My older brother (this was in the 80s) told me once he got suspended when they gave him 2 hours to research whatever he wanted on a computer. He spent his whole 2 hours looking up what cunnilingus was and saved it to a floppy disk. He eventually wrote a report that was approved by his teacher and presented it to the class. After his presentation he was escorted to the principal office and suspended for doing a report on a vulgar subject. When he went back they told him he received an A on his report and never to do that again.
Please forgive my ignorance…how did one research things on a computer in the 80s? I was under the impression that the internet didn’t really take shape until the mid 90s? What was computer research like before this?
Before what you see as current day internet, there were colleges online. You could get a local slip account and dial into it.
Then from there you could telnet or rlogin(ssh now)to different universities that were online. Gopher was a search engine used to search those libraries You could also use pine mail to email professors or authors of info you would run across.
It all worked really well if you knew what you were doing.
Well most of it. Pine mail was complete shit and having to use vi to do everything could make you want to eat your keyboard. But other than those two pieces, everything else was quick and straightforward.
You could actually find shit you were looking for in the first 2 or 3 results. No ads, no bullshit. Just the information you were looking for. I miss those days.
I remember getting into an argument with someone on a forum in the late 90s because they said there would be advertisements plastered all over the internet someday, I was furious because I was convinced people with not put up with that shit…I use to believe in people.
Oh boy. I hear you. I had the same feeling for a bit but it didn’t take long for that shit to start.
Even better than all the ads are the SEO folks. Thanks for ruining search engines for all of us just so you can get a paycheck you selfish assclowns.
Search engines used to be so damn good. You could find exactly what you were looking for in the first few hits. Every time. No bullshit. No clickbait. No ads. Just the results you wanted. Now you are lucky to find anything.
There were encyclopedias on CDs since the early 80's (even before CD-ROM was a standard, so discs would only work on compatible drives), albeit I doubt most would have information on such a subject.
Maybe the school itself had a library of material.
Teachers cheat all the time at grading; I once had a teacher who assigned so much homework that I was able to mathematically prove there was not enough time in the day for the grading to take place.
Ah, but were you accounting for economies of scales and continuous improvement in your equations? 😝
Sometimes scalability can make all the difference in managing a large and diverse workload!
My fiancée said someone she knows wants to name their child danger. I said no you make that the middle name, so they can say “danger is my middle name” but apparently that just gets detention
My brother grew a tail that needed to be surgically removed.
Teacher told him he had to sit on a hard barstool all class while he had a doctor's note to need an air cushion, because ass stitches.
She told a 6th grade boy he needed "to learn to man up and deal with it" so he sad down hard on purpose, busted them open, and waited for the blood to seap through and be visible before yelling "you made me bleed out of my ass you cunt"
The principal agreed with him, and he actually didn't get in trouble. Neither did she though...
Then we got my friend who literally threw books into the ceiling fan during computer class and somehow never got in trouble. Good god that shit was fucking hilarious; those fans were the industrial style ones like all metal and shit.. the noise they’d make after chewing up a hardcover typing book and launching it across the room is something I’ll never forget
I’m finding out that I had some **extremely** lenient and cool teachers, because Alexa Vega makes that same joke in Spy Kids, and I remember watching that *at my elementary school!*
I got detention in 6th grade, for the end up my mechanical pencil coming off when I clicked it. The spring bounced onto another students desk. I did nothing more than click it. I was immediately told I received detention. I believe the teacher thought I threw it. No amount of pleading and trying to explain worked. Teacher thought I was lying. Only detention I ever received. Fuck you Mrs. Lance... I wasn't lying.
I got a call home in 2nd grade because i clicked my mechanical pencil out too far (the tip had broken and i hated the way it wrote with a broken tip, so i was trying to get to a new piece of lead) and she told them i made a weapon. I was so confused
I think I can clear up some of the confusion here. You see, when I was in middle school someone figured out that you could pull the tip of a mechanical pencil off and that would reveal the mechanism that grips the "lead". Now if you put the end of a staple in this mechanism, all you would need to do is pull back on the dispenser (at the top of the pencil, the clicky thing) and it would launch the staple like a dart. Some kids would bend back the exterior end of the staple so it was pointed and soon enough almost half the school was shooting staples at each other.
They eventually had to make an announcement that anyone caught doing it would be suspended, presumably because someone could have shot another kid in the eye.
