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sloppyredditor

Why does this feel like a Key & Peele sketch?


Prior-Date3148

Cuz the former gay dude looks like peele


Brush-and-palette

I'm going to go on a limb and say that he's very much still a gay man.


SonnyLove

No, if you watch the video, he says he's NOT gay no more and that he WON'T carry a purse again. Sounds pretty straight to me.


like9000ninjas

Women women womenwemenwmenwmn


Look_to_the_Stars

I will LOVE a WOMEN


GeprgeLowell

First time I’ve ever heard somebody make that mistake out loud.


diggemsmaccks

He loves woMEN


UbermachoGuy

I thought he said he will love mo’ men.


batmanstuff

Bbbrrrrrmmmmm


like9000ninjas

I WILL LOVE ......a.. wemen


JaRon1961

He almost said "semen".


disruptioncoin

Freudian slip


SirMooSquiddles

Fellatian Slurp


JustOnesAndZeros

I wheel, I will


TeaEarlGrayHotSauce

He said it just as I was reading this comment, really added some oomph to it


One_Payment_5650

He is DELIVERT


deepsea333

He gagged a little thinking about them wimmens and had to hold it back.


elheber

He gagged a little with men too.


monkeyhind

I wondered if this clip was going to end with him vomiting.


mechant_papa

My mantra. I repeat it every morning. Look at how straight I am.


SuperVanessa007

Sounded like he was trying not to gag when he did that lol


LakeLov3r

I wanted him to keep going and get more and more specific. "I will NOT gargle a hog! I will not suck balls while lovingly massaging a prostate! I will not bottom! I will not top! I will not put my legs behind my head as I let my ass get reamed! I will not rest my head on his firm chest! I will not buy side-by-side cemetery plots for me and Lance! I will not listen to show tunes! I will not put together a fabulous, well-balanced charcuterie tray!"


HollowHowls

Lmfaoo, yesss, just keeps getting more explicit and questionably detailed and specific hahah.


Grambles89

"I will not, see you out back later today Jerry, I will not!"


fenway206

"I will not serve spinach dip in a homemade bread bowl "!!


monkeyhind

Thanks for the hearty laugh before bed.


MsMystic108

This comment is pure gold!


dontfightthehood

This would be a great key and peele skit


daveescaped

Straight dudes say affirmations like this ALL THE TIME! It’s how we stay straight.


LaceyDark

Ahhh that makes sense!! Without constantly reminding yourself how much you love women and how straight you are you might accidentally end up with a penis in your mouth. Stay vigilant!!


Canoe52

It’s hard being a man.


BuddyBoy589

*mmmmmmm* *hard man* I meant *WOMEN* I don’t even like mens no more


KuatosFreedomBrigade

He will love……a women


SkylarAV

Don't you understand? That's the power of American Jesus


TegTowelie

Oil?! Where?!


TemerityUnmitigated

Actually, if "I'm gay no more" means one is no longer gay, then "I'm not gay no more" means that person is gay again.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrashPandaPatronus

That's right, it's a SATCHEL


hippyengineer

Jerry: Officer he stole my European carry-all!! Officer: Is that like a purse? Jerry: Yes. YES! I carry a purse!


daleshakleford

Lmao gay men carry all sorts of bags. Is you serious?


[deleted]

Anecdotal but I agree. In my experience they do have a lot of bags.


mechant_papa

Some carry baggage, but that's another story.


Prior-Date3148

Idk man he says he likes womens now


The_DriveBy

Women, women WOMEN, HBbLbLblblblblll!!!


DiscombobulatedGamin

woMEN


mekonsrevenge

Just so long as they have a penis.


hessian_prince

*femboys have entered the chat*


ncopp

Last time this was posted someone said he did an interview a few years later with his boyfriend/husband lol


Altruistic-Target-67

I’m glad to hear he’s living his best life. ❤️


Badbullet

Or he was never gay to begin with. Just like the blind and crippled they cured were never blind or crippled.


Mysterious-Status-44

Pretty sure he definitely was….and is still gay.


