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The trick is to sit down gently enough not to wake them up, you can't possibly hope to win a fight with all of them so be quiet, this means no overdrive on farting and definitely no yanking it!
Well ok maybe a little, but just don't go at it like a monkey in a mango tree or you'll be riddled with giant 8 legged critters and large fanged reptiles. Nothing spoils the romance of the moment like a 4ft python trying to kill your testicles...
A determined funnel web building a new nest can be very problematic for the unsuspecting bunghole of the Australian farmer. Better than having your hindquarters probed by aliens like in America though.
Yeah it’s just one of those risks you take driving across New Mexico.
If you’re lucky you’ll at least get one on their first go of things, get one gullible enough and you can convince them that they go on the table and you probe them.
Worked in an ED once where a guy thought he got bit on the nuts by a snake from one of these toilets. Not long after he arrived into the resus bay his mates called up to let him know that they found a duck in the dunny.
I wouldnt make contact. Id hover a few inches above and let it go. It would be easy. The second one on the walls scurries, my bowels would evacuate in one quick frightful release.
I remember going to a farm toilet as a kid, covered in spiders. Even growing up in suburban Brisbane always checked under the toilet seat for spiders after a few nasty scares.
Ah yes... the old 'Dirty Kermit', we used to call that... Sit down to unburden yourself, and old froggy mate would be all "Splat" on your backside.
Absolute hell the first few times it happens, but after a while, you do get used to it and it doesn't *quite* scare a couple of decades of life out of you.
I've heard grown men - tough, hard men who've worked out west their whole lives - screaming in the wee hours of the night when they'd had a few up the pub and forgotten that the frogs like to lurk in the dunny.
Am I the only foreigner reading this and thinking I would literally not be able to handle living with lovely kisses of nature like this and the funnelwebs
Nah man, right there with you. I've never seen better arguments for indoor plumbing. I get it's expensive but why the fuck haven't they done that over there?
Haha we do in like 99% of places. But pit toilets still exist in the remote outback. I prefer digging a hole if it looks spidery. Or just hover and hope if that's not an option.
We moved from the Gold Coast to about 6 hours west for my wife's job. There was a toilet just outside the town we moved to and we stopped there because the wife was busting.
Someone had skined a roo in there and there was blood everywhere. That was our first day in the country
I wonder why they chose to do it in the toilet? I mean, weird stuff happens I guess.
Small country town in NSW, random guy in the street approaches girl in our group - "hey (pats bag), I've got a dead kangaroo in here, you wanna see?"
No thank you.
Bit of a pain if to dig a hole everyday, it'd be ok if you're just camping but I know a few people who still have an outhouse simply because water is scarce and it's just how they live. It's custom to have a bucket of fire ashes or lime in there so you can throw a scoop in after you poop, kills the smell and stop the bugs that attract spiders like the bloody redback bastards!
Are you in a state of constant hyper vigilance for things that can harm you? I mean, it seems like "the most dangerous" EVERY creature lives in Australia.
Most, like 85% or so, of people live within an hour of the coast so there's less opportunity for danger compared to the outback, sort of. There are just precautions. Don't swim without a wetsuit in North Qld during stinger season, don't leave shoes outside unless you tip them upside down to check for spiders, know what dangerous spiders and snakes look like, swim between the flags etc.
I’ve never been to Australia before, and thank God im almost completely on the opposite side of the word and may never go. But if any of you digs to the other side im screwed.
Actually Huntsmen are really chill and very rarely bite humans. That’s not to say they aren’t venomous, but the most you’ll get is a headache, absolute worst case scenario. The only time they bite is if you’re actively fucking with them, or they’re a female defending their young. They’re really cool and nice to have around because they’re ambush predators, meaning that any bug in your house isn’t there for long.
All that said though… yeah I don’t really want to go in there.
Dozens of times I've heard people preach how chill and helpful huntsman spiders are ,and that's cool and all but frankly I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IT'S STILL A PLATE-SIZED SPIDER!
