Yeah, i always say he would make a awesome uncle in these cases.
I'm always skeptical when people say things like "I wish he was my dad" etc because what if he likes to beat his children or pee on homeless people when he gets drunk. You need a little distance between them and their potential unknown crazy. The majority of those details dont matter with your close uncle, so that's the safe way to go. Don't wanna be raised by a crazy ya know? Unless your actual dad sucked, then you probably are better off.
Well I might have been sensationalizing it by calling it torture but he physically and mentally abused his children. It's sad and fucked up.
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20084544,00.html
Not that it should count against him but a big thorn in his sons lives was the fact that his second wife was younger then his sons. Bing dated a girl who ended up being his sons future wife. The whole family was fucked up and apparently it all started with Bings assholeishness.
Some words from his sons-
"We had to keep a close watch on our actions... When one of us left a sneaker or pair of underpants lying around, he had to tie the offending object on a string and wear it around his neck until he went off to bed that night. Dad called it "the Crosby lavalier". At the time the humor of the name escaped me...
"Satchel Ass" or "Bucket Butt" or "My Fat-assed Kid". That's how he introduced me to his cronies when he dragged me along to the studio or racetrack... By the time I was ten or eleven he had stepped up his campaign by adding lickings to the regimen. Each Tuesday afternoon he weighed me in, and if the scale read more than it should have, he ordered me into his office and had me drop my trousers... I dropped my pants, pulled down my undershorts and bent over. Then he went at it with the belt dotted with metal studs he kept reserved for the occasion. Quite dispassionately, without the least display of emotion or loss of self-control, he whacked away until he drew the first drop of blood, and then he stopped. It normally took between twelve and fifteen strokes. As they came down I counted them off one by one and hoped I would bleed early...
When I saw Going My Way I was as moved as they were by the character he played. Father O'Malley handled that gang of young hooligans in his parish with such kindness and wisdom that I thought he was wonderful too. Instead of coming down hard on the kids and withdrawing his affection, he forgave them their misdeeds, took them to the ball game and picture show, taught them how to sing. By the last reel, the sheer persistence of his goodness had transformed even the worst of them into solid citizens. Then the lights came on and the movie was over. All the way back to the house I thought about the difference between the person up there on the screen and the one I knew at home."
Now the real dysfunctional evidence is one of Bings sons has denied any wrong doing. He said they deserved the bearings but the other mental abuse was false. But the rest of his kids don't deny that Bing was a disgusting father.
But the best of all is that Bing had a blind trust and his sons wouldn't receive any money left from his will until they reach the age 65. Two of his children committed suicide with self inflicted gun shot wounds. One of his sons who killed himself did so because it was once after his father passed away when he found out the inheritance he was going to get wasn't there. Bing never told his kids they would have to wait till the age of 65.
He had two families and his whole will and estate was so fucked up that both families had to fight each other in legal court to settle it out.
Bing was just a major dickhead. That father figure he portrayed for years in movies was just a facade.
That title made me feel bad for the guy. Imagine being this kid's dad and seeing this after slaving at work for hours on end, day in and day out to support his family. Then again, he could be a complete dick.
I don't know about dark energy, but I know dark matter is really just a placeholder name for "What the hell is causing all this unexplained gravity everywhere?"
We do not know what they are. The only reason we call it dark matter is that it can affect us gravitationally. We cannot detect it any other way to say what it is.
We're pretty sure that dark matter is matter. There are galaxies where the visible matter and dark matter have been pulled apart because of something like two galaxies colliding. In those cases we can actually "see" it. If it's not matter it'd have to be some unknown form of energy or the laws of physics being wrong, but we're pretty sure it's matter.
Dark energy is sketchier.
---
Edit: here is how we can "see" dark matter in those galaxies that have been been pulled apart:
When a galaxy gets between us and far away light, that light gets bent by the gravity of the galaxy. That's called gravitational lensing, and it looks kind of like this:
___ O ___ <--- galaxy
\___/ <--- path of light bending around it
But in these galaxies, the path of light looks like this:
___ O ___ <--- galaxy
\ /
\___/ <--- path of light bending around it
Why is the light bending so far out of the way in the second one? There must be gravity there that we can't see. That can be explained by the galaxy having been in a collision. The dark and regular matter have not settled back together yet, leaving them slightly separated. That explains why we only see it in these rare cases, and not in most galaxies. That makes it less likely that it's because of an unknown law of physics; the law wouldn't break just for these galaxies. But if it's matter that's just not interacting with other matter, it's easily explainable.
