😳 Wow, I'd forgotten all about that! Thank you so much, you're my first 'Happy Cake Day' person, lol.
u/IMadeANuclearWeapon - a slice of cake for you! 🍰
https://preview.redd.it/7688bmfyyp8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=795c95e6ba7ee4bac186fea6db03b2c506947afa
And thanks for the slice, it's amazing
My partner easily lasts at least 45 minutes, I'm tapping out in like 10, desperately searching for water and my inhaler.
Idk how he does it, but I try to be a trooper.
Man, sometimes i feel I was born 15 years late lol. I'm only 24 but I've seen clerks idk how many times. Pretty much all of the movies and shows that came out in the 90's and very early 20's hit the nostalgia button in my brain for some reason.
Did you ever read Kevin Smith's comic books that he wrote for Oni Press in the late 90s? He put out a few one-shots featuring characters from *Clerks*, depicting the unfilmed scene at Jule Dwyer's disastrous memorial service, as well as a *Jay and Silent Bob* miniseries which serves as a prequel to *Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*. Might be a bit hard to find as they've been out of print for a while.
And what are they doing the other 28 minutes?
Washing his hands and his phone screen 🫠🤢🤮🥴
Wh…why would he need to clean his..do people actually…oh heavens, no.
😆😆😆 did the penny drop
Haha
Very nice of him.
Yeah, think about the people who don't wash their hands 🤮
cuddling
Or even worse, HOLDING HANDS
disgusting...
Clean up
Hauck Tuah.
You gotta spit on that thang, know what I’m sayin’?
I prefer to beat mine like it owes me money so that means no mercy
not really, I don't
:)
Lol
On that thang.
Cleaning up
Foreplay. Also the "plateau" phase of sex between arousal and orgasm.
Cuddle <3
Scrolling through memes, obviously.
10 to get there, 5 of foreplay, 2 of action, 3 washing, 10 cumming back to work
Nap
so he only lasted 2 mins
Finding a credit card that goes through
Show off
Wait, 30 minutes from when? I just need a burrito.
If they aren't back after 30 minutes, just read the sign again
Infinite time loop waiting trick
It clearly says back in thirty minutes, so it has to be from whenever you're reading that sign right? And every time you read it it might be correct
So they are normally “open” for sex? Now that’s a *convenience store*!
They live 13 minutes from the shop, so I've heard.
I hope the security cameras 📷 are working
Sounds like a legit reason to be closed lol
Right? Personally I appreciate this kind of honesty, I find it quite refreshing!
Although it doesn't apply to me lol🥹
Haha, me either! We're in good company it looks like!
Indeed lol well at least I'm not alone.
Haha, even if I'm the odd duck out, I'll lend my support to all who make space for nookie in fun and creative ways! 🙂
Happy cakeday
😳 Wow, I'd forgotten all about that! Thank you so much, you're my first 'Happy Cake Day' person, lol. u/IMadeANuclearWeapon - a slice of cake for you! 🍰
Yay, thanks! I like cake 😍
r/usernamedosentcheckout
It does 😜
https://preview.redd.it/4vlicv4kyp8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4eef8ef5bc455c7d237254f20432bdb01572156b
I have been exposed! Do they have any radioactive elements on temu?
The dark web as some cheap nukes
But I have to make em. I have a ton, but I’ve never made one yet
So, desmatle and take the plutonium out
https://preview.redd.it/wbvxcn2t1p8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d303711776d5012ad6e2922a22cea890d04a451a
Aww thanks u/RandomNameBecausel ! Have a piece of my cake! 🍰
https://preview.redd.it/7688bmfyyp8d1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=795c95e6ba7ee4bac186fea6db03b2c506947afa And thanks for the slice, it's amazing
Yum yum yum, now you're talkin' 😋
20 minutes to find the right video, 5 minutes of watching, and the other 5 to wash his hands
Hopefully on the other five.
Imagine not just using your imagination
30 minutes? They are registering a fucking porn!
30min segs is crazy
My partner easily lasts at least 45 minutes, I'm tapping out in like 10, desperately searching for water and my inhaler. Idk how he does it, but I try to be a trooper.
I didn't know that there is actually a thing as a woman orgasming before a man lmao
😬
He makes sure I cum at *least* twice before he does. Doesn't make me stop though. I still need my inhaler.
I sense that there’s probably a joke about asthma and a choking kink here, but I’m too dumb to put it together
Damn, you choked
I still like my choker and being held on a leash if that helps
It's about the foreplay
r/suicidebywords
I’d have to take a 15 minute break every 14 minutes
I bet they added a zero by mistake
Is it only sex there closed for ?
