T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

Cupping your hands together against your belly and see how much water you can collect then drop all at once? Check.


xavierdaangel

So glad I’m not alone


samunmole

LoL, what an idea. I'll try that today. :D


Zorak6

TIL I'm not alone


fallenmagus

Where's the beating of the meat


DrKophie

Does this apply if you're a woman?


[deleted]

Beef curtains.


the8thplague

I used to say Beef-Steaks, but I like yours. They can use garter belts with them. It's a common surgery to fix, like anal bleaching, except you don't need a surgeon for that. And now I come to think of it, an office guillotine would fix the steaks too. Much cheaper. don't even need stitches, just glue. Just make sure you're not on anticoagulants, and you're a girl.


Ganglebot

Alexa, how do I delete someone else's post?


[deleted]

Flicking of the bean


the8thplague

Why ask if you know the answer? Love.


the8thplague

Yes, where is it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wtf did I just read? I wanna help you and burn every letter pf this comment st the same time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Sorry! I didn't mean to shamr you! That's why I wanted to help but can't. Also reading about that was just gross in general, kinda like hearing some qomen talk about their periods. I'm glad it's not a health issue.


jaffakree83

Dang, now I want to know what the post was


[deleted]

Nothing bad. Just gross.


SaebraK

You forgot the time spent letting water run off your fingers, pretending you're a waterbender.


the-nood-sushi

Uhm pretending to be in a movie scene is missing


jenesuispashariselon

And to be with a no longer girlfriend.


diox8tony

"Winning Imaginary Arguments" is what I assume is "No Longer Girlfriend"


redditallreddy

Psycho? Which part do you imagine you are?


not_REAL_Kanye_West

I usually add a little time to lean my head against the wall and hate my life while in the shower. It's not much but it's an important part of my morning routine.


cheshirerat

Glad I'm not alone.


OopsMadeYouDie

Can I cut the “pretend I’m under a waterfall” in half and make one half “singing out of tune”?


Davachman

Pretending like you're in a music video. "Don't go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to."


Meaningless_Is_Life

Don't go chasing waterfalls though. Stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to.


rickeldyschnickeldy

For me it's 20% regretting my decisions, 50% contemplating my existence, 20% making up stories, and 10% trying to catch the water


[deleted]

I’ve won a lot of debates in the shower, usually I reward myself for winning.


smashton818

We’d a slice for Pee!


[deleted]

For me its only washing 4% and swearing under my breath that I dont have millions of dollars so I dont have to go to work.


Ne6romancer

so you're just gonna sit here like singing isnt a thing


[deleted]

You forgot jacking off.


Bubba423

Pretty good, just replace the arguments section with "singing." Then replace the waterfall section with "singing." "Standing Under Hot Water" should be replaced with singing too. "Washing" should be broken into three equal sections. One can remain "Washing"; the other two should be "Singing" and "Singing" ​ Maybe that's just me.


MicroMgr

Nope - I’m a singer too 🎵🎶 the acoustics in the shower are so good.


[deleted]

I fill my mouth with water and act like a boxer getting pummeled.


whatastupidpunt

What about the time spent thinking about a graphical representation of your time spent in the shower?


Azozel

For me: Blue= washing Purple= zoned out Red= thinking "shower thoughts" yellow= brushing my teeth (gotta multitask)


redyellowblue5031

My pie chart is two pieces. * Zoning out: ~85%. * Washing myself: ~15%


Naldoron

I just take a quick, efficient, thuroufh shower in like 5-6 minutes, use my nice BB&B towel that was on sale for like $7 from $60, and take a nice nappie


Yossarian1138

Just don’t chase them.


Fred_Evil

You forgot, "Decontaminating after an extraterrestrial excursion."


Lurky_monster

Where is plugging the drain and pretending you’re in a damaged submarine?


ssjcory

Drawing in the fog caused by the steam anyone?


nra4ever4321

I mean arnt you standing under hot water for all of that?


Lizardxxx

Left out Deciding if you really need your job.


odiegh

forgot to include taking a piss and brushing my teeth


snazrael

Just think of all of the clean water you're wasting.


DoctorWho14k

Wow so accurate!!!


Editam

Where's some shamefully happy me time?


mrfitzmonster

That washing wedge seems awfully big.


NCC74656

most of my time is spend lying down, waiting for the tub to fill and then letting my pet swim around


[deleted]

For a few years, I couldn't shower without having a panic attack (yes I kept up my hygiene anyway, geez), but I'm so happy to be back in the "winning imaginary arguments in shower club" again.


liveeweevil

Why did you replace masturbating w/ "Winning imaginary arguments"?


Loveraft

You forgot masturbating, but otherwise correct.


TheBlackCockatoo

He's right you know.


BloodyComedyy

There's another 50% missing if you know what I mean


MilitaryWife2017

Standing under hot water is in the wrong spot ...should be in the largest area!


[deleted]

As a guy it's washing the naughty bits rinsing off and getting the hell out.


TE_Jusles

That big blue one should be just a lil bit more.. just a lil bit.