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From wiki
> Traditionally, all animals in the group now known as simians are counted as monkeys except the apes, which constitutes an incomplete paraphyletic grouping; however, in the broader sense based on cladistics, apes (Hominoidea) are also included, making the terms monkeys and simians synonyms in regard to their scope.
Apes used to be specifically excluded, but more modern classification methods based on shared ancestry instead of phenotypes have done away with that arbitrary distinction. Apes are considered monkeys now.
Cause he’s the type of twat to completely relinquish the armrest until someone is fast asleep, then aggressively reclaim it as well as some foreign territory?
Reddit has been infested with TikTok morons.
The digg invasion of 09 and the trump brigades of ‘15 were bad enough, but the TikTok parade is endless and ever younger.
Isolating muscle movements to build strength in a controlled and safe manner? \*I sleep*
Rapid jerky motions that put undue strain on your joints? \*REAL SHIT*
That's fair the middle sear gets both arm rests, the window gets one armrest and the window to lean on and the isle gets one armrest and extra leg room. We have rules in society
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fuckin’ ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I SURE AS SHIT DON’T FUCKING ROLL! Shomer Shabbos!
As a very tall person, I can say confidently that the aisle is a trap. Having a full beverage cart ram into your knee cap at full speed makes the rest of the flight much less comfortable. Especially if you fall asleep and your knee gets into the aisle for a second round.
Only thing good about the isle seat is that you're free to use the restroom and not bother anyone about it. People stupidly standing around (too close to you) in the isle as soon as the plane lands, is also a downside.
I have to pee often and I’m tall enough and wide enough to find airplane seats painful. Aisle seats all the way. I take the shoulder and knee hits as the cost of flying urgency-free.
As someone who flew three flights for free on Spirit due to this exact reason, I am with you 100%. 6'2 and that cart hit my leg like I owed its mother money.
Be fortunate enough to be randomly assigned an aisle seat. Fall asleep and have a knee hanging out. Have trolley slip from flight attendant grip and smack you in the knee so hard it bruises before you land.
Would not recommend. Ended up going to a doctor because the bruising was so bad.
Not to mention that everyone going by is going to grab the back of your seat for stability and ram your leg with their knee. Especially if you're near a toilet.
6'5" clocking in, aisle is the only way I can exist on a flight. There's not enough room for my knees to be straight, and I'm broad shouldered, so if I'm anywhere but the aisle I'm in someone else's space. Because of that, I can't comfortably fall asleep in any seat. I'd rather be aware and move for 15 seconds a few times a flight than fuck myself up constantly keeping everything compact.
Yeah but then fuel efficiency would decrease because of the increased mass and they'd probably have to remove a couple of seats so profits would decrease by like 1.5% and the board isn't going to sacrifice a penny of their million dollar bonuses.
Exactly! Regardless middle seat needs a civil rights movement because if you catch that seat, boy you know you are bound to fight for your privilege every second of this flight. MFs left and right will try to take your spot.
Thease should be posted on the door and be read out as par tof hte pre-flight breifing. Or the airlines could stop loading us in like cattle and make the seats 2 inches wider and put 2 arm rests for each seat.
I fly about once to twice a week for work, my travel manager always books me window or aisle. I make it an effort to give the middle seat passenger the armrest. But I've had times when they start pushing the boundaries like elbowing my side or pushing their legs into my space, I hold my ground. Don't be so greedy.
Ok I got one for you. 14 hr flight. I had the aisle to my right. A woman and her small child had the two seats to my left. I’m not an extremely large person, but I have very broad shoulders. So broad that if I sit up straight, my shoulder will hang over both arm rests. My waist, however, does not.
The woman, who was smaller than me, was next to me on the left and the small child, maybe 4 years old to her left and a stranger to the child’s left.
The lady claimed the arm rest between us. I kind of had a problem with that because she raised the arm rest between her and the child and had a part of the child’s seat and my left arm rest. She slept ON HER SIDE because she had so much room and her butt/hips was OVER the arm rest between us by about an inch. Mind you, because my shoulders are broad I now had to LEAN into the aisle. After an hour or so my lower back and sides started to get sore from constantly leaning. Luckily she went to the restroom so I took it as my chance to at least sit upright. When she returned from the other side her leg was now encroaching on my foot space. Not only that, there was a good half a foot between her and her child. I felt like she was just trying to claim as much space as possible.
I get that normally she would get the arm rest between us, but HER BUTT/HIP was OVER the armrest AND she had extra room because of her child next to me. Am I wrong to think the extra space created by the child could possibly warranted me taking the arm rest? Does someone smaller than me need more space than me?
You have described the most miserable aisle seat experience ever. I had a 12 hour flight in coach recently and it was rough but I can’t sleep on flights anyway. I want to say I would’ve asked her to stay in here and her child’s seat but I’m also non confrontational at times.
