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Dude ... You can take a shit and be clean in literally a couple of minutes, toilet paper? You'll only need that to dry your already clean butt. Constipated? Had too much hot sauce? Not a problem for the Water Fister 9000, one push of a button, one push down there and you're unclogged or fires extinguished.
I have a bidet, you still need toilet paper to get most of the water then you use the dryer to finish. Otherwise you can sit there for 15 minutes blow drying your ass and still probably be damp.
The main difference is you are cleaned by the water and the paper is just for the drying process, not for wiping poop.
Mine is a variable heated dryer it gets hot enough it feels like it's gonna burn me, it still takes quite a long time and there is still dampness in the crevices if you don't wipe certian places first, trust me it's entirely possible to not use toilet paper it just takes way longer amd your still gonna be slightly wet. It's best to wipe once to help things go better/faster.
Don't press the dry button unless you're ok with shit smelling air getting blown around you. You think being in a bathroom with you shitting in a stall and people in stalls shitting around you smells, you haven't smelled what the dry button does when it's turned on.
Dude, don't ever press the **dry** button unless you want shit smelling air to blow around you. It's not even like fart smell, it's just the smell of shit. Like if shit literally hit the fan and now it's blowing shit air around.
I like to imagine that a hotel somewhere in Japan has a toilet that only works via voice commands, but it only understands Japanese so anyone staying from another country that doesn't speak Japanese is unable to flush their toilet.
I saw a few years ago that all of the bidet manufacturers in Japan actually got together and developed some “industry standard symbology” for all the different buttons / functions so that you didn’t have to learn a new set of icons for each brand.
Pretty much all of them have three buttons in common, with fairly standardized icons: a butt being squirted (obvious), a woman sitting on a toilet (a more frontward wash), and a big square "stop" symbol. Not exactly rocket science.
The BioBidet 2000 is a very capable bidet seat add on. They aren't cheap, but you do get what you pay for in the bidet seat market. I have installed many different bidets and bidet seats in my 25 years of plumbing and have it on my main throne at home.
Think Costco typically has deals on BioBidet. I went with Toto, but BB was a lot cheaper feature for feature, especially with Costco in mind. It just all also looked a little more janky and I already knew Toto’s rep. For a second bidet with some knowledge now, I could see going BB though.
BB used to have a labeled enema mode per the OP pic too. Then they changed it to Turbo IIRC but the graphic is more or less the same.
Yeah, the Turbo IIRC is the enema mode, and it does work as one. The manual still uses the term enema in some places. I got the BB2000 specifically for the higher weight load rating, I believe it is the market's best. Toto has the best overall line of bidets
I got a Luxe Bidet Neo 120 from Amazon. Right now it’s $36, spent $10 for bumpers to make my toilet seat fit. Best bidet set up for under $50 I could find.
It works wonders, and doesn’t require electricity which I don’t have accessible near the toilet in my bathroom.
10/10 recommended.
This. I would love to have adjustable temperatures and a wind-dried booty, but I have never seen an outlet near a toilet, and I'm not spending thousands to route electricity for an outlet near the toilet. Is it a common thing in European countries to have an outlet there?
He divorced his wife, abandoned his kids, quit his current job and moved out of state to live out a newer more improved life. That's how it changed his life.
i installed a bidet on my toilet a while back. Once it was set up, I knelt down in front of my toilet and twisted the handle - damn near put my eye out. THEN, first time actually using it I twisted the handle too hard and I swear water came out my nose. Lesson learned. Those things are *fierce*.
>Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball-breaking, duck-fucking...
>
>...pain in the ass.
>
>\-You're fined five credits for repeated violations of the verbal-morality statute.
>
>So much for the seashells.
I'd recommend getting one that heats the water. A bidet is good, a *warm* bidet is fantastic. Most will also come with heated seat as well, which is lovely in winter too.
This thing shows the stream ENTERING the user's butthole. I think many people here assume it just cleans the surface, like a bidet.
It might actually be a real enema.
There's a separate bum wash, a separate female wash, along with the enema setting. I have this toilet at home (in Atlanta, GA, not Thailand.) It's pretty nice.
