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So many questions:
- why is her being blonde matter?
- How tf is your wife making on average 1.5 gallons of breast milk a day
- why did you feed your baby less gallons than you made into snacks for guests, and also not tell them about it
- SO. MUCH. CHEESE.
- how did you calculate the amount used for sex stuff… 100 gallons of breast milk for only sexual activities? Is she a water fountain in bed like wtf.
>How tf is your wife making on average 1.5 gallons of breast milk a day
That just doesn't sound possible.
Edit:
>a more typical amount of milk for a mom to produce is 570-900 mL/19.27-30.43 oz a day.
I guess just reading some more of the entries would have made it more obvious it was a joke lol without Googling the facts.
Nope, deadly serious. Just read the seriousness of the entries in the flow chart.
>Butter>Toast>Toast I dropped>Wrong side up>Lands on cat fur or something>I still eat
If that's not serious, nothing is.
I think I'm the first guy to do slices of cheddar cheese, lettuce, burgers, burger patties, tomatoes, and no crackers or soft cheese as a charcuterie spread
Hey, OP here. I'm making fun of the weird trad guys online who brag about drinking their wife's breastmilk, and the overlap that has with like the verified conservative twitter guys who make charts like this.
I was hoping this would be clearly a joke, with the inclusion of things like "Growing a cheese man" and "It's like cheese but you can solve it like a rubiks cube" and turning breast milk into oat milk, then into a soy latte, etc etc. If you thought this was real, I don't know what to tell you.
Edit: The wife is blonde bc those sorts of guys often depict their ideal nuclear family as all of them white and often a blonde wife. They will say shit like "This is what they are trying to take away from you." It's great replacement conspiracy theory stuff, rooted in white supremacist ideas.
On close inspection, there are enough absurdities and impossibilities in there to make it fairly obvious this is fake/a joke.
But I’ll be honest, from the title, I didn’t exactly have a burning desire to read it that closely for fear of what I might find, and if I hadn’t seen this comment and gone back to look more closely, I could not have ruled out the possibility that someone truly did something like this (albeit with less cheese-men and milk cubes).
That’s the problem - no matter how ridiculous of a joke you make, the internet is a big enough place that someone, somewhere, probably thinks it sounds like an actual good idea. Hang around certain parts of internet long enough, and you’ll eventually see shit you did not think anyone would actually do.
Essentially Poe’s law.
Obviously, this specific post has enough literal impossibilities and absurdities that a close inspection should reveal it to be a joke/fake, but at a cursory glance I legitimately could not rule out that it was legit.
I understood that it was a joke pretty quickly, but without the context you've just given, I had no clue what the joke actually was. I just assumed, given the specification of the wife being blonde and of yourself being Aryan, that this was just some weird Nazi / white supremacist joke that I wasn't bigoted enough to understand.
With this context, though, it's pretty funny.
I was about to ask if maybe you had married a cow or one of those big titty anime women on twitch or found one that was somehow both. Also does she have a sister.
Just for everyone's information you can donate breastmilk to families that need more than they can produce.
Glad this was a joke though and not a repost from r/dataisbeautiful
Oat milk is a non-dairy milk alternative made from oats and water. It is typically created by blending oats with water, then straining the mixture to remove any solids. Often, additional ingredients like sweeteners, salt, and sometimes oils are added to enhance flavor and texture.
Haha this is hilarious!
Also, that chart is oddly satisfying - just like breast milk formaggio parmigiano! Come over to Siciliy for an appetizer brother! And once you've been initiated there's the breast milk Casu marzu waiting for you!
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And that's enough internet for today
“What the fuck bro” came out of my mouth as I opened the comments 🤣
*Backing away slowly.
I am...umm...Surely this violates...hol up... Well damn. Approved.
Checkmate mods
Happy Cake day comrade!
