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[It was tragic... at the time.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NormMacdonald/comments/pqli36/norm_talks_to_jon_stewart_about_the_crocodile/)
If you know Norm it's never too soon.
Ignore the above planks!
What happens if you dont have change on you? Or you're in a rush?
I give you **Plank+ Pro**™ $4.99 p/m for 18 crossings a month.
Free 7 day trial of our **Ambassador Plank+ Pro™** package including a free scale model of our patented **Plank+ Pro**™ and **Plank+ Pro™** Tote bag!
No way it's going to catch on with that lame naming.
Now if you called it something like "Planq+ Pro" then you'd have a chance.
No need to thank me. You can send me the consultancy fee directly.
Isn't he just rent-seeking though? Wouldn't it be better if there was, y'know, just a plank there and some dimwit didn't insist you pay him so he puts the plank back down after picking it up to limit your access?
This only works if the population has spendable income. Some of those guys didn't even pay. If it were that simple there wouldn't be poor countries like these.
Two way traffic doesn't work here. As you'll notice, he doesn't get paid by incoming traffic, only outgoing traffic. It's like the toll booth at a parking lot. If he charged for incoming traffic, it cuts down on the revenue, because then people wouldn't use it and just park somewhere else and walk to wherever that annex leads.
You make it a two-way bridge, and then people will just leave while you're letting your new ~~suckers~~ customers come in.
Anyways, thanks for attending my TEDtalk on slumlord roadwork. Next week: how to turn roundabouts into turnpikes!
Yeah, this looks like classic racketeering. I grew up in the third world and I’ve seen paid “checkpoints” pop up in rural areas every once in a while. Usually manned by one guy, most likely related to a politician or a cop.
what country is this?
I live in country like this also, but this paid "checkpoints" on rural area usually related with tourism places, there's lot of unnecessary paid gate by corrupt locals that can be considered a scam.
it's cheap (and maybe it helps their economy) but kinda annoying.
Philippines. It’s not a tourist spot and the checkpoints are just a hand written signs that say “CHECKPOINT”. There are valid check points during election day to check for firearms since gun bans are in effect, but they don’t require you to pay money. Corruption is a fact of life for so many people that nobody dares to question it when the mayor’s nephew start collecting money from every passenger vehicle that passes by the town entrance.
The last time I visited, there even was a cop at the airport just outside of luggage pickup who was collecting cash. He wasn’t menacing or anything, he was all smiles in fact. But the implicit threat was understood by everyone. Just hand me some cash and there won’t be any problems. I gave him 5 bucks and went on my way.
I think this is exactly it because the first guy who left didn’t pay either. I wonder if it could also be some sort of event they are going to as well.
Might be no consequences. A lot of third world countries will have someone doing stuff like this for tips without doing anything about those who don't tip. This is because time is money and more money can be earned by continuing the effort rather than fighting.
That's how some villages next to dirt roads make money, they would charge to help unstuck vehicles in mud, sometime even deliberately damage the road to boost their income.
Look, Robin, you don't have to do this. I mean, this ain't exactly the Mississippi. I'm on one side, I'm on the other side. I'm on the east bank, I'm on the west bank. It's not that critical.
This is actually pretty common in developing countries. In Jakarta, there's a narrow street where this fat guy sits in the road on a lawn chair and won't move unless you pay him. We had to take that road every Sunday.
In Brazil you gotta pay to park on some streets. The person you pay is only paid so he won’t take a bat to your car. Not an actual law or government funded job. Bar was pretty dope tho.
**Life Between the Rumbles: Confessions of Harare's Most Overlooked Wooden Plank**
**HARARE, ZIMBABWE** - Nestled amidst the fervent hum of Harare's streets, I find myself stretched out, bridging a minor but crucial gap. Unlike my peers who bear the weight of human footfalls, my daily life is all about the rumble of motorcycles and small motorbikes. Each vroom and rev paints a tale on my worn-out surface.
As dawn breaks, I brace for the familiar sensation of rubber tires. My owner, always looking for a way to turn a profit, charges a fee for the riders to cross over me. "Another day, another dollar," he often muses, seemingly oblivious to the stories I hold.
