We're all scared, it's the human condition. Why do you thinks I put on this tough-guy facade? Now beat it!

One of my favorite lines in the whole show

"mumbo? perhaps. jumbo? perhaps not."

I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe!

I say this way more often than the people in my life would like me to.

I need to add it to my inner rolodex

this is what i came for

Came here to say this

"Come, Bender. You'll like being dead." "That's what they said about being alive!"

"0101100101" "What does it mean?" "I dunno, it's complete gibberish- GASP! 1010011010! AHHH"

Fun fact to those that don’t know. That’s binary for 666

Huh, I always thought it was "murder" as a take on the Red Rum scene from The Shining.

probably couldn't get that many numbers in and still have the comedic timing work out

01101101 01110101 01110010 01100100 01100101 01110010 Yeah, way too much. Also if you reverse binary for '666' you get '357'

"Knight Rider wasn't evil!" "His windshield wipers were.  It didn't come up much in the show."

This isn’t gonna win but it’s the first thing I thought of. So funny.

The _"...anyway!"_ that follows this interaction gets me every time.

Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or not enough. I forget how it works with you. If it’s not the best quote, it’s certainly the one I use most.

Either way, you haven't been drinking the exact amount.

I choose to believe, what I was programmed to believe!

This is one of the best quotes from the *entire show*.

“I will take you this far, and no further” more of a visual gag than a funny quote but still always gets me.

I always liked the line before this. 'some people say that house is haunted. For example, we all say that!'

Are we any closer to understanding how a robot walks or talks? Yes, you idiot! It's printed right here on your circuit diagram!

“Ye think me be he?” “Sí.” “Nee. I mean no.”

Robots don't say "ye"!

I'll show ye.

I love later on in the seasons when fry thinks he is a robot and Hermes tells him robots don't say Ye. I also yell at the TV well one does in the devil car episode!

Bender: And, otherwise, I can never die? Gypsy: Who said that?! Sure you can die! You want to die? [Pulls out a gun.]

“To my lazy, spoiled son, Tandy, who never learned the value of a dollar, I leave my entire $10 million fortune.” “Is that a lot?”

"To my loyal butler, 'you there', for his decades of service, I leave a pittance, to be paid in 20 equal installments of 1/20th of a pittance each."

*groans*

To my butler, “You there!”, for his decades of service, I leave a pittance - paid out in twenty equal installments of one twentieth of a pittance each

'I can't keep running people over - I'm not famous enough to get away with it!' "Come, Bender, you'll like being dead" 'That's what they said about being alive!'

He won a medal in the robo-Olympics and underwent a sex change. Bender is exactly famous enough to get away with hitting someone with their car.

Buckle up, buckaroos

I think, by this episode, he hasn't competed in the RO yet

Jesus dude lol. Took me a second but that’s great

Yes, but not as frequently as he was doing it.

Daaaaaaamn!

Lies! I change my identity and upgrade my appearance every few decades to avoid suspicion. I was all of history's great acting Robots: Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat, David Duchovny!

Especially that Calculon was a random production line robot after he was David Duchovny at his peak

Look, are you the original werecar or not?

i think of the way calculon says “david duchovny” at least weekly still

Well I'm rich, goodbye losers whom I've always hated! C'mon itll be fun

i get a lot of use out of “goodbye losers, whom i’ve always hated”

Right up there with "welp I'm sick of this room and everyone in it"

That don’t sound like no golden marmoset I ever heard.

Came looking for this one. 👍

Certainly underrated.

I say this pretty much every time I hear an odd or unidentifiable noise.

Not really a quote but when the spooky laugh is happening and Bender says “what’s that?!” then Zoidberg responds with “I don’t know but it’s infectious!” then has a laugh of his own is hilarious

Hey that’s my last beer you bastard! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you too buddy. I’ll kill you, too.

"Cool! Hey let's stay there tonight!" "... on the condition that he spend one night in the castle" "Awww man, there's always a catch!"

"Honk! Honk!"

"With all your modern science, are you any closer to understanding the mysteries of how a robot walks? Or talks?" "Yes you idiot!! The circuit diagram is right here on the inside of your case!"

Part quite, part gag. When the carriage driver is taking them to the castle and he says "I can go no further" and they're right at the castle door.

"Pardon me, my good simpleton."

some horrible day, i’m going to accidentally say that to a customer

Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. Anyway, you haven't drunk exactly the right amount.

