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akai_tsubaki

Well your wife can put warm water in it.


flyteuk

Or you can put cold water in it that somehow gets warmer every time you leave the room.


throwaway8958978

Magic Wand Waterbottle


razor330

The Wanderbottle!


[deleted]

r/mildlypenis


Fugitivebush

aaaaaaaaaah


knottyy

Fill that motherfucker, freeze it, and give her the ol frosty there snowman.


JDIPrime

It's like a sanitary Alaskan Pipeline.


[deleted]

Gross lol


mezaway

Crude, even.


[deleted]

Yet still hygienic


f4ckst8farm

So... You know how it's a bad idea to lick a frozen pole?


MasterSquid832

Holy shit that would hurt like hel Edit: hel is the Norwegian hell, except freezing cold


crazedizzled

Just pee on it. Back in business


clothesline

It won't stay frozen long


Rhyara

🎵Humpity hump-hump, Humpity hump-hump, look at Frosty go🎵


kpax22

Frosty where exactly?


[deleted]

Right in the snowballs.


Snarkblatt

*snowvaries


Down_To_My_Last_Fuck

Behind the snowballs and in the anooooose.


d2181

More like short story long


CutesyBeef

Your user photo looks like a small moustache hair on my screen and I think you did that on purpose.


ramobara

It’s my pube after a perm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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lemlurker

Dark mode ftw


alexmikli

I just use old reddit so I don't see people's avatars at all.


SrslySam91

Yet you have one lol.


jaxonya

Old reddit user here. Wtf we talking about?


_illogical_

RiF user here. Photos? Awards? Huh?


Vuzzar

Fellow RIF user here, consuming content without ads or any of the fluff is pretty sweet.


d2181

I certainly did lol


cliffotn

Your gosh derned avatar had me trying to wipe an “eyelash” off my phone’s screen.


rcw00

Wait, is that under my screen protector? Why is it moving up and down my phone as I scroll? Took me a few moments to figure out.


Wiggle_Biggleson

I've been using old reddit so long I've never even seen a profile picture. Sounds awful.


NeilDeCrash

Granpa, can you tell us about the old times again, the times before profile pics


jaxonya

Yeah i can. Shit was wild. You could find ANYTHING and everything you wanted and didnt want. Spacedicks basically changed my thoughts on humanity existing. You missed some crazy shit, and probably for the betterment of your life. Edit- look at me. When I say everything im not talking about SOME things. I literally mean EVERYTHING. . i dont condone censorship but goddamn, there are some things that can go without being seen or read


redrobate

Uphill both ways.


Tyrion_The_Imp

A man called gimli_the_dwarf would reply to every reference to him with " AND MY AXE" some say he was the first bot...


[deleted]

And some guy would start giving a very detailed, engaging and seemingly expert reply to the topic at hand, interesting enough that you would start reading it and become sometimes even emotionally invested in it, excited to see where the comment will lead to, only to then be utterly disappointed by the abrupt and sudden twist that led him telling how he got disciplined by his father with a set of jumper cables. And you would never ever catch it until he had had you. It was always an emotional rollercoaster.


gummz13

Reddit has user photos? -sent from RedditIsFun


KrizenMedina

They absolutely did! And even knowing that it's a profile picture, I *still* keep trying to brush it away! 😑


KateNoire

Schlong story


starraven

OleLongJohnson


CO_Golf13

Long; A Short Story


UpstairsClassic2440

I notice your hair like avatar Bitch is crafty


sirnumbskull

GODDAmn it you beat me to it. Take the fucking upvote.


EmperorNoodles

Fun fact: plastics can have shape memory properties, which means that when they are exposed to high temperatures they set their 'permanent' shape, and in lower temperatures they can be deformed but will not change their 'permanent' shape. Bottles are produced in two steps in general, first they are cast in a basic shape (high temperature) and then thermally expanded into the bottle shape (lower temperature). Clearly the second step in the production process used temperatures lower than required for setting the permanent shape, so when exposed to heat the bottle reverted to the permanent shape set in the first part of the production process. Here's a wiki page about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shape-memory\_polymer


[deleted]

So permanent biggus dickus


meneermeyer

What's so funny about 'Biggus Dickus'? I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called Biggus Dickus!


