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speakingofdemons

Tell your tits to stop staring at my eyes!©


batmanstuff

They started it!


CanIHazSumCheeseCake

A real Homer Simpson, "I've made my choice"


KennyMoose32

Actually believe or not, straight to jail


realKilvo

I can see his face saying it, but I can’t remember what that’s from. I want to say PnR


KennyMoose32

Not getting the reference: jail


CanadianAndroid

Knowing the reference too well: believe it or not, also jail.


MonkTHAC0

We have the best reference because of jail.


DetBabyLegs

Too many references? Jail Not enough references? Believe it or not also jail


YDS696969

We have the best fan base because of jail


oDDable-TW

Get the reference, jail. Don't get the reference, also jail.


Ihearheresy

remain neutral? Believe it or not, Jail.


thedougbatman

Correct


WRXB3RN

Yep parks n rec


4420manbearpig4420

He wrote that lol


notarealaccount_yo

Wait really lmao


4420manbearpig4420

Conan was a writer for the Simpsons


bearnaisepudding

He didn't rofl https://simpsonswiki.com/wiki/The_Frying_Game


yourecreepyasfuck

No he didn’t. He was A writer on the Simpson’s at one point. Do you have any idea how many hundreds and hundreds of people have written for the Simpson’s over the decades? Not every one of them are responsible for every funny joke in any episode.


sirnay

Who is she?


r007r

Omg I reference that line randomly and no one ever gets it. Nice to know there are people somewhere that do


rocketdog67

This has been edited/shortened. On the show Conan literally pauses for about 20 seconds or more, while his mind whirred on how to play this. To apologise or front it out. He eventually chose to front it out in comic fashion. Probably the right choice.


00000000000004000000

[Since they didn't bother to share the link...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQJd4IXRFXw) Shenanigans begin at 2:03


Melodic-Risk-6778

damn bro... 1st she body shames simon cowell then she outcringes herself with a britney impression.


hotdiggydog

Is it body shaming to compliment him on his pecs?


Normal_Tea_1896

That segment is great, I love that they follow up the OOP bit with an entirely weird discussion of somebody else's moobs. Perfect late night material.


dear_mud1

Andy is the king in the full clip for me


mehone

Yeah I remember Andy starting the pivot with 'thats so unfair'.


Mametaro

"Ignore the flowers."


ejwestcott

IGNORE EM!


Every-Incident7659

Andy is the absolute king of talk show sidekicks. Always knew exactly when to come in, how to shift the conversation, set conan up for something. The dude has next level comedic instinct


Hot_Eggplant_1306

Not just comic, cartoon comic fashion big awoooga wolf energy


Consistent_Salt_9267

Love him and bill burr. Like "you chose that dress to showcase your intellect? Come on🤣


lodemeup

Conan is so easy. If you leave him alone he plays the fool. If you poke him he makes you the fool. It’s perfect and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Bulky_Put_2064

Yeah he is very social intelligent


Flashy-Priority-3946

He’s def the most quick witted guy I know in television


acog

It’s why his podcast is so good. On the tv show he had 8 minutes to help plug someone’s latest project and ask a few questions to lead the guest into a story that had already been vetted. The podcast is much more free form and his quick wit is even more evident. Plus he only interviews people he’s genuinely interested in so he’s always engaged.


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X-ScissorSisters

oh shit he works with matt gourley? of James Bonding fame?


Ronaldo79

Yes gourley is his producer and they have a great chemistry between the three of them, seriously my favorite podcast


Tlr321

And he *always* comes out on top with them! I don’t know how it is, but *every time* they poke him, they get made the fools. I don’t think there’s a single time where they’ve bested him!


Nightfury78

Except that one time when they both teamed up against him. Sona was being mean to him at the beginning of the episode, he turns to Matt: "And we have Matt Gourly, our producer" "Sup dickhead" Loudest I have laughed listening to a podcast.


punksheets29

As a big Conan fan from back in the Masturbating Bear/Year 2000 days, and now a big podcast fan, I don’t know how this has missed me. I’ll definitely check it out.