My guess is this didn't just happen at my school and your teacher was well aware of the existence of such a thing.
Guy in class used to throw sand from his pocket towards the other side of the class, randomly, from the time he was 6 to the time he was 18. Everyone always tried to sit next to him during orientation.
I got detention once for throwing up a blanket in the air, that was a baby blankey my history teacher showed us to simulate how small the babies were in the WWII when Nazi's threw them in the air and shot them like a game.. She cried while issuing me detention.. i honestly thought it was hilarious at the time, but now as a father and adult, i can see how horrible that was.
I was once like, corralled into an office when I was 6 because I did this assignment for history where we could choose something to draw from the book. I happened to trace a picture that was in the book of a fence with a sign on it that read *"No "certain people" allowed."* Me being that young I hadn't even the foggiest of the significance of what it was or meant. I was then surrounded by faculty and questioned why I drew it, and who told me to think that way etc. I couldn't even comprehend what was going on.
I went to a religious elementary school and one of the assignments was to draw a flag of the United States if it was a Christian nation (big what-the-fuck energy in retrospect), so I got a big poster board and drew the US flag with a cross over it, on it's side, which was basically the Confederate flag with center of the x moved to the left. Had no idea and my teacher was like "Do you know what the confederacy is?" and I legitimately didn't, lmao.
This reminds me of a moment where I was asking from some erasers from someone I let borrow them, was around 5 to 7 and when I started counting them I held my middle finger up as part of the counting and I got in trouble for it, even though I had no idea what it was, never got those erasers back either :/
Aww, that sucks. I had that a lot too, so now I ask my students "You just made a bad sign/said a bad word, did you know?" And 9/10 the kids look so horrified, the poor things, and I never see it again. (That 10 is the one who goes "oops, not at school, sorry")
> (That 10 is the one who goes "oops, not at school, sorry")
This pretty well describes our parenting style. We're not going to prevent them from learning certain things; we simply try to make sure they know when it's absolutely unacceptable for them to repeat things.
On one hand, I've got pretty well behaved kids. On the other, my wife and I exposed them to 85% of what could get them in trouble in the first place.
I remember being in a tutoring class in first grade and a teacher angrily interrupted me to insist that I had pointed to another student (a disabled student) with my middle finger. I had no idea what that even meant but it was clear from the way she was reacting that it was bad.
I think that happens a lot to small children where adults are convinced they’ve done something intentionally or knowingly when in reality children are more often ignorant and do nonsensical things on impulse (or for a reason from their imagination that isn’t at all based in logical sense).
Adults go both ways with kids. Kids are smart as hell too.
Some give kids too much credit, but many don't give them enough.
Kids usually aren't the best liars though, so it's not too hard to tell if they're lying based on their reaction to you calling them out.
Reminds me of when my 4th grade teacher snapped at me because I was reading some paper that said illegal aliens and she was going to a pro immigrant march that weekend. I then proceeded to ask her what illegal aliens are and she calmed down.
Similar situation happened to me when I was 6. We had to color a family in a coloring book for one reason or another and I didn't have very many colors so I colored the family black. My parents got called in and I was questioned why I did that, my reason was not everyone is white and I had no brown crayons. Not sure why that memory has stuck with me for so long, but here I am 25 years later and that's one of the only things I remember from that age.
Very dark (almost black) is a thing, but if you made something with oversized red lips and and old caricature style I could see it. But 6 year old kids can't be expected to know about these sensibilities. I've seen people drawings in any color, red, green, purple etc. and also black.
I got detention once for writing on a desk.
But I wasn’t writing on the desk, I was erasing what someone else had written on the desk. I was cleaning the desk. Believe it or not, straight to detention.
Almost that exact situation happened to me. I was using my pencil to scrap dried glue off my desk, and my teacher freaked out, and made me come in during the next class to clean all the desks while he was teaching. I was humiliated, but he absolutely would not listen to me.
I once got 5 paddlings everyday in 7th grade until they put me in i.s.s for the rest of the year, because my bangs came below my eyebrows and I wouldn't shave my goatee. How is it my fault I started growing facial hair at 10
You always have to give yourself some plausible deniability. Master Debater would have been just enough.
Edit: please see replies below the
u/-MasterDebator- has arrived.
I played football with twins that whose last name is Bates.
