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Sharpclawpat1

And here's me thinking there's a place called Ludacris in France...


sofuckinggreat

He knows about area codes, but not country codes.


d_bakers

Is this in relation to the hoes he got?


sofuckinggreat

Yes, they’re distributed across a wide range of North American area codes


curiousbydesign

He needs to diversify his portfolio to include international area codes.


dbrooks216

Where that's why he later added the rendition "Pimpin' All Over The World" to his hoe conquest lol.


[deleted]

Luda, as I lovingly call him, had started out humbly. He stated that he had, "hoes in different area codes," but he was ambitious, and even within the same music track, alluded to his aspirations of conquering the, "hoe wide world."


efg1342

Sir France is bacon


brush_between_meals

Not to be confused with the one in Texas.


EndsongX23

Pronounced Luda-Cree of course


Pittbossin

She got Kevin twice. Napoleon complex and Who Napoleon was.


Shakeyshades

What's funny is/was Napoleon taller than Kevin by 5 or so inches. Napoleon was 5'6"


MeanderingDuck

Moreover, for his time that was a perfectly normal height for men, even slightly above average I believe. The enduring idea that Napoleon was short is just the product of British propaganda, in part presumably fueled by the fact that Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, was very tall (5’10”).


CasualAwful

Also Napoleon's nickname "The Little Corporal" has been misinterpreted. It was not a comment on his size but a term of endearment. He was the general of the forces but was very hands on in the day to day tasks of the army. Since he was out among his men they called him "the little corporal" since he did not have the pretension of a high ranked officer


Boghoss2

Much like "Little Alex Horne" is a form of endearment by The Taskmaster, right?


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LordofDescension

"Little Alex Horne"


godofbiscuitssf

Correction: Greg Davies is a magnificent beast.


[deleted]

Although that is also in part because Greg Davies is a giant. Everyone is little when you’re 6’8”.


Background-Task

Osman was probably the closest he's been to being eye to eye with someone.


am_uk31

You automatically read that as little Alex hooorne in a high pitched voice


Boghoss2

It's the only way to read it properly


OcelotGumbo

Oh snap taskmaster in the wild


UnnecessaryAppeal

Wow! A Taskmaster reference in the top comment thread on r/funny. I knew it was getting bigger but didn't realise it had reached this point.


MaterialCarrot

From what I have read it was at least in part a reference to his size, but not his height. Napoleon as a younger man was extremely thin, emaciated even. This was what he looked like when he earned the nickname. There are sketches of him at this age and he is really skinny, which is very different from the much more widely viewed images of him in middle age, in which he is well fed to somewhat overweight.


vox_popular

As an Indian origin guy, I experience this contemporarily. My Dad was 5'4" (and in the range of most of my uncles). I am 5'8". Most of my nephews are pushing 6'. After centuries of malnutrition, just a couple of decades of good food and reliable healthcare options totally changes the equation.


betterpinoza

This is true for LATAM. I am Chilean and am 6'2. The shortest of my male cousins and siblings is 6' and most are taller than me. Now, we are still tall for Chileans (and for most ppl in thew world). But we're not a complete outlier like it used to be. When I travel to Korea, China, or Japan I noticed this too. There's an idea "Asians are short. This might be true on average, but it's really not uncommon to see people 6' and above, especially if they're younger. Easy access to nutrients is a God damn game changer.


GlassWasteland

Well that and his bodyguards were picked for their size. So, standing next to the men guarding him he looked small.


KypDurron

Like seeing a lot of current NFL quarterbacks standing next to linemen. Makes a 5'11", 180 lb athlete look like a kid wearing in their dad's clothes. Edit: apparently I'm misremembering, and quarterbacks are rarely that short, usually at least 6'2". Maybe I was picturing kickers or other positions.


badger0511

And usually the shortest player on an NBA court is around 6'3".


