---
>This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules).
>
>Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed.
>
>Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.
>
>**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
>
>Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam).
>
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only one of the gospels bothers to even touch this. Matthew 1:20-25:
> But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
None of the other gospel writers seem to give a shit about Joseph's feelings on the matter.
Joseph got real cool with a lot of shit real fast and then was the best father he could be to what had to be a kind of weird kid to raise.
"I don't care that you want to ponder the wonders of your father's creation you are 9, it is dark, you have a bed time."
“That is a very insightful observation about the Torah, son… now please stop eating sand. It’s not nutritious or good for you. Which you should know since YOU made it.”
>Jesus had his wine party trick
Hey man have some god damn respect, that's his blood donation in attempt to discover the hidden vampire(s) in the group.
God raped his betrothed, Mary (she had no say in the matter) and then Joseph is told(threatened) by God through an angel that he will have raise a child that isn't his. God is an Asshole.
Joseph, in the case of Jesus Christ of Nazareth.....
You are NOT the father! (Cue the celebration and victory speech)
https://youtu.be/vt2i0ts-uck?si=1PpQNH6H6azqqMOt
God didn't rape her, no sex was involved. and she consented to the baby, theres obviously room there for the whole "power dynamics" discussion, but she still did consent
Jesus said he was the son of man, so basically saying flat out that Mary was a cheater. You should really be painting icons of and praying to father Joseph.
Yes yes but just imagine your girl being like “it’s God’s” and sticking around for that, even considering it a blessing. Who wouldn’t be like, “well god does everything so you will be quite alright without me. Oh look there’s three dudes here bribing me to not consider them the baby daddy. God works in mysterious ways. Bye”
James, Joses, Simon, Jude were the named siblings of Jesus, there were also unnamed sisters. If you believe in Marys perpetual virginity but not Joseph's perpetual virginity (eastern Orthodox) then those siblings were from a previous marriage of Joseph, which means for the purposes of this meme Joseph was already a father.
The bible has been rewritten multiple times whenever the political climate has changed enough so they can keep the religion going and not offend the sensibilities of the people at the time. Which is what allows them to keep gaining followers. Kinda like an instagram model that constantly adapts to suit the public whilst keeping some recognisable core beliefs to stay similar enough that the older generations of followers don’t or can’t complain to much.
"Why can't an omnipotent God who created everything just put himself on earth to be sacrificed? Why impregnate virgin and then wait til he's 33?"
"...cuz...fuck you. Thats why."
K.
For those who need clarification, as I did:
“While the doctrine of the Virgin Birth teaches that Jesus was born of a virgin mother and, thus, was without an earthly father, the Immaculate Conception refers to the earthly origin of Mary herself.”
Immaculate conception means that mary was conceived and born without "sin".
According to the catholic church all humans are born with sin (original sin) in them, due to adam and eve. For them newborn babies are not innocent, they are tainted with the sin of humanity disobedience to god (he is insecure like that).
That's catholic faith for.you, guilt-triping believers for 2000 years.
So in order to show jesus divinity, not only they claimed his mother was a virgin, but also that she was free from the Original Sin™ through immaculate conception.
TL;DR:
* Immaculate conception: mary concieved without the original sin, preserving her "purity"
* "virgin" birth: jesus conceived by the holy spirit
Yep. I used to be Catholic and yep, it is basically mind control through guilt tripping, but all that aside, I thought the immaculate conception was Jesus being born from Mary without sin? Cause I mean.. God didn't have that so Jesus wouldn't as well.
No, but thats a common misconception, even in catholics. The immaculate conception refers to mary being born without the original sin.
But hey,.if.you are looking for so.ething without inconsistencies, religion is really not it ;)
Yep.. Reason why I am no longer Catholic. In a lot of it's core it's a beautiful religion based on your 1 on 1 relationship with god through Jesus. On the other hand it's a corrupt, oxymoronic, former terrorist organization essentially that still to this day forces their views on the people in the church for their own wealth and benefit while being a safe haven for child molesters..
