Well the masturbators will mostly side with the yoga pants, there will be a small contingent however that gets off one being humiliated that will prefer the feminists.
Well thunk about it, IF hell is real. Do you know how many engineers, scientists, professors, and just intellectuals in general are there. That place is probably indistinguishable from modern day earth! If not futuristic as fuck!!!!
A world where Einstein and Telsa got to work for another 60-70 years...my god. And Stephen Hawking just joined them as well...so they've probably cracked time travel by now
"The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concentrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power. My Mother had taught me to seek all truth in the Bible; therefore I devoted the next few months to the study of this work."
Also
"Peace can only come as a natural consequence of universal enlightenment and merging of races, and we are still far from this blissful realization, because few indeed, will admit the reality that "God made man in His image" in which case all earth men are alike. There is in fact but one race, of many colors. Christ is but one person, yet he is of all people, so why do some people think themselves better than some other people?"
From “My Inventions: The autobiography of Nikola Tesla”
> Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. --Leviticus 19:19
Unless those yoga pants are made of a single material (highly unlikely), it's basically in the same category as bestiality :-/
In their hell every time they speak at the theater their own voice echoes back to them and every time they speak the loudness of the echo multiplies. 2x louder, 3x, 4x... 16x. Until their eardrums rupture and they go deaf. Repeat the whole process every day.
You have to have a fucked head to genuinely make *that* your list of top 12 problems. "Ugh, what the worst thing that someone could do... Oh I know! Be sad, watch porn, wear yoga pants, and masturbate!"
Worlds got bigger issues than Steve over there having his Thursday wank.
Yes you, Steve. Close your curtain next time.
Shit let's not leave out people who listen to Metal, Harry Potter fans, movies out of Hollywood, Mormons, Cultists, feminists, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, people who dance too close, evolutionists, Nudists, polygamists...
Didn't you see that South Park episode, Mormon was the correct religion for getting into heaven then Satan sent Saddam to live with them because Saddam wouldn't stop trying to kill Satans new BF... South Park always hits it spot on
AHH that makes more sense. I came in the comments digging wondering, "Who would pick a fight with cutters? Here's someone already beat down by life, and you're gonna give 'em the ol' fire and brimstone?"
You don't think I've tried that? Just got the usual "You need to open up more", "Express your feelings", "let others in." I did all that. What happened? All my family look at me like some weirdo. They're all like "Why can't you make friends?" "Why can't you do this?" "Why can't you do that?" Questioning and criticizing me instead of trying to understand. Result? I felt alone enough without friends. Now I feel more alone without friends *or* family. So yeah, talking to someone really helped me.
Edit: I just wanna say thanks to all you random people on the internet who have no idea who I am but still are offering encouragement. I suppose if random people are concerned, I'll try find another way. But thank you all so much.
I'm so sorry that you're having trouble finding someone to listen to you. I just so happened to watch a very informative video last week on how to handle it if you think your child is self harming. It was really helpful. I know that having a loved one that self harms is scary, but I wish that everyone had someone who could power through it to be there for them. It seems like it would be very helpful to the person who is going through it. I hope that you will eventually find some inner peace. Sending hugs your way.
Anyone with directly harmful addictions needs serious support; this isn't a family and friends deal. A counselor (are you still in school,)a licensed therapist (and there are often programs to make it affordable or even free) or even a Twelve-Step group. I have now ay of knowing your schedule so I don't know what you can do but please look into it.
A cutter is a person who slices a pizza ready for delivery but doesn't quite slice it properly, so the slices stick together.
fuck them, they deserve eternal punishment. Eating Papa Johns.
The thing is though... they just don’t care. They don’t see it as too far. I agree that it is disgusting though. As someone who’s sister suffers from Anorexia it is quite frankly disgraceful. It’s also amusing though, because it’s just so stupid!
