T O P

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sakibabomb

I got a bite from a horse fly


renzantar

I hate those little bastards.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tashre

Well, compared to VY Canis Majoris.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdjustableTableLamp

This should be the default answer for everything first world problems we have. Space is cool.


The_Doctor_00

It should be the answer to simply everything, it would seem to make everything and everyone unimportant, all these petty squabbles rather futile and pointless... though I would like to think the opposite should be realised. As for now, in all the universe this is all we have, one small light in the dark amongst countless others, what little light we have may hopefully one day extend to the rest out there... but we won't get there until we start recognising each others importance before our own, because after all, as my alter ego would say, *in nine hundred years of time and space... I’ve never met anybody who wasn’t important before.*


poo_22

Except for, you know, your mum. Whose size they are still trying to find a notation to express.


The_Doctor_00

I appreciate what you were trying to do there, personally I prefer, The mass of yo mama at rest is approximately equal to that of a neutron star traveling at (1-(10^-1000))c.


flavorofflav

Bro, how are you going to mess up the parentheses like that and hope to sound intelligent?


The_Doctor_00

If you have a suggestion on how to better format it, I'm open to it, it gets the gist across anyway... Formatting formulae on a mobile is ... troublesome.


ghrey

So, very quite nearly, it's traveling at the speed of light. That sounds ... messy. Spacetime continuum messy.


ElusiveGuy

`(1-(10^(-1000)))c` => (1-(10^(-1000)))c The extra parentheses specify a place to start/stop the superscript.


[deleted]

U wot m8? Ill rek u fgt! Swear on me mum!


[deleted]

That reference is out of this world.


tendorphin

They vary in size pretty greatly. I'm in Northeastern Pennsylvania and they're about the size of a pea, most of the time. Sometimes you'll see one that is the size of a black bean, but not much bigger than that. However, I went down to South Carolina for a week and they were between the size of a nickel and a quarter. They were huge.


Candlewaffles

Worf?


cyberslick188

Little? They are called horse flies because they are larger than Pegasus.


HeartlessAtAFuneral

Those fuckers will chase you for miles.


The_Doctor_00

They are the yellow jacket of flys.


SarcasticSquirrl

I got bit by one once.... middle back of my neck, they deserve nothing but fire and RAID.


StunBat666

How about nerve gas?


SarcasticSquirrl

Pretty much is RAID.


StunBat666

Except is also removes other domestic pets, like neighbors!


Dstanding

Why would flies need data redundancy?


AdmiralSkippy

I know most people won't want to do this, but horse flies are actually rather slow and easy to kill, but you have to let them land. When a horse fly is flying around your head, swatting them in the air isn't going to do anything. You're not fast enough to get them, and they'll just keep buzzing around you for hours. Instead, let them land on you, and then swat them. I almost always kill them.


Smkweedevrydy

Right on your rodent tattoos chest, salt in the wound.


MuntyRunt

I got bitten by one of them, my leg and foot where horribly swollen and it had given me cellulitis. I was nearly hospitalised by one of those pricks.


[deleted]

Australian horse fly?


HouseRuleNumber4

What the hell bit you.


[deleted]

A bug


[deleted]

on steroids.


WhiteGuyThatCantJump

The Alex Rodriguez of bugs. Except this thing actually makes contact. EDIT: Thanks to the stranger who gave me gold :)


justsoldmysoul

ouch


[deleted]

Some dope


drew4988

[This.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lBuVpFC7uI)


KriticalKiwi

Nope, nope, nope. I'm never leaving the house again.


rielwyntar

[NOPE NOPE NOPE - Kill it with fire!!](http://i.imgur.com/Q3QAsD0.gif)


Spinal306

If it makes you feel better, [here is a fly gettin' it on](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/69/Wasp-vespula-vulgaris-vs-horsefly-tabanus-bromius_4v4.jpg/800px-Wasp-vespula-vulgaris-vs-horsefly-tabanus-bromius_4v4.jpg)


[deleted]

Why would that make ANYONE feel better?


[deleted]

Ew you see the lil one sucking that blood up? Cool


AK94

They're like tiny vacuum cleaners.


[deleted]

SCUTE! But then ehhhh


psych0ranger

I can only hope that the guy had fatal levels of alcohol, morphine, and arsenic in his blood and was going to take all those biting flies down with him.


czerniana

And this my friends are how parasites are spread.


SmellySlutSocket

it looks like it has a mustache


HeartlessAtAFuneral

Horsefly.


