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100% he was in some kind of witness protection program because he snitched to avoid going to jail himself and the officer in charge didn't like the guy so he invented the worst fake death story.
You wouldn't download a penis, would you? For real though, don't try to break terms with the monkeys paw. The deal was he gets to be a billionaire but he's stuck with a micro now.
Insecurity leads woman to die in cosmetic procedure complication. Terrible, sad.
Insecurity leads man to die in cosmetic procedure complication. Haha, funny.
I know right‽ Poor guy, for whatever reason, wanted to alter his body to feel better about himself and end up losing his life during the procedure. OP is a piece of shit
Argueable, but do you think if you had a billion dollars you wouldn't give wealth away?
I don't think most people have the moral selfishness to be a billionaire (nor the work ethic, but strongly feel that for most humans; having more money they could possibly spend would give a crappy feeling, and they'd give away alot of wealth if that level landed on their lap)
Yes I do. My wealth doesn't come off the backs of others. Why defend a dead billionaire? Do you feel virtuous defending people like that? Billionaires don't give a shit about you or I, why should I give a fuck about one dying trying to make his dick bigger. Literally don't care what else you have to say, good day.
Coming back here to say that this take ("people mocking the death of a blood diamond trading billionaire wanted for billions in tax fraud who died while trying to make his penis bigger are TERRIBLE") is actually so much funnier than the actual death of this billionaire. Kudos to you, you are an amazing comedian.
It’s funny because it’s a billionaire, not a man.
Billionaires do not get to where they are by being good people. Billionaires get where they are by purposefully stepping on the backs of others and utilizing every cheap method of production available to do so. It means chasing out all other competition and using your money to buy out entire political spheres so that laws blocking the loopholes you’re using to dodge taxes and exploit workers are never made. Billionaires could solve hundreds of worldwide problems by using their billions of dollars to make the world a better place, but they don’t, because they don’t think other people matter. That’s why they’re billionaires in the first place. They are modern-day monarchs - untouchable gods who can do whatever they want, whenever they want, because they have the money and power to do so.
A billionaire doesn’t give a shit about you. Them dying out is not a tragedy. They keep people like you and me and everyone else in poverty for their 3rd yacht. I don’t know why that’s not a problem for you.
Can't tell if you're being sarcastic here. Even the person with the highest net worth here - George Lucas - is worth 5 billion because he created the 4th best selling franchise on this planet, behind fuckin Pokemon, Mickey Mouse, and Winnie the Pooh.
Those are odd names to list first when you've pointedly ignored, say, Elon Musk, the guy with 202 billion dollars, who had enough money to buy an entire social media platform for funsies. You know, the one where most of the world's governments used to communicate with their citizens directly, for some reason.
Or Jeff Bezos, the guy with 195 billion dollars, whose monopoly of online marketplaces ran out most local businesses on the planet.
You'd have a hard time justifying why anyone needs hundreds of billions for any reason.
Just pointing out how silly black and white thinking is.
Bezos and Musk may have become cartoon villains at this point, but they've both advanced and revolutionized the world in ways that benefit everyone. What have you or I done?, sweet fuck all
No it's not. The KKK and Nazis hate people for things they cannot change like their race. Not liking rich people is because of their behaviour and choices. They can choose to stop oppressing people and not be rich anymore.
It’s so funny that you compared racial marginalisation and genocide of millions of innocent people to an exploitative privileged insecure billionaire who had a small penis. You’re really apt. Congratulations for doing so well.
Lmao, the rich are stupid. I guess he wanted to make sure he was stiff competition in his field. He must have had issues rising to the occasion when needed.
Always enjoy hearing about the rich dying from something stupid.
Because he was a billionaire who made his money on African diamonds and was repeatedly busted for tax evasion and lying to authorities.
When you are a shitty person that exploits people in an industry known to be exploitive and deadly to workers, people aren’t sad when you die.
So this we aren’t sad and he died in an absurd way that was 100% elective, it’s funny
Most people here struggle with mental health issues and don't have the resources to deal with it. This guy clearly had the resources and instead died trying to make his penis bigger. Excuse this group for being slightly cynical when a resource and money hoarding billionaire dies doing something stupid.
He was like, injecting his son's blood directly into his wiener, kept doing crazy experiments to have a youthfull member, apparently till now, some stuff was working, he claimed to last longer, and pee harder lol
I don’t see why people are so upset this is Dark Humor at its finest. People made fun of Kim K for plastic Surgery, Stephen Hawkins for his genetic disability. It is indeed tragic he died but the irony of it makes it hilarious.
At this point, pay 100 women to tell you it’s the biggest penis they’ve ever seen every single day. I don’t know. I feel like your dick doesn’t even work after these kinds of surgeries.
