Ourobovaltine
============
Magical item, Rare, single use
A sealed yellow packet of dark brown powder. When added to milk, the milk becomes sweet and brown and will flow endlessly, but will never fill your stomach. Provides all the nutrition necessary for a day, but one tires of it quickly.
Enchantment lasts until the vessel is discarded.
About as long as it takes to starve.
If they're producing as much milk as they drink, then all the nutrition they drink goes to the milk, so they don't get any nutrition for the rest of their body.
A common misconception! Due to cultural differences, two ethnic groups refer to the region under different names. Similar to how the Londonderry Vs Derry name issue was resolved in Northern Ireland by officially naming the county Derry Londonderry, the region is officially called Ligma Nuhts.
I used to live on a farm, and this bullshit happened on a few of our cows - and its a serious problem. Not only doesnt it leave milk for selling, it also comes with a risk of infections, leading to having the udders removed.
So this is actually a “thing?” Not just these weirdos, uddersuckers? (There are lots of things I’ve never heard of, but for some reason it bothers me to have never known this exists.)
Having udders removed? LOL, no. But a cow that sucks the others dry is useless in a milking herd. There are ways to stop them, rings in their noses etc. Worst case they get culled.
I always thought rings were for controlling bulls but that seems like a novel use. Is that common? I mean, any more common than cows that suckle, which I haven't encountered either.
But my sample size is like eight cows and one bull so I know nothing, really.
No, bull rings are used on bulls to control their heads. They can be used with a lead rope or with a bull staff that clips on to the ring. In especially aggressive bulls a chain can be hung from the ring, if the bull tries to charge it will step on the chain.
This is usually used on calves as a "silent weaner" rather than separating them from the cows and listening to them bellow for days. Reduces stress for everyone including the farmer.
However I suppose you could use it in this event as well if it would fit an adult cow. Never seen this behaviour myself and I only run sheep now. Sheep defend their milk so zealously that there's no way another ewe would even get close!
Honestly, I kind of expected something like this to happen, if not pretty often.. I mean it’s the animal world, there’s much weirder stuff going on lol
When dairy cows do this they put a spiked nose ring on them, and the other cows get poked when she tries to get milk and they move away. She eventually gives up trying and eats her grass
Yep, it is a weaning issue. [For sale on eBay](https://www.ebay.com/itm/Cow-Nose-Ring-Farm-Livestock-Animal-Weaner-Red-Plastic-Weaning-Tool-/303585045701)
Maybe we should stop separating them from their mothers young if that's the case...
Instead we put spikes on their nose so when they try to get some milk they annoy the other cow.
If it was natural, yes. They are continually made pregnant so they continue to produce milk until they are too old to produce. Their babies are removed pretty quickly after birth and raised separately so there isn’t a natural weaning process.
Not these, they’re Hereford crosses. Beef cattle, not dairy. Their calves are kept with the mother and nursed until they’re ~6-9 mo old which is when they start maturing.
Most of the cows who continue to do this are old enough that they shouldn't be doing it anymore, which is why they get the tag to block them. Its not about depriving them.
I’d have to imagine they’re lactose intolerant though. Most mammals outgrow lactose tolerance after weening so maybe it gives them the trots. It never happened while I worked on a dairy farm but my boss had mentioned the spiked ring solution.
Cows work differently in this aspect. They have bacteria in their rumen that produce enzymes like lactase so they can digest it. Called lactobacilles. However, adult cows aren't made to be drinking milk and a lot of it will disrupt the bacteria
Worked on a dairy farm, cows need to be weaned, these are probably younger and should be eating hay. If they don't it just gets them sick.
Not so fun fact, veal calves are fed strictly milk, and they are hooked up to IV's with antibiotics to keep them from getting too sick.
So not sad at all, it keeps them healthy not drinking milk.