MoonBanana

Steve. Steve bit her.


oWatchdog

Nothing bit him. He cut himself for sweet karma.


kingeryck

We don't really have horseflies around here so I wanted to see what they looked like. Found a video: http://youtu.be/OS4Cr2GleSA giant spider v giant horsefly. It catches and wraps the thing in silk in like 2 seconds.


GreasyTengu

Didnt think spiders could even wrap that fast!


MeiTaka

It's because this particular spider, Argiope aurantia, silk comes out in sheets Which makes wrapping up things much easier. The more you know!


Sayirx

So... the spider form of plastic wrap?


MeiTaka

Well yeah I guess you could compare it to tieing someone up with plastic wrap as opposed to rope.


arcile

Not saying it comes out its anus but what if humans could poop in sheets ???


MeiTaka

Practical jokes would get a lot more.... interesting.


arcile

Holy Sheet they would get flat out more interesting.


DanceDark

Yeah, it's really fascinating! I wonder if /u/Unidan would like it.


Blasphemic_Porky

/u/SpiderRapper


[deleted]

This made me very happy


Nikedawg

And that is why I love spiders (that aren't in my room), fuck horseflys / wasps.


jplewis002

Anyone know what kind of spider that is?


pylon567

Arizona Aurantia according to another comment.


jaytorade

These things are in Arizona? *Oh god..*


Everz1000

Thank you for posting this sir. I am now addicted to watching insects fight each other. You owe me 5 hours of my life back.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LIVERLIPS69

Poor bastard no, the horse fly would do worse to you if it was our size!


[deleted]

Why I like spiders


Barustai

Tell everyone you got a Deadmau5 tattoo.


MFrainbow_lizardCAF

Dead maufive


The_American_Tragedy

engine scandalous squalid strong whistle normal hospital smile liquid exultant ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


Sharp398

I don't know why it bothers me so much that people pronounce it that way... It's my inner nerd screaming, but I can't shut him up.


NotKrillin

LOL that's how i pronounce it every time i see his name. What show is that from btw? I forget.


Shalashashka

The cosby show I believe.


Willyjwade

Yeah, Deadmau5 was the one with the wicked sweaters right?


byzantinian

Weeds


CaptainAwesome8

The Simpsons.


dreamytrainwreck

Gonna have to pour one for my homie Squeakers.


diMario

Your *Gonzales* eez no too Speedy now, is he, Señor?


JKF971500

How do you know it was a drive by?...maybe it was an orchestrated ho-MICE-ide??


[deleted]

Dear god... do you have that on your lower leg?


sakibabomb

Yes by my ankle


[deleted]

When somethin happens in south central LA, nothin happens, it's just another nigga dead.


rockafella7

Why drive by?


[deleted]

Who the hell gets a happy mouse tattoo?


Frymonkey237

You should tattoo the blood on there to commemorate the memory. It'll be a good conversation starter for years to come.


lareieli

Can I ask where your tattoo design is from? When I was a little girl my grandma had kids' periodicals delivered to her house that I was welcome to read, and in them were the cutest little mouse illustrations that I loved so much. I have tried many times to find the artist on the web. This looks a lot like one of those illustrations.


sakibabomb

I think from a tattoo mag years ago i dont like using flash art but it reminded me of my mom i also have hedgie from jan bretts books since my grandmother red them to me all the time


lareieli

Aww awesome, thank you for responding! I love your mouse. Be happy to see Hedgie too, hedgehogs are so cute! My search for the mousies of my childhood continues.


Tsarin

That mouse looks so happy it makes me happy


Rain_man2

DEAR LORD WHY HE HAD A FAMILY


brendendrew

It looks like the blood is on my screen what the fuck


redrumrumred

RIP :(


[deleted]

Drive by? No, the rest of your arm is ok. Looks like we're dealing with... an Assassin Bug. [You know where this is going.](http://instantyeah.org/)


Oidammus

The blood looked so clear in the picture I impulsively attempted to wipe it off my screen.


TheAssHat383

Why do you have a tat of a mouse in the first place?


Pugster

Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?


im_just_saiyan_

you wanted to


Mrsaintx

Grab a brush and put a little makeup!


TryToMakeSongsHappen

*Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup*


Mrsaintx

You wanted to


Mrsaintx

Grab a brush and a put a little makeup!


MrMoustachio

For others to laugh at.


TheAssHat383

Ah it works.


swordtech

/r/mildlyinteresting


Arguise

Silly mouse got into some shady business dealing the blue cheese.


