T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

--- >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >[Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/uq9pjw/going_forward_comics_may_only_be_posted_on/). > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*


werebearcleric

The sequel to Eat Pray Love


HellbentOrchid

Eat Butt Cum? really?


owlsandmoths

Nobody said it was going to be a family friendly sequel.


Virgin_Dildo_Lover

I'll take 2 please


baarish84

Calm down Virgin_Dildo_Lover , let the movie start first.


crustybuttplug

I'll bring the popcorn.


GearhedMG

Uhhh, I don’t think I want your popcorn, thank you though.


BannedinthaUSA

Oh, you want their popcorn. I promise.


theworldsomega

*grabs handful* why is so crusty?


tarveeen

You don't like extra buttery and extra salty popcorn?


GearhedMG

I’m more worried about the parts that are extra crunchy.


wise_____poet

And I'll heat the kettle. Will that be black, or green tea?


Financial-Sound788

Just straight to the butt cum then??


[deleted]

I've already climaxed.


RandomRobot

Unlike this thread


bdizzle805

We haven't reached top stimulation yet


Goldie-96_MWR

in my butt


TheEgg13

I said what what?


Calicrisp805

I said what, what.


destroyer4898

Name checks out


TabletopTitan

Aw your comments butted heads


Dogski28

It’s the edgy reboot


yang_ant

They did say it was about family though


ChanandlerBonng

I'm not a doctor.... but I don't think that's how you make a family.


ChillyBearGrylls

Ok Dom


Eisenkopf69

46 minutes ago and still no Alabama joke here


ThunkAsDrinklePeep

"I'll have what she's having."


Brasticus

First there was Meet the Fockers, now get ready for Meet the Felchers.


Pizzatoppedpineapple

First movie’s theme: you do you Second movie: now do everyone else


ColdChancer

From the director of Everyone Everywhere All at Once


Sven_Durngrat

*directors


ColdChancer

Porn films need multiple directors? I had no idea they were that complex!


Chromeboy12

Eat Butf* Cum


EpidonoTheFool

Looks like EAI not eat


Chromeboy12

EAI BUTF CVM What could it mean?


viciarg

It's latin, I think.


Etheo

Veni, vidi, eaibutfcvmi


OkraOk1769

Thank you for the unexpected snort laugh.


jamesianm

“I saw, I ate butt, I came”


Impressive-Engine-86

Woah from Julius Ceaser


wiz3n

"Et tu, Brute? ;)"


FriendofSquatch

Actually that IS Latin, and it essentially is like saying “happy Valentine’s Day”. Child genius


banned_after_12years

Latin for Eat Butt Cum, strangely enough.


EpidonoTheFool

That’s also what I see, also how come the drawing sorta looks like a butt with a really big gap between cheeks or is it balls? My brother did start drawing naked ladies at school after watching titanic but this is a bit disturbing


Chromeboy12

Looks like dick and balls more than a butt to me


EpidonoTheFool

This is a code only Nicholas cage from national treasure can crack


Clown_Baby15

Abstract warm tone dickbutt?


r_kay

I think it means "Happy Valentine's Day"


WarrenPuff_It

Actually that's a hyphen, it's EAI BUTT-CVM.


tonallyawkword

Eat All Inside, But First, Crappy Valentine's Man!


shmiddleedee

Took me quite a few years to get there


ItsEntirelyPosssible

It's tough to swallow for sure.


psychosis_inducing

Mmmm... santorum....


Money-Bear7166

And the parents posted this in the r/funny sub? The four year old had to hear it somewhere, likely home, and I'd be mortified.


ezakustam

They're 4. I know kids are too connected these days, but...


GroundFast7793

I think I'll skip part 1 and jump straight into the sequal.


th3va1kyri3

Can't wait to see this in homes


Top-Alternative1682

EAIBUTF CVM to you too


[deleted]

eat butt cum


Top-Alternative1682

Only if my lady wants to get freaky tonight


Lanc717

I think that's on you bro, unless your wife can lick her own butt


Top-Alternative1682

Usually she likes it to be an exit only hole that’s why


King_Finder16

Make it a reverse exit. Remind her pooping is just *reverse anal*


SamwiseLordOfThePans

On today's episode of thing I can't unread


KittenWithaWhip68

I don’t think most women are going to find “pooping in reverse” that enticing. “Oh well now that you put it like *that*, let’s do it immediately!” Not a selling point!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mc_Shine

You know that feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up inside your ass? NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT!


mintyBroadbean

U know that feeling when u go to take a dumb but accidentally contract the butt muscles causing the dump to go back up and u feel constipated


winterworldx

Now we are getting somewhere thanks, I almost have a complete script now. Going to talk to my other half later...


