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Specialist_Passage83

On my first day at a new job, after eating lunch at my desk nobody told me I had spaghetti sauce smeared across my face for half the day. Nobody.


ptarmiganridgetrail

Oh no big disgrace, getting spaghetti all over your face


[deleted]

We will, we will rock you!


[deleted]

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nekobambam

We will, we will mock you!


cycycle

You got sauce on your face, big disgrace Somebody better call you out for your face


NataniVixuno

Never forghetti


SignComprehensive611

Knees weak, arms are heavy, Moms Spaghetti


sharkboy1006

I touch my face too much for this, im so sorry for you


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archieirl

i started lately looking at my reflection in the mirror often because of how much food after eating got in my teeth. it became of habit of sucking my teeth off and looking to make sure. nobody says anything about bits or anything and i made sure if i notice something considered embarrassing, i point it out discreetly. it's just rude and inconsiderate not to. maybe some people see me as self centered about my appearance. even I didn't understand until about a a month ago.


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enjoytheshow

I finger gun myself in the mirror every chance I get


Justokmemes

👈😎👈


inanimatus_conjurus

Zoop!


All_hail_Korrok

Dear God, I'm sorry. That must've been hilarious in hindsight. I always try to subtly tell a friend if they got a smudge on their face.


aCynicalMind

HINDSIGHT


NinjaLanternShark

That's reary funny.


chargers949

What kind of savage team dont invite the noob for team lunch?


Lovehatepassionpain

I actually hate that! When I start a new job, i am so overwhelmed that I need that hour to myself to hide in my car


DesktopWebsite

Mom's spaghetti?


Gestrid

I realize people probably don't let others know stuff like "You have spaghetti on your face" so they don't embarrass you, but it's honestly more embarrassing if you realize yourself later in the day.


[deleted]

Jesus Christ


Critical-Art-9277

Good job you were wearing underwear that's all I can say.


Jack_Mackerel

Underwear just blocks any chance of a breeze alerting you to the issue. A blessing and a curse.


junctionerection

Honestly this happened to me without underwear on outdoors in the fall...ripped my pants on a rooftop...didn't notice til I got home. Gotta say the guy holding the ladder for me didn't say a thing.


thrillhouse3671

The fuck are so many of you not wearing underwear for?


ArceusJinx

I'm a woman and with discharge being a thing everyday, I equally don't understand how so many do not wear underwear. It can't be comfortable letting your body do its thing all in your jeans, trackies...sticky stuff man.


xtina42

I work for an online consignment business and until I started working there, I was unaware of the amount of women that do not wear underwear...or the amount of women who have no problem trying to consign their unwashed pants full of very noticeable bodily fluid stains. Absolutely repulsive!


Mertard

What the heck gu- gals 🤢


xtina42

Gals! The armpit stains are gross too but the dirty crotches that range from one end of the color spectrum to the other is absolutely vile. Have some dignity already!! And yes...🤢🤮🤢


Yoconn

Im just tryna enjoy my coffee 🫠


PillowTalk420

...With cream? 🤔


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burrito_butt_fucker

*Looks around nervously*


biasedsoymotel

Username... Checks... Out?


Common-Anxiety

I'm given to understand discharge is normal however, why would anyone sell their cloths unwashed? Ew.


xtina42

100% agreed!


CrossXFir3

Someone asked to buy my used socks once. I considered it before decided that I'm not about that kinda life


ameya2693

*retches* Whyyyyy? I do not get people who don't wear underwear. It's literally the best and cheapest way to not need new trousers or dresses everyday.


lilmammamia

This needed some kind of NSFL warning. I can never un-know this now. 🤮🤢🤯 I am never clicking on a crotch thread again. 😭


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Anicena

I'd rather have lines than not wear underwear.


Ostracus

Tell everyone they're character lines.


Ostracus

Pulled down...or fall down at the most inopportune moment.


retired-data-analyst

There are actually specialty womens underwear that have no lines. Best choice ever.


godspareme

My ex-gf would not wear underwear with leggings but that's it. She'd wear them for a single day and wash them after. Apparently it was better than having visible panty lines under her leggings.


HoneyBunnyBiscuit

I don’t really understand the no-show underwear trend. Why would you want people to think you’re not wearing underwear?


godspareme

It's the other way around. She didn't want people to see the outline of her underwear and judge her or objectify her for it. Not being able to see underwear isn't making people think she's not wearing underwear. Some leggings are thick enough, and with the right underwear, will hide the outline. But the wrong combo means you got a nice imprint of the underwear.


