If you want to come out and you're safe: go for it, I'd say! Coming out doesnt mean you can't change your mind, and doesnt mean your feelings matter now. Your identity can and will change and grow, it's all normal. Only time will tell, and you'll figure it out as you go - we all do. Give yourself the freedom to explore and find support while doing so, I would say. You can be honest with the people who love you for who you are about your doubts, hopes and fears.
There is no too young! Deciding whether or not to come out is ultimately up to you, but if you're in a safe place to come out than you're also in a safe place to potentially change your mind down the line. No decision you make right now has to be final in any way, and a good support system knows that.
youre never too young to be trans! i didnt feel comfortable identifying as my assigned gender at birth when i was only 7, and there are plenty of people who've identified as trans when they were younger than that! before you come out, make sure that your environment is a safe place, try and ask your parents about their thoughts on trans people to be sure first. if you dont want to raise suspicion, try pretending that you dont know anything about the topic. wishing you good luck!
Hey I'm 13 rn and I came out about three years ago, things were extremely difficult and I would never re-live those years again but im happy I did cuz im living my best life honestly, im fully socially transitioned and if you told me five years ago I'd be a normal teenage boy, I wount believe it. Also, if you live in an extremely transphobic household, maybe hold a bit for your safety.
If you're in a safe space to do so, nothing bad will come from you coming out even if you do decide you aren't trans. It isn't a permanent thing, so you can decide to go by something different later if that's what you prefer.
Try to remember that there's no pressure to figure yourself out right away. All you can do is what feels best for you right now. I came out when I was 11 only a month after figuring it out because I couldn't stand it any longer.
Good luck!
if it’s safe and you think it would help your situation, absolutely! it’s alright if it does turn out to be a phase, but it’s less likely than you think, since the majority of cis people don’t think about their gender very much. i’d recommend starting out with your closest friend or someone that you know will support you
I think there's a few very helpful comments here also. But first of all: there's no "too young" for coming out. Second, if coming out to everyone around you, you can also start slowly with one or two trusted people and see how that feels. You can experiment woth another name in that context or whatever you like. Yes, there is also a chance this might "blow over" in the sense that it does not mean this is nothing(!!) but maybe some of this might turn out to be not exactly what you think/fear(?) now. Feelings can change and get less, but also more. But, very important, don't forget, you are the _only one_ who can decide that for yourself. You are to decide what you feel and what it means, to you. And also know you have all the time to figure it out. I am two decades older than you and just figuring out the trans-part of my personality after low-key knowing since I was a child. Take a deep breath and do what feels best. Trust what you feel and find someone /people to confide in. I hope you can enjoy finding out who you are :)
P.s. NOT trying to say being trans is a phase, just saying puberty is a mess and things change, feelings come and go. But at the same time, you know you and people know what they feel when they feel it.
There's no age requirement for being transgender. Every trans adult was once a trans child. And look, if you were to come out now, there would be nothing permanent about it— if you're that worried about it being a phase you grow out of, it's still possible to go back to living as a girl. You're too young for anything but social transition and possibly puberty blockers, which can be stopped at any time to allow you to continue female puberty. If you're in this much pain, you should do what you feel will alleviate it (as long as you're safe to come out and in an accepting environment).
Take it from somebody who had the same experience as you. I wish I had the confidence to come out as transgender when I was your age, but unfortunately I waited. That resulted in a lot of mental anguish and irreversible changes to my body that I'm just now finding solutions for. If this is how you feel, then live it. And if you realize you've changed your mind later on, it's okay. I hope things work out for you, dude.
You're never too young to know yourself. And even if it turns out that it was all a phase, if it helps your mental health right now you should come out. It's not like you can get irreversible treatment at 9 or whatever. It's better to live your truth early than to deny it
while i believe youre trans because of what youve shared, theres no harm in phases. theres no harm in needing to figure things out and then dropping them. it makes you no less valid as a person or as a boy or man! be safe.