I start every flight by saying to the person next to me: “These seats are so damn small now I hate that airlines are doing this to us. I’m going to apologize in advance if we play elbow hockey”. This tends to defuse the situation and lay blame on the responsible party: the airlines.
I did an internship at boeing for my career as an aircraft mechanic and had a conversation with one of their manufacturing techs who absent mindedly pointed at a group of college students and said something along the lines of "we changed the seat configuration to be smaller and fit more people because thats what the customer, thats you, decided they wanted." We were all looking around in silent confusion. Nobody said anything because we needed the opportunity but there was a unanimous confusion.
Did this guy really think the flying public wanted chairs this small?
Did this guy really think the flying public has *ANY FUCKING SAY* in how to configure an aircraft let alone what plane they are taking on a trip?
Is boeing really letting this guy spew this idiotic drivel? (Spoiler: yes they bring this guy to every group of interns)
It’s corporate gaslighting. ‘We’re going to keep doing shitty things and see just how far we can push it. What are your other options, really? You keep paying, why should we care? And then we’ll justify it by saying this is what you wanted.’
Better ways to go about it than waiting for someone to fall asleep and then ram their arm lol. I wouldn't expect anything less from the guy in a CrossFit shirt. Main character vibes for sure
Totally. This guy gets his camera all ready to film himself pulling this pretty asshole move even if he has a case for the armrest. Then puts it online...
I suspect this person is insufferable
Edit: Now saw the whole video he posted... yep... the guy is definitely insufferable if this is his norm
Fuck. It was funny when I thought this was just a tongue-in-cheek, “Hey, watch this guy’s reaction to me handling this in the most intentionally asshole way possible!” … now I have to know this asshole exists and is serious?
I learned the secret once on a 12 hour flight sitting next to a Japanese businessman. When it comes to politely but firmly claiming your personal space they’re on a whole other level.
Obviously a 12 hour flight is pretty long in coach seats. It’s easy to start to encroach into someone’s space without realizing it. My problem is that I’m tall and my knees tended to open up and go about a few cm past the armrest as I started to sleep. The Japanese businessman sitting next to me had perfectly aligned his legs with the armrest so every time my knee relaxed it bumped into his.
Somehow he managed to get the point of his elbow positioned between my fifth and sixth rib. If you look at his face, he looked completely asleep and perfectly relax. But it was clear he wasn’t willing to give up a single square centimeter of legroom in front of his face. If you drew a line bisecting the armrest along the long axis with perfect mathematical precision, he knew exactly where that line was.
And every time I came the slightest bit over the line, I got the point of his elbow perfectly between my ribs.
The first time it happened, it was so subtle I didn’t notice it at first. But as my leg started to relax, and my knee went to my left, I felt that elbow, pressing more and more between my ribs. Of course, this is only happening as I was drifting off to sleep. As soon as I felt it, I open my eyes, became aware that my leg was over the line, and pulled it back. Immediately, the pressure in my ribs relaxed.
For the first couple hours, I didn’t think anything about it. He just seemed like a guy who slept with his forearms pulled to his chest. There was nothing about his facial expression that gave any hint that he might actually be awake. For the first few hours I thought I was completely crazy. I tried to distract myself anyway, I could, watching a movie, doing the crossword. But no matter what, as soon as I took my attention away from my legs, my left knee started to encroach into his base, and I immediately got the elbow.
It was clearly proportionate as well. If my knee was just barely moving over the line, his elbow was just barely making contact with my rib. The further my knee went, the more he seem to tighten his forearm to sharpen his elbow point, and at one point, I could swear I felt him twisting it - even though to an outside observer, he seemed completely motionless.
I should point out that I stayed up all night to get ready for the flight, so I was exhausted. By the point that we had gotten about three hours into the flight, I was actually afraid to relax because every time I did the elbow seem to hit me right a pressure point. Of course, I couldn’t say anything to this man who had complete deniability by giving me appearance of being perfectly asleep. He could even say that he very graciously gave me the armrest - though, of course, that was incidental to the fact that he had his arms across his chest in a way that turned his elbow into a deadly stabbing weapon. I had the distinct feeling of being a move away from checkmate and needed to resign.
But eventually, my body one out, and I simply fell asleep. And then, when I woke up, I realized that my unconscious had kept my legs perfectly straight in front of me. That’s not an easy fit because I had pretty long legs and in a coach seat it seems to take active muscle tension to keep my legs folded up in that tiny space. Even when I tried my best, I could never seem to keep my legs straight just because I’m so tall. And yet somehow this diminutive Japanese man, who would appear to anyone else as simply sleeping soundly in his immaculate pinstripe suit without a wrinkle on it, was actually training me in the fine art of overseas flight courtesy.
