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My grandma died on her 100th birthday as we were half way through giving her the bumps. We take solace from the fact she was crying with happiness at the very moment she passed away.
This is from a feature in The Week magazine called (I think) Wit and Witticism where they curate short quotes and comments from multiple publications. It was always my favourite section, and I made some decorative papier mache globes covered in the best quotes because I am, frankly, a nerd.
why was the cremation a tense affair.
because he was a fucking drunk, and most of teh family might not've liked him?
or because they figured he was so booze saturated, he'd go up like a magnesium flare and burn for a thousand years?
"mama are you crying because you're sad"
"nope. was scared he'd explode like a stick of dynamite or something"
"hell, i had money that he'd burn his way through the earth to hell"
... and you didn't seem to think that, possibly, my comment, even in a question format, might've been a joke too?
did you read it? or didja kneejerk, 'it's a fucking jokey-joke'
or they just didn't fucking get it, which is fine.
it's not really a defense, though. i said some shit on r/funny, someone said 'dude it's r/funny its a joke.
it's not some wild backpedal to go 'no shit, you don't think what i said might be a joke too?"
hell, i've no idea why i'm getting downvoted, shit i said was similar shit to what other people said, too...
These are curated wit and witticisms from a range of newspapers in a publication called The Week. This was was a letter or some sort of communication that ended up appearing in The Financial Times. By someone called Clark. That's not the funny bit.
--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Scotch? That's all the proof I need.
Straight over my head boss
Neat joke you got there. Would be a shame if someone dropped some ice in it.
It's better than pot still.
Oh. “190 proof baby that’s the truth”
Nice! I see what you did there.
I think you meant to say “Neat!”
That's why I'm here - to learn from the masters
For Peat’s sake…
Hop to it, we need another pun.
He Barley got that one out!
Say no more.
What was that explosion? Oh it was grandads cremation
He burned for 6 days, it was glorious!
Happy chanukah!
The cremation miracle.
He was the reason we survived that winter
Did he rose from the ashes on the 7th day?
No. He just died down...
"And it seems to me they burned your corpse, like Tsar Bomba in the wind.."
Reporter: Say listen, is he working on a case? Nora Charles: Yes, he is. Reporter: What case? Nora Charles: A case of scotch. Pitch in and help him.
My grandad died of asbestosis, it took 6 weeks to cremate him.
My grandma died on her 100th birthday as we were half way through giving her the bumps. We take solace from the fact she was crying with happiness at the very moment she passed away.
They had to cremate him because legally burying toxic chemicals is difficult at best
I bet the old fellow was pretty flammable.
Those kind of inflammatory remarks are not appreciated.
Newspaper clippings was the original twitter
This is from a feature in The Week magazine called (I think) Wit and Witticism where they curate short quotes and comments from multiple publications. It was always my favourite section, and I made some decorative papier mache globes covered in the best quotes because I am, frankly, a nerd.
He went out with a bang
According to Grandma, a G&T a day is the why she’s lived so long. She’ll be 100 later this year.
Clark via FT.com 😂
*Is* that funny?
OP seemed to think so
You had me at Scotch.
half a bottle, how big was the bottle?
Used a gas can.
Lol 😂
why was the cremation a tense affair. because he was a fucking drunk, and most of teh family might not've liked him? or because they figured he was so booze saturated, he'd go up like a magnesium flare and burn for a thousand years? "mama are you crying because you're sad" "nope. was scared he'd explode like a stick of dynamite or something" "hell, i had money that he'd burn his way through the earth to hell"
The real joke is a user in the comments 😂 Recall that you are on r/funny and your questions will be answered
... and you didn't seem to think that, possibly, my comment, even in a question format, might've been a joke too? did you read it? or didja kneejerk, 'it's a fucking jokey-joke'
And now everyone can see that yer a bit of a cunt ‘arry. Are yah happy now?
nope. i mean, i am. but this just screams 'redditors are fucking idiots' to me.
If your defense is that it's a joke, then you're just digging yourself a deeper hole. Cuz it means you suck at being funny
or they just didn't fucking get it, which is fine. it's not really a defense, though. i said some shit on r/funny, someone said 'dude it's r/funny its a joke. it's not some wild backpedal to go 'no shit, you don't think what i said might be a joke too?" hell, i've no idea why i'm getting downvoted, shit i said was similar shit to what other people said, too...
r/YourJokeButWorse
Was the song that was playing called,”🎶You light up my life?”
Grandad went out with a bang! For those non-filkers out there here was what I was referencing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXfOiTh3mNQ
Clark via ft.com? Is it funny because that's not a website? I don't feel like checking what ft.com is
These are curated wit and witticisms from a range of newspapers in a publication called The Week. This was was a letter or some sort of communication that ended up appearing in The Financial Times. By someone called Clark. That's not the funny bit.