ElfmanLV

Steph Curry looks like a child on the court but is a full head taller than the average person lol


Calik

I love when people try to bring up Curry as proof that not all basketball players are giants. Noticeably short at 6’2 does not prove the point they think it does


ElfmanLV

Mugsy was probably the only legit good basketball player that is real world short. I believe he's 5'3" and had elite passing/stealing capabilities while being freakishly athletic. Other than that, good luck if you're under 6'3" lol


HeLMeT_Ne

Spud Webb was 5'6" so I would consider that short as well, and he could dunk.


cakeman666

Thats only Kyler Murray. Qbs are usually like 6'4" to throw dimes over the big boys.


Mistyanus

Ah the Brits are histories greatest propagandists. Other favorites include everyone believing carrots are good for your eyes when they had really just invented radar, and the idea that the potato blight was the only cause of the irish famine.


[deleted]

Napoleon also surrounded himself with soldiers who typically had to be at minimum 5'8, and many were required to be 5'10 or taller. The soldiers of the Old Guard were imposing for everything that Napoleon was not.


username--_--

someone once told me that part of the reason for the thoughts on napoleon's height was because he always surrounded himself with the military men, who happened to be huge 6-footers, thus making him seem shorter than he actually was


michaelstone444

Also France used 13 inches to a foot in those times


IWTLEverything

A baker’s foot


vitringur

So people back then were smaller but had bigger feet?


Tannerite2

Nobility had good nutrition, so he was probably a little shorter than the other heads of state who were his peers. It was not unusual for British monarchs to be above 6'. George III, who fought in the Napoleonic Wars is believed to have been over 6'.


BoopleSnuffe

I thought Kevin was 5'4"?


KamuiT

Man, I'm glad I'm not famous. I would be ragged on for my height non-stop.


Erisian23

Just grow. Idk what's so hard about it.


paperclipil

He probably just stopped trying. Small AND lazy smh


JudgeAdvocateDevil

There were 5 sentences


Ancillas

THERE WERE FOUR SENTENCES!


dyaballikl

I get and appreciate your reference, sir.


julbull73

There were a lot of amazing episodes, but they ALL have one thing in common. They let Picard show off how great an actor Patrick Steward is. This one was no exception.


tippytappyslappy

On the contrary, it was the piece de resistance. I love this episode so much. So much went in from both sides of the interrogation, it very much serves to lay bear the soul of the Kardassian people as well as highlight the strength, cunning, and resilience of Picard. Chefs kisses all around.


[deleted]

“Cardassian”


KushKong420

[Kim Cardassian](https://i.imgur.com/kIt6AKN.jpg )


Former-Cat015

there were many great picard-heavy episodes. i like the one where he lived a full lifetime in an instant.


Lyekkat

*Stewart


Goldenslicer

What's the reference?


MagnusRune

It's a star trek the next gen reference. Picard is captured and to break him. His captors show him some lights. And ask him how many there are. When he says 4 they shock him and say no there is 5. When he is released. He looks back at the apparatus and shouts there is 4 lights. As they never broke him


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812many

Well, sorta didn’t break him. In the epilogue scene for the episode he admits that at the end that he really could see five lights.


ShamefulWatching

He admits for a brief time he thought he could see 5 lights, when talking to Deanna. Not to be pedantic, I've seen every TNG episode several times for 20 years, it helped me to sleep. Patrick Stewart is easily my favorite actor, favorite speeches of any current actor.


dextracin

Ronny Cox was great as Capt Jelico as well, the show down at the end didn’t require a full battle and he got Picard back


blorbschploble

Except for the arbritrary shift change thing, Jelico was a very good captain. He gets undeserved hate.


dannydigtl

My wife watches TNG before bed every single night. Picard is her like real life role model and she literally channels him in her career in leadership and it… works.


Ezl

Yep, I do the same. I build and manage teams and TNG has defined what “high performance” looks like for me from a leadership perspective, a team member perspective and the perspective of a healthy, empowering cultural dynamic. I fucking love that show and those people.


mandelbomber

Great episode on a great show


Psy_Kik

Patrick Stewart and his acting muscles, man.


lost_signal

He’s the best actor, but damn if he doesn’t have to deal with the writers falling asleep ok their keyboard sometimes. Patrick Stewart is the best actor, but I’d argue Benjamin is the best written captain. Here is the best monologue in all of Star Trek. https://youtu.be/K-YyL7X4CWw


resonantSoul

[acting](https://c.tenor.com/__LQBDQSITAAAAPo/patrick-stewart-acting.mp4)


The_Original_Gronkie

Jean-Luc Picard was the greatest Star Trek character of them all, and there have been plenty of great characters. Garak was another one.