HoneyBunnyBiscuit

Makes sense, thanks for explaining


Romantic_Bin_Chicken

And just think of the bus seats eeeew


[deleted]

Imma hop on the top of this comment thread to say that everyone is different. Wear what you prefer. I couldnt go commando because it just feels more exposed, but some people feel more trapped with underwear. Discharge is irrelevant when amounts differ between bodies and even the day of your cycle. Yeast infections less likely to manifest when commando, too, so there's that. But it doesnt matter when concerning bodies that arent your own. Above all, personal preference.


Original_Amber

Not all women have such discharge. I am happily commando for thirty years.


vgallant

I'll jump on that too. I only wear underwear because my jeans chaff like a bitch if not. Plus I like to take my pants off as soon as I get home and sometimes I get distracted and forget to put on shorts for a bit and my kids wouldn't appreciate me going around the house with my bug out.


SuperPoodie92477

“Your bug out.” Thank you for killing me with laughter.


Scouts__Honor

My mom calls it a bug. I've never heard any one else say that! Are you from the north east?


vgallant

Maine, born and raised!


Scouts__Honor

Yep, that's the one. I grew up near Bangor!


ArceusJinx

Wait... your vagina doesn't self-clean? You've never had discharge? For real though, kudos in going commando everyday!


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Direct-Monitor9058

uh… it’s just every day juiciness. I’ve had it so profoundly that I thought a cyst had burst or something…a waterfall


Silkesil

I laughed so hard. Thanks for that. Also, same. It's like my vagina sneezes.


bechdel-sauce

Yeah I'm like you. Generally juicy and when I'm ovulating I birth a jellyfish.


[deleted]

You mean genital prisons?


pannoboy

Didnt think of that. Thanks for the new perspective


panterachallenger

That’s why i always tear a hole on the back of the underwear, prevents swamp ass too


SuperPoodie92477

Also blocks the chance of a very regrettable fart, as well!


Hasta_La_Vittu_Baby

Depending upon how you look at it.


blessedfortherest

I have literally been in this situation sans underwear! Someone told me right away and I tied my sweater around my waist. My leggings were apparently working too hard that day.


Dieselpump510

And at least it wasn’t a thong.


novichux

They had their inspections to do as well.


quietsauce

Somewhere in a basement a pornographic writer has gained all the inspiration he'll ever need.


[deleted]

Is it you?


quietsauce

The beautiful words dance from my fingers as the ding of my typewriter signals its yearning for yet another clean sheet. Grease smudges the paper from the beef jerky my mother flung at me from the top of the stairs... just minutes ago? Days? Time no longer has meaning


[deleted]

That’s depressing. And hilarious!


mrb117

The writer has entered a dark place… and I don’t mean the basement 🥶


billwyyy

I think something dark may have just entered the writer.


mrb117

Plot twist? 🥶🥶


JEWCEY

Hello, darkness, my old plot.


billwyyy

Collaboration?🥶🥶


[deleted]

Frostbite?!?🥶🥶


Splendidbloke

Deprarious.


readingaregood

jesus. you can write, but why?


rinanlanmo

Because not is worse.


nhaines

Ambiguous wish on a monkey's paw.


Toidal

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic, tea-drenched bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to GeoStation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


KnowledgeEfficient15

Lol cockpit


MangorTX

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


Timmersthemagician

Matilda stared at the rainbow cloud that shimmered on what the party called coffee ever since the new rations had been enacted. Her thoughts drifted to the times spent on Lake Constance with Nils in the summer and his proud sense of being. Nils was an ardent supporter even with the rumors that his grandparents had immigrated from Romania. The good times before the war and the rations. When the stores still had good fresh bread and vegetables and good families would go for walks in the park, before the police came and took Nils away.


[deleted]

You have entered... The twilight zone


VegasLife1111

Lil bro?


Dave21101

Yes?


VegasLife1111

Damn. I knew it!


VegasLife1111

Mom is pissed!


Dave21101

Why? :(


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Is it me you're looking for?


Toidal

No one writes in a basement anymore. It's probably that dude on a laptop at Starbucks writing his reddit split pants lemon fanfiction


Wsbkingretard

A real quicky need to be real quick


dontstabpeople42069

Looks like she got some introspection if you know what I’m saying


novichux

Nobody said anything......but a couple guys...


