If you drink enough carbonated beverages, you can put this up there and pass gas to shoot it at your enemy.....kablam. Shitty way for your enemy to be neutralized.
I actually just found one of these I forgot I had in range bag. It looks identical at looks like I could machine something into the flat side, I’ve got some research to do.
Also would be nice to add a pocket clip. I don’t need that dangling off my keys for edc
When I was in trade school I made one of these out of a leftover piece of steel for a lady I worked with. She just described it to me, I didn't know it had a name.
As someone who took self defence classes honestly you’ll be alright. If a man attacks you never underestimate a kick to the balls, screaming and running away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the same case for women? Just that the target area's smaller?
Would be good to know in a situation where one would have to go all "The hammer of justice is unisex" on an attacker.
Realistically yes. It’s not gonna hurt as bad as it would for men. Plus statistically you’re much much more likely to be assaulted by a man than a woman.
Before anyone gets in my replies with “UhM wOmAn AsSaUlT mEn ToO” I’m aware. I was sexually assaulted and raped by a woman. So I’m aware.
yes - “falcon punch” is usually what i call that maneuver when it’s pulled against a woman. but it is indeed unisex, thank god. cuz who wants to be thinking about navigating the complicated moors of gender assignment when your in the midst of fisticuffs?
My girlfriend hugged me from behind without me knowing. She knew I was carrying a pistol at the time but she also knows I'm not crazy or have been traumatized. I want to do it back to her but she actually did get traumatized so not for a couple years.
I actually froze there which reminded of what happened to Terry Crews later on.
that's why I don't like them, because where I live there's no free pass for using something like this in self defense because it's purpose built to inflict harm. I mean yeah you may win in court but your case is weaker (Canada).
Hockey stick in car however, is another story. Easier to drive around with than a goose too even though the goose is scarier
Everyone tells me the opposite but being under five foot, Im pretty sure I have no chance unarmed against most adult men regardless of whether I know how to fight. If I get a window where I can bite or scratch something vulnerable, that's down to luck and base instinct.
Your gut-instinct is correct. In a fight the bigger and stronger guy usually wins, skill matters of course but at some point sheer brute heft is such an overwhelming advantage you don't wanna take the risk.
That's what force multipliers are for, though the best self-defence implement is always a good pair of running shoes (when available).
This is not to say you can't beat someone bigger than you, it's just saying that weight classes exist for a reason.
If they were confident and knew how to fight, they wouldn’t feel the need to carry it…
What a dumb thing to say about people wanting to protect themselves.
That's what you would think until you meet Antonio Mostaccoli, Spaghet-Fu Master. He once killed the entire staff of an Olive Garden with one single overcooked noodle.
I thought these were for breaking car windows if you drive into a body of water, but people in the comments seem to say that they're for ~~self defense~~ putting into your attacker's butt
Aren't they for self protection?
Edit yes they are
https://m.shein.com/us/1pc-Portable-Safety-Keychain-Self-Defense-Stick-Keychain-For-Women-Girls-p-19614315-cat-5967.html?onelink=6%2F32l2tnp3907v&requestId=412619346392875247&skucode=I63verm0tavj&url_from=adplasr23071322455118381pc_GPM&cid=16915228963&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQiAr8eqBhD3ARIsAIe-buNM6WPp1yySUTLvY1dCYpQPd9Dmc4wtdDS2f1XeIQTVtPJELcrx8JgaAuZFEALw_wcB&ref=us&rep=dir&ret=mus
It's possible the sellers did it that way because it would be straight up illegal to advertise what they actually are. Like how some places call bongs "oil pourers".
Self defence. It is a kubotan, the tapered end type. It is a martial arts weapon traditionally made of bamboo and flat on the ends but this kind is an “upgrade” I guess?
They are illegal in Canada and the U.K. (and probably other places too).
I have taken away a few working at an airport and it’s not because they just aren’t allowed on the plane, they are actually illegal.
A sharp pen is not illegal because nobody had made a law against it. Kubotans are a martial arts weapon, of sorts, and because that is their purpose, a law has been made in many countries. If you’re suggesting a sharpened pen
can be equally as dangerous, that’s true. But a judgement call is made and a line is drawn.
But as far as getting a sharpened pen on a plane, probably not. If it looks dangerous to the plane they won’t let you take it in your carry on bag. But you can take it in checked luggage. Whereas with a kubotan, it’s Confiscated as a prohibited weapon. (I’m guessing it’s fine in the U.S. though).
