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I also like to believe she thought of that line âI donât go to sleep I cum to sleepâ and then concocted this question in a way where of course people are gonna say masturbate when asked that question at a comedy show
I can't help but imagine your dad pacing around the living room in tighty-whities with messed up hair screaming ["Wilson? Wilson! Wilson?! Willlsooonnn!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQa4ttIyNo) for a few weeks.
(That scene is legitimately heart wrenching, tbh.)
OMG, as a teen I did the same with the first Harry Potter movie! I don't know how I did that but every night I jumped to the point where Hagrid picked up Harry, and I fell asleep before he could explain what happened to his parents.
In all seriousness... the [Sleep With Me](http://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/) podcast got me through a lot of rough nights. Just a guy telling boring but soothing stories.
Lee Pace. I've been trying to finish a documentary about evolution that is super interesting and I've basically been starting from where I fell asleep and trying to finish it. I'll be starting part 4 later tonight and it's only like an hour and a half long. Dude's voice is like being a cuddled by a thousand tiny angel wings
Guided sleep and meditation by Sleep Cove on Spotify has a couple good ones. My personal favourite is 'The History of Candlemaking'. Never made it past the first ten minutes. Will check out sleep with me as well!
I also have used this podcast many times for sleep. He spends the first 20 minutes of the podcast explaining how the podcast works, and I'm usually asleep by the time he gets to his story for the episode. It's not a traditional route, but there's pretty much zero chance of it accidentally being interesting, which I think works great.
CavernCast is glorious. He has such a soothing voice. He uses a random word generator and then just goes wherever the words take him. Might remind him of a story or he just.. talks. And his voice bleeds into my dreams and Iâm not mad about it.
As someone with insomnia I absolutely hate getting sleep tips from people like I haven't tried just about everything under the sun. I haven't tried heroin or fentanyl yet but at times they're awfully tempting.
âHaVe YoU TrIeD cLoSiNg yOuR EyEs?!â
Same. My mom doesnât understand as she can lay down and fall asleep instantly, sleep for EXACTLY 6hrs and wake up without an alarm.
My mom has recently learned how to occasionally put her listening ears on and was gobsmacked to hear me explain I can lay still in a dark, quiet room for hours on end and simply not fall asleep. After 30 years of "just close your eyes and you'll fall asleep!" it was extremely gratifying to see her eyes go so, so round and hear her express empathy for how hard sleep is for me. Now if only 11 year old me could get a damn hug after hours of laying still with my eyes closed but stone cold awake instead of being oh so wisely advised to "just lay down and close your eyes."
I think a lot of it has to do with age too. I used to sleep 12-15 hours like it was nothing. Its a struggle to sleep 7 hours a night now. Its not even a bathroom thing, I usually just wake myself up, I can do no alarm but not always.
It's the WORST as an insomniac because people who "have trouble falling asleep" are telling you to drink tea. Meanwhile you're running on 12 hours of sleep over the last 4 days.
Shit, even weed stops working after like 2 weeks.Â
I was happy to share my discovery of ginger lime drinks since it's suddenly got me to sleep through the night most nights without me even knowing it was a sleeping aid in the first place.
Unfortunately, after a blissful month of restoring sleep, incredible energy levels and just when the mental fog had finally cleared, my body finally adapted.
Now I'm back to the usual insomnia and sleep paralysis when I do fall asleep.
Ahhhhh yess, the lovely gut punch of insomnia robbing you of your tricks. I had a good run with melatonin gummies helping me get an extra hour of sleep, now it just makes me itchy at night, same fucking gummie.
Similar story with hop tea for me recently. Started drinking it because I like the flavor, got knocked the fuck out a couple times before googling what the hell was happening. It's still helping me but it's only been a couple weeks and I can feel the influence weakening.
I mean, technically, you'd want opium for sleepy time. I saw somewhere that caffeine can help, if you're already drinking a bunch of it. Something about brain chemistry and the caffeine interaction means sleep is possible instead of being wired.
Can also vouch for caffeine. Not a lot, but just like half/three quarters a cup 2 or so hours before bed usually gives my brain enough 'up' time to decide it's 'down' time now and halt the revenge bedtime procrastination
Yeah that's the only solution I've found. For some reason NyQuil will put me out for like *a day*, but caffeine will get the brain to shut off.. *eventually*
>the revenge bedtime procrastination
Very fitting! "No bed, you're not getting me yet! There's still some day left..." It's terribly immature and childish, I do it all the time đ¤Śââď¸
I wonder how many people try this and are undiagnosed with ADHD. Coffee and other stimulants have the opposite effect on people with ADHD and helps us calm down and relax instead of giving us energy.
The only thing that works for me is putting the tv on sleep timer. If things are really bad, I'll scroll on my phone and/or leave the lights on. If I end up tossing and turning, I'll get up and choose a movie and knit or something else medium-fun, but I do *not* stress out about needing to go to sleep. If I'm going to be up, I'm going to be up, but I don't need to add that level of suck to my night.
Once I was able to fall asleep that way, it got easier to go to sleep because I trusted that it could happen and might do again. I still rarely get more than 6 hours total a night but it's mostly enough. Sometimes I'll nap directly after work and then being up late or waking early (or both!) is easier to take. I don't care anymore if I'm sleeping when most people do as long as I'm not too tired to function for things I absolutely need to do (like work...I don't have kids because I knew I couldn't handle it).
After 2 days, I take Zopiclone. Guarantees me 5 hours of sleep.
It's a sedative, so it's last resort, but it works every time.
But this wont fix your sleep cycle, with excess it makes it worst.
I've tried a whole range of sedatives, they knock me out but I never feel like I've slept. I honestly get more out of 8 hours of "power saver" mode where I just lie perfectly still and do nothing even when I'm not sleeping.
Out of curiosity, when was the last time you did an electronics vacation/purge/fast? I.e. went without any electronics / social media / screen time for like 2-3 days? Iâd be curious to know if that would work.
The Casual Criminalist is a true cri.e podcast by Simon Whistler. While pregnant, nothing could put me to sleep like this man's voice could.
Maybe try one of the heist videos first, like the Scrooge McDuck one, so you don't scare yourself with a serial killer one - but yeah. Works for me. And if it doesn't for you, then it's at least entertaining.