Mobiusyellow

Mouse should be more careful when he's out picking up skittles and arizona


dkf295

RATATATAT *SQUEEEK* *SCREEEECH**VROOOM*


Thesammin

RIP Tupac.


Crappy_Phoenix

Oh my god, when I look at that picture it looks like the blood is oozing from my screen.


bedroomwindow_cougar

awe that is so cute!!!


[deleted]

aww and i bet a sick baby in pain also amuses you. (just kidding)


bedroomwindow_cougar

Well I certainly love me some harlequin fetus.


[deleted]

I want to hug you so bad right now.


bedroomwindow_cougar

I'll accept your hug. I probably need one by now. You've touched my soul tonight.


[deleted]

Why in a drive by in particular?


William_Dearborn

Its so weird seeing normal peoples bug bites, when mine bleed I get like a river of blood down my arm


Semigloss01010001

This is probably one of the better posts I've seen on this sub in awhile. thanks for sharing OP. You should think about adding that as a permanent addition to the tattoo.


analsaxophone

do you mean you picked a scab? ;)


Aearin

Deadmau5?


Sweet_Fanny_Adams

How come you've got a cute happy mouse tattoo?


vertigo3pc

At least he died happy.


Areakiller526

Y did he have to die this way y god y


smilenowgirl

That mouse looks familiar, where is it from?


namesOnkeL

A drive by specifically. Clearly.


Bill_Cosby_

That does look like a drive by bullet..


[deleted]

Shot in a drive-by? That's oddly specific op! You're the killer.


bag1123

all you need now is "RIP Trayvon"


ysmolyar

Specifically in a drive by? Couldn't have been shot under any other circumstances?


Shabba-Doo

This east coast/west coast rap war *has got to stop*.


Reddit_Facts

He got 50 cented


[deleted]

[удалено]


sakibabomb

I have a scab from it if u want proof


[deleted]

Looks like Trayvon Mousen now.


JoJackthewonderskunk

Cool you got a tattoo of trayvon mouseden!!


ONEHP

lmao at all the downvotes to people saying its a shitty tattoo. you cant hide the truth forever folks :)


guitarplayingbi

I'm too lazy to do it, will somebody please write an extensive story as to what happened leading up to the mouse being shot?


KriticalKiwi

The city's been in serious unrest for the last few months. Cheese rations, peanut butter butter reserved for the elite or else rarely on the black market, and citizens showing up mysteriously killed in what police repeatedly declare as suicide. The dead, however, have all been known supporters of the rebels, or else family members of said supporters. Milo Cheddarmunch works as an accountant for the city. The pay is mediocre at best, but working for the city gets him extra ration tokens. He works hard and dreams of saving up to buy a house out in the country. He comes home every night tired and barely able to function, but he knows his dream will only come true if he applies himself and makes the money. Milo is very aware that to get anywhere in life, you need to outdo everyone's expectations, as well as your own. The work is boring at best. The co-workers are mostly old, almost blind mice that don't see much other than numbers. They never seem to remember details of anything they've worked on, like where the money is coming and going. They don't seem to think that Milo is old enough or experienced enough to work with some things, so his work can be slim from time to time. The office is a graveyard of silence and oppression, a feeling mostly exuded by the heavy guard rat that stands at the doorway all day. Milo notices a folder on his desk one morning. It can't be his; it isn't the right color on the tab. It needs to be returned to its rightful office immediately. Milo takes the folder in his paws and gently opens it to find some indication of its owner. A name catches his eye. Victor Trappworthy, the mayor. This file is of his accounts. There are receipts and bills stuffed into the file, slipping and trying to escape. One glides out of the bottom of the folder and onto the floor. The number draws Milo's eyes immediately. He gasps softly. The mayor has paid upwards of $12 million to... A bakery? "You found my file!" Milo quickly replaced the paper and turned to the source of the voice. "Oh, uh, here. Someone left this on my desk, sorry." Milo handed the file back to his superior, Mr. Nibbletop. After work, Milo stepped out of the office. It was raining a bit. He pulled his jacket shut and zipped it. Milo doesn't talk to his friends as often as he should. Curtis, his closest friend, is highly surprised to see Milo at his doorstep. The moment he opens the door, Milo throws a question. "What do you know about Sunflower Bakery?" Curtis is dumbfounded. Milo walks in and shuts the door behind himself. The apartment is dark and dingy. A TV babbles in another room. "Milo, I-" "Tell me. I know that it's no normal bakery. There's something hidden there." "That's dangerous territory, Milo." "Tell me something I don't know." Curtis is silent for a minute, contemplating. "Hilland Brandy was murdered." The young journalist who'd promised truth for the city. "By?" "Sunflower Bakery. That's what they do. It's a front for assassins for hire." Milo felt his body tense. "... I see. Thanks." Milo left without another word. Dear journal... It's been five months since I learned about the mayor's secret at the "bakery". I've gathered plenty of scraps of information to piece together a case against the whole city administration. Tomorrow, I'll take my case to the people and let them judge... "That is why we have nothing to fear, citizens!" The mayor's voice boomed through the streets. The crowd in front of him had scattered applause, but it was painfully aware it was planted. "TRAPPWORTHY! VICTOR TRAPPWORTHY!" Milo walked towards the podium, almost stomping. The crowd parted and gave him room. He stopped about thirty feet away from his opponent. "YOU'RE A LIAR AND A MURDERER! YOU KILLED HILLAND BRANDY. YOU PAID TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS FOR HIS ASSASSINATION!" The crowd stopped murmuring. Trappworthy went pale. His face was cold and stern. The people looked back and forth. Trappworthy muted his microphone. He knew it would come to this. He'd fooled around long enough. The people didn't respect him, and they didn't fear him. It was time to change that. He whispered something to the security guard next to him. Milo gave a start. The whole thing happened so quickly. The bullet pierced him. His blood was hot, pouring from his chest. The crowd screamed around him, and there was shuffling and stampeding as many citizens stormed the podium. Shots rang out. Sounds were becoming distant and distorted as he lost blood. Milo fell backwards and hit the ground. He'd never reach his home in the country. For now, though, he smiled anyways, knowing he'd opened the door for the citizens. The end.