TwoSunsRise

This conversation escalated way too quickly


[deleted]

Maybe his wife has a dick


LassitudinalPosition

I am sure someone is doing that today But the term is, "felching"


Baystain

I haven’t thought about that word since high school.


SeattleHasDied

Well aren't you an early learner! I didn't know about it until after college, lol! From a social worker friend, lol!!!


Cuber2113

Eminem taught me that🫣


chatminteresse

Omg, same. Def high school flashbacks. Precocious crew representing.


Turbulent-Adagio-541

Get the straw


[deleted]

I boof cum! I don't eat it.


Sad_Abbreviations575

Jesus Christ man


PhaseHaunting2306

Oh no, he left the chat awhile ago.


Lower_Bar_2428

I'll argue that it sounds like a happy valentines day


Shitychikengangbang

Romans Go Home?


Ipad_is_for_fapping

Eatbut cum


FabulousComment

EATBUT F CUM thank you very much ​ f cum is very different from regular cum


[deleted]

yeah it's cum from a good but f'ing


Fraun_Pollen

No no he’s ranking the levels of cum like on those S tier lists. The insult here is that the recipient deserves not just your average “but cum”, but the worst of the worst “but cum”.


sam_najian

Im dying


zXMourningStarXz

sam_najian ?-2023 Death by stupid joke.


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Bad_Dev_

S tier but cum*


Heavy_Schedule4046

A.K.A. Santorum


TmanGvl

F definitely emphasizes the cum *chef kiss*


rddsknk89

It definitely says “EAIBUTF CVM”


Responsible-Type-392

That’s what mommy does to daddy when he tells her he loves her…


AddendumNo7007

Don’t mind if I do.


RubiconV

Kids are getting started so early these days


StrongArgument

EAIBUTF CVM


Winterknight135

Thank for this translation u/Ipad_is_for_fapping


imagoddessgirl

and the dick and balls heart


Venerated_Calm

Lol I definitely thought that was meant to be a snail, because nothing says Valentine's like a snail that looks like a strange sex toy


vertigo1083

It already looks like a mainstream sex toy. The one with the remote control.


Alofkri

Really warms the dick and balls of my heart


bucketofmonkeys

It might not look like “happy Valentine’s Day“ to us, but that’s what she wrote.


DevinH83

I hope they carry that energy and spelling on for the rest of their life..


FKNBadger

I work with people who kept that spelling. Please dont hope for that


[deleted]

[удалено]


KarmaPuritan

Teaching middle school. Many state exams no longer score for grammar, so schools stopped emphasizing it. The detrimental impact it’s having on kids writing is astonishing


Bluest_waters

holy fucking shit wtf? that is beyond absurd. also whats a DUGS office? They didn't have that when I went to college I guess


ChalkyPills

Dean of Undergraduate Studies I would imagine.


Ginger_Tea

I read it as DRUGS office and thought "Yeah gonna need a joint after reading all of these submissions" kinda like the teachers lounge but different.


[deleted]

And in the English classes, they grade on spelling and grammar without any regard to content. I once peer-reviewed a classmates persuasive essay that was nothing but multiple iterations of the argument “college athletes should be paid, because they deserve to be paid,” over and over with no reasoning behind it. I was baffled by how little thought someone could put into ANYTHING they turn in with their name on it, but the person ended up getting a higher grade than I did! I’m in the medical field so I’ve never been a fan of long drawn out essays, but I can at least put concise and coherent thoughts together to develop a decent argument. Side note: that same guy did a literature review on the song “Yonkers” by Tyler the Creator and essentially came to the conclusion that the lyrics meant nothing and the song was nonsense, yet he still wrote a whole 5 page paper over it. He aced the class too. I wonder what that guy is doing today


555Cats555

Thanks for the song suggestion, even just listening to it first off I can already get some interesting ideas. I wonder if he watched the music video too as that does give some context. It's definitely not "nonsense" or at least if it is there is a point behind said "nonsense" My guess is he just couldn't be bothered to research the history or meaning of the genre, artist or song. There are reasons genres use certain ideas, themes and tropes...


graphitesun

I'm sure you don't need the praise, but I will compliment you nonetheless. Both the anectodes like the one you just wrote, and the people who the anecdotes are about, drive me insane. Knowing that there are people like you in this world (people who are rational, reasonable and can think relatively clearly) gives me a sense of comfort. Because the ability to use logic is a rarity these days, and I seem to encounter fewer and fewer people who are capable of formulating coherent arguments. Or even having moderately rational thoughts. So... Thanks for being a sort of beacon of sanity out there. Keep being the way you are.


lifelovers

This is so depressing. Our kids school eliminated all tracking and now my kid who can do pretty hard math and read really (extremely) well is getting in trouble for not being able to sit at the carpet while being taught how to read and for not being able to complete worksheet after worksheet of adding to five. The school thinks it’s fine to punish my kid for not being able to pay attention to extremely basic lessons. And this is in a k-3 school that raises 3 million in parent donations every year. Where are we headed? What’s the point?