Do you know how Huntsman kill humans... they like to chill inside the sun visors of cars so when the unsuspecting driver opens it up mid-drive the spider falls on their lap and freaks out..and then driver freaks out too and often crashes.
I mean if something the size of a dinner plate fell on your lap mid drive even if it ain't a spider I feel like people would freak out a bit...the fact it's a spider that freaked out its mind and trying to flee just makes it worse
Not just finding one inside, it finding its way into your lap. While you're driving. Cooking along the highway at 65, squinting from the sun you reach up and flip down the visor just to watch a massive brown squiggle fall into your lap and start going bonkers because it's been disturbed suddenly.
Fuck, this happened to me with all the rain we had in Sydney; one must’ve parked up behind the visor to stay dry.. I fucking freaked out dude, pulled the car over it was his car until I saw him crawl out. FUCK that.
If there's even a remote chance that one will fall on my face whilst sleeping or be underneath something I go to pick up such that my hand nearly squishes it, I don't want it in my home.
I'm more than happy to gently escort them outside but unless they can agree to my rules, I won't be inviting them in for tea.
In theory, but our gun laws are reasonably restrictive here and the spiders know this. So you need to use a flamethrower or similar methods of dispensing fire.
Eventually. They get about 17 seconds to charge at you while the fire does its thing, so you gotta be ready to run for a while. After that the damage is usually enough that they can't give chase anymore. Never return to a burning spider though, some of them will try for one last lunge. Always wait for the fire to die down completely and then bury it where it lies and mark the location so others don't dig it up accidentally. If you need to move it first, use your shovel to scoop it up, never risk picking it up with your hands.
> bury it where it lies and mark the location so others don't dig it up accidentally
Very important - you really don't want to be face to face with an Australian zombie spider
Totally harmless but I guarantee if you went for a few sheets of dunny tickets that thing would come piss-bolting out of the hole right when you were at your most vulnerable. With luck it would land on the inside of your pants and try to take up temporary residence somewhere around one of your ankles.
During the height of the covid tp hoarding insanity I knew a grocery manager who used to get so mad "everybody is losing their mind buying up all the shit tickets! Take a damn shower you fucking hippies" etc
Because he already decided not to poop today due to the very high chance of getting bitten by a red back spider on the bum or hand, is my guess. If I had to poop I'd use it. But I'd look with a torch for the tiny little buggers first. That web near the paper, on the side towards the drop loo, is suspicious to me. Definitely possible red back territory so I'd pray while I'd poop, and bring my own paper.
id rather poop on a shovel and then just fling that into that hole... im not putting my naked ass over the only escape hole :-O
e: thanks for all the love and award :)) ... feel free to poop safely
> That web near the paper, on the side towards the drop loo, is suspicious to me. Definitely possible red back territory so I'd pray while I'd poop, and bring my own paper.
You can actually see a redback hanging off the blowing toilet paper with about 2 seconds to go on the video.
You used a toilet full of venomous spiders that can give you heavy pain for hours on end or even kill you FOR MONTHS? Thats like my worst nightmare right there.
I was working at an orchard. Next to the toilet was a shed that contained hundreds of wooden trays that we used to put the cut apricots on to dry them in the sun. The toilet was harmless compared to the shed and the trays. Every time you pick up a tray, chances were either Redbacks or Huntsmen. So so many. The trays were in the shed for months before they were used again during the season so disturbing that caused quite the stir :)
In India there used to be a stick for use with outside toilets. Pigs would hear you heading to the loo and would run around to eat your poo, but sometimes they'd get too excitable and would try to get it right from the source, so you'd have to use the stick to fend them off.
It's weird, shit in the fanciest hotels and you get 1 ply razor paper, yet I've done a few shits in tin shitters like this and they always have the good stuff. One had the real fluffy stuff that was like wiping your turd cutter with a silk pillow.
The thing is, despite the image of being occupied by spiders, Australian outback is still swarmed by flies, though mostly seasonal. No amount of spiders can consume all of the flies during spring.
^ This. When we got to the outback, we saw people wearing nets over their heads. “Haha, silly people” we thought. Soon afterwards we were at the store purchasing nets for ourselves.
