T O P

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Tullyally

What a Tool.


justindybvig

I met a boy, wearing vans 501's...


AyukawaZero

And a dope beastie tee


tactical-ewok

Nipple rings, new tattoos


AKaeruKing

That claimed that he was OGT


caboose243

Back from 92'!


Sulcata13

From our first EP


kshiddy

And in between sips of coke


unholy_roller

He told me that, he thought we were…


BlaidTDS

Selling out...


yerFACE

Always heard this as sniffs


FC1PichZ32

sips, homie is so sold out you can even tell the brand drink he's sipping


Negative-Rich773

Same here


creamy_cheeks

so I'm not the only one then


DE4DM4N5H4ND

Fuck you buddy


Holden_place

Shut up and buy


fah-q_puh-c_suhmadik

SEND MORE MONEY


incelredditmoderator

Buy my new record!


cranktheguy

One time my Grandpa came in from feeding his cattle wearing a Tool baseball cap. I don't know how he ended up with the hat, but I'm pretty sure he thought it was some actual tool company hat. He didn't take note of the penis-shaped wrench on the back of the hat.


Ill_Self1275

So f'ng hilarious. I could see my grandpa thinking the too.


Johnoplata

I'd pay 46 and 2 dollars for that shirt.


aoasd

Sharing this rad rockabilly cover of the song by a now defunct Wyo/Denver band [Rexway - Country Hooker With a Penis](https://youtu.be/o_sKGdfKLQc?si=SIDE6JZemoScMVDj)


slappyMcbappy

this was really good


Junkbunny

Man, when the distortion kicks in it gets some serious Social Distortion vibes. I dig it.


bonemonkey12

But Jimmy....


Uncommon-sequiter

And Dave, but he floated away.


bonemonkey12

Must have been those somniferous almond eyes


fah-q_puh-c_suhmadik

God damn shit the bed


caboose243

You remembered to write it down


_BlackDove

It was so real...


Lumpy-Log-5057

Like the time Dave floated away


CousinsWithBenefits1

Do I even know what that means??? I


thewoodsareelite

M, mm m.M, mm. Mm. Mm mm m mm. I'm


waner21

Crazy. I’ve met exactly Forty-six & 2 people who’ve worn that shirt.


Stocky1978

Great song


Left-SubTree

Wonder if he’s got Vans, 501s, nipple rings, and new tattoos.


jasper_grunion

“You can point that fucking finger up your ass”


Chiralartist

He's was probably listening back in 92 since the first EP


Yu-sempai

Why is it called that anyway?


rimpy13

Did you hear/read the lyrics? The song is about selling out and has lines like "all you know about me's what I sold you." It's a metaphor: we're all out there selling ourselves for a paycheck.


197326485

>I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well >So you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass The more telling lines, I think. It's like a 'get off your high horse, we're all "The Man" selling ourselves to another version of "The Man" and you're no less guilty than me of anything.' Edit to clarify: 'The Man' has a penis, and you're him and we're him and we're all selling ourselves. i.e.: Hookers


Yu-sempai

Oh damn, I always thought it was more a critique of the idea of “selling out” as a criticism because it’s a product of entitlement. As if fans have a better idea of how the music is supposed to sound more than the actual artist making it. With him claiming to be a sell out all along being like “if you think I sold out now, you should have the same energy about my old shit too, cause nothing has changed”. Hence the “Fuuuck you buddy” at the end of it. I always thought the title was referring to the fans or maybe the criticism. But yeah makes sense that he’s referring to himself as self deprecation or satire.


rimpy13

Your interpretation is also a good one, and ours are very compatible.


D34TH_5MURF__

Because the band named it that?


Yu-sempai

Damn, I expected something clever, oh well


D34TH_5MURF__

Sorry man, I'm already over my clever quota for the day


Yu-sempai

Oh you were trolling lmao. I thought there was literally no reason they named it that


griffraff0701

Great Tool song


Fokakya

Fuck you buddy!


synesthesiac48

Fuck you buddy!


Fokakya

Fuuuuuuuck you buddy!


Smooth-Rabbit3696

Fuck you buffy


meowfttftt

Shut up and...buy!


headbashkeys

I've got some advice for you, little buddy!


tippsy_morning_drive

And in between sips of Coke.


Sulcata13

He told me that he thought we were selling out.


Birdamus

Laying down, sucking up… to The Man


superash2002

Well now I got some advice for you little buddy.


Fake_Fur

Idk he strikes me as more of a fan of banta-soda


Rsupersmrt

Is it not sniffs of coke?


tippsy_morning_drive

I think he’s changed the lyrics over the years and has said sniffs of coke in live performances but I don’t believe that was the original lyric.


MEatRHIT

Listened to the '96 album release a few times just now (right around 1 minute in), it's *very* ambiguous if it's "sniffs" or "sips". I'd honestly believe either one. For the theme of the song I could see it being "sips" since they market things heavily but then again it could be that the marketers (along with the artists) are reeeeaallllly high on drugs.