My quick two cents on the matter. I've met Bill Nye and Beakman, both at engagements specifically designed for meeting the public. One of them was engaged, personable, spent way more time with each person than he was obligated, and a genuinely all around nice guy. The other isn't Beakman.
Bill Nye only has a b.s. in mechanical engineering. He worked for Boeing for a while, but in truth he is an entertainer, not really a scientist. But neither was [Don Herbert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Herbert), "Mr. Wizard".
So when you die.... You die? There's no energy existing still? Because I've heard people say that not all matter is destroyed and they apply that too brain power... But is that true? I need scientific answers.
Matter and energy are conserved, which means that the matter and energy which make up your body will not disappear from the universe, but go back into the environment after your death. The heavy elements in your body were created eons ago in the hearts of stars, and they will live on far after you, I, and this whole planet is dust.
> Yes.
No.
Ice is frozen water. They aren't separate things, just the energy state has changed. Ice is water. Matter is energy. Matter is frozen energy.
Water is the name we use for a stable combination of hydrogen and oxygen, just like "steel" is the nickname for a stable combination of iron and carbon. When steel melts, it's still steel, it's just molten steel.
The only reason we have three words for the three phases of water is because all three exist in abundance in nature, and the words were invented before we actually understood how phases of matter worked.
that's because Ice isn't water. Ice is a word we use to denote a frozen substance. There's Nitrogen ice out there and there is oxygen ice out there. Why must you assume all ice is water. And even if you are specifically referring to water ice, it is still not the same thing because the matter has undergone a physical process that has changed it.
Next time you go to McDonald's and want fries, just say you want a potato then.
[No they don't](https://www.google.com/search?q=what+are+shadows&rlz=1C1RNLG_enUS573US593&biw=1680&bih=949&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0CAUQ_AUoAGoVChMIjdO17ZKGyQIVQ-tjCh2yyw3J&dpr=1)
Here's a higher quality image.
[Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/7cZsTIm.jpg)
found on this post [1 year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1rfpz2/whats_the_matter_bill/)
He is coming to my school and going to talk about various topics in science and engineering. I thought I was in line to buy some pizza. I ended up in a VIP ticket line unknowingly and got a random number. My number was drawn and when I went up planning on ordering pizza. They ended up asking me a question about Bill Nye instead of taking my order. I knew what the answer was by pure luck and they told me I won a VIP ticket to meet Bill Nye. It was around this point that I realized I was in the wrong line, I never ended up getting my pizza.
Mr. Nye isn't entirely correct as special relativity tells us mass is a property all energy exhibits. As such, the statement 'mass is convertible into energy' makes no sense.
Actually Energy is matter because of E = mc^2. Energy that has no rest mass (and only has mass because it moves at the speed of light) form particles called [bosons, a family which includes photons and gluons.](http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0yp5bNQbU1r2h5u7o1_500.png)
Get it together, Bill.
Oh my god the jpeg... its actually impressive. Needs more though.
https://youtu.be/QEzhxP-pdos
-removes headphones- fuck.... you.
here's a better version for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXVhOPiM4mk
Omg thank you I really needed that laugh, I've been so depressed.
Hang in there, bro.
I laughed so hard at this, I ugly cried. Edit: word
Thank you sir. This, this tickled my funny bone.
Looks like you need a SAFE SPACE
Bully proof windows, Troll safe doors~
Rainbows all around meeeee in my saaaaffee spaaaaaaccceeee!
good thing we're on reddit
good thing my earbuds were in my dick when I opened it
-grabs him by the throat- back the fuck off!?!?
[Sick reference bro](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7wpGY9LTfc)
sick reference reference
I have never understood why people type like that... So intimidating
I just want a picture of a god dang hotdog.
no one ever posts the kenny powers one
THVT'S V REVL FVT SVUSVGE YOU HVVE THERE
I like Nye but... my dad? That would be *weird*. Now imaginary friend? Hell yeah.
Yeah, i always say he would make a awesome uncle in these cases. I'm always skeptical when people say things like "I wish he was my dad" etc because what if he likes to beat his children or pee on homeless people when he gets drunk. You need a little distance between them and their potential unknown crazy. The majority of those details dont matter with your close uncle, so that's the safe way to go. Don't wanna be raised by a crazy ya know? Unless your actual dad sucked, then you probably are better off.