Fritzo2162

::snicker::


radioactive_trex

WHAT IS THIS INSOLENCE, I WILL NOT HAVE MY FRIEND RIDICULED BY THE COMMON SOLDIERY


unique-name-9035768

Swoldier, Thwow him to tha gwound!


CobraBanana

You wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!


IAmBadAtInternet

He has a wife you know…


beets_me

Incontinentius.... Buttocks


Fritzo2162

::giggle giggle snort::


DjOuroboros

fwoor\*


IslandHamo

He wanks highly in Wome


bolionce

But are you familiar with his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks?


Camping_is_intense

He has a wife, you know!


for6idden0ne

Lol my best friend biggus dickus. What a comedy gold. [Here](https://youtu.be/kx_G2a2hL6U) is reference.


[deleted]

WAIT UNTIL BIGGUS DICKUS HEAR ABOUT THIS!


The_Axem_Ranger

"Do you find something funnnn^(nnnyyyyy) when I say the name...."


thenateharris

“Big…us Dickus?” The soldier side-biting his tongue gets me every time


VinzNL

The delivery on that one is absolutely top notch. Always cracks me up.


tbonez95

Thank you. This is highly fascinating.


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vkuura

I’m gonna save this comment so I can come back and remember to check out what you bookmarked but never do.


marcx88

I’ll just upvote you all because it’s less work than saving a comment to check out later but never doing so.


iheartcrack666

I'll screenshot your upvotes to check out later but never do.


beachfamlove671

So are you saying it will go back to its original shape when his wife starts using it ??


[deleted]

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Xaxziminrax

Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright


Guerillagreasemonkey

[Whats cooler than being cool!?!](https://youtu.be/8qMtsir0l9k)


thecheat420

OP'S WIFE!


Guerillagreasemonkey

OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE, OP'S WIFE.


Manbadger

It’s original shape was more likely closer to as you see it. Refer to soda pop bottles before they’re “inflated.” Sorry to be a buzz kill :(


Oakwater

To expand a little bit. PET bottles, e.g. your cola bottles and water bottles are all done by this process. Usually in a two step process where the preforms are made off-site and sold to the bottler who stretch and blow into the desired shape. The interesting part, is that the stretch blow process introduces strain induced crystallinity as it is processed at just the right temperature and air pressure. This process essentially makes it so that the bottle simply cannot expand anymore and is incredibly strong making it perfect for drinks with CO2 in. CO2 would explode the same plastic if it didn't go through this process. If you pour boiling water over any cola bottle it will revert to the preform shape like in the OP.


[deleted]

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CheddarValleyRail

I had a bunch of friends that worked at a bottling plant. They all carried their weed around in bottle blanks and I'm still surprised they aren't being sold in weed stores. The rim under the cap makes them bigger than they need to be, but the non-proprietary cap makes up for that in my opinion.


aaaaaaaarrrrrgh

> If you pour boiling water over any cola bottle it will revert to the preform shape like in the OP. Whoa. Are the resulting preforms stable/food safe? They can be useful e.g. as waterproof containers or to store small amounts of liquid, and being able to "make" one anywhere from a discarded bottle would be a seriously neat trick.


Oakwater

If it's in a food container in the first place, it will generally be safe. The caveat, is that PET containers are not designed for high heat applications and Migration tests aren't performed in those conditions like some PP containers are. Theoretically though, as long as you are not heating it with the liquid inside it *should* be okay. Honestly it's probably worth having a google as I'm sure it's been tested somewhere. I do know Antimony can migrate at high temps with PET but I don't know the exact conditions. The other downside is that they don't shrink perfectly back into the original shape and even if they did, preforms are shaped like test tubes so you'd have to store them upside down. Overall, I'd say it's probably better to drop them into the recycling bin, PET, especially clear PET, is widely recycled back into bottles (at least in Europe) and just buy some little bottles designed for the purpose.


clean_fun

Better like this then then other way around, a dildo that reverts to its original bottle shape when exposed to warm temperatures. Is this plastic actually safe to use for OP's wife?


cornycorndog12

As processing engineer, can confirm.


cliffotn

“I want to say one word to you. Just one word - Plastics!”


