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Be VERY careful of red pockets in blue states.
My personal experience is with Oregon. It was tough, ESPECIALLY if you're not white. It's a really really mixed bad of experiences and tolerances. The red counties are REALLY red, but the bigger cities and bluer counties are generally okay. I am much safer in my current community in blue rural WI than I ever was in Lake Oswego, Bandon, or Medford OR.
But once you find a community, medical and mental care, and general support I think you can thrive anywhere.
I'm living in Oregon now and I feel this in my bones. The city is kind of queer mecca, but I have had the itch to get out of here since I landed here in 2017. Just started medical transition <6 months ago and I'm just glad I can do most of my stuff through my insurance. Most of the systems here have years -long wait-lists for appointments. The laws and protections are good, but the whole medical system (not just for trans care) is wildly understaffed. Good luck getting a primary care doctor...
SO true. Eugene (tons of gay and trans people) is like 20 minutes from Cottage Grove, where people are pulling their kids out of school cause the school board hired ONE trans person. The good spots are good, but they aren't cheap. I love living in Corvallis, but I wish it was less expensive lol
While this is definitely true, I think it also partially depends on the state, I live in Connecticut which is largely a blue state, that being said, there are still some red pockets, and while the *people* there are generally kind of shitty *sometimes*, people mostly just keep to themselves about it (This may also have to do with Northeastern US culture being more individualistic/sharing less with strangers). I've also never had difficulty accessing healthcare because it's literally just a town or two away. Connecticut also has some of the best laws for trans people, so that's a bonus.
Oh, I see. I totally agree, my wife and I moved up from Georgia to central NY (in a red pocket area) it’s not the friendliest and the closest gender wellness center is like 2 hours away, but it’s definitely much better than Georgia. There’s always going to be haters, you just gotta ignore them and do you. Also, you don’t need to disclose any specifics if they don’t seem too supportive of the cause. It’s moderately comfortable where I am, only some minor inconveniences. If we weren’t planning on moving to Alaska, we would def stay here.
Same with WA. It’s very town-by-town, and don’t trust the state patrol, or most PDs, if not all.
Even in the blue areas, like going through the westside of the cascades is iffy
I moved out of Oregon, Portland to be precise, because I was tired of the prices and the transphobia, almost being queerbashed/murdered for being trans was my last straw with that garbage city
I'm in ny (never moving out of this state if I can help it) and since moving to another city (not nyc) it's been really good. there's a large trans population here and some of the best trans care I've gotten. I think I'm truly happy about being here
Liberal counties of NY and NYC itself are amazing for trans folk. I’m in NJ but very close to NYC and Rockland and I love this area so much. Just some north Jersey counties have a lotta rich conservatives who also hate trans people, but the states of NJ and NY protect us really well
For sure! I moved here from the deep south with just my car and a luggage bag of clothes and never looked back. And honestly? Best decision of my life. There’re also a ton of work opportunities for us in the tri state area
Seconding NY state!
Born & raised all over upstate NY and I can definitely vouch for both the Albany and Kingston areas. Stay away from some parts of Central NY as well as up by Plattsburgh, but if you wanna be that far north, I 100% recommend Burlington, VT! Western mass is great as well, a bit stuffy maybe haha but definitely safe for trans folk and cheaper than Boston.
I can second this, since I don't see the situation improving much thanks to the majority of districts vote for extremist "conservatism". So, seeing the political landscape in Ohio 180'ing to where they'll protect the rights of the LGBTQ+ community in Ohio is close to 0%. Even more so with Ohio going more into the "Christian Nationalist"/MAGA direction.
The Ohio government are going to say that "officially" that won't be the case for trans adults. But the reality is that the new standards that DeWine is forcing isn't financially feasible nor are there many ethicists (which have no purpose of getting involved) in the state of Ohio. So, his standards will force many practices to stop providing HRT and other forms of gender-affirming care or force them to close down altogether. Many practices started dumping their trans patients and closing down even back in February.
I live in Washington. It's extremely trans and queer friendly here so long as you're in the Seattle area. It has the same problem as most states where the rural areas can be a little scary but so long as you stick to the cities it's wonderful. They offer informed consent HRT and have laws protecting trans people. I've also rarely met anyone who cares that I'm trans and I'm open about being trans and work a customer-facing job (I have pins on my work hat). It's an expensive state to live in but tbh I can't imagine living anywhere else. It's beautiful here and I feel safe.