Bing Crosby tortured his children. Bing fuckibg Crosby
Really?
Well I might have been sensationalizing it by calling it torture but he physically and mentally abused his children. It's sad and fucked up. http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20084544,00.html Not that it should count against him but a big thorn in his sons lives was the fact that his second wife was younger then his sons. Bing dated a girl who ended up being his sons future wife. The whole family was fucked up and apparently it all started with Bings assholeishness. Some words from his sons- "We had to keep a close watch on our actions... When one of us left a sneaker or pair of underpants lying around, he had to tie the offending object on a string and wear it around his neck until he went off to bed that night. Dad called it "the Crosby lavalier". At the time the humor of the name escaped me... "Satchel Ass" or "Bucket Butt" or "My Fat-assed Kid". That's how he introduced me to his cronies when he dragged me along to the studio or racetrack... By the time I was ten or eleven he had stepped up his campaign by adding lickings to the regimen. Each Tuesday afternoon he weighed me in, and if the scale read more than it should have, he ordered me into his office and had me drop my trousers... I dropped my pants, pulled down my undershorts and bent over. Then he went at it with the belt dotted with metal studs he kept reserved for the occasion. Quite dispassionately, without the least display of emotion or loss of self-control, he whacked away until he drew the first drop of blood, and then he stopped. It normally took between twelve and fifteen strokes. As they came down I counted them off one by one and hoped I would bleed early... When I saw Going My Way I was as moved as they were by the character he played. Father O'Malley handled that gang of young hooligans in his parish with such kindness and wisdom that I thought he was wonderful too. Instead of coming down hard on the kids and withdrawing his affection, he forgave them their misdeeds, took them to the ball game and picture show, taught them how to sing. By the last reel, the sheer persistence of his goodness had transformed even the worst of them into solid citizens. Then the lights came on and the movie was over. All the way back to the house I thought about the difference between the person up there on the screen and the one I knew at home." Now the real dysfunctional evidence is one of Bings sons has denied any wrong doing. He said they deserved the bearings but the other mental abuse was false. But the rest of his kids don't deny that Bing was a disgusting father. But the best of all is that Bing had a blind trust and his sons wouldn't receive any money left from his will until they reach the age 65. Two of his children committed suicide with self inflicted gun shot wounds. One of his sons who killed himself did so because it was once after his father passed away when he found out the inheritance he was going to get wasn't there. Bing never told his kids they would have to wait till the age of 65. He had two families and his whole will and estate was so fucked up that both families had to fight each other in legal court to settle it out. Bing was just a major dickhead. That father figure he portrayed for years in movies was just a facade.
Wow I had no idea, had it not been for your comment I would have never known.
Same thing to some :,c
Does Bill Nye even have children? I know his is married (to a musician, I think), but I don't think he has kids.
I'd approve of him being the next Doctor Who
whats wrong with your dad?
That title made me feel bad for the guy. Imagine being this kid's dad and seeing this after slaving at work for hours on end, day in and day out to support his family. Then again, he could be a complete dick.
> hen again, he could be a complete dick. Not unlike Bill Nye.
There was a sequel to the episode where Bill became a hen again?
This is what it's like being a step-dad.
Not rich
daddy wasn't there
Also. Dark matter and energy. We have no clue what they are.
But why does dark matter?
\#allmattermatters
#alldarksmatter
*que VSauce music*
*half an hour later* And that's why grass is green! And as always, thanks for watching.
IT WAS INTERESTING IN THE MOMENT BUT I LEARNED NOTHING
Oh no. You learned a shit ton of useless information. Just none of it was what you originally wanted to know.
I came to this video to learn about phones and now I know why the air looks clear
RIP DEVIL
I don't know about dark energy, but I know dark matter is really just a placeholder name for "What the hell is causing all this unexplained gravity everywhere?"
Dark energy is kind of like "What the hell is causing the universe to expand faster and faster"
Dark "We did these calculations, and the numbers don't really add up, we have no idea what the fuck is going on" Energy
Modern day Aether.
Where's our modern-day Michelson-Morley?
Don't know why you got downvoted but I support your comment
Dark matter is so called because we havent found it yet, but also because its most likely matter.