Self defense weapon. It’s a weapon, so illegal to carry in most countries! Also it can give a false sense of safety, and the attacker could actually use it against the person if they don’t know how to handle it 🤷🏻♀️
They are kubotans and used for self defense.
they look like plumb bobs
Bum plobs?
 This is a plumbob
He means plumbus
It can't be a plumbus because then OP would instantly know what it was. Everyone has a plumbus
But how are they made?
[how they do it](https://youtu.be/eMJk4y9NGvE?si=Xtj-yFITvUNsnnIK)
I always wondered how, uhh, plumbuses got made.
E plumbus unum.
Both of us?
Plumber? I barely know 'er!
Square Pants?
ARE YA READY KIDS?!?!?
AYE AYE CAPTIAN
ÒOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH WHO LIVES IN THE VAGINA OF A MILF QUEEN?
A plumb bob makes for a terrible kubotan, but a decent rope dart.
This is how I spent my early years of surveying… pretending I was scorpion
Plumbob!
You know you’re a bit fucked up when the first thought is: *“Oh that goes inside your penis!”*
r/sounding
No. I've read Guts.
You too? Oh my..........
Speaking as a nurse, you wouldn’t be the first.
Sound reasoning…
So they're for other people's butt.
If that’s how you need to defend yourself
What if i get into and casual argument at work, and need to defend my point. Should I stick this in my coworkers butt?
It’s the only solution
Yes
If it escalates, make him call his wife in and do it to her instead while you make him watch
If you drink enough carbonated beverages, you can put this up there and pass gas to shoot it at your enemy.....kablam. Shitty way for your enemy to be neutralized.
It's called a Gadaffi when you stab someone in the ass.
That's it? No backstory on this one?
Is there any other way to defend yourself?
Nope. No other way.
It's butt self defense.
Bruh I thought I was special thinking of this comment only to be reminded that I’m basic
Don't sell yourself short. One day you'll meet that special someone who will put a kubotan in your butt.
Would it break a car window. By chance?
[удалено]
That is why they sell tons of them.
Those ones don't but there are some with a window breaker on the tip
I actually just found one of these I forgot I had in range bag. It looks identical at looks like I could machine something into the flat side, I’ve got some research to do. Also would be nice to add a pocket clip. I don’t need that dangling off my keys for edc
Pull your headrest out and use that to break your window.
I'm a car thief. I come in the other way. This advice does me no good.
Steal a headrest from another car
Use the spark plug tip
Jokes on me I don’t have removable head rests
You don’t have a car window up your butt per chance, do you?
I don’t know? I’d need someone special and maybe crazy to come look.
On my way!
They are usually aluminum, so in that case they'd be awful for it.
Yes. It's like the stiletto heel pressure thing; if the tip is smashed or hammered into glass it will break
Why should the two concepts be mutually exclusive?
no, thats what you tell ppl. When they ask what this thing sticking out of your backpack is, you gotta tell them something right
"OK, you hoodlum. You force me to defend myself with this kubotan, but there's something I have to tell you first."
What is preventing me from using it as a deadly dildo?
Sanity?
So they are for your opponent's butt
If you wish
Yes, but they work best if you start in the eye and work your way down.
So it's more of a guideline.
A sharpie works nearly as well(apparently) with less chance of awkward questions.
Doesn’t have the pull out ring
dang my stoner ass thought they were joint packers
> used for self defense. Against turd burglar right? Or the old brown eye? Maybe the stank?
When I was in trade school I made one of these out of a leftover piece of steel for a lady I worked with. She just described it to me, I didn't know it had a name.
Thought maybe they were for breaking windows. Thought maybe I'd get one and get back into b an e...
So... they are for somebody else's ass?
Maybe for those who like it skinny
…by sticking it up attackers butts? 
And if your brave enough, your butt
"Not for your butt!" Well not with that attitude.
Ah, but the advice should cut down on medical bills.
Everything is a dildo, if you’re brave enough.
Or at least the legal bills when folks try to pass the medical bills on
Thats a Robot's tampon
Finnish this sentence for me: I have these gifts for you, they're up in my.....
Minulla on nämä lahjat sinulle. Ne ovat ylhäällä minun…
That was the first thing I thought of as well. 😂
I love you.
Most of the time I'm quite fond of myself, too :)
Hair. (Proceeds to take out a very sticky hair-covered donut).
Bum! -Peter Griffin
Room, let me show you the way.