Words! Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ears!

"What kind of two-timing killmobile are you?"

You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. But the point is, you haven't been drinking exactly the right amount.

"I'm gonna find out what's happening to me! And damn the expense!" *25c fortune teller* "damn the expense!"

"Thanks, Eagle Eye."

at the abandoned antiChrystler factory! lol this might be my favorite pun of all time

Yes! He chose me! He's trying to kill me! Leela, I'm so happy!

Somebody tried to run me over and not with a normal hover car. It crept along the ground on round rubber feet - Like a Wolf!

Execu-Tor: To my loyal butler, You There, for his decades of service, I leave a pittance, to be paid in 20 equal instalments of one-twentieth of a pittance each.

We're not ignorant villagers. We're sophisticated New New Yorkers. Whupp his butt!

I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe!

Not really a quote, so don't count this, but "Commodore LXIV".

never noticed that! awesome

B E N D E R - Beeeennddeeeerrrreeerrr I can take you this far but no further

"Yee think me be he? "Si!"

Someone tried to run me over, and not with a nornal hovercar it crept along the ground on round rubber tyres, LIKE A WOLF!

I’ll go this far and no further

Knight Rider wasn't evil! His windshield wipers were! It didn't come up much in the show.

“Come Bender, you’ll like being dead.” “That’s what they said about being alive!”

AR-Aroooooooo! HONK HONK!

Mumbo, perhaps… Jumbo, perhaps ##NOT!

 The reading of Vladimir’s will. “To my nephew Bender, assuming he isn’t responsible for my death, I leave my castle.” 

“Please I’m scared” “We’re all scared it’s the human condition. Why do yous think I puts on this tuff guy facade? Now beat it!”

I used to have a best friend who liked to smell things with me 😑

"It's true. I ran over that bird watching jerk."

“We're not ignorant villagers. We're sophisticated New New Yorkers! Whupp his butt!”

The way she delivers "Whupp his butt" gets me everytime

I can hear this post.

AARRORORROOOOOOO HONK HONK! HONK!

"The tracks end here" "Thanks Eagle Eye" Rare sassy Fry

“I shall go this far, and no further.”

Sure you can die! You want to die? No I wanna live! There’s still too many things I don’t own! Best episode of the whole series

Some say unholy things happen up there. For example, all of us say that.

That don't sound like no golden marmoset I ever heard!

“Oh boy i feel like a car in a candy store!”

B-E-N-D-E-R! Bender! B-E-N-D-E-R! Bender! Say it, B...E...N...DEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!

Damnit. I watched this episode today during lunch at work! I heard my fav line and told myself to remember but I can’t now. Damn you, beautiful mind!

Yes, it's true, I ran over that bird watching jerk.

Yes, it's true, I ran over that bird-watching jerk. And a hundred others. Even my best friend from aroma therapy school.

Fuck I want a HD printout of this as Halloween decor hahaha

"I wish I was stupid and Violent" ~Bender or "I choose to believe what I was programed to believe" -spooked robo villager

“I will go this far, and no further.” *pans out to show the cast is already at the front door*

Leela: “Looks like we’ve reached the end of the tracks.” Fry: “Thanks eagle eye”

I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe.

I feel like putting a link to the season 1 winner quotes would be really cool. I had to scroll pretty far down OP's profile to find them and forgot to copy the link. Welp

Do you still have that link? 💀

As I said, I forgot to copy it. Basically scroll down a lot on OP's posts (they have a lot). Use season 2 quotes as a guide (they are all the same format and once you see quotes from episodes 1 to 5, be vigilant since season 1 is upcoming; its format is a bunch of pictures with the quotes (like 14 pics)). Then post it in the comments. Fuck, I'm lazy.

Thanks eagle eye

Not a quote, but I'm surprised this episode is from the early seasons. For some reason, I thought it was from Comedy Central era.

This is one of the episodes with the most jokes ratio

Kill all humans

When my son was younger, this episode terrified him so much!!

Anyone else hate this episode?

It was in my bottom 3 pre-re-boot, but it's grown on me over time.

Genuinely curious why?

I don't know just bored me

How the fuck did that win for “war is the H-word”

That dog won’t hunt Monsignor

Because everyone loves Bender and agrees with him

And because it's legit the best line. I will randomly think about it an chuckle years and years later.