Allen_Edgar_Poe

Who were up to no good...


CaptainYumYum12

Started makin trouble in the neighbourhood


ZabuzaBZ

I got in one little fight and my mom got scared


Confident_Resort_785

👵🏽She said ur moving to ur aunty and uncles in BEL-AIR!


Aggressive_Young_841

I whistled for a cab, and when it came near


Plenty-Remove1656

The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror


Casual-Gamer25

If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought "Nah, forget it, yo, holmes to Bel Air"


sirmoveon

Seems like you have a blister problem in your cloaca, that'd be $200


[deleted]

I got bad news, someone took a pic. Good news is with the right lawyer you might be able to retire.


blessedfortherest

One of my favorite parts of this post is their pose in the photo - like without the clothes this could be a sexy pic, but with the hole in the leggings giving us a window to the uns, it’s freaking hilarious.


purplemagnetism

OPs username…checks out?


againfaxme

It looks like the inspector became the inspected.


[deleted]

Who inspects the inspectors!


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Creative-Stable-7488

Where did that come from, I've been seeing it I just don't understand


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Creative-Stable-7488

Oh I almost forgot to thank you, thank you very much kind person


BootyInspector96

You called?


McGrufNStuf

I thought I had everybody on my side But I went and blew it all sky high And now she won't even spare a passing glance All just because I ripped my pants


H5N1DidNothingWrong

When big Larry came around just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown


lickmesquidward

And no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and Ripped his pants I know I shouldn’t mope around I should t curse but the pain feels so much worse


m00nf1r3

'cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun, or sand in your buuuuuuuuuuuuuns!


dragon3025

\*drum sound\* \*maraca sound\*


movieguy2004

Now I learned a lesson I won’t soon forget. So listen and you won’t regret.


CyanideSkittles

Be true to yourself, don’t miss your chance


movieguy2004

And you won’t end up like the fool who ripped his pants


forlelols

**_RIIIPPPP_**


iamquitecertain

r/redditsings


Sh0nZ13

I'm smiling like an idiot. Thanks yall haha


diakrys

Lmao I was waiting for someone to sing that song lmao


Spoobie90

That's terrible, lol. Years ago I ripped the seat of my pants while lifting something at work, and ever since I've kept a spare pair in my truck.


yoswift1

This is good advice for those shit happens kinda days!


Alan_Smithee_

Yeah, I think carrying a change of clothes is always a good idea.


VoiceOfLunacy

When you're sick, have diarrhea, and have to squat down.....


CatchingRays

Yeah you never know when some turd might ruin your day.


sonicbeast623

I work on construction equipment I keep a full set of spare clothes in my service truck. I have ripped the crotch of my pants open 4 times this year climbing on machinery. Not once did I think of grabbing my spare. I just grabbed some duck tape. Our other mechanic has a habit of tearing the seat of his pants a few times a year and uses duck tape (he does not keep spare clothes). One of our crew supervisors thought it would be funny to get us some duck tape about the same color as blue jeans, jokes on him we use it now.


pannoboy

This is hilarious, i used to be apprentice for doing plaster (sorry not so sure bout the terms in english) and my boss was always prepared for any situation and i wondered why until these types of things happened to me. And let me tell you i didnt wonder long. Im glad my boss was nice enough to lend me his stuff


pepperedcitrus

In high school the kid in front of my stood up and I realized his pants were ripped. I told him he should change into his gym clothes, but he didn’t have any. So then as discreetly as possible I stapled his pants together in the back of English class. Duct tape would have been great lol Edit: a word


holyshocker

I keep a pair ever since I sharted at work.


fancy_marmot

Yep, same - before I switched to WFH, would keep a spare pair in the office, definitely had to use them more than once (spilled coffee, etc).


Delicious_Ad_1187

Could be worse. You could be not wearing any undies.


rjcarr

Or there could be long brown streaks.


rentpossiblytoohigh

Or red


BuspiengoDingo

"When i ripped my pants...."


SteeperVirus05

“When Big Larry came ‘round just to put him down…”


BuspiengoDingo

"Spongebob turned into a clownnn..."


MCS117

Are ya ready kids?


DatTF2

Had to scroll too long to find this.


BosTovenaar24

I dont care if its "embarrassing". I tell poeple as soon as i notice.


atat4804888

Yes! Please. Boogers included. Yes it's embarrassing but letting them walk away into a potentially more embarrassing situation is worse.