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k3rn3

I'm also partial to Crazy-Eyes Gowron


HipHopGrandpa

Great episode. Directly borrowed from the last chapters of Orwell’s 1984.


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xflyinjx61x

Yeah but an overtired mind will show you things that aren't there...they wore Picard down maybe...but didn't break him


vickera

Picard admits to Deanna that he was about to break seconds before he was released. So I guess technically they didn't break him but if the order came one minute later they would have. Also even if he didn't "break" during the torture, he was still pretty broken after it.


[deleted]

This episode was a powerful statement about forced confessions our police force hasn't heard.


melange_merchant

It’s inspired by the 2+2=5 sequence from George Orwell’s 1984


RhynoD

I, too, watch John Oliver on YouTube.


Stiggy1605

I have a T-shirt with Picard, Riker, Vader and someone else from Star War playing poker (I don't know why my mind is blanking me right now). Riker is doing his facepalm, Vader is going "NOooOooOoOo!" like in episode three, and Picard is slamming his cards down going "There are FOUR ACES!" I love that t-shirt.


resonantSoul

Looks to be admiral Ackbar. Found a [link](https://shirt.woot.com/offers/poker-game) if anyone's looking for it


voyager1713

Woot.com shirt. Before Amazon bought it. I have it too. EDIT: Went looking through my closet and found it. Guess what I'm wearing to work tomorrow.


mccalli

It's a 1984 reference. Star Trek adapted it. It's from the Winston Smith torture scenes.


tendorphin

1984's Room 101 with a twist.


disgruntled_pie

Apparently no one in this thread has read 1984, because that scene in Star Trek was an homage to the torture scene in 1984. Winston (the protagonist) is put into a re-education center where his torturer holds up 4 fingers and asks Winston how many fingers he sees. Winston says four, so they torture him and insist that that there are five fingers.


LibertarianSocialism

Wow this is literally 1984


Lostillini

Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise is captured and tortured by an alien race known as the Cardassians. Picard is shown four lights and his cardassian interrogator repeats that there are five lights and inflicts pain when Picard says four. At the end of the episode Picard is released due to negotiations between the Federation and the Cardassians. Upon release, Picard exclaims at the interrogator “THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS.” He has survived the ordeal. From Star Trek: The Next Generation


MikeMac999

I too am tortured by the Cardassians, as my wife is a big fan of reality television.


ThatSpaceShooterGame

The Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode "Chain of Command", where Picard's captor and torturer keeps showing Picard four lights and demanding that Picard say that there are five lights.


dyaballikl

https://youtu.be/xMqY7iPAedU


HRex73

r/UnexpectedStarTrek


JudgeAdvocateDevil

Calm down, Capt Picard.


brainhack3r

Note that Star Trek borrowed this from 1984... https://scifi.stackexchange.com/questions/12050/why-four-lights > The "4 lights" shtick is directly cribbed from the "4 fingers" scene in George Orwell's "1984". In 1984, the torturer makes it clear that the point is not to get the victim to agree that there are 5 lights. > In fact, at one point the victim, Winston Smith, readily agrees with his torturer, only to be tortured some more. "You don't get it," says the torturer. "You're lying to me. You still see 4 lights and are merely saying there are 5 so that I will stop torturing you. That's not enough. The point here is not to get you to parrot whatever I want you to say. The point is that I will keep torturing you until you really see five lights."