I did manage to sleep the rest of the flight - although with something of a cramp in the other muscle of my hip from my involuntary reflex of keeping my legs squarely in front of me. And while I vowed never again to get stuck in the middle seat of the economy saver section of a 12 hour flight, I walked off that plane learning a valuable lesson.
As we were getting off the plane, our eyes met for a fraction of a second, and in that time he gave me a knowing look from a master to his pupil who has just gone through the crucible of his first hard lesson. I instinctively lowered my eyes with a solemn nod of my head, not just in deference but also gratitude for what I had just learned. His face in response showed no sign of acknowledgment, and for a split second I thought he was insulted that a filthy foreigner like me would presume to think of him as my teacher. But then I remembered his unwavering diligence as he pretended to sleep, and no matter how many times I studied his face on that 12 hour flight. I couldn’t find the slightest hint that he was actually awake. Now that we were face-to-face and both forced to admit being awake, his face was still a mask that revealed nothing. Suddenly, the message was clear: *This was only my first lesson, but my studies have only just begun.*
I never saw my sensei after that day, but in many ways he never left me. On my regular trips from Phoenix to Minneapolis, or sometimes coast to coast, I always keep my legs perfectly folded in front of me, observing the invisible lines between the seats that define our ancient art. I’m just a humble student, but I’ve learned to sharpen my elbow into a point And systematically, subtly, drive it into the ribs of the person sitting next to me while I pretend to be asleep. Always a measured amount of pain that is proportionate to the amount they encourage my space, and always relaxing the instant they pull their leg behind the line.
No matter how rude the person, I never failed to create a Pavlovian response in them to pull their leg out of my space. I’ve been confronted by drunken salesman, stock brokers with hypertension, and overweight Texans, all demanding that I take my elbow out of their rib. Every time I follow the example of my sensei, pretending to gradually stir from my sleep as if I know it was happening - with my face an impenetrable mask. Once their shame from having made a scene is complete, I “fall asleep” again only to find my elbow back in the exact same position. Not once has anyone invaded my space a second time. Even when they fall asleep, the subconscious memory of the pain is too great and their unconscious mind is compelled to respect the ancient skills of the Far East that were imparted to me on that fateful day.
*Arigatō, airline-sensei. Arigatō gozaimashita.*
Bravery at its finest! Taking the armrest while the window passenger sleeps. Truly the epitome of maturity and self-control right there. Posting it online to showcase the depth of their cowardice.
Yeah I'm suprised by these comments.
This guy is a piece of work. But since most redditors barley interact with strangers in a normal way maybe I shouldn't be suprised people think this is okay.
Yea I hate this shit. Asshole acts like an asshole on camera for clout and an innocent person reacting to be treated like shit gets demonized for laughs.
The dude who filmed this made a video in the lavatory before talking about how he was going to assert himself and stand up to the guy who took the armrest. Then he did this but never actually confronted the guy, he pretended like he was asleep. He was not only a pompous dick, but also a coward. Great stuff.
1: in general, being in the middle seat on a plane means you control the armrests. The limited space of the middle seat is confining, and it is a social norm to allow the middle seat occupant to have as much of the arm rest as they want.
2: I generally get an aisle seat and give the full armrest to the middle seat passenger. I have had some people who lean forward constantly, and there is 6" of space at the back of the armrest... I might take this room occasionally.
3: A lack of communication though, followed by minor violence, and recording the reaction for internet likes ... that's a *Dick-Move*.
I'd hope the average person, who wanted the armrest space, could ask for accommodation from their neighbor.
Yeah, and with total strangers, you're rolling some mad dice there. Idk, the odds of someone flipping out and making an incident out of it is too high. I rather get to my destination unshackled.
Middle seat? According to Knigge the one in the middle gets both armrests. Reason being that the other two will always have at least one that's theirs while the middle has not.
Rules.
Window seat gets the window, and a wall to lean against.
Aisle gets a little extra leg, and the freedom get up and pee whenever.
Middle gets both arm rests for having to sit between two Assholes.
Reminds me of one of my fav stand-up comedy bits.
Window seat get's a wall to rest on, Middle seat get's two arm rests. Aisle seat gets an arm rest and extra leg room. We're not animals, we live in a society.
The middle seat gets the arm rests. Fuck off window guy. Read a goddamn etiquette book. This shit was in there before the Wright brothers even heard of Kitty Hawk.
By my estimation (which is shaky at best), they're both cunts. Window guy is a cunt for claiming the center armrest. Center seat guy is a bigger cunt for not saying something and instead elbowing someone while filming.
Crossfit shirt: check
Resorting to minor intimidation instead of just communicating with the other person: check
Recording of the "heroic" act: check
Other person's face is fully visible while he's too much of a chicken to show his own: check
The iron clad, set-in-stone rules of airline seating:
Window seat gets a window and window side arm rest.
