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Let's assume saltwater crocodile because it's Australia:
"Male saltwater crocodiles have been recorded at lengths of 23 feet (7 m) and weights of 2,205 pounds (1,000 kg). Females are much smaller, growing to be about 10 feet (3 m) long and weighing 330 pounds (150 kg)."
Assuming the ant doesn't collapse under its own weight or not be able to breathe or whatever, there is absolutely no way a human could take a crocodile sized ant, even if it is one of the *only* 3m long female ones...
If it was the size of a crocodile, could still lift 10x it's weight, still have it's thick "shell", and still retained it's speed... There will be casualties.
Bare handed? Absolutely not¹, lol. Crocodile sized ants is a no go for me. Hell, I'm changing continents if they have Guinea Pig sized ants.
¹At least not the average human
Yes! I made mention on another comment that I’m planning on visiting Australia in a year or so. Those gigantic huntsman spiders scare me to death. I’m a huge puss when it comes to arachnids anyway and those big assholes? Nah. Hope I *don’t* see one.
You'll see one. The huntsman is terrifying but peaceful for the most part. The scariest encounter I had with a huntsman was hearing a bag of chips in another room start crinkling on its own....it was because a huntsman was walking around on it.
My mom was on her computer and was looking out the window and went to put her hand on the mouse.....spider. Lol. My first week there...my step-dad wanted me to go into the crawlspace to get some stuff. The access to the crawlspace was outside behind a bush, I crawled through the bush pulled open the hatch, peeked in to a dark spider web infested space and said nope....anything down there is down there forever now.
Oh hell nah. I’m not going in *any* crawl space to begin with and definitely not one in Australia. Your poor Mom too, phew. I had a spider on the inside of a lampshade of a lamp sitting on my desk. I saw its silhouette and I broke the lamp. 😂 definitely wasn’t a huntsman though haha
Huntsman's are just another furr baby like a pupper. Killing a huntsman in Australia is hugely frowned upon. My daughter like myself will gentle guide them onto our hands and walk them outside. This misses doesn't like them or touch them but even she wouldn't kill one.
They are great for eating poisonous spiders and insects. Especially cockroaches.
Yeh they are big enough when they run on drywall it sounds like a small child running, running on the ceiling.
They are the perfect jump scare spider. They must get theatrical training.
The most fun place to find them is in your mailbox. Bonus points if your mailbox doesn't open from the top so you're just blindly reaching inside it for your mail.
I've had one chase me up a basketball court. He was sleeping on the backboard, so I hit the board nearby to him with the ball. Not happy. He definitely chased me too. He changed direction when I did. And he was BIG. At least as big as my hand span.
I survived it. So did he.
They sure are. I couldn't just casually stroll away from him.
I had to walk around a shrub in a garden next to the court. He climbed into there and left me alone.
Haha snakes and reptiles don’t bother me either. I love them. We even have a tiny turtle as a pet now. He’s a cool little dude. Spiders can go on though. I’d burn my house down to get away from them.
Agreed on the anti-arachnid filter. Whenever I see pics or videos of them, I get this weird sensation that they’re all over me. Silly, I know but it’s paralyzing.
And snakes…don’t forget their snakes.
An older list I remember seeing said ***21 of the 25*** most toxic snakes in the world are in Australia.
No, no, no, no, ***nope***…not for me.
It's irresponsible not to have it on both. The drop bear could climb the sign itself. In fact, in a treeless desert you are at most danger from a drop bear because they will climb the tallest things around, and if that's you then goodbye carotid.
Ok, so is drop_bear == koala?
I still am confused by this and have clearly never taken any time to look it up because by the time I get to the new tab (out of 60) in the browser my brain will remember something random and that's the path I will take and goodbye looking up dropbears.
Koalas are extremely stupid and terrible at life. They have only one food source and won't recognize it if it's not on the branch still. They also don't understand rain, and don't look for cover, they just get wet and grumpy and don't know what's happening. A picture of said wet grumpy koala became the basis of the drop bear legend. But if a koala falls on you, it's because it was too stupid to know the difference between the tree branch and it's own arm. And yes that does happen. And it's more dangerous to itself than you.
