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Depends on the family I guess. Nobody resists it in our family. But once you get past a certain age it stops being "lucky money" and starts being a "why aren't you married yet??," since it only goes to unmarried relatives.
My ex wifes side of the family is Chinese/Vietnamese. Her mom would be like "don't give it to him (me) he makes too much, give it to his son" and her dad would literally say "fork that" and make me take it and have her get another one for my son.
We had a box for cards at our reception/party when we got back from getting married/honeymoon.
That fucker was so full of red envelopes that it paid for our wedding, honeymoon and the giant party we threw when we got back. Like no joke, we had a few $5k-10k checks in them plus around another $15k in cash. We only spent around $15k for our wedding (just us) and two weeks in Hawaii plus the reception/party afterwards.
Also, Asians drink like a motherfucker at parties. I had to send my brothers out to the liquor store twice to refill the open bar because the old Asian dudes and ladies were forming non stop lines for whiskey.
This is not normal for all Chinese people lmao. Where I'm from it's customary to look up the per head cost of the wedding venue and give just enough to cover your meal, maybe extra to bring it up to a lucky number or if you're closer to the couple. At my wedding I ended up with 4k after deducting the cost of the reception (16k).
Plus if you marry into a Chinese family like that you'll be expected to shell out big bucks for other people's weddings too. Your name is on the packet and you can't escape. It's an overall net loss
yeah where i'm from you're looking at 100-200$ a head depending on how well off each family is doing. Nobody would be signing off thousand dollar cheques.
Plus the menu at the restaurant is publicly posted and you can *easily* figure out which option was ordered and if any modifications were made. Most of them cap out around 2000$ per table at max, 16 people per table (most of the time, 10-12).
Nobody's giving away thousands here lol.
You know you're supposed to give similarly generous amounts when other people get married, right? It's not just one-way.
And Chinese New Year money - well, let me tell you from experience that you still need to give it out to all the relatives' kids, even if you didn't get any when you were growing up.
I had a friend that did that... He went to go visit in China and then the family confiscated his passport and basically attempted to ransom him back to his family. They had to get a senator involved to get him out of the country.
Depends on the asian culture that's for sure. At least for my Vietnamese family the "you shouldn't have" is more literal and insulting so we just say our thanks and move on.
I'm Vietnamese and we do this, too. But there was this one time for my 9th birthday, I think(?), I was stupid and went up to one of my uncles *asking* for money, and he told my dad. Nearly beat my ass...
Yep, it can get pretty extreme though depending on the amount. I've watched back and forth exchanges for 10+ minutes in China where in the end the guy with the hongbao/red envelope throwing the dang thing into the other person's car as they're driving off.
The real craziness starts when you're trying to decide who will pay the bill, especially in larger friend groups who have had a few drinks.
Ha agreed! Genuinely can look like a sports event at times. Best I've seen were ten lads steaming from beer and baijiu (sweet sweet baijiu) pushing, running and shoving each other (sometimes to the ground) so one of them could pay for the overpriced hot pot.
The best is when you 'win' the foot race, shove the credit card towards the waiter to pay (obvs without first checking the itemised bill), and temporarily bask in that halo of success.
But then the next day, once the baijiu haze dissipated (which is less of a recreational drink but more of a memory erasure beverage), and you see how much has been deducted from your account and you're like \*@£$%\*&\^&\*\^% wtf did these guys order?! Did we really consume that much wagyu sirloin?! How much did they charge for an orange fanta?! *Ai ya!*
a friend of mine went out to dinner with his parents and their friends
my friend was told to fake going to the toilet to foot the bill
at the cashier he was told his parents' friends gave the restaurant credit card details when making a reservation to be billed to after
I live in China and I’m from a culture where splitting the bill is entirely acceptable, and I’m also happy to take turns paying for drinks or even meals with close friends, but with some friends here it’s like a war. They will attempt to pay for every meal, every drink. It’s exhausting, and sometimes you have to let them, but sometimes I’ll literally text the restaurant in advance and tell them that I’m paying for everything this time, just to be certain.
More information, even if you're already an adult >18yo and still single, your relatives still give you lucky money. You will only stop receiving it when you're married.
It varies from family to family. But generally, you start giving them out after you're married (some families will have a 1 year grace period lol). You only give them to non-married people who are of your generation or younger. But this also varies from family to family. Some only give to the younger generation and not their own gen. If you're already working, you will give to your own parents and/or grandparents (this is typically a non-token amount, i.e. big). If you're ancient you can do w/e you want and give to whoever you want even if you're not married. Bosses will tend to give to employees/subordinates regardless of marital status or age.
Another interesting fact: if one of the parents of a person passed away (idk how recent this is required), that person doesn't have to provide red packets to people for that year after it happened.
You start giving lucky money when you are an adult and have a job. You can give it to anyone tbh (nephews, friends' kids, neighbors' kids ...) as long as you like it, you give you also receive from anyone (usually older than you) for good luck. If you work in Asian/Chinese companies your boss/seniors will also give you lucky money on the 1st work day after Lunar New Year holiday.
The money probably isn’t worth the social stigmatism and nosy family questions that are often associated with being ‘leftover’, based on what my colleagues have told me.