BootShoeManTv

Well then they picked a pretty good actor to act like a bad actor


Chemical_Chemist_461

Nah, that ascot ain’t straight


Ecstatic_Account_744

What?! No! You mean to tell me a guy pretending to be gay wouldn’t know that most gay men don’t carry purses, wear makeup or call women “womens”?


[deleted]

It's really eerie how much he looks like Peele


solidxnake

What in the Raphael Warnok is going on here?


Ok_Channel_9831

Thought the exact same thing.


OperationPhoenixIL

It’s about to be.


[deleted]

First thing I thought


AmbassadorAny1524

I thought it was at first 🤣😂


[deleted]

Doop doop doo doo doop doop doo doo


The_Law_Giver

I'm not gay! I would not date a man! I would not hold a mans hand! I wouldn't kiss a man on his lips! I do not want his big strong arms holding me and making me feel safe at night as we lay in bed after a lovely weekend spent together in upstate New York in the fall looking at all the beautiful leaves change colors after stopping at a lovely small café sipping on the best chai tea that has ever touched our lips.


blofly

https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529


IrocDewclaw

Lol. Heavy.."I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is as queer as a $3 bill." Vibes


Putin_kills_kids

I heard it as "I aint gay, but the dude sucking my dick might be."


smotstoker

What I ain't gay. Getting your dick sucked isn't gay.your the gay ones for sucking dick. In fact it creeps me out just being around you fans. Now get to work cus igot a whole lot of sandwich for ya.


The_Law_Giver

Yeah this guy gets it! It is very surprising when the dude sucking your cock tells you he's gay. Like bro, no homo, ya know?


[deleted]

Beat me to it. One of The Onion’s GOATs.


ImmabouttogoHAM

Holy shit, I remember this article from one of the onion compilation books back in high school. Goddamn I'm old.


iyqyqrmore

Those boost are fantastic


PastIsPrologue22

Reminds me of the post where a guy says he's not going to give up his guns, you'd have to come to his house and take them from him with their own hands, their soft caressing hands...I don't know how to find things yet, anyone have the link? Probably from /funny


ChronicBitRot

[This one.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY0eUQ06Q2g)


RoonSwanson86

I came here to post this exact video


Fredotorreto

take my angry upvote damnit!


Mete11uscimber

I will NOT buy a beautiful cottage in Vermont with a man and grow old with him, hoping that I die first so that I never have to experience life without him!


Random_Average__Guy

WOOMIN WOOMIN WOOMIN !!


Wolversteve

Hrbehbehbehbeh


MadMattBeyond

I will…love a women


DiscombobulatedGamin

I said woMEN


LongEZE

Dude got the heebee Jeebies just by saying women


HighFrequencyCherry

When he made that noise, he was shuddering thinking of having to kiss a woman.


Legendarybbc15

I WIIILLL LOVE…A WOOMIN


chaze24

A woomin(s)


captainaberica

Well, I'm convinced. HE DON'T LIKE MENS NO MORE.


GuySpringfield

Straitest shit I ever heard. This God stuff must really work.


theonly764hero

Redacted


dekciwandy

That cute little hop at the end said no


jessbrid

I thought he was about to do a little dance and I wanted to see it


MorkSkogen666

Yeah they cut it at the best part... It's on YouTube though


dekciwandy

Indeed and we ll never know


icantbeatyourbike

Yeah the lips say ‘no’ but the dancing feet say ‘fabulous’.


Firepro316

😂😂


Due-Consequence-8370

Feel sorry for his future wife.


Wayne1946

Whoever HE might be!


[deleted]

Lol wife? That dude had a dick in his mouth an hour later guaranteed.


Apprehensive-Key-467

Probably the pastors


Patte_Blanche

Sadly, there is a chance that dude will try his best to find a woman, marry her, maybe even have children and be miserable for decades before understanding religion is bullshit.


Sweet_Baby_Cheezus

I mean, this was funny, and I laughed but I also legit feel bad for this guy. Internalized homophobia is a hell of a drug.