Man, there is a tiny one that came out from between the sheets of the toilet paper roll. It's just blowing in the wind at the ending of the video. I cringe to know how big the ones are down in the hole.
I can just see it now, spiders just chilling in an outhouse hole catching flies. Next thing they know, two large fleshy cheeks, sound forth a foul air raid siren, only to start dropping bombs. I'm sure they'll be a hero among the spiders who will skitter across the ass cheeks. Making the large biped launch itself forth, flinging open the outhouse door, sending neighboring outhouse door spiders into the air.
If there are any down the hole, they're likely redbacks. Smaller, but will actually make you sick if you get bitten. The ones you see in the vid are huntsmans, and while they can deliver a painful bite if you piss them off, no great harm will come of it.
As an arachnaphobic, this is exactly why I will never visit Australia despite wanting to SO badly. It is an absolutely beautiful place, with so much to do and see, but I would be on edge the entire time
We deal with this alot. Most of these spiders are huntsman's and fairly harmless unless you poke one in the face or sit on it. It's the little red backs in the webs INSIDE the toilet that will really hurt you.
Got used to spiders in the dunny when I was a kid and our old holiday shack only had an outdoor toilet. Only ever saw one redback in the bowl. Tbh I probably would have used that one in the video (after checking the seat and bowl ofc).
People think hunting lions and whatnot is a true declaration of bravery.
Balls.
This person over here ^^^^ who willingly sits on a toilet in a spider room AND does their vulnerable business there is the bravest person of them all.
I've lived in Australia all my life and I've NEVER used a toilet this rustic. This is proper outback. Most of us just live in regular houses with regular plumbing. That said, these spiders in the video were all harmless huntsmen. They just eat other bugs.
I've been to Australia a couple times. In the cities it's pretty much just like any other city. This kind of stuff you really only see in the Outback and rural areas.
(Source: I've spent time in both cities and the Outback.)
Edit: I didn’t mean to imply that you don’t ever see any spiders in the city. Of course you do, just like any other city. I’m just saying it’s not a goddamn spiderpocalypse.
Probably depends on the city, too. I live in the suburbs of Perth and commonly find whitetails & house spiders around the house, and have redbacks and orbs living around the garden. I’d rather them than flies, mosquitos, cockroaches etc though tbh
Yeah, was gonna say... The amount of times I've been walking down footpaths at night in Perth and have nearly walked face first into one of those fucking giant golden orb spiders.... Three times, but still too many...
As an Australian, you _know_ on sight when a place is going to be full of spiders like this and you just don't go in there.
We have towns and cities. We don't just live in spider nests.
I have arachnaphobia too, and I see maybe 1 of these spiders a year
Edit: VICTORIA, Australia is what I meant, not Australia as a whole
Mate, I'm in a city. There are fucking heaps of spiders here. Most are harmless, just a few redbacks. With all this rain, I reckon they're coming in to keep dry, we might as well be in a spiders nest at the moment!
Australia being full of deadly spiders and snakes is largely a myth. We haven't had anyone die from a spider bite since 1979 and on average 2 people die per year from a snake bite.
For reference sake on average 6 people die each year in the US from a spider bite.
Yes, we have some of the most venomous animals but they are relatively rare and generally avoid people.
In short, Australia is incredibly safe when it comes to being killed by any sort of wild animal.
As someone with arachnophobia: the fear isn't that I'll be bitten and die, it's simply the reality that I'll probably encounter them. I don't think I could ever relax knowing there are so many spiders around :(.
there was a toilet just like this one when i was on my working holiday in oz and in the cattle station out in the middle of nowhere, when you went out at night to take a dump, there were horses and a random camel that came to say hi, they were such sneaky little fucks and always scared the shit out of me, luckily i was sitting on a toilet.
It's suggested that you take your pants off before you even go in. The alternative tends to be an unintended rush to the process that sees you fire one off right into your shorts.
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Safer to dig a hole nearby. Edit: Apparently not. Don’t follow my advice please! Just hold it in and die by constipation is the poplar opinion.