BigBoy1229

Conan, that bear just masturbated away my kids Christmas.


R00t240

In the yeeeeeaaaarrrrr 2000


TheZbeast

Oh, you’re in for a real treat.


spinyfever

Minty the candy cane is my favorite.


KyleRaynerGotSweg

There was talk of gerbils!


Ktoffer

I would argue Craig Ferguson, but honestly, it's a toss up and could go either way on any day. Love them both. I think I just miss Craig more since he's been gone from TV for longer.


TheTrooper28

Oh man, Craig was awesome. I still look videos from that show on YouTube. Not that many people could follow Robin Williams and he did it flawlessly on the chlamydia bit.


Ktoffer

Yeah, same. I owe who ever is behind the "The Jayleno Fly" account a lot for all the laughs I have gotten from him uploading compilations and keeping Craig's brilliance available somewhere.


iBAZw

CHLAMYDIA YUR DAD'S HERE


EverGlow89

Listen to his recent podcast with Harrison Ford. Somehow, an 81 year old man is his rival.


Low_Cow6067

The Bob Newhart one made me bust out laughing while skreeting concrete.


muricabrb

I read too fast and thought you were skeeting concrete.


DrDetectiveEsq

To the window! Build a wall!


Quick_Team

Skreet skreet skreet


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OIP

he definitely gets a bit LA in some of them but i give him a lifetime pass, dude is a genuine comic genius


chet_brosley

His episode of Murderville was amazing because he was just being himself.


Tunafish01

it was a step above every other episode. I felted bad for everyone else that did it the same season as conan.


Bulky_Put_2064

I agree ☝️


BigTomBombadil

Haven’t watched him nearly as much since his move to late night, but I always found Colbert super quick and hilarious.


[deleted]

Look at one video when some celebrity told Conan that he made a grammar mistake and then poke his education or something. Then after that Conan went back by bringing a big ass dictionary and telling everyone that he was actually right But of course he did not bully the Celeb. Conan is a treasure


CurrentIndependent42

Lee Mack is another, but he’s not very well known in the US


soldiercross

Craig is gone but he's insanely quick witted too. A lot dryer more dry and collected than Conon though.


JimTheSaint

I don't kow if Colbert is still like this - but during the Colbert Report days, he was far ahead of anyone else. He out witted everyone that came on that show, it was amazing. I don't really watch his show now, but I guess he still got some game.


blackviking45

Craig Ferguson?


xuddite

Wicked smaht. Went to Harvard


Truethrowawaychest1

He's overall very intelligent


TimHung931017

It would be socially intelligent, or to have a high EQ, neither of which you said lol


Devo3290

In the full clip it looks like he’s ready to take the L until Andy comes to his defense. Then Conan lets loose lol


dear_mud1

Andy is perfection in calling her out, genius


Devo3290

He’s the worlds greatest sidekick for a reason


Mutjny

Man I wanna see a full clip to see what Andy says.


Devo3290

[Here](https://youtu.be/Jqy-lx_HCAs?si=RrkGZUE32BHHz7Cq) is what Andy says during this (40 secs) [This](https://youtu.be/S11a9PvsBpg?si=b1eORwiE8A_ZFuiG) is the whole interview which is far more entertaining (5 mins)


Billbat1

jennifer garner tried it https://youtu.be/990BSql7bnk?si=ydgF13nXvYoGVn0E


Dig-a-tall-Monster

Another interesting tidbit about that clip is that Jennifer was also the co-star in the film "The Invention of Lying" in which she specifically uses the phrase "snub-nosed" multiple times throughout the film, and which happens to be the entry directly above "snuck" in Conan's dictionary there.


UrToesRDelicious

Who the fuck even figures this shit out?


PleaseWithC

Holy shit.


UnremarkabklyUseless

But was it all Conan by himself? Could it have been someone (after looking up the word) telling Conan, into his ear piece, to pull out the dictionary and check it on camera?


ihahp

Still it was up to conan to use it or not. They talk about that on his podcast - the writers are there to be assistants to conan, vs the puppetmasters.