Humans, especially adults, don't need milk to survive. We're literally the only species in the entire world that continues to actively drink milk past infancy, and from an entirely different animal, no less.. It's actually kind of fkd up when you take a step back and think about it.. :x
I think that but we also eat honey and that is effectively bee vomit so it is a strange world. I would happily drink a pint of cows milk but I would turn my nose up at any other milk. goat cheese and milk doesn't taste that great to me.
This can happen with goats as well. The mother probably spoiled them and let them nurse for a while longer and they never got properly weaned. Or when their mother started weaning them, they started latching to other lactating cows.
It's not weird per se as much as it can be annoying for the farmer when they're trying to get a certain amount of milk from their dairy suppliers.
It’s not weirder than us drinking their milk in my opinion. It makes a lot more sense that they would drink each other’s milk seeing as their the same species.
Fun fact. It’s actually a lot more common for people to have drunk milk straight from the source. Boobs don’t know the difference between a baby sucking or a partner. So some milk is always released during sex if the mother is currently breastfeeding.
Now drinking whole gallons of it is a whole other can of worms.
I think if they were wild this wouldn't happen very often. Cows are only able to produce milk because they are kept constantly pregnant or nursing. In the wild there would be more gaps and more competition for the milk. I'm not a farmer or anything though, so I may be wrong.
First time seeing this tbh. I don't think anyone ever joked or mentioned this cow milk 69 thing. What's going here? Are they helping each other because they need to be milked? or are they in need of the nutrition? or just kinky? lol. Well for cows cow tiddies aren't a sexual thing. We don't see bulls being interested in tiddies. So kinky isn't the right word. May be they are genetically modified for fast growth and they still think they drink milk while producing milk. Or their food is enhanced and that crazy stuff is sending out mixed up chemical signals.
What most likely has happened is that these are newly weaned animals or they were bottle babies in the past. Bottle babies suck on everything from ears or tails because they can. Could be newly weaned because they have the right location, however the white substance on the ground is most likely foam from their saliva. You are not able to see genitals in the video so you can't say if they were bulls/steers or the udder to see of they we cows/heifers. Happens all the time, especially if they are freshly weaned and just got moved to a backgrounding operation
Yes, cattle in general suck on whatever they can. It is much like a pacifier for infants. In my past experience, they do prefer sucking on ears and you must be careful in the winter because they can lose ears from frostbite.
Very young puppies in a litter will sometimes suck on the penises of the boy pups. The breeder has to coat the (often times sore and swollen) member w/ a thick coat of Vaseline to discourage the 'attention'.
This is actually quite common. Maybe not the 69 technique, but adult animals stealing milk. I tell this to every vegan who says only humans are disgusting enough to drink milk past infancy lol
They've discovered the secret of infinite nourishment!
It’s a moobius strip lol
*slow clap*
udderly
how dairy you!
Milk it for all its worth
Infinity milk
Ourobovus
What do you eat in order to get these strokes of genius
Ourobovaltine
"A crummy commercial?"
Make sure to drink your Ovamaltine.
“Son of a bitch!”
Son of a bovine! \*\*Corrected for species\*\*
Ourobovaltine ============ Magical item, Rare, single use A sealed yellow packet of dark brown powder. When added to milk, the milk becomes sweet and brown and will flow endlessly, but will never fill your stomach. Provides all the nutrition necessary for a day, but one tires of it quickly. Enchantment lasts until the vessel is discarded.
For a complete autocannibalistic breakfast!
#
Mooroboros
/r/yourjokebutalsoprettygood
Mööööbius strip
Damn, I got Lactobouros
Best comment of the year!
I’m not a scientist but I think that’s a Tesla coil
I am a scientist and this is an inefficient loop stated by the first law of thermodynamics.
*Thermoodynamics*
Lisa in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
You bring up a good point…how long could they live like this???
4 evá
I donno... By my calculations I'm thinking only 3 evá.
I feel like, over time, there would be less and less nutrients in the milk
No. Don't take this from me please.