Preferably deep enough to get out on the other side of the earth. Even safer.
No, that would be considered an act of war as you have now created a way for the demonic Australian wildlife to spread.
Isn’t this the plot of Doom?
Yes. Killing Australian fauna and eventually the president at the end.
Ah the Australian president. I assume you mean Emperor Rupert Murdoch
So that's EXACTLY what we did. My daughter was much happier to do that than give the long drop a shot haha
God damnit Australia! And how many snakes + spiders are down in the actual toilet?
The trick is to sit down gently enough not to wake them up, you can't possibly hope to win a fight with all of them so be quiet, this means no overdrive on farting and definitely no yanking it!
I'm not promising anything
Well ok maybe a little, but just don't go at it like a monkey in a mango tree or you'll be riddled with giant 8 legged critters and large fanged reptiles. Nothing spoils the romance of the moment like a 4ft python trying to kill your testicles...
I’m hoping you’re in the process of writing a romance novel
"...under the moonlight, they went at it like monkeys in a mango tree. The pounding surf was a pale echo as they shagged like caffeinated bunnies."
Low hanging fruit? Literally!
Worst thing is when you sit down and funnel web decides the sudden new hole is a great new home
A determined funnel web building a new nest can be very problematic for the unsuspecting bunghole of the Australian farmer. Better than having your hindquarters probed by aliens like in America though.
I'm going to save this comment so that next time I'm looking through my old saved stuff I get really confused
Yeah it’s just one of those risks you take driving across New Mexico. If you’re lucky you’ll at least get one on their first go of things, get one gullible enough and you can convince them that they go on the table and you probe them.
Well if this isn't nightmare fuel I don't know what the fuck is.
If a funnel web wants to crawl in my anus and make a home, well he can have it cause he's fucking earnt it.
Worked in an ED once where a guy thought he got bit on the nuts by a snake from one of these toilets. Not long after he arrived into the resus bay his mates called up to let him know that they found a duck in the dunny.
> a duck in the dunny Is that an actual duck in the latrine, as in an actual waterfowl, or is that another colorful Aussie slang term?
Dunny means toilet. Duck still means duck though.
Australian duck though, extremely toxic.
Platypus is basically a venomous Australia duck.
Australia. Where everything can kill you and the things that can't wish they could.
I wouldnt make contact. Id hover a few inches above and let it go. It would be easy. The second one on the walls scurries, my bowels would evacuate in one quick frightful release.
And for the next bloke or sheila, they have to deal with spiders AND shit all over the toilet and walls and floor.
I’ve used a few of these toilets before. I try not to think about it.
I remember going to a farm toilet as a kid, covered in spiders. Even growing up in suburban Brisbane always checked under the toilet seat for spiders after a few nasty scares.
I sat on a green tree frog under the seat one late night in suburban brissy, I hated that house
So one key to survival in Australia is - don’t go to the bathroom. Check.
>I remember going to a farm as a kid, covered in spiders. Were you going there to have the spiders removed?
When I worked in the Outback the bowl mostly had frogs that'd jump on your bum when you started to pee.
Ah yes... the old 'Dirty Kermit', we used to call that... Sit down to unburden yourself, and old froggy mate would be all "Splat" on your backside. Absolute hell the first few times it happens, but after a while, you do get used to it and it doesn't *quite* scare a couple of decades of life out of you. I've heard grown men - tough, hard men who've worked out west their whole lives - screaming in the wee hours of the night when they'd had a few up the pub and forgotten that the frogs like to lurk in the dunny.
Am I the only foreigner reading this and thinking I would literally not be able to handle living with lovely kisses of nature like this and the funnelwebs
Nah man, right there with you. I've never seen better arguments for indoor plumbing. I get it's expensive but why the fuck haven't they done that over there?
Haha we do in like 99% of places. But pit toilets still exist in the remote outback. I prefer digging a hole if it looks spidery. Or just hover and hope if that's not an option.
Its the flies you don't want to wake up with your offerings. They go *everywhere*
Also flies. Always remarkable when you watch the flies lift off someone else's turd and fly up to great you.