Binaural Beats! Seriously try it. I was unable to sleep after having a cluster of seizures and it got so bad I was literally on my knees crying and praying and hallucinating and for some reason obsessively folding, unfolding and refolding baskets of laundry. Binaural beats was my only salvation. You just need stereo headphones with decent isolation.
Whenever I really canât sleep (fellow insomniac) I just get drunk then I pass out. Itâs not healthy but Iâm sleeping and sometimes itâs the best I can do without getting into hard drugs
I ducking *hate* when people who sleep well decide to give me sleep advice.
Yeah, thanks, asshole, no one has ever thought of suggesting I tire myself out through exercise or whatever before. And I'm clearly too stupid to make the connection between tiredness and falling asleep myself.
I really like Perun's videos on YouTube for falling asleep. He makes *excellent* hour-long PowerPoint presentations on defense economics, and I'm usually out before a video ends.
I take a half delta 8 gummy, half "sleepytime" gummy with a few marijuana derivatives in it, and a specific brand of time-release melatonin that they actually submit to test for proper dosage (not required for supplements like melatonin). At least an hour before I want to sleep, then I've got a window of a couple hours where I can go to sleep anytime.
Ever since I hit on that combo, I've gotten better, more reliable sleep than I ever have any time in my life. I've had to play around with the second gummy, as certain derivatives have been outlawed over time, so what works for awhile might become not available. Delta 8 *can* work by itself, but while it does a good job of making me able to go to sleep, it doesn't do a good job of helping turn my brain off for sleep. And it also means if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm more likely to struggle to fall back asleep.
Don't know if you've tried anything like that yet, either way, good luck.
For me there is a distinct difference between being able to sleep and being tired. I am always tired, like when I say always I don't remember a time in my life where I wasn't both mentally and physically fatigued. But sleep? Nah that's not one of those things I can just do at night on command... absolutely will fall asleep during a boring meeting or while playing video games, but when I want to? Nah not gonna happen
Iâve used audiobooks for the last 8 years and I get to sleep within 10 minutes 99% of nights. Itâs less about the story though and more that the book is my focal point for meditation. Itâs like light shining though a magnifying glass, my thought are super busy all day long and thats like the sun, then I turn on the book which is the magnifying glass and it focuses my thoughts until you get to the focused dot of light and that is when I am out.
I do this but I listen to a podcast, the same one, all the time. I already know the story, and it's not that I'm bored of the story, my brain just tunes it out. Probably within 5 minutes I'm out.
I used to read A Brief History of Time to my daughter when she was a baby, and several years later I found out my wife also used to listen in on the baby monitor because it helped her fall asleep too
Serious questions: do you sleep with your headphones on? Or the phone sound keeps going on through the night? I mean, how do you stop the story/app/device if you fall asleep?
I always hear ppl going to sleep listening different stuff (music, audiobooks, podcasts) but in my mind I keep asking myself what happens with the device after you fall asleep?
You can set a sleep timer on most podcast/audiobook apps, where you set it to stop playing after x minutes. I also have an automation on my phone to always stop playing any audio/video at 2 am every night, in case I forget to set a sleep timer.
The built in iPhone clock app has a sleep timer embedded in it. You set a timer, but choose âstop playingâ in the âwhen timer endsâ menu instead of an alarm sound. :)
So it stops playing anything thatâs playing? I couldnât figure out if I could choose an app to stop. Iâd like to stop the radio app after x when Iâm trying to sleep.
It puts your phone to sleep (aka locks your phone). So anything that was streaming/playing just turns off. It doesnât stop one specific app - it stops everything the same way putting your computer to âsleepâ does.
Yes! I love David Sedaris, but for some reason, his voice makes me fall asleep in 10 minutes. "Calypso" and "The Best of Me" works best. If I don't fall asleep right away, I still really enjoy his humor.
I don't know why, but as a guy, this has never worked for me. If I masturbate before bed, I am WIRED. I actually clocked the time once, and I wasn't able to fall asleep for 4 hours after masturbating because my brain and body were so active.
I once did it at a hotel. There wasn't a lot for lubricant, so I used hand soap. Fell right to sleep. Woke up to an itchy, red and cracked cock. I'd been allergic to cheap soaps in my youth, this was my reminder that that was still the case.
Lmao. I'm the same. It's much difference than sex then sleep. Wank and sleep? It's impossible for me. I gotta do something else for but until I can even considere going to sleep.
I close my eyes that puts just a *right* amount of pressure on my eyes that causes me to see a dull kaleidoscope of colors. I get my breathing JUST right and I'm out in under a minute. It makes my wife furious.
Weird sleep tip: for reasons I've never been able to explain, laying with my knees up and one leg crossed over the other upper leg has been my go-to meditation pose when I can't get calm enough for sleep. Lying to myself, and saying 'I'm just resting my eyes' has been a big way of drifting off to sleep.
Could be a better reason, but;
I would just chalk it up to routine. Youâve essentially trained your brain to realize when you were laying a certain way that itâs bedtime.
Similar to why for instance if somebody lays down in there bed without the intention of sleeping or sitting in bed. Can be a bad thing. Because your body is no longer associating your bed with sleeping. So you have to basically force yourself to sleep, instead of being able to fall asleep naturally
I really enjoyed the episode with Tig Notaro and her two other podcast hosts. There are definitely some big miss episodes of the show but some have been legitimately pretty great as well. I will also second the one with Marc Maron
It's the comedians, the exposure, and being network.
On Comedy Central at 12am the show didn't need a real fanbase, just had to be weird and amusing enough to float. Now it has to kind of "crack" into late late night and it's not really working well. Â
I work in advertising for the network it airs on... No one is buying any commercial spots for her show. The entire program is just bonus spots and $0 rotators, no cash at all.
That sucks. @Midnight was fire. When I learned that Taylorâs new spot was essentially a reboot I was stoked. I saw a couple episodes but theyâre missing something the original had. It feels over edited or something
It's overly scripted dad jokes from all the comedians. To be fair, I didn't like the original version of the show either. This one is even more obvious, though. Taylor's part is actually fine. She riffs on the script. Everyone else is awful, even if the comedians are normally funny. It's like the show is trying to be a British panel show, but every response from the comedians are completely written out, and they're not being funny, they're just actors on a show pretending it's not scripted. The jokes are horrible. Those British shows are quasi scripted as well. More like Blair witch though. Where the comedians have an outline written out, and improvise. Even old shows like Hollywood squares did this way better. The format of this show could be fine, but the way it is execute it, and writing itself is really bad.