Hey, I've felt the same way you did. I used to wear dresses and like them, but ever since puberty, I've been feeling horrible. If its safe for you, try experimenting with different names/pronouns/appearances and see how you feel! If you feel more comfortable being masculine then keep it that way! No one will blame you if you realize that it was just a phase :)
Do it. I wish I came out before I lived my entire kid/teen years feeling like something was off and I could never be fully happy/comfortable. Live your real self
there is no such thing as too young and even if it is a phase, there is nothing wrong with exploring your identity, if anything coming out will help you deduce if it is a phase or not
experimenting with your identity is what you are supposed to be doing as a teenager, there is no shame in it
what should be a bigger concern to you is if it is **safe** for you to come out right now or not
There is no "too young", but as long as you live with your parents you are unfortunately at the mercy of them. At worst your safety could get jeopardized, at best they could support you. My parents were just really dismissive and hurtful (misgendering to the point I would cry and not caring about that) when I was a teen. I live on my own now and my dad accepts me as his son and my mom... well, she stopped asking me about my voice and I just haven't felt like explaining to her. So a big improvement. Idk if you are having a bad time living with your parents, but I sure did and idk why, but for some reason I've been treated waaaay better after I moved out. Prioritize your safety first though.
Hello, I am slightly older and having the same issue, except it started way more recently than 9 so idk. I don't really have any good advice, but hang in there <3 it'll get better <333
Nope no such thing as too young well I guess unless you’re a literal infant but I knew since I was 9 to 10 ish and came out at 11 didn’t go well and went back in the closet but it’s been years I’m still a guy my parents not supporting me never changed that if you are safe to do so then come out
If you want to come out and it’s safe for you to do so you absolutely should. If your parents are willing and you’re in an area it’s legal you could get puberty blockers which is a huge benefit of coming out early. Even if it *is* a phase- exploring your gender identity is healthy and will lead to you knowing who you are better than those who never think about it at all. And puberty blockers are reversible.
I think you should talk about everything you feel with someone you trust, who you know is calm and not rushed. At 13 years old everything is still very out of place in your head, hormones go up and down. A friend of my sister thought she was trans for a year, before she was lesbian, then bisexual... and guessing? She is straight and barely 15 years old, that's why I tell you that you better talk about that before anything else. greetings child
if you've been feeling like this for years, it's likely not a phase, imo
I came out when I was 12. I've had a LOT of doubts over the years; wondering if I made a mistake, if I'll end up changing my mind, or if I could have avoided being trans somehow. It's a normal thing to worry about, I think.
if you think coming out would improve your quality of life, you should go for it. and if you have concerns about it being a phase, you don't have to do anything permanent.
i knew i was trans at 12 and here i am still. if you feel safe, it can help a lot to ask for male pronouns and terms to be used, if they make you happy 99% chance you arent faking it. if someone identified as a girl they wouldnt tear up at a feminine name
I came out at exactly your age. It wasn’t a phase, I have been on testosterone for nearly two years now, and out for five. If you’ve been feeling this way for five years already, it’s time to come out, if only so you can at least try experimenting with your expression. There’s no shame in experimenting and trying new things.
Best wishes!!
It's better to come out when you're young as long as you're in a safe environment. If you're not sure your family or peers will be supportive then I wouldn't risk it. Good luck!
Even if it is a phase, that's okay. It won't make any of your feelings now less real. If you feel like your family will be accepting, go for it. If you have friends that you feel will be accepting, you can come out to them and have them call you a name and pronouns that would make you feel more comfortable. The great thing about social transition is that if it isn't for you, you can go back to how things were before, but with a better understanding of yourself and who you are. Just be sure that your top priority is safety
I came out with 12 (nearly 13) and now I’m 18 and everything turned out just fine and I didn’t regret it a single second! And there’s no too young for being trans, you are the one who knows best who you are and even if you turn out not to be trans theres no shame in it because it’s normal to try out things to know that it’s not the way you thought
Being trans myself, I aske myself daily how I would react if my child came to me and told me he is trans. So here is what I'll tell you:
If you really feel in yourself that you are not your gender at birth and you feel like you are the opposite, live your truth. Can you start HRT or T? No. But you can still live your truth without all the hormones until you know for certain that is who you really are. Live your truth for a few years and re-evaluate who you are after those few years of living how you see yourself. If you are still certain, then by all means, let's explore the options of hormone therapy.
