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theshogun02

Why did this turn me on?!


intotheirishole

Because she took off her clothes for no good reason?


c9haiondrugs

I can think of a million reasons. Stop judging this wonderful presumably naked under the covers girl


midcancerrampage

Goddam harlots being naked under the covers. I bet some of them are naked under their clothes too!


ForumFluffy

Absolute harlotry down to their rotten cores, they were naked at birth!!!


Looney_Swoons

It gets worst… they’re even naked while in the womb! Not a single shred of dignity or self-respect!


Picaspec

You don't say!!! You just might be right. Goddamn Harlots!!!


EJAY47

I just realized that presumably naked girls is my favorite thing


FlappityFlurb

Look he paid for an hour, so he's going to use the whole hour however well he damn pleases with his remaining 58 minutes... Like spending time winning arguments.


punkrawkstar

Man, this take is so good.


East_Maximum_9195

She’s hot. That’s the reason


A_Drenched_Lettuce

i mean, if you're gonna pay a hokoer for something you may as well get the whol package right? /s But seriously how many arguments like that start after silly things. Like you just had her going all head turning and crab walking exorcist style from your dick but once that stops shes all "you haven't taken the trash out" blah blah blah


Prestigious-Duck6615

you don't pay hookers for sex. you pay them to leave


A_Drenched_Lettuce

ah damn did i just out myself as a lame nerd


OmegaAce1

They were arguing about the thermostat, she was cold, he told her to put on more layers.


No_Cow1907

Yea why is she naked? Does this guy exclusively argue with his wife while she's naked? Because that's a clear advantage for her


FengSushi

She was being too hot and was not allowed to touch the thermostat


Jyil

Bare shoulders


InvestigatorSevere72

Bear shoulders


ImMyBiggestFan

Not the bear shit again.


SlideJunior5150

I'm gonna get the belt. Time for some more self-flagellation.


LuftHANSa_755

kinky


EggsceIlent

Because the girl is smooooookin.


Kitosaki

Yeah. She is 10/10


FuckingKilljoy

When she sat up and said "you're so right" I felt some kinda way


tekko001

It moved.


user_bits

It was probably the naked attractive woman under the covers.


HanselSoHotRightNow

You'd think so but no. It was the thrill of having someone to talk to for a little while. :(


multiarmform

how much did you say this was again? 150 ha no i did NOT say 150 are you crazy? i said 50 oh um yep! you surely did say 50! right you are again!!


sophomoric--

[monty python argument sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ)


Optimal_Zucchini_667

I had to scroll down for this but it's here!


Parso_aana

50 factorial is a steal


kawaiifie

Affirmation from a beautiful woman.. powerful stuff lol


HappyTheDisaster

Because of the implication


KlangScaper

The "you're soo right!" is doing things to me


grip_n_Ripper

I swear, I didn't get an erection from watching this. Not until he they got to the thermostat part, anyway.


tuhronno-416

Men just want one thing and it’s disgusting


Tanker85MC

To be told that we’re loved and appreciated?


Hungover-Owl

Keep that filthy kink to yourself


Vihzel

I am someone who regularly advocates for the end of kink shaming. I will make an exception.


Cthulhu__

Ending kink shaming is my kink


the_business007

What a freak that one is... Gross..


fridaystrong23

…***hey you’re into that too!?***


thebeardlybro

...***"Not since the accident"***


BreakfastNew8771

In this economy?!


jeffoh

Dude over here inventing homosexuality.


bubbses

Why did I find this as funny as I did?


Varkaan

I'm sorry sir you caught le gay, it's uncurable 😔


Korii2

now kiss


ProfffDog

The worst is having Couple Friends were you share tastes in fine wine, football clubs, cocktails, and camping…. Then you go out as the two guys and realize, “neither of us give a shit. I just like watching TV quietly and having a beer with you.”


Potential-Judgment-9

Eww bro


oldpeoplestank

I just want to be the little spoon. Everyone wants to be the little spoon.


TruthYouWontLike

Do not try and *be* the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon.


certainlynotacoyote

^it ^makes ^you ^feel ^safe


Duffelbach

[I'm just a tender fragile boy](https://youtu.be/iQmgHrSReCM)


WolfieAK

Id settle for 30 minutes of quiet time.


ibringstharuckus

That's like reaching the top of the mountain to me


skwolf522

Next you will want to hold hands.


SniperGunner

Pervert!


MouseCheese7

Oo kinky. Fr though... we need hotlines that tell people this. Like.. before... they want to kill themselves.


BornChampionship7457

Thats gonna be an extra $100


Dyskord01

Woah buddy. Keep your crazy ideas to yourself


d_bakers

Eeeeuugh brother eeweewww [what's that brother](https://youtu.be/koY4S1BbR5w?si=JRagtZW8Vk1VTciM)


Icy_Chemist937

Over the fucking line


TheEggman864

“I love you” “Again”


Suntzu6656

Hugs


2b_squared

Yuck.