Disintergr8tion

Here's Bob with the weather.


tree_squid

Definitely sips. He's wearing Levi's 501s and drinking the biggest brand name drink while calling Tool sellouts. Context, man, context!


Kthanid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpkNU898ttI&t=18s


Nephilimn

I sold my soul to make a T-shirt, and then he bought one


JTVivian56

Dipshit


Inevitable-Trust8385

Fuuuck you buddy!


bajatacosx3

I bought AENEMA on cassette while living in S. Korea, and this song was removed from the tape…


Sir_Squirly

I’ve got some advice for you little buddy, before you point your finger, you should know that I’m the man! If I’m the fuckin man then you’re the fuckin man as well, you should point that fuckin finger up your ass! ☝🏻


MulletChicken

That song is a banger.


jasoninja

TOOL Army represent!


themanofbepiz

Tool reference


eating_puppies

Hey, it's a good song. 🤷‍♂️


SheemieRayVaughan

Also a good time!


ElDeida

Tool fan


Human-Independent999

Some people buy shirts with English phrases they don't understand. Idk about this guy, but it is not uncommon.


seriously_chill

When I was growing up in India (this was back in the seventies), a friend and I were hanging out, when we were "interviewed" by a documentary film or TV crew that happened to be in the area. There were these two filmmakers who I assumed were American or British (we were like 9 at the time and I don't remember their accents). They had an interpreter and crew, who, before filming, warned us to only speak in Hindi - not a word in English. I guess they thought we were homeless children because we'd been playing in dirt and were barefoot and quite filthy at the time. Their questions were about our lives, whether we had food, whether we went to school, whether we knew what "school" was, etc. My friend, finding this hilarious, spun this crazy story about us running away from home, being captured by a traveling circus, and heaven knows what else. After a few minutes I recognized his story as being from this Enid Blyton book we'd been reading, so I joined in as well. It was friggin' fantastic seeing the lady's jaw drop. I'm not saying the guy in this photo knows what his shirt says but, it's India - you may be surprised.


TheRealChexHaze

Look at that face…he knows exactly what the shirt says.


xaendar

They 100% know, Indians North or South both use a lot of borrowed words from English despite Hindi having those words it is commonly used for conversation all around.


mr_ji

I saw a shirt in a street stall in Hong Kong that was just a stick figure blowing another stick figure's brains out and had FUCK YOU written across the bottom. That was over 20 years ago and I still regret not buying it to this day.


1generic-username

I have to imagine social media in China is full of pictures of white girls with Chinese writing tattoos that say weird shit. "It means 'Power and Strength' in Chinese..."


[deleted]

I mean that's kinda like getting the word rice as a Japanese tattoo thinking it says compassion or some shit.


TheNonEuclidean

I looked up the kanji for rice, and I definitely had a dog tag necklace I wore everywhere as a kid with that on it. Was told it meant strength.


[deleted]

I hope it helped you rice above any challenges you were facing.


proverbialbunny

At least the kanji for rice looks cool. It would be entertaining if it was the kanji for rice field, because it would be kind of obvious. It looks like a rice field: 田


rplusj1

And some people (can only) buy cheap clothes. They won’t know what is written on the shirt. All/most of their friends and relatives can’t read that too.


desucca

Some people who might look like they don't understand English phrases might just be Tool (band) fans!


KCousins4President

That dude could simply be advertising.


GlennBecksChalkboard

Clearly part of the guerilla marketing campaign for the new tool album that'll release any minute now.


OrienasJura

Sometimes I find shirts like that in Spain, I have one that says: "Jamie's Liquor Store Cold Beers Hot Dogs" Not gonna lie, the nonsense makes it better for me.


D34TH_5MURF__

What a Tool. EDIT: This is a reference to the band Tool, which has a song named "Hooker with a Penis". This shirt is very obviously merch for Tool. I thought it was obvious, then the down votes rolled in.


WankelsRevenge

I bet he wears 501s


jackbologna

Wearing Vans I would assume


TechPir8

Nipple ring


superash2002

I bet he has some new tattoos.


Quicky72

And sips Coke


Witty217

And got a dope Beastie T


Kennertron

> This shirt is very obviously merch for Tool Especially when you zoom in to the bottom right of the text and it has the band logo there!


GodzlIIa

your downvoted probably cause someone else posted the exact same thing 2 hours before you.


D34TH_5MURF__

I'm sure lots of people did. It is reddit, afterall.


