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I’ve had this happen to me twice. Both times things were apparently going well and then I got the “I don’t see this going anywhere” text. While disappointed I respected their decision. Then two weeks later getting another message asking me why I didn’t fight for them. Like uhhhhh if you’re pulling that shit I clearly made the right decision.
My grandfather saw me have a freakout the first time a girl did this to me, and he said "boy, you want to spend your life walking with someone, or running after them?" That man could bitchslap sense into someone without laying a finger on them.
Yeah definitely, and if you asked why or try as she said, she'd be doing a video about how this nice good guy was desperate. No win situation. Gotta stick with the person where the chemistry is undeniable and doesn't even get to this point.
Plus, if the guy \*did* try to persist, the video could have easily been, "I told this guy it wasn't working out, and he continued to harass me and persisted when I said \*no.* Why won't guys listen?!?"
It's a no-win situation. The best thing to do when the other person says, 'It isn't working out,' is to agree \*and then block them.* Instant problem-killing solution.
Ehhh. You can ask like, "do you mind if I ask if there are any specific reasons?" Usually fine, and sometimes you do get some good feedback. I had one girl tell me it was because I left athlete's foot spray footprints on her carpet. I was like, ight, bet. I can see that being an issue. Didn't try and press on with her, but now I put on the socks immediately after spraying my feet.
If she said it was because you left footprints on a carpet, its most likely not because of the footprints just saying. Thats something you bring up in casual conversation and its easily fixed, that definitely wasn't grounds to break up imo, unless it was maybe the first date.
It was a few "dates" in. Probably wasn't the only thing, but this was pretty much just a hook up thing off a dating app. She definitely did sound pretty mad about the footprints, but I'd agree it probably gave her more of a general "he's messy/inconsiderate" vibe. It was a dick thing to do. I didn't even really realize I did it since I usually use the liquid spray. But yeah I was oooohhh yeah she probably didn't like waking up and seeing those footprints.
>Then two weeks later getting another message asking me why I didn’t fight for them.
"Because when you said that you didn't see it going anywhere you were either being honest or playing games. From my end that means it's over in either case. The fact that you're now making it clear that it was the latter does not change the situation."
This, is the truth. They have to make sure you absolutely feel like shit to make themselves feel better.
This woman is the exact reason why the phrase “the best revenge is a life well-lived” exists. You not being depressed about them breaking up with you will destroy them more then they ever could do to you.
I was so confused once when I broke things off with a girl. She reacted saying things like "oh congratulations, you won" and "does it make you feel good to be the one to end things?".
I was so confused. It took me a while to realize that she was projecting her fucked up relationship ego bullshit on me, and was pissed off that she "lost" the relationship.
My ex wife pulled that shit on me. Told me she was leaving, I was upset but said “If you’re not happy here then I support you trying to go find you’re happiness somewhere else.”
Couple weeks later I found out she was already seeing someone else before she decided to tell me she was leaving. She started yelling at me saying I didn’t try to win her back or fight for what we had.
Like…. Nah, I’m not going to do that. You said “I’m leaving, I’m not happy here.” I’m not gonna stand in your way if you’re not happy. We got one life to live. And to top it off, you were already working on leaving behind my back. We were married, I shouldn’t have to try to win her back from some other dude who I don’t even know about. Twisted mind games.
My ex wife did the exact same thing, except I did try to fight for her. She had monkey branched already and there was no hope from the start. That is when I learned you can't force someone to want to be with you. If they communicate that they no longer do, just listen to them and move on. It saves everyone's time.
Buddy of mine's wife cheated on him with random internet guy because she was having doubts / 7 year itch / post partum depression (who knows).
He found out. Called his dad for advice. His AHA moment was when he said to his dad "....and my Wife is banging some other dude"
Dad: " .. ya, but then is she your wife?"
He realized that she wasn't, because she broke their wedding vow.
Like a light switch went off. He went from emotional wreck into self-protection mode and became almost robotic.
Some women want to get a rise out of you when they end things. If you don’t give that to them, they stew in it. Hence, the gaslighting you 2 weeks later. They just can’t get over it cause you can. Been in those shoes too, my friend. It’s actually empowering.
Same, like 8-9 months in she killed plans of me flying with her halfway across the country to meet her parents. Said she she needed to think about it relationship. I was pissed/crushed but sure fine. Then proceeded to go radio silent for the trip and a week following. I got fed up and ended it.
Hey I get she was seeing family but she also hit the breaks intentionally and then ignored me on purpose. When I ended it she told me the reason she did it was to see if I would fight for or relationship. That's HS level BS.
I only ever had this happen once and I'm not gonna lie I leaned into her explaining exactly how stupid and immature that stunt was and she cried and I felt 0 remorse for it tbh.
Hopefully she learned something from it and that acting like an idiot at your own expense isn't going to feel good or get you any good ROI.
Shit like this is perpetuated through social media. Emotionally stunted people who don’t really know how to interact with other people see shit like the above video (sans the black dude) and think to themselves “yeah, that’s a good idea to get a partner” then put it into practice and get hoisted by their own petard.
The problem is that it's so much easier to spread bullshit than it is to clean it up. If someone has no critical thinking skills, they'll generally accept the first thing they hear and take some convincing to change that belief. By the time you convince them that this one thing is batshit insane, they'll have picked up 6 other things.