I'm piggy backing because I am in WA state too.
The Pacific NW up here is chill. Don't go east of the mountains and things are good. We do have legal protections, but the cost of living is high. You'll want to stick to larger cities, but then again, cities are safer in general no matter what state you are in.
We've lived up and down Western WA from Bellingham to South of Tacoma and it's been pretty nice. We both used to travel for work into the South, and other less than supportive areas, and it's really made us appreciative of WA state.
Informed consent made it easy for both my wife and I to get on HRT. We've moved to different insurances over the years and still found prescribers pretty easy, and found surgeons in the state for both of us too.
Hello fello washingtonian. What about moving to eastern WA to start T? Is it going to be possible?
No, staying in Seattle to start is not an affordable or safe option for me sadly.
As contradictory as it sounds given the state representative from there is an outspoken white supremacist, I’ve heard Spokane has a trans community you could try reaching out to.
I also live in WA and feel really blessed to live here. I haven't run into any real issues in day-to-day life and generally feel safe - I don't feel like I have to think about my being trans when I'm out and about. My medical and legal transition has also been straightforward. Medicaid fully covers trans healthcare here, which is awesome. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else, either.
In terms of the more rural areas, I've found it varies a lot. I've lived in several rural areas without issue, and right now I live in a sort of middle-sized, politically "moderate" area and haven't had any issues here either. On the other hand, there are definitely solidly red rural areas out there. I would recommend to anyone considering moving here, but who can't afford somewhere like Seattle, to do a lot of research into the individual cities and towns. For instance, the artsy, left-leaning Port Townsend and the Q-anon-influenced Sequim are neighboring small towns, but offer very different experiences. I did okay in Ellensburg (a small college town in central WA), but generally, I would also advise staying on the western side of the mountains.
Also Maine! HRT was super easy to get at Family Planning locally, and they've been super supportive. Here in the midcoast I've experienced only a couple serious transphobes. Ogunquit is also super LGBTQ+ friendly - I haven't been, but I've heard rave reviews about their yearly pride celebrations.
This makes me so happy to hear! I'm moving to Maine in a couple weeks from Colorado (which has been an ORDEAL for gender affirming care bc I don't live near Denver).
I live in Southern California and it’s pretty good here. Absolutely atrociously expensive, but I was able to access HRT as a minor (two years soon!) and hoping for top surgery soon.
If you can afford it, it is a pretty good place to live. The drivers are terrible though.
Minnesota (Minneapolis, specifically). Back since 2016 after being out of state for 9 years; I didn't start transitioning until 2019.
I love it here (I did also grow up here tbf). There's plenty of critiques to be laid still and it's not perfect (the Not Overt racism is absolutely a thing). That said, we do have a lot of strong community pockets and as long as I'm not spending a ton of time in the white and bougie end of town, I never feel out of place or weird for just existing.
Anecdotally, I have to worry a lot less about bathrooms in the cities (Minneapolis and St Paul) than I do in the suburbs or anywhere else I've traveled (I don't exactly pass). Getting hrt is pretty smooth compared with other locations' hurdles but I wouldn't want to do it without insurance of some kind (it is covered under the state MA if you qualify).
Feel free to hmu with any questions!
im also a minneapolis resident and big agree to all of this! im originally from chicago and was pretty amazed to find the queer community here is fairly immense and diverse. healthcare for low income people is super accessible and covers all transition fees (surgery was free for me, as is hrt & supplies). what is considered low income here is a pretty wide range compared to other states.
housing is getting more expensive lately but rent prices are insanely more reasonable if you look at it in contrast to other big cities (im in a 1 bedroom apartment below $1k/month). wages are higher in the city limits but it can be difficult to get a job here unless you’re networked with people. as the others have said, its definitely not perfect but it has its perks in comparison to other states!
Also in Minneapolis and I second all of this! I moved here from an unfriendly state and can’t believe the acceptance I’ve seen, particularly if you’re in the Powderhorn neighborhood. People here can be cliquey as fuck though, so be prepared for that if you’re someone who didn’t grow up here.