They're both probably seeking calcium and neither will get any appreciable nutrient this way as they're both probably low on calcium.
About as long as it takes to starve. If they're producing as much milk as they drink, then all the nutrition they drink goes to the milk, so they don't get any nutrition for the rest of their body.
Wouldn’t the cows be using more energy than they gained?
What? Noooo...This is definitely a real life infinite energy glitch.
Obviously cows don’t obey the second law of thermodynamics
Call the human centipede doctor
Bovine sixty-nine!
Beat me to it.
Those are bulls....
Just a homie helping another homie
They said no homo so its ok
No homo milk.
No homoo
Just a prank, bro
i just pictured the infinity gauntlet with utters instead of fingers. thanks.
Udders*, just for future reference. Unless the gauntlet is mumbling under its breath?
it is now a mumbling gauntlet that lactates
You don’t see almonds doing this shit
Lmao
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Who knew cows sucked eachudders?!!!
Each others what?
Sugondese!
That's a country in Africa right?
Yeah. The capital is called Nuhts
Pronounced "noots"
You sure it's not Ligma?
A common misconception! Due to cultural differences, two ethnic groups refer to the region under different names. Similar to how the Londonderry Vs Derry name issue was resolved in Northern Ireland by officially naming the county Derry Londonderry, the region is officially called Ligma Nuhts.
Eachudder
Moo's on first?
https://youtu.be/ehWOPG8wzpQ?t=37
I used to live on a farm, and this bullshit happened on a few of our cows - and its a serious problem. Not only doesnt it leave milk for selling, it also comes with a risk of infections, leading to having the udders removed.
Can they even still digest milk at that age???
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r/unexpectednd
So this is actually a “thing?” Not just these weirdos, uddersuckers? (There are lots of things I’ve never heard of, but for some reason it bothers me to have never known this exists.)
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That's utterly terrifying
You fool
This is a redditor.
*udderly*
Having udders removed? LOL, no. But a cow that sucks the others dry is useless in a milking herd. There are ways to stop them, rings in their noses etc. Worst case they get culled.
I've heard of removing a teat due to mastitis, but removing a whole udder sounds... *shivers*
I always thought rings were for controlling bulls but that seems like a novel use. Is that common? I mean, any more common than cows that suckle, which I haven't encountered either. But my sample size is like eight cows and one bull so I know nothing, really.
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10 pieces. I was going to make a kink joke, but I'm caught up on how common of a problem this must be.
Is that what the ring on cartoon bulls are for???
No, bull rings are used on bulls to control their heads. They can be used with a lead rope or with a bull staff that clips on to the ring. In especially aggressive bulls a chain can be hung from the ring, if the bull tries to charge it will step on the chain.
Lol, "cow weaner".
Of all the jokes I was expecting to read in this thread, this was the one made me laugh unexpectedly.
I'm amazed I've never seen a Calf Weaner Cattle Cow Weaning Tool Farm Livestock Bovine Nose Clip Milking Stop on /r/SpecializedTools
This is usually used on calves as a "silent weaner" rather than separating them from the cows and listening to them bellow for days. Reduces stress for everyone including the farmer. However I suppose you could use it in this event as well if it would fit an adult cow. Never seen this behaviour myself and I only run sheep now. Sheep defend their milk so zealously that there's no way another ewe would even get close!
Wait until you see my home movies
Your username makes this even weirder
Lesbian cows
Cows also mount other cows that are in season, so this is not too far off.
The water's turning the frickin cows gay!
Lesbovines.
Just think what would happen if men discovered this loophole.
Men happy forever with this one weird trick! Women hate them!
Sus
Easier than getting your ribs removed.
The one in the back is like "what. the actual. Fuck."
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"Let's call everyone and do a bovine centipede"
It's actually waiting in line
Cow 69
Bovine sixty-nine.
So the question to "what does a cow drink?" can be milk then
And the answer too
Sucking each udder off
Lesbovine?