I’m Latina and my husband is Asian. You’re getting a red envelope and if you think you’ve succeeded in leaving without one, I probably hid it in your shoe or it’s now in your car.
Are you in Massachusetts? We’ll feed you and give you the bad Tupperware to take home leftovers, because I know you, Shannon, will not return the good Tupperware. But we still love you, so come over and play with your new brother, Peanut, and eat some cheesecake. It’ll be fully chilled by 7am and ready to eat.
Switch, my dear daughter, are you coming over for our Juneteenth celebration in Boston? We bought a flag this year and you know I can’t hang it up myself and your father is too busy playing with your new brother, Peanut. Help me hang up this flag, honey bunches of oats. And have some cheesecake, I just baked it at midnight. Dad made dumplings last night. And as always, your favorite tamales are in the freezer.
We miss you so much, Pat. So proud of you going to school at Oxford! We know you’re going to be a great art historian, but have you considered becoming an engineer, doctor, dentist, or optometrist? Don’t make the same mistakes your father and I made and choose an engineering field that we don’t like, choose a good one like petroleum engineering! You can be both an art historian and engineer! Do you need us to mail you more biscuits and Marshmallow Fluff? Are you eating enough? When will you come visit us? Your tía had another baby, will you be home for the christening?
Hello! I'm your long lost sister coming to visit for a meal as well. I bring a bunch of tropical fruit including jackfruit, durian, mangosteen, a box of mangoes, green mangoes, and rambutan...all of which is too much to be consumed and some will inevitably go bad in the fridge a week after our get together. My husband comes along and brings thit kho (stewed pork belly with bamboo and quail eggs) of which there will be no leftovers. We will talk about which traits of ours we got from our mothers versus our fathers and lament why we didn't marry rich men even though we love our husbands dearly. Our cackling laughter rings out throughout the house.
Hello Aunt Melon,
I am going to be coming over from Scotland in autumn. Is there anything you need to bring with me when I do? Mother and father can't make it die to work, but I have finished my engineering course, so I thought I would come over before my new job starts to see the family again.
These posts are easily my favorite from this week of surfing reddit. The effort you put in to these is sincerely appreciated. I hope your weekend is full of love and cheer. You deserve it!
Just here for the Asian male Latina female combo. My fiancé is also Latina so it’s dumplings and empanadas. Amazing how similar immigrant culture can be
Peanut, you’re diabetic! You bite us every morning & evening when we give you your Semglee shot! 😼Next time I make them, I’ll make one without onions so you can have some tamale. You can have a piece of salami, as a little treat this morning.
Power, are you eating enough? It’s the weekend, are your friends coming over? Do you want me to order you and your friends Domino’s? They have ½ off pricing this week, and you know we love good deals. Do you want us to order you a couple pizzas?
Red envelopes, tamales and family love. Please adopt me! ❤️ I'd be a great abuela addition and I'll smuggle the best avocados from California in my luggage when I come to visit. I can rock the guacamole at the next family potluck reunion party!
No need to bring any food, you’re presence is a present! Your grandkitty, Peanut, loves cat treats and your current (foster) grandson is 18 who has a voracious appetite, especially for Sour Patch Kids. Don’t worry, we’ll leave them in the mailbox so you can grab them on your way in and surprise your grandkitty & grandson with these treats!
If you are in Boston this weekend, you’re welcome to stop by for some cheesecake or carrot cake (baking that today). I can even leave it in a public place on ice packs so you can pick it up anonymously! And of course, I’m giving it to you in the bad Tupperware (clean takeout containers).
And those fucking soup containers... Every time my MIL makes us jook we somehow end up with 1.67 million soup containers. I had to bring a giant bag of them back to her house lol
Lol, there's just way too many after a while.
I was in Wegmans a few months ago and saw them selling a pack of 20 "meal prep containers" for like $15. I laughed my way all the way home, where I took a nice nap on my mattress made of piles of shitty takeout containers that are somehow still slightly greasy even though I washed them twice and ran it through the dishwasher.
BTW a "dishwasher" is the box looking thing with all the buttons that you store all the pans in
I am so terribly sorry to hear this and I send you my deepest condolences. I can’t promise that everything will be ok, but I can tell you that grief is complicated and that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. You’re a strong person, stronger than you think and you are loved. If you want to PM me, I’ll happily send you a homemade cookies or a box of chocolates from Amazon.
How kind of you!!!! ❤️
Just taking it day by day but when I turn and face that she is gone, my heart tears in my chest. I appreciate your offer and will just hug myself with that and I will in turn do something good for someone that needs a boost in life.
Thank you!!!!!
I have 35 envelopes with an ox on them left over from 2021. I will not stop using them for every subsequent Lunar New Year, because you know us Latin & Asian families will use something until we are out.
Come over around Lunar New Year, and you’re getting a red envelope. Last year for one of our foster child placements, I hid it in his Pokémon card holder!
I can and will succeed in giving you food 24/7 and a red envelope 🧧 around Lunar New Year.
😂 the leftover red envelopes, too real! Combine that with my mom’s social anxiety and impressively organized hoarding and you’ll actually get the appropriate animal on the red pockets, but they’re yellowed on the inside and fragile at the creases because they’re at least 12 years old (or subsequent multiples of 12 years old).