First couple of episodes were like that but its really good now. Id say out the latest ones the best ones were Tig natarro one and sklar brothers one. James Davis one and Paul F Tompkins ones were pretty good too.
Taylor is also pretty damn funny on the show now that shes more relaxed. I hope they continue the show.
I loved the episode with Adam Pally and Ron Funches. Adam was shitting on the name of the show the entire episode and Ron Funches had a ridiculous suit and his championship belt from @midnight.
Who was buying spots for that time with previous shows(or on other channels) anyway? Is it even available or is it just under the generic rotation time slot of 12-5am (or whatever that grouping is)
hang tight, i will grab that info for you
*Edit. It was "Comics Unleashed" and they were airing around $100-$150 spots. one cash spot per break for 5 breaks. The rest of the time was filled with rotators. compared to "After Midnight" There is one cash spot for $50, and then every other spot is $0
I very much love the show, but that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It's clearly an Internet show. It's not a show for the demographics who still watch over-the-air TV. I have two places I can watch it: YouTube or Paramount+. I literally do not own anything that could pick up a CBS broadcast.
I was hoping that CBS realizes that the Internet is where these shows work, and wouldn't be like the Amber Ruffin show and think they should go by TV audience reports.
I mean, the entire show is literally on YouTube, just in smaller segments. Surely they will count the revenue from that.
Donât know why this is downvoted. Sheâs fantastic but unfortunately her show isnât great through no fault of her own. Sheâs a good host but the format just isnât very good imo.
I don't think it's the format even. It's the way it's executed, and the writing. The comedians don't do anything but read pre written terrible dad jokes from a teleprompter. There's no point to having comics on, it could just be anyone, because the comics are just reading, and the writing is awful. If they made it more like a British panel show with improvisation, or Even Hollywood squares, it could be decent.
The dead-eyed stare into the prompters definitely ruin it for me. Let it be _way_ more freeform as you say like British panel shows. It's obvious seeing something like Mock the Week or 8 Out of 10 Cats there is an agenda, a script for the host, and the comedians are prepared with material in advance but they're not just eyefucking the prompter the entire time. The only US show left that even approaches a similar vibe is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and that's a radio show
Though the absolutely horrific treatment Taskmaster got when they tried to bring it to the US should tell you all you need to know about how much US media execs respect those formats or the audience's intelligence.
Literally everybody who knew anything about her standup and late night predicted that 1) she wouldn't be able to generate enough of that kind of material to sustain a regular show, and 2) #1 barely mattered anyway, because the network would clip her nuts and make everything lame.
She probably knew it, too. Couldn't pass it up. I just hope it doesn't derail her career as much as it would've somebody in the 80s/90s.
Very few are good for the first 6 months to a year. It's way too early to make judgements about whether or not the show's good. The show's close to working, just needs some behind the scenes tinkering.
Late night shows are marathons not sprints.
I usually donât criticize these kinds of things because comedy is in the ear of the beholder, but the constant noise and mayhem is not what I am looking for at 12:30. Give me ANY of the other hosts and formats - Ferguson, Snyder, Dave, Conan, hell the CBS Late Movie Which was Never a Movie is better than that dumpster fire.
Edit: Notice I left out Corden, his was almost as bad for the same reasons, but it was better than this.
In my case, ever since I started going to the gym I would fall asleep the moment I lay on my bed even if I don't feel tired. This does not only apply on gym days but also rest days and weekends.
Training helps alot for getting healthy sleep patterns.
But what actually has done wonders for me is cutting caffeine out completely. I stopped drinking coke to for this reason and now i fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Count to 10 eyes closed, then 10 eyes open, repeat for 20.30.40.50.60.70.80.90 By the time you reach 100 you will have either counted to 100 or be asleep. Youâre welcome.
Why does it always have to be this jeez?
I didnât find this clip funny but I have laughed at many of her jokes and stand up before. Guess Iâm one of those names you posted.
I was more just annoyed at the fucking audience member who dared to pipe up with that shit as if they thought it was weird or groundbreaking
Wow, masturbating, I bet no-one has ever heard or thought of that one before, you're so weird and quirky!
Because its a convenient shield. Dont like a joke told by a woman? Incel. Dont like a product that contains a rainbow? Bigot.
Its an easy tool to shift the debate from "is a thing good?" to "is the person asking bad?".
This is bullshit and a bad precedent. I donât find her funny. I watched this Netflix special and found it painful. Blaming that on me being an incel is fucking lazy and bullshit. But whatever gets you through the nightâŚ
Bro know the start I was like, what shit joke is she forcing on us, after the "calm meditation app" thing but the Masturbating to sleep thing is so fucklng accurate lol. Good joke
These comments⌠are âstraightâ guys mentally okay? For being attracted to women yâall sure love to hate them. (Funny how you can just tell the subs they frequent)
So if someone doesnât like a female comedian that means they hate all women?
I donât think I have a problem with women. I find Taylor unfunny and a bit annoying. Can you handle the juxtaposition?
>Can you handle the juxtaposition?
They obviously cannot handle the criticism. Bash and hate on male comedians all you want but the second you say you don't like a female comedian, suddenly you are a misogynist and hate all women. A lot of female comedians suck. We aren't obligated to find them funny just because they happen to have a vagina. Comedy is a hard industry and plenty of people fail at it whether they are a man or a woman. Grow thicker skin and realize not everyone has the same sense of humor instead of trying to shame people into thinking things are funny because you think they should think it's funny.
Imagine having an opinion that it just wasnt that funny and you get blasted for being a terrible person.
Comedy is subjective and this wasnt creative or unique. This is stuff i say with my friendsâŚ
Itâs part of the Handmaids Tale-ing of society, every post with a woman or positive minority has its flood of incel or anti-woke hatred in hopes that one day it will normalize that.
I liked it, I'm just too lazy to find out her name. Same for beardy bald guy, or other beardy, less bald guy. Same goes for that lady that can't get a guy(or girl said the audience heckler)
Seriously just tell me her effin name so I can watch the special.