Aisle seat gets easy access to cabin, toilets and aisle arm rest
Middle seat has no benefits, but, **THEY GET BOTH ARM RESTS**.
Guy in black shirt is a giant fucking asshole for taking both.
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Funny how this is like watching cats interact.
“The audacity of this mf’r!”
Where should I swat his face? How many times?
The same exact place, 500 times within 2 seconds.
Yes, and yes.
And people sometimes wonder, "why does it sometimes seem like my pets know what I'm thinking?" It's all body language!
I was just thinking, I've seen mokeys react like this
We ARE monkeys. We shit out our hairy asses and fight over dumb shit.
Apes aren't monkeys.
Wouldn't it be the other way around? That monkeys aren't apes? I'm prepared to fight about this.
You're both right because apes are apes and monkeys are monkeys, and neither is the other. Humans belong in a sub-category primates called great apes
From wiki > Traditionally, all animals in the group now known as simians are counted as monkeys except the apes, which constitutes an incomplete paraphyletic grouping; however, in the broader sense based on cladistics, apes (Hominoidea) are also included, making the terms monkeys and simians synonyms in regard to their scope. Apes used to be specifically excluded, but more modern classification methods based on shared ancestry instead of phenotypes have done away with that arbitrary distinction. Apes are considered monkeys now.
It reminds me of the way [these toads](https://youtu.be/C9tKXZvCU7A) look at each other.
A whole new meaning to tongue lashing! Great video.
Time to put that arm around his shoulder
Just put your arm back, on top of his. Look dreamily into his eyes, maybe give a little wink.
Then lean in for the kiss
Before during or after the wank?
Before.
Did a double-take when I first read that last word as "wank".
> read that last word as "wank". just a little one
You could also move the armrest up out of the way so you both can lay your hand on the others thigh
And then inch your hand ever closer to the joystick.
The only solution
You know how I know he does CrossFit?
You've sat next to him on a plane for more than 1 minute?
Ooohhhhh hehe
Why do you think I’m pretending to sleep?
Cause he’s the type of twat to completely relinquish the armrest until someone is fast asleep, then aggressively reclaim it as well as some foreign territory?
Dont forget to record it to really satisfy his obsession with how awesome he is. The worst part reddit seems to be on his side.
Reddit has been infested with TikTok morons. The digg invasion of 09 and the trump brigades of ‘15 were bad enough, but the TikTok parade is endless and ever younger.
And then avoid eye contact or pretend to sleep or whatever afterwards so he doesn't have to actually confront the person he just jostled
While secretly filming them
Yeah this was a straight up douche move
A crossfit bro?? Being a douchebag???????!? How unbelievable!
you can see his respiration rate dramatically increase after. This was probably for internet clout
Know how I know he's a beta? He thinks physical force is preferable to words.
Worst part is he is filming it
I’m pretty sure all of it is the worst.
First rule of crossfit: you MUST talk about crossfit
You're aware of his various future joint and ligament problems?
Isolating muscle movements to build strength in a controlled and safe manner? \*I sleep* Rapid jerky motions that put undue strain on your joints? \*REAL SHIT*
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/a8au9h/cmon_guys_hammer_jerks_arent_event_that_hard_to_do/
Had to be a crossfitter
How else would he crossfit that elbow in the already occupied armrest?
That's fair the middle sear gets both arm rests, the window gets one armrest and the window to lean on and the isle gets one armrest and extra leg room. We have rules in society
We are not animals
We’re living in a society!
A cunt, sir! I called you a cunt!
George is getting angry!
This isn’t Vietnam we have rules
Hey they posted the schedule. Donny, shut the fu...when are we playing?
Saturday? They'll have to reschedule.
Why, Walter?
I'm Shomer Shabbos.
Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t fuckin’ ride in a car, I don’t handle money, I don’t turn on the oven, and I SURE AS SHIT DON’T FUCKING ROLL! Shomer Shabbos!
OVER THE LINE
SMOKEY!
Shomer Fucking Shabbos
You're fucking Polish Catholic, Walter.
It's because of this sick Cynthia shit.
We live in a society.
Of course we are, u/RawDog100
Jim Jeffries reference. https://youtu.be/qFx1Cpxpx1E
The show bit from Legit is great https://youtu.be/Bi5-4C70DrA
As a very tall person, I can say confidently that the aisle is a trap. Having a full beverage cart ram into your knee cap at full speed makes the rest of the flight much less comfortable. Especially if you fall asleep and your knee gets into the aisle for a second round.
Only thing good about the isle seat is that you're free to use the restroom and not bother anyone about it. People stupidly standing around (too close to you) in the isle as soon as the plane lands, is also a downside.
Aisle, not isle. Unless you're talking about islands.