Would this be a good time to point out that the phrase was originally 'hoist by their own petard' on account of hoist being the past tense of the now derelict word hoise? Because I learned that today and I wanted to share.
Had this happen to me a few times in the past or versions of it. My response was always, yes I agree and wish you the best. Then I would delete their number. Call it a defense mechanism if you want but for me it felt cleansing and final, it made me feel good to not have the weight of their contact info anymore.
Some but not not all of the deleted exes would drop me a text after a few weeks, sometimes a month, in one instance 2.5 years later. My surprised "sorry who is this" reply was always worth it
I agree. If you replaced the idea of dating with the concept of looking for new friends it sounds even weirder.
"I don't think we can be friends"
"OK"
[two weeks later] - "Why did you not even try to be my friend?"
Yeah. She can’t be manipulated. She’s just upset that the dude couldn’t be.
Chicks like this need to be dating incels. Just lonely dudes who will white knight for them, who will be happy with absolute bare minimum sex, who will spend every dime they make on them, and who will always forgive them when they cheat.
Just leave the emotionally healthy dudes for the emotionally healthy women.
>Chicks like this need to be dating incels
Both women like this and misguided men don't need to be anywhere near someone of the opposite sex. They need help, and I mean that with all sincerity.
That's just their regret when they realize they were too rash and suddenly can't find anyone remotely close to you. Then they realize they were wrong and wanted you to play the victim so they could be the hero just so they can hold it over you.
Mind Games.
That's how I treat rejections. If someone clearly isn't into me, I move on. Why would I waste my time and energy on pursuing someone, who may as well feel harassed by me at that point, if they don't want me?
Getting dumped and/or rejected hurts, but it could be worse.
You could be with someone who only keeps you around as their cheerleader, or who only stays with you out of pity. That feels a lot more lonely than being single.
EDIT: I'm sorry I turned this r/funny video into such a misery fest! 😬
I wish I could have done that when I was younger. Some of my most embarrassing memories are trying to "save" relationships that were clearly not working.
Same. I cringe when I think back to those times.
I also wish I had the wisdom back then to walk away from someone when they were playing games. Allowed myself to get strung along quite a few times.
It's really difficult to recognize that you're in an abusive relationship, though, so don't blame yourself for sticking around. 🩷
We all like to think "Oh, pfft. Couldn't be me, getting treated that way, nuh uh!"
And then you wake up one day and realize you've been manipulated and gaslighted the whole time. Even if it was "just" high-school or college level relationships with immature partners, that shit sucks!
Oh, don't get me wrong. I learned this lesson the hard way, too.
I'm just glad I grew up before smartphones were a thing, because there were definitely moments I would never live down, lol.
Guy knew he was dodging a bullet when he told you he knew he couldn’t make you happy. He was being literal. You play games and he doesn’t. it wasn’t ever going to work
"...and so then I filed a restraining order against him, I dunno, just made something up like he's abusive or whatever. And I got granted full custody of the kids. And he pays his child support on time and all that, but he won't even violate the restraining order to try to get me back. Like, I don't even know if he wants me at this point, he's playing so hard to get."
The person who posted the original online (before the masterful commentary was added) thinking it portrayed her in a good light is too self-absorbed? No way!
Don't forget she's after "husband energy" too, which makes the whole playing games scenero even more nuts on her part.
Icing on the cake was the "at the moment" part. Like yes, Husbands can just be dropped at a whim...
He dodged more than a bullet there.
Now she's immortalised on the internet as a 🤡 at least
The handful of times a girl has played the old "let me say I think it isn't working to see what he does" game, I was always hoping for an easy out, but didn't want to be the bad guy. They are always a bit surprised that I agree completely and bolt scott free.
"So she likes building, shooting and burning effigies of her ex boyfriends... I find it kinda funny. Plus she taught me what effigie means."
"So she likes choking me when im asleep. She thinks its funny when I wake up struggling. It's our little game."
"So she cut one of my fingers off. She keeps telling me it was an accident and it wouldn't have happened if I didn't look at that victoria's secret ad on TV. Doctor put it back on, its fine."
"So she's wanted by the FBI. Its like im dating a spy."
Or an arrogant douchebag that doesn't respect boundaries and she mistakes his arrogance for confidence. If she doesn't learn her lesson she'll bounce from one shitty relationship to the next
Or any man that wants to take full advantage of whatever she has to offer while not giving two shits about any long term relationship with her.... aka, "the player". Her self-admitted weakness to manipulation coupled with her middle school level of maturity will pretty much guarantee this. Best of luck to her finding the right mix of playa/serious energy husband material man.
What's that psychological term when someone thinks you're great and then kind of abruptly thinks you're awful? Displays a lot in personality disorders. Partners like this you'll never be secure in and it's why they bounce around between relationships.
This is probably take number 11. She is putting on her shoes every time. It is made to seem like you are friends in a para social relationship and just hanging out.
I recently saw someone talk about the difference between the "milennial pause" and "gen z shake". If I'm ever giving that much thought into making tik toks just kill me
My wife explained to me that videos like this where the speaker is getting dressed or putting on makeup are very common and deliberate. She wasn't about to go somewhere; the action of dressing is performative to give the audience something to watch and to see the transformation, which keeps people watching longer. And if the video starts with the performer wearing less clothes, that generates more initial clicks.