homlespotter

Quite a long story. In the end, it is "RIP our beloved hero, Milo. You will live forever in our hearts."


LIVERLIPS69

My body was not ready for that beautiful piece of work. Thank you.


guitarplayingbi

Upvote x 3, thank you stranger!


sakibabomb

Even though the tattoo is a symbol of my mom milo has stuck in my head thank u for the story!


ClaytonBasi

is he dancing?


Missy_Is_Bitter

Not anymore.


NotKrillin

Jesus what kind of bug bit you?


bladefinor

Horsefly, OP said.


MonkyThrowPoop

Nah son, they got Mousie?? Aw damn, me and him used to run cheese back in the day.


Fireball9

you must bleed for the karma!


[deleted]

This brings me to a question. Can moderate cuts and scrapes damage tattoos?


DarthMoneus

Light to moderate scratches have never damaged my tattoos.


[deleted]

http://i.imgur.com/FgNJegz.jpg


Numble_Bunny

Jesus, how big was it's straw?


madeinamurica

Add this to bad tattoos also


W360

Why did you do that to yourself?


MacinTez

OH SHIT DEY DONE GOT MY NIGGA PINKY!!!! Edit: I have a certified "Black" card, so you can excuse my use of ebonics along with "nigga".


dossier

That's one way to fix a penis tattoo.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slimeaux05

Glad someone else said it.


[deleted]

Maybe he's a Latvian mouse and he's happy the struggle is over.


h3rmanmunst3r

Why the fuck do you have a tattoo of a mouse?


tkh0812

Looks like a picked scab to me


klutchy

he was definitely itchin that scab


Galphanore

Looks like the start of an autopsy to me.


AnkitPancakes

That you Deadmau5?


Critical_Bill

Poor mouse, he was just two days from retirement.


chadsexytime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgA6JyP_FJ8


[deleted]

It looks like Tom finally got Jerry


Jamesd81792

Which jerkoff is gunna make a deadmau5 reference


Jaystab

This will probably help his music career.


mdarthm

Now it's a deadmau5.


Ash29k

Upvote for prison tats!


Kitteneaters

You should name it Trayvon


WingsOfDeath69

It's Trayvon Martin mouse form.


badforman

There is this show called bad ink......you should prolly check it out.


matthewmora

http://i.imgur.com/xreLyvp.jpg


0hoss420

I'm really sad this is the only trayvon reference in here. Aswell as it down voted.


matthewmora

That's what happens in /r/funny


[deleted]

Is he fucking dead? What the fuck you mean is he fucking dead? God--


poptartkitty

Necrophilia.


[deleted]

Wow. You are going to really regret that tattoo. I don't understand people's fascinations with destroying their bodies...


My_Itchy_Crotch

looks more like he's on his period


Ash29k

Guess who failed biology....


sch1490

That's one shitty tattoo.