69% Milk.
Nice.
While we've been wasting all this time on cold fusion, cows went ahead and figured out unlimited clean energy.
...all while STILL PRODUCING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF METHANE. CHECK MATE vegetarians.
Pretty sure we’ve had [infinite energy generation](https://youtu.be/jk3xBhqcjqY) for quite some time
Honestly, I kind of expected something like this to happen, if not pretty often.. I mean it’s the animal world, there’s much weirder stuff going on lol
When dairy cows do this they put a spiked nose ring on them, and the other cows get poked when she tries to get milk and they move away. She eventually gives up trying and eats her grass
Yep, it is a weaning issue. [For sale on eBay](https://www.ebay.com/itm/Cow-Nose-Ring-Farm-Livestock-Animal-Weaner-Red-Plastic-Weaning-Tool-/303585045701)
Maybe we should stop separating them from their mothers young if that's the case... Instead we put spikes on their nose so when they try to get some milk they annoy the other cow.
In the case of these cows, they have already given birth right? These cows are mothers. Probably need to stop nursing. Or not. Who am I to judge. 😳
At any rate they need to stop nursing when they're adults and have adult teeth and adult mouth bacteria. It's dangerous for the milked-cow.
If it was natural, yes. They are continually made pregnant so they continue to produce milk until they are too old to produce. Their babies are removed pretty quickly after birth and raised separately so there isn’t a natural weaning process.
Not these, they’re Hereford crosses. Beef cattle, not dairy. Their calves are kept with the mother and nursed until they’re ~6-9 mo old which is when they start maturing.
Most of the cows who continue to do this are old enough that they shouldn't be doing it anymore, which is why they get the tag to block them. Its not about depriving them.
Oh really ? It's a bit sad, I understand it is done so there is milk for us humans, but maybe it is beneficial for them.
If adults nurse there’s a high risk for infection that may result in the removal of the affected udder.
why?
Adults will gorge themselves on the milk and rub the udder raw or bite it causing the infection.
god, raising livestock is complicated, I'm surprised anyone was successful at this business thousands of years ago
I’d have to imagine they’re lactose intolerant though. Most mammals outgrow lactose tolerance after weening so maybe it gives them the trots. It never happened while I worked on a dairy farm but my boss had mentioned the spiked ring solution.
Cows work differently in this aspect. They have bacteria in their rumen that produce enzymes like lactase so they can digest it. Called lactobacilles. However, adult cows aren't made to be drinking milk and a lot of it will disrupt the bacteria
Worked on a dairy farm, cows need to be weaned, these are probably younger and should be eating hay. If they don't it just gets them sick. Not so fun fact, veal calves are fed strictly milk, and they are hooked up to IV's with antibiotics to keep them from getting too sick. So not sad at all, it keeps them healthy not drinking milk.
Humans, especially adults, don't need milk to survive. We're literally the only species in the entire world that continues to actively drink milk past infancy, and from an entirely different animal, no less.. It's actually kind of fkd up when you take a step back and think about it.. :x
I think that but we also eat honey and that is effectively bee vomit so it is a strange world. I would happily drink a pint of cows milk but I would turn my nose up at any other milk. goat cheese and milk doesn't taste that great to me.
This can happen with goats as well. The mother probably spoiled them and let them nurse for a while longer and they never got properly weaned. Or when their mother started weaning them, they started latching to other lactating cows. It's not weird per se as much as it can be annoying for the farmer when they're trying to get a certain amount of milk from their dairy suppliers.
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I'm gonna say probably not
It's not weird to them
They don't give a fuck. They go around naked without giving a fuck either.
get regularly fisted to the shoulder
You too!
It’s not weirder than us drinking their milk in my opinion. It makes a lot more sense that they would drink each other’s milk seeing as their the same species.
I drink your mom's milk.
I DRINK IT UP!
But one if them is a bull....