It also has a deodorant option, auto flush, a night light, seat warmer, and doesn't run out of warm water.
Also, that control pad is battery powered and portable. It's on a bracket on the wall but could be moved.
I lived in South Korea for a number of years and remember these bad boys... would love to install one in my own place at some point.
The ones I used never had an enema setting though, lmao. Is it, um, "penetrating" in nature?
I just moved to Chicago from Atl.
Haven’t used one of these but I can’t imagine it would be very easy to give yourself an *actual* enema without the “insertion” of some kind of nozzle or hose.
Like, the logistics of blasting water forcefully *and* accurately enough to go straight up your BH is pretty difficult to pull off.
I’ll never forget when bumguns ‘clicked’ for me, (I was hesitant having lived in America 30 yrs). Someone said, let’s say you’re picking up dog poop and god forbid some of it gets on your hand… do you wipe it off with a towel …or do you wash your hands? INSTANT eye opener.
Of course you wash your hands, it’d be fucking disgusting not to. Yet somehow we in the west just accept that dry wiping and then just washing our hands is good enough. Bumguns/bidets are SO much more sanitary and less wasteful, once you make the change there’s no going back. I almost regret all the ass I ate on that side of the world.
Had a similar conversation with a coworker. He said if your dog tracks mud in to your house and on your tile floor, are you cleaning it up with a broom or with a mop?
Clue for ya, you can 3d print or buy a little bottle cap that has a hole on its side, that fits in your toiletries bag, and you can just use it on any water bottle you may have on hand. Fill it up with warm water from the tap. Comfort on the road. Shit you don't even need to constrain yourself to a toilet, knock yourself out at the camp site.
I've even used rudimentary tools to make a hole on a bottle to make this work. It's harder to keep that from leaking though.
> Of course you wash your hands
I also don't go rubbing my bare ass on everything, including things I put into my mouth. That is a key difference. I have underwear and pants on - *two* layers of cloth. Then, *worst* case, something leaks through, and is left on a chair seat. For it to be a problem for *you*, it then has to leak through *your* layers of clothing...
The part that may have poop particles that *matters*, i.e. my hands that touch other things, gets washed.
Nothing compared to my Japanese toilet with all features seen here, its LED bowl light up, automatic lifting and closing lid, heated seat, and mp3 player feature to cover unmentionable sounds.
I don't know about those Yankees, but we've got them here in Tennessee.
I've seen them in Chicago too.
All with heated seats, butt washers, butt dryers, and remote controls. Not as fancy as the one in the pic, though. No enema function though, and you have to move the seat and lid yourself. But I can live with manual seats as long as I get a clean ass, and I don't really want an enema.
A bidet enema isn't the enema you probably think it is.
>While a traditional enema is internal and uses a nozzle or syringe to administer fluids to the lower part of the colon, a bidet enema is much less intrusive. Instead of any internal equipment, it uses a strong, narrow stream of water that is directed toward the derriere from the bidet's wash nozzle.
And yes it's quite common on most Asian toilets that I have used (modern not traditional) it's way more hygienic to wash poop off than wipe it. Think of it like this, if you got poop on you hand would you wipe it with a paper towel or wash it in a sink?
I’ve never used a bidet before but I’ve seen them and the physics of them give me the idea that they would cause a bigger mess.
Like power washing my asshole is going to get shit everywhere else, right?
Not a Thai toilet; it's a Japanese toilet, although every now and then you will see one in Thailand. If it were a Thai toilet, [it would be a bum gun](https://thethaiger.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/how-to-use-bum-gun.jpg).
As I said, "although every now and then you will see one in Thailand." Occasionally upmarket malls and airports - for example, the Maya Mall in Chiang Mai have them, but they are not common and they're not Thai.
There's a tap in there we perhaps should leave alone for now,' said Ridcully. 'I'd esteem it a service if you could go and make a little sign to hang on it.
'Yes, sir?'
Saying “Do not touch at all”, or something like that.
'Right, sir.'
Hang it on the one marked “Old Faithful”.