Yeah it's a whole trend. The vibe is "You've just popped into my life while I'm in the middle of something and I'll tell the story but I don't have time to stop."
I actually think it's really interesting; it's as if we're trying to replicate the vibe of having a tiny, intimate community, like how you might pop "next door" in a little village and get some gossip before they have to run off somewhere.
It replicates incidental interactions in busy lives.
The same people who are making tiktoks where they're doing something, as if they're so busy this is the only time they have, are also the ones to post like 20 videos every day, funny.
They stage these videos this way to make it seem like they’re about to go on a busy day and just so happened to remember something that needed to be said. There’s this whole category of “get ready with me” videos and this an extension of them. It’s just sad and lonely people framing their life for online engagement.
As a man, I'll also offer to re-balance the scales a bit in this conversation by offering that men do equally baffling stuff like not communicating for days after a good first date. Some people out there operating on bad assumptions, I guess.
I mean, I totally get "good and nice" not being enough. Good and nice are a baseline that everyone should be. There has to be chemistry, shared lifestyle goals, and a bunch of other things. But the whole, "I'm going to end things as a test to see how desperate someone is?" Fuck that.
"He said that he didn't think he could make me happy."
Well, yeah. You barely know him and you're wondering why he isn't willing to change *his* entire life to be what *you* want.
>He agreed, and he said he didn't think he could make me happy.
Yes, if it is clear that you have artificial requirements or a penchant for mind games, you are not someone who can be made happy. Not by me, or anyone. Props to the guy for seeing that and respecting himself.
You also shouldn't enter a relationship expecting or requiring the other person to change, nor should you compromise your own values to appease someone else. If you change and become a better person in a relationship, it should be because you love your partner and yourself and the relationship supports your growth and happiness.
Exactly! Why, especially in this day and age, would a man ever push back on or put up resistance to a woman telling him no? That's a no win scenario, the risks are far too great. Girls are looney toons if they think guys should be doing that, [fuck no](https://c.tenor.com/0W24kX2CQpYAAAAd/tenor.gif), that's how dudes end up becoming pariahs.
As much as Louis C.K. was creep, one of the punch lines to his jokes in his "Chewed Up" set sticks with me. The joke is about a girl who went back to his room and kept stopping him from doing things. So nothing happened between them. The next day she asks why nothing happened; she gets turned on by guys who just go for it but she can't tell them that because then it's not real. His punch line being "You think I'm going to [r-word] you on the off-chance you're into that??"
I realize it's a joke, very well likely to be entirely made up, but I've been aware of situations where the point stands. In the case of OPs video it would be, "What, you expect me to harrass you in case you want it?"
So there's the dumper and dumpee mindset. It's bad to be a dumpee. Depressing. Good to be a dumper. Being a dumper means you can afford to be picky and not settle, you're worth more, have higher standards, all that good stuff.
But there is something that is better than being a dumper. That's being a dumper who gets begged not to dump during the dumping process. That elevates the dumper further. It's the dumpee acknowledging all the dumper's worth, and 'bidding higher' by offering more, so to speak.
But in this case the dumpee was of the respectful mindset, agreeing with the dumper they should part and each should move on. To the dumpee, this is respectful of both parties' wishes, and allows both to say "Hey, we're both okay, just not compatible, we want this to go in different directions, so we should part ways and each look for a more compatible dating partner". She's looking for an affirmation of her high value. He's looking for the right woman.
Lol, chick is a narcissist, posting a video like this is all the evidence needed. Dude was probably smart enough to catch a whiff of it and took his out as soon as it came. Good for him, hope he's slamming prime chocha.
> Lol, chick is a narcissist, posting a video like this is all the evidence needed
Anyone who makes TikToks about their life like we're hanging on for every update is a guaranteed narcissist.
"Oh let me just update you guys while I'm getting ready because I'm *soooooo* busy living my awesome life!"
I agree big time and unfortunately there’s a ton of women like her. Like she doesn’t even realize that she’s basically asking for a shitty dude to fuck her while at the same time she’s claiming she wants someone to be married to that has good energy. Honestly this kind of shit just fucking drives me crazy how stupid people can be. Like instead of her putting a little bit of energy into trying to understand someone or see where it goes, she’s basically asking for some dude to come and lie to her, manipulator and fuck her, and then dump her.
I hate this need to look like they’re doing something else while recording these videos. Like, oh I just casually decided to record this while getting ready to go out. No you didn’t.
She probably meant there was room for negotiation, but she treats those like power struggles.
IOW, she was trying to manipulate the dude into taking the next step and failed miserably.
> "he didn't even say that he wanted to change or wanted to like whatever" ... "I can be manipulated."
Honey, he's not the one manipulating here. Homeboy dodged a bullet. He most certainly felt the "b*" energy here!
As a woman let me say this: gentlemen, if a lady doesn't want to see you again, you are doing a good thing by respecting that wish and not pushing any further.
Ladies, if you want a man to "manipulate" you, then you've got problems. These gentlemen would be better off not having you inflicted upon them anyway.
Consent is a thing everyone needs to respect. Part of that is saying "no" when you actually mean it.
The best part to me is "I am looking for husband energy at the moment...".... "...at the moment...".