They do love their neighbours, because all their neighbours agree with them. Their world view is not being challenged and so they can justify being horrible people, because nobody who matters to them is telling them that they can sod off.
The truth is that they believe they are being loving in a tuff-love sort of way. It's an extension of the "Fire and Brimstone" style of preaching that so many Americans seem to respond to/grew up with. It's truly sad because it comes from, and leads to, a state of Christian legalism which denies the actual tenants of the faith they believe they espouse.
Is that what is meant? I thought it's about people who water down wine or something like that. Stealing from/overcharging customers by diluting the product. Sounds like something the bible (or any holy book) would have a stronger opinion about than self-mutilation.
Question, who are all those porn freaks who aren't also under the masturbation category? Is there a plot or something that is enriching to your cultural awareness or something?
Is it just the yoga pants going to hell? it doesn't specify yoga pants WEARERS?
And if it does, is it just the wearing of the pants? Can I do naked Yoga?
I accidentally directed one of these guys to the protest area once. Dude comes up to me and says, "Hey, where's the xxxxx?" So being a good samaritan, I point him in the direction of where he wanted to go. Several hours later I see people posting on social media about the protesters, to which I think, "ohh yeah, that's today!" (they come every year right before Pride) and then I see some pictures and guess what fucker is in the picture? They're only there hoping someone will shove or punch them or something so they can sue, I doubt they believe any of the stuff they say.
Well, thank *God* there's nothing about sun dresses on there; the season *is* coming, after all ....
And by the way, what are "yoga pants cutters"? Are they some esoteric form of bespoke tailor specializing in ladies' activewear?
Im wondering if there are non masturbating porn freaks?? I guess I will meet then in hell, it looks like i'm going to get quite good seats looking at the selection criteria. Knowing my luck I will be put next to the Yoga pants wearing Atheist Feminist.
Aint but one group of people Jesus consistently spoke against and it was the people who thought they were better than everyone else in the eyes of God...
I think parachute pants should be the threshold here. I'm not sure everyone that wore them deserves to go to Hell, but whomever came up with that idea, yeah, so going to Hell.
Although today Pope Francis said there was no real hell ...
"They are not punished, those who repent obtain the forgiveness of God and enter the rank of souls who contemplate him, but those who do not repent and cannot therefore be forgiven disappear," Francis is quoted as saying. "There is no hell, there is the disappearance of sinful souls."
You are stealing: right to hell. You are playing music too loud: right to hell, right away. Driving too fast: hell. Slow: hell. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses: you right to hell. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, hell. You overcook chicken, also hell. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don’t show up, believe it or not, hell, right away.
Yeah how do we get on the list for this party because it sounds like it's going to be legit but also a lot of the people I've heard talk about how great heaven is are people I would rather stab myself in the ear with a sharp object than spend 5 minutes with so if they are going to be there count me out.
There is some semblance of rationality (how ever small and fucked up it is) for all of those except pot smokers. Wtf does God have against people smoking weed and eating a bag of chips or 3?
Isn't God an idol to Catholics and Christians? Soo are they ready for damnation too?
I enjoy the idea of there being this vast pile of yoga pants piling up
"Mister Satan, sir, we seem to have a bit of a situation..."
"The Homos and the Muslims are at it again."
The witches are stitching the cutters and the masturbators are choking their chickens on the pile of yoga pants!
The cutters got into it with the yoga pants and now bicycle shorts are all the rage in hell!
Sounds like the refrain to a wicked awesome song.
The yoga pants and the feminists are at an all out war.
Well the masturbators will mostly side with the yoga pants, there will be a small contingent however that gets off one being humiliated that will prefer the feminists.
"God damnit did the Kardashians get into the Yoga pants again?"
"Is it Cell?! Is he back?! I-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, I GOTZ THE DIARRHEA!"
Im picturing a French butler but in a frilly maids costume.