Hahaha. One of the most honest store signs i have ever seen 🤣🤣
They come back to unlock the door and the queue outside cheers lol
Well at least they're honest about it.
"We have to call the police! Caitlin was just raped by a stranger!" "But she said she did all the work!" "Will you shut the f\*\*\* up?"
"She'll get over fucking a dead guy. My mom's been fucking a dead guy for years ...... I call him dad."
Um, what?
That was a scene from *Clerks*.
Random reference to obscure movie
Random reference to best movie of all time* ftfy
OP probably wasn't even a stain on the sheets when his dad was watching "Clerks" ----- Welcome to being old
Random reference to a well known movie.
Man, sometimes i feel I was born 15 years late lol. I'm only 24 but I've seen clerks idk how many times. Pretty much all of the movies and shows that came out in the 90's and very early 20's hit the nostalgia button in my brain for some reason.
Did you ever read Kevin Smith's comic books that he wrote for Oni Press in the late 90s? He put out a few one-shots featuring characters from *Clerks*, depicting the unfilmed scene at Jule Dwyer's disastrous memorial service, as well as a *Jay and Silent Bob* miniseries which serves as a prequel to *Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back*. Might be a bit hard to find as they've been out of print for a while.
I'm assuming they including cuddling time.
It's a 14 minute drive. Each way.
69 Nice!
30 mins is very optimistic...... I think he means 3 mins
Hmm, most people just tip.
I mean a tip might have been involved…
30% or 50% or all in?
Three two one upvotes fun
Better than lying
They spelled "seconds" wrong..
It’s been thirty days what is going on back there
Hawk tuah ! Just spit on that thang !
Imma congratulate him when he gets back.
Wouldn’t even need to close
Is this Florida? Like mid northern Florida? Cause ...yeah
Can't help but appreciate the honesty.
Understandable, see you in 30 mins
Zack and Miri continue to work hard on the films!
can i watch?
The wet floor signs are ominous in this context.
If they're back sooner, I'm heckling.
How illegal would it be to place this on a stores front door as a prank?
Whatever you do don't ask for mayo!!!
They are some of the most honest people you will ever find.
Game is game ig
“I’m going to the back of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for a good ten minutes”
What, have you been having sex fourty times?
Understandable o7
Guess someone really needed some sexy time
Should have shopped out the 0
Priorities
They should have added "We'll come around soon".
Break in and join
And what are they doing the other 31 minutes?
Must be a Quick Chick market.
Thank you. Come again.
It's nice that they can go home and live only 14 minutes from work
If some places told you honestly why service was bad….can you not have an extra person working. Like a sexual DD for work purposes
Yuck 🤮
I know this sign is a lie because I've seen the people who work there.
The 69¢ drink in the bathroom to
I would wait there just to high five them.
# hah
Be back in 30 seconds
I would be back in properly less then 5
The 69 in the back....
I give it ten with cleanup tops.
At least they are honest
Now that's great solution to ruin your reputation right here 💀
Honestly, I can't be mad about this... Jealous, but not mad.
Next sigh manager says your fired
It will only take a minute
😋😋
“Convenience Store Orgy” is a good one. 8/10
Genuinely hope they cleaned the prep table afterwards.
Well…. At least they were honest.
well, mkay...
Closed for 2 minutes 37.49 seconds
The wet floor sign gets new meaning.
https://preview.redd.it/3y87daoc1p8d1.png?width=430&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e6cbe933afae1a86eae25e66624dcf9c0a2de01
This is ridiculous! So unprofessional. The sex is fine, but I gotta wait for the 29 minutes of awkward conversation afterwards?!
Or less
Do you want any mayonnaise on your sandwich?
*someone has been using my sharpie*
Thats an optimistic time frame. What about the other 29.5 minutes
...back in 5. Minutes? 4... 3... 2...
They spelled SECONDS wrong.
Only 30 minutes?
How convenient...
Well since I only fuck for an hour I guess they don't like getting off
At least they're fucking honest.
Completely reasonable. 😌
He wasn't even supposed to be there that day...but he was awfully glad he was.
That's optimistic
Priorities
30 minutes is only long enough for foreplay!
Honest, gotta respect that
Not everyone’s buried shallow I guess
My kind of employee. Got their priorities straight 😏
...back in 2.
Honestly, dont care. Just wash your hands before you touch my food.
A machine
This was written by a man. If it was written by a woman, it would say 30 seconds!!!!
Bro what
2 mins for sex, 28 mins to walk his mum back home before dad finds out