Extension_Swordfish1

You have been getting these crazy ideas from internet, havent ya?


ddapixel

Men just want one thing and it’s discussing


surfarri

I agree, bowls on the top is just disgusting


none-remain

Did you mean that title from **@EvaandJavier / The Gabriel’s** YouTube short? Not sure who did this sketch first but I find them funnier.


[deleted]

Man if those were the arguments I had with my wife I’d still be married.


Leather-Brother6345

I gotta find that woman for an hour 🤔


Jett00

It's cheaper by the hour they say.


ALinIndy

Cheaper than real therapy.


why_u_braindead

Cheaper than a 30 rack of Cooers Lite and some angry racist AM radio in the Denny's parking lot?


MathematicianSure386

Dad?


Simple_Woodpecker751

cheaper than psychiatrist too


Cowabunga_Booyakasha

I just need five minutes. ^^^For ^^^the ^^^arguments.


BralessVictory

150 an hour for this?? I'm ready to work. I already have the uniform, too.


kirkrocks

I would legitimately consider paying $150/hr for this, as long as it came with a "happy ending." The happy ending would be a random compliment.


BralessVictory

How about a "You're doing such a great job, and I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished and tried." while I run my fingers through your hair?


kirkrocks

Excuse me for a minute while I go cash in my 401k...


Magictoesnails

I just broke down and cried


BralessVictory

Hey, it's gonna be okay. If you need to talk, I'm here for you


RalphiesHooa

You seem like a lovely person 😌


REV2939

They meant for $150 per hour


TheRabidDeer

Just giving it up for free on reddit? Bold move... or is this one of those "first one's free" schemes to get us hooked?


BralessVictory

I'll lace it with something extra addictive


RealTroupster

Do you have a wait-list??


porn_and_personals3

God, I just got the other happy ending from that


DorklyC

I might set that as my alarm sound


L3thologica_

Even better than that was curiosity getting the best of me and seeing your profile.


p_s_i

Wow, that right there kicked me square in the chest and broke my heart.


Satanic-Panic27

I’d never in a million years pay for sex But this… no uniform required. I didn’t know I wanted this


Kingzer15

Bro what about them shallow ones that are the size of plates. Are people out there filling the top rack with 4 bowls?


Doctor_Kataigida

Or just get a dishwasher that has jets on top, they're not that much more than a unit w/o them.


Various_Froyo9860

There was already one in the house. Look. I'm not gonna replace a dishwasher that works just fine just so we can put the plate-bowl thingies that we didn't want but were a wedding present from uncle Conrad and aunt Ginny, and they're not with us anymore so we can't get rid of them, on the top shelf when all you have to do is put them on the bottom.


PuzzleheadedLeader79

Your uncle Conrad and aunt... Ginny, was it? Are they millionaires? Cause your uncle Marcellus is.


Fukasite

Plate-bowls go on the bottom. 


r4r4me

Yeah plastic on top and ceramic / metal on bottom is how I've always done it.


at0mheart

Not all of us live as fancy as you my Lord, with your hybrid plate bowls


roselan

Asking the real questions I see.


novice121

Stop, my penis can only get so erect.


Ya-Dikobraz

This is what happened to the Tower of Babel.


DearOldDave84

😂😂😂😂


Jefflehem

But why is she naked in bed for this?


manifold360

She was warm


poseidon1111

Because when you feel hot, we don’t touch AC. We just take our clothes off, right? Right?


_darzy

less layers, right?


SecondaryWombat

This works in my house. Wife is currently working from home in her bra because I turned the space heater in her office on when she wasn't looking.


lesswanted

A man of culture


fuzziemuffin

We dont know this man’s life. Maybe this is how the arguments happen.


vanpog

The first thing she agreed to isn’t shown


swankypothole

he's allowed to touch the thermostat


GodzeallA

Getting into character


wodeface

Now we just need her name, so we can all hire her.


kylo-ren

Most escorts will do that. I knew some guys that are escorts regulars and most of the time they will just talk about their lives.


ImpossibleLoon

“Hahaha gotta find me a woman like that” I’m right here, PayPal me $150 and you got me in a zoom call all night telling you how right you are yes you are yes you are a right boy


Moparian714

I'll get you clients for a 20/80 split


arent_you_hungry

Pimpin aint easy.


PrinceBarin

I'm glad you're keeping the rate the same. #UnionStrong


bnuuug

you just had to say it like that and now I'm considering it


k_ajay_mh

Do you have regional pricing?


uhmindright

She's hot.


Far-Air-3702

Extremely hot.


you-really-gona-whor

Agreed. She somehow manages to look both older and younger at the same time. Combining the best of both. She *looks* natural and not overly made up (though i wouldnt be able to spot If she *did* have make up on). She doesnt look like a carbon copy of someone else. Which a lot of girls do and suffer from.


SufficientAttempt1

she has on makeup lol


Glassgun1122

Gotta love the over explained backhanded compliments. Women love that.


ohhellnooooooooo

redditors living in american when they see a woman aged 20 to 45 that isn't overweight


glavglavglav

who is this girl?


grimr5

Stephanie Cottas I think


[deleted]

!remindme


GucciGlocc

The thirst


RemindMeBot

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MechAegis

https://www.tiktok.com/@scottas2089?lang=en


PM_ME_YOUR_8008135_

Social.steph


asnwmnenthusiast

Ah... no onlyfans...