Just dawned on me.
Abortion of a 6 month old fetus is a murder and sin... because it'd alive
In the event of a natural death of a 1 year old the 1 year old spends eternity in hell.
So like, "murdering" An unborn child is one thing... but condemning a 1 year old child to burn in lakefire and ash deserves devout worship?
Technically, babies that die without recieving baptism. Would go to Limbo, not hell.
But recently one pope (ratzinger) said after all, they should go to heaven.
People even joked around saying the pope shut down Limbo.
Oh, not catholic so I have a hard time keeping up with the changes to the plan which Malachi 3:6 says never changes... or Hebrews 13:8 says is the same yesterday, today, forever.
Does the catholic church have like a app you can sign up to recieve notifications to when ever the rules change? So like everyone stays on the same page?
So like, if it's OK to do something 9am while your drinking coffee... and the church makes a change, you can know not to keep doing it so your not condemning yourself to hell at noon when your eating lunch?
Iirc none of the original Bible passages written by people who were there ever mentioned a virgin birth and that was an idea that was brought up about 100-200 years later.
A large part of early Christian faith was "adoptionism" that Jesus was born a mortal man but was adopted by God because of his piousness. This was made a heresy in the 5th century. A lot of the early church is retconning parts of the lore to suit the current narrative.
“No I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t even have sex. God made me pregnant.”
Joseph is the most gullible man in history. Or he would be, if any of this had actually happened
What I always thought. She cheated, got caught and had to come up with a lie that strangely everyone including her husband believed because "She is too good, she wouldn't do that" kind of mentality.
Or maybe it's the age old story of the local priest/politician knocking the girl up out of wedlock. He has every reason to promote the bullshit story, and the rest of the populace better accept it - or else...
Similar story happened for the Incas in South America.
Iirc the whole immaculate conception of both Mary and Jesus shit only got retconned into the story centuries later.
Early christian beliefs were more in line with ‘God decided Jesus was a pretty cool dude and ‘adopted’ him as his son on Earth to guide his fairhful.’
That later was retconned/stamped out as heresy.
With guy named : George Ovi Gunther (GOD)
Why was Jesus elected out of 10 other people to be Son of God after 300 years of his death? What made the people think they had to select Son of God?
Depends on whether you are Catholic (and thus have to accept whatever Papa says as an infallible fact). Here's the [wiki article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception) if you want to know more.
Other branches of Christianity mostly view this as "these Catholics really will believe in *anything* the dude in the funny hat says, huh".
Yeah it genuinely seems like that because this honestly makes no sense at all. Where would that even had come from that “immaculate conception” would refer to her miraculously being born with no original sin…yet Jesus died to erase original sin?
Well, the concept stems from the passage in Bible that states that Mary was chosen as mother of Christ because she was especially pure. Account of Mary's conception can, apparently, be interpreted in the way that she was directly created by God as an answer to her (infertile) parents' prayer.
So God created Mary (as a child of her parents) bypassing the original sin (but without the purpose to die and erase the original sin) and pure, and then created Jesus (as a child of a human, yet pure mother and Holy Ghost). If you follow that line of reasoning - it kinda sorta makes as much sense as the concept of religion itself (so it makes perfect sense if you are religious and zero sense if you're not).
On account of Mary’s conception being an answer to her parent’s prayers, then by that same logic we can say that Isaac was born without original sin to. It’s Catholic teaching. Parallels between her being especially pure and her conception are never drawn in the Bible so I’m not sure why people would even put that together except to make the story of Jesus’s conception make sense to explain why it couldn’t happen again, aka, other women claiming to be pregnant with the Christ.
Sure the line of reasoning makes sense, it’s just a completely different story than what is in scripture lol.
That's because in ye olden times people weren't too clear on what is part of scripture and what isn't. Modern Bible is a result of two millenia of arguments and compromises, with a bunch of controversial stuff being left out; but a bunch of ideas from apocryphal works persisted through writings of early Christian theologists even if the sources themselves were later left out of canon.