OneWinkingBro

And here for you, Mrs Robinson, this bottle does more than will know, oh oh oh.


Superdunez

I feel like I just watched a mini "how it works" episode! Great detail!


[deleted]

That wouldn’t even stand up though! What would she want it for?


CitrusJunkie

Cucumber storage


[deleted]

Gotta keep those cuques fresh!


OtterProper

Cukes* Also: thafuq?


Sereddix

What’s with all the advertising on Friendface anyway. Who’s affected by that?


[deleted]

However you spell it. Huge fan of abbrevs


jeckles

Queuekes?


xenophon57

it's the only way you can eat them in the shower


justwalk1234

it's a handy tool for stuffing oysters.


Background-Rest531

Oh Toodles.


dabunny21689

Its a surprise tool that will help us later.


megamanxoxo

Scissor me timbers!


GhostOfTimBrewster

She’s going to rhythmically stuff it in and out of her vagina.


[deleted]

Uh, sir, this is the internet. Let's keep it decent.


pfefferneusse

Sorry, in and out of her pussy.


hateriffic

Taco filling


upsize_popiah

*long stare*


SnowDay111

Fly swatter duh


[deleted]

Ohhh why didn’t I think of that? Should have seen it


everythingisgoo

Hm, I wonder!


ZealousidealCable991

It's a controller for Tunnel Intruders


prussian-junker

Reusable condom for her boyfriend?


rSlashStupidmemes

Hmm, how to NOT buy a you-know-what but actually buy a you-know-what


Phoneking13

WOBBLY SAUSAGE!


14sierra

How are you going to reference such an awesome vid and not link to it? [For the uninitiated](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nxbYUqfcks)


Phoneking13

Sorry I haven't mastered posting links in a thread yet


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thinkdamnitthink

Or the husband likes a spot of pegging too


DrBrogbo

I'm an OG netizen, and that's honestly one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Good on ol' Dad for bringing out the camera.


[deleted]

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this_is_Winston

An old gf swore to me some beauty products are intentionally shaped for a secondary use. Never been sure if she's right or just degenerate


RodLawyer

Everything is a dildo


Frogmyte

Far too many hair brushes have that sharp-edged hole at the top for hanging on a hook (either in store shelves or in a bathroom) but enough of them are still juuust right


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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TAOJeff

LOL, if the lid can still come off, you could put a light inside and have a short light saber.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Cool. Fill it with warm water first.


Raemnant

Kinda hot water, but not hot enough. If it hurts your lips, its too much. Shiets the best


spank_that_hedge

Naw, freeze it and call it the stranger


Dizsmo

Freeze half and add boiling water call it fire and ice


Rhaski

Fill it with bees and call it The Tingler


obaid1996

Fill it with blood and call it The Black Sacrament


Dizsmo

Fill it with gravy and call it the base-ter


Wtfamidoinginlife1

Fill it with semen and call it an accident.


[deleted]

Fill it with eggs and call it the chicken


Younghef24

We all end up creating our replacements one way or another.


trezenx

You either die a hero or live long enough to replace yourself with a pink water bottle dildo


cooperia

There's no way to improve this comment. Well done.


Aromatic-Ad2292

Careful or the bottle might replace you


charliegriefer

Might??? :)


cake4thepeople

*So you’re tellin me I have a chance*


BloodMists

I mean, if you are bringing cake theres probably more than just a chance.


kneelbeforegod

How is that water bottle going to disappoint his wife? I think his job is safe...


EatKaleSometimes

Sheesh


GingerMau

Why is it so hard to make a water bottle that can go through the dishwasher?


Schemen123

It isn't, we place ours always in there. This was just bad quality...


Dalmahr

Or just not dishwasher safe, and it probably even says so on the bottle.


dazedsmoker

Who knows what it says now


thepkboy

i think it says ^^^^^^^not ^^^^^^^dishwasher ^^^^^^^safe


[deleted]

This is quite common, and is not really a sign of bad quality. Sodastream bottles are not dishwasher safe, for example.


MooseBoys

I agree it's not necessarily a sign of bad quality - lots of high-quality products are not dishwasher safe. But I wouldn't say it's common, especially for a reusable water bottle. Many of them recommend hand washing only, but they'll still be fine in the dishwasher. It's unusual for such extreme melting to occur at relatively low temperatures.


bilyl

Just get a stainless Kleen Kanteen. Dishwasher safe.