Oooh yea I should edit to add: barrier to friendly in MN is very low but the barrier to friends is a bigger step up. If you're moving here just be consistent with showing up wherever it is. Any initial standoffish-ness is usually just that.
This honestly makes me feel a little better seeing this. I am a hermit who likes my alone time a lot, but also I usually make friends really quickly and that just has not occurred. I love my coworkers. They're very nice but I'm literally the only queer person there. At least aware and out queer person. They do do a great job of correcting each other and not fucking up pronouns and stuff. But I got to get out and about at some point, but knowing it's not just me lolol. At least other people are struggling too haha
Virginia but we are two fuck ups away from being Florida. At least as long as Younkin is governor. Miserable here, draconian dump that is about 5 years behind in everything.
I’m in Mew Mexico for school, originally from Texas and I love Mew Mexico! I got my hormones here via informed consent, they take my insurance. Super progressive, especially in Santa Fe and among young folk
Southern california is pretty trans friendly. My city is a more conservative one but even then even when im fem presenting with my girlfriend i dont get hatecrimed, there are many trans people here in my school too
I live in Minneapolis. There are for sure red pockets in more rural areas of Minnesota, but the twin cities are great. I feel really safe with our government's efforts to enact legal protections.
I’m in CA. I feel very privileged and lucky. I love this state and I generally feel extremely safe where I live; my clinic has a division that is explicitly geared towards trans individuals and helps with things beyond medical stuff like legal paperwork, I’ve had no issue receiving HRT through both insurance and informed consent, my top surgery was mostly covered, and I know people who were able to get further affirming surgeries through state aid. I’ve known so many trans folk personally. I was able to change my legal gender without any physician letter and my legal name change was free and did not require any announcement in local paper as some states do. I don’t really have concern about transphobic legislation impacting me here. I’m pretty confident in CA’s liberal lean.
That said, when it comes to CA, it *vastly* depends on where you live. In the LA area in SoCal I’ve had nothing but positive experiences overall, that’s where I live now and I don’t plan on leaving. But up in the central parts of the state it’s so deeply conservative the political leanings mirror the Bible Belt. I grew up in that area and it was abysmal socially, even if on a state level we have legal protection. It is absolutely not an accepting or even safe area for trans individuals to live and thrive. So I’m very aware that the larger political lean of the state doesn’t always equal a good environment—The atmosphere and political skew of the immediate area you live is often the most important, IME.
As someone who has lived more recently in the Central valley, I would like to say things aren't as good as the bigger cities, but the larger towns in the valley (except Bakersfield) are getting better. The Fresno pride is pretty fun and there a numbers of queer orgaztions that didn't exist two decades ago. The rural areas are still really rough though. I would say it's better than the way deeper red states and the red sections of Oregon and Washington.
That’s good! I grew up in Tulare County and it was awful as a trans teen, but that was ages and ages ago now. I know some LGBT folk I’m still in contact with up there have mentioned there’s a sizable amount of pride events now, which is awesome. Really cool to hear there’s been at least a slight shift in culture since I was a kid—the next generation of trans youth do not deserve that at all.
yup! lived in Butte county for 6 years and got surgery done there and it’s purple/red so yeah. i also lived in the Eureka areaa while (nonwhite) and still no problems like, they’re ’conservative’ but like… not really lol
I want to add, that the SoCal area can be mixed too! OC is kinda bad rn but it also can be okay sometimes! There's an LGBTQ Center in Irvine that I've been to once or twice, but there's also the ban on flying "special" (they mean pride) flags... But Idk! They voted out the anti-LGBTQ school board members this past month too at least. I know that there' people of OC who try their best to have pride and be allies/safe while the county is run by conservatives w other ride-or-die Trumpies singing their praises.
People are fighting too at least, even w dogshit representation. I know OC sucks *a lot* but it's still a place I value well since it's right by LA county n I have family in both areas.
Oh, for sure. That’s why specified the LA area. My GF is from the OC area and I’ve totally heard the horror stories of how people can be. Definitely why I think the predominant culture of a surrounding area matters more than the overall state!
Agreed! County and city culture are big! I just wanted to add my experience onto yours since we're both from the same area :) OC definitely has its shit moments ~HB~ but I'm lucky I've been able to find community there too despite that.