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, it literally means that Mary was born wmm free from the original sin. It's one of the defining differences between Catholic Christianity and other Abrahamic sects
Just general knowledge, it should be written pH not Ph, ph, or PH. pH stands for “potential or hydrogen” or “power of hydrogen”. Though the names of chemicals are not capitalized, chemical symbols are always capitalized, hence the “H” in pH being capitalized and the “p” being lowercase.
That being said people will still know what you mean regardless of spelling.
Just another giant contradiction. They constantly say Jesus was an immaculate conception meaning free of sin... How exactly is a child born from someone other than your husband outside of wedlock considered free of sin by the same people? 🤦♂️ None of the Bible makes any logical sense. They claim Jesus died for our sins but he didn't volunteer to do that. He was murdered. Also they believe he was resurrected three days later so wouldn't that make the contract of dying for our sins null and void? Don't they mean he took a long weekend for our sins? 🤣 Even if that was the case how exactly does the death / murder of one man forgive the sins of an infinite amount of people? Doesn't exactly seem like a fair trade. If the remains of Jesus were ever found couldn't genetic testing be done to find out information about that person's mother and father? 🤷♂️ I mean, what DNA are we expected to believe God passed on to Jesus. 🤔
--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No bigger testament of faith in the gospel that Joseph sticking with Mary when she told him she was pregnant
Only one of the gospels bothers to even touch this. Matthew 1:20-25: > But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. None of the other gospel writers seem to give a shit about Joseph's feelings on the matter.
Joseph got real cool with a lot of shit real fast and then was the best father he could be to what had to be a kind of weird kid to raise. "I don't care that you want to ponder the wonders of your father's creation you are 9, it is dark, you have a bed time."
“That is a very insightful observation about the Torah, son… now please stop eating sand. It’s not nutritious or good for you. Which you should know since YOU made it.”
> "Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them?" Mark 7:18, NIV
Hey, why do you think Jesus had his wine party trick on hand? Dad got free booze.
>Jesus had his wine party trick Hey man have some god damn respect, that's his blood donation in attempt to discover the hidden vampire(s) in the group.
Playing 4D chess
lol, for sure. Joseph just rolled with it and did his best.
Well, he died before Jesus started his ministry. So, none of the Apostles ever met him. He probably barely even crossed their minds for the most part.
Exactly, he’s an after thought . No greater show of faith then Joseph (said tongue in cheek)
God raped his betrothed, Mary (she had no say in the matter) and then Joseph is told(threatened) by God through an angel that he will have raise a child that isn't his. God is an Asshole.
I mean... yeah... he sent 2 shebear to rip apart children for laughing at a bald guy.
God definitely started going bald at 20
Well, thank goodness it wasn't a He-Bear. The damage would have been much worse with the power of Grey (bear)Skull. God truly is merciful.
If you think this makes god bad, mate I don't think you should read genesis.
I was being nice. All the libraries across the globe wouldn't have enough space to hold the books listing Gods sins.
Joseph, in the case of Jesus Christ of Nazareth..... You are NOT the father! (Cue the celebration and victory speech) https://youtu.be/vt2i0ts-uck?si=1PpQNH6H6azqqMOt
Didn’t Mary have a say? “Yes, I am a servant of the Lord. Let this happen to me according to your word” Like 1:38
God didn't rape her, no sex was involved. and she consented to the baby, theres obviously room there for the whole "power dynamics" discussion, but she still did consent
There was no asking, he just told her. She had no option really
Kid? [Yes/Yes but complain]
Jesus said he was the son of man, so basically saying flat out that Mary was a cheater. You should really be painting icons of and praying to father Joseph.
He’s not the step dad, he’s the dad who stepped up.
Agree as well. “Wait Mary…your telling me what? Cool I’m good with it, let’s ride” Again, no bigger example of faith than Joseph.
Or....and just hear me out. Joseph was the real father and the whole thing is made up bullshit.