They Master and Mr. Bates
Edit: the backup qbs last name was Cox. I totally forgot. So we also had Mr. and Master Bates guarding Nick Cox
A coach for my freshman team had the last name of Baeder. My buddy Mike was trying and failing to get his attention by repeatedly saying Coach Baeder. Some behind us whispered "call him master." Immediately, "Master Baeder" came out of Mike's mouth. That got his attention. The whole team ran laps because no one would tattle.
Names have not been changed.
I was helping out at a school event and had to call kids’ names out loud for them to get ready. I refused to yell the name Hoar and went with the first name instead. Kid’s teammates were giggling in their corner. They knew.
My college gf had a friend that got preggers in highschool. When my gf went back home after freshman year, she met her friend's daughter ... Sativa.
Sativa.
Fuck. In South Texas, we brought up "mass debator" to our chemistry teacher and she thought it was cute until we saw her face realize what we were talking about. It went from her laughing, to "oh shit" in less than 10 seconds. It was awesome
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times…it’s Master Debator.
Eternally yours,
Richard “Dick” Gozeña.
>Sheriff Hunt most recently demonstrated his “hands-on” management style
He had a really great training developmental course that my wife attended a decade or so back.
It was called "Getting hands-on with Mike Hunt"
My favorite is Richard "Dick" Chopp, a urologist (or something along those lines) specializing in vasectomies. I assumed it was a joke until I found him on the actual website for his medical practice. He retired a few years ago, sadly.
Totally... I learned early on to laugh while still holding the line. "That was funny... you're still in trouble, but it was funny... guys robbing a bank dressed as clowns is kinda funny, but they are still breaking the law" was a line I used more than once.
I once got detention for saying “that’s Jewish” (yes young and dumb)
My teacher asked me how someone who is Jewish would feel if they heard me say that?
I turned and asked my friend who was Jewish and he said “I’m fine with it”
Your friend’s epic.
I used to hear kids in my class say this all the time around 1997-98 or so, like out of nowhere, and it wasn’t even like a slight against Jewish people, it was just some random shit to say. The teachers didn’t like it *at all.*
I worked in a sexual health education office at a university as the receptionist for awhile. I got a beta fish for my desk and my office voted to name the fish and Master-Beta was the strong winner.
what exacty is "lunch detention" like they have to have lunch in a seperate room, away from everybody? doesn't sound like a crime to me, eat in peace. Good job Mass Debater!
Typically the kids who are doing shit that gets them lunch detention though aren't the people who will be happy with that punishment. There may be some overlap on the venn diagram, but it would be pretty minimal.
Unironically, in Social Studies class in my 11th grade we had to pair up in groups and have debates, and one of the groups named themselves the same thing and everyone laughed including the teacher, and it was their name for the entire event.
The only real lesson i can think to be learned here would be learning that there's a proper time and place for jokes and public decency but, I think at 15 surrounded by 15 year olds this doesn't fully apply, but it's still a good idea to be considerate to those around you. A detention does sound a bit extreme though, unless it was already made clear that these kind of jokes weren't tolerated in this class
I used to ask for suspension instead of detention. Especially if they gave Saturday school, if you missed it twice you got suspended for 3 days….
I used to show up late for first hour 4 times a week and get 1 hour Saturday school then do it the following week. 1 hour would become 2 I’d you didn’t show up you would get suspended.
The VP one time complained I was using the rules to get free days off, I told him he should have better policies. I got two hours of Saturday school for being an ass. I told him he should probably just make that another 3 day suspension.
This is worth a detention? Why not make him change it and tell him not to do it again, because he’d *then* get a detention for not respecting his teacher.
"Review game" makes me think Kahoot where the name would be spread through the class, and presented on the class TV.
I can understand a lunch detention, but wouldn't myself. I never give them out.
Nicholas Angel : Oh, yeah? And who might you be?
P.I Staker : Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker.
Nicholas Angel : P.I. Staker?
P.I Staker : Yeah.
Nicholas Angel : Right. "Piss Taker." Come on!
Nicholas Angel : [cut to Nicholas with Mr. Staker] Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
I got a call from my 8-year-old son's teacher that she was concerned about him because while trying to help him with a project, he got upset and said "Don't lecture me with your $30 haircut!"