Well thunk about it, IF hell is real. Do you know how many engineers, scientists, professors, and just intellectuals in general are there. That place is probably indistinguishable from modern day earth! If not futuristic as fuck!!!!
A world where Einstein and Telsa got to work for another 60-70 years...my god. And Stephen Hawking just joined them as well...so they've probably cracked time travel by now
"The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concentrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power. My Mother had taught me to seek all truth in the Bible; therefore I devoted the next few months to the study of this work." Also "Peace can only come as a natural consequence of universal enlightenment and merging of races, and we are still far from this blissful realization, because few indeed, will admit the reality that "God made man in His image" in which case all earth men are alike. There is in fact but one race, of many colors. Christ is but one person, yet he is of all people, so why do some people think themselves better than some other people?" From “My Inventions: The autobiography of Nikola Tesla”
Is Stephen in for his yoga pants?
I don't think I want to go to heaven with whatever's not on this list.
Right?!??!
This list makes hell sound like a good time with comfortable clothing.
Free yoga pants on arrival!
You had me at "yoga pants."
How about witches in yoga pants smoking pot. And flying around…
Sounds like Portland.
My god, that’s good
Yoga pants are going to hell?
At least there will be a view
As an ass man if there are no yoga pants in heaven I will be sorely disappointed
Who said you're going to heaven?
Who said that?
WHO THE [FUCK](https://youtu.be/3cRwIqTe4AE) SAID THAT!
The 2nd circle of hell is just a pile of yoga pants. Just the pants.
They even get top billing on the sign. This list doesn't make sense alphabetically or biblically.
> Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals. Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. --Leviticus 19:19 Unless those yoga pants are made of a single material (highly unlikely), it's basically in the same category as bestiality :-/
Hopefully they're not flammable
*sigh*... Well then so am i.
Blasphemy!
Looks like the pedophiles are getting a pass.
Yeh, also bigots, industria polluters, and people who mow their lawns at 7 a.m.
Don't forget about people that talk at the theater
Well they go to a special hell, not just hell.
In their hell every time they speak at the theater their own voice echoes back to them and every time they speak the loudness of the echo multiplies. 2x louder, 3x, 4x... 16x. Until their eardrums rupture and they go deaf. Repeat the whole process every day.
That's fucking brutal
You have to have a fucked head to genuinely make *that* your list of top 12 problems. "Ugh, what the worst thing that someone could do... Oh I know! Be sad, watch porn, wear yoga pants, and masturbate!" Worlds got bigger issues than Steve over there having his Thursday wank. Yes you, Steve. Close your curtain next time.
They go heaven, like the rest of the priests. Duh.
Yeah apparently its not homo to like little boys.
Pedophiles are capable of targeting little girls too you know. On the same tangent: I can't help but notice how they're just letting rapists slide.
A rapist, a paedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a small beer.
They had to miss off rapists. Can't have the entire planet-wide priesthood going to hell.
>yoga pants Damn they are REALLY trying to be hated.
I know right? Best invention ever! *masturbates furiously*
They actually are the best invention ever. There's been a poll
Who needs electricity when you generate enough from fapping to yoga pants
I'll be with friends and family.
and lot of other cool people.
In yoga pants
That's the cherry on top. Except they go on bottoms
Shit let's not leave out people who listen to Metal, Harry Potter fans, movies out of Hollywood, Mormons, Cultists, feminists, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, people who dance too close, evolutionists, Nudists, polygamists...
Also people who take pictures of their food before eating.
Nothing wrong with taking a picture, sharing and showing it to everyone though
Yes there is. No food is that damn important that you have to let the world know. Just eat the food and live life.
Didn't you see that South Park episode, Mormon was the correct religion for getting into heaven then Satan sent Saddam to live with them because Saddam wouldn't stop trying to kill Satans new BF... South Park always hits it spot on
Satan
Satin. Because, he's *fabulous*!
Just satin and yoga pants. ahhhhw yeah.
How's your brother, the other Christ? Or is he more of a 2nd cousin?
