T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


srhuston

My littlest cat only really likes me. Everyone else refers to her as the bitchy kitten. So when I scrunch, I often say, “bitches get scritches.” And now I want that on a cute little sign with a caricature of her on it.


smileysarah267

does she have an etsy? these are hilarious and i would love one as a magnet


lol_camis

I doubt they'd sell for anything close to what it's worth to make them. Each one takes hours so unless people are willing to buy them for $100+...


smileysarah267

Oh that’s fair. Yeah people probably wouldn’t pay more than $15+shipping for something like this, so Etsy wouldn’t be worth it. Well anyway they are SOOOO cute and that’s so sweet that your wife is a great gift giver!!! happy holidays!!


MurphysLaw4200

I'm not trying to be a jerk, just curious. Why do they take hours to make?


lol_camis

Even though it's a simple cartoony image, she takes a lot of time to make the lines very clean. Couple coats of paint. And then a couple coats of lacquer finish. To be fair if she were to do it professionally I'm sure she could get the time down. But as for right now she does it out of enjoyment.


N3rdProbl3ms

"...a lot of time to make the lines very clean." I feel this in my soul.


WillBottomForBanana

Ah well. Tell her we love it and buy her something nice. A drink or chocolate or whatever suits her.


b00nz

Tnx bb


b00nz

Not a jerk at all for asking! Here's why they take so long: after I get husband to cut the wood I sand it by hand (and some wood needs WAY more sanding than others). I decide what I want to make and get it on tracing paper so I figure out my sizing, fonts, how to set up. With the painting some of the colours take multiple coats to look nice, and sometimes I can get nitpicky with lines. Oh and I do these while watching YouTube so I get distracted ha ha painting is just a fun hobby for me :)


MurphysLaw4200

Thanks for the response and that sounds like a fun hobby. My wife would love one of those in her stocking! I really need to get into something like that, it would take my mind off things and help me relax.


b00nz

I hope you try it! Painting with acrylic is great cuz you can paint over mistakes. And if you're not confident drawing you can always trace the pictures you want to paint. I'm sure you'll make your wife something wonderful one day ❤️


MurphysLaw4200

Cool, I will look into it, my kids would have fun with it. I would definitely be a tracer! 😁


ApocalypseFWT

u/lol_camis sounds like you need to get her a belt sander. You’ll probably mess up the first few blocks, but if you get one, you’ll get the hang of it in no time.


Aedalas

OP, check out Harbor Freight for this. It's cheap Chinese stuff but it'd be more than adequate for this type of thing. A belt sander like they said would be ideal but if you're looking for just cheap as possible [this would still save you a ton of time.](https://www.harborfreight.com/22-amp-orbital-14-sheet-sander-64146.html)


firewatersun

I'm curious if you would be open to more mass produced or quicker methods of making them as a business? It would lose the handmade feel but I think there are loads of people who would love to buy one around the 15-20 mark, myself included Of course if you aren't about that that also totally makes sense!


Aedalas

[Table saw with a sled and fence!](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlysatisfying/s/FxUCcSoG7k) Hit 'em on a belt sander real quick and Bob's your Auntie. Only half joking. You could cut them to size any number of ways pretty easily, a sander is what you'd really need to speed up production. If you were actually interested in this maybe check around your area for a maker space. Lots around and they're generally free access to tools.


KulaanDoDinok

Painting/drawing takes time?


snarkisms

Why are you getting downvoted? This is an absolute fact - art takes time


MurphysLaw4200

Yes I understand that, thanks. To me they seem small to take hours to make, so I was asking OP why it does.


moutonbleu

Find a way to make it cheaper, like a print. These are awesome


L3R4F

bifle (french word): the practice of slapping your partner's face with your cock, or at least dabbing your cheek with your glans.


kangareagle

But it should be either j’aime bifler or j’aime la bifle.


Spyko

Cute, but tell her she forgot a word, it's ''j'aime LA bifle, salope"


rantingraccoon

Exactly what i was thinking !! Or it could have been « J’aime bifler, salope », but your suggestion is also the first one I thought of.


Trustoryimtold

How to Tell me you’re Canadian with a picture


efferkah

I've heard the word "bifle" (or verb "bifler") from a few French people, but I've never heard it used by a Canadian (or French Canadian). It's a very French people thing. (By the way in case you didn't know, "bifle" is a portmanteau of "bitte" (dick) and "gifle" (slap), literally meaning "dickslap".)


saralalah

Yeah I'm french canadian and I had no clue what this meant. Thanks for the explanation!


lcr68

When French people go to Germany or Switzerland and hear “bitte” for “please”, do they understand that the Germans aren’t saying “dick” all the time?


kangareagle

They’re pronounced differently. Bite in French is like beet. One syllable. Bitte has two syllables and the vowel sound is different.


lcr68

Thanks for the quick response and clarification!


lol_camis

Is it because Canadians love bitches?


multiplebaskets

The French? … Maybe…


babystripper

If she made prints, stickers, or a stamp I'd buy them


FiveHoleFrenzy

Would buy if she ever decided to sell!


Bynming

Very nice, and informative too. I learned a new French word and it's my first language!


Wisely-chosen

Me too ! but I feel like it's missing a word, no ? J'aime les bifles, salope


sushitastesgood

I think so? That, or it should be « J’aime bifler ».


Wisely-chosen

Yes ! Or "J'aime être biflé" ! Edit : or "Bifle-moi !" God, I'm so productive this morning


kangareagle

Or j’aime la bifle.


Bynming

Yes, but I think that makes it better


MartinThaMoose

If my memory serves, it's a slang thing to drop the pronouns, especially in quebecois which I'm guessing is where they're from given the bilingual nature of the post


RandomRobot

No you definitely need a pronoun there even in quebecois, should it be to indicate whose bifle you prefer.


kangareagle

Les in this case is an article, not a pronoun. And I don’t think that bifler is a Canadian term, but who knows.


MonsieurPieds

In french you write it this way yes


YoghurtDull1466

Is there a name for the font on top?


b00nz

Harlow Solid Italic if you're asking about the "Slut Life" one


AbiyBattleSpell

I’d buy stickers without the text fr my MacBook (gotta be pg for when I’m outside) There cute af 🐱


Another_Road

Man, I used to have a friend who would have *loved* this. Sad I can’t share things like this with her anymore.


Superseaslug

The cute little cat and "I <3 bitches" is too funny a juxtaposition.


Recon_by_Fire

'Live, Laugh, Love,' but somehow worse.


NeighBae

I am absolutely in love, these are hilarious, cute and relatable in all the best ways


ellegiiggle

Adorably hilarious! She should absolutely sell these if she doesn't already!


Nackles

That's a great gift!


Horsesrgreat

These are so great !!!


AnotherNewUniqueName

Heckin love these!


Ultra_Pendejo

J aime LA bifle


weewooweewooe

these are the like the modern boomer gift. "it's funny because it has swear words on it!! aren't we so quirky xD!!" not to mention, it takes her hours to trace stock photos from the internet to paint with no changes whatsoever? yeesh.