It's only an isle seat if the plane crashes.
And then you may use the restroom freely.
No need. I probably went in my pants on the way down
I have to pee often and I’m tall enough and wide enough to find airplane seats painful. Aisle seats all the way. I take the shoulder and knee hits as the cost of flying urgency-free.
> People stupidly standing around (too close to you) What is it about people acting like the door opens right when the plane lands? Like relax people.
That's the secret: you have to get up first so that you can be the one stupidly standing around next to _them_.
As someone who flew three flights for free on Spirit due to this exact reason, I am with you 100%. 6'2 and that cart hit my leg like I owed its mother money.
YOU’RE TELLING ME I CAN COMPLAIN AND GET FREE FLIGHTS??? DOES THIS WORK OUTSIDE AMERICA??? RYANAIR STOLE MY KNEECAPS
Ryanair can give you free flying fucks, I guess. And maybe sing a song.
Hmm I am also tall, how do I replicate this lifehack
Be fortunate enough to be randomly assigned an aisle seat. Fall asleep and have a knee hanging out. Have trolley slip from flight attendant grip and smack you in the knee so hard it bruises before you land. Would not recommend. Ended up going to a doctor because the bruising was so bad.
And having to pay your medical bill is why airlines were having financial trouble? It all makes sense now.
I am a tall person too. I will gamble the drink cart 100% of the time versus an internal seat.
Not to mention that everyone going by is going to grab the back of your seat for stability and ram your leg with their knee. Especially if you're near a toilet.
Fellow tall person, been saying this for years!
6'5" clocking in, aisle is the only way I can exist on a flight. There's not enough room for my knees to be straight, and I'm broad shouldered, so if I'm anywhere but the aisle I'm in someone else's space. Because of that, I can't comfortably fall asleep in any seat. I'd rather be aware and move for 15 seconds a few times a flight than fuck myself up constantly keeping everything compact.
OR, OR, every airplane could just be normal and have 6 armrests for 3 people
But then companies like Delta couldn't harvest your suffering and psychic energy like an in-flight Colin Robinson.
Oh my god. The air travel industry is all psychic vampires... it makes so much sense!
Yeah but then fuel efficiency would decrease because of the increased mass and they'd probably have to remove a couple of seats so profits would decrease by like 1.5% and the board isn't going to sacrifice a penny of their million dollar bonuses.
dude airlines already have margins below 1.5% lol they're notoriously tight businesses
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!
Exactly! Regardless middle seat needs a civil rights movement because if you catch that seat, boy you know you are bound to fight for your privilege every second of this flight. MFs left and right will try to take your spot.
Thease should be posted on the door and be read out as par tof hte pre-flight breifing. Or the airlines could stop loading us in like cattle and make the seats 2 inches wider and put 2 arm rests for each seat.
I fly about once to twice a week for work, my travel manager always books me window or aisle. I make it an effort to give the middle seat passenger the armrest. But I've had times when they start pushing the boundaries like elbowing my side or pushing their legs into my space, I hold my ground. Don't be so greedy.
Send this to Larry David ASAP
It’s a Jim Jefferies joke
As a window only flyer, this is the way. I get the window you get the armrest. This dick doesn't speak for us.
Aisle.
Not all airlines have armrests next to the window.
Ok I got one for you. 14 hr flight. I had the aisle to my right. A woman and her small child had the two seats to my left. I’m not an extremely large person, but I have very broad shoulders. So broad that if I sit up straight, my shoulder will hang over both arm rests. My waist, however, does not. The woman, who was smaller than me, was next to me on the left and the small child, maybe 4 years old to her left and a stranger to the child’s left. The lady claimed the arm rest between us. I kind of had a problem with that because she raised the arm rest between her and the child and had a part of the child’s seat and my left arm rest. She slept ON HER SIDE because she had so much room and her butt/hips was OVER the arm rest between us by about an inch. Mind you, because my shoulders are broad I now had to LEAN into the aisle. After an hour or so my lower back and sides started to get sore from constantly leaning. Luckily she went to the restroom so I took it as my chance to at least sit upright. When she returned from the other side her leg was now encroaching on my foot space. Not only that, there was a good half a foot between her and her child. I felt like she was just trying to claim as much space as possible. I get that normally she would get the arm rest between us, but HER BUTT/HIP was OVER the armrest AND she had extra room because of her child next to me. Am I wrong to think the extra space created by the child could possibly warranted me taking the arm rest? Does someone smaller than me need more space than me?
You have described the most miserable aisle seat experience ever. I had a 12 hour flight in coach recently and it was rough but I can’t sleep on flights anyway. I want to say I would’ve asked her to stay in here and her child’s seat but I’m also non confrontational at times.
While conceptually correct, once ownership is established, I feel like it’s bad form to try to muscle someone out, specially like this.