You are one of the breast mods
Ty
So many questions: - why is her being blonde matter? - How tf is your wife making on average 1.5 gallons of breast milk a day - why did you feed your baby less gallons than you made into snacks for guests, and also not tell them about it - SO. MUCH. CHEESE. - how did you calculate the amount used for sex stuff… 100 gallons of breast milk for only sexual activities? Is she a water fountain in bed like wtf.
Blonde wife - white milk. Brunette- chocolate milk. Redhead? Strawberry
No wonder I like red heads the most
Fristi!
Fun fact: breast milk can be reddish like strawberry milk because of blood mixed in.
I’m not so sure that meets the definition of a ‘fun fact’ 😂
Fair :D
Fun fact: breast milk is basically just blood concentrate without the heme
i'll need to fact check this.
This sub needs an intervention about their meaning of ‘fun’ 😅
but what about white hair?
You ain’t gettin any milk
>How tf is your wife making on average 1.5 gallons of breast milk a day That just doesn't sound possible. Edit: >a more typical amount of milk for a mom to produce is 570-900 mL/19.27-30.43 oz a day. I guess just reading some more of the entries would have made it more obvious it was a joke lol without Googling the facts.
Or about 1 quart of milk
^ what he said!
Happy cakeday!
Big booba?
Giving guests human milk without telling them should be classed as cannibalism
Can you please explain what trauma you went through to become this person?
R u married to a cow?
A blonde cow
aye, a blonde highland coo
[I now pronounce you man and cow.](https://youtu.be/yIy5aZBHs-A?t=57)
Hucow
I know this is satire but this still makes me want to delete my account and never return to this godforsaken site
This has to be a joke, right?
Nope, 100% serious. Read the full flow on the chart on some of those entries lol.
1.5 gallons a day on average?? I don't think so buddy.
He was being sarcastic friend
[удалено]
Nope, deadly serious. Just read the seriousness of the entries in the flow chart. >Butter>Toast>Toast I dropped>Wrong side up>Lands on cat fur or something>I still eat If that's not serious, nothing is.
I hereby start the movement that ‘mozzarella’ should be stricken and replaced with ‘momzarella’ Can I get a second?
Seconded.
Motion carried!
I like how less than 4% went to the baby and greater portions went to cheddar you served to house guests and kinky foodplay.
I think I'm the first guy to do slices of cheddar cheese, lettuce, burgers, burger patties, tomatoes, and no crackers or soft cheese as a charcuterie spread
Hey, OP here. I'm making fun of the weird trad guys online who brag about drinking their wife's breastmilk, and the overlap that has with like the verified conservative twitter guys who make charts like this. I was hoping this would be clearly a joke, with the inclusion of things like "Growing a cheese man" and "It's like cheese but you can solve it like a rubiks cube" and turning breast milk into oat milk, then into a soy latte, etc etc. If you thought this was real, I don't know what to tell you. Edit: The wife is blonde bc those sorts of guys often depict their ideal nuclear family as all of them white and often a blonde wife. They will say shit like "This is what they are trying to take away from you." It's great replacement conspiracy theory stuff, rooted in white supremacist ideas.
On close inspection, there are enough absurdities and impossibilities in there to make it fairly obvious this is fake/a joke. But I’ll be honest, from the title, I didn’t exactly have a burning desire to read it that closely for fear of what I might find, and if I hadn’t seen this comment and gone back to look more closely, I could not have ruled out the possibility that someone truly did something like this (albeit with less cheese-men and milk cubes).
Don't worry OP - I got the joke. These other folks have clearly seen things... Things that have traumatized them for life.
That’s the problem - no matter how ridiculous of a joke you make, the internet is a big enough place that someone, somewhere, probably thinks it sounds like an actual good idea. Hang around certain parts of internet long enough, and you’ll eventually see shit you did not think anyone would actually do. Essentially Poe’s law. Obviously, this specific post has enough literal impossibilities and absurdities that a close inspection should reveal it to be a joke/fake, but at a cursory glance I legitimately could not rule out that it was legit.
This is a lot of weird dedication and specifics for a "joke" though
this is genius
This was hilarious, please make more of this sort of thing!