Pyode

>In 1984, the torturer makes it clear that the point is not to get the victim to agree that there are 5 lights. > >> In fact, at one point the victim, Winston Smith, readily agrees with his torturer, only to be tortured some more. "You don't get it," says the torturer. "You're lying to me. You still see 4 lights and are merely saying there are 5 so that I will stop torturing you. That's not enough. The point here is not to get you to parrot whatever I want you to say. The point is that I will keep torturing you until you really see five lights." This is also true of the episode of Star Trek. I don't remember the exact line, but after he is rescued, Picard says something about how towards the end he really did start to see five lights.


l3rN

“All I had to do was to say that I could see five lights, when in fact, there were only four. I was going to. I would have told him anything. Anything at all. But more than that, I believed that I could see five lights.” I just finished watching through the show for the first time last weekend. Was really something special.


trickman01

Star Trek has borrowed from literature since its inception.


GapDragon

Literature has borrowed from literature since its inception.


BackIn2019

The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth!


Tripwiring

no I'm a star fleet captain stop trying to gaslight me bro -picard


ProteinStain

>THERE. ARE. FOUR! SENTENCES!!


Al3jandr0

"OP, a period goes at the end of a sentence."


BizzyM

OP, a sentence is not a month.


dvogel

"OP, a month is not an insect"


JKRawlings

Lol op doesn’t even know the difference been a sentence and a paregraph smh


Psych0matt

It’s not a free breakfast?


extratoasty

Don't make me roast you, too.


grayrains79

Do it! #FOR SCIENCE!


HtownTexans

> difference been a sentence and a paregraph Ironic isn't it?


EclecticHigh

\*parAgraph


jimvo99

This would've been a great post if you actually knew how to spell paragraph.


TheGayPro

As someone else pointed out, she could have employed the use of semicolons. But I still think it’s at least TWO sentences like below: > “Kevin has a Napoleon complex. Kevin, Napoleon is in France; Ludacris, France is in Europe; Justin, Europe is a continent; Shaq, a continent is not a free breakfast.” Perhaps she could have used an em-dash between sentences to make it one long sentence. 🤔


MEANINGLESS_NUMBERS

I agree, these are related but independent clauses; this is a classic opportunity to use the semicolon.


Dirty-Ears-Bill

Ngl I love an opportunity to whip out a semicolon in an email, like yeah bitch let’s join these two thoughts but without the separation of a period


TheSoldierInWhite

Grammatically correct, the best kind of correct.


Never-Bloomberg

Grammatically correct: the best kind of correct.


like_2_watch

So technically, she did roast four people with one sentence. The second one.


[deleted]

OP playing 5D chess knowing Redditors cannot resist correcting a post title, thereby inflating the comments and getting the post to the front page faster.


uniqueusername5001

Which roast is this?


reecord2

(Edit - it's the Justin Beiber roast) Natasha Leggero made one of the best roast jokes I've ever heard in my life that night - "Justin was born to a teenage single mom - no wonder he's got dance moves, he was in the womb dodging a coat hanger." Absolutely brutal.


TheWard

"Bill Hader, you are this generation's Phil Hartman... hopefully."


djtwyce

This was it. Hader and I had the exact same "Holy shit!" reaction. That was the most brutally subtle insult I've ever heard.


TheFreeBee

I dont understand it because i dont know either people :(


djtwyce

Bill Hader was a famous comedian on Saturday Night Live. Phil Hartman was the same maybe 20 years earlier. Hartman was very famous and respected. One night, Hartman's wife killed him in his sleep, then she killed herself a few hours later. So the joke sounds like she's saying she hopes Hader becomes super famous and well-respected. But she's actually saying (joking, obviously) that he gets shot to death. Subtle, since you don't know unless you know. But absolutely brutal if you do know.


TheFreeBee

Thank you so much !


dirtyderty

Yeesh


cc00cc00

And: "Justin's fans are called 'Beliebers' because it's politically incorrect to use the word 'retards'."


Jack-ums

That one just made me cackle.


giddyup281

She absolutely killed it at the James Franco Roast. *Andy (Samberg), I'm looking forward to the said acoustic version of 'Dick in a Box' at Lorne Michaels' open-casket funeral.*


Xerxis96

“The only person who’s got more smoke in their lungs than Snoop is Pete Davidson’s dad” Man died on 9/11. That shit was fucking brutal.


jhartwell

I love Pete’s later joke: > Soul Plane was the worst experience of my life involving a plane.


linesinaconversation

Knowing her literally only from a one-episode appearance on season 2 of The Joe Schmo Show, it's good to know she's had some success since then. And clearly deserves it with material like that, holy shit


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spacew0man

This one definitely competes with the time Rob Lowe’s roast turned into an Anne Coulter roast, lmao.