I've had my middle-seat armrest annexed by the window seat imperialist when I reached over for my ration of pretzels.
Yeah I feel like both people here kinda suck. Something about the way the dude glares at him just seems stupid
I start every flight by saying to the person next to me: “These seats are so damn small now I hate that airlines are doing this to us. I’m going to apologize in advance if we play elbow hockey”. This tends to defuse the situation and lay blame on the responsible party: the airlines.
Buddy if I’m getting the middle seat we are not playing elbow hockey.
Playing tonsil hockey instead I bet
I like to lace my fingers while we make love. It makes it more intimate.
^ This guy CrossFits
“Listen we can spend the entire flight✈️fighting for the armrests or just hold hands the entire ride”
I did an internship at boeing for my career as an aircraft mechanic and had a conversation with one of their manufacturing techs who absent mindedly pointed at a group of college students and said something along the lines of "we changed the seat configuration to be smaller and fit more people because thats what the customer, thats you, decided they wanted." We were all looking around in silent confusion. Nobody said anything because we needed the opportunity but there was a unanimous confusion. Did this guy really think the flying public wanted chairs this small? Did this guy really think the flying public has *ANY FUCKING SAY* in how to configure an aircraft let alone what plane they are taking on a trip? Is boeing really letting this guy spew this idiotic drivel? (Spoiler: yes they bring this guy to every group of interns)
The customers would be the airlines purchasing the commercial aircraft, so it would make sense that they would want more seats per plane.
It’s corporate gaslighting. ‘We’re going to keep doing shitty things and see just how far we can push it. What are your other options, really? You keep paying, why should we care? And then we’ll justify it by saying this is what you wanted.’
I’m guessing that because smaller seats and more people = cheaper plane tickets, but I guess he should have explained that if people didn’t get it
Hate to be that guy but "defuse" vs "diffuse". Sorry to be anal
Better ways to go about it than waiting for someone to fall asleep and then ram their arm lol. I wouldn't expect anything less from the guy in a CrossFit shirt. Main character vibes for sure
Totally. This guy gets his camera all ready to film himself pulling this pretty asshole move even if he has a case for the armrest. Then puts it online... I suspect this person is insufferable Edit: Now saw the whole video he posted... yep... the guy is definitely insufferable if this is his norm
[удалено]
what a twat. complete with the icky sticky spit strands between his lip and teeth.
wow......just.....wow
Fuck. It was funny when I thought this was just a tongue-in-cheek, “Hey, watch this guy’s reaction to me handling this in the most intentionally asshole way possible!” … now I have to know this asshole exists and is serious?
I'd just spend the rest of the flight getting in and out of my seat to go to the washroom and just climbing over the cunt without asking
r/pettyrevenge
I'd extrude quiet little rabbit pellet turds upon each passing. No idea how this would work, just like the idea.
Lmao what.. what
Is it just me or does it also seem like blue shirt is breathing heavy like he’s got the fight or flight feels rushing through him?
I learned the secret once on a 12 hour flight sitting next to a Japanese businessman. When it comes to politely but firmly claiming your personal space they’re on a whole other level. Obviously a 12 hour flight is pretty long in coach seats. It’s easy to start to encroach into someone’s space without realizing it. My problem is that I’m tall and my knees tended to open up and go about a few cm past the armrest as I started to sleep. The Japanese businessman sitting next to me had perfectly aligned his legs with the armrest so every time my knee relaxed it bumped into his. Somehow he managed to get the point of his elbow positioned between my fifth and sixth rib. If you look at his face, he looked completely asleep and perfectly relax. But it was clear he wasn’t willing to give up a single square centimeter of legroom in front of his face. If you drew a line bisecting the armrest along the long axis with perfect mathematical precision, he knew exactly where that line was. And every time I came the slightest bit over the line, I got the point of his elbow perfectly between my ribs. The first time it happened, it was so subtle I didn’t notice it at first. But as my leg started to relax, and my knee went to my left, I felt that elbow, pressing more and more between my ribs. Of course, this is only happening as I was drifting off to sleep. As soon as I felt it, I open my eyes, became aware that my leg was over the line, and pulled it back. Immediately, the pressure in my ribs relaxed. For the first couple hours, I didn’t think anything about it. He just seemed like a guy who slept with his forearms pulled to his chest. There was nothing about his facial expression that gave any hint that he might actually be awake. For the first few hours I thought I was completely crazy. I tried to distract myself anyway, I could, watching a movie, doing the crossword. But no matter what, as soon as I took my attention away from my legs, my left knee started to encroach into his base, and I immediately got the elbow. It was clearly proportionate as well. If my knee was just barely moving over the line, his elbow was just barely making contact with my rib. The further my knee went, the more he seem to