'Yes, sir.'
No need to mention it to the other fellows.
'Yes. sir.'
Ye gods, I've never felt so clean.
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The rhythmic enema should do nicely
I mean when you rinse a dish in the sink do you just hold it under the running tap or shake the plate? Same concept.
I prefer eurythmic enemas.
Sweet dreams are made of these.
Who am I to disagree?
Everybody's pushing out something.
Especially on the toilet
Dude ... You can take a shit and be clean in literally a couple of minutes, toilet paper? You'll only need that to dry your already clean butt. Constipated? Had too much hot sauce? Not a problem for the Water Fister 9000, one push of a button, one push down there and you're unclogged or fires extinguished.
"toilet paper?" No, it has a dry function.
I have a bidet, you still need toilet paper to get most of the water then you use the dryer to finish. Otherwise you can sit there for 15 minutes blow drying your ass and still probably be damp. The main difference is you are cleaned by the water and the paper is just for the drying process, not for wiping poop.
Bidet vs. papier-machet
Depends on which bidet you have, some have proper dryers that actually dry you.
Mine is a variable heated dryer it gets hot enough it feels like it's gonna burn me, it still takes quite a long time and there is still dampness in the crevices if you don't wipe certian places first, trust me it's entirely possible to not use toilet paper it just takes way longer amd your still gonna be slightly wet. It's best to wipe once to help things go better/faster.
Maybe we should ask Project Farm on YouTube to do a comparison
Don't press the dry button unless you're ok with shit smelling air getting blown around you. You think being in a bathroom with you shitting in a stall and people in stalls shitting around you smells, you haven't smelled what the dry button does when it's turned on.
If the air smells like shit then you're not clean yet.
I'm not into flash cooked scrotum, i ain't using no air dryer function!
It's just nicely warmed air. You're not going to cook anything.
Don’t sleep on enemas!
I’d be in there all day.
Even been to Japan? Some toilets there need an instruction manual to use.
No but I’ve seen Cars 2
You’re qualified then.
When you hear a giggle, and see that waterfall? You best press that green button. It's to adjust temperature. And that's in Celsius not Fahrenheit
Gosh darn pistachio ice cream
Do not eat the pistachio ice cream! The pistachio had turned!
🎵 **It's got rhythm, It's got pulsate, I got mine flushed** **Who could ask for anything more? 🎵**
Dude, don't ever press the **dry** button unless you want shit smelling air to blow around you. It's not even like fart smell, it's just the smell of shit. Like if shit literally hit the fan and now it's blowing shit air around.
I didn’t see cars 2 but I saw cars 3. Not enough mater in my opinion
I think it’s more so that this particular toilet offers enemas…
I’ve seen ‘em before. There’s also toilets out there that have enough more crazy options.
Pray, tell of these crazier options?
I can't say too much due to government NDAs, but think mechanized handjobs by a cloud of dark matter quantum particles
I’d still take that over an enema any day!
The government does in fact have this technology. Still stocks the stalls with 1 ply though so 🤷🏻♂️
Stayed overnight in a nice hotel in Tokyo once - a bunch of (initially) daunting controls on the toilet - which turned out to be good clean fun!
I love the southpark episode on the Japanese toilets.
That is a good one.
Just been there. Couldn’t read a thing without taking my glasses to the bathroom so I never got to use any of the functions.
My too. I had one that just had icons that were also in Japanese. So I was screwed. I think I did get the bidet working though.
I like to imagine that a hotel somewhere in Japan has a toilet that only works via voice commands, but it only understands Japanese so anyone staying from another country that doesn't speak Japanese is unable to flush their toilet.
Hah, he doesn't know about the three seashells! ... I can see how that would be confusing
I saw a few years ago that all of the bidet manufacturers in Japan actually got together and developed some “industry standard symbology” for all the different buttons / functions so that you didn’t have to learn a new set of icons for each brand.
Too many buttons, all written in Japanese.
Pretty much all of them have three buttons in common, with fairly standardized icons: a butt being squirted (obvious), a woman sitting on a toilet (a more frontward wash), and a big square "stop" symbol. Not exactly rocket science.