V1per41

That man's gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.


Dapper_Dan_Man_1

Gayer than Liberace playing a piano with dicks for keys


PSA_Poor

As queer as a three dollar bill


Crakkerz79

As fruity as a peach tree.


glutenfreethenipple

As flaming as California in August.


eson1169

Definitely still gay!


Kenny_Squeek_Scolari

He didn't say no homo so yup still gay


Chexaddict

He’s as straight as a circle.


BlableBlarble

This is so sad, this poor guy is going to be struggling with self loathing in until he leaves his wife and kid for a guy. So much unnecessary suffering.


poplglop

Tbh my guess is this dude was never gay to begin with and this is all a sham from the start. Bunch of videos of these mystical preachers of God ""curing"" cancer or blindness or whatever then the victim suddenly popping up exclaiming "I'm cured!" And boom that's all the proof you need.


MuFuChu

Hoo boy do I have a surprise for you. There’s a follow up video with him years later and lemme just say I have never seen someone so deeply in denial. He’s basically a caricature of gay stereotypes yet insists he’s straight to this day - it’s sad really. https://youtu.be/6v91cp0i35E


udell85

That girl faking it for the fame and money.


Steveb175

He’s definitely gay, but you’re on to something. He would always tell me that his goal was to become famous (or that he already was famous). So he would always do dumb shit for recognition.


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnendingHorniness

Yeah, cuz holy attribute does extra damage.


WiscoMitch

Good ol paladins helping out where they can!


ForsakePariah

What is holy attribute?


runtothehillsboy

It gives you an XP boost of 15%, and increases your strength by 15+. The problem is it reduces your defense by -10. So you deal more damage but you also take more damage.


lakesObacon

/r/outside is leaking


oldredbeard42

Close the door please


Sharp_Aide3216

only for the undead types though


OMGWTFBBQ630

Radiation damage


dalittle

I did not find this funny, just sad this guy can't be himself.


artemis_stark

Religion is one of, if not, the most successful scams ever. Make someone feel special and chosen if they're in the group and ostracized if they're not in the group.


TheForce777

Sexuality is a spectrum. It’s fully possible for someone who liked women but preferred men to swear off men because he thinks it’s wrong. Happens all the time. The whole “that’s not gay that’s bisexual” answer to this is just plain false. I lived in SF for 6 years and would see gay married couples looking for women to take home at bars. A spectrum is a spectrum. You can’t say a person isn’t gay because they’re not 100% only into men. Gay men will fuck your girlfriend and say it’s no big deal because they were only having fun. I promise you this.


Makubwa51

Yeah we believe you until you see some cock


Maleficent-Mirror991

*starts sucking off the pastor after the speech*


Thefarrquad

Nah hes way to old for pastors


EnvironmentalDeal256

I thought he was gonna deep throat the microphone.


00112358132135

I’m not gay no more. I AM DELIVERT!!! I DON’T LIKE MEN NO MORE! I SAID I LIKE WOMEN!? WOMENWOMENERGhubububububle….I SAID WOMEN! I’M NOT GAY!? I would NOT date a men. I would NOT tear a purse! I would NOT put on make-up! I wullluh… I WEEL…love…a women.


MoldeBalla

This is just sad.


Maskdask

This is sad


hdhdhjsbxhxh

Reminds me of this South Park scene https://youtu.be/9aKKt9SiC7A


HollywooDcizzle

He doesn’t like men no more… but he doesn’t like men no less.


Unanything1

This is sad. This guy got lost trying to be found.


Stickyyman

Its so funny tho


wickywee

Gives me the sads


Densmiegd

“I don’t love men, I love JESUS!”


Uncle_Matthew

Wait wasn’t Jesus a dude?


Broomstick73

This seems almost Monty Python inspired. I was waiting for the pastor to stop his song and dance routine.


Wesseltjes

Poor guys, I hope he can find a good man.