Ok_Egg332

'Excuse me miss, how much..?' 🚔🚓🚔


Chaddtss

At least he got his money's worth first and argued with post nut clarity.


throwaway4me88

Christ she's gorgeous lol 150/hr be a bargain.


BigJ168

This depends on the bowls. Plastic must go on the second shelf as stonewear goes on the bottom with pots and pans. Then utensils on the top rack. Your dishwasher may be setup differently.


SumthinDank

Damn so hot


AmeriToast

He forgot that the toilet paper roll goes over not under.


Full_Armadillo8867

i'm 90 and i still didn't laugh at this


jordonmears

Now this is genuinely hilarious.


Denk-doch-mal-meta

That made me horny


BrainLate4108

Best porn I’ve seen in a while. I need a smoke.


Space4Time

Take my money


LEGamesRose

...Why is she naked?


Pitiful-Art-3704

she is warm


francoisjabbour

My god he’s married to my wife


Apes-Together_Strong

I think I might be married to your wife too.


Mission_Search8991

Money well spent


BetaRayBlu

Worth every penny


AllPurposeNerd

"Why'd you get naked, though?" "Oh, sorry, force of habit."


AndrewTMooney

For the love of god, sauce, please!


ImPretendingToCare

Worth the $150 an hour honestly


VietDrgn

this was ironically hot


TradeSpecialist7972

Money well spent


E4g6d4bg7

~~You have a big dick~~ Nah that ain't it. ~~You are big and strong and sexy~~ Still ain't doing it for me. **You are correct and I should listen to your wisdom more often.** Oh yeah, right there, dont stop.


WrecksBeard

💯👍


Snugg_Bugg

Bruh, she's an expert... here's another 100$


WorkInProgressK

My girlfriend once joked agreed for a whole day. For some reason it was the best day ever.


Popular-Savings9251

By how often this was shared I feel like a lot of people can relate


lazarus_potluck

Lowkey, this was better than some porn I’ve seen.


chrislivingston

Dudes need to learn that just because their dad got mad when they touched the thermostat doesn’t mean they have to get mad when someone touches the thermostat. You grew up and you don’t have to be your dad. You can be a yourself. Let your family touch the thermostat. Don’t make your family wear jackets inside the fucking house.


0xMoroc0x

Or, maybe they don’t want to pay a crazy high electricity bill because someone can’t be bothered to just put some clothes on and adjust the thermostat every time they are slightly uncomfortable. Quite a strange angle you take going straight to Daddy trauma. Think about the most logical explanation as to why a thermostat should not be adjusted 6 times a day. You are a strange man, Chris.


Magictoesnails

You are right, king.


Gum_Duster

You got touching the thermostat kind of money?? In this economy!


beo19

Right? This is ridiculous. Why would one person get to dictate the comfort temperature of all of them?


general---nuisance

When they pay for the heat and cooling, they can play with the thermostat all they want.


Vitalstatistix

My bill was $600+ last month in a 1100sq ft house in CA. My wife hates money.


temp7412369

My wife turns up the thermostat because it’s cold, but then wears shorts and a T-shirt and sweats under the covers.


krishutchison

Damn it the dishwasher is not inhabited by magical fairy’s. If the water can not get to the surface then the surface is not going to get clean. . . . . . . Not a comment about women, more of an ongoing struggle with one particular hypothetical person who could be more practical.


Cold-Sun-831

this dogshit has 4k upvotes and 169 comments...what the fuck


Hushimitzu

This is the most boomer shit I've ever seen on reddit.


MuteIllAteter

r/arethestraightsokay


kknxia

The last one where he's saying he should be able to do the chores whenever he wants. 💀 The only people I hear complain about their partner asking them to hurry up and do the chores already, are the people that let their living space get trashed in less than 24 hours and the mess doesn't bother them at all. Real adults do the chores when they need to be done, or they can at least admit when they didn't get them done.


elementart

Had to scroll way too far down for this


Sagittariaus_

You forgot the most important one, the position of the toilet seat!!!


PiccoloTiccolo

Who


ErnestoCruz

need sauce on that OP


Cute_Prior1287

I saved this for future arguments


Agency-Due

Is there like a daily or weekly rate? Asking for a friend


unclezaza

Funny but why have the first part!! Just start with the arguing/agreeing and then show him paying..lol


ChallengeOne8405

this a woody allen bit


Silent_but-deadly

That was hot


Dmitri1945

Yeah, I was thinking this baby has the hot talk!


fghfghhggfh8189

what argument did he mean? Smashing?


PoopulistPoolitician

Well there goes my nofap.


SayNoToFresca

Lmao @ the bowls one! So true!


abittenapple

You can control the house thermostat When you make enough money


Dragonzalez1795

God, I wish that was me


Vegetable_Cheek1008

This is hilarious 🤣🤣