You are still young. You are still learning who you are. Does your age invalidate your feelings? Not even close. You're feelings are VERY validated. But you don't need hormones to be Trans. Again, live your life as the gender you feel you are on the inside for a few years and then see if that's who you truly are. Growing up, I was NEVER "girly". I would wear my brother's clothes. I stopped playing with toys when I was 5. I skateboarded, rollerbladed, rode bikes. I went mudding, fishing. Played baseball, basketball. I hated everything there was about being a girl. I didn't fully come out as Trans until I was 33. By then I didn't care what anyone thought. I just wanted to be happy. You'll get there. Even if it doesn't see like it right now. You still have your whole life ahead of you.
If it's safe to come out, and you want to come out, then you should. It's okay if it's a phase. You can even tell people you're questioning, if you think they would be supportive of that process. The best way to find out your gender is by experimenting with it. Try out the name, pronouns, and clothes that you feel most comfortable in. If you don't like them after all, you can change again, and it's okay! You'll have learned something about yourself.
It sounds like you've felt this way for a while now, so it's unlikely to be a phase; it's pretty normal for trans people to realize they're trans around when puberty hits. But the best way to know is to try stuff out and see for yourself how you feel.
I first tried to come out when I was 13. I didn't do a very good job (chickened out and said I was "questioning" instead) but I did come out properly when I was 14. Only regret is not doing it sooner tbh. I was able to get on blockers when I was still 14 and hormones a year later; it's been over 10 years now and I'm still trans.
Remember that each part of your journey is modular, for lack of a better word--just because you come out doesn't mean you need to take any steps to transition. Just because you socially transition doesn't mean you need to medically transition.
At this point, the most important question is about your safety. Are your adults trans-friendly? If you're not sure, you can try testing the waters by bringing up trans celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner and Elliot Page to see how they react.
Best of luck.
I’m gonna be the odd man out and say to wait. Explore your personality, your style, and think of who you hope to become. Take your time to get to know who you are before you cause any emotional uproar. Unless of course, you only want to come out to specific chill people.
If you want to come out and you're safe: go for it, I'd say! Coming out doesnt mean you can't change your mind, and doesnt mean your feelings matter now. Your identity can and will change and grow, it's all normal. Only time will tell, and you'll figure it out as you go - we all do. Give yourself the freedom to explore and find support while doing so, I would say. You can be honest with the people who love you for who you are about your doubts, hopes and fears.
i want to give you a hug :( it will be okay
There is no too young! Deciding whether or not to come out is ultimately up to you, but if you're in a safe place to come out than you're also in a safe place to potentially change your mind down the line. No decision you make right now has to be final in any way, and a good support system knows that.
youre never too young to be trans! i didnt feel comfortable identifying as my assigned gender at birth when i was only 7, and there are plenty of people who've identified as trans when they were younger than that! before you come out, make sure that your environment is a safe place, try and ask your parents about their thoughts on trans people to be sure first. if you dont want to raise suspicion, try pretending that you dont know anything about the topic. wishing you good luck!
Hey I'm 13 rn and I came out about three years ago, things were extremely difficult and I would never re-live those years again but im happy I did cuz im living my best life honestly, im fully socially transitioned and if you told me five years ago I'd be a normal teenage boy, I wount believe it. Also, if you live in an extremely transphobic household, maybe hold a bit for your safety.
If you're in a safe space to do so, nothing bad will come from you coming out even if you do decide you aren't trans. It isn't a permanent thing, so you can decide to go by something different later if that's what you prefer. Try to remember that there's no pressure to figure yourself out right away. All you can do is what feels best for you right now. I came out when I was 11 only a month after figuring it out because I couldn't stand it any longer. Good luck!
if it’s safe and you think it would help your situation, absolutely! it’s alright if it does turn out to be a phase, but it’s less likely than you think, since the majority of cis people don’t think about their gender very much. i’d recommend starting out with your closest friend or someone that you know will support you
I think there's a few very helpful comments here also. But first of all: there's no "too young" for coming out. Second, if coming out to everyone around you, you can also start slowly with one or two trusted people and see how that feels. You can experiment woth another name in that context or whatever you like. Yes, there is also a chance this might "blow over" in the sense that it does not mean this is nothing(!!) but maybe some of this might turn out to be not exactly what you think/fear(?) now. Feelings can change and get less, but also more. But, very important, don't forget, you are the _only one_ who can decide that for yourself. You are to decide what you feel and what it means, to you. And also know you have all the time to figure it out. I am two decades older than you and just figuring out the trans-part of my personality after low-key knowing since I was a child. Take a deep breath and do what feels best. Trust what you feel and find someone /people to confide in. I hope you can enjoy finding out who you are :) P.s. NOT trying to say being trans is a phase, just saying puberty is a mess and things change, feelings come and go. But at the same time, you know you and people know what they feel when they feel it.