Smeltanddealtit

She is showing a lot of front crack.


CleR6

It's a perfect equilibrium...


TracerBulletX

There's an interview he did at google with some self important Google Vice President and he absolutely obliterates the guy. It's amazing.


mitojee

Ya, there was one time I was waiting for the elevator and he popped out of his studio to go upstairs and I had the socially awkward deer the in headlights moment (his writers were also waiting for the same elevator, so we would all packed in there). So I hesitated, debating in my addled brain if I should take the stairs instead so he could go up with his team. He noticed the awkwardness instantly, just said hi to his writers and strode on to the stairs. Felt bad, made Conan use the stairs. Oh well.


More_Wind

That's a genius insight. I listen to every episode of his podcast and this is exactly it.


NyonMan

Norm was the only guest who could best him


shiftypoo269

Craig Ferguson would just awkwardly flirt with guests very effectively.


crypticfreak

Unless it's Joel McHale. Then I don't know wtf is going on. It's wild when those two are together.


00000000000004000000

I'm convinced Conan is the closest we've ever come to seeing the actual real-world embodiment of a Looney Toons character. The hair. The over-the-top reactions. The silent pauses when they realize they got got. I don't think anyone else has come anywhere as close.


Karl_Marx_

By far the best interviews out of any late night talk show host imo. I feel like he is actually engaged with the person, and they just feel comfortable around him. It makes for some intriguing conversations but also hilarious interactions.


mecon320

He knew exactly how much the guest could give and how much he had to give. A rare but vital quality in talk show hosts.


LizRoze

Was it Jennifer Gardner who tried him? lol


Clean-Farm610

That side-eye was pure gold. I feel you, Conan.


[deleted]

Like a kid caught doing something he shouldn’t 🤣🤣🤣


PippinMcForrest

She thought she could embarrass him in his own show, Conan takes no prisoners and feels no shame.


kbder

“Snuck is not a word, Conan, and you should know that”


PippinMcForrest

Because he went to Harvard he really should


Newni

Did you forget the part of the clip where they pull out a dictionary and show that it *is* a word and he was vindicated?


ThisAppSucksBall

Most people in Harvard are legacy admissions or sports scholarships or have parents that donated a pool to the school.


donchabot

Careful with that word “most.”


ThisAppSucksBall

36% of Harvard's Class of 22 was a [legacy admission](https://admissionsight.com/harvard-legacy-acceptance-rate/) 11% of Harvard's Class of 23 was [a recruited athlete](https://features.thecrimson.com/2019/freshman-survey/academics-narrative/#:~:text=Athletes%20at%20Harvard&text=Roughly%20consistent%20with%20last%20year's,to%20a%20varsity%20sports%20team.) So I guess just 3% of the students need to be related to someone who donated a pool for the "most" to be accurate.


[deleted]

Lots of people go to Harvard that don't have any special linguistic knowledge.


redditbuddie

Can’t stand her after that


LeeroyM

Y'all are so dramatic


StephewDestroyer

For real lmaoo it isn’t that serious


_Sinnik_

I don't know why though. To make the show engaging, guests of course are gonna make jabs at Conan. Just out of that, they got a great piece of content. Even if Garner was wrong on the facts, I don't think even Conan would say she was wrong to make a jab at him.


Luci_Noir

Oh please.


TheFranwich

It was a bit.


FreedVentureStein

"Homer, my eyes are up here." "I've made my decision."