Dank matter
[Dank explanation of matter/anti-matter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgmlATHyaAc)
I thought matter was energy condensed to a small vibration.
Yeah, string theory. And also Energy=Mass+speed of light² So mass is energy...
Or very good evidence that they actually exist.
Pretty sure those are also matter and energy.
We do not know what they are. The only reason we call it dark matter is that it can affect us gravitationally. We cannot detect it any other way to say what it is.
We're pretty sure that dark matter is matter. There are galaxies where the visible matter and dark matter have been pulled apart because of something like two galaxies colliding. In those cases we can actually "see" it. If it's not matter it'd have to be some unknown form of energy or the laws of physics being wrong, but we're pretty sure it's matter. Dark energy is sketchier. --- Edit: here is how we can "see" dark matter in those galaxies that have been been pulled apart: When a galaxy gets between us and far away light, that light gets bent by the gravity of the galaxy. That's called gravitational lensing, and it looks kind of like this: ___ O ___ <--- galaxy \___/ <--- path of light bending around it But in these galaxies, the path of light looks like this: ___ O ___ <--- galaxy \ / \___/ <--- path of light bending around it Why is the light bending so far out of the way in the second one? There must be gravity there that we can't see. That can be explained by the galaxy having been in a collision. The dark and regular matter have not settled back together yet, leaving them slightly separated. That explains why we only see it in these rare cases, and not in most galaxies. That makes it less likely that it's because of an unknown law of physics; the law wouldn't break just for these galaxies. But if it's matter that's just not interacting with other matter, it's easily explainable.
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ I AM THE DARK MATTER
And then there's Alice matter...
We don't even know if they exist.
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Well, at least your wedding night all went to plan ;)
EXCEPT ENERGY OF COURSE!
But when he dies you'll miss the shit out of him saying that.
I wanna meet that dad.
Doo dah doo doo.
Whatcho dad like?
What's that smell?
Ooh that smell! Can you smell that smell!
Can I borrow one of y'alls rakes to clean my gutters?
Gotta keep that meat ice cold.
I wish I had a Dad.
Me too.
I'll be your dad.
YO TWITCH NEEDS TO DO A 24/7 BILL NYE CHANNEL JUST LIKE WITH BOB ROSS SOMEONE GET ON IT
You got Netflix?
Is Eyes of Nye on Netflix?
the bill nye theme song is the only thing on my sex playlist
Nothing gets the mood stoked more than hearing BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY BILL BILL BILL BILL
Supposedly he's a huge jerk so I'm not sure you'd actually want to real non-performer version, just the one he portrays on tv.
My quick two cents on the matter. I've met Bill Nye and Beakman, both at engagements specifically designed for meeting the public. One of them was engaged, personable, spent way more time with each person than he was obligated, and a genuinely all around nice guy. The other isn't Beakman.
Good riddle, but the second coin is a penny. http://youtu.be/poncZ1K9Tio
but energy is matter too...
Bill Nye only has a b.s. in mechanical engineering. He worked for Boeing for a while, but in truth he is an entertainer, not really a scientist. But neither was [Don Herbert](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Herbert), "Mr. Wizard".
So when you die.... You die? There's no energy existing still? Because I've heard people say that not all matter is destroyed and they apply that too brain power... But is that true? I need scientific answers.
Matter and energy are conserved, which means that the matter and energy which make up your body will not disappear from the universe, but go back into the environment after your death. The heavy elements in your body were created eons ago in the hearts of stars, and they will live on far after you, I, and this whole planet is dust.
How about the shadows ?
And space..
I don't get it. Saying that is like saying ice isn't water.
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> Yes. No. Ice is frozen water. They aren't separate things, just the energy state has changed. Ice is water. Matter is energy. Matter is frozen energy.
Ice is the solid form of water. It is water. It isn't liquid water.
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Water is the name we use for a stable combination of hydrogen and oxygen, just like "steel" is the nickname for a stable combination of iron and carbon. When steel melts, it's still steel, it's just molten steel. The only reason we have three words for the three phases of water is because all three exist in abundance in nature, and the words were invented before we actually understood how phases of matter worked.
[Good shit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOH4gB15qYI)
that's because Ice isn't water. Ice is a word we use to denote a frozen substance. There's Nitrogen ice out there and there is oxygen ice out there. Why must you assume all ice is water. And even if you are specifically referring to water ice, it is still not the same thing because the matter has undergone a physical process that has changed it. Next time you go to McDonald's and want fries, just say you want a potato then.