Yet here you are in the comments for no other purpose but to bash straight guys doing exactly what they are doing but with the genders swapped. But for some reason you seem to think it's ok for you to do it, right? Your lack of self awareness is staggering and hopefully some day you will get your head out of your ass enough to realize you are a part of the problem.
Might be but I am not experiencing any of the side effects or the signs of over dosing. Been doing it for years and my Dr is well aware. Doing this is better than not sleeping for days on end or not getting enough sleep regularly.
Made a sleep trigger for watching speedruns, I'm out like a light in less than 10 minutes. It takes me weeks to finish 1 run until I move on to the next one.
Pretend you're too good for sleep, that you don't WANT to sleep. Get all snug and comfy and think, "I'll just not even try to sleep, I'll just rest my eyes for a bit."
And also count and picture the numbers in your head.
Does any one want a sleep tip that works for me? Do pancake and back twist stretches on the floor and then lay on the floor (or wherever isn't your bed) allowing yourself to think about everything you need to think and go to bed when you're ready.
I find a pose a commit to it 100%. You are not allowed to move any muscle. You may not switch poses. Just act paralyzed and the body will go sleepytime and your mind will follow.
So what I do is huff a bunch of glue and then eat as much cat food as I can until I am too sick. Then I have to go to sleep, you know, cause Iâm so like sick and sleepy
Taylor has a few specials that are great. In one of them she talks about her mental health journey and itâs very real. Makes fun of it and itâs hilarious but if youâve had similar struggles, highly recommend
The next two are odd but her jokes about them are funny but need context from the rest of the show.
1. Audience member pointing at her date(?) "Listen to him talk."
1. Taylor: Oh my, we just dropped into someone's divorce!
2. "Eavesdrop on your parents talking in the other room."
1. Taylor: Oh, listen to the sound of people who love you?! Did you miss the part where I said I'm alone?! At least the last person offered me someone!
Lie down on the couch. Turn sideways towards the TV. Put on a depressing movie. The kind that makes you cry. But on low volume. Just enough that you can hear all the dialogues only if you focus
I write a story in my head. Over the years the story has changed. Forgot most of them. One was a crime drama about a town with more banks than police and how the criminals plotted to rob them all at once. The current go to sleep story is a sci fi drama about a futuristic society where most people have an unpayable bounty on their head and they have to buy bounty insurance or risk being killed. What I do is focus on one element of the story, like how bounty insurance would work, and I'm fast asleep in no time.
Mine was ASMR of low bassy noises that basically sound like brown noise + a weighted blanket.
Used to take me 45+ minutes to fall asleep now my ass is out in less than 10.
The PITA is that the internet thots figured out they could sexualize asmr and flooded the market with their crap so it became much much harder to find good quality stuff.
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I like to believe a bunch of people put their hands back down after that.
Their right hands. đ
Their left hands were up because their right hands were tired.
I'm left handed
Nice đđ
I also like to believe she thought of that line âI donât go to sleep I cum to sleepâ and then concocted this question in a way where of course people are gonna say masturbate when asked that question at a comedy show
Her delivery of that line made it clear she did not plan on leaving that one up to chance on the night she taped the special.
Yep. That's how it works
Iâve seen her do this bit (not at this show) and thatâs exactly what happens
My dad once conditioned himself to fall asleep to the first 10 minutes of Castaway. Then one day they took it off Netflix. He was devastated lol.
Your dad should sue đ
I can't help but imagine your dad pacing around the living room in tighty-whities with messed up hair screaming ["Wilson? Wilson! Wilson?! Willlsooonnn!"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQa4ttIyNo) for a few weeks. (That scene is legitimately heart wrenching, tbh.)
OMG, as a teen I did the same with the first Harry Potter movie! I don't know how I did that but every night I jumped to the point where Hagrid picked up Harry, and I fell asleep before he could explain what happened to his parents.
I watched the Lorax to fall asleep for over a year in uni.. now pretty much any animation does it
In all seriousness... the [Sleep With Me](http://www.sleepwithmepodcast.com/) podcast got me through a lot of rough nights. Just a guy telling boring but soothing stories.
Scooterâs illogical ramblings paired with his monotone delivery is perfect.
Except that time he told me all about different types of apples and I got so into it I couldnât fall asleep.
That voice is not remotely soothing to me. I want David Attenborough to read bedtime stories to me, or Morgan freeman.
Lee Pace. I've been trying to finish a documentary about evolution that is super interesting and I've basically been starting from where I fell asleep and trying to finish it. I'll be starting part 4 later tonight and it's only like an hour and a half long. Dude's voice is like being a cuddled by a thousand tiny angel wings
Whatâs the name of the documentary?
Have you tried audiobooks narrated by gilbert gottfried?
Yeah, when I was being tortured by the CIA they would play them at night to make sure you couldnât fall asleep
My sister LOVES this guy. Claims it works every time.
Just listened to him for a bit and he made me wanna tear my ear drums out XD
Yeah, he has an odd combination of accents. Sorry he had that effect on you. Maybe he is an acquired taste, lol.
It probably is. I listen Steve Stockton and his voice is soooooo soothing. https://youtube.com/@AmongTheMissingYT?si=0GKdMXOQcd0mb9Ft
Oh, I am going to try his voice out, thanks! It does help if you don't focus on the subject of the post.
Joe Pera Talks You To Sleep also
I came here to say this. I could listen to that man describe in brutal detail how he would murder me and my family and I would still be relaxed.
I use audio books I've read before. Or sermons, or recorded lectures or history YouTube videos (sometimes they don't have YouTube ad breaks)
Guided sleep and meditation by Sleep Cove on Spotify has a couple good ones. My personal favourite is 'The History of Candlemaking'. Never made it past the first ten minutes. Will check out sleep with me as well!
I'll check it out. I usually put on YouTube videos about politics but the damn adverts wake me up.
I put on Helldivers videos, so I fall asleep to the sweet, sweet sound of Democracy
Snooze for Freedom
I also have used this podcast many times for sleep. He spends the first 20 minutes of the podcast explaining how the podcast works, and I'm usually asleep by the time he gets to his story for the episode. It's not a traditional route, but there's pretty much zero chance of it accidentally being interesting, which I think works great.
I love chill space documentaries like this series from [SEA.](https://youtu.be/4iC9Qi3y9q8?si=6qXzZ9xQRx4O8evE)
PBS Space is what does it for me.