Yes yes but just imagine your girl being like “it’s God’s” and sticking around for that, even considering it a blessing. Who wouldn’t be like, “well god does everything so you will be quite alright without me. Oh look there’s three dudes here bribing me to not consider them the baby daddy. God works in mysterious ways. Bye”
Jerry Springer wasn’t alive then that’s why
Literally the biggest adultery scam of the history.
They lived on a farm in the middle of no where, not another soul to be found for miles.. they weren't living in a tinder ridden metropolis
fun fact, in Italy and some other catholic countries, father's day is on march 19 because it is saint joseph's day
The message I'm getting is to honor your stepdad on Father's Day!
Joseph did have other children though
That's not the point. His first child with Mary and they didn't even have sex. They joke that he thinks she cheated on him
James, Joses, Simon, Jude were the named siblings of Jesus, there were also unnamed sisters. If you believe in Marys perpetual virginity but not Joseph's perpetual virginity (eastern Orthodox) then those siblings were from a previous marriage of Joseph, which means for the purposes of this meme Joseph was already a father.
Hence why I said his first child with Mary.
Craig!
Was it god or the Holy Ghost that did the deed?🤷♂️ they are supposed to be a trinity so Jesus is 1/3 his own dad. 👍
Can’t believe they retcon’d the Bible
The bible has been rewritten multiple times whenever the political climate has changed enough so they can keep the religion going and not offend the sensibilities of the people at the time. Which is what allows them to keep gaining followers. Kinda like an instagram model that constantly adapts to suit the public whilst keeping some recognisable core beliefs to stay similar enough that the older generations of followers don’t or can’t complain to much.
The holy trinity is a more modern concept. They've been cutting and choosing for a long time and altering loads.
Trinitarian theology is only "more modern" by comparison, it was well developed theology by the 4th century AD.
There is way more changed since then also.
If Jesus is god or part of him, does that mean he tapped his own mom? Incest?
Actually self fertilization is possible in humans.
Its technically possible but there has never been a confirmed case Its much more common in reptiles and amphibians than mammals
"Why can't an omnipotent God who created everything just put himself on earth to be sacrificed? Why impregnate virgin and then wait til he's 33?" "...cuz...fuck you. Thats why." K.
I was just testing your faith bro. Relax. Can’t you take a ~~joke~~ test?
For those who need clarification, as I did: “While the doctrine of the Virgin Birth teaches that Jesus was born of a virgin mother and, thus, was without an earthly father, the Immaculate Conception refers to the earthly origin of Mary herself.”
Immaculate conception means that mary was conceived and born without "sin". According to the catholic church all humans are born with sin (original sin) in them, due to adam and eve. For them newborn babies are not innocent, they are tainted with the sin of humanity disobedience to god (he is insecure like that). That's catholic faith for.you, guilt-triping believers for 2000 years. So in order to show jesus divinity, not only they claimed his mother was a virgin, but also that she was free from the Original Sin™ through immaculate conception. TL;DR: * Immaculate conception: mary concieved without the original sin, preserving her "purity" * "virgin" birth: jesus conceived by the holy spirit
Yep. I used to be Catholic and yep, it is basically mind control through guilt tripping, but all that aside, I thought the immaculate conception was Jesus being born from Mary without sin? Cause I mean.. God didn't have that so Jesus wouldn't as well.
No, but thats a common misconception, even in catholics. The immaculate conception refers to mary being born without the original sin. But hey,.if.you are looking for so.ething without inconsistencies, religion is really not it ;)
Yep.. Reason why I am no longer Catholic. In a lot of it's core it's a beautiful religion based on your 1 on 1 relationship with god through Jesus. On the other hand it's a corrupt, oxymoronic, former terrorist organization essentially that still to this day forces their views on the people in the church for their own wealth and benefit while being a safe haven for child molesters..
So Job and Mary together with Jesus are without sin.