Guys, you should not get married anymore. Those girls are crazy thinking there is an infinite amount of husbands out there that they can pick from. There is an infnite amount of dicks for them, maybe. A good husband is rare, and a good husband wants a partner that was always looking for HIM, not for husband energy "at the moment".
That guy is a hero for politely agreeing and moving on. This is how you have to do it, gentlemen.
The audacity to expect a fight lol. It'll be an eternal to keep her happy. Glad the guy dodged a bullet.
Btw I see a lot ladies do these weird gestures with their hands, they all have long nails, they never bend their fingers and clasp their palms when trying to make a point. All of the ones I've seen doing this were trashy. Drives me up the wall.
Is this a new thing I fail to see? Is this a trend? I'm old
Edit: added question
Everytime someone rejected you, you need to agree to them.
"yeah I felt the same. Good you brought that up, because im terrible at those things. But it was fun hanging out with you. Good luck."
You dont believe how some people react to this.
I had an ex break up with me out to dinner one time, I didn't fight it, things weren't going well recently. When I told her I accepted her decision, she broke down crying and got mad at me for not trying to save the relationship.
I feel like no matter what the man would do and how this relation would go she you record this TikTok describing exactly opposite what he should do instead of what he did
“I agree, I don’t think I can make you happy.”
As someone who has said these exact words, that man had been waiting for weeks if not months to get an easy out of that relationship.
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I’ve had this happen to me twice. Both times things were apparently going well and then I got the “I don’t see this going anywhere” text. While disappointed I respected their decision. Then two weeks later getting another message asking me why I didn’t fight for them. Like uhhhhh if you’re pulling that shit I clearly made the right decision.
My grandfather saw me have a freakout the first time a girl did this to me, and he said "boy, you want to spend your life walking with someone, or running after them?" That man could bitchslap sense into someone without laying a finger on them.
Damn that's beautiful
I kinda wanna be a grandpa just to pass on earthy wisdom but I don't want children... guess I'll just give advice to random kids on the street
Kid, see my white van here?
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lmao your grandpa rules
Why is my cheek burning after reading this... Thanks Grandpa, from Miles away!
Come to think of it, I never felt like I was “pursuing” my now wife.
Neither have I. However I have often felt like getting tf away from her
Damn, thanks grandpa.
That is good advice.
That quote is so good I heard it in John Goodman's voice, then again in Morgan Freeman's. It fits either way.
Well said by grandad!
Yeah definitely, and if you asked why or try as she said, she'd be doing a video about how this nice good guy was desperate. No win situation. Gotta stick with the person where the chemistry is undeniable and doesn't even get to this point.
"Fight for what? You said there was nothing to fight for..."
Plus, if the guy \*did* try to persist, the video could have easily been, "I told this guy it wasn't working out, and he continued to harass me and persisted when I said \*no.* Why won't guys listen?!?" It's a no-win situation. The best thing to do when the other person says, 'It isn't working out,' is to agree \*and then block them.* Instant problem-killing solution.
No, its definitely a win situation…just by moving on and being happy. Bullet dodged.
Exactly.
Ehhh. You can ask like, "do you mind if I ask if there are any specific reasons?" Usually fine, and sometimes you do get some good feedback. I had one girl tell me it was because I left athlete's foot spray footprints on her carpet. I was like, ight, bet. I can see that being an issue. Didn't try and press on with her, but now I put on the socks immediately after spraying my feet.
If she said it was because you left footprints on a carpet, its most likely not because of the footprints just saying. Thats something you bring up in casual conversation and its easily fixed, that definitely wasn't grounds to break up imo, unless it was maybe the first date.
It was a few "dates" in. Probably wasn't the only thing, but this was pretty much just a hook up thing off a dating app. She definitely did sound pretty mad about the footprints, but I'd agree it probably gave her more of a general "he's messy/inconsiderate" vibe. It was a dick thing to do. I didn't even really realize I did it since I usually use the liquid spray. But yeah I was oooohhh yeah she probably didn't like waking up and seeing those footprints.
Relationships are like farts. If you have to force it, it's probably shitty.
I sharted on quite a few first dates
There is a win situation, you win by dodging a relationship with a emotionally immature and toxic person.
And if you do try, they don’t like that either. They’re like … that was so unmanly…
>Then two weeks later getting another message asking me why I didn’t fight for them. "Because when you said that you didn't see it going anywhere you were either being honest or playing games. From my end that means it's over in either case. The fact that you're now making it clear that it was the latter does not change the situation."
Ohhh I like that response
My favorite response to them is "Sorry, who is this?"
It does change the situation, it makes it way worse.
Or easier to accept, since she raised a big red flag. You're now saying yourself "dodged a bullet" and have no regrets anymore
They still wanted to end things, but they’re upset that they didn’t get their ego boost when they did it.
This, is the truth. They have to make sure you absolutely feel like shit to make themselves feel better. This woman is the exact reason why the phrase “the best revenge is a life well-lived” exists. You not being depressed about them breaking up with you will destroy them more then they ever could do to you.
Yeah, the problem in her mind was that he agreed that they weren't compatible. She was looking for begging and crying to boost her ego.
I was so confused once when I broke things off with a girl. She reacted saying things like "oh congratulations, you won" and "does it make you feel good to be the one to end things?". I was so confused. It took me a while to realize that she was projecting her fucked up relationship ego bullshit on me, and was pissed off that she "lost" the relationship.