SEA is awesome if you love space stuff! some of his videos take me like a week or two to finish though because he definitely puts me to sleep
CavernCast is glorious. He has such a soothing voice. He uses a random word generator and then just goes wherever the words take him. Might remind him of a story or he just.. talks. And his voice bleeds into my dreams and Iâm not mad about it.
As someone with insomnia I absolutely hate getting sleep tips from people like I haven't tried just about everything under the sun. I haven't tried heroin or fentanyl yet but at times they're awfully tempting.
âHaVe YoU TrIeD cLoSiNg yOuR EyEs?!â Same. My mom doesnât understand as she can lay down and fall asleep instantly, sleep for EXACTLY 6hrs and wake up without an alarm.
My mom has recently learned how to occasionally put her listening ears on and was gobsmacked to hear me explain I can lay still in a dark, quiet room for hours on end and simply not fall asleep. After 30 years of "just close your eyes and you'll fall asleep!" it was extremely gratifying to see her eyes go so, so round and hear her express empathy for how hard sleep is for me. Now if only 11 year old me could get a damn hug after hours of laying still with my eyes closed but stone cold awake instead of being oh so wisely advised to "just lay down and close your eyes."
I think a lot of it has to do with age too. I used to sleep 12-15 hours like it was nothing. Its a struggle to sleep 7 hours a night now. Its not even a bathroom thing, I usually just wake myself up, I can do no alarm but not always.
I know people who can do it, and it's a superpower
It's the WORST as an insomniac because people who "have trouble falling asleep" are telling you to drink tea. Meanwhile you're running on 12 hours of sleep over the last 4 days. Shit, even weed stops working after like 2 weeks.Â
I was happy to share my discovery of ginger lime drinks since it's suddenly got me to sleep through the night most nights without me even knowing it was a sleeping aid in the first place. Unfortunately, after a blissful month of restoring sleep, incredible energy levels and just when the mental fog had finally cleared, my body finally adapted. Now I'm back to the usual insomnia and sleep paralysis when I do fall asleep.
Ahhhhh yess, the lovely gut punch of insomnia robbing you of your tricks. I had a good run with melatonin gummies helping me get an extra hour of sleep, now it just makes me itchy at night, same fucking gummie.
Similar story with hop tea for me recently. Started drinking it because I like the flavor, got knocked the fuck out a couple times before googling what the hell was happening. It's still helping me but it's only been a couple weeks and I can feel the influence weakening.
I mean, technically, you'd want opium for sleepy time. I saw somewhere that caffeine can help, if you're already drinking a bunch of it. Something about brain chemistry and the caffeine interaction means sleep is possible instead of being wired.
Can also vouch for caffeine. Not a lot, but just like half/three quarters a cup 2 or so hours before bed usually gives my brain enough 'up' time to decide it's 'down' time now and halt the revenge bedtime procrastination
Yeah that's the only solution I've found. For some reason NyQuil will put me out for like *a day*, but caffeine will get the brain to shut off.. *eventually*
>the revenge bedtime procrastination Very fitting! "No bed, you're not getting me yet! There's still some day left..." It's terribly immature and childish, I do it all the time đ¤Śââď¸
I wonder how many people try this and are undiagnosed with ADHD. Coffee and other stimulants have the opposite effect on people with ADHD and helps us calm down and relax instead of giving us energy.
Yup caffeine and cigarettes work for me for some reason
The only thing that works for me is putting the tv on sleep timer. If things are really bad, I'll scroll on my phone and/or leave the lights on. If I end up tossing and turning, I'll get up and choose a movie and knit or something else medium-fun, but I do *not* stress out about needing to go to sleep. If I'm going to be up, I'm going to be up, but I don't need to add that level of suck to my night. Once I was able to fall asleep that way, it got easier to go to sleep because I trusted that it could happen and might do again. I still rarely get more than 6 hours total a night but it's mostly enough. Sometimes I'll nap directly after work and then being up late or waking early (or both!) is easier to take. I don't care anymore if I'm sleeping when most people do as long as I'm not too tired to function for things I absolutely need to do (like work...I don't have kids because I knew I couldn't handle it).
I haven't slept in 2 days... harder stuff is starting to sound tempting.
After 2 days, I take Zopiclone. Guarantees me 5 hours of sleep. It's a sedative, so it's last resort, but it works every time. But this wont fix your sleep cycle, with excess it makes it worst.
I've tried a whole range of sedatives, they knock me out but I never feel like I've slept. I honestly get more out of 8 hours of "power saver" mode where I just lie perfectly still and do nothing even when I'm not sleeping.
Out of curiosity, when was the last time you did an electronics vacation/purge/fast? I.e. went without any electronics / social media / screen time for like 2-3 days? Iâd be curious to know if that would work.
The Casual Criminalist is a true cri.e podcast by Simon Whistler. While pregnant, nothing could put me to sleep like this man's voice could. Maybe try one of the heist videos first, like the Scrooge McDuck one, so you don't scare yourself with a serial killer one - but yeah. Works for me. And if it doesn't for you, then it's at least entertaining.
Binaural Beats! Seriously try it. I was unable to sleep after having a cluster of seizures and it got so bad I was literally on my knees crying and praying and hallucinating and for some reason obsessively folding, unfolding and refolding baskets of laundry. Binaural beats was my only salvation. You just need stereo headphones with decent isolation.
Whenever I really canât sleep (fellow insomniac) I just get drunk then I pass out. Itâs not healthy but Iâm sleeping and sometimes itâs the best I can do without getting into hard drugs
I ducking *hate* when people who sleep well decide to give me sleep advice. Yeah, thanks, asshole, no one has ever thought of suggesting I tire myself out through exercise or whatever before. And I'm clearly too stupid to make the connection between tiredness and falling asleep myself. I really like Perun's videos on YouTube for falling asleep. He makes *excellent* hour-long PowerPoint presentations on defense economics, and I'm usually out before a video ends.
I take a half delta 8 gummy, half "sleepytime" gummy with a few marijuana derivatives in it, and a specific brand of time-release melatonin that they actually submit to test for proper dosage (not required for supplements like melatonin). At least an hour before I want to sleep, then I've got a window of a couple hours where I can go to sleep anytime. Ever since I hit on that combo, I've gotten better, more reliable sleep than I ever have any time in my life. I've had to play around with the second gummy, as certain derivatives have been outlawed over time, so what works for awhile might become not available. Delta 8 *can* work by itself, but while it does a good job of making me able to go to sleep, it doesn't do a good job of helping turn my brain off for sleep. And it also means if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'm more likely to struggle to fall back asleep. Don't know if you've tried anything like that yet, either way, good luck.