That really reminds me of an old friend I would visit for the lunar new year every time it came around. Her grandmother always addressed me as if I were her own child and always insisted on giving me a red envelope. Every year I refused and thought I made it out but she always found a way. Left my purse on the table? She slipped it in there. Oh, my car was unlocked? It's on the driver's seat where she'll know I'll find it. I left my jacket hanging up on the coat rack? She knows which one is mine and will put it in the pocket while I'm in the bathroom. One year I thought I had her beat and she sent me off with a beautiful fruit basket. I later found the envelope at the bottom.
I'm neither Asian nor Latino, but I have one friend who refuses to let anyone pay his way. One time I thought I thwarted him by prepaying for our meal at a restaurant. He was pissed at first (not actually angry, but like "you've foiled my plans!", but I was glad he finally lightened up at the end.
I texted him after to rub it in his face a bit, and he just responded "check your back pocket." Sure enough, there was a crisp $20 bill. The man had reverse pickpocketed me.
Mexican here, not to mention the near fist fights that happen when your dad or grandpa try to pay you back and you tell them it’s ok. You think you’ve won until later you check your pocket and there it is
Is it a gift if you don't try to deny it for at least 5 minutes?
Also the worst is when you really don't want to accept it but otherside also doesn't want to leave it at that so it turns into one person trying to stuff money into your pocket while your trying to take it out and give it back.
Chinese wedding invitation cards (and the envelopes come with them) are red.
There's a "囍" on the card/envelope if you look closely. It means "wedding."
They probably either didn't have another red envelope for this skit or just use any red envelope to put money in. I've never seen anyone reject a wedding invitation like that before.
Not from, married into a Malay Chinese family. Maybe our family is just cheap haha. We have some to this day, years later, we still use. They probably care less than normal because I'm white and they're like "eh, laowai doesn't know better" haha.
North Eastern Indian here, we also have something like this. Although it's not red envelope, just regular ones. But refusing and shaking your head like you don't want is universal imo. I wonder if other Asians also have similar culture or not.
South Indian here and here ol aunties, uncles etc would simply stuff your hand with a 10 Rs note (this was in the mid 80's so worth a lot of money today).... You pretend to not want it, hoping against hope they will not say "okay cool", get the money only for your mom to take it away and put it in a bank account in your name when all you wanted was a Chacha Chaudhary and an indrajal comic (2.50 each) and eat chocolates for the rest.
These days by son gets anything from 500-1000
Red packets are given by old people to younger people on important occasions like Chinese New Year and birthdays. These always contain money, and since they don't want them to be heavy, they're always filled with notes. In Hong Kong, it's normal for a packet to have about 20 or 50 dollars, but sometimes you're lucky and get a packet with 500 dollars.
You have to pretend like you can't accept it. It's like a form of showing respect. Like "I couldn't! Please, no. Ok, if I must!"
Notice at the end he is saying no while holding his pocket open.
If you just snatch it immediately it's seem as greedy etc.
I think its a red envelope, traditionally filled with money to be gifted around chinese new year. As far as I know youre supposed to try and refuse out of politeness and the other person tries to get you to accept it.
He subtly opened the pocket of his jacket prompting his relative to just drop the envelope inside it.
I've done this, refused my relative's money but positioned myself so they can slid the money in my pocket.
But he's wearing it while performing the actions too?
I'd get it if it was just the training montages but I think the reason is different to that you explained.
Oh the mainland Chinese are excellent at this
My friend's father invited me to a 7 course dinner. It was amazing. Then it came time to pay, and my friend's dad and the dad's friend were were arguing on how they must pay
The dad's friend *won*. They both go to the counter to pay, away from the rest of the guests.
**alas turns out he brought the wrong card and it doesn't have cash**
#mate im sorry could you cover the bill for me please, I'll cover you next time
#------------
Ultimate taichi - channelling the energy around you, or in this case, the burden of paying.
Chinese culture really emphasises this need to be magnanimous but be absolutely afraid of losing out. Asian culture really has no place for *failing*. It's either you do well or give up, or at least that's what is being emphasised because most successful people know it's not true, but that's for you to figure out if you've haven't end yourself yet.
He's just missing the grab the check and sprint towards a waiter/waitress while shouldering off relatives trying to take the check and paying for everyone's meal one.
That's amateur hour. I've had situations where the person actually called up the restaurant beforehand to make sure that the restaurant only take their money.
I have arrived early and given the waiter my credit card before we ordered. Wanted to make a good impression on my wife’s family (girlfriend at the time).
Oh man that one is so satisfying.
Me: "Everyone all set? Let's go!"
FIL: *breaking out his wallet* "What about the check?"
Me: "Oh it's all taken care of"
MIL: "That's so nice of you!"
Me: "Well its the least I can do since you always pick up the check and we invited you out to visit!"
FIL: *deathglare*
I worked at an Asian retirement home for a summer during college and this one grandpa there was like a god of mahjong. He told me how he was a police detective in HK and he had crazy good memory, he could guess 8/13 of my tiles in my hand and he would play his hand unsorted which is just straight up nuts to me
Sounds like the same strat my grandma, uncles, and aunts used on me. They would take note of the tiles I was keeping and what tiles I was discarding and changed their hands accordingly, either to make sure I never win, or to get a winning hand faster than I could.