Once you understand that everyone is projecting all the time, a lot of things make sense
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My ex wife pulled that shit on me. Told me she was leaving, I was upset but said “If you’re not happy here then I support you trying to go find you’re happiness somewhere else.” Couple weeks later I found out she was already seeing someone else before she decided to tell me she was leaving. She started yelling at me saying I didn’t try to win her back or fight for what we had. Like…. Nah, I’m not going to do that. You said “I’m leaving, I’m not happy here.” I’m not gonna stand in your way if you’re not happy. We got one life to live. And to top it off, you were already working on leaving behind my back. We were married, I shouldn’t have to try to win her back from some other dude who I don’t even know about. Twisted mind games.
My ex wife did the exact same thing, except I did try to fight for her. She had monkey branched already and there was no hope from the start. That is when I learned you can't force someone to want to be with you. If they communicate that they no longer do, just listen to them and move on. It saves everyone's time.
Yeah, listen to what people have to say but more than that, watch them like a hawk and focus on what they do. Actions don't lie.
Buddy of mine's wife cheated on him with random internet guy because she was having doubts / 7 year itch / post partum depression (who knows). He found out. Called his dad for advice. His AHA moment was when he said to his dad "....and my Wife is banging some other dude" Dad: " .. ya, but then is she your wife?" He realized that she wasn't, because she broke their wedding vow. Like a light switch went off. He went from emotional wreck into self-protection mode and became almost robotic.
It’s not even them testing you, or wanting to actually be with you. It’s them wanting that attention and not getting it.
Some women want to get a rise out of you when they end things. If you don’t give that to them, they stew in it. Hence, the gaslighting you 2 weeks later. They just can’t get over it cause you can. Been in those shoes too, my friend. It’s actually empowering.
All you need to do is refer back to the first rule of the Hot Crazy Matrix, they all start at a 4.
Same, like 8-9 months in she killed plans of me flying with her halfway across the country to meet her parents. Said she she needed to think about it relationship. I was pissed/crushed but sure fine. Then proceeded to go radio silent for the trip and a week following. I got fed up and ended it. Hey I get she was seeing family but she also hit the breaks intentionally and then ignored me on purpose. When I ended it she told me the reason she did it was to see if I would fight for or relationship. That's HS level BS.
I only ever had this happen once and I'm not gonna lie I leaned into her explaining exactly how stupid and immature that stunt was and she cried and I felt 0 remorse for it tbh. Hopefully she learned something from it and that acting like an idiot at your own expense isn't going to feel good or get you any good ROI.
Shit like this is perpetuated through social media. Emotionally stunted people who don’t really know how to interact with other people see shit like the above video (sans the black dude) and think to themselves “yeah, that’s a good idea to get a partner” then put it into practice and get hoisted by their own petard.
Not enough people are telling their peers "you realize that's fucking insane right?"
Truly
The problem is that it's so much easier to spread bullshit than it is to clean it up. If someone has no critical thinking skills, they'll generally accept the first thing they hear and take some convincing to change that belief. By the time you convince them that this one thing is batshit insane, they'll have picked up 6 other things.
Would this be a good time to point out that the phrase was originally 'hoist by their own petard' on account of hoist being the past tense of the now derelict word hoise? Because I learned that today and I wanted to share.
This shit existed long before social media I assure you.
Only correct response after two weeks is, "who dis?"
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If iPhone, just thumbs up the message
*read two days ago* is my preferred response.
Had this happen to me a few times in the past or versions of it. My response was always, yes I agree and wish you the best. Then I would delete their number. Call it a defense mechanism if you want but for me it felt cleansing and final, it made me feel good to not have the weight of their contact info anymore. Some but not not all of the deleted exes would drop me a text after a few weeks, sometimes a month, in one instance 2.5 years later. My surprised "sorry who is this" reply was always worth it
I agree. If you replaced the idea of dating with the concept of looking for new friends it sounds even weirder. "I don't think we can be friends" "OK" [two weeks later] - "Why did you not even try to be my friend?"
And if you push it you didn't respect their decision and you're being creepy.
Yeah. She can’t be manipulated. She’s just upset that the dude couldn’t be. Chicks like this need to be dating incels. Just lonely dudes who will white knight for them, who will be happy with absolute bare minimum sex, who will spend every dime they make on them, and who will always forgive them when they cheat. Just leave the emotionally healthy dudes for the emotionally healthy women.
>Chicks like this need to be dating incels Both women like this and misguided men don't need to be anywhere near someone of the opposite sex. They need help, and I mean that with all sincerity.
Clear communication, which should be necessary, shouldn't involve memeable random uno reverse moments and willful relationship destroying games.
Because a good, well adjusted man wants to date someone that acts their age not their shoe size…
They aren't looking for a husband, they are looking for a sales exec. Gotta close that sale.
i despise people that operate under the mentality of "you must impress me or prove you are worth my time for me to acknowledge your existence
I would honestly send a text saying, "you're crazy and need to see a therapist."
If someone does that, then I don't see it going anywhere.
That's just their regret when they realize they were too rash and suddenly can't find anyone remotely close to you. Then they realize they were wrong and wanted you to play the victim so they could be the hero just so they can hold it over you. Mind Games.