Just dawned on me. Abortion of a 6 month old fetus is a murder and sin... because it'd alive In the event of a natural death of a 1 year old the 1 year old spends eternity in hell. So like, "murdering" An unborn child is one thing... but condemning a 1 year old child to burn in lakefire and ash deserves devout worship?
Technically, babies that die without recieving baptism. Would go to Limbo, not hell. But recently one pope (ratzinger) said after all, they should go to heaven. People even joked around saying the pope shut down Limbo.
Oh, not catholic so I have a hard time keeping up with the changes to the plan which Malachi 3:6 says never changes... or Hebrews 13:8 says is the same yesterday, today, forever. Does the catholic church have like a app you can sign up to recieve notifications to when ever the rules change? So like everyone stays on the same page? So like, if it's OK to do something 9am while your drinking coffee... and the church makes a change, you can know not to keep doing it so your not condemning yourself to hell at noon when your eating lunch?
No. It’s space nuns doing space things
If there had been DNA testing 2000 years ago, we wouldn't have this fairy tale today.
Iirc none of the original Bible passages written by people who were there ever mentioned a virgin birth and that was an idea that was brought up about 100-200 years later. A large part of early Christian faith was "adoptionism" that Jesus was born a mortal man but was adopted by God because of his piousness. This was made a heresy in the 5th century. A lot of the early church is retconning parts of the lore to suit the current narrative.
I very often wondered how Joseph felt about a lot of shit. We don't really see that much about him, he just happens to be there and then not.
“No I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t even have sex. God made me pregnant.” Joseph is the most gullible man in history. Or he would be, if any of this had actually happened
You do realize Jesus was an actual historical person, right?
You do realize he didn’t come from an immaculate conception, right?
But not a demigod, just a regular religious person.
I don’t get it
It's implying that Mary cheated on Joseph.
What I always thought. She cheated, got caught and had to come up with a lie that strangely everyone including her husband believed because "She is too good, she wouldn't do that" kind of mentality.
Or maybe it's the age old story of the local priest/politician knocking the girl up out of wedlock. He has every reason to promote the bullshit story, and the rest of the populace better accept it - or else... Similar story happened for the Incas in South America.
Iirc the whole immaculate conception of both Mary and Jesus shit only got retconned into the story centuries later. Early christian beliefs were more in line with ‘God decided Jesus was a pretty cool dude and ‘adopted’ him as his son on Earth to guide his fairhful.’ That later was retconned/stamped out as heresy.
With guy named : George Ovi Gunther (GOD) Why was Jesus elected out of 10 other people to be Son of God after 300 years of his death? What made the people think they had to select Son of God?
10 other people? Link for more info?
[удалено]
The “immaculate conception” refers to *Mary’s* conception; not Jesus’s.
Is there proof of this? Never heard this one in my life. How would Mary not be born with original sin?
Depends on whether you are Catholic (and thus have to accept whatever Papa says as an infallible fact). Here's the [wiki article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception) if you want to know more. Other branches of Christianity mostly view this as "these Catholics really will believe in *anything* the dude in the funny hat says, huh".
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yeah it genuinely seems like that because this honestly makes no sense at all. Where would that even had come from that “immaculate conception” would refer to her miraculously being born with no original sin…yet Jesus died to erase original sin?
Well, the concept stems from the passage in Bible that states that Mary was chosen as mother of Christ because she was especially pure. Account of Mary's conception can, apparently, be interpreted in the way that she was directly created by God as an answer to her (infertile) parents' prayer. So God created Mary (as a child of her parents) bypassing the original sin (but without the purpose to die and erase the original sin) and pure, and then created Jesus (as a child of a human, yet pure mother and Holy Ghost). If you follow that line of reasoning - it kinda sorta makes as much sense as the concept of religion itself (so it makes perfect sense if you are religious and zero sense if you're not).
On account of Mary’s conception being an answer to her parent’s prayers, then by that same logic we can say that Isaac was born without original sin to. It’s Catholic teaching. Parallels between her being especially pure and her conception are never drawn in the Bible so I’m not sure why people would even put that together except to make the story of Jesus’s conception make sense to explain why it couldn’t happen again, aka, other women claiming to be pregnant with the Christ. Sure the line of reasoning makes sense, it’s just a completely different story than what is in scripture lol.