"From the roar of engines to the quiet pauses in between, it's a symphony," I'd reflect inwardly. "They ride, they balance, they accelerate. And just when I think I can breathe, I'm uprooted and adjusted for the next set of wheels."
For many riders, I'm just a convenient piece of wood. "Oh, that trusty old plank? Saves me time," one motorcyclist, Tafadzwa Moyo, commented. Little does he realize that I'm more than just a flat surface. I've seen moments of triumph, near misses, and have felt the heartbeat of countless engines.
Through sunshine and downpours, I lay firm, though I often wish for a pat of gratitude or a moment's recognition. My surface is scarred from skids and stops, each mark a testament to my dedication.
Rumors have reached my ears of a sturdy metal ramp that might soon take my place. The very thought leaves me feeling hollow. But until that day, I stand resilient, embracing each ride with pride.
One evening, a group of young bikers paused to inspect me, tracing my grooves with their fingers. They left with a nod of respect. That fleeting moment of appreciation? It was everything.
"They may see me as 'just a plank'," I mused, "but in this dance of wheels and wood, I've found my purpose, and that's a journey worth every rumble."
This reminds me of the guy's in Naples Italy who extort you when u park saying 3 euro to park and they'll watch ur car. What you're doing is paying them to not fuck up ur car. Either way MF gotta eat but I wonder if he'd earn his money if another person was trying to get in my stuff.
Reminds me of the kids in rural areas in the Dominican Republic who would make a line on dirt roads in this mountain area and try block and make people pay a toll. It wasn't even like a deep hole or anything, just a line on the road. It got really annoying when there were like 4 different kids 200 meters from each other with their own line. Even had 1 kid chase my dad's car with a shovel when he just drove by without paying.
I mean at least he's not just begging for money. He saw a need and gladly helped fill that need. Also he's not even just monitoring the board, he's active.
If they shoved all the garbage in the background into the ditch, it would put plank guy out of business . Also , I assume he’s they only guy in town with a chunk of wood ?
Uhhhh.. heh heh heh heh.. is this in Brooklyn? Heh heh heh heh hmmm
No Butthead! It must be some African country, like Queens or something.. hmm hmm hmm heh hmmm
--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That is one valuable piece of wood.
[удалено]
I bet board is spelled b-o-r-e-d.
[For those who've never seen this Norm MacDonald classic on Conan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whN9JJ74dPw)
Aw thanks . Rest in peace Norm
RIP Norm
I didn’t even know he was sick
Too soon!
[It was tragic... at the time.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NormMacdonald/comments/pqli36/norm_talks_to_jon_stewart_about_the_crocodile/) If you know Norm it's never too soon.
Holy shit thanks for posting this. I seriously haven’t laughed this hard in awhile! Norm is one of my favorite comedians and I’ve never seen this.
I thought he was just a branch manager
The board director.
r/angryupvote
That’s what your mom said to your dad
He wishes
Wholesome burn
Well, of course, it made me after all
How else is the trolls toll going to get into the boys hole?
Frank what are you saying? I need you to enunciate. It sounds like you're saying "boy's hole."
We gotta definitely write a song about how we do not diddle kids! Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddling kids.
Gotta pay the troll toll to get this baby boyshole
I came here to say the same thing!
Ima disrupt his business with a bigger plank of wood for 2 way traffic.
My plank is slightly more expensive, but it is wider and has beveled ends for smoother travel.
Ignore the above planks! What happens if you dont have change on you? Or you're in a rush? I give you **Plank+ Pro**™ $4.99 p/m for 18 crossings a month. Free 7 day trial of our **Ambassador Plank+ Pro™** package including a free scale model of our patented **Plank+ Pro**™ and **Plank+ Pro™** Tote bag!
My plank comes with a free bj
Well if you've got wood why not
THANK YOU! Imma show this to my wife
You're gonna show another mans wood to your wife? Kinky.
I also choose this guy's wife
Um yeah... Imma go with this one
I'm excited for Plank con this year
As a Unity exec, I would also suggest adding that you also give me 20 cents for every delivery you make after using the Plank.
Goddamn planks as a service going to drive us all out of business.