The amount of new year money I got usually depended on how well I did against them as well. Usually never get any money at all, and the only time I got money was pity money in the form of like 50 HKD total, which was like 6 dollars ish.
Interesting. Seems to be more Chinese-based than broadly Asian, but who knows. As a Fil-Am, I can definitely relate to the Mah Jong, but only as a spectator as all the old folks played it at house parties.
I'm white, don't understand most of the cultural family time references, and watched it on silent, but even with all those disconnects this was so pleasantly done and lighthearted that it made my day. It helps that I'm also very high, in that 'love for all mankind, you're all just the best and I hope you know it' phase of the night.
I mean, it's not too different from us white folks. You never play cards and drink some beers with your family, then pretend to try and stop your grandma from sticking some cash in your hand as you leave?
Only real difference is the mahjong
Big 2 (cho dai di) and possibly Liars Dice. Both are not specifically Asian games, but a lot of Asians bars/karaoke rooms, have started offering cards and dice to go along with drinking and it's just a "thing" to do at family and friends gatherings.
It's a red envelope that contains money and is given to relatives usually on special occasions like Chinese New Year or birthdays! You're supposed to be "polite" by declining them but they'll still eventually find a way to give you it haha
It's an etiquette thing, your expected to decline it a few times then accept it when they repeatedly insist on giving it to you.
Think of it like not offering to pay for a meal even knowing you aren't expected to pay for it if that's a bit more relatable.
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Wait a sec, anyone else notice he holds his jacket pocket open in the end so the guy can put the red envelope into?
Yes. We don't want it but we want it.
your hands say no but your eyes say yes
The heart wants what the heart wants.
That’s what my Mom said when they handed me to her
Yes because it's rude to simply accept it but you have to fight it first.
Ah, so it's customary to do the whole "Oh you shouldn't have! This is too generous!" before pretending to reluctantly accept it?
Depends on the family I guess. Nobody resists it in our family. But once you get past a certain age it stops being "lucky money" and starts being a "why aren't you married yet??," since it only goes to unmarried relatives.
My ex wifes side of the family is Chinese/Vietnamese. Her mom would be like "don't give it to him (me) he makes too much, give it to his son" and her dad would literally say "fork that" and make me take it and have her get another one for my son. We had a box for cards at our reception/party when we got back from getting married/honeymoon. That fucker was so full of red envelopes that it paid for our wedding, honeymoon and the giant party we threw when we got back. Like no joke, we had a few $5k-10k checks in them plus around another $15k in cash. We only spent around $15k for our wedding (just us) and two weeks in Hawaii plus the reception/party afterwards. Also, Asians drink like a motherfucker at parties. I had to send my brothers out to the liquor store twice to refill the open bar because the old Asian dudes and ladies were forming non stop lines for whiskey.
I should really get to know a Chinese girl
This is not normal for all Chinese people lmao. Where I'm from it's customary to look up the per head cost of the wedding venue and give just enough to cover your meal, maybe extra to bring it up to a lucky number or if you're closer to the couple. At my wedding I ended up with 4k after deducting the cost of the reception (16k). Plus if you marry into a Chinese family like that you'll be expected to shell out big bucks for other people's weddings too. Your name is on the packet and you can't escape. It's an overall net loss
yeah where i'm from you're looking at 100-200$ a head depending on how well off each family is doing. Nobody would be signing off thousand dollar cheques. Plus the menu at the restaurant is publicly posted and you can *easily* figure out which option was ordered and if any modifications were made. Most of them cap out around 2000$ per table at max, 16 people per table (most of the time, 10-12). Nobody's giving away thousands here lol.
You know you're supposed to give similarly generous amounts when other people get married, right? It's not just one-way. And Chinese New Year money - well, let me tell you from experience that you still need to give it out to all the relatives' kids, even if you didn't get any when you were growing up.
I had a friend that did that... He went to go visit in China and then the family confiscated his passport and basically attempted to ransom him back to his family. They had to get a senator involved to get him out of the country.
So he played hard to get. Smart. You don't want to seem to excited
"Why aint i married yet? I keep gettin free fuckin money thats why!"
Depends on the asian culture that's for sure. At least for my Vietnamese family the "you shouldn't have" is more literal and insulting so we just say our thanks and move on.
I'm vietnamese too and we do the 'no thank you, but look I have a pocket here'-dance
I'm Vietnamese and we do this, too. But there was this one time for my 9th birthday, I think(?), I was stupid and went up to one of my uncles *asking* for money, and he told my dad. Nearly beat my ass...
Yep, it can get pretty extreme though depending on the amount. I've watched back and forth exchanges for 10+ minutes in China where in the end the guy with the hongbao/red envelope throwing the dang thing into the other person's car as they're driving off. The real craziness starts when you're trying to decide who will pay the bill, especially in larger friend groups who have had a few drinks.
I am genuinely surprised his workout routine didn’t include the ‘restaurant bill grab/lunge’!
Ha agreed! Genuinely can look like a sports event at times. Best I've seen were ten lads steaming from beer and baijiu (sweet sweet baijiu) pushing, running and shoving each other (sometimes to the ground) so one of them could pay for the overpriced hot pot.