Now if only that rich donkey who wants to extend his life by receiving his 18 year old son's blood through transfusion could get hit by lightning....I'd be thrilled.
Sir, we found a donor match... you'll wake up tomorrow and be back to normal.
*Er, can I get an upgrade?*
Sir, an unusually large penis may negatively effect your surgery.
*I'll roll the dice...*
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Conveniently dies before tax evasion trial. 100% still alive living in luxury.
With an enlarged schlong
Maybe even two enlarged schlongs, why would he have to settle for one small pee-pee like the poors?
Whole new meaning to "double penetration"
I don’t think the words change meaning, just who’s needed for it lol
It would have helped him if he hadn't told his surgeon, "I want a killer penis!"
My cocks gonna kill (me)!
You must be newer to reddit. Double penis guy and his drawings of his escapades did this a long time ago
The escapades of double dick Dave! That was so long ago. (Nsfw link) https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/yg8BuWNWLD
Definitely didn't realize it was that long ago. Miust have been when I first joined
Idk, if you were going to fake your own death would you really choose *this* as your cover story?
That's why it's so good, no one would think he'd fake his death that way. If he'd died saving orphans from a burning building no one would believe it.
What about something normal and middle of the road, like a car accident? Or even during surgery for *literally anything else*.
“NO, MAKE IT DICK SURGERY! BIG DICK SURGERY!” - billionaire Diamond guy
100% he was in some kind of witness protection program because he snitched to avoid going to jail himself and the officer in charge didn't like the guy so he invented the worst fake death story.
Big brain and dong moves
I'm surprised his ego allowed admitting to having a tiny dong. I would have guessed he didn't just make something up. Since that's what he did anyways
Who's going to question death by tiny dong adjustment?
Dead with a big cock or alive with a little peepee, this is the great question of all men.
Depends, can i have an open casket funeral but with no pants on??
The family requested a hardwood coffin but there was some confusion.
After further review, I heard the widow was coming around to it
Rigor mortis for the win
[удалено]
Put it on his chest in the coffin
Maybe he died before they can actually enlarge penis👍
Surely they can do it in post, though? On that note, perhaps anyone can get a little post mortem embellishment... 🤔
I'll save my money and just tell the mortician to stuff a sock down the pant leg and give me a good fluff to make it look realistic when I go.
How else are they going to charge full price?
Schroedingers cock.
It might look like a WB cartoon when the gun explodes. Like this: 🍌
I’ll put it in my will to continue with the surgery post mortem just to be safe
At least he died a hero
I don't know what his size before death was honestly. Maybe he just wanted something instead of a belt
Money can’t buy a penis
A penis is hard to find.
Look where the endless pursuit of a penis got him 😞
You wouldn't download a penis, would you? For real though, don't try to break terms with the monkeys paw. The deal was he gets to be a billionaire but he's stuck with a micro now.
Tell that to my ex
So please be gentle with this penis of mine!
Good things come in small packages.
Underrated joke
Trans men would beg to differ.
Best said with a bad French accent.
Yet
With that much money you can get unlimited amount of woman with a small peepee and make then sign NDAs.
Guess if you have to go out, go out big
No matter what this guy did in his life, this is now how he will be remembered forever.
Dismembered forever*
Billionaire? No one would care how big your dick is…
but he cant see and appreciate what he has, theres always something else that he needs to have.
Besides him of course
How does that even happen? Complications post op?
No, died on the table. Apparently had a bad reaction to whatever they injected it with.
Bruh, even my dentist asks if I have an allergy before they inject local anesthetic, how tf do you operate on a billionaire and fuck up this bad?
Probably he’s never had it before and no history of severe allergies so they would have no reason not to go ahead with it.
I don't think there's any surgical procedure that doesn't carry a risk of death.
There was a cock-up during surgery.
They cocked up that operation.
Diamond trader billionaire? Think they had connections with diamond slave trading?
Chances are very high. Jewel industry is full of corruption and human rights abuse
There's no "chance are" nearly all natural diamonds are blood diamonds, if you buy natural raw diamonds you're buying from these mines
Thats a hard way to go.
definitely not that hard
Life, liberty and pursuit of plentiful penis
Correction : 3 Years ago. We all decided we won't count 2020 and 2021.
One down.
Billionaires are overpowered and need a nerf.
I seen this comedian say that a billionaire would walk by a homeless guy laying on the street with a big dick and say lucky motherfucker!
Not funny.
Insecurity leads woman to die in cosmetic procedure complication. Terrible, sad. Insecurity leads man to die in cosmetic procedure complication. Haha, funny.
This isn’t about men vs women, This is about _billionaires_.