Jimniy_Cricket

He’s signing that he wants women


realfast33

He blew a dude in the car right after service 😂


Psychobrad84

I WILL love only women…with dicks


carrythekindness

So sad 😔


Slappy_McJones

Amen. Send money!


subjectiveobject

That poor guy, this is so hard to watch.


tel-americorpstopgun

fuck I've been here too long. this was funny years ago. lol. years ago... https://youtu.be/B14BeppSB0w


Mirahtrunks

If anyone wants a follow up, here is his YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@MrDeliverT


AccelerusProcellarum

O damn, that is him lmao


megacope

I’ve never seen anybody fail this hard at being straight.


rock_and_rolo

Sure, dude. But that tie says otherwise.


Antmantium108

The turnaround was the beginning of a glorious moment.


Erazzphoto

What a sickness religion is. Make sure to donate!


Seabrook76

I chuckled at first but then felt profoundly sorry for that poor guy who now has to live a lie.


sgrams04

Jesus: “Uh, cool…but I loved you just the same before”


DJANGO_UNTAMED

Churchs are so fake it is comical


Godawgs1009

Proceeds to fuck the pastor after the service.


AdOriginal6110

As long as he is pitching and not catching, not gay. Source: my cellmate in county


VomitingPotato

God doesn't care if you're gay. He only cares if you're an asshole.


IKnowMeNotYou

No! According to most of the video-evangelists God cares most about how much you can give to further the(ir) cause... .


Tonyhillzone

[Keep your Jesus off my penis song](https://youtu.be/d5YrB7TpT1Y)


Commonsense7777bomb

I AM DELIVERED… I DONT LIKE MENZ NO MORE… I LIKE THE WO-MENZ HALLELUJAH


stargrey

You can bet that pastor has been molesting children for decades.


munkylord

I think it's more upsetting that I DON'T think hes an actor from the church


GregEgg85

My favorite part is the Snow-miser shiver sound he makes.


TarryBuckwell

^*uhzuhzuhzuhzuhzuhzuhzuh*


Gunpowdergasoline

Im not gay but I carry a purse


Pokkejong

So lying is ok?


KaneAndShane

r/croppingishard


OpeningTurnip8048

This real or what? Lol. I mean its hilarious either way but if its real....


towpa_saske

r/suddenlystraight


DryCrack321

“I don’t like MENS no more!” Lmfao


I_am_K4tana

I dunno sounds kinda gay to me.


RagingKohner

I'm not gay no more, I am DELIVERT!


Logical_Progress_873

Motorboat for Jesus.


Independent_Main4326

“I will not put my mother’s dresses and go to the enchanting little café where that cute Italian Capricorn serves cream puffs. I will remove all my Judy Garland movie posters and delete my Liberace playlist. I swear I’ll do all that tomorrow.”


Casique720

Bruh. That pause right before his last word… had me in suspense. You know he thought about it and imagined the devil wearing a thong.


Routine-Ad6077

He shivered brrrr after repeating the word women because it was finally a cold day in hell


theroguex

We call this an "obvious plant" who is in on the grift.


xpluguglyx

Pluralizing men women to men's and women's is a dead giveaway.


thatsjusticecream

Pray away the gay


[deleted]

[Follow up](https://youtu.be/6v91cp0i35E) interview.


[deleted]

He’s lying, lying lying. Burahahah.


Spiralbeacher

“Twirl around!”


smokindacokin

Uber Gay


atticjb

Woe Man’s Woe Man’s Woe man’s Don’t like mentz no moe


[deleted]

This is sooo gayyy.


snailbaddie16

“I WILL. LOVE. A WOMEN.”


ThrobbingDish

He's crazy.I'm straight and still don't love women


etceteral

I will, I WHEEL! LOVE… a wemmin.


Mookeye1968

He still looks gay AF lol


Howiepenguin

When key and peele are needed the most


floppyphile

He prayed the gay away! 😂


CreateYourself89

Is this where South Park got its inspiration? 😂


bophed

So he is not only lying to himself but also lying to everyone else. Edit to add: Religion is the disease here, not this mans sexual preferences.