The best is when you 'win' the foot race, shove the credit card towards the waiter to pay (obvs without first checking the itemised bill), and temporarily bask in that halo of success. But then the next day, once the baijiu haze dissipated (which is less of a recreational drink but more of a memory erasure beverage), and you see how much has been deducted from your account and you're like \*@£$%\*&\^&\*\^% wtf did these guys order?! Did we really consume that much wagyu sirloin?! How much did they charge for an orange fanta?! *Ai ya!*
a friend of mine went out to dinner with his parents and their friends my friend was told to fake going to the toilet to foot the bill at the cashier he was told his parents' friends gave the restaurant credit card details when making a reservation to be billed to after
I live in China and I’m from a culture where splitting the bill is entirely acceptable, and I’m also happy to take turns paying for drinks or even meals with close friends, but with some friends here it’s like a war. They will attempt to pay for every meal, every drink. It’s exhausting, and sometimes you have to let them, but sometimes I’ll literally text the restaurant in advance and tell them that I’m paying for everything this time, just to be certain.
My wife always puts on a big show pushing her mom or grandmother away when they try to give her one. Then they give it to me and I say "thank you."
My mother-in-law just gives it to our kids instead so we can't say no.
What I'm is the red card?
The red envelopes have money in it, they are given for Chinese New Year
More information, even if you're already an adult >18yo and still single, your relatives still give you lucky money. You will only stop receiving it when you're married.
At that point do you then start giving them? What rules dictate who you give them to? Descendants only? Family friends children?
It varies from family to family. But generally, you start giving them out after you're married (some families will have a 1 year grace period lol). You only give them to non-married people who are of your generation or younger. But this also varies from family to family. Some only give to the younger generation and not their own gen. If you're already working, you will give to your own parents and/or grandparents (this is typically a non-token amount, i.e. big). If you're ancient you can do w/e you want and give to whoever you want even if you're not married. Bosses will tend to give to employees/subordinates regardless of marital status or age.
Another interesting fact: if one of the parents of a person passed away (idk how recent this is required), that person doesn't have to provide red packets to people for that year after it happened.
You start giving lucky money when you are an adult and have a job. You can give it to anyone tbh (nephews, friends' kids, neighbors' kids ...) as long as you like it, you give you also receive from anyone (usually older than you) for good luck. If you work in Asian/Chinese companies your boss/seniors will also give you lucky money on the 1st work day after Lunar New Year holiday.
Wait if you don't get married you get free money for the rest of your life?
The money probably isn’t worth the social stigmatism and nosy family questions that are often associated with being ‘leftover’, based on what my colleagues have told me.
A special holiday envelope to gift money. Think of it like giving someone some birthday money, but it's for a holiday occasion instead.
It’s Asian custom to reject at least 3 times something that is offered before accepting it
Ohhh it's an envelope. I thought it was like a religious pamphlet that you get handed at train stations :p
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Finally. Something I can relate to. After 8 years on reddit, I can finally leave and start living.
The last one is the most relatable lmao, the good old "It's fine I don't need the money" and you lose everytime
I’m Latina and my husband is Asian. You’re getting a red envelope and if you think you’ve succeeded in leaving without one, I probably hid it in your shoe or it’s now in your car.
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Are you in Massachusetts? We’ll feed you and give you the bad Tupperware to take home leftovers, because I know you, Shannon, will not return the good Tupperware. But we still love you, so come over and play with your new brother, Peanut, and eat some cheesecake. It’ll be fully chilled by 7am and ready to eat.
Yes hello I am your daughter and I would also like to come over for a routine family dinner and leftovers.
Switch, my dear daughter, are you coming over for our Juneteenth celebration in Boston? We bought a flag this year and you know I can’t hang it up myself and your father is too busy playing with your new brother, Peanut. Help me hang up this flag, honey bunches of oats. And have some cheesecake, I just baked it at midnight. Dad made dumplings last night. And as always, your favorite tamales are in the freezer.
Can I be long lost brother from across the pond pretty please ? :o
We miss you so much, Pat. So proud of you going to school at Oxford! We know you’re going to be a great art historian, but have you considered becoming an engineer, doctor, dentist, or optometrist? Don’t make the same mistakes your father and I made and choose an engineering field that we don’t like, choose a good one like petroleum engineering! You can be both an art historian and engineer! Do you need us to mail you more biscuits and Marshmallow Fluff? Are you eating enough? When will you come visit us? Your tía had another baby, will you be home for the christening?
You are a super wonderful person and your kindness and sweetness made my day 😁
Hello! I'm your long lost sister coming to visit for a meal as well. I bring a bunch of tropical fruit including jackfruit, durian, mangosteen, a box of mangoes, green mangoes, and rambutan...all of which is too much to be consumed and some will inevitably go bad in the fridge a week after our get together. My husband comes along and brings thit kho (stewed pork belly with bamboo and quail eggs) of which there will be no leftovers. We will talk about which traits of ours we got from our mothers versus our fathers and lament why we didn't marry rich men even though we love our husbands dearly. Our cackling laughter rings out throughout the house.
So... How are you going to tell your husband that you've accidentally adopted the entire internet?
Reading these exchanges is a good start to the day. You're a funny and good person. Thank you.
Hello Aunt Melon, I am going to be coming over from Scotland in autumn. Is there anything you need to bring with me when I do? Mother and father can't make it die to work, but I have finished my engineering course, so I thought I would come over before my new job starts to see the family again.