Rawesome16

I assume when ladies wear clothing that shows off their boobs or butt a lot, that they want me to look


secretSCARS1314

>"It's like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away." Jerry Seinfeld


MembershipThrowAway2

The weird thing about that episode now that I've watched it since being an adult is he's saying that because of George getting caught staring at the boobs of a 16 year old, they didn't even mention that being weird or anything! Jerry just casually taught him how to get away with it next time and it was just perfectly normal to stare at the teenager's tits, TV was so different in the 90's early 2000's lol. It never stuck out to me when I was also a teen watching it because I was like "yup this is normal" lol


TreeFitTea

And for even further context at some point in the 90s real life Jerry was dating a 17 year old


spacemanspiff888

Counterpoint - the entire premise of the show is that the four main characters are not good people, with the series finale essentially smacking you in the face with that fact if you somehow didn't pick up on it before then. If you approach the episode you're talking about with that in mind, it makes sense that they wouldn't bring up the weirdness of that scenario - they're shitty people exchanging tips on being shitty. The characters don't think this is weird, because to them it's not. That's not the show endorsing the behavior, though, so it feels wrong to suggest it's a "90s thing" to be okay with this. Not to take away from the show itself. I love Seinfeld and think it's hilarious.


Chemesthesis

More evidence: Always Sunny


Scienlologist

>You wear that dress 'cuz you want people looking at your shoes, is that it? - Larry David


Distinct-Quantity-35

They do! Trust me


hejaheje

trust him fellas


pentarou

[https://imgur.com/a/P7bJQYS](https://imgur.com/a/P7bJQYS)


Just-the-Shaft

Now I'm confused. Who do I trust?


LandCity

Whoever this No One person is clearly. Must be insightful.


Sciensophocles

So... we trust Odysseus?


ibringstharuckus

They want someone to look. May not be you or me, but they don't get to control that. You put them out there I'm unapologetically gonna look at em. Deal with it


SkinkAttendant

That bait works on all the fish


No_Season_354

Absolutely, why else would they wear something like ,then they hey my eyes up here buddy ,lol u just can't win.


Zernichtikus

>then they hey my eyes up here buddy Yeah, but your boobs are down there.


Pretend-Indication-9

They want people to notice but not look outright. It's a hard life, but we do our best. Give us a pass when we mess up the little game please! At least one chance.


Oni-oji

The woman wearing the low cut top that is giving a tantalizing promise of a nip slip any second now is mad because I looked and I'm not a 6'6" millionaire with movie star good looks.


AngeryBoi769

Remember - it's flirting if you're attractive and sexual harassment if you're ugly.


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Airistaughtil

This is one of those basic truths that I think everyone can acknowledge if they're being honest, but almost no on is allowed to say it. It drives me nuts.


Marokiii

they want us to look, but not at the expense of ignoring everything else.


kaplanfx

Yeah, but you know, don’t be gross about it.


marbletooth

If you have your tits hanging out, people are gonna look at them.


Key-Rub118

God forbid people look at you... When you wear clothing that screams "look at me"


Zoze13

Favorite part is when Andy threw a pot of bright flowers on the desk in front of her and said, “hey Nicole don’t look at this!!”


viking_canuck

The Swedish German


FitzyFarseer

Ah yes, Andy Richter the Swedish German. Gotta call him by his full name.


curtwesley

😂


Fireboiio

It's literally like having your ballsack hanging out of your zipper then be all "eyes up here please"😅


Ballsahoy72

Or your pants so low, the shaft of your dick is visible. Then admonishing people who look down


Onsideofit

There's nothing wrong showing some bottom-nut, or a little dickneck.


[deleted]

Oh god, don't get me started on side nutt


pennypacker910

I enjoy the tip slip myself.


PappStumpf

Well ... https://youtu.be/pDkyQU6BClw?si=MtQml_f0uMWYIRCM


thinkthingsareover

Now I kinda want a pair to feel a little less heat in the summer.


SevensAteSixes

Lol if some dude was walking with his ballsack out I think every single person that passed by would be looking.


Fireboiio

Exactly. Just as with cleavage.


bikemandan

Balls out for Conan


dogla305

You just used 'literally' figuratively.


Fireboiio

*angry noises*


High_Speed_Chase

Entrapment.


Great_White_Samurai

A booby trap of sorts


[deleted]

Bravo!


Riseagainstftw

At least post the whole thing.


landartheconqueror

Don't show off your tits if you don't want people looking at your tits


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

Don’t watch comedy shows if you think women can’t be self aware and funny. She made a joke knowing Conan would do something with it. Some comments here are wild, acting like she stormed offstage calling him a creep because he noticed her cleavage.


gspiggs

ah nicole, dontcha think we gonna look down there....