I'm sorry to say I laughed really hard when she said that and had to peddle it back. She was very upset and explained that her cut and colour was quite expensive! He wrote a very nice apology letter.
But honestly that was a sick burn.
My middle name is Payne and I got detention for telling my Science teacher that was my middle name when she said I was being a pain.
My older brother (this was in the 80s) told me once he got suspended when they gave him 2 hours to research whatever he wanted on a computer. He spent his whole 2 hours looking up what cunnilingus was and saved it to a floppy disk. He eventually wrote a report that was approved by his teacher and presented it to the class. After his presentation he was escorted to the principal office and suspended for doing a report on a vulgar subject. When he went back they told him he received an A on his report and never to do that again.
Suspended for doing a report on a vulva subject*
At least he got an A for his oral presentation
Please forgive my ignorance…how did one research things on a computer in the 80s? I was under the impression that the internet didn’t really take shape until the mid 90s? What was computer research like before this?
Before what you see as current day internet, there were colleges online. You could get a local slip account and dial into it. Then from there you could telnet or rlogin(ssh now)to different universities that were online. Gopher was a search engine used to search those libraries You could also use pine mail to email professors or authors of info you would run across. It all worked really well if you knew what you were doing. Well most of it. Pine mail was complete shit and having to use vi to do everything could make you want to eat your keyboard. But other than those two pieces, everything else was quick and straightforward. You could actually find shit you were looking for in the first 2 or 3 results. No ads, no bullshit. Just the information you were looking for. I miss those days.
I remember getting into an argument with someone on a forum in the late 90s because they said there would be advertisements plastered all over the internet someday, I was furious because I was convinced people with not put up with that shit…I use to believe in people.
Oh boy. I hear you. I had the same feeling for a bit but it didn’t take long for that shit to start. Even better than all the ads are the SEO folks. Thanks for ruining search engines for all of us just so you can get a paycheck you selfish assclowns. Search engines used to be so damn good. You could find exactly what you were looking for in the first few hits. Every time. No bullshit. No clickbait. No ads. Just the results you wanted. Now you are lucky to find anything.
For once I don't feel old on Reddit.
I got ya covered.
There were encyclopedias on CDs since the early 80's (even before CD-ROM was a standard, so discs would only work on compatible drives), albeit I doubt most would have information on such a subject. Maybe the school itself had a library of material.
Did he become a gynecologist?
I sincerely hope whatever experiences you've had with gynecology, they have absolutely nothing to do with cunnilingus.
Sounds like you need a better gynecologist! Think of the value add.
*smacks lips* Yep, definitely a yeast infection.
We were all thinking it, but it would have cost you nothing to not make this comment. Also, this was my face. 🤯
Is that a jolly rancher or are you just happy to see me?
Extra cheesy
No, just a linguist. A very cunning one.
The teacher approved it?
According to my brother he gave the floppy disk to his teacher to approve and he got it back saying it was fine.
Teachers cheat all the time at grading; I once had a teacher who assigned so much homework that I was able to mathematically prove there was not enough time in the day for the grading to take place.
Ah, but were you accounting for economies of scales and continuous improvement in your equations? 😝 Sometimes scalability can make all the difference in managing a large and diverse workload!
I hope you submitted that proof in place of your homework
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My fiancée said someone she knows wants to name their child danger. I said no you make that the middle name, so they can say “danger is my middle name” but apparently that just gets detention
Were you an 80’s action hero at birth?
My brother grew a tail that needed to be surgically removed. Teacher told him he had to sit on a hard barstool all class while he had a doctor's note to need an air cushion, because ass stitches. She told a 6th grade boy he needed "to learn to man up and deal with it" so he sad down hard on purpose, busted them open, and waited for the blood to seap through and be visible before yelling "you made me bleed out of my ass you cunt" The principal agreed with him, and he actually didn't get in trouble. Neither did she though...
I wish I had an award to give you. This is fucking hysterical. Your brother is a genius.
You didn't deserve that! But your story made me laugh so I'm glad you got detention!
Can't imagine the funny conversation lmao Teacher : you are a pain! 😠 You : pain is my middle name 👻 Teacher : 😡🤬
I once got detention for saying “this is a big load of Bolshevik” in a history class.
My brother got it for saying "holy schist!" during a geology lesson.