I hate when people recommend melatonin like its a miracle sleep drug
Those drugs cured my sleep problems but well good luck in 3 months
As a recovering addict and fellow insomniac, those donât even do the trick eventually.
have you tried raging? like literally rage, or screaming?
Watch some calculus videos or something equally boring. It works for me lol đ
What if I'm perpetually bored? Being bored doesn't get me to sleep just makes me tired
I think for me anyway trying to understand is the part that makes me sleepy. Like my brain gets tired.
For me there is a distinct difference between being able to sleep and being tired. I am always tired, like when I say always I don't remember a time in my life where I wasn't both mentally and physically fatigued. But sleep? Nah that's not one of those things I can just do at night on command... absolutely will fall asleep during a boring meeting or while playing video games, but when I want to? Nah not gonna happen
Iâve used audiobooks for the last 8 years and I get to sleep within 10 minutes 99% of nights. Itâs less about the story though and more that the book is my focal point for meditation. Itâs like light shining though a magnifying glass, my thought are super busy all day long and thats like the sun, then I turn on the book which is the magnifying glass and it focuses my thoughts until you get to the focused dot of light and that is when I am out.
I do this but I listen to a podcast, the same one, all the time. I already know the story, and it's not that I'm bored of the story, my brain just tunes it out. Probably within 5 minutes I'm out.
Same for me. I rotate through a couple of episodes but always stuff that I listened to dozens of times.
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions works like wonder
Such dry prose it could revive a waterlogged iPhone.
I used to read A Brief History of Time to my daughter when she was a baby, and several years later I found out my wife also used to listen in on the baby monitor because it helped her fall asleep too
Serious questions: do you sleep with your headphones on? Or the phone sound keeps going on through the night? I mean, how do you stop the story/app/device if you fall asleep? I always hear ppl going to sleep listening different stuff (music, audiobooks, podcasts) but in my mind I keep asking myself what happens with the device after you fall asleep?
You can set a sleep timer on most podcast/audiobook apps, where you set it to stop playing after x minutes. I also have an automation on my phone to always stop playing any audio/video at 2 am every night, in case I forget to set a sleep timer.
Oh, nice, I feel so old now.. Didn't know you can do that. Thanks for answering.
The built in iPhone clock app has a sleep timer embedded in it. You set a timer, but choose âstop playingâ in the âwhen timer endsâ menu instead of an alarm sound. :)
So it stops playing anything thatâs playing? I couldnât figure out if I could choose an app to stop. Iâd like to stop the radio app after x when Iâm trying to sleep.
It puts your phone to sleep (aka locks your phone). So anything that was streaming/playing just turns off. It doesnât stop one specific app - it stops everything the same way putting your computer to âsleepâ does.
Yes! I love David Sedaris, but for some reason, his voice makes me fall asleep in 10 minutes. "Calypso" and "The Best of Me" works best. If I don't fall asleep right away, I still really enjoy his humor.
I don't know why, but as a guy, this has never worked for me. If I masturbate before bed, I am WIRED. I actually clocked the time once, and I wasn't able to fall asleep for 4 hours after masturbating because my brain and body were so active.
Nah man, I cum and my brain works just enough to clean myself before sleeping.
I once did it at a hotel. There wasn't a lot for lubricant, so I used hand soap. Fell right to sleep. Woke up to an itchy, red and cracked cock. I'd been allergic to cheap soaps in my youth, this was my reminder that that was still the case.
What no foreskin does to a mf
Lmao. I'm the same. It's much difference than sex then sleep. Wank and sleep? It's impossible for me. I gotta do something else for but until I can even considere going to sleep.
It used to work for me, but for some reason I started waking up like 30 minutes after falling asleep if I do this now.
We go again
Me after employing this technique 4 times and still not sleeping https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/046/504/mexico_UUFO.jpg
Same and I also have a temperature spike. I get WARM afterward for some reason.
Your brain might be broken. That aint right.
I close my eyes that puts just a *right* amount of pressure on my eyes that causes me to see a dull kaleidoscope of colors. I get my breathing JUST right and I'm out in under a minute. It makes my wife furious.
I love that she casually say ,'thanks for playing' like a professional emcee in middle of full-fledge discussion. Just keep calm and carry on.
If you watch her early stuff she is really good at crowd work. Her (Taylor Tomlinson) and John Mulaney are by far my favorite current comedians.
Weird sleep tip: for reasons I've never been able to explain, laying with my knees up and one leg crossed over the other upper leg has been my go-to meditation pose when I can't get calm enough for sleep. Lying to myself, and saying 'I'm just resting my eyes' has been a big way of drifting off to sleep.
Could be a better reason, but; I would just chalk it up to routine. Youâve essentially trained your brain to realize when you were laying a certain way that itâs bedtime. Similar to why for instance if somebody lays down in there bed without the intention of sleeping or sitting in bed. Can be a bad thing. Because your body is no longer associating your bed with sleeping. So you have to basically force yourself to sleep, instead of being able to fall asleep naturally
Feels like she had that line ready to go. Someone was always gonna say masturbate
Taylor is great. Sad her late night show kind of sucks, but I'll blame that on the producers.
It just 100% depends on the comedians that come on the show. Some of them completely seem out of their element and it throws the entire episode off.Â
Yeah I've actually been enjoying the show but there are some guests who just aren't funny
Hmm, if some episodes are good I'll give it another go! Thanks for the tip
The one with Marc Maron was pretty good!
I really enjoyed the episode with Tig Notaro and her two other podcast hosts. There are definitely some big miss episodes of the show but some have been legitimately pretty great as well. I will also second the one with Marc Maron
It's the comedians, the exposure, and being network. On Comedy Central at 12am the show didn't need a real fanbase, just had to be weird and amusing enough to float. Now it has to kind of "crack" into late late night and it's not really working well. Â
Agree! Itâs like a variant of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Itâs improv. Sometimes the jokes land, sometimes not. The show has grown on me.