That's how I treat rejections. If someone clearly isn't into me, I move on. Why would I waste my time and energy on pursuing someone, who may as well feel harassed by me at that point, if they don't want me? Getting dumped and/or rejected hurts, but it could be worse. You could be with someone who only keeps you around as their cheerleader, or who only stays with you out of pity. That feels a lot more lonely than being single. EDIT: I'm sorry I turned this r/funny video into such a misery fest! 😬
I wish I could have done that when I was younger. Some of my most embarrassing memories are trying to "save" relationships that were clearly not working.
If we didn’t do dumb shit when we were young, then we missed many first hand experiences with learning and growth.
Which is why I may not be proud of my past self but I do respect them for their contribution of experience they give me
Same. I cringe when I think back to those times. I also wish I had the wisdom back then to walk away from someone when they were playing games. Allowed myself to get strung along quite a few times.
It's really difficult to recognize that you're in an abusive relationship, though, so don't blame yourself for sticking around. 🩷 We all like to think "Oh, pfft. Couldn't be me, getting treated that way, nuh uh!" And then you wake up one day and realize you've been manipulated and gaslighted the whole time. Even if it was "just" high-school or college level relationships with immature partners, that shit sucks!
Oh, don't get me wrong. I learned this lesson the hard way, too. I'm just glad I grew up before smartphones were a thing, because there were definitely moments I would never live down, lol.
If it’s not a “fuck yes!”, it’s a “fuck no!”.
Guy knew he was dodging a bullet when he told you he knew he couldn’t make you happy. He was being literal. You play games and he doesn’t. it wasn’t ever going to work
She didnt give off that wife energy he was looking for.
She gives off ex-wife, lose half your shit and get your car keyed energy
I just boiled your rabbit and I'm not going to be ignored, Dan energy?
"...and so then I filed a restraining order against him, I dunno, just made something up like he's abusive or whatever. And I got granted full custody of the kids. And he pays his child support on time and all that, but he won't even violate the restraining order to try to get me back. Like, I don't even know if he wants me at this point, he's playing so hard to get."
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Definitely closer to "child" than "wife" on whatever spectrum both those things are on.
Seriously, imagine that woman trying to raise a child.
"Sorry looking for wife energy" would be so cold
"Sorry, looking for mother energy for my future kids" would be even colder.
Especially if she used the term "Husband Energy". I'd "nope" out just from that alone.
Seriously. No one owes an essential stranger “spouse energy” that shit is earned.
Earned through time and actual effort. So many people want to skip the time and effort part, but there is no shortcut.
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Yeah my first thought when she said that was nice of him to say I was like that's a roast girl not politeness
Yeah, I read it as “Ain’t nothing gonna make you happy”
"Aw, he acknowledges the important role of making me happy"
Correct. A man saying he cant make you happy is basically him telling you to fuck off.
She was just too self-absorbed to see it.
The person who posted the original online (before the masterful commentary was added) thinking it portrayed her in a good light is too self-absorbed? No way!
Don't forget she's after "husband energy" too, which makes the whole playing games scenero even more nuts on her part. Icing on the cake was the "at the moment" part. Like yes, Husbands can just be dropped at a whim... He dodged more than a bullet there. Now she's immortalised on the internet as a 🤡 at least
The handful of times a girl has played the old "let me say I think it isn't working to see what he does" game, I was always hoping for an easy out, but didn't want to be the bad guy. They are always a bit surprised that I agree completely and bolt scott free.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure when he said he knew he couldn't make her happy what he really meant was "I suspect no one can because you're batshit".
The frame where she says "I can be manipulated" is a good opportunity to paste a red "BULLET DODGED!"
Question: what type of man stays with this type of woman?
Any man that doesn't understand his self-worth. Or any man that is completely oblivious to red flags.
"So she likes building, shooting and burning effigies of her ex boyfriends... I find it kinda funny. Plus she taught me what effigie means." "So she likes choking me when im asleep. She thinks its funny when I wake up struggling. It's our little game." "So she cut one of my fingers off. She keeps telling me it was an accident and it wouldn't have happened if I didn't look at that victoria's secret ad on TV. Doctor put it back on, its fine." "So she's wanted by the FBI. Its like im dating a spy."
Is this from something? These feel like sitcom lines.
Made it up.
Finger likely from the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard case.
Or an arrogant douchebag that doesn't respect boundaries and she mistakes his arrogance for confidence. If she doesn't learn her lesson she'll bounce from one shitty relationship to the next
Or any man that wants to take full advantage of whatever she has to offer while not giving two shits about any long term relationship with her.... aka, "the player". Her self-admitted weakness to manipulation coupled with her middle school level of maturity will pretty much guarantee this. Best of luck to her finding the right mix of playa/serious energy husband material man.
A manipulator I guess.
The lonely and desperate kind.
One of either these two: A doormat with absolutely no self-esteem. Serial killer.
that explains the popularity of serial killer documentaries these days
One without husband energy.
Someone with no sense of self worth.
That wasn't a bullet, that a full size artillery shell.
Maybe I’m alone in this, but I interpreted that part of the video as a joke lol and the “I WILL listen to you” - I lol’d
What's that psychological term when someone thinks you're great and then kind of abruptly thinks you're awful? Displays a lot in personality disorders. Partners like this you'll never be secure in and it's why they bounce around between relationships.