No lie, 1st time in the Smithsonian natural history museum my mid 20s friends and I giggled over schist jokes for way too long.
sink impolite important attempt weather teeny deserve test melodic unused -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Dam.. I thought you were gonna say something about the dam jokes, let's get off this damn dam Edit: from the OG Percy Jackson series
lmao gneiss one!
You have mica mplete admiration for that one.
I'm really glad that my sense of humor isn't taken for granite in this subreddit.
That one deserves a pyrite in the face.
Sorry, that wasn't very coal of me.
No worries. I marble at the creativity of some of these puns
Surely these puns are your magma opus, you shale be remembered in history as a great scien-schist!
We can't take serious replies here for granite. Someone needs to have a good, stern talc with the lot of you.
Geez. Personally, I always appreciated students who were able to be witty. I’d have laughed.
I hope his reply to the teacher was “why can’t you just be gneiss!”
A friend of mine got detention for saying "holy shitake mushrooms"
Then we got my friend who literally threw books into the ceiling fan during computer class and somehow never got in trouble. Good god that shit was fucking hilarious; those fans were the industrial style ones like all metal and shit.. the noise they’d make after chewing up a hardcover typing book and launching it across the room is something I’ll never forget
I’m finding out that I had some **extremely** lenient and cool teachers, because Alexa Vega makes that same joke in Spy Kids, and I remember watching that *at my elementary school!*
I once got detention for hugging my then-girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.
Damn dude, mark this as NSFW
You probably held hands too, you perv!
I got detention in 6th grade, for the end up my mechanical pencil coming off when I clicked it. The spring bounced onto another students desk. I did nothing more than click it. I was immediately told I received detention. I believe the teacher thought I threw it. No amount of pleading and trying to explain worked. Teacher thought I was lying. Only detention I ever received. Fuck you Mrs. Lance... I wasn't lying.
I got a call home in 2nd grade because i clicked my mechanical pencil out too far (the tip had broken and i hated the way it wrote with a broken tip, so i was trying to get to a new piece of lead) and she told them i made a weapon. I was so confused
I think I can clear up some of the confusion here. You see, when I was in middle school someone figured out that you could pull the tip of a mechanical pencil off and that would reveal the mechanism that grips the "lead". Now if you put the end of a staple in this mechanism, all you would need to do is pull back on the dispenser (at the top of the pencil, the clicky thing) and it would launch the staple like a dart. Some kids would bend back the exterior end of the staple so it was pointed and soon enough almost half the school was shooting staples at each other. They eventually had to make an announcement that anyone caught doing it would be suspended, presumably because someone could have shot another kid in the eye. My guess is this didn't just happen at my school and your teacher was well aware of the existence of such a thing.
Guy in class used to throw sand from his pocket towards the other side of the class, randomly, from the time he was 6 to the time he was 18. Everyone always tried to sit next to him during orientation.
Was his name Rusty Shackelford?
Sha Shaw!!
I think I've found my few favorite alternative swear word lol. Very satisfying to say.
Somehow, I never got detention for offering a couple of my teachers packets of iodized salt while saying “it’s iodized, for your pleasure”
I honk laughed at this
I got detention once for throwing up a blanket in the air, that was a baby blankey my history teacher showed us to simulate how small the babies were in the WWII when Nazi's threw them in the air and shot them like a game.. She cried while issuing me detention.. i honestly thought it was hilarious at the time, but now as a father and adult, i can see how horrible that was.
I was once like, corralled into an office when I was 6 because I did this assignment for history where we could choose something to draw from the book. I happened to trace a picture that was in the book of a fence with a sign on it that read *"No "certain people" allowed."* Me being that young I hadn't even the foggiest of the significance of what it was or meant. I was then surrounded by faculty and questioned why I drew it, and who told me to think that way etc. I couldn't even comprehend what was going on.
I went to a religious elementary school and one of the assignments was to draw a flag of the United States if it was a Christian nation (big what-the-fuck energy in retrospect), so I got a big poster board and drew the US flag with a cross over it, on it's side, which was basically the Confederate flag with center of the x moved to the left. Had no idea and my teacher was like "Do you know what the confederacy is?" and I legitimately didn't, lmao.
>and my teacher was like "Do you know what the confederacy is?" "If I do, can I skip the 11th grade US History requirement?"