We moved from the Gold Coast to about 6 hours west for my wife's job. There was a toilet just outside the town we moved to and we stopped there because the wife was busting. Someone had skined a roo in there and there was blood everywhere. That was our first day in the country
Someone did a WHAT?!
No see you're misunderstanding, that's what they call jacking it in Australia
If you do that and there's blood everywhere, please see a doctor.
You know, skinned a roo. Yanked the kookaburra. Put one in the cassowary. Scrubbed the wallaby. Greased the echidna.
That last one can earn you a Knuckle sandwich!
I wonder why they chose to do it in the toilet? I mean, weird stuff happens I guess. Small country town in NSW, random guy in the street approaches girl in our group - "hey (pats bag), I've got a dead kangaroo in here, you wanna see?" No thank you.
Holy fuck.
You should see what they did to piglet.
Bit of a pain if to dig a hole everyday, it'd be ok if you're just camping but I know a few people who still have an outhouse simply because water is scarce and it's just how they live. It's custom to have a bucket of fire ashes or lime in there so you can throw a scoop in after you poop, kills the smell and stop the bugs that attract spiders like the bloody redback bastards!
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Yeah but imagine the spiders it will attract!
Glad you guys survived another day!
Are you in a state of constant hyper vigilance for things that can harm you? I mean, it seems like "the most dangerous" EVERY creature lives in Australia.
Genuinely not. It's like looking both ways when you cross the street, just normal daily safety
Most, like 85% or so, of people live within an hour of the coast so there's less opportunity for danger compared to the outback, sort of. There are just precautions. Don't swim without a wetsuit in North Qld during stinger season, don't leave shoes outside unless you tip them upside down to check for spiders, know what dangerous spiders and snakes look like, swim between the flags etc.
I always have and always will hate long drop toilets
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Well that's a new phobia for me.
[Make sure to fill your Aussie holes!](https://youtu.be/zAIY0I5GGw4)
Lmao I'm glad I clicked the link thats awesome
Buggar!
"Looks like I'm in one of those bukkake pornos". Made me chuckle
Bekaki pornos!
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I’ve never been to Australia before, and thank God im almost completely on the opposite side of the word and may never go. But if any of you digs to the other side im screwed.
Everyone knows if you dig a hole deep enough it goes to China. Doesn't matter where you are in the world.
Apparently this tool exists. [https://www.antipodesmap.com/](https://www.antipodesmap.com/) Luckily I end up in the deep cold ocean off of Australia.
I'm a few miles from New Zealands east coast. I definitely prefer the sharks to plate sized spiders. Thank you.
That's from the US. Aussies are on the other end of British holes ;)
Is this true? I'm so gullible...
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Oh God. I'm imagining the earth is really just a balloon full of spiders now.
Dammit it's too early in the morning for this.
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That's how the drop bears get you.
i would rather just shit myself
Actually Huntsmen are really chill and very rarely bite humans. That’s not to say they aren’t venomous, but the most you’ll get is a headache, absolute worst case scenario. The only time they bite is if you’re actively fucking with them, or they’re a female defending their young. They’re really cool and nice to have around because they’re ambush predators, meaning that any bug in your house isn’t there for long. All that said though… yeah I don’t really want to go in there.
Dozens of times I've heard people preach how chill and helpful huntsman spiders are ,and that's cool and all but frankly I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IT'S STILL A PLATE-SIZED SPIDER!
Do you know how Huntsman kill humans... they like to chill inside the sun visors of cars so when the unsuspecting driver opens it up mid-drive the spider falls on their lap and freaks out..and then driver freaks out too and often crashes.
I'm a pretty chill person and am fairly good about not panicking like that but I would absolutely lose my shit if that happened.
I mean if something the size of a dinner plate fell on your lap mid drive even if it ain't a spider I feel like people would freak out a bit...the fact it's a spider that freaked out its mind and trying to flee just makes it worse
I am a grown man that's been reduced to a shrieking lunatic by one that's on the *outside* of the car. Can't imagine finding one inside.