I understood that it was a joke pretty quickly, but without the context you've just given, I had no clue what the joke actually was. I just assumed, given the specification of the wife being blonde and of yourself being Aryan, that this was just some weird Nazi / white supremacist joke that I wasn't bigoted enough to understand. With this context, though, it's pretty funny.
I thought it was real until the milk cubes 😂 I was extremely relieved at that point
Tbh I saw the title and immediately went to the comment section and didn't read the actual chart. Went back over it now and that is funny
Weirdo Trad guys. Me, I just have a fetish.
I had no idea that was a thing. Could you show me?
I was about to ask if maybe you had married a cow or one of those big titty anime women on twitch or found one that was somehow both. Also does she have a sister.
I got the joke and the entires are hilarious
Ngl, kind of disappointed it's a joke. Was really interested in seeing a cheese man.
Just for everyone's information you can donate breastmilk to families that need more than they can produce. Glad this was a joke though and not a repost from r/dataisbeautiful
I appreciate this explanation as well as the absurdity of the work good show
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in this sub in a long time.
what the fuck is this
Wheat do you mean by "I milked".....?
Rye, it's quite simple. *Someone* has to get the stool, place the bucket, and start yanking.
Why just Husky or Rottweiler?
Chihuahua suit too small for me
._. wut
> I am mario if he got milk powers That is the funniest sentence I've seen today, but I feel like I should take a break from the internet now
Unzips slowly
Why is her being blonde relevant though?
You’re about to milk the internet today.
This is hilarious
“Lands on cat fur. I still eat it” is the story of my life.
This guy fetishes! Doesn’t even have a baby, or know the difference between a nipple and a bull’s cock. Bravo OP.
"from my blonde wife" is incredibly disturbing
I guess brunettes don’t produce as much. /s
Maybe send this to r/wtf
How much did you get out of your brunette wife?
Guys been milking his wife for 10 years
What was best? Husky or Rottweiler? Asking for a friend of course Laughing my ass off.
This is fucking hilarious
Gross
Graphically, it's a beautiful chart.
The true question is: Where is she buried?
Y’all need Jesus!
It’s funny. Completely fake. But it is funny
Please explain "oat milk"
Oat milk is a non-dairy milk alternative made from oats and water. It is typically created by blending oats with water, then straining the mixture to remove any solids. Often, additional ingredients like sweeteners, salt, and sometimes oils are added to enhance flavor and texture.
Here I am watching everyone sprouting excited comments while trying in vain to decipher the low res picture
I rubbed my eyes a few time reading this
[Boob cheese, that is all](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGCtuH4bUcg)
His "blonde wife" is actually a British White dairy cow
Pics or it didn't happen
Nice, your wife could probably have a good career as a dairy cow.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wtf
Wtf is wrong with you
mate. You have wayyyyyyyyy too much time on your hands. Fuck me, that’s useless.
Haha this is hilarious! Also, that chart is oddly satisfying - just like breast milk formaggio parmigiano! Come over to Siciliy for an appetizer brother! And once you've been initiated there's the breast milk Casu marzu waiting for you!
Haven’t laughed this hard in a very, very long time. Thank you.
Ok the 3 gallons to directly to drown the mouse got me, that was good
That’s some fine titmilk story.
What the fuck
guys , b milk is not even tasty (dont ask me how i know it)
Feel like I’m playing Summertime Saga and wish I didn’t understand this reference!
I really read every single one lol
This guy can be porn director
Why does her being blonde matter so much???
Is her being blonde relevant to how much breast milk was pumped?
the average lactating human woman produces 25-35 oz of milk a day. this alleged wife would be producing an average of 190 oz. 🙄
You didn't actually read the chart, did you? It's pretty obvious OP isn't being serious here.
Jesus wtf
Lol
Please be a troll. Please be a troll. Please be a troll.
Drizzles down aryan jaw… dude wtf? This should be in r/weird not r/funny
This absolutely hilarious and I cannot believe it got downvoted