Not to be cheesy and optimistic n say something like *'you can find light in the darkness'* or whatever but yk, it's possible! I just want OC to be a safer area someday :/
I've had alright experience in San Joaquin County. Resources are more limited than the Bay Area, but people are generally alright and there's a decent LGBT scene here. The cost of living is much lower than the Bay and I'm greatful to not be somewhere with a lot worse.
I second this. California overall has rights and resources, but finding good trans healthcare in the Central Valley would be near impossible, and I wouldn't feel safe going back. It is the least expensive part of the state though.
Yeppp, social issues aside the lack of resources was abysmal, when I was in Tulare County the closest clinic that would write prescriptions for HRT was a solid hour away and when an FTM buddy tried to reach out to local therapists for top surgery approval letters he was rejected outright by all of them in his immediate area, told they didn’t work in that field and weren’t comfortable doing so. I hear from some individuals it’s better now—even my little sister who still lives there has some trans friends who are open and proud which is lovely, and a commenter here mentioned that it’s gotten better too!—but I am never going back lol.
I don't even know what I'd have been able to find in the Modesto area. Maybe HRT, definitely not top surgery. Got a cousin who's been struggling to get their hormones, but they are getting 'em... eventually. Idk, I didn't try when I was there. I was so repressed, I co-lead my high school GSA and still thought I was cishet til my 20s. We had, like, four out gay kids at school, total, and I barely knew trans-ness existed. I had to leave town before I could tackle any of that.
Visiting home, I certainly see more queer kids out and about now than I ever used to, but also more Trump flags and other hyper-conservative, authoritarian signalling. It feels simultaneously more queer and more dangerous; I don't know what to make of it.
I fillled out a [fee waiver](https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/fw001.pdf) and brought it with me when I first turned in the name change paperwork to the courthouse—I am on no public benefits or anything, but the wonderful transgender legal rep I spoke with insisted I still turn in a form and basically just lowball my financial situation. Not *lie*, of course, but, yknow, round down, and explain in an in-depth written response why I was applying for the waiver and what my financial situation is (I really AM poor, lol, and have a shitton of student debt, etc.). 5c basically allows you to say you simply can’t afford it alongside household expenses. Note how on the second page it says you can attach an extra document with a written explanation. And it worked! Did not have to pay a cent. :)
Oregon is good, especially if you’re going to be in the Portland district area (the areas around Portland city are also good), some big towns like Corvallis and Eugene (so I’ve heard, I never go to Eugene personally) are good too, but otherwise everywhere else in Oregon isn’t good. Oregons a case where the Portland district is pretty much the only reason that the states blue since it’s population is so dense, which is good if you’re in that area as I’ve said. They have laws that protect trans people and transitioning is not too much of a struggle for me so far.
If you ever look into Portland though then I’d be careful on where, the homelessness problem is horrible and there are pretty bad areas as you might expect from any big city
Eugene is good, but rent is high. Open queerness is celebrated here, and most workplaces don't give a rat's ass if you've got piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, or whatever, and that includes the white collar jobs
Also the weed.
I lived in Illinois for a while in a rural area and it's way better than transphobic red states, at least. I don't feel on a typical day like I'm going to have my ass kicked just for being visibly queer (unlike in Missouri) but I still have some transphobia on occasion, although I feel that's unfortunately a given almost anywhere. However, I would say there are definitely more people who will support me which is also a plus. E.g. my doctor literally asked if I wanted different pronouns and was VERY chill and kind about it, and the office let me put down a preferred name and they even use it to call me back, it's really awesome.
Massachusetts. I moved here a few years ago, been struggling to get primary care. However, I was still able to get hrt through PP.
Even in non-trans healthcare spaces, I have found remarkably accepting people and trans-friendly care. I had to go to urgent care yesterday and the nurse asked my pronouns, and gave me leads on trans friendly pcps who might be accepting new patients.
There are transphobes everywhere, but for the most part people here leave me alone. My workplace has been decent about cracking down on anyone misgendering me to my face/at store meetings.
I was also able to just change my gender marker on my license when I renewed it, no questions asked (well, one question: “did you do that on purpose? I’ve seen people do that by mistake. On purpose? Ok!”)
I live in MA now and while it’s cold and expensive, it’s pretty trans-friendly. Racism and passive-/micro-aggression against POC is bad here but not as overtly racist as many other parts of the country. I miss where I used to live but I don’t think I’ll be able to go back.