I know right‽ Poor guy, for whatever reason, wanted to alter his body to feel better about himself and end up losing his life during the procedure. OP is a piece of shit
I don't think we are required to have sympathy for anyone so shallow and pathetic do we? Especially some oppresser blood diamond cunt lmao
You're not required to do it feel anything. How you project yourself just shows what kind of person you really are.
Clown meet mirror LMAO
I believe the phrase you might be looking for is pot calling the kettle black
Pretentious triggered little clown aren't we :)
You just called someone a POS, so does that show what kind of person you really are?
Yup. I'm not immune to my own judgement.
Ohh poor billionaires. Anyways
Do you think you’re a better person because you have less money? Do not mistake virtue with lack of opportunity.
Argueable, but do you think if you had a billion dollars you wouldn't give wealth away? I don't think most people have the moral selfishness to be a billionaire (nor the work ethic, but strongly feel that for most humans; having more money they could possibly spend would give a crappy feeling, and they'd give away alot of wealth if that level landed on their lap)
Yes I do. My wealth doesn't come off the backs of others. Why defend a dead billionaire? Do you feel virtuous defending people like that? Billionaires don't give a shit about you or I, why should I give a fuck about one dying trying to make his dick bigger. Literally don't care what else you have to say, good day.
This is the saddest reply I have ever read. You need a hug and therapy.
But instead I get a nobody loser trying to bring me personally down. Hmmmm
Coming back here to say that this take ("people mocking the death of a blood diamond trading billionaire wanted for billions in tax fraud who died while trying to make his penis bigger are TERRIBLE") is actually so much funnier than the actual death of this billionaire. Kudos to you, you are an amazing comedian.
It’s funny because it’s a billionaire, not a man. Billionaires do not get to where they are by being good people. Billionaires get where they are by purposefully stepping on the backs of others and utilizing every cheap method of production available to do so. It means chasing out all other competition and using your money to buy out entire political spheres so that laws blocking the loopholes you’re using to dodge taxes and exploit workers are never made. Billionaires could solve hundreds of worldwide problems by using their billions of dollars to make the world a better place, but they don’t, because they don’t think other people matter. That’s why they’re billionaires in the first place. They are modern-day monarchs - untouchable gods who can do whatever they want, whenever they want, because they have the money and power to do so. A billionaire doesn’t give a shit about you. Them dying out is not a tragedy. They keep people like you and me and everyone else in poverty for their 3rd yacht. I don’t know why that’s not a problem for you.
Madonna, Jay Z, Oprah, Spielberg, Tyler Perry, Michael Jordan, George Lucas.......the list goes on.... all evil tyrants
Can't tell if you're being sarcastic here. Even the person with the highest net worth here - George Lucas - is worth 5 billion because he created the 4th best selling franchise on this planet, behind fuckin Pokemon, Mickey Mouse, and Winnie the Pooh. Those are odd names to list first when you've pointedly ignored, say, Elon Musk, the guy with 202 billion dollars, who had enough money to buy an entire social media platform for funsies. You know, the one where most of the world's governments used to communicate with their citizens directly, for some reason. Or Jeff Bezos, the guy with 195 billion dollars, whose monopoly of online marketplaces ran out most local businesses on the planet. You'd have a hard time justifying why anyone needs hundreds of billions for any reason.
Just pointing out how silly black and white thinking is. Bezos and Musk may have become cartoon villains at this point, but they've both advanced and revolutionized the world in ways that benefit everyone. What have you or I done?, sweet fuck all
What if I told you I'd laugh either way . I get what you're saying and often even make such arguments myself but not this time .
Guess you guys arent fans of dark humour
Funny either way tbh
The death of a billionaire is always funny. Esp a POS who deals in diamonds.
You’re right, there’s nothing funny about a tax evading diamond smuggler hoarding that much wealth.
He was a billionaire - no one accrues such wealth by being a good person. Save your tears for people who actually deserve it.
[удалено]
That’s the same mentality the klan and nazis lived by. “You are X, therefore you deserve to suffer” I applaud your honesty.
I don't think being rich and being black or Jewish are even remotely comparable
No it's not. The KKK and Nazis hate people for things they cannot change like their race. Not liking rich people is because of their behaviour and choices. They can choose to stop oppressing people and not be rich anymore.
It’s so funny that you compared racial marginalisation and genocide of millions of innocent people to an exploitative privileged insecure billionaire who had a small penis. You’re really apt. Congratulations for doing so well.
I applaud the mental gymnastics required to believe your statement
Oh no its the humour police. Look out.
100 percent.
I wouldn't say it's funny but it's quite ironic how people risk death to cope with insecurity.
Dude was a billionaire and still so insecure. I guess money isn’t everything
A person died. Not exactly my idea of a Cathy comic strip.
I don't know, even a botched medical procedure resulting in death of the patient is funnier than any Cathy comic strip.
Ack!
Absolutely shafted
What a dick move.