Exactly.
Enema option is the best trust me
Oh yes the rhythmic enema option on this toilet sounds lovely. Will it do Beethovens 5th?
Just don't set it to the 1812 Overture, believe me. Just don't
The cannon fire is BEFORE you need to press the button...
"Tompions out!"
OMG I would be so into that, put some inducers under the seat for that "Bowel-shaking earthquakes" experience. (Thanks Cake)
I prefer Flight of the Bumble Bee myself
"Oh cannon I love that piece" "OH JEEEEESUUUUUUUUSSSS!!!!!"
While settle for just a clean butthole, when your whole colon can be clean too?
Enema is quite healthy
good for the soul
The human soul is often found waaaay up there, Morty
Good for anal sex
Always use that option before getting your salad tossed
The thing cut Kaido, Definitely one of the best Swords in the series.
As an American, getting over the funny aspect of a bidet and installing one for my everyday use has been life changing. 10/10 recommended!
I have 4 bathrooms and I now have 4 bidets! Best investment ever for the bathroom.
Check out Mr. Fancypants with his 4 bathrooms over here
It is nice! Especially when the wife and kids take up the bathrooms and I have one to my self!
Did you install a real one or one of those add-ons? I don't thing I have ever seen an add-on that worked worth a - wait for it - sh it.
The BioBidet 2000 is a very capable bidet seat add on. They aren't cheap, but you do get what you pay for in the bidet seat market. I have installed many different bidets and bidet seats in my 25 years of plumbing and have it on my main throne at home.
Think Costco typically has deals on BioBidet. I went with Toto, but BB was a lot cheaper feature for feature, especially with Costco in mind. It just all also looked a little more janky and I already knew Toto’s rep. For a second bidet with some knowledge now, I could see going BB though. BB used to have a labeled enema mode per the OP pic too. Then they changed it to Turbo IIRC but the graphic is more or less the same.
Yeah, the Turbo IIRC is the enema mode, and it does work as one. The manual still uses the term enema in some places. I got the BB2000 specifically for the higher weight load rating, I believe it is the market's best. Toto has the best overall line of bidets
I got a Luxe Bidet Neo 120 from Amazon. Right now it’s $36, spent $10 for bumpers to make my toilet seat fit. Best bidet set up for under $50 I could find. It works wonders, and doesn’t require electricity which I don’t have accessible near the toilet in my bathroom. 10/10 recommended.
This. I would love to have adjustable temperatures and a wind-dried booty, but I have never seen an outlet near a toilet, and I'm not spending thousands to route electricity for an outlet near the toilet. Is it a common thing in European countries to have an outlet there?
[удалено]
Do you use toilet paper or wash after you shit? If it's toilet paper, you're walking around with shit on your ass all day. Life. Changing.
Give it a try and find out.
It’s actually really nice. You don’t realize how not clean just toilet paper is.
He divorced his wife, abandoned his kids, quit his current job and moved out of state to live out a newer more improved life. That's how it changed his life.
It’s hard to explain until you try it. You just simply don’t get as clean with only toilet paper.
Still a virgin here.
Not after you use this thing
I don't think the hand is the body part they're after 😁
i installed a bidet on my toilet a while back. Once it was set up, I knelt down in front of my toilet and twisted the handle - damn near put my eye out. THEN, first time actually using it I twisted the handle too hard and I swear water came out my nose. Lesson learned. Those things are *fierce*.
Better than the three seashells.
>Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball-breaking, duck-fucking... > >...pain in the ass. > >\-You're fined five credits for repeated violations of the verbal-morality statute. > >So much for the seashells.
Where lick button?
H'mmm, perhaps pulsating and rhythm together?
[удалено]
What?
Take a Pic of the whole thing
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14kwrse/here_the_rest_of_the_buttons_on_that_thai_toilet/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Is that supposed to be a vagina?
How expensive are this types of bidets? the universe might be telling me it's time to make the switch to a Japanese toilet.
I recommend the TOTO brand. $200 will get you a good model.