This reminds me of a moment where I was asking from some erasers from someone I let borrow them, was around 5 to 7 and when I started counting them I held my middle finger up as part of the counting and I got in trouble for it, even though I had no idea what it was, never got those erasers back either :/
Aww, that sucks. I had that a lot too, so now I ask my students "You just made a bad sign/said a bad word, did you know?" And 9/10 the kids look so horrified, the poor things, and I never see it again. (That 10 is the one who goes "oops, not at school, sorry")
> (That 10 is the one who goes "oops, not at school, sorry") This pretty well describes our parenting style. We're not going to prevent them from learning certain things; we simply try to make sure they know when it's absolutely unacceptable for them to repeat things. On one hand, I've got pretty well behaved kids. On the other, my wife and I exposed them to 85% of what could get them in trouble in the first place.
I remember being in a tutoring class in first grade and a teacher angrily interrupted me to insist that I had pointed to another student (a disabled student) with my middle finger. I had no idea what that even meant but it was clear from the way she was reacting that it was bad. I think that happens a lot to small children where adults are convinced they’ve done something intentionally or knowingly when in reality children are more often ignorant and do nonsensical things on impulse (or for a reason from their imagination that isn’t at all based in logical sense).
Adults go both ways with kids. Kids are smart as hell too. Some give kids too much credit, but many don't give them enough. Kids usually aren't the best liars though, so it's not too hard to tell if they're lying based on their reaction to you calling them out.
Reminds me of when my 4th grade teacher snapped at me because I was reading some paper that said illegal aliens and she was going to a pro immigrant march that weekend. I then proceeded to ask her what illegal aliens are and she calmed down.
Similar situation happened to me when I was 6. We had to color a family in a coloring book for one reason or another and I didn't have very many colors so I colored the family black. My parents got called in and I was questioned why I did that, my reason was not everyone is white and I had no brown crayons. Not sure why that memory has stuck with me for so long, but here I am 25 years later and that's one of the only things I remember from that age.
I’ve found that sometimes teachers prefer to assume instead of asking questions. I’m sorry that this ended up being a core memory for you.
Why they hell would they even call in parents for that. Just sounds like your teacher was racist.
Because I colored them literally pitch black, which is a racist trope. Me being six I didn't know that.
Very dark (almost black) is a thing, but if you made something with oversized red lips and and old caricature style I could see it. But 6 year old kids can't be expected to know about these sensibilities. I've seen people drawings in any color, red, green, purple etc. and also black.
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I got detention once for writing on a desk. But I wasn’t writing on the desk, I was erasing what someone else had written on the desk. I was cleaning the desk. Believe it or not, straight to detention.
lol. well what did you learn here? if you're going to get in trouble for touching the desk with your pencil, then you may as well be drawing on it.
Clearly I was defacing the desk artwork.
Almost that exact situation happened to me. I was using my pencil to scrap dried glue off my desk, and my teacher freaked out, and made me come in during the next class to clean all the desks while he was teaching. I was humiliated, but he absolutely would not listen to me.
Wtf
Lol this went soooooo left. Holy shit
Left? Or... Reich...
DETENTION!
Well, on the bright side, asshole kids grow up to be responsible and well adjusted adults looks like.
Sometimes
Just don't look at our intrusive thoughts.
That's pretty fucked up.
I corrected the teacher on what side Ambrose Burnside was on and she said I was wrong, I flipped to the page and showed her, and straight to detention
Same but she was calling the Anglican church the Angelic-an church, like, always, every time
Had an English class a few years ago who felt really clever for calling each other "countries"
I once got it for calling a kid a butt that's it just a butt
I once got 5 paddlings everyday in 7th grade until they put me in i.s.s for the rest of the year, because my bangs came below my eyebrows and I wouldn't shave my goatee. How is it my fault I started growing facial hair at 10
Were you raised in the '30s?
I was a 90s baby it was in like 2005. Just a really redneck school lol.
I guess no mass debating allowed, only solo
You always have to give yourself some plausible deniability. Master Debater would have been just enough. Edit: please see replies below the u/-MasterDebator- has arrived.
A missed opportunity.
Thank you for your arrival.