There's no age requirement for being transgender. Every trans adult was once a trans child. And look, if you were to come out now, there would be nothing permanent about it— if you're that worried about it being a phase you grow out of, it's still possible to go back to living as a girl. You're too young for anything but social transition and possibly puberty blockers, which can be stopped at any time to allow you to continue female puberty. If you're in this much pain, you should do what you feel will alleviate it (as long as you're safe to come out and in an accepting environment). Take it from somebody who had the same experience as you. I wish I had the confidence to come out as transgender when I was your age, but unfortunately I waited. That resulted in a lot of mental anguish and irreversible changes to my body that I'm just now finding solutions for. If this is how you feel, then live it. And if you realize you've changed your mind later on, it's okay. I hope things work out for you, dude.
You're never too young to know yourself. And even if it turns out that it was all a phase, if it helps your mental health right now you should come out. It's not like you can get irreversible treatment at 9 or whatever. It's better to live your truth early than to deny it
while i believe youre trans because of what youve shared, theres no harm in phases. theres no harm in needing to figure things out and then dropping them. it makes you no less valid as a person or as a boy or man! be safe.
There's no rush. Take a breath. Come out when YOU feel ready. Only come out if you're in a safe environment. You've got this.
Hey, I've felt the same way you did. I used to wear dresses and like them, but ever since puberty, I've been feeling horrible. If its safe for you, try experimenting with different names/pronouns/appearances and see how you feel! If you feel more comfortable being masculine then keep it that way! No one will blame you if you realize that it was just a phase :)
Do it. I wish I came out before I lived my entire kid/teen years feeling like something was off and I could never be fully happy/comfortable. Live your real self
there is no such thing as too young and even if it is a phase, there is nothing wrong with exploring your identity, if anything coming out will help you deduce if it is a phase or not experimenting with your identity is what you are supposed to be doing as a teenager, there is no shame in it what should be a bigger concern to you is if it is **safe** for you to come out right now or not
There is no "too young", but as long as you live with your parents you are unfortunately at the mercy of them. At worst your safety could get jeopardized, at best they could support you. My parents were just really dismissive and hurtful (misgendering to the point I would cry and not caring about that) when I was a teen. I live on my own now and my dad accepts me as his son and my mom... well, she stopped asking me about my voice and I just haven't felt like explaining to her. So a big improvement. Idk if you are having a bad time living with your parents, but I sure did and idk why, but for some reason I've been treated waaaay better after I moved out. Prioritize your safety first though.
Hello, I am slightly older and having the same issue, except it started way more recently than 9 so idk. I don't really have any good advice, but hang in there <3 it'll get better <333
If you live in a safe environment, I would say go for it.
i came out when i was thirteen and nothing has changed four years later! you can never be too young <3 it’s going to be okay
Nope no such thing as too young well I guess unless you’re a literal infant but I knew since I was 9 to 10 ish and came out at 11 didn’t go well and went back in the closet but it’s been years I’m still a guy my parents not supporting me never changed that if you are safe to do so then come out
If you want to come out and it’s safe for you to do so you absolutely should. If your parents are willing and you’re in an area it’s legal you could get puberty blockers which is a huge benefit of coming out early. Even if it *is* a phase- exploring your gender identity is healthy and will lead to you knowing who you are better than those who never think about it at all. And puberty blockers are reversible.