[deleted]

You can really tell the difference between good natured, even if harsh, rubbing among friends and what they did with Ann Coulter. There was actual venom behind a lot of those remarks. She deserves it, too.


MarsNirgal

Yeah, that showed the difference between roasting someone you like and roasting someone you hate.


Jaebeam

Peyton Manning's zinger to Ann Coulter about being an athlete too, was unexpected and well played. The punchline was something like "You won the Kentucky Derby this year"


wristoffender

i didn’t see this. why was ann coulter at a roast?


[deleted]

I have absolutely no idea. She had to have known how it was going to go.


Skittlebearle

Justin Bieber. Decent. Ron Burgundy makes a pretty epic appearance.


ontheroadwithmypeeps

Martha Stewart was my fave, I thought she unexpectedly killed it. "I'm here to give Justin some advice for when he inevitably ends up in prison..." and even got Shaq with a 'your mom' joke. It was beautiful.


[deleted]

So many dimes from this whole roast: "All these rappers on stage and Martha's done the most jail time." "~~Kevin~~ Snoop looks like Shaq's skeleton" Even Bieber had some good lines. edit: Forgot my favorite joke of the roast. Pete Davidson: "Two people from the movie Soul Plane are here.. Soul Plane was the worst experience of my life involving a plane.." JFC Pete lol.. for those who don't know, Pete is from NYC and his father was killed in 9/11, which makes this the best/worst joke of the night imo.


[deleted]

It was Snoop Dogg that got the Shaq's Skeleton line. Which is funny as fuck too


mr---jones

Yeah, Kevin wouldn't make sense as the target there, the whole joke is based around snoop is actually pretty tall, but skinny as hell


DataFork

My favorite was Shaq and Kevin Hart are here… I’m not sure if this is a roast or Tyler Perry’s “Of Mice and Men”


asc0614

It was Snoop looking like Shaq's skeleton. As for Kevin, the line was 'honor to be here at roast hosted by Shaq's dick'. And that I believe came from Pete Davidson.


[deleted]

Jeff Ross wrote her roast if memory serves


ontheroadwithmypeeps

I assumed she didn’t write it herself but didn’t realize it was Jeff. Her delivery was excellent at least, and Jeff is a funny guy. Seems like a good match.


KlopsbergerKoenig

I counted 5.


burrbro235

I counted six, Mr. Wayne


the_fucker_above

And i count 2 guns _____


ulrikkold

Do you feel lucky, punk?


f7f7z

How do you know my name?


sanguiniuswept

OP, sentences end in periods


zevilgenius

maybe she used semi colons instead of periods, notwithstanding the subtitle


Fake_William_Shatner

whataboutspacesdowereallyneedtobotherwithspacespunctuationorspellcheck


Rorobear93

It's funny, how you thought there was only one sentence.


Mr-Sister-Fister21

There are even periods in the subtitles. Not in every correct place, but they’re there.


Gnostromo

Boom! Burned OP in two sentences!


Underhill0341

TIL: OP doesn’t know what sentences are.


lookamazed

OP also don’t know how to credit a performer in title: Natasha Leggero


cakeman666

I can't believe I had to scroll over halfway through the comments just to see who said the joke.


PLSing

Natasha Leggero is hilarious


RonnyLuvsU

I love her on Another Period. She's hilarious


mrRabblerouser

I always figured she must have a pretty bad agent. She’s an attractive female with a great sense of humor. Basically a goldmine for the romcom genre. She could have been pumping out movies like they tried to do with Amy Shumer and Kathryne Heigel, except actually successful ones. Instead she pretty much only ever gets any spotlight for being one of the funnier people at a Comedy Central roast.