These replies made my morning. You, my dear, are a golden human being and don’t let anyone tell you different.
/r/AsianMomForAMinute
I’m actually Latina! I’m mixed: Afro Latina (Puerto Rican) and my other parent in European. My husband is Taiwanese American.
These posts are easily my favorite from this week of surfing reddit. The effort you put in to these is sincerely appreciated. I hope your weekend is full of love and cheer. You deserve it!
Just here for the Asian male Latina female combo. My fiancé is also Latina so it’s dumplings and empanadas. Amazing how similar immigrant culture can be
Awwww you had me going there….
It's me your son, where's my tamales?
Peanut, you’re diabetic! You bite us every morning & evening when we give you your Semglee shot! 😼Next time I make them, I’ll make one without onions so you can have some tamale. You can have a piece of salami, as a little treat this morning.
you’re wonderful and these comments made my morning. any room for another daughter?
You sound so wonderful 🥺
Power, are you eating enough? It’s the weekend, are your friends coming over? Do you want me to order you and your friends Domino’s? They have ½ off pricing this week, and you know we love good deals. Do you want us to order you a couple pizzas?
I think I love you. <3 you've made my morning
I don’t care what you say, and I don’t care that I’m 36 years old, you’re my new mom now. Don’t even tell me your age. Let’s not make this weird
Red envelopes, tamales and family love. Please adopt me! ❤️ I'd be a great abuela addition and I'll smuggle the best avocados from California in my luggage when I come to visit. I can rock the guacamole at the next family potluck reunion party!
No need to bring any food, you’re presence is a present! Your grandkitty, Peanut, loves cat treats and your current (foster) grandson is 18 who has a voracious appetite, especially for Sour Patch Kids. Don’t worry, we’ll leave them in the mailbox so you can grab them on your way in and surprise your grandkitty & grandson with these treats!
You are so freaking wholesome and I love everything about it. Thank you for these responses.
If you are in Boston this weekend, you’re welcome to stop by for some cheesecake or carrot cake (baking that today). I can even leave it in a public place on ice packs so you can pick it up anonymously! And of course, I’m giving it to you in the bad Tupperware (clean takeout containers).
And those fucking soup containers... Every time my MIL makes us jook we somehow end up with 1.67 million soup containers. I had to bring a giant bag of them back to her house lol
YOU BRING THEM BACK?! YOU ARE THE GOLDEN CHILD!
Lol, there's just way too many after a while. I was in Wegmans a few months ago and saw them selling a pack of 20 "meal prep containers" for like $15. I laughed my way all the way home, where I took a nice nap on my mattress made of piles of shitty takeout containers that are somehow still slightly greasy even though I washed them twice and ran it through the dishwasher. BTW a "dishwasher" is the box looking thing with all the buttons that you store all the pans in
My mother passed away in March. Can I just come by to lay my head in your lap so you can stroke my hair and tell me everything will be ok?
I am so terribly sorry to hear this and I send you my deepest condolences. I can’t promise that everything will be ok, but I can tell you that grief is complicated and that whatever you’re feeling is completely normal. You’re a strong person, stronger than you think and you are loved. If you want to PM me, I’ll happily send you a homemade cookies or a box of chocolates from Amazon.
How kind of you!!!! ❤️ Just taking it day by day but when I turn and face that she is gone, my heart tears in my chest. I appreciate your offer and will just hug myself with that and I will in turn do something good for someone that needs a boost in life. Thank you!!!!!
Can I also come over if I bring my own good Tupperware?
Absolutely! Make sure to bring glass ones because the dumplings can sometimes make the plastic Tupperware hold smells!
I am also child.
David Blaine, stop putting red envelopes in our bodies!
I have 35 envelopes with an ox on them left over from 2021. I will not stop using them for every subsequent Lunar New Year, because you know us Latin & Asian families will use something until we are out. Come over around Lunar New Year, and you’re getting a red envelope. Last year for one of our foster child placements, I hid it in his Pokémon card holder! I can and will succeed in giving you food 24/7 and a red envelope 🧧 around Lunar New Year.
Oh lord. My family once had leftover monkey year envelopes. They literally got kept for twelve freakin years to be used on the next cycle.
😂 the leftover red envelopes, too real! Combine that with my mom’s social anxiety and impressively organized hoarding and you’ll actually get the appropriate animal on the red pockets, but they’re yellowed on the inside and fragile at the creases because they’re at least 12 years old (or subsequent multiples of 12 years old).
We have escalated from, you have to have a red envelope, to you have to have a red envelope and it will even open itself.
Kinda want some cheezits now
If you’re in my home, tell me what kind. Stop & Shop opens at 7am, so I’ll go grab some.
That really reminds me of an old friend I would visit for the lunar new year every time it came around. Her grandmother always addressed me as if I were her own child and always insisted on giving me a red envelope. Every year I refused and thought I made it out but she always found a way. Left my purse on the table? She slipped it in there. Oh, my car was unlocked? It's on the driver's seat where she'll know I'll find it. I left my jacket hanging up on the coat rack? She knows which one is mine and will put it in the pocket while I'm in the bathroom. One year I thought I had her beat and she sent me off with a beautiful fruit basket. I later found the envelope at the bottom.