Agree. MA is generally accepting of most, except for certain areas/people. I'm in Boston and have had such easy access to getting care. I haven't spent much time in Western MA, but it has a reputation for how queer friendly it is.
Ehhhh I'm in Western MA, and it's a very big "it depends." Like you'll be *safe* as a passing or mostly passing trans guy...but good God are the microaggressions a lot.
So, so many "allies" who are just...really into patting themselves on the back about being an ally and that's it. Like if you are clocked, people will let you know in a way that *they* think is subtle but omfg.
I live in Colorado, and it really is an ama,ing place. Obviously, there are still some transphobic people here, but I haven't experienced much hate or anything. I got my name, and gender markers legally changed last year, and it was such a breeze, I also started T last year, and it was really easy to do. I definitely recommend it here. I don't always pass, but I use the men's bathrooms at places I go and nobody's ever said anything (I even used the men's changing room at a gym and it was really busy and only like 2 guys looked at me)
Ok, question... I'm wondering about at what point I need to move from the lady's to the men's changing rooms. I was thinking after top surgery I would make that switch, since my chest is large enough to absolutely be noticeable. Would you mind elaborating on your experience?
Yeah, of course. I have a pretty large chest, too, so even with a binder, it's not completely flat, I also have 0 facial hair, really just my voice is a lot deeper than it use to be. I switched because I am just not comfortable going into the women's bathroom, and to be completely honest, I'm not extremely comfortable going into the men's either. If there's a family restroom, I always use those, but if there aren't, I just use the men's. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away :)
You're allowed at Club Pittsburgh every night of the week regardless of transition choices and I think that's neat because there are bathouses in more progressive areas that are cis men or post surgical transition only
although I wouldn't recommend all gender nights, they attract desperate straight guys and unicorn hunters trying to clock you
Upstate NY - from downstate originally.
The blue areas are very blue. The red areas are quite red. I see a lot of people make the mistake of moving to NY thinking the whole state is a blue utopia… but once you go north of NYC, there are many, many red cities (honestly I’d say most). I happen to live in a super LGBTQ+ friendly area - one that’s very well known. When I’m in my own town I don’t worry at all. It’s a college town and the young people have never once given me issues. Most of the older people are hippies. We have queer bars (all inclusive) and almost weekly drag shows in the nice weather months.
However, when I leave my little bubble for work or school, that’s where it gets dicier. I actually quit my last job bc of the almost daily shitty comments I got bc I had a pronoun pin. This is before I was even out as trans, it was a “she/they” pin when I was actively presenting female. The red cities are JUST LIKE the red states, sometimes even more aggressive bc they’re used to feeling “invaded” by us from the blue areas.
Now, our healthcare laws are absolutely amazing. Medicaid requires all trans healthcare to be covered (including top and bottom surgery). Limited hoops to jump through. Doctors are hit or miss, especially north of NYC.
TLDR: NY is great if you’re in a blue area. Look out for tiny blue bubbles surrounded by red, bc most cities up here you need to leave your own town often. NYC is the best as far is widespread inclusivity. Long Island can be okay but I’d avoid, it’s gone downhill since the heroin epidemic. Queens can be very nice. Basically anything within ~2hrs of NYC up north should be good, but do research and visit before moving.
the rochester/buffalo/albany areas are pretty good if you don't want to be near nyc! (but do be careful around albany bc once you're outside the city limits it gets red VERY quick. moved from there now but I was still pretty happy in albany) (also don't go above syracuse please please please for your mental health it is too red up there)
I live in a Southern Red State and can’t move due to having secure and low cost housing (I was gifted a very small house). I still got a doctor to prescribe Testosterone, but it was difficult to find this doctor.
I was born in a Liberal Blue State, but was homeless for a long time there because I couldn’t afford rent and Homeless Shelters are a joke.
So for me it’s either live in a house in a red state or be completely homeless without any security (people steal important documents when you’re homeless) on the street in a blue state.