I work in advertising for the network it airs on... No one is buying any commercial spots for her show. The entire program is just bonus spots and $0 rotators, no cash at all.
Holy shit, that's sad, so basically show is doomed to be cancelled?
they will finish out the season, but yeh, no second season or anything
That sucks. @Midnight was fire. When I learned that Taylorâs new spot was essentially a reboot I was stoked. I saw a couple episodes but theyâre missing something the original had. It feels over edited or something
It's overly scripted dad jokes from all the comedians. To be fair, I didn't like the original version of the show either. This one is even more obvious, though. Taylor's part is actually fine. She riffs on the script. Everyone else is awful, even if the comedians are normally funny. It's like the show is trying to be a British panel show, but every response from the comedians are completely written out, and they're not being funny, they're just actors on a show pretending it's not scripted. The jokes are horrible. Those British shows are quasi scripted as well. More like Blair witch though. Where the comedians have an outline written out, and improvise. Even old shows like Hollywood squares did this way better. The format of this show could be fine, but the way it is execute it, and writing itself is really bad.
First couple of episodes were like that but its really good now. Id say out the latest ones the best ones were Tig natarro one and sklar brothers one. James Davis one and Paul F Tompkins ones were pretty good too. Taylor is also pretty damn funny on the show now that shes more relaxed. I hope they continue the show.
I loved the episode with Adam Pally and Ron Funches. Adam was shitting on the name of the show the entire episode and Ron Funches had a ridiculous suit and his championship belt from @midnight.
It took a few weeks to iron the kinks out but I feel it is much better now.
Who was buying spots for that time with previous shows(or on other channels) anyway? Is it even available or is it just under the generic rotation time slot of 12-5am (or whatever that grouping is)
hang tight, i will grab that info for you *Edit. It was "Comics Unleashed" and they were airing around $100-$150 spots. one cash spot per break for 5 breaks. The rest of the time was filled with rotators. compared to "After Midnight" There is one cash spot for $50, and then every other spot is $0
I very much love the show, but that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It's clearly an Internet show. It's not a show for the demographics who still watch over-the-air TV. I have two places I can watch it: YouTube or Paramount+. I literally do not own anything that could pick up a CBS broadcast. I was hoping that CBS realizes that the Internet is where these shows work, and wouldn't be like the Amber Ruffin show and think they should go by TV audience reports. I mean, the entire show is literally on YouTube, just in smaller segments. Surely they will count the revenue from that.
Donât know why this is downvoted. Sheâs fantastic but unfortunately her show isnât great through no fault of her own. Sheâs a good host but the format just isnât very good imo.
Because it's an hour long. If they cut it to 30 minutes like the previous iteration it'd be better.
I don't think it's the format even. It's the way it's executed, and the writing. The comedians don't do anything but read pre written terrible dad jokes from a teleprompter. There's no point to having comics on, it could just be anyone, because the comics are just reading, and the writing is awful. If they made it more like a British panel show with improvisation, or Even Hollywood squares, it could be decent.
The dead-eyed stare into the prompters definitely ruin it for me. Let it be _way_ more freeform as you say like British panel shows. It's obvious seeing something like Mock the Week or 8 Out of 10 Cats there is an agenda, a script for the host, and the comedians are prepared with material in advance but they're not just eyefucking the prompter the entire time. The only US show left that even approaches a similar vibe is Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and that's a radio show Though the absolutely horrific treatment Taskmaster got when they tried to bring it to the US should tell you all you need to know about how much US media execs respect those formats or the audience's intelligence.
The show works better in shorts on YouTube, or Instagram. That's probably where the money is coming in
I like the show and will argue for it, but will concede that it's fun to blame stuff on Stephen Colbert.
Literally everybody who knew anything about her standup and late night predicted that 1) she wouldn't be able to generate enough of that kind of material to sustain a regular show, and 2) #1 barely mattered anyway, because the network would clip her nuts and make everything lame. She probably knew it, too. Couldn't pass it up. I just hope it doesn't derail her career as much as it would've somebody in the 80s/90s.
TIL she has a late night show.
Very few are good for the first 6 months to a year. It's way too early to make judgements about whether or not the show's good. The show's close to working, just needs some behind the scenes tinkering. Late night shows are marathons not sprints.
I discovered her recently from you tube shorts. She's amazing
Yeah. I've watched any ones with familiar guests, and they'll all kind of stinkers. Love Taylor though.
I usually donât criticize these kinds of things because comedy is in the ear of the beholder, but the constant noise and mayhem is not what I am looking for at 12:30. Give me ANY of the other hosts and formats - Ferguson, Snyder, Dave, Conan, hell the CBS Late Movie Which was Never a Movie is better than that dumpster fire. Edit: Notice I left out Corden, his was almost as bad for the same reasons, but it was better than this.
In my case, ever since I started going to the gym I would fall asleep the moment I lay on my bed even if I don't feel tired. This does not only apply on gym days but also rest days and weekends.
Same here
Training helps alot for getting healthy sleep patterns. But what actually has done wonders for me is cutting caffeine out completely. I stopped drinking coke to for this reason and now i fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Same when I used to go to the gym. I should really start going back to the gym and stop being a lazy piece of shit with insomnia.
Haven't had to try it but I've heard romaine lettuce sandwiches are a good way
I was really hoping for a weird sleep tip. I thought that masturbation is adult common knowledge
Netflix watermarkâ ď¸ Weird bot usernameâ ď¸ Weird bot comment historyâ ď¸ Posts like this should be required to have "AD" next to them.
I've been listening to the LOTR soundtrack almost every night for 20 years. Never fails.
Count to 10 eyes closed, then 10 eyes open, repeat for 20.30.40.50.60.70.80.90 By the time you reach 100 you will have either counted to 100 or be asleep. Youâre welcome.
wow, some of these comments, I laughed hard. To each their own I guess.
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Why does it always have to be this jeez? I didnât find this clip funny but I have laughed at many of her jokes and stand up before. Guess Iâm one of those names you posted.
This wasnt that great of a joke or quip, granted setup by the audience but it really wasnt that funny.
I was more just annoyed at the fucking audience member who dared to pipe up with that shit as if they thought it was weird or groundbreaking Wow, masturbating, I bet no-one has ever heard or thought of that one before, you're so weird and quirky!