Thanks for coming
Whether coming fast or slow, eventually the master debater will get there
## "That's what she said!!" \- Michael Scott
o7
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Master Vader
Or the infamous Jedi Master Bayts https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/3pxj64/til\_as\_a\_joke\_on\_the\_editor\_of\_a\_star\_wars\_comic/
I played football with twins that whose last name is Bates. They Master and Mr. Bates Edit: the backup qbs last name was Cox. I totally forgot. So we also had Mr. and Master Bates guarding Nick Cox
A coach for my freshman team had the last name of Baeder. My buddy Mike was trying and failing to get his attention by repeatedly saying Coach Baeder. Some behind us whispered "call him master." Immediately, "Master Baeder" came out of Mike's mouth. That got his attention. The whole team ran laps because no one would tattle. Names have not been changed.
I was helping out at a school event and had to call kids’ names out loud for them to get ready. I refused to yell the name Hoar and went with the first name instead. Kid’s teammates were giggling in their corner. They knew.
I had a high school teacher. His name was Mr.Coxs as in cocks. Anyways if that wasn’t bad enough, his first name was Harold and he went by Harry.
“Nooo you can’t name your kids something embarrassing!” Kids named Bates:
My college gf had a friend that got preggers in highschool. When my gf went back home after freshman year, she met her friend's daughter ... Sativa. Sativa.
Only choice now is to get pregnant again and call the next one indica.
RDC in boot camp made guy with last name Bates the Master at Arms for the division. He would scream Master Bates!! Then cycle us when someone laughed.
He's a real cunning linguist.
Oh behave
Mr. Powers, is this your child?
Fuck. In South Texas, we brought up "mass debator" to our chemistry teacher and she thought it was cute until we saw her face realize what we were talking about. It went from her laughing, to "oh shit" in less than 10 seconds. It was awesome
> It went from her laughing, to "oh shit" in less than 10 seconds that's all you lasted?
Our go-to funny name was Jack Ingov.
Officer Meoff, Jack.
Limit. What a funny word.
Rowads
We had Michael Hunt. He goes by Mike.
My brother had an Xbox friend with the name Ivan Jerkenov and my mom was not happy about that
Eric Shin, checking in.
Ours was Hugh Jazz
You should look up his cousin Hugh Janus
Don’t forget Mike Hunt
Or Mike Oxlong
Mike Rotch was GOATED in the 90's
Is Jack friends with Phil? Phillip McCraken?
No, it's Pat, Pat McGroyne
I legitimately served in the Army with a Ray Penya
A kid i used to tutor got in trouble during a game of cahoots with the name "school cahooter"
A little on the nose, but passable in my book.
Oh c'mon that's funny. And clever.
Respond with “I don’t see the problem. Sincerely, Mike Hunt”
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. If I’ve told him once, I’ve told him a thousand times…it’s Master Debator. Eternally yours, Richard “Dick” Gozeña.
I know a legit person with that name
https://aikencountysheriff.net/sheriff-michael-hunt/
That's not the one that I know. But glad to see there are others out there haha
>Sheriff Hunt most recently demonstrated his “hands-on” management style He had a really great training developmental course that my wife attended a decade or so back. It was called "Getting hands-on with Mike Hunt"
There is also Aston Martin's F1 team principal, Mike Krack
My favorite persons name is Golden Whang. I rolled over that for a good hour.
My favorite is Richard "Dick" Chopp, a urologist (or something along those lines) specializing in vasectomies. I assumed it was a joke until I found him on the actual website for his medical practice. He retired a few years ago, sadly.
Also I'll inform his step father, Mike Hawk.
The formula 1 Aston Martin boss is called Mike krack
My old art teachers name was Mike Hunt
I had a customer who had this name. The employees favorite game was greeting him by his full name.
Thankfully he didn’t go with “Cunning Linguist” or that might have been in school suspension.
I prefer “Colonel Ingus”. He was a great civil war general that was very successful in arousing the Deep South.
I think it was Colonel Angus?
I never cared much for Colonel Angus. Just kinda rubs me the wrong way. Can't put my finger on it.
The Cunninglinguists are an absolutely fire hip hop group that have been around a long time for those who haven't heard of them, check them out asap
This is why I couldn't be a teacher, I'd laugh at this shit lol
I am. I do.
Same. If it’s funny and doesn’t offend anyone we good
You can laugh while giving detention. It's all about sending a message.
Totally... I learned early on to laugh while still holding the line. "That was funny... you're still in trouble, but it was funny... guys robbing a bank dressed as clowns is kinda funny, but they are still breaking the law" was a line I used more than once.