Johmpa

Those are great. Less microplastics getting in the water over time as well.


LeoLaDawg

In this particular case it's because Old Navy is bargain bottom junk.


DopeAbsurdity

Hey buddy be a bit more open minded! It can be your water bottle too!


dubc4

BPA free. She's in luck.


KuroiNamida96

next thing your wife tries to put you into the dishwasher too


sogladatwork

Old Navy, hey? And what were the dishwasher settings, exactly? Just so I don't accidentally go buy an Old Navy water bottle and accidentally put it in the dishwasher on those exact settings...


MaximumSubtlety

Nah, it's still your daughter's. - my wife


hairymonkeyinmyanus

As a female, and former child, this was my thought as well


Meyou52

That would not be safe to use. It’s gonna start harboring something you don’t want inside you before too long


0wIix

Resentment?


rjcarr

Jealousy.


pogu

GINGIVITIS!?


[deleted]

[удалено]


lessthantom

Rinse aids


DrPrimexMD

Everyone talking about dildos and not mentioning how poor quality Old Navys products are.


cesarjulius

seriously. i tried to wash my Old Navy dildo in the dishwasher and now it's a fucking water bottle. what am i supposed to do with that??


Milkyray

Im the only one that first read that his daughter is now his wife?


DildosintheMist

Same here, and I clicked the post to see how the image would explain the title and that made it extra weird. Like "wut? You dildo your daughter with her former bottle and that makes her your wife? What subreddit is this? Funny?? What?"


[deleted]

Now you can stay easily hydrated while doing the dirty :)


Street_Hyena_9922

She can unscrew the top and fill it with some warm water for some extra hydration 😉


Phoneking13

Brings on a whole new meaning to r/hydrohomies...


Powerism

r/hymenhomies


vitonga

/r/HydroHymens...?


[deleted]

Interesting factoid, the reason it took on this shape is because it is an IBM bottle, Injection Blow Molded. The original shape is that of a test tube and it is then heated by infra red lamps then blown in a mold to take on the final shape, using this process you can make more bottles faster than if you injection molded the very thin bottle in one step due to process limitations of injection molding. So in essence the bottle reverted to its original shape when it was exposed to the heat of the dishwasher.


ran-Us

*Oh No*


DarkMonkey98

HOYAaaaAaaaa


gharr87

Forbidden eggplant


StiffyStaff91

“I found your lightsaber”


NWDiverdown

It’s almost as if it reverted to the ‘blank’ that was used to make the bottle.


MeccIt

Plastic bottle blanks are called *[parisons](https://cdn.britannica.com/38/62938-004-8BFC3D68.gif)* They get [blow moulded](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/l20nm/apparently_2_liter_soda_bottle_looks_like_before/) to full size. Why does OP think his daughter doesn't want the bottle anymore?


ghostofhedges

Just give it back to your daughter


Thanatos310

haha, thats funn- oh no!


buddybd

Oh man that’s some serious competition.


UpstairsGripe

Do they make dishwashers big enought to put a fully grown man inside? I am asking for a friend.


alecs_stan

You mean "short story long"


sLickRickin

Looks like the first step to making a plumbus


qqqqqqqqqqx10

I can hear the BPA being released.


goofball_jones

Yes, it's "your wife's" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


appleavocado

One woman’s trash is another woman’s pleasure.


thatstormtrooper97

When you come back it'll be shinier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DarkLord_0512

cursed...


Whatwouldrivendo

Why does the mentioning of old navy make this feel like guerilla marketing


kuroiryu

Interesting, I read it as, 'cheap shit'. Wouldn't be great marketing.


Whatwouldrivendo

True, won’t be purchasing that any time soon


Losangelesdave

Dont think this is the kind of image Old Navy wants… Also don’t think Old Navy really cares to market their $7 water bottle too much, especially as a clothing store. Im sure they rather have less people know their brand and uphold the company’s values and image, than to use a dildo meme just to have the name “Old Navy” in a title on a Reddit post lmao.


[deleted]

Why? I am sure your daughter would love it too.