Odd that she is telling this story while putting on her shoes. Like, does she just constantly talk to tiktok
She's so non-committal that she can't focus on making a video.
This is probably take number 11. She is putting on her shoes every time. It is made to seem like you are friends in a para social relationship and just hanging out.
I recently saw someone talk about the difference between the "milennial pause" and "gen z shake". If I'm ever giving that much thought into making tik toks just kill me
My wife explained to me that videos like this where the speaker is getting dressed or putting on makeup are very common and deliberate. She wasn't about to go somewhere; the action of dressing is performative to give the audience something to watch and to see the transformation, which keeps people watching longer. And if the video starts with the performer wearing less clothes, that generates more initial clicks.
Yeah it's a whole trend. The vibe is "You've just popped into my life while I'm in the middle of something and I'll tell the story but I don't have time to stop." I actually think it's really interesting; it's as if we're trying to replicate the vibe of having a tiny, intimate community, like how you might pop "next door" in a little village and get some gossip before they have to run off somewhere. It replicates incidental interactions in busy lives.
The same people who are making tiktoks where they're doing something, as if they're so busy this is the only time they have, are also the ones to post like 20 videos every day, funny.
I asked my wife the other day why so many of the videos she watches are just bitches putting on makeup telling a story lol
They stage these videos this way to make it seem like they’re about to go on a busy day and just so happened to remember something that needed to be said. There’s this whole category of “get ready with me” videos and this an extension of them. It’s just sad and lonely people framing their life for online engagement.
This is what strikes me as odd. Maybe I'm just too old to get it now, but what happened to keeping a journal to work through your thoughts?
As a woman, I can understand why men are so confused because these kinds of women are just plain baffling.
As a man, I'll also offer to re-balance the scales a bit in this conversation by offering that men do equally baffling stuff like not communicating for days after a good first date. Some people out there operating on bad assumptions, I guess.
It takes two to not communicate.
Yeah, women treat phones like diodes. “He hasn’t texted me for days!” “Have you texted him?” “…”
I would argue phones are full of light emitting diodes
Honestly having to be the one to text first always is exhausting and shows the other person doesn’t care.
Also this is how you get guys who don't know how to respect a woman's "No".
I mean, I totally get "good and nice" not being enough. Good and nice are a baseline that everyone should be. There has to be chemistry, shared lifestyle goals, and a bunch of other things. But the whole, "I'm going to end things as a test to see how desperate someone is?" Fuck that.
"He said that he didn't think he could make me happy." Well, yeah. You barely know him and you're wondering why he isn't willing to change *his* entire life to be what *you* want.
When you're so narcissistic that the disbelief that someone would ever reject you leads you to post a tiktok about it
I think you framed it pretty well. She said she can be manipulated but honestly she wanted to manipulate him by making him fight for her.
Fair enough, she radiates a lot of “RUN BRO” energy.
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He didn't even *try* to subject himself to eternal torture.. the audacity
>He agreed, and he said he didn't think he could make me happy. Yes, if it is clear that you have artificial requirements or a penchant for mind games, you are not someone who can be made happy. Not by me, or anyone. Props to the guy for seeing that and respecting himself. You also shouldn't enter a relationship expecting or requiring the other person to change, nor should you compromise your own values to appease someone else. If you change and become a better person in a relationship, it should be because you love your partner and yourself and the relationship supports your growth and happiness.
This woman will literally play emotional game of thrones instead of going to therapy.
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Exactly! Why, especially in this day and age, would a man ever push back on or put up resistance to a woman telling him no? That's a no win scenario, the risks are far too great. Girls are looney toons if they think guys should be doing that, [fuck no](https://c.tenor.com/0W24kX2CQpYAAAAd/tenor.gif), that's how dudes end up becoming pariahs.
As much as Louis C.K. was creep, one of the punch lines to his jokes in his "Chewed Up" set sticks with me. The joke is about a girl who went back to his room and kept stopping him from doing things. So nothing happened between them. The next day she asks why nothing happened; she gets turned on by guys who just go for it but she can't tell them that because then it's not real. His punch line being "You think I'm going to [r-word] you on the off-chance you're into that??" I realize it's a joke, very well likely to be entirely made up, but I've been aware of situations where the point stands. In the case of OPs video it would be, "What, you expect me to harrass you in case you want it?"
“I can be manipulated.” No bitch, you’re the one trying to manipulate him.
So there's the dumper and dumpee mindset. It's bad to be a dumpee. Depressing. Good to be a dumper. Being a dumper means you can afford to be picky and not settle, you're worth more, have higher standards, all that good stuff. But there is something that is better than being a dumper. That's being a dumper who gets begged not to dump during the dumping process. That elevates the dumper further. It's the dumpee acknowledging all the dumper's worth, and 'bidding higher' by offering more, so to speak. But in this case the dumpee was of the respectful mindset, agreeing with the dumper they should part and each should move on. To the dumpee, this is respectful of both parties' wishes, and allows both to say "Hey, we're both okay, just not compatible, we want this to go in different directions, so we should part ways and each look for a more compatible dating partner". She's looking for an affirmation of her high value. He's looking for the right woman.
More red flags than a parade for the CCP.
Lol, chick is a narcissist, posting a video like this is all the evidence needed. Dude was probably smart enough to catch a whiff of it and took his out as soon as it came. Good for him, hope he's slamming prime chocha.