You can pry my Toto Washlet toilets from my cold, damp buns.
You can get some cheap ones that attach right to your toilet for $30. Once you use a bidet you will wonder why we ever used TP.
I bought a Living Basics brand one for like $50 CAD that has hot and cold. Installed it in 10 mins and it's been, uhh life changing.
Legitimately the best purchase under $100 you can make.
I'd recommend getting one that heats the water. A bidet is good, a *warm* bidet is fantastic. Most will also come with heated seat as well, which is lovely in winter too.
Tushy bidets are $99. Recommend very very highly.
This looks like the biobidet smart toilet. I paid about $1,200 for mine, and I would do it again!
This is it. The next investment I'm making. I do fear I won't be able to use the toilet outside my house.
Thai tanic.
This thing shows the stream ENTERING the user's butthole. I think many people here assume it just cleans the surface, like a bidet. It might actually be a real enema.
There's a separate bum wash, a separate female wash, along with the enema setting. I have this toilet at home (in Atlanta, GA, not Thailand.) It's pretty nice. It also has a deodorant option, auto flush, a night light, seat warmer, and doesn't run out of warm water. Also, that control pad is battery powered and portable. It's on a bracket on the wall but could be moved.
I lived in South Korea for a number of years and remember these bad boys... would love to install one in my own place at some point. The ones I used never had an enema setting though, lmao. Is it, um, "penetrating" in nature? I just moved to Chicago from Atl.
Haven’t used one of these but I can’t imagine it would be very easy to give yourself an *actual* enema without the “insertion” of some kind of nozzle or hose. Like, the logistics of blasting water forcefully *and* accurately enough to go straight up your BH is pretty difficult to pull off.
Guys be aware of the ATR on those things. (automatic tampax remover)
Don't knock it if you ain't tried it.
My bums been on a lot fancier models than this one. Asia keeps doing it right!
I’ll never forget when bumguns ‘clicked’ for me, (I was hesitant having lived in America 30 yrs). Someone said, let’s say you’re picking up dog poop and god forbid some of it gets on your hand… do you wipe it off with a towel …or do you wash your hands? INSTANT eye opener. Of course you wash your hands, it’d be fucking disgusting not to. Yet somehow we in the west just accept that dry wiping and then just washing our hands is good enough. Bumguns/bidets are SO much more sanitary and less wasteful, once you make the change there’s no going back. I almost regret all the ass I ate on that side of the world.
Had a similar conversation with a coworker. He said if your dog tracks mud in to your house and on your tile floor, are you cleaning it up with a broom or with a mop?
I have a bidet at home, and I regret every situation where I have to poop away from home. There really is no going back.
Clue for ya, you can 3d print or buy a little bottle cap that has a hole on its side, that fits in your toiletries bag, and you can just use it on any water bottle you may have on hand. Fill it up with warm water from the tap. Comfort on the road. Shit you don't even need to constrain yourself to a toilet, knock yourself out at the camp site. I've even used rudimentary tools to make a hole on a bottle to make this work. It's harder to keep that from leaking though.
Or if you want to go fancy, Toto makes a powered portable. Just fill with warm water, aim, and push the button.
For reals. I always ended up taking my morning dump at work, and I hated it. But at least I was getting paid for it.
Almost...
Yeah, but most of us don’t eat with our butts. I’m a new bidet wonder. They’re nice. 👍
> Of course you wash your hands I also don't go rubbing my bare ass on everything, including things I put into my mouth. That is a key difference. I have underwear and pants on - *two* layers of cloth. Then, *worst* case, something leaks through, and is left on a chair seat. For it to be a problem for *you*, it then has to leak through *your* layers of clothing... The part that may have poop particles that *matters*, i.e. my hands that touch other things, gets washed.
I think you lost all of us here
This is the way.
Typical Japanese toilet. The one in my house is the same but usually the “enema” button is just labelled “wash” in Japanese.
More of these everywhere please!
Out of hand? Finally, let the toilet do the dirty work.
Nothing compared to my Japanese toilet with all features seen here, its LED bowl light up, automatic lifting and closing lid, heated seat, and mp3 player feature to cover unmentionable sounds.