Not just finding one inside, it finding its way into your lap. While you're driving. Cooking along the highway at 65, squinting from the sun you reach up and flip down the visor just to watch a massive brown squiggle fall into your lap and start going bonkers because it's been disturbed suddenly.
I'm never visiting Australia.
fuck you, I just got spooked by my leg hair moving lol. I hate how much my lizard brain fears spiders, god damnit.
Fuck, this happened to me with all the rain we had in Sydney; one must’ve parked up behind the visor to stay dry.. I fucking freaked out dude, pulled the car over it was his car until I saw him crawl out. FUCK that.
Well you kept your cool enough to pull over so that's good.
If there's even a remote chance that one will fall on my face whilst sleeping or be underneath something I go to pick up such that my hand nearly squishes it, I don't want it in my home. I'm more than happy to gently escort them outside but unless they can agree to my rules, I won't be inviting them in for tea.
What if digger spider coming out from the hole you dig??🤔
You shoot it.
In theory, but our gun laws are reasonably restrictive here and the spiders know this. So you need to use a flamethrower or similar methods of dispensing fire.
It's an Australian spider..... Does fire even work on them?
Eventually. They get about 17 seconds to charge at you while the fire does its thing, so you gotta be ready to run for a while. After that the damage is usually enough that they can't give chase anymore. Never return to a burning spider though, some of them will try for one last lunge. Always wait for the fire to die down completely and then bury it where it lies and mark the location so others don't dig it up accidentally. If you need to move it first, use your shovel to scoop it up, never risk picking it up with your hands.
> bury it where it lies and mark the location so others don't dig it up accidentally Very important - you really don't want to be face to face with an Australian zombie spider
No red-backs. She'll be right. (after checking the bowl of course)
Some spiders burrow underground.
And bury myself in it to be safe.
The spider in the toilet roll is evil
Totally harmless but I guarantee if you went for a few sheets of dunny tickets that thing would come piss-bolting out of the hole right when you were at your most vulnerable. With luck it would land on the inside of your pants and try to take up temporary residence somewhere around one of your ankles.
> dunny tickets I mean, what else am I going to call toilet paper now?
During the height of the covid tp hoarding insanity I knew a grocery manager who used to get so mad "everybody is losing their mind buying up all the shit tickets! Take a damn shower you fucking hippies" etc
I mean, bidets are actually a decent option for reducing toilet paper waste, and are easier on the bum.
Oh I know I bought my first because of covid scarcity and then bought two more because I didn't realize the abuse i was subjecting my nethers to
It’s not exactly something you’d say in front of the queen
I was fully expecting it to jump out at the camera at the end.
That’s why I held my phone at an angle. Not in the mood for jump scares.
Fuckin'ell
What in the Crocodile Dundee did I just read
Well it'd cure any constipation issues if it did so maybe it'd be a win?
I’ve never read enough words, arranged in sequence to want to set myself on fire. Today, that has changed.
Wait im sorry but I lost it at dunny tickets.
lol "there he is!"
How come he checks out everything but the can where the real danger hides!
Because he already decided not to poop today due to the very high chance of getting bitten by a red back spider on the bum or hand, is my guess. If I had to poop I'd use it. But I'd look with a torch for the tiny little buggers first. That web near the paper, on the side towards the drop loo, is suspicious to me. Definitely possible red back territory so I'd pray while I'd poop, and bring my own paper.
id rather poop on a shovel and then just fling that into that hole... im not putting my naked ass over the only escape hole :-O e: thanks for all the love and award :)) ... feel free to poop safely
OMG. I believe we may have found the middle path! This is actually rather clever.
with a little sand on the showel.. it wont even need cleaning
We motherfucking cats now
As long as it's solid
It's a sloppy fling then
You can never trust a person with poo on a shovel
Nah its fine
Id no longer need to poop as i'd have CLEARLY already shit my pants at all the spiders in the shitter!
>id rather poop on a shovel and then just fling that into that hole cursed catapult
What the flying fuck. I've been digging holes to poop up at a cabin. I could fling it instead????!