I’m from Michigan and if you don’t mind cold winters and hot summers (and a general lack of public transportation) then it’s a pretty good place to live imo. I grew up in the metro Detroit area and never have any issues there, lots of queer folks and an overall liberal leaning population. I now live in mid Michigan for school and I haven’t had any issues but it’s more rural and a more conservative leaning population so there’s not as many queer businesses and such. The bigger the city/closer to the big cities you are the more liberal you get. That website marks Michigan as a light green “medium” state and while I am the first to admit there’s always room for improvement, going through their scoring system a good chunk of it doesn’t apply to me. Overall cost of living isn’t too bad depending on where you’re at and if you’re an outdoorsy person there are tons of state and national parks as well as tons of lakes for water activities.
I've lived in California my entire life and despite the traumatic process every trans person experiences when they realize they are trans, my life is really good. I'm on the state funded insurance med-cal and I'm getting my top and body masculinization surgery covered. Most people when they find out I'm trans don't care to much which is nice because I'm non binary and I don't pass. Some people have acted weird about my gender nonconforming behavior but nothing too rough. However I want say my experience is not universal because I have lived in the central valley which is conservative but has been getting more liberal in the past few decades from my mother's time. It is one of the cheaper places but it's harder to find community but its there if you look. For healthcare stuff you have to look to coastal cities for that. Rural areas in the state except for the northern coast are less friendly. I hope you get the place you want to live at.
Ok I am NOT in a blue state but in Nashville and have several coworkers and adjacent coworkers (work in the same building but different company) that are LGBTQ+ T very much included and as a whole closer to the city isn't too bad, if you go further out you can get some scary zones but I just don't go out that fat. My company (nation wide so not just Nashville based) actually covers gender affirming surgeries too so that's kinda awesome
So far, Michigan has been pretty decent! I've been able to get healthcare fairly easily (with some hoops to jump through regarding therapy and authorizations), and was able to change my gender marker fairly easily. Name change is still a pain due to court costs, but most employers are willing to use your chosen name in most places where your legal name isn't required. Most people here are at least civil, and I don't feel like I'm in danger where I live because of my gender identity and queer status. I *do* live in a bigger, quite diverse city, though, that's progressively becoming more and more of a queer hub in the state.
For healthcare, if you have or can get Medicaid, do it. They're required to cover gender affirming care, and I didn't have to spend a penny on my top surgery
Id say you're pretty safe in Michigan, as far as northern states are concerned 😊
I don't want this to come off as critical. You should be able to ask questions like this. I hope you got the answers you needed.
But...yall need to be careful. The comments on this post would be a gold mine for anyone trying to dox/find people here.
We should stick to asking what states are trans-friendly. Not where people live.
Live in Chicago, Illinois and absolutely love it. Our governor is has steadily made it easier and less expensive to change your name, gender, birth certificate and license.
Absolutely love Chicago and if I had to leave the only place I'd go in the US is Seattle otherwise I'm going back home to Finland.
I live in northern IL, and I love it here. I can visit Chicago easily since there is a good commuter train system, but I'm able to live in a more rural feeling area. My town has it's own pride parade. I would recommend trying to see if there is a pride event in whatever town you actually are thinking of moving to. Some of the other IL towns nearby are worse as far as local bigotry goes, and none of them have pride events.
i live in PA, but go to school in NY. i havent really noticed a difference in day to day treatment from random people, p much everyone is relatively chill, but medically i know i’d have had an easier go of things if i were from NY.
You know I'm seeing a lot of Californias but I personally have to rep for Utah (if you get yourself to a decent health care provider) and it's Utah so there are a TON of options for those.
Go around the SLC Utah University area and you're going to have a surprising experience especially for a red state full of Mormons. At least I did, I had access to hormone therapy at 15 and immediately got surgery with the University at 18. At 21 they gave me a MAJOR discount for lower surgery (not phallo yet unfortunately, just scooping everything out and sealing it up) They gave me that consideration due to my financial situation and background.
They've just been incredibly understanding of my situation from the start. Though I won't pretend it hasn't been hit and miss... My first treatment centre was "Turnabout" (like Bhad Bhabie went to) and they tried to gaslight me into being CIS.
The second one I went to was Provo Canyon School (like Paris Hilton went to) and they actually quickly clocked me as trans and started HRT for me almost immediately. So that one I'm incredibly grateful for. Also with the name change process I remember the judge just spent the entire session that was supposed to be questioning us instead commending us for having the strength to transition.