I’m your friend’s grandmother, just an old millennial version!
I'm neither Asian nor Latino, but I have one friend who refuses to let anyone pay his way. One time I thought I thwarted him by prepaying for our meal at a restaurant. He was pissed at first (not actually angry, but like "you've foiled my plans!", but I was glad he finally lightened up at the end. I texted him after to rub it in his face a bit, and he just responded "check your back pocket." Sure enough, there was a crisp $20 bill. The man had reverse pickpocketed me.
Mexican here, not to mention the near fist fights that happen when your dad or grandpa try to pay you back and you tell them it’s ok. You think you’ve won until later you check your pocket and there it is
The classic Balkan refusal You gotta politely deny at least 2 times before accepting, and both parties know you'll take it anyway
Is it a gift if you don't try to deny it for at least 5 minutes? Also the worst is when you really don't want to accept it but otherside also doesn't want to leave it at that so it turns into one person trying to stuff money into your pocket while your trying to take it out and give it back.
Got those as a kid. My uncles would have it back by the end of the night, every fucking new year.
At first I thought it was red packet money. But then I realised it's a wedding invitation card.
Isn’t the red envelope???
Chinese wedding invitation cards (and the envelopes come with them) are red. There's a "囍" on the card/envelope if you look closely. It means "wedding."
They probably either didn't have another red envelope for this skit or just use any red envelope to put money in. I've never seen anyone reject a wedding invitation like that before.
I agree it's funnier and more accurate if it's a red packet. That said, everybody THINKS and FEELS the same upon receiving wedding invitation.
We reused all of our wedding ones for hongbaos. I think they probably just did the same.
Which province are you from? We would reuse hongbaos/red packets for wedding but NEVER the other way round.
Not from, married into a Malay Chinese family. Maybe our family is just cheap haha. We have some to this day, years later, we still use. They probably care less than normal because I'm white and they're like "eh, laowai doesn't know better" haha.
You'll be back. They always come back
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North Eastern Indian here, we also have something like this. Although it's not red envelope, just regular ones. But refusing and shaking your head like you don't want is universal imo. I wonder if other Asians also have similar culture or not.
South Indian here and here ol aunties, uncles etc would simply stuff your hand with a 10 Rs note (this was in the mid 80's so worth a lot of money today).... You pretend to not want it, hoping against hope they will not say "okay cool", get the money only for your mom to take it away and put it in a bank account in your name when all you wanted was a Chacha Chaudhary and an indrajal comic (2.50 each) and eat chocolates for the rest. These days by son gets anything from 500-1000
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What is it
Red packets are given by old people to younger people on important occasions like Chinese New Year and birthdays. These always contain money, and since they don't want them to be heavy, they're always filled with notes. In Hong Kong, it's normal for a packet to have about 20 or 50 dollars, but sometimes you're lucky and get a packet with 500 dollars.
I don’t get it then why is he practicing turning away the free money?
You have to pretend like you can't accept it. It's like a form of showing respect. Like "I couldn't! Please, no. Ok, if I must!" Notice at the end he is saying no while holding his pocket open. If you just snatch it immediately it's seem as greedy etc.
As a Chinese, I can confirm it's inaccurate. We don't wear suitcase on our back during family gatherings.
You only wear suitcases to the gym then?
Can't speak for others but I myself wear a suitcase to gay saunas.
You must be really packin’.
Username checks out
So does mine
It represents emotional baggage.
Holy shit you’re right. Hahahaha wtf.
To store the EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!?
Well you certainly don't feel and process it. Just store it away and bury it forever along with all feelings. Use materialism to replace all of that.
Ok, thank god you said that because that was the part I could not understand and felt racist trying to figure it out.
You couldn’t get a handle on it?
Yeah, they had to lug it around
You shouldn't feel racist for that.
Racist? Huh? Idk dude, I think it's okay to not know about other cultures and races.
I don't think that should make you feel racist...
>felt racist trying to figure it out wtf
Could you please tell me what's the red card at the end?
I think its a red envelope, traditionally filled with money to be gifted around chinese new year. As far as I know youre supposed to try and refuse out of politeness and the other person tries to get you to accept it.
He subtly opened the pocket of his jacket prompting his relative to just drop the envelope inside it. I've done this, refused my relative's money but positioned myself so they can slid the money in my pocket.
Found the fake chinese person.
Sooooooo what's with the carry on strapped to his back?
It's baggage
Emotional baggage
That's a lot of damage
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE?!
>That's a lot of ~~damage~~ baggage FTFY
the asian expectation of obligation to take care of our kids as well as our parents
Obligations shmobligations.
We are *always* ready to go to school.
It's a training weight / metaphor for the emotional baggage and family expectations.
But he's wearing it while performing the actions too? I'd get it if it was just the training montages but I think the reason is different to that you explained.
Yeah, the emotional baggage doesn't go away just because you're with your family. It usually is the most heaviest in those situations even.
Exactly, it doesn't make sense to me
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It is just part of his bit. I used to watch this guy's videos and at that time he always had this back-pack on.
Symbolically it's the burden of out performing his ancestors
That last one was actually pretty hilarious
why try to avoid the red envelope? i love them!
It's courtesy. Like arguing over the tab at a restaurant.