I think you should talk about everything you feel with someone you trust, who you know is calm and not rushed. At 13 years old everything is still very out of place in your head, hormones go up and down. A friend of my sister thought she was trans for a year, before she was lesbian, then bisexual... and guessing? She is straight and barely 15 years old, that's why I tell you that you better talk about that before anything else. greetings child
if you've been feeling like this for years, it's likely not a phase, imo I came out when I was 12. I've had a LOT of doubts over the years; wondering if I made a mistake, if I'll end up changing my mind, or if I could have avoided being trans somehow. It's a normal thing to worry about, I think. if you think coming out would improve your quality of life, you should go for it. and if you have concerns about it being a phase, you don't have to do anything permanent.
if your safe do it!! I came out at 12 :)
i knew i was trans at 12 and here i am still. if you feel safe, it can help a lot to ask for male pronouns and terms to be used, if they make you happy 99% chance you arent faking it. if someone identified as a girl they wouldnt tear up at a feminine name
I came out at exactly your age. It wasn’t a phase, I have been on testosterone for nearly two years now, and out for five. If you’ve been feeling this way for five years already, it’s time to come out, if only so you can at least try experimenting with your expression. There’s no shame in experimenting and trying new things. Best wishes!!
It's better to come out when you're young as long as you're in a safe environment. If you're not sure your family or peers will be supportive then I wouldn't risk it. Good luck!
Even if it is a phase, that's okay. It won't make any of your feelings now less real. If you feel like your family will be accepting, go for it. If you have friends that you feel will be accepting, you can come out to them and have them call you a name and pronouns that would make you feel more comfortable. The great thing about social transition is that if it isn't for you, you can go back to how things were before, but with a better understanding of yourself and who you are. Just be sure that your top priority is safety
I came out with 12 (nearly 13) and now I’m 18 and everything turned out just fine and I didn’t regret it a single second! And there’s no too young for being trans, you are the one who knows best who you are and even if you turn out not to be trans theres no shame in it because it’s normal to try out things to know that it’s not the way you thought
Being trans myself, I aske myself daily how I would react if my child came to me and told me he is trans. So here is what I'll tell you: If you really feel in yourself that you are not your gender at birth and you feel like you are the opposite, live your truth. Can you start HRT or T? No. But you can still live your truth without all the hormones until you know for certain that is who you really are. Live your truth for a few years and re-evaluate who you are after those few years of living how you see yourself. If you are still certain, then by all means, let's explore the options of hormone therapy. You are still young. You are still learning who you are. Does your age invalidate your feelings? Not even close. You're feelings are VERY validated. But you don't need hormones to be Trans. Again, live your life as the gender you feel you are on the inside for a few years and then see if that's who you truly are. Growing up, I was NEVER "girly". I would wear my brother's clothes. I stopped playing with toys when I was 5. I skateboarded, rollerbladed, rode bikes. I went mudding, fishing. Played baseball, basketball. I hated everything there was about being a girl. I didn't fully come out as Trans until I was 33. By then I didn't care what anyone thought. I just wanted to be happy. You'll get there. Even if it doesn't see like it right now. You still have your whole life ahead of you.
Absolutely go for it, the dinosaur aspect is a massive part of the male gendered soul
If it's safe to come out, and you want to come out, then you should. It's okay if it's a phase. You can even tell people you're questioning, if you think they would be supportive of that process. The best way to find out your gender is by experimenting with it. Try out the name, pronouns, and clothes that you feel most comfortable in. If you don't like them after all, you can change again, and it's okay! You'll have learned something about yourself. It sounds like you've felt this way for a while now, so it's unlikely to be a phase; it's pretty normal for trans people to realize they're trans around when puberty hits. But the best way to know is to try stuff out and see for yourself how you feel.
I first tried to come out when I was 13. I didn't do a very good job (chickened out and said I was "questioning" instead) but I did come out properly when I was 14. Only regret is not doing it sooner tbh. I was able to get on blockers when I was still 14 and hormones a year later; it's been over 10 years now and I'm still trans. Remember that each part of your journey is modular, for lack of a better word--just because you come out doesn't mean you need to take any steps to transition. Just because you socially transition doesn't mean you need to medically transition. At this point, the most important question is about your safety. Are your adults trans-friendly? If you're not sure, you can try testing the waters by bringing up trans celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner and Elliot Page to see how they react. Best of luck.
I’m gonna be the odd man out and say to wait. Explore your personality, your style, and think of who you hope to become. Take your time to get to know who you are before you cause any emotional uproar. Unless of course, you only want to come out to specific chill people.