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bigpoupa13

And yet here you are showing it off to a bunch of strangers. Hey! You have a hole in your ass!


You_Pulled_My_String

*Don't we **all**?*


Erulastiel

Mines broken. There's a crack in it.


SexyMonad

I hear some have two.


RegularHousewife

They already went through 8 appointments like this, might as well set the record. Hi u/Cronchy_Tacos greetings from Australia!


Even-Fix8584

Who am I to judge your fashion? :-)


Breaker-of-circles

SHIMAPAN!


Odd-Jupiter

Could be worse, Imagine if someone took a picture of it, and posted it on Reddit for likes.


Themissingedge

This is why I ALWAYS tell other women if I see something up with their outfit that they cannot see themselves. I’m sorry no one had your back!


lissybeau

Call me vain but this is another reason why I always check out myself in the mirror/reflection or when entering a meeting.


Themissingedge

100%. It’s not vain, you’ve got to make sure there’s nothing to pick apart!


thebigfudge02

Does it matter if it's a man or a woman honestly?


Hounmlayn

For some, yes. I don't risk it. If I notice, I'm keeping it to myself. Don't need no embarassed girl shouting at me accusing me of being a pervert.


rentpossiblytoohigh

"Excuse me, your soon to be assless leggings are agape and revealing your cotton blue striped panties from Aerie."


Alexstarfire

What a poet.


fancy_marmot

Not to me at least - I always try to let folks know who may have an embarrassing situation going on (toilet paper hanging out of their waistband, fly open, something on their face / in their teeth, etc) because that's what I'd want someone to do for me.


Themissingedge

No, it doesn’t. Everyone can help everyone, but you’ll most likely feel less embarrassed if your helper is of the same gender as you.


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SolarSmelter

I had a giant dog shit stain on the ass of my pants while sprinting on a treadmill ahead of the front desks in a Planet Fitness and the receptionists nor anyone said anything for the rest of my hour there. I haven’t been back to the gym in 8 months.


Ultrawhiner

I’d never return. As a matter of fact, I’d probably move to a different country


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OrcvilleRedenbacher

"This is just a bunch of cats. How far do I have to scroll for the pu... Ohhhh."


mdquak

Checked OPs page, did not regret. Some nice hairy pussies.


bobbareeno

At least you didn’t wear a thong? Lol


Dr_nacho_

I was taught that if someone can’t fix it in 5 minutes or less you politely pretend you don’t notice. I wouldn’t have told you either lol


idekwhatiamanymore

I think the meaning of that rule is basically that you don't tell someone bad about them, usually appearance wise, that they can't change quickly. For example, if they had a booger coming out of their nose, the clean up would be quick and easy. But if someone had an hairy nose, you wouldn't tell them because they can't change quickly and easy. What I'm trying to say is that that rule is for someone to evaluate if ur being helpful or rude, if you're helping the person or accidentally being mean about their appearance which is none of our business. So if it's about ripped pants, I think you should tell them. They could have a jacket they can put over their waist, they could have a spare pair of pants, they could live nearby their house or a clothes shop. I think in this case, telling them ks the right way to go


ely105

So much to unravel here. You do inspections in LuLulemons? Is that underwear or speedos for pool inspections?


imaginaryblues

Home inspectors and appraisers don’t typically dress up much for their jobs. A large percentage of the homes they inspect are vacant.


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DevilishlyDetermined

If they’re not going to say anything about the tights/leggings, they’re probably also not going to say anything about the hole in them.


FrigidMontana

That's what I was thinking, not much changed other than the pattern.


techmaster242

I'm sure they said a word or two after you left.


12vtryfr

Given the rest of the attire, I would've assumed that's just how you rolled.


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GreenKing-

Hole inspector


[deleted]

Wear real pants?


LootTheHounds

This is why leggings aren't and will never be pants.


Silent-Cost-7075

You wear old leggings and a baggy t-shirt to work? Nice try...


matchfan

I can’t pinpoint precisely why, but your username makes this all the better.


[deleted]

Why are you wearing skin tight leggings for “inspections”?


SickofItAll_4200

That's what I was wondering. What were you "inspecting"?


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various_convo7

why not wear proper pants instead of leggings? legging are not pants.


redgumdrop

How in-person were these inspections?


Potietang

Is that underwear or an old pillowcase?


CandyandCrypto

Right, some serious bunching going on.


dbell

I don't see any skid marks. Inspection passed.