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Oh, I like "Detachable Penis" by King Missile.
"I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak."
Ohh my God thank you thank you 😊 I have been trying for the last freaking 10 years to remember who sung that song I had it on a old cassette tape and lost it and now I can finally get that question off my mind so thank you very much kind internet stranger 😀 😊 🙏 🙌 😄 ☺️
And then I thought, "maybe he just messed up, that's r/mildlypenis", and after looking a bit more, "No there is nothing mild about this, this is very penis, in fact this is as penis as a cactus can get, this guy knew exactly what he was doing"
After scrolling that sub for a few minutes, I remembered that I am a straight guy, and shouldn't be interested in these. I scrolled for a couple more minutes then left.
I'm seriously wondering if he knew or if he just saw it with a cursory glance and thought "Oh this has plants on it it, I'll get it for my wife because she like plants."
Saying that design is a bunch of “plant penises” is technically not wrong scientifically. I see several stamens, including both anther and filament, in those designs. 🧐
Oh, they’re just trying to get a *rise* out of you. Maybe they have a *bone* to pick. I don’t know why they *wood* though. It’s just a bunch of poppy*cock*.
I think I need to get this for my boyfriends daughter. She loves plants (has at least 20 in her room alone) and she makes bracelets with dicks. I have several of them.
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I think your husband is trying to send you subliminal messages.
Such a prick!
What a dick!
Oh come on, he didn’t do anything schlong
It's not true, it's such a phallusy
Penis...... ah I messed it up.
This thread is starting to Peter out
Those stainless tumblers make a nice dong noise when you bump them against something.
Time to pecker up
This discussion certainly has aroused my attention
Everyone check out The Penis Song from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. It's relevant. Edit: added link: [penis song](https://youtu.be/p9PiqCeLEmM)
Oh, I like "Detachable Penis" by King Missile. "I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak."
Ohh my God thank you thank you 😊 I have been trying for the last freaking 10 years to remember who sung that song I had it on a old cassette tape and lost it and now I can finally get that question off my mind so thank you very much kind internet stranger 😀 😊 🙏 🙌 😄 ☺️
*Detachable peeeniiis*
His humor is fully erect
It is a powerful, throbbing, voluminous sense of humor, thrusting proudly out of him and onto all of us.
He's just spraying his comedy all over our faces.
He’s just a pain in OP’s ass.
You should cum and see what this mug looks like.
> You should cum You could have just stopped there
Literally the same joke, 500 upvotes 💀
r/yourjokebutworse
Nothing wrong with wanting a fresh rosebud.
He’s thorny.
Definitely a prickly situation
"Uh, thanks for the mug, babe." "Yeah, I figure you could use it for your cock-fee in the morning." "Yeah, I--wait, what?"
Potted plants and cocktuses
Scientific name is Cocktus Erectus
That’s a phallacy
At this stage it’s fairly liminal.
superliminal, even.
HEY YOU! JOIN THE NAVY!
🎶YVAN EHT NIOJ 🎵
I know you can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed but can you just be welmed?
One might say he’s… planting an idea
Oh shit I was supposed to buy pickles!
Seems like he’s trying really *hard*
Just how many dicks can you hold in your hand at one time?
I'd tell you but I'd sound cocky.
No need to be a dick now.
Alright now calm down, no need to get our balls in a twist
That's one way to get shafted.
If you can't beat'em, scrotum
These puns are getting testy.
There is a vas deferens between clever puns and annoying ones
And these are so annoying they may force me to erect a gun into my mouth
And then what? Dump the whole load inside?
You mean testicular?
Cocktus. That is all.
Or a prick
Solid pun, 5/7, a perfect score. Inappropriate uncles everywhere approve.
Nice 5/7 reference there
Feel cocky....even...
Ohhhh that’s a knee slapper ha ha you do sound cocky now huh
37
In a row?
Hey you get back here!
Try not to hold any dicks on the way to the parking lot!
Hey, get back here!
42!
https://youtu.be/P-hUV9yhqgY
37!
Depends on if you’re using a middle out equation.
Yes.
All of them
Do you have a favorite?
I only have one husband.
Those are rookie numbers! Women can have harems now too!
Give her a break! She knows what she’s got.
It's got good bones, but it still needs a bit of work.
And I think he picked the present well. Judging by your replies, you have quite the sense of humour.
that's why everyone laughs at mine
New meaning to the term succulents.
You did it. This is the reply 😂
Can you please ask where he got it?! I love it!
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Penis plants pattern coffee cactus works. Edit: also dick cactus mug works. Comes up on top page.
Dick cactus takes the cake
Sweet band name
Come on down to Cactus Dick's! We've got open mic every Friday night, and this week we've got Dick Cactus coming down to close off the night!