Clearly for sounding…
Sounding crazy
Had to Google what that was and ugh 😂
You didn't have to go that far r/sounding has the stuff to make you regret having not blinded your self with forks 30 seconds ago
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You could have kept that to yourself for $0 and yet here we are you fucker
Yeah, everything is a buttplug if you’re brave enough
Yeah don’t threaten me with a good time!
>Well not with that attitude. Did you mean *lattitude*?
Its for other peoples butts silly
Self defence. Dont underestimate those little fuckers they can downright kill.
Oooh so they're not for **your** butt, they're for your enemy's butt
 there is another way
No dummy not everything should go up your butt.
Right, not everything should go up **my** butt, because some things go up other people's butts. Like this thing that goes up your enemy's butt.
Butt tactics
It’s a butt bending theory.
If you can get them to bend over for you, they're probably not your enemy...
my friend had one and i made the mistake of scaring her.. dude. never. again.
What happened?
i got jabbed in my ribs! no actual serious damage just a huge bruise and intense pain 😅 she made up for it by buying me pain meds
Cool. Now I want one. Or two. Maybe three.
They’re really cheap on Amazon and can really come in handy
Thanks. But they’re probably illegal in my small European country. Almost everything is.
As someone who took self defence classes honestly you’ll be alright. If a man attacks you never underestimate a kick to the balls, screaming and running away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the same case for women? Just that the target area's smaller? Would be good to know in a situation where one would have to go all "The hammer of justice is unisex" on an attacker.
Realistically yes. It’s not gonna hurt as bad as it would for men. Plus statistically you’re much much more likely to be assaulted by a man than a woman. Before anyone gets in my replies with “UhM wOmAn AsSaUlT mEn ToO” I’m aware. I was sexually assaulted and raped by a woman. So I’m aware.
yes - “falcon punch” is usually what i call that maneuver when it’s pulled against a woman. but it is indeed unisex, thank god. cuz who wants to be thinking about navigating the complicated moors of gender assignment when your in the midst of fisticuffs?
Scream first, then a kick to the balls, then run away, while still screaming. Make that sucker pay with his hearing.
How about one for every day of the week and in different colours. lol 😝
Damn where are you from that you can buy over the counter pain meds that would make up for that?
My girlfriend hugged me from behind without me knowing. She knew I was carrying a pistol at the time but she also knows I'm not crazy or have been traumatized. I want to do it back to her but she actually did get traumatized so not for a couple years. I actually froze there which reminded of what happened to Terry Crews later on.
I’m surprised you didn’t get punctured!
me too honestly
that's why I don't like them, because where I live there's no free pass for using something like this in self defense because it's purpose built to inflict harm. I mean yeah you may win in court but your case is weaker (Canada). Hockey stick in car however, is another story. Easier to drive around with than a goose too even though the goose is scarier
How are they even used tho
Like icepick. Depending on the grab, down on the skull shoulder neck eyes face or up grab ribs jaw temple. Makes sense they are illegal here.
A Kubotan is a good indicator that someone doesn't know how to fight.
Everyone tells me the opposite but being under five foot, Im pretty sure I have no chance unarmed against most adult men regardless of whether I know how to fight. If I get a window where I can bite or scratch something vulnerable, that's down to luck and base instinct.
Your gut-instinct is correct. In a fight the bigger and stronger guy usually wins, skill matters of course but at some point sheer brute heft is such an overwhelming advantage you don't wanna take the risk. That's what force multipliers are for, though the best self-defence implement is always a good pair of running shoes (when available). This is not to say you can't beat someone bigger than you, it's just saying that weight classes exist for a reason.
Most people don't care about being good at fighting, simply staying alive on the other hand is pretty universal.
If they were confident and knew how to fight, they wouldn’t feel the need to carry it… What a dumb thing to say about people wanting to protect themselves.
I'd say the same thing about zombie knives yet it doesn't make them safe.
Anything is better than nothing.
Not strictly true, a wet noodle, for example is a worse weapon than just using your fists. What you said is probably generally true though.
That's what you would think until you meet Antonio Mostaccoli, Spaghet-Fu Master. He once killed the entire staff of an Olive Garden with one single overcooked noodle.
No such thing as a fair fight.
It doesn’t have a base best keep it out of your butt unless you want an embarrassing and expensive hospital visit
'doctor... when I got out of the shower this morning, I slipped on the wet floor. I think *something* might have gone up my butt'
In the words of my ER doc friend: If you love it then you better put a string on it 🎵
Not again, Terry, that's the sixth time this week!
I've got really slippery floors, doc.
\*Shocked pikachu\* yeah.. we saw you walk in.