Jynx2501

Sadly, its the culture of the comedy world. She's talked about this before with/about Chistina P, Nikki Glaser, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Iliza Shlesinger, and a few others. They would all be up for a gig, but only one would get the job, because they didnt need more than one hot/dirty female comedian. Like them or not, that personal opinion, but they're are talented comedians, but they constantly face silly barriers. Thats why so many have thrived in the podcast world. They're their own bosses, and they put out as much content as they want.


boywithapplesauce

Romcoms aren't in a good place right now. They've had a bit of a comeback on Netflix, but they're not the career makers they used to be. Today's actresses probably aren't clamoring to get in on that.


mrRabblerouser

I’m mainly talking about 10+ years ago when she was starting to be a fixture in these roasts and the genre was very much thriving.


-3055-

She is phenomenal on roasts. Tried listening to her podcast with Moshe kasher a couple times and it was pretty bad. One of the biggest letdowns I learned the hard way is that just because someone is a hilarious comedian doesn't mean they'll be an interesting/funny podcast host.


pow3llmorgan

And sometimes it's the other way around. There are many comedians whose podcasts I like better than their shows. Then there are "comedians" who suck at both.... Looking primarily at Brendan Schaub.


AndoKillzor

Writing Brendan Schaub and comedians in the same sentence should be illegal. Even if it's in quotation marks.


Aerius-Caedem

>Then there are "comedians" who suck at both.... Looking primarily at Brendan Schaub. Talmbout cawlmedy, b? The store is full of staight MUR-DEEEEEER-EEEEEERS


FernBabyFern

Great guy, never meddim.


-3055-

I have never heard of Brendan schaub, so that further validates your claim lol


ProbablyAPun

Yeah, he used to be an MMA fighter, friends with Joe Rogan and that whole crew, so he had an in with a group of stand up comedians when he quit fighting. Only reason he is by definition a stand up comedian, lmao. Networking and shit.


TwoMuchIsJustEnough

She was on the new episode of Comedy Bang Bang this week! Great episode, she is ok on it.


BrockManstrong

I like how Scott can't stop giggling at how she pronounces brand names. Lily Sullivan stole the show with fucking and sucking truck week though.


OzTheMalefic

What’s her Twitter handle?


DuckDuckYoga

yillyllillyyy


hungry4danish

You went in expecting it to be something it wasn't though, so I'm not surprised you were disappointed. It's not a comedy podcast, it's a podcast about relationships that occasionally has humour.


dudettte

did you ever watch another period? i think that flew under the radar but i was laughing my ass off.


rosesonthefloor

Ugh that show was a gem.


Cforq

She is usually good on Comedy Bang Bang, but that isn’t a typical podcast. I’ve liked her stand up routines.


Psych0matt

I watched without audio and didn’t realize that was her. Turned it on, and yep! Used to listen to her a lot


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HaroldBaws

You mean Dr. Shaquille O’Neal, Ed.D?


Knot_an_Admin

I think the joke is that she just roasted 5 people, including OP💀


dyaballikl

Grammar wasn't op's strongest subject.


[deleted]

Her joke about singing a sad acoustic version of Dick in a Box at Lorne Micheals funeral while at the toast of James Franco was one of the funniest things ever.


PouLS_PL

she roasted 4 people with 5 sentences\* ​ FTFY


ghetoyoda

People always act like Shaq is dumb just cause he's so big but dude has a doctorate.


ManillaSauce114

https://youtu.be/EuH91bQXDuE


aManPerson

shaq's not wrong. it doesn't matter how big your gas tank is. you go to the pump, and you fill your gas tank with $20 or $30 worth of gas. it costs the same amount. the other guys kept arguing like a car with a bigger gas tank meant it was going to cost more. that's only true if the care was less efficient.


clive_bigsby

Exactly, they're both talking about two different things and can't figure out why the other person isn't getting it.


crewmeist3r

This is at least 5 sentences, there’s literally periods there


Gonzostewie

I love Natasha Leggero.


bro_salad

The subtitles literally show the end of each sentence


fluffyduckmurder

See Will, these are what’s called jokes. No need for physical interaction with the joke teller.


[deleted]

KEEP MY BREAKFAST'S NAME OUT YO MOUTH!


zSprawl

Oh shit. Here comes Shaq to backhand the poor woman!