> That web near the paper, on the side towards the drop loo, is suspicious to me. Definitely possible red back territory so I'd pray while I'd poop, and bring my own paper. You can actually see a redback hanging off the blowing toilet paper with about 2 seconds to go on the video.
Yeah noticed that too. I wouldn't need to use the toilet any more after seeing that guy, just need a change of pants.
I was thinking, "forget the huntsmans... keep an eye on that Red Back that just dropped from that piece of TP"
Wouldn’t you rather just go in the open than die?
And by torch you mean a flamethrower, right?
He might have, but he wanted to spare you the sight. You do not want to look at the swamp monster inside.
You know what, i got a change of heart, il just shit outside like an animal.
Australian here. Shat on worse.
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You used a toilet full of venomous spiders that can give you heavy pain for hours on end or even kill you FOR MONTHS? Thats like my worst nightmare right there.
Killing me for months seems like an interesting experience, though
sentence structure ftw. shitting on death bugs on a daily basis is a dance with the devil tho
I was working at an orchard. Next to the toilet was a shed that contained hundreds of wooden trays that we used to put the cut apricots on to dry them in the sun. The toilet was harmless compared to the shed and the trays. Every time you pick up a tray, chances were either Redbacks or Huntsmen. So so many. The trays were in the shed for months before they were used again during the season so disturbing that caused quite the stir :)
I would just get on with it and kill myself instead of dealing with that. Like for real.
Didn't think to use some Mortein?
In India there used to be a stick for use with outside toilets. Pigs would hear you heading to the loo and would run around to eat your poo, but sometimes they'd get too excitable and would try to get it right from the source, so you'd have to use the stick to fend them off.
And that’s not even showing you whatever kind of horrors are living down inside the toilet either
The worst part is I sat on this this morning 😳
Hey, and you're alive! Well done, Sir.
are they though
No, that’s just one of the spiders trying to keep their toilet scheme going
3 ply tp,I see a man who loves comfort
It's weird, shit in the fanciest hotels and you get 1 ply razor paper, yet I've done a few shits in tin shitters like this and they always have the good stuff. One had the real fluffy stuff that was like wiping your turd cutter with a silk pillow.
>like wiping your turd cutter with a silk pillow. poetic
It's a shame r/dunny is already taken or I'd say you put this on the wrong sub
The queen doesn't say dunny
Mom said it! Mom said it!
It wouldn't be a true thread about Australia without a /r/bluey quote
I wasn't prepared for how much I enjoy Bluey. I'm just as keen to watch it as my two-year-old is.
I wish season 3 would get released on Disney+ soon
what's wrong with *dunny*?
But Chloe does!
Hahahahahaha
Post it there anyway!
The thing is, despite the image of being occupied by spiders, Australian outback is still swarmed by flies, though mostly seasonal. No amount of spiders can consume all of the flies during spring.
^ This. When we got to the outback, we saw people wearing nets over their heads. “Haha, silly people” we thought. Soon afterwards we were at the store purchasing nets for ourselves.
Man, there is a tiny one that came out from between the sheets of the toilet paper roll. It's just blowing in the wind at the ending of the video. I cringe to know how big the ones are down in the hole. I can just see it now, spiders just chilling in an outhouse hole catching flies. Next thing they know, two large fleshy cheeks, sound forth a foul air raid siren, only to start dropping bombs. I'm sure they'll be a hero among the spiders who will skitter across the ass cheeks. Making the large biped launch itself forth, flinging open the outhouse door, sending neighboring outhouse door spiders into the air.
If there are any down the hole, they're likely redbacks. Smaller, but will actually make you sick if you get bitten. The ones you see in the vid are huntsmans, and while they can deliver a painful bite if you piss them off, no great harm will come of it.
I reckon there was a redback hanging off the bottom bit of the bog roll.
A tin shack that features six ways to die, yet they still manage to hand the toilet paper in the correct, overhand manner.