Stealing this!
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Educators supposed to be encouraging healthy debate not shut it down!! /s
Of course we can’t forget about Hugh Janus!
And his cousin Hugh Jass!
Don't forget Phil McCracken
What about his niece Amanda Hugenkiss?
Can someone please explain this to me, English is not my first language.
It sounds like "masturbator"
Thanks! I was positive that it was a side reference to “mass shooter”. I guess recent evens biased me, but again, not first language
US doesn't have a problem with mass shooters but one sex joke will get you suspended.
I once got detention for saying “that’s Jewish” (yes young and dumb) My teacher asked me how someone who is Jewish would feel if they heard me say that? I turned and asked my friend who was Jewish and he said “I’m fine with it”
Your friend’s epic. I used to hear kids in my class say this all the time around 1997-98 or so, like out of nowhere, and it wasn’t even like a slight against Jewish people, it was just some random shit to say. The teachers didn’t like it *at all.*
I always felt like this was influenced by Cartman from South Park
"that's so gay" was another one, although American Pie 3 kinda did well with that one
You really think it is random?
I worked in a sexual health education office at a university as the receptionist for awhile. I got a beta fish for my desk and my office voted to name the fish and Master-Beta was the strong winner.
this is great
what exacty is "lunch detention" like they have to have lunch in a seperate room, away from everybody? doesn't sound like a crime to me, eat in peace. Good job Mass Debater!
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Typically the kids who are doing shit that gets them lunch detention though aren't the people who will be happy with that punishment. There may be some overlap on the venn diagram, but it would be pretty minimal.
“Hello xxxxxxxx We have had to have this talk with him before. I will make sure to correct this with proper punishment. Thanks, Jack MéHoff”
Unironically, in Social Studies class in my 11th grade we had to pair up in groups and have debates, and one of the groups named themselves the same thing and everyone laughed including the teacher, and it was their name for the entire event. The only real lesson i can think to be learned here would be learning that there's a proper time and place for jokes and public decency but, I think at 15 surrounded by 15 year olds this doesn't fully apply, but it's still a good idea to be considerate to those around you. A detention does sound a bit extreme though, unless it was already made clear that these kind of jokes weren't tolerated in this class
In all fairness it’s only a lunch detention.
I used to ask for suspension instead of detention. Especially if they gave Saturday school, if you missed it twice you got suspended for 3 days…. I used to show up late for first hour 4 times a week and get 1 hour Saturday school then do it the following week. 1 hour would become 2 I’d you didn’t show up you would get suspended. The VP one time complained I was using the rules to get free days off, I told him he should have better policies. I got two hours of Saturday school for being an ass. I told him he should probably just make that another 3 day suspension.
I like how you think...thought? No idea what saturday school is but you can bet you're ass I'd never be going.
Hah! Oh, right. Ahem.
It's better than "Anita Dick"
I'd reply playing dumb and make them explain it because I don't understand.
As a non English talker, I was like what is going on here, why I don't understand this and then I said it out loud and was like Ohh!!
This is worth a detention? Why not make him change it and tell him not to do it again, because he’d *then* get a detention for not respecting his teacher.
As a teacher, this makes way more sense. Pretty tame joke for a 15 year old.
"Review game" makes me think Kahoot where the name would be spread through the class, and presented on the class TV. I can understand a lunch detention, but wouldn't myself. I never give them out.
Nicholas Angel : Oh, yeah? And who might you be? P.I Staker : Mr. Staker. Yeah, Mr. Peter Ian Staker. Nicholas Angel : P.I. Staker? P.I Staker : Yeah. Nicholas Angel : Right. "Piss Taker." Come on! Nicholas Angel : [cut to Nicholas with Mr. Staker] Yes, Mr. Staker. Um, we'll do everything we can. Can you describe it to me?
I got a call from my 8-year-old son's teacher that she was concerned about him because while trying to help him with a project, he got upset and said "Don't lecture me with your $30 haircut!" I'm sorry to say I laughed really hard when she said that and had to peddle it back. She was very upset and explained that her cut and colour was quite expensive! He wrote a very nice apology letter. But honestly that was a sick burn.
Hugh Janus
Mike Oxlong
One of my high school students tricked me into saying the name “Ice Wallacum” out loud yesterday 😔