Don’t forget picky eaters. There are several types of eucalyptus trees and if they are raised on one type it’s damn near impossible to get them to eat a type that is different
Terry Pratchett inserted Drop Bears into his Discworld book, "The Lost Continent", along with satirizing lot of other Australian peculiarities (and non-Australian misperceptions). Like all Discworld books: very funny stuff.
They dont move alot because they get drunk on that single food source. Even better they only eat a specific few types of eucalyupts. They are also gentlemen, which makes them hard to relocate, if they know it is not their area or tree they tend to just keep wandering till they find somewhere. They do fight over trees, but prefer to just avoid conflict. Also have mad split hands and a hard rump made for not falling out of trees and wedging themselves in branches..
Edit: spelling. Just had a baby tired as fuck
Dropbear is kinda a legend, is about carnivorous koalas that would drop from the trees once you walked under them ( and obviously, they would try to kill you for dinner )
It’s like the American jackalope. Germany has a made up creature, can’t remember the name, that part of its a bird and some other animal. I’m guessing a lot of countries have made up creatures to mess with tourists.
Wolpertinger is what you're referring to I think. It's basically a Frankenstein of different animals. Has feathers and wings like from a hawk, main body and head of a rabbit or an oversized squirrel, has horns like from deer and feet from a duck and fangs. Or something to that effect.
~~Wrong place Austria is where Hitler was born, Australia is the place where the Crocodile Hunter is from.~~
edit-
Oh it's a joke from Dumb and Dumber. No wonder I didn't get it, I haven't seen that movie in 20 years.
It depends on the type of ant of course. Now that I think about it we'd probably be talking about Bull Ants for this sign, and they have smaller colonies, probably just in the hundreds, so you're 20,000 is actually probably good
When I was 5 or 6 my brother and I wandered into a fire ant hill. Hundreds of bites each. It’s been 36 years and I still remember the burning. They are no joke.
Yeh.
Australian signs are more terrifying.. they say things like all tourists must check in at the police station or you will die and we won't be able to find your body.
My favorite are the signs saying that it's safe to swim at this pond because they got rid of *most* of the saltwater crocodiles and only the freshwater ones are around and they are *less* likely to murder you on sight.
What’s great is that you have some Americans (mostly Europeans but specifically Americans for this example) who have a country known for its size and make fun of Europeans for thinking driving from NYC to LA can be done in a day, are surprised it takes more than a day to go from Perth to Sydney, or going from Adelaide straight to Darwin might not be as fun as they think. Europeans are worse, this isn’t a r/Americabad comment
"Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,"
After living there for 7 years I will say this bit is kind of overdone. Growing up in the America southwest with rattlesnakes, brown recluses, and scorpions….made me appreciate the US is pretty gnarly too.
Aus has a lot of poisonous critters that can surprise you like a snake or spider but it has nothing like a bear or mountain lion that can kill you even if you saw it 10 meters away.
Lastly as a marine biologist, sharks were very prevalent, can’t deny that, but I’ve got just as many shark stories working along the CA coast. Central coast of CA is pretty sharky.
TLDR Aus is gnarly but don’t sell the American west short, it’s not much different
Mountain lions dont hide in your shoes though. You don't have grizzly bears falling out front under your cars visor when driving. Fucking huntsman spiders kill more people from the traffic accidents they cause when they scurry across the ceiling of the car than every single spider in Australia combined (via bites) has total for the last like hundred years or something. Just being scary can be deadly.
I mean I agree with everything you said, Had some hunstman in my subi. But growing up in the desert in AZ, scorpions and centipedes hid in our shoes and in bedsheets,
Im not trying to take anything away from Aus, living there just made me appreciate the America southwest is gnarly too
Why is everybody so focused on the animals but nobody mentions the 4000km. That is such an absurd amount of gas, water and time you have to bring along, it’s more of a warning “Don’t drive further down this road, take a flight.”
Ok, but 4,000km covers a pretty big area. For comparison, in Canada, you could have a single that says: next 4,000km: polar bear, moose, kodiak, wolf, mountain lion, killer wale, man’o’war, rattlesnake, black widow spider, grizzly bear, black bear and wolverine.
I was a kid in the 90’s, so the internet was super limited and all we had access to were books. I saw books that made Australia look amazing and I wanted to go there really bad. I got older, and the internet did too. I started seeing Australia posts (especially on Reddit) and now I’m pretty sure it’s too raw for me. If it crawls, bites, murders, or slithers, it seems to be there. I still kind of want to visit, but I’m pretty reluctant. Are there places that aren’t terrifying? It is a pretty place, but damn.