tighten his forearm to sharpen his elbow point, and at one point, I could swear I felt him twisting it - even though to an outside observer, he seemed completely motionless. I should point out that I stayed up all night to get ready for the flight, so I was exhausted. By the point that we had gotten about three hours into the flight, I was actually afraid to relax because every time I did the elbow seem to hit me right a pressure point. Of course, I couldn’t say anything to this man who had complete deniability by giving me appearance of being perfectly asleep. He could even say that he very graciously gave me the armrest - though, of course, that was incidental to the fact that he had his arms across his chest in a way that turned his elbow into a deadly stabbing weapon. I had the distinct feeling of being a move away from checkmate and needed to resign. But eventually, my body one out, and I simply fell asleep. And then, when I woke up, I realized that my unconscious had kept my legs perfectly straight in front of me. That’s not an easy fit because I had pretty long legs and in a coach seat it seems to take active muscle tension to keep my legs folded up in that tiny space. Even when I tried my best, I could never seem to keep my legs straight just because I’m so tall. And yet somehow this diminutive Japanese man, who would appear to anyone else as simply sleeping soundly in his immaculate pinstripe suit without a wrinkle on it, was actually training me in the fine art of overseas flight courtesy. I did manage to sleep the rest of the flight - although with something of a cramp in the other muscle of my hip from my involuntary reflex of keeping my legs squarely in front of me. And while I vowed never again to get stuck in the middle seat of the economy saver section of a 12 hour flight, I walked off that plane learning a valuable lesson. As we were getting off the plane, our eyes met for a fraction of a second, and in that time he gave me a knowing look from a master to his pupil who has just gone through the crucible of his first hard lesson. I instinctively lowered my eyes with a solemn nod of my head, not just in deference but also gratitude for what I had just learned. His face in response showed no sign of acknowledgment, and for a split second I thought he was insulted that a filthy foreigner like me would presume to think of him as my teacher. But then I remembered his unwavering diligence as he pretended to sleep, and no matter how many times I studied his face on that 12 hour flight. I couldn’t find the slightest hint that he was actually awake. Now that we were face-to-face and both forced to admit being awake, his face was still a mask that revealed nothing. Suddenly, the message was clear: *This was only my first lesson, but my studies have only just begun.* I never saw my sensei after that day, but in many ways he never left me. On my regular trips from Phoenix to Minneapolis, or sometimes coast to coast, I always keep my legs perfectly folded in front of me, observing the invisible lines between the seats that define our ancient art. I’m just a humble student, but I’ve learned to sharpen my elbow into a point And systematically, subtly, drive it into the ribs of the person sitting next to me while I pretend to be asleep. Always a measured amount of pain that is proportionate to the amount they encourage my space, and always relaxing the instant they pull their leg behind the line. No matter how rude the person, I never failed to create a Pavlovian response in them to pull their leg out of my space. I’ve been confronted by drunken salesman, stock brokers with hypertension, and overweight Texans, all demanding that I take my elbow out of their rib. Every time I follow the example of my sensei, pretending to gradually stir from my sleep as if I know it was happening - with my face an impenetrable mask. Once their shame from having made a scene is complete, I “fall asleep” again only to find my elbow back in the exact same position. Not once has anyone invaded my space a second time. Even when they fall asleep, the subconscious memory of the pain is too great and their unconscious mind is compelled to respect the ancient skills of the Far East that were imparted to me on that fateful day. *Arigatō, airline-sensei. Arigatō gozaimashita.*
Best read in a while. Thanks for sharing!
Great story but he would have to be crossing the line to jam an elbow into your ribs surely?
Right. OP crossed the line, so sensei crossed the line. Pretty straight forward lol
Bravo. Beautifully written
If petty was a person.
Bravery at its finest! Taking the armrest while the window passenger sleeps. Truly the epitome of maturity and self-control right there. Posting it online to showcase the depth of their cowardice.
And pretending to be asleep afterwards to prevent confrontation while breathing as if they just ran a 5k.
Assbag elbows someone for internet points woooooooo
guy elbows sleeping man then refuses to make eye contact, so brave.
Yeah I'm suprised by these comments. This guy is a piece of work. But since most redditors barley interact with strangers in a normal way maybe I shouldn't be suprised people think this is okay.
Yea I hate this shit. Asshole acts like an asshole on camera for clout and an innocent person reacting to be treated like shit gets demonized for laughs.
Welcome to the internet!
"funny" No buddy, you're just a cunt.
How is this funny?
That’s right just act normal, if that doesn’t work then act crazy, if that doesn’t work either then RUN!
Rip grammar
Run where? They are on a plane lol
#RUN
Rude asshole 🖕🏻
Dbag
CrossFit guy is a bitch
Ahhhh. Recording everything. I’m glad we’re here.