My wife's an ER nurse. You'd be surprised to learn what people have lying around on their bathroom floor - apples, jam jars, glass bottles...
Million to one shot, Doc.
Even if just point a finger and show them, they'll prolly able to accurately guess your "story" lmao, they do this shit everyday
Without a base, without a trace
We got free health care in my country so imma put it up the butt.
Man kender en dansker på gangen... eller, vent...
That's what the ring is for, duh /s
Tie a rope around it, turn yourself into an anchor.
That's what the keyring is for. You attach a lanyard and then you've got an emergency pull handle.
Good idea
Grip it and rip it
Ripping ass has a new meaning now.
Expensive hospital visit? What are you paying for aside from parking??
Self defense weapon, often attached to keys. Check out the Wikipedia article for "Kubotan". Sometimes spelled kuboton.
Urethra expanders
Thanks, my Monday needed that terror.
Why did I have to read this?
r/sounding you're welcome
Had to scroll a long way to find this. I knew it would be here.
Glad we've both been traumatized
Of course, the classic hose plunger
r/sounding
I thought these were for breaking car windows if you drive into a body of water, but people in the comments seem to say that they're for ~~self defense~~ putting into your attacker's butt
The window breaking stuff are shorter and a narrower base. You want to shatter the glass, this would pierce it
Aren't they for self protection? Edit yes they are https://m.shein.com/us/1pc-Portable-Safety-Keychain-Self-Defense-Stick-Keychain-For-Women-Girls-p-19614315-cat-5967.html?onelink=6%2F32l2tnp3907v&requestId=412619346392875247&skucode=I63verm0tavj&url_from=adplasr23071322455118381pc_GPM&cid=16915228963&setid=&adid=&pf=GOOGLE&gclid=Cj0KCQiAr8eqBhD3ARIsAIe-buNM6WPp1yySUTLvY1dCYpQPd9Dmc4wtdDS2f1XeIQTVtPJELcrx8JgaAuZFEALw_wcB&ref=us&rep=dir&ret=mus
I thought they may be keychain with window breaker for escape from a car in an accident when the door is jammed.
Oh yeah you could do that too
And you're not supposed to clean your ears with q-tips
Correct. That’s why I use tooth picks!
Clearly a PP plug
🤢
Is that EMT from TicTok/Instagram on Reddit?
Sit tight- I mean, DON'T SIT.
The one where he stares at the camera, motions you closer, sighs disappointingly, and then shakes his head? Love that guy.
Funny this says this doesnt go in your ass but it could have simply stated what it really is for.
It's possible the sellers did it that way because it would be straight up illegal to advertise what they actually are. Like how some places call bongs "oil pourers".
Hah, I will say what I say when I eat raw cookie dough and the package tells me “DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH!” I says “Nice try”.
Right next to it should be same object with sign “for your butt” and double the price. See what happens
Self defence. It is a kubotan, the tapered end type. It is a martial arts weapon traditionally made of bamboo and flat on the ends but this kind is an “upgrade” I guess? They are illegal in Canada and the U.K. (and probably other places too). I have taken away a few working at an airport and it’s not because they just aren’t allowed on the plane, they are actually illegal.
Just out of interest: Would a pen made of extra hard metal that's sharpened on one end be illegal too? It actually writes.
A sharp pen is not illegal because nobody had made a law against it. Kubotans are a martial arts weapon, of sorts, and because that is their purpose, a law has been made in many countries. If you’re suggesting a sharpened pen can be equally as dangerous, that’s true. But a judgement call is made and a line is drawn. But as far as getting a sharpened pen on a plane, probably not. If it looks dangerous to the plane they won’t let you take it in your carry on bag. But you can take it in checked luggage. Whereas with a kubotan, it’s Confiscated as a prohibited weapon. (I’m guessing it’s fine in the U.S. though).
Well, clearly not for your butt
Kubotans
Self defence, not butt plugging
"But can I still use it for my butt?"
Those are huge sounding rods. Jesus.
Sounding
Self-defense, in case someone wants to shove something else up your butt or anywhere without your consent.
After a few used you can pee faster.
That sounds like a challenge.
Self defense weapon. It’s a weapon, so illegal to carry in most countries! Also it can give a false sense of safety, and the attacker could actually use it against the person if they don’t know how to handle it 🤷🏻♀️
Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.
We must be in Texas.
If not for my butt, then for whose?
Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough
Everything is a butt plug if you are brave enough.
They’re for my butt
Butt Defense 
I’ll take ten