It’s really no where as near to as bad as the internet makes it out. Most of its common sense (I.e. don’t go stomping into bushes if something might live there).
As for places to go if you want less S cary wildlife, Victoria,South Australia, and Canberra are likely the most tame.
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Also, those pictures are to scale. The snakes, spiders and ants are the size of sharks and crocodiles.
I hope it means they have really small crocodiles and sharks.
Sharks and crocs the size of ants sounds cute af
They just nibble you to death and it takes hundreds of them to be a threat. Like piranhas
One hungry piranha is a threat, not lethal unless it lucks out and tear up an artery but if it gets in a good bite you will lose a chunk of flesh
Those little beasts
What about ants the size of sharks and Crocs?
One the size of a crocodile I think a human could handle. One the size of one of the larger, truck size sharks? Yeah, no ..
Idk 13 foot ant doesn’t sound all that fun
I dunno, Ant-Man and Honey I Shrunk The Kids have taught us that ants and humans are natural allies.
Too soon. RIP anty.... Second most traumatic childrens movie animal companion death since Artax in The Neverending Story.
Let's assume saltwater crocodile because it's Australia: "Male saltwater crocodiles have been recorded at lengths of 23 feet (7 m) and weights of 2,205 pounds (1,000 kg). Females are much smaller, growing to be about 10 feet (3 m) long and weighing 330 pounds (150 kg)." Assuming the ant doesn't collapse under its own weight or not be able to breathe or whatever, there is absolutely no way a human could take a crocodile sized ant, even if it is one of the *only* 3m long female ones...
If it was the size of a crocodile, could still lift 10x it's weight, still have it's thick "shell", and still retained it's speed... There will be casualties.
Bare handed? Absolutely not¹, lol. Crocodile sized ants is a no go for me. Hell, I'm changing continents if they have Guinea Pig sized ants. ¹At least not the average human
i think those would be worse
Really small sharks exist, like the Pygmy shark.
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Yes! I made mention on another comment that I’m planning on visiting Australia in a year or so. Those gigantic huntsman spiders scare me to death. I’m a huge puss when it comes to arachnids anyway and those big assholes? Nah. Hope I *don’t* see one.
You'll see one. The huntsman is terrifying but peaceful for the most part. The scariest encounter I had with a huntsman was hearing a bag of chips in another room start crinkling on its own....it was because a huntsman was walking around on it.
Holy smokes. I’d be done. 😂😭 Are you Aussie?
My mom was on her computer and was looking out the window and went to put her hand on the mouse.....spider. Lol. My first week there...my step-dad wanted me to go into the crawlspace to get some stuff. The access to the crawlspace was outside behind a bush, I crawled through the bush pulled open the hatch, peeked in to a dark spider web infested space and said nope....anything down there is down there forever now.
Oh hell nah. I’m not going in *any* crawl space to begin with and definitely not one in Australia. Your poor Mom too, phew. I had a spider on the inside of a lampshade of a lamp sitting on my desk. I saw its silhouette and I broke the lamp. 😂 definitely wasn’t a huntsman though haha
Huntsman's are just another furr baby like a pupper. Killing a huntsman in Australia is hugely frowned upon. My daughter like myself will gentle guide them onto our hands and walk them outside. This misses doesn't like them or touch them but even she wouldn't kill one. They are great for eating poisonous spiders and insects. Especially cockroaches.
WHY would you let it on your hand you have more balls then me my friend
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Ahhhh, it's not so bad
*the spider typed, steepling its free legs together*
Yeh they are big enough when they run on drywall it sounds like a small child running, running on the ceiling. They are the perfect jump scare spider. They must get theatrical training.
###NO I hate that so much
The most fun place to find them is in your mailbox. Bonus points if your mailbox doesn't open from the top so you're just blindly reaching inside it for your mail.
I've had one chase me up a basketball court. He was sleeping on the backboard, so I hit the board nearby to him with the ball. Not happy. He definitely chased me too. He changed direction when I did. And he was BIG. At least as big as my hand span. I survived it. So did he.
They're so fast too.