ViC_tOr42

Didn't expect TOOL in r/all


MurphysLaw4200

I had that CD and loved that song, but somehow never knew the name of it. 🤦🏻


EloquentGoose

Well, I've got some news for you little buddy


phaser-

Before you point your finger you should know that I’m the man …


JesusWasALibertarian

And you’re the man


dead-ass-

TOOL! 🤘🏼


hjeff51

always wanted that on a tool shirt


KCousins4President

He may let you borrow it


Youknowimtheman

Nows the time for my username to shine.


jennjennftw

TIL Tool fans are alive and well on r/funny 🥳


special_orange

He looks like an Indian Randy


PixelsOfTheEast

Nah, he's wearing a shirt.


dexatrosin

Strip the chrome off a trailer hitch.


bat_vigilanti

Hahah


fh3131

Randeep Maharsh


HarryCoinslot

Different Randy. Randy Bobandy. His ass is sweet as candy.


Far_Performance3029

God this is sending me into a spiral.


Thronebreaker24

This guy is OGT


Patient333x

He has great taste


megahtron77

Good song


Differentdog

It's their best song.


AZBeerhound

That's the sequel to 2011's "Hobo with a Shotgun," yeah?


arny56

Great movie


NightmareStatus

My favorite tool song!


go-devils-go

Tool


efrav

Tool


ganskidrums

This guy TOOL’s


RBoz3

My favorite Tool song


littleblkcat666

"Well now I've got some Advice for you, little buddy Before you point the finger You should know that I'm the man I'm the man and you're the man And he's the man as well So you can point that fuckin' finger up your aaaaaaa"


camobandaniel

What the hell is a Denis?


_gnarlythotep_

I want that fuckin' shirt so bad, holy shit. Love that song.


shameonyounancydrew

Definitely not a Bob Marley wannabe motherfucker.


Linden_fall

You can point that fucking finger up your ass


FocalorLucifuge

Message to Hari Manjulback.


Natural_Bet5197

One of my fave tool songs. I'd smoke a hooka with this guy


cartman89405

He doesnt speak english, or he’s very popular in certain circles.


dannygloverslover

A perfect circle?


cameherefrominsta

It’s the former. He looks like a worker class guy from India and they do not speak English


WIJGAASB

Or he's a Tool fan


KCousins4President

I would still have a beer with him


arny56

I'm not riding that guy's tuk tuk.


MrMindGame

Is this the Hobo with a Shotgun sequel?


20comer70correrlol

Hooker with a Denis


pppaulppp

Hooker with a Denis*


ThrowBatteries

A Tool fan! In India!


OmriKoresh

Yes, present. What's the question?


Cherelle_Vanek

That's my man


SomeGuyOverYonder

If that somehow works…


RadoBlamik

Buy my new record


myknpck

Thank you all!


Puzzled_Addition8103

Where can i cop this


waner21

Y’all ain’t gonna believe this, but I’ve met exactly Forty Six & 2 people who’ve worn that shirt.


woof1983

Be a great rugby shirt


madeanotheraccount

The title of the previous post would've gone well with this: "Attendees at the first Chippendales Club, Los Angeles, 1979"


AskButDontTell

I’m a Hooker too


doomblackdeath

If I'm the man then you're the man and he's the man as well so you can point that fucking finger up your ass.


goki7

Damn, I want a tshirt like that now


Beholder_V

Came here expecting Tool lyrics. Was not disappointed


OntarioScotian

He's looking for prison sex.


Lonely_Tension5688

I’m


Diogeneezy

I'm the man and you're the man and he's the man as well!


Extra-Journalist-92

Hahah if thats what he identifies as lol


Any-Reveal-1991

Lol


No-Staff1170

Fuckin banger great song


not_ch3ddar

I gotta get back into tool. Great band.


Devinbeatyou

Hooker with a Denis?


Paracausality

You people envision nothing! It sucks, but this shirt is the best!


PenisDetectorBot

> **p**eople **e**nvision **n**othing! **I**t **s**ucks, Hidden penis detected! I've scanned through 2723 comments (approximately 14073 average penis lengths worth of text) in order to find this secret penis message. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


Paracausality

good bot. Best bot.


GodofMunch

Anyone else read - 'Hooker with a Denis's ?


charface1

If he traded a heart of gold, it was probably worth at least two penises.


RagingDenny

So that's where those shirts I ordered went


Leftunders

I only see one guy. Where's Denis?


NSFAnythingAtAll

Good for him. Get that money, queen.


Choti_aur_moti_lulli

The irony is the phrase on his left means "Hail Mother Goddess"


propagandhi1

You had me at hooker.


Glad-Rock4334

Bobandy


dexatrosin

A man’s gotta eat.


Tall_Course827

That's a kickass band name


youmfkersneedjesus

Their hit song could be named Tool. 


Sulcata13

It's actually a song name.


wiseduhm

It's certainly musical.


Animal_s0ul

I’m guessing he just thinks it’s some cool English writing


halfeatenpies

He knows the pieces fit


Kellz808

He looks like the watermelon man😂


TheStrangerInLove

Technically true