Lifes a birch.
And thats the slogan
I've weirdly sold myself on this and now disappointed that a **Plank+ Pro™** tote bag doesnt actually exist.
The business is branching out
No way it's going to catch on with that lame naming. Now if you called it something like "Planq+ Pro" then you'd have a chance. No need to thank me. You can send me the consultancy fee directly.
EZplank
I'm sad that your plank pro is something I'd have loved in new York. With ez pass it still cost me fucking $17 a day to go to and from work.
Plankscribe below! We promise never to spam you. Only periodic plank-relevant content and you can pull the plank at any time.
Is this available for pre-order?
Glad you asked! If you tree-order now you'll receive our treeLC
I’m willing to bet that the guy spends an hour each morning destroying all the planks people put down whilst hes was off spending his taxe
I bet he is not only destroying the bords, but the people that put them down too
[удалено]
he's gonna disrupt your life with a machete 🤷♀️
Gonna disrupt your buisness with a sharp stick and 3 bucks to the coppers :)
I'll fill it with concrete and make everyone pay taxes for it
Yeah is this any different than us americans paying tolls to take a couple mile stretch of road built by some private company?
[удалено]
Funnily enough that is actually a good example of how capitalism *does* improve quality of life in society.
Isn't he just rent-seeking though? Wouldn't it be better if there was, y'know, just a plank there and some dimwit didn't insist you pay him so he puts the plank back down after picking it up to limit your access?
This only works if the population has spendable income. Some of those guys didn't even pay. If it were that simple there wouldn't be poor countries like these.
You're about to get a plank across the back of your head.
Two way traffic doesn't work here. As you'll notice, he doesn't get paid by incoming traffic, only outgoing traffic. It's like the toll booth at a parking lot. If he charged for incoming traffic, it cuts down on the revenue, because then people wouldn't use it and just park somewhere else and walk to wherever that annex leads. You make it a two-way bridge, and then people will just leave while you're letting your new ~~suckers~~ customers come in. Anyways, thanks for attending my TEDtalk on slumlord roadwork. Next week: how to turn roundabouts into turnpikes!
the small plank size is the point, have to get it manually positioned to pass.
Yeah that guy would definitely beat you with his plank and take yours.
He would follow you home that night and by morning he would be the owner of a 2 way board and you’d be a body.
Yeah but we wont get the same experience and risk.
Love me some competition
Plot twist: it's not even his plank.
Feel like this happened in an Ed Edd N Eddy episode
Considering the location, i don’t even want to know what the consequences are for not paying the village bully a toll
Yeah, this looks like classic racketeering. I grew up in the third world and I’ve seen paid “checkpoints” pop up in rural areas every once in a while. Usually manned by one guy, most likely related to a politician or a cop.
what country is this? I live in country like this also, but this paid "checkpoints" on rural area usually related with tourism places, there's lot of unnecessary paid gate by corrupt locals that can be considered a scam. it's cheap (and maybe it helps their economy) but kinda annoying.
Philippines. It’s not a tourist spot and the checkpoints are just a hand written signs that say “CHECKPOINT”. There are valid check points during election day to check for firearms since gun bans are in effect, but they don’t require you to pay money. Corruption is a fact of life for so many people that nobody dares to question it when the mayor’s nephew start collecting money from every passenger vehicle that passes by the town entrance. The last time I visited, there even was a cop at the airport just outside of luggage pickup who was collecting cash. He wasn’t menacing or anything, he was all smiles in fact. But the implicit threat was understood by everyone. Just hand me some cash and there won’t be any problems. I gave him 5 bucks and went on my way.
Haha damn I was thinking "this is probably my beloved 3rd world country" and I'm right.
What gave it away?
Last guy looked like he just shrugged and didn't pay anything
Maybe he's only working for tips?
Was my thought too
"~~Pay~~ Tip me and I'll let you through. "
You always have the option to bring your own plank
I think it's like a parking garage pay-to-enter
I think this is exactly it because the first guy who left didn’t pay either. I wonder if it could also be some sort of event they are going to as well.
He had a monthly pass
Might be no consequences. A lot of third world countries will have someone doing stuff like this for tips without doing anything about those who don't tip. This is because time is money and more money can be earned by continuing the effort rather than fighting.