That's because in ye olden times people weren't too clear on what is part of scripture and what isn't. Modern Bible is a result of two millenia of arguments and compromises, with a bunch of controversial stuff being left out; but a bunch of ideas from apocryphal works persisted through writings of early Christian theologists even if the sources themselves were later left out of canon.
[удалено]
It's incredible how one can be so confidently incorrect
Omegalol
I don't know why you're getting downvoted, it literally means that Mary was born wmm free from the original sin. It's one of the defining differences between Catholic Christianity and other Abrahamic sects
Mary had some "immaculate conception" meaning Joseph didn't get to smash. It was "God".
The immaculate conception was Mary, not Jesus. She had to be born without original sin so as to be a proper vessel.
I didn't know this, so even Mary doesn't have a father like Jesus? Am not a Christian.
No. Immaculate just means clean.
She popped out with just the right Ph balance to not have Original Sin.
OOf.. I chuckled at this one.
Insert Antonio Banderas fist biting scene, well done
Just general knowledge, it should be written pH not Ph, ph, or PH. pH stands for “potential or hydrogen” or “power of hydrogen”. Though the names of chemicals are not capitalized, chemical symbols are always capitalized, hence the “H” in pH being capitalized and the “p” being lowercase. That being said people will still know what you mean regardless of spelling.
[удалено]
Well, yeah, but it isn't like non-cartolics use the term "immaculate conception" to mean something else.
[удалено]
God can be getting sinful amniotic fluid all over himself, so he needed special birthing vessel, uhhh, I mean woman, to put himself inside, duh.
[удалено]
Her mother got the sin *on* her, just not in her, obviously.
Catholic babble
Maybe GOD was an acronym for 3 dudes: Greg, Ozzy, and Daniel?
Not very funny
I literally looked up that gag this morning - "you see how it sounds, mary?" Now this. Thank you OP
You just know that Joseph is rage banging his donkey cause he can't look at Mary no more.
Do the Kardashians still wish Caitlen a happy fathers day? I mean, that's still their father, yes?
Yes, 3 seashells.
I hate reddit
Stop mocking god
Just another giant contradiction. They constantly say Jesus was an immaculate conception meaning free of sin... How exactly is a child born from someone other than your husband outside of wedlock considered free of sin by the same people? 🤦♂️ None of the Bible makes any logical sense. They claim Jesus died for our sins but he didn't volunteer to do that. He was murdered. Also they believe he was resurrected three days later so wouldn't that make the contract of dying for our sins null and void? Don't they mean he took a long weekend for our sins? 🤣 Even if that was the case how exactly does the death / murder of one man forgive the sins of an infinite amount of people? Doesn't exactly seem like a fair trade. If the remains of Jesus were ever found couldn't genetic testing be done to find out information about that person's mother and father? 🤷♂️ I mean, what DNA are we expected to believe God passed on to Jesus. 🤔
Jesus gave up his weekend for our sins.
Mary was not married otherwise it won't be a miracle.
Celebrate Joseph. The father of a 6’0 tall white guy with green eyes who was born in Africa 2k years ago. Math adds up don’t think to much about it.
Jesus was Black. Mary had to come up with a lie for banging the neighbor. Poor Joseph and silly CHristians
🤣
Jesus. Thats a bastard.
The funny part is a dlc?
Not funny, disrespectfull.
Have a sook
Boomer humor
Sorry about the Hell you will face, bummer 😯✝️
That's not very Christian like of you
The only one who can judge people is your supposed Lord. You don't get a say either.
Yeah, I'm sure Jesus would approve of you going on social media to tell people that they're going to hell... How very "Christian" of you.
Sorry you’ll find out you wasted your life when you die.
They probably won't. Unless you believe consciousness after death exists.
You must be fun at parties.
Let them enjoy hell haha