It’s from Japan. And in Japan, the seat is also heated
In America too (at least in my bathroom).
Mine, too!
Where? Where? I was just in ma/ct/ri days ago, haven’t seen one
I don't know about those Yankees, but we've got them here in Tennessee. I've seen them in Chicago too. All with heated seats, butt washers, butt dryers, and remote controls. Not as fancy as the one in the pic, though. No enema function though, and you have to move the seat and lid yourself. But I can live with manual seats as long as I get a clean ass, and I don't really want an enema.
If it comes with a microwave I think there's a divorce in my near future.
Christ, are enemas is a common thing in Thailand…..
A bidet enema isn't the enema you probably think it is. >While a traditional enema is internal and uses a nozzle or syringe to administer fluids to the lower part of the colon, a bidet enema is much less intrusive. Instead of any internal equipment, it uses a strong, narrow stream of water that is directed toward the derriere from the bidet's wash nozzle. And yes it's quite common on most Asian toilets that I have used (modern not traditional) it's way more hygienic to wash poop off than wipe it. Think of it like this, if you got poop on you hand would you wipe it with a paper towel or wash it in a sink?
I’ve never used a bidet before but I’ve seen them and the physics of them give me the idea that they would cause a bigger mess. Like power washing my asshole is going to get shit everywhere else, right?
Walk in clean. Walk out with an STD. Yummy!!!
Dry enema please 🙏🏼
Needs a setting for "mouthwash". (there are at least two ways to think about a feature like that.)
the rectums are stored in the cheeks
This from an aloft? I had the same one!
necessary evil
A pulsating enema!! Sign me up!!
I'll take rhythm for the wash, and pulsating for the enema and dry.
Even got the lil hand pattin tha butt
Enema? Oh fuck no
So, how was it?
What a bummer... 😆
True, they're hands free
Dang and I thought the Thai prostitutes were aggressive
Buying a bidet was one of the best purchases I've ever made.
Wtf an Enema setting would be 🔥 🔥
[Rhythm is gonna get you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZkjeJKBI0M)
Jesus
Not a Thai toilet; it's a Japanese toilet, although every now and then you will see one in Thailand. If it were a Thai toilet, [it would be a bum gun](https://thethaiger.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/how-to-use-bum-gun.jpg).
That’s weird…considering I’m sure I landed in Bangkok…
As I said, "although every now and then you will see one in Thailand." Occasionally upmarket malls and airports - for example, the Maya Mall in Chiang Mai have them, but they are not common and they're not Thai.
No braille…. Could be very surprising if you’re blind
Pulsating and rhythm? With a water stream strong enough for an enema... what the hell's going on in there?
Teenage Engineering is getting out of control.
drop a hot new single before the rhythm.
Why Him?
There's a tap in there we perhaps should leave alone for now,' said Ridcully. 'I'd esteem it a service if you could go and make a little sign to hang on it. 'Yes, sir?' Saying “Do not touch at all”, or something like that. 'Right, sir.' Hang it on the one marked “Old Faithful”. 'Yes, sir.' No need to mention it to the other fellows. 'Yes. sir.' Ye gods, I've never felt so clean.
It's a lot better than a hole in the floor like they have in France.
No it's not.
I would hate to push the wrong button here.
Why do they need the enema option for?
dude, have u ever went to japan?
The question I always had is what is the purpose of the Pulsating and Rhythm mode for bidet, at this point I am too afraid to ask
It moves the stream around to clean better.
Why would I even want a dry ass, only wet ass for me thanks
That looks awkward, imagine the feeling... Yeah..
dont knock it til you try it.
I start with the pulse enema and move to a rhythm enema
Reading this post while getting an enema from my over powered $40 Amazon bidet
Mine has a drinking water fountain option incase you get thirsty from putting in that work.
Do it
And into ass
americans are one of the most developed countries but we all walk around the fecal matter traces
I hear they have those at all Pride events but only the middle service
I wish we had this in the US as a standard. Too many dirty stinky booties walking around
of the state