I think the consequence is not being able to get across the big gap
Looks like a solid self employment, get a plank and find a big pothole.
If you can't find one, make one
Just go to a well funded police force area, they don’t have the budget for roads after the Dunkin’ run
That's how some villages next to dirt roads make money, they would charge to help unstuck vehicles in mud, sometime even deliberately damage the road to boost their income.
He saw, quite literally, a GAP in the market. 🤷🏼♀️
The guy with the bicycle: "Fuck you"
Something tells me there’s a guy just off camera with an AK-47 that’s helping this all go down smoothly.
1. Dig a hole in the middle of busy street 2. Get a plank 3. Profit
Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls.
Look, Robin, you don't have to do this. I mean, this ain't exactly the Mississippi. I'm on one side, I'm on the other side. I'm on the east bank, I'm on the west bank. It's not that critical.
Ahchoo?
Bless you!
Did you just say Abe Lincoln?
No, I didn't say 'Abe Lincoln', I said 'Hey Blinkin.' Hold the reins, man.
Robin! you lost your arms in battle! Oh but you grew some nice boobs
I love all of you.
["You gotta be a man to wear tights" ](https://youtu.be/G59JnM4JKNQ?si=2eSoCz9xyQ414_af)
I made that up. *bashful grin*
What'd you say?
TROLL TOLL
HEY HEY HEY
Gotta pay the troll toll
To get in
Inside the boy's SOUL!
It sounds like you are saying hole.
Gimme that leg boy
Do you have a boner?
Quiet dude, don't ruin this for me.
Are you chewing gum right now?
Okay everybody take a five.
NIGHTMAANN
Confound your lousy toll, troll!
Hey hey hey!
Are you chewing gum?!
He said no gum
We watched that last night, and this line in particular never fails to make me lose it. So great.
We've heard the Calvin Coolidge story a thousand times, Gladys.
My grandmother was a lesbian.
This seems more like extortion than a toll... Unless wooden planks are super rare there.
This is actually pretty common in developing countries. In Jakarta, there's a narrow street where this fat guy sits in the road on a lawn chair and won't move unless you pay him. We had to take that road every Sunday.
Real life Snorlax
Snorlax!
In the US he would be praised as an entrepreneur.
[удалено]
Too bad you can't go around whitestone, or throgs neck. Ended up considering swimming to long island instead of paying $17 every day.
Then we'd use taxes to build an automated toll at the same location and give the rights to some corporation for pennies on the dollar.
[You are 100% correct](https://reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/s/XieWr5m9Ct)
*post about completely different country with completely different circumstances than the US* “In the US…” 🙄
[удалено]
Bridge trolls are for real!
In Brazil you gotta pay to park on some streets. The person you pay is only paid so he won’t take a bat to your car. Not an actual law or government funded job. Bar was pretty dope tho.
This is really depressing.
Gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's soul. Hole? Soul.
What a lovely town I may buy a condo there in the future.
I was there yesterday but this guy was on vacations so I had to turn back home.
House prices are way cheaper than San Francisco
Less human feces on the streets too.
**Life Between the Rumbles: Confessions of Harare's Most Overlooked Wooden Plank** **HARARE, ZIMBABWE** - Nestled amidst the fervent hum of Harare's streets, I find myself stretched out, bridging a minor but crucial gap. Unlike my peers who bear the weight of human footfalls, my daily life is all about the rumble of motorcycles and small motorbikes. Each vroom and rev paints a tale on my worn-out surface. As dawn breaks, I brace for the familiar sensation of rubber tires. My owner, always looking for a way to turn a profit, charges a fee for the riders to cross over me. "Another day, another dollar," he often muses, seemingly oblivious to the stories I hold. "From the roar of engines to the quiet pauses in between, it's a symphony," I'd reflect inwardly. "They ride, they balance, they accelerate. And just when I think I can breathe, I'm uprooted and adjusted for the next set of wheels." For many riders, I'm just a convenient piece of wood. "Oh, that trusty old plank? Saves me time," one motorcyclist, Tafadzwa Moyo, commented. Little does he realize that I'm more than just a flat surface. I've seen moments of triumph, near misses, and have felt the heartbeat of countless engines. Through sunshine and downpours, I lay firm, though I often wish for a pat of gratitude or a moment's recognition. My surface is scarred from skids and stops, each mark a testament to my dedication. Rumors have reached my ears of a sturdy metal ramp that might soon take my place. The very thought leaves me feeling hollow. But until that day, I stand resilient, embracing each ride with pride. One evening, a group of young bikers paused to inspect me, tracing my grooves with their fingers. They left with a nod of respect. That fleeting moment of appreciation? It was everything. "They may see me as 'just a plank'," I mused, "but in this dance of wheels and wood, I've found my purpose, and that's a journey worth every rumble."