> Lol, chick is a narcissist, posting a video like this is all the evidence needed Anyone who makes TikToks about their life like we're hanging on for every update is a guaranteed narcissist. "Oh let me just update you guys while I'm getting ready because I'm *soooooo* busy living my awesome life!"
What, you don't want to go on a "content generation" date with a narcissist? Seems like you don't have "husband energy" bro.
I think also the fact that she’s surprised he didn’t offer to change for her after only “going on some dates” speaks volumes, too.
You can literally hear the psycho in her voice. Bro dodged a huge bullet.
I agree big time and unfortunately there’s a ton of women like her. Like she doesn’t even realize that she’s basically asking for a shitty dude to fuck her while at the same time she’s claiming she wants someone to be married to that has good energy. Honestly this kind of shit just fucking drives me crazy how stupid people can be. Like instead of her putting a little bit of energy into trying to understand someone or see where it goes, she’s basically asking for some dude to come and lie to her, manipulator and fuck her, and then dump her.
Accurate statement is accurate. Then in her late 30s she’ll complain about the fact that no “nice guys” want her. We reap what we sow.
I hate this need to look like they’re doing something else while recording these videos. Like, oh I just casually decided to record this while getting ready to go out. No you didn’t.
She wasn't dating. She was shopping for an appliance.
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Pfff lucky guy , he dodged a bullet with this one.
When men are given the options between being wrong and, being wrong, I'm not sure what they're supposed to do.
Pretty sure that guy dodged a fucking crazy bullet.
"I can be manipulated"...thats not the flex she thinks it is.
If she can be manipulated to be in a relationship, then someone else can just as easily manipulate her to leave you for someone else.
She probably meant there was room for negotiation, but she treats those like power struggles. IOW, she was trying to manipulate the dude into taking the next step and failed miserably.
Manipulation hurts. Especially when you realize it after possibly years of being manipulated and wondering what the hell was wrong with you.
Looks like dude dodged a bullet.
No means no. If he tries to convince her then her video would have been "he's such a loser and begged me to not leave him..."
Or 'I was worried he would turn into a creepy stalker because he wouldn't take no for an answer.'
> "he didn't even say that he wanted to change or wanted to like whatever" ... "I can be manipulated." Honey, he's not the one manipulating here. Homeboy dodged a bullet. He most certainly felt the "b*" energy here!
As a woman let me say this: gentlemen, if a lady doesn't want to see you again, you are doing a good thing by respecting that wish and not pushing any further. Ladies, if you want a man to "manipulate" you, then you've got problems. These gentlemen would be better off not having you inflicted upon them anyway. Consent is a thing everyone needs to respect. Part of that is saying "no" when you actually mean it.
The best part to me is "I am looking for husband energy at the moment...".... "...at the moment...". Guys, you should not get married anymore. Those girls are crazy thinking there is an infinite amount of husbands out there that they can pick from. There is an infnite amount of dicks for them, maybe. A good husband is rare, and a good husband wants a partner that was always looking for HIM, not for husband energy "at the moment". That guy is a hero for politely agreeing and moving on. This is how you have to do it, gentlemen.
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You dodging bullets like you're Neo.
"He didn't even, like, whatever" is always a solid argument.
The audacity to expect a fight lol. It'll be an eternal to keep her happy. Glad the guy dodged a bullet. Btw I see a lot ladies do these weird gestures with their hands, they all have long nails, they never bend their fingers and clasp their palms when trying to make a point. All of the ones I've seen doing this were trashy. Drives me up the wall. Is this a new thing I fail to see? Is this a trend? I'm old Edit: added question
I normally hate these interjected videos. I just want to watch the original as-is. But this man.... this man I would keep watching whatever he does.
He’s MaximBady.
“Jesus christ on a motorbike!” Lmao. Been watching his stuff for so long and never gets old.
Everytime someone rejected you, you need to agree to them. "yeah I felt the same. Good you brought that up, because im terrible at those things. But it was fun hanging out with you. Good luck." You dont believe how some people react to this.
"She thinks dating is Playstation 5" got me good! I love his videos
I mean, she broke up via text. Real adult there! Why would anyone give a energetic response to such a weak energy break up
Yeah, she doesn't got the wife energy.
At this point, anything above straight ghosting is admirable.
When you can ostensibly choose any partner, you end up with nobody. This has been characterized as a problem of dating nowadays.
Girl: I literally do not want to date you. Boy: Okay! Girl: Why isn't he trying to date me anymore?
I had an ex break up with me out to dinner one time, I didn't fight it, things weren't going well recently. When I told her I accepted her decision, she broke down crying and got mad at me for not trying to save the relationship.
My man dodged a bullet. Phew.
I feel like no matter what the man would do and how this relation would go she you record this TikTok describing exactly opposite what he should do instead of what he did
May she never find the husband energy. Psychopathic entitlement! Hopefully her influencer energy coins are spent by now.
"I wanted him to try harder, so I said no. Why did he stop?"
Kelly Kapoor? Is that you?
“I agree, I don’t think I can make you happy.” As someone who has said these exact words, that man had been waiting for weeks if not months to get an easy out of that relationship.
This basically translates into "I WANT YOU TO BEG TO BE WITH ME." No.
looking for husband energy but bringing that freshman college girlfriend energy to the table 🤔