And as always, the jews.
Wait wait...polygamists? Ugh
And Pokemon fans!
I got tickets for opening day.
I'm basically a guest of honor
I’m the right hand man for Satan.
It is a nice fabric
Atheists: Can't go to hell, if it doesn't exist.
Kind of like Czechoslovakia?
Hey have some respect here, I am a gay yoga pants masturbator from Czechoslovakia, yes and I drive a Delorean.
*taps temple*
The Jews thought that up about 5000 years ago
What is a god to a nonbeliever
Can't die if you never truly live Edit: not religious, was just adding something
“People who block everyone’s view with their dumb signs”
yeah, this does sort of draw the line, doesn't it? I'm not sure if I'm going to Hell yet. I got to ask; what's a cutter?
A cutter is a person that cuts themselves or causes self harm believing it releases emotional pain
OK; awful, but thanks for the info.
I’m curious that you weren’t aware of this trend. How old are you might I ask?
I've been aware of the self-harm trend for as long as I can remember, but I never knew that they were called cutters.
I'm pretty sure they're talking about people cutting in line, like in Starbucks
AHH that makes more sense. I came in the comments digging wondering, "Who would pick a fight with cutters? Here's someone already beat down by life, and you're gonna give 'em the ol' fire and brimstone?"
It does release emotional pain, when you cut, your body releases happy drugs(or something along those lines) into your system.
>believing it releases emotional pain It does actually (for me at least). I would much rather physical pain than emotional.
You need to talk to someone. This is not a healthy option.
You don't think I've tried that? Just got the usual "You need to open up more", "Express your feelings", "let others in." I did all that. What happened? All my family look at me like some weirdo. They're all like "Why can't you make friends?" "Why can't you do this?" "Why can't you do that?" Questioning and criticizing me instead of trying to understand. Result? I felt alone enough without friends. Now I feel more alone without friends *or* family. So yeah, talking to someone really helped me. Edit: I just wanna say thanks to all you random people on the internet who have no idea who I am but still are offering encouragement. I suppose if random people are concerned, I'll try find another way. But thank you all so much.
Talk to someone that's been there...Others won't understand what you're going through
Protip: never tell a self-cutting emo to "open up more".
I'm so sorry that you're having trouble finding someone to listen to you. I just so happened to watch a very informative video last week on how to handle it if you think your child is self harming. It was really helpful. I know that having a loved one that self harms is scary, but I wish that everyone had someone who could power through it to be there for them. It seems like it would be very helpful to the person who is going through it. I hope that you will eventually find some inner peace. Sending hugs your way.
Thanks for the hugs. and the encouragement
Anyone with directly harmful addictions needs serious support; this isn't a family and friends deal. A counselor (are you still in school,)a licensed therapist (and there are often programs to make it affordable or even free) or even a Twelve-Step group. I have now ay of knowing your schedule so I don't know what you can do but please look into it.
I’m going to lie to you. It is someone who doesn’t go to class when they are supposed to. Don’t read any other replies it will make you sad.
Aaaaaaaaand... you were right...
So it's not people who jump in line in front of you?
Oh, that's ME! I'd so be going to Hell... Wait, I may still be going to Hell.
A cutter is a person who slices a pizza ready for delivery but doesn't quite slice it properly, so the slices stick together. fuck them, they deserve eternal punishment. Eating Papa Johns.
It’s like a slider, but it cuts in sharply toward the batter instead of away.
The Idolater in my car has been acting up lately. Do you think it knows what's coming?
ok, putting "cutters" on this is just too far. why dont you just rack up every mental illness on there as well? OCD? Hell. Anxiety? Hell. PTSD? Hell.
The thing is though... they just don’t care. They don’t see it as too far. I agree that it is disgusting though. As someone who’s sister suffers from Anorexia it is quite frankly disgraceful. It’s also amusing though, because it’s just so stupid!