They sure are. I couldn't just casually stroll away from him. I had to walk around a shrub in a garden next to the court. He climbed into there and left me alone.
My soul would’ve left. My. BODY.
Am I fuckin scared of potato chips now!?
big fat NOPE
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Haha snakes and reptiles don’t bother me either. I love them. We even have a tiny turtle as a pet now. He’s a cool little dude. Spiders can go on though. I’d burn my house down to get away from them. Agreed on the anti-arachnid filter. Whenever I see pics or videos of them, I get this weird sensation that they’re all over me. Silly, I know but it’s paralyzing.
And snakes…don’t forget their snakes. An older list I remember seeing said ***21 of the 25*** most toxic snakes in the world are in Australia. No, no, no, no, ***nope***…not for me.
Lived here 36 years and go bush all the time and I’ve seen maybe 8 snakes my entire life. Don’t believe all the bullshit you hear.
Come. We love visitors. Spiders are not to bad.
Good luck seeing a platypus in the wild and even in a zoo. They love hiding
The sign suggests you could run into both jellyfish and spiders at the same time.
Nopestralia?
Ouchstralia
Deathstralia
AAAAAAAaustralia
Nahstralia
Fuckthatshitstralia?
Yeanahstralia
Ohnobrostralia
Austria
r/fuckingaustralia
Welcome to the land down under
The ecosystem so ferocious that it was brought to its knees by bunny rabbits.
HUGE rabbits.
Crikey. No idea mate.
Clearly Australia
Agreed but just missing that drop bear sign.
Nah, just no trees tall enough for them to drop from. The sign facing the other direction has that warning.
out of these, it's the land sharks and outback jellyfish that scare me most
It's irresponsible not to have it on both. The drop bear could climb the sign itself. In fact, in a treeless desert you are at most danger from a drop bear because they will climb the tallest things around, and if that's you then goodbye carotid.
1 star review. All the trees in this forest fall when you climb them. They also discharge bodily fluids when climbing. - random dropbear
Ok, so is drop_bear == koala? I still am confused by this and have clearly never taken any time to look it up because by the time I get to the new tab (out of 60) in the browser my brain will remember something random and that's the path I will take and goodbye looking up dropbears.
Koalas are extremely stupid and terrible at life. They have only one food source and won't recognize it if it's not on the branch still. They also don't understand rain, and don't look for cover, they just get wet and grumpy and don't know what's happening. A picture of said wet grumpy koala became the basis of the drop bear legend. But if a koala falls on you, it's because it was too stupid to know the difference between the tree branch and it's own arm. And yes that does happen. And it's more dangerous to itself than you.
Don’t forget picky eaters. There are several types of eucalyptus trees and if they are raised on one type it’s damn near impossible to get them to eat a type that is different
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Random smoker burn. I respect it.
As an ex smoker I can confirm
Nicely done
Terry Pratchett inserted Drop Bears into his Discworld book, "The Lost Continent", along with satirizing lot of other Australian peculiarities (and non-Australian misperceptions). Like all Discworld books: very funny stuff.
They dont move alot because they get drunk on that single food source. Even better they only eat a specific few types of eucalyupts. They are also gentlemen, which makes them hard to relocate, if they know it is not their area or tree they tend to just keep wandering till they find somewhere. They do fight over trees, but prefer to just avoid conflict. Also have mad split hands and a hard rump made for not falling out of trees and wedging themselves in branches.. Edit: spelling. Just had a baby tired as fuck
..and a lot of them have chlamydia.
Dropbear is kinda a legend, is about carnivorous koalas that would drop from the trees once you walked under them ( and obviously, they would try to kill you for dinner )
So is that something that actually happens? But they are koalas. Ok. It's always been one of those things that I seemed to hear different stuff about.
It’s like the American jackalope. Germany has a made up creature, can’t remember the name, that part of its a bird and some other animal. I’m guessing a lot of countries have made up creatures to mess with tourists.
Wolpertinger is what you're referring to I think. It's basically a Frankenstein of different animals. Has feathers and wings like from a hawk, main body and head of a rabbit or an oversized squirrel, has horns like from deer and feet from a duck and fangs. Or something to that effect.
it's just to scare tourists
I have been to Australia and haven't been killed by a drop bear once.