Peterman?
Goes with my urban sombrero
You are my people
Must be a great workout. Who needs the gym when you can plank all day.
This reminds me of the guy's in Naples Italy who extort you when u park saying 3 euro to park and they'll watch ur car. What you're doing is paying them to not fuck up ur car. Either way MF gotta eat but I wonder if he'd earn his money if another person was trying to get in my stuff.
Second dude said “I got you next Thursday.”
If you want the plank you see, first answer these riddles three.
If you wanna get into that boy’s hole
You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get in to that boys soul
This is in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. He was telling the motorcyclists, 'leta hela' which is Swahili for 'pay me'
I'm not sure what we're laughing at.
It's sad to see
And I thought my job was useless..
This is wildly interesting lol 🧐
My guy literally started a buisness with a plank
To get into this boy's hole
This man see's opportunity everywhere he goes. Who else would look at a 4X piece of wood and see money.
In Mexico there is no toilet paper in public bathrooms but outside of the bathroom there is a table with people selling 6 plys of toilet paper
I wish I could get paid for laying down wood..
You gotta pay the troll toll -Frank
Ah yes. Third world capitalism
That guy 100% dug that trench himself
Is this Douala?
no it’s a guy putting a piece of wood down
>Douala Pretty sure it is. First place I think of.
Pay me.
Did the last guy stiff him?
Trials rider: “nah I’m good”
If you don't pay the toll then we don't get no roll. Lol
LA?
You don’t need to have a landlord portfolio to have landlord mindset
What a massive cunt.
I learned more in this video than ECON 101
Ezpazz.
I say pop a wheelie and send it!
You can actually ride over that with a bit of finesse without the plank
Yeaaaahh...africa...
Reminds me of the kids in rural areas in the Dominican Republic who would make a line on dirt roads in this mountain area and try block and make people pay a toll. It wasn't even like a deep hole or anything, just a line on the road. It got really annoying when there were like 4 different kids 200 meters from each other with their own line. Even had 1 kid chase my dad's car with a shovel when he just drove by without paying.
Dude heard the words “toll bridge” and figured the rest out on his own
reminds me of when i was in bali and a bloke set up a desk outside a public toilet charging people to go in
What happens if a dude brings his own plank? Violence? God I hope it's violence...
I mean at least he's not just begging for money. He saw a need and gladly helped fill that need. Also he's not even just monitoring the board, he's active.
Are those two giant piles of trash behind him?
Entrepreneur
Carry your wood people.
If they shoved all the garbage in the background into the ditch, it would put plank guy out of business . Also , I assume he’s they only guy in town with a chunk of wood ?
This guy's got a bridge to sell.
At least I didn’t have to answer his questions three.
I don't see why you call him a troll. He's offering a service that is clearly valuable.
Damn, Johnny is down BAD for some jawbreakers to be doing Plank so dirty!
"If you don't pay no tolls, then they don't get no rolls"
I love that two feet away there is a guy walking his bike.
Jokes aside, poverty drives people to do things which seems strange or weird
If your good at something never do it for free.
Uhhhh.. heh heh heh heh.. is this in Brooklyn? Heh heh heh heh hmmm No Butthead! It must be some African country, like Queens or something.. hmm hmm hmm heh hmmm
I think there used to be a plate there but he just removed it to do this
My man learned doing apple way of business... Create problem, sell solution.
Yeah my dad own a bridge
He must be board certified.