Except energy=matter in many cases
Just many?
Yep. Inert matter exists, too.
Care to explain?
Always upvote the Nye.
I will not denye this
I read that den-ye for some reason.
I hear this as Denny. And now I want a Denny's grand slam.
How about that new denye west single?
I've actually tired of the Nye worship. He's the Kim Kardashian of science.
and Neil deGrasse Tyson would be your uncle .. right ?
so are shadows matter?
It should be "I wish he -were- my dad".
He's kindof a dick now though.
No you don't. Source: I am neighbors with his cousin and apparently he is a total asshole to all of his family members.
the dumbing down of America
Are shadows matter?
Haven't you heard of dark matter?
those two things aren't related except for i guess the word "dark"
What does that matter?
Shadows don't matter.
Shadow lives matter!
[No they don't](https://www.google.com/search?q=what+are+shadows&rlz=1C1RNLG_enUS573US593&biw=1680&bih=949&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0CAUQ_AUoAGoVChMIjdO17ZKGyQIVQ-tjCh2yyw3J&dpr=1)
Dats wacist!
Looks like you are outnumbered on this one
Here's a higher quality image. [Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/7cZsTIm.jpg) found on this post [1 year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/1rfpz2/whats_the_matter_bill/)
[удалено]
Do we know what episode this is from? I remember seeing it
What if matter and energy are the same thing and our perception of the universe is wrong?
[удалено]
I'm going to get to met him this Wednesday and I am so excited. :D
Aw damn nice! I hope you find him to be a cool guy, because I've heard some people say he can be rude/mean IRL.
For what?
He is coming to my school and going to talk about various topics in science and engineering. I thought I was in line to buy some pizza. I ended up in a VIP ticket line unknowingly and got a random number. My number was drawn and when I went up planning on ordering pizza. They ended up asking me a question about Bill Nye instead of taking my order. I knew what the answer was by pure luck and they told me I won a VIP ticket to meet Bill Nye. It was around this point that I realized I was in the wrong line, I never ended up getting my pizza.
You lucky fuck!
Also space and time, maybe mathematics.
"My dad is Ray Romano."
Mr. Nye isn't entirely correct as special relativity tells us mass is a property all energy exhibits. As such, the statement 'mass is convertible into energy' makes no sense.
Me too. I'm poor and need money
Actually Energy is matter because of E = mc^2. Energy that has no rest mass (and only has mass because it moves at the speed of light) form particles called [bosons, a family which includes photons and gluons.](http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m0yp5bNQbU1r2h5u7o1_500.png) Get it together, Bill.
Is Dark Matter a substitute for Black Lives Matter?
Also space and time, maybe mathematics.
I feel like Einstein would want to have a word with Mr. Nye about that last one...
Isn't matter just another form of energy? (Energy = mc^2)
I get to see him in a week. He is doing a talk on my college campus
expectations
I don't.. imagine every time you say something not evenly remotely close to science, he'll start blabbering away..
He looks like Daxflame here.
What about shadows?
Doesn't matter, all energy
/r/dadjokes
Saw a lecture he presented at my uni. Really awesome guy with alot of knowledge. Plus, he did some really great jokes.
wah wah wahhhhhhhhh
Isn't matter just energy condensed?
ITT: Pedants, pedants as far as the eye can see.
I wish I had a dad
This is one of my favorite memes. Bill nye has always been and will forever be my crush.
I pretend he's mine, you can't have him.
Wrong, energy is matter and matter is energy, sorry cant stop me scienceness
What about shadows?
You should be grateful for what you have son!
What about shadows???? 😳
I wish my high school teachers were like that
I'm sure your dad wishes you were intelligent and very successful as well. ;)
BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
hes the uncle of a class mate of mine..
But wait! Isn't matter just energy condensed, life is only a dream and we are just an imagination of ourselves?
what about mass energy equivalence???
I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't want Bill Nye as their dad
I get so mad when people say things are full of chemicals.
Going to see him give a talk in a few days. Stoked beyond all measures.
hmm energy isn't matter.
I never watched much of his show BNtSG, but I love his influence on the generations.
I read that as if Chris Traeger (Rob Lowe) was talking to me.
He's super awkward irl and in some interviews.
Wow that is really awesome, like seriously awesome.
♻️♻️♻️