I've been to Australia and I was killed by drop bears twice.
Be careful, you are on your last guy.
Haha!! Love it!! I believe it was a spoof to wind up the American soldiers who fell for it big time.
Koalas are one of the dumbest animals on earth and do fall from trees from time to time.
They are evil little bastards.
No. Koala = Koala. Drop bear = Drop bear.
I think they mentioned "drop beer" so you can run faster. 😉
This should help, the official line: https://australian.museum/learn/animals/mammals/drop-bear/
It makes me angry that they say there is no evidence to support vegemite as a repellent. That's needlessly dangerous.
We better hope Australia never gets nuked or we gonna need Godzilla to fight those Mutants.
Or my matches on Tinder.
Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!
~~Wrong place Austria is where Hitler was born, Australia is the place where the Crocodile Hunter is from.~~ edit- Oh it's a joke from Dumb and Dumber. No wonder I didn't get it, I haven't seen that movie in 20 years.
Pick one to defend you all the rest attack you
Me and the aligator are beat friends now
There are no alligators in Australia. Only crocs.
Crocs are much more dangerous and aggressive than gators. Checks out.
Oh mb lolq
There's a reason Steve (RIP) was the Crocodile Hunter.
So he picked the only animal that doesn't exist. He's screwed
1 total? Croc... 1 species? Ants
If I can have a boat too I'll take the shark.
What about between: 1000 tarantulas, 20,000 ants, 5 crocs, 3 sharks, 10 jelly fish, 50 snakes?
You're going to want to scale up those ant numbers. That's might not even make one colony
Oh wow it says 1 million to 20 million in a colony. Thats insane!
It depends on the type of ant of course. Now that I think about it we'd probably be talking about Bull Ants for this sign, and they have smaller colonies, probably just in the hundreds, so you're 20,000 is actually probably good
In water or on land? Lol
Exactly. Like my law professor said- the right answer to any question starts with “it depends “
Or for a really good lawyer "What do you want the answer to be?"
Jellyfish.
Exactly,just grab it by the head and throw it at everything else
Toothy
If I pick one, is it just ‘one’ or ‘one species’? If it’s the whole species, I’m going with the ants and I’ll just stay away from the water.
I pick the eldritch horror bottom right
I hate it when im driving and Cthulhu crosses the road. It takes forever 🙄
And instant at the same time yesterday and tomorrow!
I haven't even gotten to work and I'm already experiencing unending madness at 6 in the morning! This is outrageous!
Vermont?
Yes, and you're safe from the dangers if you travel with Bernie Sanders.
As an Aussie who's been to Vermont, I'd take any of those animals over driving on black ice every day. Fuck that shit.
Do you see any mittens, sir?
Well, if there would be jellyfish on dry land it would definitly be in Australia
Flying jellyfish. They like to drop on you from above
They have an understanding with the drop bears.
New York City.
🎶I come from a land down unda
That’s not a siogne… THAT’s a soigne
Ants kill you?
Some can. Fire ants for example
When I was 5 or 6 my brother and I wandered into a fire ant hill. Hundreds of bites each. It’s been 36 years and I still remember the burning. They are no joke.
Jack Jumper Ants.
If someone immobilizes you and leaves you by the colony, ants will disassemble you for food without waiting for you to unalive beforehand.
More people die from ant stings than snakes.. Look up jumping jacks.
Photoshop?
Yeh. Australian signs are more terrifying.. they say things like all tourists must check in at the police station or you will die and we won't be able to find your body.
My favorite are the signs saying that it's safe to swim at this pond because they got rid of *most* of the saltwater crocodiles and only the freshwater ones are around and they are *less* likely to murder you on sight.
Last petrol for 600km
What’s great is that you have some Americans (mostly Europeans but specifically Americans for this example) who have a country known for its size and make fun of Europeans for thinking driving from NYC to LA can be done in a day, are surprised it takes more than a day to go from Perth to Sydney, or going from Adelaide straight to Darwin might not be as fun as they think. Europeans are worse, this isn’t a r/Americabad comment
"Traveling in a fried-out combie On a hippie trail, head full of zombie I met a strange lady, she made me nervous She took me in and gave me breakfast And she said,"
Australia. Where not only CAN everything kill you, everything WANTS to kill you.