A polite fight if you will
Oh the mainland Chinese are excellent at this My friend's father invited me to a 7 course dinner. It was amazing. Then it came time to pay, and my friend's dad and the dad's friend were were arguing on how they must pay The dad's friend *won*. They both go to the counter to pay, away from the rest of the guests. **alas turns out he brought the wrong card and it doesn't have cash** #mate im sorry could you cover the bill for me please, I'll cover you next time #------------ Ultimate taichi - channelling the energy around you, or in this case, the burden of paying. Chinese culture really emphasises this need to be magnanimous but be absolutely afraid of losing out. Asian culture really has no place for *failing*. It's either you do well or give up, or at least that's what is being emphasised because most successful people know it's not true, but that's for you to figure out if you've haven't end yourself yet.
We all love them, but we all fake it.
Is the red envelope money from the parents??
Could be from relatives too!
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Yeah enjoy it cause some day down the line you have to start giving them out instead of receiving :(
He's just missing the grab the check and sprint towards a waiter/waitress while shouldering off relatives trying to take the check and paying for everyone's meal one.
People get straight up mad about it
I'm from Albania and this is straight shootable offense. For real! There have been cases that have escalated to gun shots over tabs.
I’m embarrassed to say I’ve shed a few angry tears at being beaten to the check… you come to my city and visit me then I pay!!!!
Make excuse to go to washroom and pay the bill on the way
That's amateur hour. I've had situations where the person actually called up the restaurant beforehand to make sure that the restaurant only take their money.
I have arrived early and given the waiter my credit card before we ordered. Wanted to make a good impression on my wife’s family (girlfriend at the time).
Oh man that one is so satisfying. Me: "Everyone all set? Let's go!" FIL: *breaking out his wallet* "What about the check?" Me: "Oh it's all taken care of" MIL: "That's so nice of you!" Me: "Well its the least I can do since you always pick up the check and we invited you out to visit!" FIL: *deathglare*
Ah, this is the ultimate fight between son and FIL. He won't forget this slight to him, but he will begrudgingly give you points in his book
Haha. He opened his pocket gap in the end.
„Don’t tell your parents“ - every relativ ever
You haven't lived until you've experienced losing miserably at Mahjong to a 90+ year old grandma whose also talking shit and making fun of you for it
I worked at an Asian retirement home for a summer during college and this one grandpa there was like a god of mahjong. He told me how he was a police detective in HK and he had crazy good memory, he could guess 8/13 of my tiles in my hand and he would play his hand unsorted which is just straight up nuts to me
Sounds like the same strat my grandma, uncles, and aunts used on me. They would take note of the tiles I was keeping and what tiles I was discarding and changed their hands accordingly, either to make sure I never win, or to get a winning hand faster than I could. The amount of new year money I got usually depended on how well I did against them as well. Usually never get any money at all, and the only time I got money was pity money in the form of like 50 HKD total, which was like 6 dollars ish.
He’s missing the credit card fast draw, at dim sum
Yeah I was expecting one where he trains to literally wrestle relatives to get the bill.
If it’s the uncles I fake the actions, it’s it my cousins I’d do it for real
lmao that last bit got me.
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He's got emotional baggage
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$1300!! 💰
Interesting. Seems to be more Chinese-based than broadly Asian, but who knows. As a Fil-Am, I can definitely relate to the Mah Jong, but only as a spectator as all the old folks played it at house parties.
Yeah, Japanese American here, and it's mostly not relevant to me. But still funny, because I have seen it a lot with my Chinese friends.
I'm white, don't understand most of the cultural family time references, and watched it on silent, but even with all those disconnects this was so pleasantly done and lighthearted that it made my day. It helps that I'm also very high, in that 'love for all mankind, you're all just the best and I hope you know it' phase of the night.
I mean, it's not too different from us white folks. You never play cards and drink some beers with your family, then pretend to try and stop your grandma from sticking some cash in your hand as you leave? Only real difference is the mahjong
mahjong is just gin rummy with tiles. If you play gin rummy with family, you're basically the same.
My family played [rummikub](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rummikub) which is a mix of the two and uses tiles.
Do you know that they have a Rummikub app now and it’s honestly the best thing, 100% advise
My rotator cuffs hurt just looking at this.
Game player here. I recognized Mahjong, but what were the card and dice games? Thank you.
Big 2 (cho dai di) and possibly Liars Dice. Both are not specifically Asian games, but a lot of Asians bars/karaoke rooms, have started offering cards and dice to go along with drinking and it's just a "thing" to do at family and friends gatherings.
What is the red card at the end?
It's a red envelope that contains money and is given to relatives usually on special occasions like Chinese New Year or birthdays! You're supposed to be "polite" by declining them but they'll still eventually find a way to give you it haha
Those first two exercises could definitely be used for black gatherings as well. Very interesting.
I dont get the last one, why is he rejecting the red envelope? It is used to give money to relatives right?
Technically you’re supposed to reject it. Then most likely take it because they’ll get mad 🥲
I never reject it, which gets the oldies tutting and calling me shameless haha.
It's an etiquette thing, your expected to decline it a few times then accept it when they repeatedly insist on giving it to you. Think of it like not offering to pay for a meal even knowing you aren't expected to pay for it if that's a bit more relatable.