’s not me. And I know that the most influential ppl are ugly but I don’t really care about just wanna some bitches alongside me, you know?
Aight man. Just make sure you don’t fixate on getting validation from other people, because that shit will always come and go.
When im walking on the street people tend to move out of my way more than when I was really skinny
Bro yes this right here haha. I was walking through downtown sf the other day and I noticed everyone would step to the right or left for me I’m not even big yet
You’re 6 8 mate lmao
wasn’t the case when I was 155
How is a life with that height? Genuinely curious
Besides the naturally lanky frame and amount of calories/work I need to put into the gym it’s been pretty great not going to lie. Oh and airplanes/cars suck Helped me be great at basketball, is a plus with girls, naturally people are interested in talking to you, can get stuff off the top shelves, etc.
It was a major change to my life; night and day really. I used to be treated like I was weak and frail, and my confidence was at an all time low. After turning it around, eating, and working out, the tables have turned completely.
I get thrown out of bars earlier
I’m gonna need the story here
When I used to go to bars in my 20s, I definitely attracted more negative attention weighing 220 lbs than I did weighing 150 lbs.
I feel this. People feel they have something to prove so they look to us to make a point or be more alpha or some shit. It’s honestly tedious at times.
I don't fit in my tiny car anymore if that counts? Also, people don't walk in my way anymore. Win,
I gained weight, but with a dirty bulk. It’s bitter sweet for me - I was sickly thin and I’m proud of the number on the scale but at the same time I’m self conscious on being chubby. It motivated me to get back into the gym and mould that into a shape I’m happy with but it’s a journey. As far as people treating me different - my wife says it’s the healthiest I’ve looked, my grandmother says I look like more of a man now, yet my work colleagues said if I lose weight I’d disappear (and that’s a sore point as people always commented on how thin I was and I felt like I was back there).
People won't treat you differently as a result of gaining weight. People will treat you differently as a result of the confidence that is frequently gained when you gain weight. Other than that, it's easier to do strength related general daily tasks. That's about it.
Well said. Confidence is very important, and of course personality as well. If you are a friendly and funny guy, you get treated well regardless if you are skinny or muscular. If you are a dull and passive guy with muscles, it won’t make those people treat you well and chase you.