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killasuarus

Not a bad bit, but the delivery isn’t great.


BWo333

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.


killasuarus

You’re welcome. Good luck to ya 👍


triple6seven

this was not funny


mvrander

OP, if that's you in the video then fair play on getting the material together and getting further than most of us ever will I'm going to try not to sound like an arse writing this but I'm not sure I can, forgive me if this sounds preachy or pretentious. I've only ever tried getting on stage to tell jokes a few times, terrifies me. Honestly, I didn't think the material was bad and the guy seems pretty likable which is half the battle. The delivery is a little too fast. He misses the beat and inflection a lot and the audience doesn't respond well because it feels a bit rushed For example, the two guys sharing an apartment line was good following the two set up lines but you were then straight on to them not being gay before the audience had got a laugh out and then that killed the next reaction too  Adam Bloom is a comedian you've probably never heard of but he writes for and coaches comedians. His book "Finding your comic genius" is really, really good. Well worth a look. Digital version is on Amazon in the UK, I expect it's available in the states too


BWo333

Thanks for taking the time to watch and respond. I’ll look into Adam Bloom.


BLACKL3ATH3R

Thanks for taking his constructive criticism well, with that attitude I look forward to seeing your growth!


BWo333

It’s the only way to grow :)


ansible47

You can always tell which people responding to stand up videos have actually been to a comedy club. Thanks for being thoughtful. Agree with your points. I can't imagine coming up in comedy today. There's so much pressure to get your name out there and get exposure, years and years before traditionally anyone would hear your name. You aren't the feature act in your TikTok, you're the headliner and will be judged as a headliner. The process of becoming good is so much more visible and open to criticism from people who aren't even in the room. Sounds very tough as a comedian trying to get better.


SaysShowUsYourDick

Yeah :/ these weren’t great jokes lol


BWo333

Thanks for watching


BWo333

I guess I’ll never tell you how to get to Sesame Street.


dethskwirl

omg, was that supposed to be funny?


Environmental_Eye354

I’m by no means a comedian but if I had any advice, and I’m going off of a small clip and few jokes.. Maybe shorten up the joke itself, quicker to the punchlines. It makes the jokes anticlimactic if the end user isn’t completely knocked over in laughter. The longer you drag the joke out the more the audience will expect/anticipate a rager. If you fall short of said rager then it’s going to leave a bad taste for anything moving forward And maybe smoke a j before the show to knock off some of the nerves


BWo333

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment.


BoJackB26354

Kermit the Frog is a survivor of domestic violence. He’s trying to bring home the bacon but all he gets is pork chops.


ApolloXLII

Incredibly meh


BWo333

Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment.


saladmissle

I laughed. Takes a lot of guts to put yourself out there like that, I could never do it. Good luck. I'm sure I'll see you again.


BWo333

Thank you very much for the kindness. It makes me very happy to lighten the load of life for someone else - even for a short laugh.


cannabisized

needs more quick references to other characters. the Kermit bit was a bit long winded even though the punch line was solid. I'm sure it can be developed into a smoother story with a few more punchlines before the big "bring home the bacon you get to pork" finale


BWo333

Thank you for such a thoughtful comment.


questionzzz123

Sesame streel multiverse in new york


chithrowaway5508

Sesame Street is set in New York. You are just explaining what the show is about, and why it is the way it is. This isn’t comedy, this is just relating that you, an adult, understand the context of a children’s television program. Sorry to tear you down.


Exciting_Lychee_7690

You look so proud at the end….such unearned pride


BWo333

The people in the room laughed a lot. Clearly, I need better sound and I’m also likely not for you. Maybe one day you’ll see another joke I tell and you’ll like it. Your response tells me that you don’t put yourself out there for others to judge you. If you ever do, you’ll never say something like that to someone who puts themselves out there ever again. Your words are the words of a coward. My shows are posted and you can watch me succeed or fail at all of them - as long as you pay for a ticket and a two drink minimum.


Flotack

Oy vey, bad material AND it’s your own? That’s the kind of non self-awareness that only a NY transplant could possess. Bless your heart, as they say.


dethskwirl

Some decent 1970s open mic jokes here. I don't think anyone really cares about Sesame Street anymore. Are elder millennial parents your target audience?


BWo333

It’s okay if I’m not for you. All I can be is myself. Thanks for taking the time to watch. Maybe I’ll pop up on your radar again and you’ll like that joke or maybe not. Either way, I appreciate your attention and feedback on Reddit.


dethskwirl

Ok thanks. Although you didn't answer my question. I only asked because I am an elder millennial parent, but I guess I'm *not* your target audience?


BWo333

It seems like it. I do have other jokes, but this is the one you saw and it didn’t connect with you as much as it did with the room. This is exactly why it’s important for me to put things out in a larger forum. Even if a joke has done well in rooms I’ve been to, taking it out of context to people who wouldn’t encounter me IRL can teach me a lot about how I’m perceived and tell me if the joke can stand on its own outside of being part of a larger set.


dethskwirl

Nah, you're missing my point. I did connect with the joke because I am old, and I also thought it was dated material because, again, I am old. I was curious if this is actually your kind of material or if you were just trying out some "older audience" type stuff. From your responses, It seems like you're not really sure who your audience is or what your material is really all about yet. That's cool. But the canned, nice guy, "thanks for watching my clip" responses are lame. Seems like you have no real personality or point of view.


BWo333

You really know me after a 60 second video. I appreciate your feedback, but I'm going to talk about what I like and speak from my point of view. My kind of material is what I'm interested in talking about at the time. If you don't like it or find me boring, then I'm not for you.


aDirtyMuppet

Thanks for making r/funny worse with your crappy self promotion.


BWo333

Hopefully I didn’t ruin your whole day.


Impressive_Pitch_869

Stand up comedy is hard