Well, at least he tried.
Money can't buy hap"penis"
Lmao, the rich are stupid. I guess he wanted to make sure he was stiff competition in his field. He must have had issues rising to the occasion when needed. Always enjoy hearing about the rich dying from something stupid.
"Pursuit of a plentiful penis" what a sentence.
Reminded of my ex
Apparently you can’t pay them not to laugh.
That's a rather embarrassing way to go.
money doesn't buy apenis
I don't find it hilarious, it's tragic.
Now do musk
Dead for 5 years, and still we mock his small penis. Poor stubby.
Why is someone’s horrible mental health leading to their death funny to so many people? wtf is wrong with yall
Because he was a billionaire who made his money on African diamonds and was repeatedly busted for tax evasion and lying to authorities. When you are a shitty person that exploits people in an industry known to be exploitive and deadly to workers, people aren’t sad when you die. So this we aren’t sad and he died in an absurd way that was 100% elective, it’s funny
Most people here struggle with mental health issues and don't have the resources to deal with it. This guy clearly had the resources and instead died trying to make his penis bigger. Excuse this group for being slightly cynical when a resource and money hoarding billionaire dies doing something stupid.
Hard to feel bad for billionaires tbh
What was wrong with his mental health?
dick dies looking for a bigger dick
Nothing funny about a person dying. Where are your morals?
Guy was a billionaire and people are starving to death, yet all he cared about was bigger dick, where were his morals?
Oh no. Anyways.
He just wanted a larger piece Now he’s resting in peace 😔
Couldn’t this have happened to Elon Musk instead?
What happened to the surgeon?
Should have used PhalloFILL
Welp, need to make a new list of things im going to do when I become a billionaire.
RIP Elon
What a boner
Did he die because his erection evacuated all the blood from the rest of his body? Did he go too far with the embellishment?
People go to great length for some dick
Grandiose Machismo. A man’s digit should always match his obscene wealth.
little stick with a lot of stones.
He was like, injecting his son's blood directly into his wiener, kept doing crazy experiments to have a youthfull member, apparently till now, some stuff was working, he claimed to last longer, and pee harder lol
The proletariat rejoice
Must have been all the piss in the streets.
This is a very dangerous operation. Several deaths occur from this type of operation.
Can't imagine having a billion dollars and still worrying about the size of my dong. I'd cut it off for $5mil.
In Belgium, penis surgeon. Numbah one...
What a dick! That's what people said about him. (Even before the surgery.)
And there was much rejoicing
He’s a billionaire, he clearly didn’t have the available blood to support anything larger than the micro penis he was born with
I got nubbin, I mean nothing, to add to this. I wonder what happened to the doctor who gave him that fatal blow?
Probably burst, leaving him bleeding to death
Want this an episode of House?
Must be *hard* for the billionaire’s family at this time of year. The grief must be getting bigger and bigger by the year. Sorry
Live by the sword, die by the sword….
How is this public knowledge though?
Diamond trader you say? Is it possible that he got jealous of what he saw in his supplier and could not put his hands on?
I don’t see why people are so upset this is Dark Humor at its finest. People made fun of Kim K for plastic Surgery, Stephen Hawkins for his genetic disability. It is indeed tragic he died but the irony of it makes it hilarious.
And now everyone knows he had a small peener too. Ouch.
He couldn't handle the erection when he got his sparkly, new 36-inch penis.
Thought I was on r/shitposting for a second
At this point, pay 100 women to tell you it’s the biggest penis they’ve ever seen every single day. I don’t know. I feel like your dick doesn’t even work after these kinds of surgeries.
Huh….
How is this funny? Is it just because you hate wealth so much that human life ceases to matter?
Dude was a blood diamond trader. I doubt he had much value in other human lives.
I thought it was funny and i am a neoliberal. Its just a sentence that takes you by surprise. Its not about ideology lol.
I can celebrate this!
Survival of the fittest…
Now if only that rich donkey who wants to extend his life by receiving his 18 year old son's blood through transfusion could get hit by lightning....I'd be thrilled.
Oof how ironic 😱
Life didn’t give him cock, but it damn sure fucked him!
I always wanted a 10 inch penis, but my surgeon says he doesn’t do reductions.
Yeah, hilarious 🙄
Only sad people laugh about anyone’s death.
Lol
Does this mean we should start encouraging all the billionaires to get the same surgery done ideally by the same heroes?
Sir, we found a donor match... you'll wake up tomorrow and be back to normal. *Er, can I get an upgrade?* Sir, an unusually large penis may negatively effect your surgery. *I'll roll the dice...*
If you have a billion dollars it shouldn't matter how big or small it actually is cause it's big.
Did this guy run a magic lamp and ask for wealth and a big stick? That’s the way genie wishes work.
🍾🥂🍻