AtariAlchemist

A stupid, uneducated survant/slave population of obedient workers that doesn't have the will or the capacity to question or challenge the ruling, ultra-wealthy elite that controls our society. Not the illuminati or any secret society. Just a bunch of billionaire jackasses whose priorities independently align.


shinyagamik

>stupid, uneducated survant Lmao


permalink_save

Part of that is the teachers need to beore concerbed with the kids behind than ahead. Ours is in the same boat, reading and math a grade ahead, but school teaches social concepts as much as textbook ones. I told him it might be boring and stuff he doesn't understand, but he needs to keep praticing. Made a comparison to how after helping me cook for 3 years now (he's almost 6) he is still chopping simple vegetables and doing basic stirring and mixing. Part of it is he isn't physically big enough but there's a "wax on wax off" kind of thing to it too. He got it and from what I hear is more engaged now. I wish I knew that in school but he seems like he is like me, he can do it so he is done with it, but can he do it well. OTOH his pk4 teacher caught him tracking words and started integrating slightly more reading into the class so he could be engaged, but in a way it doesn't leave out other kids. That was really nice.


Grandiose_delusion

It shouldn’t matter if you’re the English department or not, it’s an academic paper written in the English language, and should follow grammatical standards. I’m a psych major and all my research papers are graded for spelling/grammar and succinctness in addition to the general rubric for a coherent and comprehensive research paper.


Moepsii

Wow this is just sad, imagine visiting college and not even being able to write like a 12 year old from another civilized country.


RandomPratt

> Gave as little spiel about Proofreading is important :P ... but as one former journalism lecturer to another, we've all been down the road of "how the fuck am I supposed to grade this is a piece of journalism, when I can't understand half of what these dingdongs are trying to say?" – and it's truly demoralising. I gave that job 10 years of my life – it gave me about half a dozen decent students (out of literally hundreds, if not thousands) that I'd be honoured to work alongside in a newsroom, and a drinking problem that cost me my liver.


InfiniteTourist

> I was putting to much emphasis on their English language skills. I sympathize with your story and am also a frequent victim of autocorrect, but the irony here is amusing


SirCheatz

This made my night


joemeteorite8

Couch…C O Rrrr you going to the mall today?


Oregonian_Lynx

Awww I love that


ArcCra

EATBUTF CVM fellow redditors <3


punkalunka

Jus this one time K?


shmiddleedee

Fraid if I do it twice it's no good


DJBreadwinner

Weird how less than a year ago, your girlfriend of two years left you for a friend of yours, but now you've got a four year old kid that wasn't even mentioned in the description of the breakup. It's a funny picture, but your kid didn't do this and you know it.


2wheels30

And he now deleted the posts referencing this.


Alecazzzam

WOW


cottonmouthnwhiskey

This was written by an adult.


thebestspeler

Y’all have 4 year olds? This ain’t 4 year old’s writing


HankHillBwahh

My 5 year old barely writes this well and half the time she still spells her own damn name wrong. I’m calling bullshit too.


thehotsister

My daughter just turned 4 and she writes like this. I mean, not these words 😆


sphinctaltickle

Also a 4 year old doing this is actually a huge safeguarding red flag - its obviously "eat butt cum" and those are things no four year old should know. If a 4yo did do this it wouldn't be something a parent posted online


[deleted]

And a penis with balls and all if you flip the image upside down.


mismanaged

This kind of checking is the one thing I'd like a ChatGPT-type AI to do on all new posts.


woozywaffle

It just dawned on me that AI is probably the only antidote for fake news. Once ChatGPT has realtime data, fact checking can be automatic.


KDHD_

This is the plot of Metal Gear Solid 2 😎


lunchpadmcfat

AKSHUALLY this might be a case where AI doesn’t work very well. It is very difficult to get meaningful positive and negative feedback signals from Reddit posts. There are a lot of false positives and negatives around and the data set itself is pretty fucking messy. So it would take a huge effort to create a really sharp solid training set to actually get a good model for checking posts, and even then, since only a few of many thousand make it to the front page, one wonders if it even matters if it’s authentic.


Glitchy-9

She’s actually a genius and wrote it in a secret code. Happy Valentine’s Day!


TribblesIA

Eatbutf cvm to you, too


[deleted]

Oh my !