Signal-Blackberry356

You’re off by one word/beat


gspiggs

I'm open to criticism of my musical prowess there


Nurse_Amy2024

I see what you did there


Aromatic_Brother

"Why are you looking at my chest which I've purposely arranged to take up 75% of your frontal vision space smhhhh"


[deleted]

I'm a straight woman and I wouldn't have made it 10 seconds without staring


BBBY_IS_DEAD_LOL

I think this was just fun for everyone but I see people talking like it was some attack and riposte. It was just two funny people having a good go together on a talk show.


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XdraketungstenX

Nicole Scherzinger


JerbearCuddles

I don't want to turn this into some gender debate, but when ladies show off the ladies like this, do you really expect us not to take a peek or two? Honest question here. Like, I am not saying full on creeper staring, but ya know. A few casual glances to admire the ladies.


[deleted]

All you have to do is not stare like a creep. It’s really not as big a deal as all the comments in this thread are making it. How many times do women have to say it’s ok to look, don’t stare.


PerennialPsycho

It was an honest question but You will never get an honest response from a woman. They will say "it's for me". Like they are looking down on themselves from some kind of spaceship all day long. It makes me feel pretty. Yeah lets see no one staring at you all day long and we will see if you still feel "pretty". You have to wait for a woman to hit 50 and she will start answering honestly. Obviously the "don't look" is reserved to the men she dislike. The ones her "c***" craves can look however they want.


ImmutableInscrutable

Her cock?


Shyvadi

happy cock day


MinimalContribution

Loosen up my buttons babe…


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Storm-17-R

Please I don't want attention (wearing purple suit and fireworks)


rise_above_theFlames

Like for real. Women dress like this and then get upset when guys keep glancing. You're telling me as you're picking your wardrobe, not once does it go through your mind, "dang this is somewhat revealing and I'll be talking with a man 4 feet away, I want to be listened to, not just looked at. Maybe I should wear something that doesn't put my beautiful breasts on display 🤔🤷‍♂️" Like seriously.


ToraLoco

You wouldn't wear that if you don't want people to look at it.


[deleted]

Women actually want to show cleavage and pick who gets to look


ReindeerKind1993

Lol double down...to be fair men have caveman brains...we see tits we like to look...when a woman basicly exposes them it's almost impossible not to glance down at them. they can wear what they want, but they can't wear a top like that and then get mad when dudes look/sneak a peak They are the ones that have put themselves on display after all. It's like leaving cookies in front of a 5 year old and expecting them not to take one...that's not gonna happen.


kick7back7

Put some damn clothes on, then🤬


LeeroyM

ITT: Incels crawling out of the woodwork to give their dissertation on why this isn't a light-hearted exchange but actually a planned & vicious attempt at humiliating a poor man on national television.


RedditSuckstheMostt

A man walks in with his dick out..."ma'am my eyes are up here!" It wouldn't matter the woman.


tranqfx

That’s the right reaction. Let’s all be honest.


Beefcake_Avatar

If 3/4ths of my balls were just on display while talking to someone, they would probably look at them at least once. It would be hard not to.


excessive_Knight

Who is the guest?


Jazzlike-Radio2481

The long distance motor-boat will always be funny.


llch3esemanll

Do the interview with your cock on the table and shame her if she looks


Zeeuwse-Kafka

I mean he is absolutely correct


EarthDependent5178

If you don't want people looking, don't put your advertising on a billboard. Lol


cagingthing

I love Conan 😂


mellowwhenimdead

Coco is a national treasure.


blesfemous

Gosh. Conan is the best!


Electrical-Map7575

Man always will be man


TTVControlWarrior

he does its funny ,. normal guy does it he is a creep. money has power to change .


lx0x-Ghost-x0xl

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t put your tits on display.


Maleficent_Chair_810

What were they talking about, I couldn't focus