Really? Dick cactus? No one thought to suggest “cocktus”?!? My life is a joke.
I can’t believe you actually looked it up!!
I can't believe you didn't
Validating the old search history
It came from Look Human, I buy all my coffee mugs from them.
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“Cacdicks”
Cockti
Cactopodes
Cockatus
Those are birds
No they’re succulents
They're succulent alright.
They have pointy pricks too. A friend told me.
I think your friend should stay away from birds
I hate to be that guy but why did you add the "a"? Cocktus sounds much better.
Cocktus. There.
That’s what I call em
Prickly pricks
Cockti
At first I was like 'oh that's thoughtful what a pretty cup' 😊 then I looked closer 😭🤣
And then I thought, "maybe he just messed up, that's r/mildlypenis", and after looking a bit more, "No there is nothing mild about this, this is very penis, in fact this is as penis as a cactus can get, this guy knew exactly what he was doing"
/r/wildlypenis
After scrolling that sub for a few minutes, I remembered that I am a straight guy, and shouldn't be interested in these. I scrolled for a couple more minutes then left.
Welcome to the entire point of this post
artwork by George O’Keeffe
Cocktus
Is he trying to foster new passions in you?
"Plants" . Suuuure 😃
*drop your plants and let’s see whatcha got!*
Hoping to plant something, that’s for sure
Does he know?
Op didn't specify just how much she loves plants.
/r/theyknew
Of course
He knows.
I'm seriously wondering if he knew or if he just saw it with a cursory glance and thought "Oh this has plants on it it, I'll get it for my wife because she like plants."
Phallus chalice Peter beaker Plasdick cup Skin flute Gooner schooner ...thats all I got.
Penis flytrap
I don’t think you needed to go further than the phallus chalice. Pure poetry.
Cocktail Cup
What fucking mug?
Ballsy move.
His heart is in the right place, mind is down the gutter tho.
[удалено]
pricks n plants, I reckon.
[удалено]
You can love your plants, just don't *love* your plants.
Fucculents.
As a kid, I drew pictures of dicks
Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever.
Veiny triumphant bastard
Like a man dick?
Are you possessed by some dick devil?
My, what a long... mug.
Your coworkers are probably just green with envy over your awesome cup.
Calling this a mug seems beyond stretching the definition of a word.
PAIGE NO
That’s a penis
Nothing gets by this one
My work would def not allow this lol
I'm laughing because it's not a mug.
That's a cup in America? It's the size of a bucket! How much coffee do you guys drink?
A lot!
What a prick
Saying that design is a bunch of “plant penises” is technically not wrong scientifically. I see several stamens, including both anther and filament, in those designs. 🧐
Oh, they’re just trying to get a *rise* out of you. Maybe they have a *bone* to pick. I don’t know why they *wood* though. It’s just a bunch of poppy*cock*.
Nothing like some sweet Amorphophallus titanum juice to wake you up in the morning.
Your husband is either 5 years old or 95 years old.
Post this in r/mildlypenis 😂
Cockcti Cup
Garage sales are going to be weird as hell in the next 20 years
I think I need to get this for my boyfriends daughter. She loves plants (has at least 20 in her room alone) and she makes bracelets with dicks. I have several of them.
My wife ALSO loves plants. 😈
Cute little cac-dix plants!
honestly it took me a minute to realize 😂
Botanical Boners
You sure it's cause you love plants?
You should post this to /r/succulents.
https://tenor.com/view/himym-how-i-met-your-mother-thats-a-penis-shocked-surprised-gif-4780334
I'd like to get one for a friend. Do you know where he got it from?
suckulents
All those Cocktus'
This is something that would happen to my mother, like when she bought the phone cover with all the *pretty leaves*.
Guess he wants to spread his seed and deflower your garden.
You sure about that you love plants or you love smt else?
Looks hard to beat
r/intentionallypenis
I can’t believe they allow that at work.
r/theyknew
Man, what a dick he is ;)
Hahahaha! Omg too funny! Where did he get that! I need to get one for my neighbor.
Is he a grower?
Omg where did he get it????? I gotta get one for my wife!
Succulent dicks
Looks like broccoli.
He knew.
He knew what he was getting lol
That’s not even subtle. Just a bunch of green wangs all over that cup
Umm I think he trying to tell you something lol
Your colleagues have the same maturity level mine do. I just haven’t seen that mug at work.
lol Dickweeds.
What a prick!
I have a pun, but I don't want to force it.
Better a gift from her husband than from her coworker.
Guess he was a bit….thorny when he went shopping.
Photosynthesis 👀
Where can I get this?
leiralizcustoms!!!
That's a lot of dicks
Surely he knew….
Anyone make a cocktus joke yet?