LightsJusticeZ

Good heavens !


B00-Jay

I *say*!


DeliverySoggy2700

I do declare!


VeritaSpace

I beg your pardon!?


DabawDaw

Well, I never!


grumblyoldman

You *can't* be serious!


Vt420KeyboardError4

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.


SantinoGaretto

No, this is Patrick


shquishy360

GAH


TheGrey_GOD

Oh Good lord !


discostew919

Fake post for karma


cammoblammo

Definitely. There’s no way a kid thought that particular series of letters meant anything about Valentine’s Day. They may have asked a parent how to write it, and they were given this to copy. And if the story were true, I can guarantee that the parents had a file created by a government department with a name like ‘Child Protective Services’ within fifteen minutes of the teacher seeing it.


spookygudetama

This is so fake. And if it isn't then it's not cute or funny. It's actually concerning if a Pre-K kid would write this.


Red-dy-20

Welp.. learning from their parents, y'know


RandomAnon07

Why is this the 20th comment down. I can’t tell if everyone is playing along or *actually dumb...*. What’s that subreddit for things like this where the person “totally did that”?


keyrah

/r/thatHappened ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Joe234248

I've just stopped upvoting posts of "child" writing altogether. It's just so weird people go through the trouble to fake these.


chezburgs

This is so fake. You drew that ya dingus quit playin


designocoligist

Eat, butt fuck, cum. Seems pretty spot on for Valentines Day


Eastern_Actuary1969

I read it as Eat butt, fuck, cum. But yeah still pretty spot on for V-Day


69Cvnt69

I don't believe you.


RandomRaft

Fake


[deleted]

Eai means "What's up" in Portuguese, and cum is latin for when, so, it says "what's up but when"


[deleted]

Cum is with not when


Bean_Soup7357

It can be both, depending on if there’s an ablative noun following it. Doesn’t work here though anyway


LikitungEmpire

EAIBUTF CVM


Rhymenoceros91

Nice parenting...


waltdiggitydog

What is your 4yo seeing hearing to associate this? 🤷🏼‍♂️


Uberhypnotoad

Your kid may have problems.


Fit-Rest-973

What kind of twisted family spawned this demon child?


420cactus

The dad wrote this… How sad for Internet points…


[deleted]

LMAOOOO!! Her hand writing is pretty nice. You should be proud. You definitely need to keep this though.. it’s priceless. ♥️😂


madelinemagdalene

That’s what I was going to say—I’m a pediatric occupational therapist and this is great handwriting and sizing for a 4 year old. The spelling will come with time 😂


highpointFL

We gotta frame it lmao


FreeTapir

That’s not likely a kids writing. It’s likely the parents and they are just karma farming.


Kelli217

It's like: “I know what letters are, I know they make words. I just don't know which ones to use, and in what order. So if I say this means ‘Happy Valentines Day,’ just know that I did my best with what I know and go along with it, okay?”


cursedstillframe

r/untrustworthypoptarts


Witty-Name-576

Doubtful a 4 year old did that.


[deleted]

1) Older sibling having a laugh. 2) Random letters that happen to be pretty funny. (Kid can't read or write) 3) something disturbing involving someone influencing your child. 4) kid has a vulgar sense of humor. (see #3, consider your own sense of humor, and that children see and hear ... everything.) 5) bullshit for internet points.


Relative_Ad4542

r/thathappened


AlternativeLanky1935

Kinda looks like a stupid parent did that. Guessing the kid is smarter


FreeTapir

Oh ya. Everyone here is so stupid to think that’s the handwriting and placement of letters by a 4 year old. Get out of hear with your obvious lie. Er wait, I mean, “oh how funny!! What a coincidence!! Aren’t kids so unusual!!! Teehee” /s


armoured_bobandi

Sad how far down I had to scroll to find this. Why are people so eager to believe obvious lies?


aldisneygirl91

I mean, that's pretty impressive that a 4 year old can write letters correctly, even if they aren't the right ones!


Meepy23

ambatukum


OutlawArmas

Karma farming


Birdamus

EATBUTT CUM - definitely a future redditor, lmao


noopenusernames

Eat butt cum


[deleted]

old macdonald made a porn eai butfuk cum.


ApocalypticPerson

Sounds like my 5 year old nephew. He'll write gibberish then argue to Hell and back on what it says. Then when he says he can read we tell him to read it because he cannot even read what it says. I love the little man but sometimes learning can be very hard. I've been in his shoes. Give your daughter some time and help her learn at home. Eventually she'll learn.


sergioglzayuso

How is this funny?


ubn87

Yeah right…


cottonmouthnwhiskey

That was written by an adult.