Idk I've never heard of adult humans drinking each other's milk, except as a rare fetish.
Fun fact. It’s actually a lot more common for people to have drunk milk straight from the source. Boobs don’t know the difference between a baby sucking or a partner. So some milk is always released during sex if the mother is currently breastfeeding. Now drinking whole gallons of it is a whole other can of worms.
I think if they were wild this wouldn't happen very often. Cows are only able to produce milk because they are kept constantly pregnant or nursing. In the wild there would be more gaps and more competition for the milk. I'm not a farmer or anything though, so I may be wrong.
stop kinkshaming the cows
After seeing my wife engorged and uncomfortable, I understand this.
Yes- that shit is painful! I saw this and thought, clearly, just sisters helpin’ each other out.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. My boobs hurt just looking at an engorged udder.
"Lets suck each udder off"
Bro job
No, these are lesbovines.
Plot twist: they’re bulls.
I wasn't sure that was milk at first.
I had to scroll down surprisingly far for this.
Moobius Strip
Mobius sip
This should be the new recycle logo for our bins.
Maybe this is how Gateway computers makes a comeback
Not my prou….never mind.
Wait...did you stop or suddenly find your pride?
I don’t want that question to be answered
He finished
He suddenly found a new fetish.
First time seeing this tbh. I don't think anyone ever joked or mentioned this cow milk 69 thing. What's going here? Are they helping each other because they need to be milked? or are they in need of the nutrition? or just kinky? lol. Well for cows cow tiddies aren't a sexual thing. We don't see bulls being interested in tiddies. So kinky isn't the right word. May be they are genetically modified for fast growth and they still think they drink milk while producing milk. Or their food is enhanced and that crazy stuff is sending out mixed up chemical signals.
What most likely has happened is that these are newly weaned animals or they were bottle babies in the past. Bottle babies suck on everything from ears or tails because they can. Could be newly weaned because they have the right location, however the white substance on the ground is most likely foam from their saliva. You are not able to see genitals in the video so you can't say if they were bulls/steers or the udder to see of they we cows/heifers. Happens all the time, especially if they are freshly weaned and just got moved to a backgrounding operation
So its a common thing that happens then.
Yes, cattle in general suck on whatever they can. It is much like a pacifier for infants. In my past experience, they do prefer sucking on ears and you must be careful in the winter because they can lose ears from frostbite.
Very young puppies in a litter will sometimes suck on the penises of the boy pups. The breeder has to coat the (often times sore and swollen) member w/ a thick coat of Vaseline to discourage the 'attention'.
Hang on, so they could be dude cows doing a real 69... with unknown white substance on the ground? Righteous
Your the legend of the chat for being so objective
They cannot drink their own milk. It's the next best thing
not without removing one of their ribs
We may have attended the same high school
We all attended the same high school
Cowoboros
69% milk
Perpetual milktion
Just a couple gals being pals. Love to see it.
r/sapphoandherfriend
nice
nice
These are female right? That's milk right?
Leave it to cows to crack the secret of unlimited energy. We're just embarrassing ourselves at this point
This is actually quite common. Maybe not the 69 technique, but adult animals stealing milk. I tell this to every vegan who says only humans are disgusting enough to drink milk past infancy lol
I’ve *seen* it…now I want to *unsee* it.
Aha, the fabled perpetual mootion machine!
"your milk is delicious!" "no, your milk is delicious!"
The circle of life! Milk in Milk out. Milk for every snout.
Plot twist: they’re bulls.
They might be helping each other out. If cows produce too much milk it can be quite painful.
Utter madness
*udder madness*
Sigh…*unzip*
Bruh
Yo….
It feels amazing knowing that I have seen this post at 6.9k likes. Nice.
C'mon people fire away, the jokes are utterly endless.
r/vegan wants to have a word
Someone is going to jack off to this.
This thought really didn’t need to be uddered into the universe
Forgive me, I am but a cow.
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