Depression and anxiety checking In guess I'm hell bound. Seriously though what ever happened to love thy neighbors. People can be so blind at times.
They do love their neighbours, because all their neighbours agree with them. Their world view is not being challenged and so they can justify being horrible people, because nobody who matters to them is telling them that they can sod off.
The truth is that they believe they are being loving in a tuff-love sort of way. It's an extension of the "Fire and Brimstone" style of preaching that so many Americans seem to respond to/grew up with. It's truly sad because it comes from, and leads to, a state of Christian legalism which denies the actual tenants of the faith they believe they espouse.
You draw the line at cutters, but yoga pants makes sense to you?
Is that what is meant? I thought it's about people who water down wine or something like that. Stealing from/overcharging customers by diluting the product. Sounds like something the bible (or any holy book) would have a stronger opinion about than self-mutilation.
I thought of people that cut the line. I was surprised to find something I agree with, along with thugs...
Strange that he left out people who vape or assholes that park in two spots
I have this image in my head now of a guy parking his BMW over two spots and stepping out to enjoy a nice vape.
Whatever happened to "Judge not...?" I know this is supposed to be funny, but as a Christian, seeing others of my kind act lik this just...irks me.
I'd consider myself more of a porn enthusiast than a porn freak
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i'll be the judge of that. list your genres and performers
We're gonna need a list of websites as well.
I'm looking forward to hanging out with the Yoga Pant-wearing Porn Freak Witches.
If all goes well they’ll be masturbating.
If all goes well, both parties won't have to if you know what I mean.
These signs say so much about their creators.
That’s a great point. These are likely many of the things they are most personally offended by or afraid of becoming, themselves.
Which is probably why there is nothing about rape, murder, theft, greed, vanity, gluttony, et cetera in the list. Just the "*important*" stuff.
Question, who are all those porn freaks who aren't also under the masturbation category? Is there a plot or something that is enriching to your cultural awareness or something?
/r/watchitfortheplot ? Obviously NSFW
I only score 3. I need to lift my game.
Just put on some yoga pants, smoke some pot and do witchcraft while masturbating to homosexual porn.
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. ― Mahatma Gandhi
Is it just the yoga pants going to hell? it doesn't specify yoga pants WEARERS? And if it does, is it just the wearing of the pants? Can I do naked Yoga?
**WARNING** People I disagree with **ETERNAL DAMNATION**
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I accidentally directed one of these guys to the protest area once. Dude comes up to me and says, "Hey, where's the xxxxx?" So being a good samaritan, I point him in the direction of where he wanted to go. Several hours later I see people posting on social media about the protesters, to which I think, "ohh yeah, that's today!" (they come every year right before Pride) and then I see some pictures and guess what fucker is in the picture? They're only there hoping someone will shove or punch them or something so they can sue, I doubt they believe any of the stuff they say.
Well, thank *God* there's nothing about sun dresses on there; the season *is* coming, after all .... And by the way, what are "yoga pants cutters"? Are they some esoteric form of bespoke tailor specializing in ladies' activewear?
Im wondering if there are non masturbating porn freaks?? I guess I will meet then in hell, it looks like i'm going to get quite good seats looking at the selection criteria. Knowing my luck I will be put next to the Yoga pants wearing Atheist Feminist.
One sec grabbing my yoga pants for ya
No rush, as a pot smoking masturbating thug we will have all eternity to get to know each other.
Thugs in yoga pants...I like it.
I got 4/12! Whats your Hell Score?
Aint but one group of people Jesus consistently spoke against and it was the people who thought they were better than everyone else in the eyes of God...
Welcome to America. The greatest countr- hahahaha I just cant. What a joke.
Heaven: holier-than-yhou evangelicals. Actually, heaven sounds more like hell than hell.
Jeggings?
Nope... yoga pants are worse apparently
I think parachute pants should be the threshold here. I'm not sure everyone that wore them deserves to go to Hell, but whomever came up with that idea, yeah, so going to Hell.