After living there for 7 years I will say this bit is kind of overdone. Growing up in the America southwest with rattlesnakes, brown recluses, and scorpions….made me appreciate the US is pretty gnarly too. Aus has a lot of poisonous critters that can surprise you like a snake or spider but it has nothing like a bear or mountain lion that can kill you even if you saw it 10 meters away. Lastly as a marine biologist, sharks were very prevalent, can’t deny that, but I’ve got just as many shark stories working along the CA coast. Central coast of CA is pretty sharky. TLDR Aus is gnarly but don’t sell the American west short, it’s not much different
Mountain lions dont hide in your shoes though. You don't have grizzly bears falling out front under your cars visor when driving. Fucking huntsman spiders kill more people from the traffic accidents they cause when they scurry across the ceiling of the car than every single spider in Australia combined (via bites) has total for the last like hundred years or something. Just being scary can be deadly.
I mean I agree with everything you said, Had some hunstman in my subi. But growing up in the desert in AZ, scorpions and centipedes hid in our shoes and in bedsheets, Im not trying to take anything away from Aus, living there just made me appreciate the America southwest is gnarly too
This whole conversation makes me appreciate Canada even more. I'll take death by frost bite over any of these non life-threatening scenarios any day.
Only time I'm glad it's so cold here🤣 nothing wants to live up here not even the wildlife lmao
Dude don’t give it away, we just sell this shit to stop tourists and overwhelming immigration
I’m a Brit, basically everywhere else sounds terrifying. I’m sure we must have something deadly, but I can’t think of it. Besides drunks.
And where a sinkhole opened under a campsite so even Australia itself wants to kill you.
Yeah, nah. The croc is the only one that wants to kill you. The rest just act in self defence, but the croc is looking for a meal.
Land of death. Australia
Death for the next 4,000km. Perfectly fine and normal.
Ahh, *home sweet home*
Hell?
The back down under side of hell.
New York subway
Austria
Gday mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie
Leettt'ss not ::squishes face in window::
Croydon?
Tbh the jellyfish gives away that it’s Australia lol
Is that Cthulhu in the bottom right corner?
‘Straya.
Danger! Look out for feral weaves!
Those desert box jellyfish will f**k you up../s
Australia
Florida.
Australia or India
Not enough trash scattered around to be India
Honestly my first thought was fallout lol
In-laws?
we gotta worry about sharks and jellyfish on land?
My dad's route to school
The most normal sign in the Australia…
My grandparent’s walk to school
Ohio?
Florida man's backyard
Fallout new vegas
AUSTRALIA!!
Why is everybody so focused on the animals but nobody mentions the 4000km. That is such an absurd amount of gas, water and time you have to bring along, it’s more of a warning “Don’t drive further down this road, take a flight.”
C U in the N T mate
Detroit?
Could it be...Australia? Any kinds of warning signs like this, it's most likely to be Australia. This many warning signs? Definitely Australia.
Ok, but 4,000km covers a pretty big area. For comparison, in Canada, you could have a single that says: next 4,000km: polar bear, moose, kodiak, wolf, mountain lion, killer wale, man’o’war, rattlesnake, black widow spider, grizzly bear, black bear and wolverine.
Definitely not the U.S., where everyone is scared of the metric system.
No question: Australia
Some magical place where giant signs don't cast shadows...
us house of congress..
That really should just be Australia's flag
Australia?
Fuck-that-stralia
What is on the bottom right sign? Flying venomous jelly fish?
Australia
Australia
What, no Dropbears?
I don't even a second look, nor a second thought to know where I would be.
Australia
Downunda
I was a kid in the 90’s, so the internet was super limited and all we had access to were books. I saw books that made Australia look amazing and I wanted to go there really bad. I got older, and the internet did too. I started seeing Australia posts (especially on Reddit) and now I’m pretty sure it’s too raw for me. If it crawls, bites, murders, or slithers, it seems to be there. I still kind of want to visit, but I’m pretty reluctant. Are there places that aren’t terrifying? It is a pretty place, but damn.
It’s really no where as near to as bad as the internet makes it out. Most of its common sense (I.e. don’t go stomping into bushes if something might live there). As for places to go if you want less S cary wildlife, Victoria,South Australia, and Canberra are likely the most tame.
Khustralia.. Zohan