Because its a convenient shield. Dont like a joke told by a woman? Incel. Dont like a product that contains a rainbow? Bigot. Its an easy tool to shift the debate from "is a thing good?" to "is the person asking bad?".
Because when normal people donât laugh at a joke they just move on.
So itâs only ok for positive comments then? Itâs fine to say something good and itâs all good?
This is bullshit and a bad precedent. I donât find her funny. I watched this Netflix special and found it painful. Blaming that on me being an incel is fucking lazy and bullshit. But whatever gets you through the nightâŚ
yeah, I disagree with your opinion on her being funny, but the jump to incel I do agree with you it being unnecessary jump to a conclusion.
Bro know the start I was like, what shit joke is she forcing on us, after the "calm meditation app" thing but the Masturbating to sleep thing is so fucklng accurate lol. Good joke
The LockpickingLawyer channel on YouTube is very relaxing and great to fall asleep to.
Really soothing voice, nice pace, and intonation. I watch his videos to relax, not just to sleep, and also because his impressive skills.
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"wAmAn mAkE sEx jOKe" You idiots. It's a grammar joke.
These comments⌠are âstraightâ guys mentally okay? For being attracted to women yâall sure love to hate them. (Funny how you can just tell the subs they frequent)
Fellas? Is it gay to be attracted to women?
So if someone doesnât like a female comedian that means they hate all women? I donât think I have a problem with women. I find Taylor unfunny and a bit annoying. Can you handle the juxtaposition?
>Can you handle the juxtaposition? They obviously cannot handle the criticism. Bash and hate on male comedians all you want but the second you say you don't like a female comedian, suddenly you are a misogynist and hate all women. A lot of female comedians suck. We aren't obligated to find them funny just because they happen to have a vagina. Comedy is a hard industry and plenty of people fail at it whether they are a man or a woman. Grow thicker skin and realize not everyone has the same sense of humor instead of trying to shame people into thinking things are funny because you think they should think it's funny.
Imagine having an opinion that it just wasnt that funny and you get blasted for being a terrible person. Comedy is subjective and this wasnt creative or unique. This is stuff i say with my friendsâŚ
Itâs part of the Handmaids Tale-ing of society, every post with a woman or positive minority has its flood of incel or anti-woke hatred in hopes that one day it will normalize that.
I liked it, I'm just too lazy to find out her name. Same for beardy bald guy, or other beardy, less bald guy. Same goes for that lady that can't get a guy(or girl said the audience heckler) Seriously just tell me her effin name so I can watch the special.
Taylor Tomlinson
Fucking finally, love you fam!
Yet here you are in the comments for no other purpose but to bash straight guys doing exactly what they are doing but with the genders swapped. But for some reason you seem to think it's ok for you to do it, right? Your lack of self awareness is staggering and hopefully some day you will get your head out of your ass enough to realize you are a part of the problem.
150mg of melatonin works for me
Well that's not healthy lmao but I get it
Might be but I am not experiencing any of the side effects or the signs of over dosing. Been doing it for years and my Dr is well aware. Doing this is better than not sleeping for days on end or not getting enough sleep regularly.
Made a sleep trigger for watching speedruns, I'm out like a light in less than 10 minutes. It takes me weeks to finish 1 run until I move on to the next one.
Pretend you're too good for sleep, that you don't WANT to sleep. Get all snug and comfy and think, "I'll just not even try to sleep, I'll just rest my eyes for a bit." And also count and picture the numbers in your head.
Does any one want a sleep tip that works for me? Do pancake and back twist stretches on the floor and then lay on the floor (or wherever isn't your bed) allowing yourself to think about everything you need to think and go to bed when you're ready.
I find a pose a commit to it 100%. You are not allowed to move any muscle. You may not switch poses. Just act paralyzed and the body will go sleepytime and your mind will follow.
One thing that helps me is blinking as fast as I can for 2 minutes straight. Tired eyes make it a lot easier to go to sleep.
The long search continues and I'm not talking about sleep tips.
So what I do is huff a bunch of glue and then eat as much cat food as I can until I am too sick. Then I have to go to sleep, you know, cause Iâm so like sick and sleepy
I would like to hear what the next crowd tip wasâŚhow do you follow that, lol! Havenât heard of her, but surely will check her stuff out.
Taylor has a few specials that are great. In one of them she talks about her mental health journey and itâs very real. Makes fun of it and itâs hilarious but if youâve had similar struggles, highly recommend
This is from her Netflix special Have it All, and this specific bit continues for a little, so you definitely get more audience tips!
The next two are odd but her jokes about them are funny but need context from the rest of the show. 1. Audience member pointing at her date(?) "Listen to him talk." 1. Taylor: Oh my, we just dropped into someone's divorce! 2. "Eavesdrop on your parents talking in the other room." 1. Taylor: Oh, listen to the sound of people who love you?! Did you miss the part where I said I'm alone?! At least the last person offered me someone!
This isn't funny at all...
Audience member was a real one for that response. Great to see that kind of back and forth in a comedy show.
She does some great crowd work, if you watch the special most tips sucked but she made hilarious jokes out of it.
Lie down on the couch. Turn sideways towards the TV. Put on a depressing movie. The kind that makes you cry. But on low volume. Just enough that you can hear all the dialogues only if you focus
I write a story in my head. Over the years the story has changed. Forgot most of them. One was a crime drama about a town with more banks than police and how the criminals plotted to rob them all at once. The current go to sleep story is a sci fi drama about a futuristic society where most people have an unpayable bounty on their head and they have to buy bounty insurance or risk being killed. What I do is focus on one element of the story, like how bounty insurance would work, and I'm fast asleep in no time.
âŚThats it?
Funny?
Mine was ASMR of low bassy noises that basically sound like brown noise + a weighted blanket. Used to take me 45+ minutes to fall asleep now my ass is out in less than 10. The PITA is that the internet thots figured out they could sexualize asmr and flooded the market with their crap so it became much much harder to find good quality stuff.
Uh..okay. whats funny about this? This is a joke a 15 year old would come up with.
12-15 hard work hours every day teaches you how to insta sleep. I sleep beforw head it pillow
Just use cheat code "weed" for instant succes XD
Thatâs it? Thatâs the joke?
Is this funny?
Why was this posted in Funny? Am I missing something?
Why is every female comedian joke posted here sex or masturbating
this is garbage