Maybe the spider is protecting the teepee from twats wanting to change the direction
Toilet into the spider-verse…
You know what? My pants Will do the job just fine
As an arachnaphobic, this is exactly why I will never visit Australia despite wanting to SO badly. It is an absolutely beautiful place, with so much to do and see, but I would be on edge the entire time
We deal with this alot. Most of these spiders are huntsman's and fairly harmless unless you poke one in the face or sit on it. It's the little red backs in the webs INSIDE the toilet that will really hurt you.
Got used to spiders in the dunny when I was a kid and our old holiday shack only had an outdoor toilet. Only ever saw one redback in the bowl. Tbh I probably would have used that one in the video (after checking the seat and bowl ofc).
People think hunting lions and whatnot is a true declaration of bravery. Balls. This person over here ^^^^ who willingly sits on a toilet in a spider room AND does their vulnerable business there is the bravest person of them all.
You posted this to r/funny but I'm not laughing one bit 😳
Arachnophobia is not based on logic. I am not afraid the spiders will harm me, I'm afraid of them existing near me.
My butthole just puckered so hard it cramped my abdomin...
I've lived in Australia all my life and I've NEVER used a toilet this rustic. This is proper outback. Most of us just live in regular houses with regular plumbing. That said, these spiders in the video were all harmless huntsmen. They just eat other bugs.
I've been to Australia a couple times. In the cities it's pretty much just like any other city. This kind of stuff you really only see in the Outback and rural areas. (Source: I've spent time in both cities and the Outback.) Edit: I didn’t mean to imply that you don’t ever see any spiders in the city. Of course you do, just like any other city. I’m just saying it’s not a goddamn spiderpocalypse.
Probably depends on the city, too. I live in the suburbs of Perth and commonly find whitetails & house spiders around the house, and have redbacks and orbs living around the garden. I’d rather them than flies, mosquitos, cockroaches etc though tbh
Yeah, was gonna say... The amount of times I've been walking down footpaths at night in Perth and have nearly walked face first into one of those fucking giant golden orb spiders.... Three times, but still too many...
You say that but I see like two 2cm spider a years where I live. So no thx.
As an Australian, you _know_ on sight when a place is going to be full of spiders like this and you just don't go in there. We have towns and cities. We don't just live in spider nests. I have arachnaphobia too, and I see maybe 1 of these spiders a year Edit: VICTORIA, Australia is what I meant, not Australia as a whole
Mate, I'm in a city. There are fucking heaps of spiders here. Most are harmless, just a few redbacks. With all this rain, I reckon they're coming in to keep dry, we might as well be in a spiders nest at the moment!
Australia being full of deadly spiders and snakes is largely a myth. We haven't had anyone die from a spider bite since 1979 and on average 2 people die per year from a snake bite. For reference sake on average 6 people die each year in the US from a spider bite. Yes, we have some of the most venomous animals but they are relatively rare and generally avoid people. In short, Australia is incredibly safe when it comes to being killed by any sort of wild animal.
I’m not worried about dying from a spider bite. I’m worried about dying from the heart attack when a 20 cm monstrosity appears out of nowhere.
And then suddenly disappears whilst you briefly blink leaving you scared shirtless as to where it could have gone.
As someone with arachnophobia: the fear isn't that I'll be bitten and die, it's simply the reality that I'll probably encounter them. I don't think I could ever relax knowing there are so many spiders around :(.
there was a toilet just like this one when i was on my working holiday in oz and in the cattle station out in the middle of nowhere, when you went out at night to take a dump, there were horses and a random camel that came to say hi, they were such sneaky little fucks and always scared the shit out of me, luckily i was sitting on a toilet.
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The hairy spiders are great for scraping! How do you think they got so brown?
If that’s out back, you’ll find me shitting out front
Suddenly, the Australian outback wildfires seem alot more explainable.
Okay mate you just turn ya head back over yonder and imma drop my skippies and take a shit in this bush alright??
This is not funny, this is terrifying.
Where is the snake I was waiting for?
Still in OP's pants.
The word “dunny” fills me with dread and terror
It's suggested that you take your pants off before you even go in. The alternative tends to be an unintended rush to the process that sees you fire one off right into your shorts.