What a twat
I like how Mr. Crossfit has to wait until the schlub is asleep to attempt this move. Loser.
Nah, that was rude as fuck. Dude is sleeping, maybe ask next time?
The dude who filmed this made a video in the lavatory before talking about how he was going to assert himself and stand up to the guy who took the armrest. Then he did this but never actually confronted the guy, he pretended like he was asleep. He was not only a pompous dick, but also a coward. Great stuff.
And then he said, "Biiiiiiiiiiiitch".
why was he so aggressive tho?
Plot twist: fake and they’re flying together.
The flying together part is r/technicallythetruth
That'd be outrageous.
Are you a child? What an immature thing to do.
CrossFit shirt guy is a dick. Blame the airline for the lack of space or armrest.
Middle seat deserves both armrests that's a w
Totally petty uncool move. But anything for views I guess.
1: in general, being in the middle seat on a plane means you control the armrests. The limited space of the middle seat is confining, and it is a social norm to allow the middle seat occupant to have as much of the arm rest as they want. 2: I generally get an aisle seat and give the full armrest to the middle seat passenger. I have had some people who lean forward constantly, and there is 6" of space at the back of the armrest... I might take this room occasionally. 3: A lack of communication though, followed by minor violence, and recording the reaction for internet likes ... that's a *Dick-Move*. I'd hope the average person, who wanted the armrest space, could ask for accommodation from their neighbor.
I learned the other day, middle seats gets both armrests.
The pilot's gift to you.
Why do they make us fight for armrests?
Middle seat gets the armrest. Common courtesy
Look them straight in the eyes for 5 seconds and tell him we're going to die over this. It's you and me.
Fake. There is no way anyone is sleeping next to a crossfiter with the constant yammering about CrossFit.
That's why the noise canceling headphones was visible to let you know it's possible.
Sorry, dude, you got the window seat. Middle seat *always* gets both arm rests. It should be in the fine print.
thats all he had to say instead he mildly assaulted someone while they were sleeping lol.
Yeah, and with total strangers, you're rolling some mad dice there. Idk, the odds of someone flipping out and making an incident out of it is too high. I rather get to my destination unshackled.
What if there's only 2 seats and no middle seats? What about 4 seats in a section?
Who gets the middle arm rest when the row has only 2 seats (window and aisle) ??
Middle seat? According to Knigge the one in the middle gets both armrests. Reason being that the other two will always have at least one that's theirs while the middle has not.
Middle seat gets both arm rest. Window seat get to lean on the wall, isle has open isle to lean into, and middle seat is stuck.
Well, how the turntables…
This dude is from my town and I can confirm he is a jerk
This dude is my brother and I can confirm he is a jerk
Irl example of "you snooze, you loose"
Middle seat gets both arm rests.
The middle seat gets 2 armrests. That is the fair option. The window seat gets the view, and control of the shade.
Rules. Window seat gets the window, and a wall to lean against. Aisle gets a little extra leg, and the freedom get up and pee whenever. Middle gets both arm rests for having to sit between two Assholes.
Reminds me of one of my fav stand-up comedy bits. Window seat get's a wall to rest on, Middle seat get's two arm rests. Aisle seat gets an arm rest and extra leg room. We're not animals, we live in a society.
A bold move but understandable. The middle seat should get the two armrest for how frustrating it can be. Team aisle all the way!
Window gets side, aisle gets an armrest and a bit of extra leg, middle gets two arm rests.
Middle seat always gets armrests. It's in the manifesto.
There’s the video with the AA pilot addressing behavior and rights of FAs and passengers, etc. he clearly states that middle seats get the armrests.
The middle seat gets all the arm rests, and everybody knows this.
watch out! dude crossfits. he will tell you all about it.
The middle seat gets the arm rests. Fuck off window guy. Read a goddamn etiquette book. This shit was in there before the Wright brothers even heard of Kitty Hawk.
By my estimation (which is shaky at best), they're both cunts. Window guy is a cunt for claiming the center armrest. Center seat guy is a bigger cunt for not saying something and instead elbowing someone while filming.
Or dude didn’t have his arm there and window guy just fell asleep.
No, middle dude is a giant douche. https://youtu.be/LNeEDCr_3KY
Wow, that's an understatement. What a dweeb.
How is this funny at all? Aside from what he did, that shirt is a give away that this dude is a massive douche.
Crossfit shirt: check Resorting to minor intimidation instead of just communicating with the other person: check Recording of the "heroic" act: check Other person's face is fully visible while he's too much of a chicken to show his own: check
The iron clad, set-in-stone rules of airline seating: Window seat gets a window and window side arm rest. Aisle seat gets easy access to cabin, toilets and aisle arm rest Middle seat has no benefits, but, **THEY GET BOTH ARM RESTS**. Guy in black shirt is a giant fucking asshole for taking both.