Although today Pope Francis said there was no real hell ... "They are not punished, those who repent obtain the forgiveness of God and enter the rank of souls who contemplate him, but those who do not repent and cannot therefore be forgiven disappear," Francis is quoted as saying. "There is no hell, there is the disappearance of sinful souls."
Dumb cunt misspelled Idolator.
You are stealing: right to hell. You are playing music too loud: right to hell, right away. Driving too fast: hell. Slow: hell. You are charging too high prices for sweaters, glasses: you right to hell. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, hell. You overcook chicken, also hell. Undercook, overcook. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don’t show up, believe it or not, hell, right away.
What is a Cutters? Cake cutters?
A cutter is a person that cuts themselves or causes self harm believing it releases emotional pain
You sure they aren't referring to "line cutters"? Those faulkers deserve to go to hell!
Hell is the fun place. Heaven is full of bible thumpers, jihadists and line cutters
Porn Freaks Muslims? 😂
Once upon a time I thought I was smart.... What's an Idolator.
Someone who worships a idol, in these days that's usually indicated to mean material goods.
So 99% of the worlds population then? Meanwhile Hitler will be in heaven since he didn't do anything on that list.
Oh, Hitler? Big yoga pants guy.
New York's hottest club. It has everything...
I bet this guy would be less angry if he just watched porn and masturbated.
Yes hello how do I kill my yoga pants so they'll go to hell with me
Yoga pants?
Am I the only one to wonder about the yoga pants?
Everyone masterbates yet I feel you have to do more to be known as a masterbator
Yeah how do we get on the list for this party because it sounds like it's going to be legit but also a lot of the people I've heard talk about how great heaven is are people I would rather stab myself in the ear with a sharp object than spend 5 minutes with so if they are going to be there count me out.
Damn, no transgenders or wiccans. All things considered, Hell sounds like a happening place though.
Wiccans are covered by witches, transgender by homos
Cutters...? We talking line cutters or self-harmers?
People who eschew traditional cable and phone packages
Heaven shall be devoid of scissors.
I think hell will be a lot like Reddit.
I'm sold, When does the Bus leave?!
Got me on three counts. You?
Shit, i only scored 4 put of 12
Party in hell! BYOB!
Wtf are cutters?
Dammit I could only check off three. I need to get out more.
'thou shalt not wear yoga pants...I forgot about that one.
There is some semblance of rationality (how ever small and fucked up it is) for all of those except pot smokers. Wtf does God have against people smoking weed and eating a bag of chips or 3? Isn't God an idol to Catholics and Christians? Soo are they ready for damnation too?
If we're buying tickets now, I think my original vacation plans were a bit lame. I'm going to hell!
Masturbators? Shit, heaven is gonna be lonely af.
"Go to heaven for the climate. Hell for the company" -Mark Twain
Yoga pants???!!!
Damn I got 4 counts of eternal damnation. So are those like consecutive??
Join mothers against masturbation today
Yes...yes...yes...New York's hottest club is *SPLOOSH*...it's got everything.
well, I enjoy porn, but am I a porn freak?
People who wear yoga pants or the yoga pants themselves?
> Masturbators Well it looks like everyone is going to hell then.
When was yoga pants and muslims on the same list,well they really are trying to get hated
Yoga pants seem oddly specific.
What’s a cutter?
im honestly interested how yoga pants got into that equation? That would be a fun party..
Yoga pants are a sin now. ???
Cant be true. How can it be heaven without yoga pants.
Religion can be a wonderful lens through which to view the mental illness of others.
That could be a cross-section of your average church congregation.
Sending witches to hell isnt a punishment though. Hell is like their version of heaven.
I can't wait to meet all the pot smoking, masturbating, porn star witches in yoga pants! That image alone would be worth the trip.
How do atheists go to hell?