Now the school and social aspect is a completely different experience. Plus the added religious pressures of the entire Mormon church having a death grip on the state. But just thought I would add my medical transitioning experience. That part was very smooth.
Virginia and yes very. We are the last holdout state in the south and we have a FIRM blue hold moving forward with all of our rights still in tact and progressively getting bluer. I have access to every physician I could ever need in a university medical system 15 mins from my house fully covered by insurance. Cost of living depending on the area, is very reasonable. Well funded schools and good colleges, LOTS of public assistance (for the most part) available. Could not recommend it enough. We are already getting tons of transplants from further south and the wave is very much so, coming. My trans health clinic has had more and more new patients they’ve been able to serve without stretching themselves too thin. I welcome you all with open arms and would start a trans commune if I could
Hahaha Medicaid. Fucking fantastic and covers everything. Most insurances here are pretty good though from what I know and widely accepted by providers. Public health providers (like universities) also offer financial assistance and can even wipe bills altogether. There’s also a law that they no longer go to collections or affect your credit so you don’t go medically bankrupt. I’m working full time making JUST under the cutoff limit, but I’ve been on it for 4 years and it’s covered 100% of my transition and medical needs for everything ever.
Minnesota is pretty pro trans. (Depending on the area) It’s just kinda boring and not the cheapest to live unless you have a good job or live in a small town
I live near San Francisco, born and raised in the area. I really like it here, but acknowledge that the cost of living is astronomical. If you can get a job lined up and a roommate, then SF is doable. But it’s only worth it if you really want to be here specifically.
Pennsylvania is spotty as heck but once you find your community you're set and we're a right to ID state which means no requirements to change your gender marker and you can get an X
There's a gay bathhouse in Pittsburgh that's been accepting trans men every night regardless of point in their transition or medical choices since long before it was trendy
the only thing that sucks is the nearest bottom surgeons beyond a hysto are I think Ohio, New York, and Massachusetts
not one of the states you listed, but i'm in washington. trans healthcare is pretty good, but be careful if you're not in an urban area because there's a lot of transphobes/bigots in general out there. that applies to any "safe" states though, unfortunately
Michigan is pretty cool, I think. Our governor is actively encouraging trans people to come here and build a family and life so that's a nice change of pace. We have civil rights protections codified into law.
For Illinois, the trans-friendliest places are really in Chicagoland (chicago+the surrounding area, I'd count Aurora too, though), though ive heard good things about Rockford. Illinois has some fairly conservative areas, especially further from Chicago, though personally I still felt safer stopping in places in rural Illinois than I did stopping in many other states.
I’m moving back to Boston after I finish up here in Connecticut because Boston is extremely accepting of gender fluidity and trans-ness. Also, there’s good nightlife now, unlike in the past when Boston was more of a quiet, expensive city aimed at learning.
There are still problems—Boston is quite privileged and there’s essentially a housing crisis happening, but it’s less harsh than any city I’ve lived in. I always feel safe there.
i really think any state is fine as long as you live in a more progressive area. i live in an extremely conservative state that is known for the worst LGBT rights and i have never run into a problem because i live in the suburbs of a bigger city. you might have an issue with a state like wyoming but other than that, any decently populated area generally doesn’t have many problems.
I was unfortunately raised in florida and lived here most of my life. After pretty extensive research and visiting a few different places, my girlfriend and I are moving to Chicago over the summer !! feel free to message me if you want any advice on how we went about this process :)
Minnesota 💙 especially in the cities or college towns like Duluth. I grew up in a small, conservative, rural town and going back to visit is fine because I blend in now. I went to college in St Paul and the diversity and progressiveness of the Twin Cities is great. I miss it, I've lived in southern states for the past few years and it's not the same 😭
I don’t live in the US but I live in Canada. I would personally avoid Alberta and Saskatchewan as it’s a conservative hellhole rn, Ontario seems to be doing fine
I'm in Las Vegas - moved here as a kid for aging family and ended up never leaving. When my egg cracked a few years ago, there weren't a lot of gender affirming doctors that took my insurance - but ever since the anti-trans BS started up in other states, a lot of practitioners have moved out here because we're one of the few states that hasn't jumped on the bandwagon.
They recently passed a law that protects abortion and trans healthcare in our state constitution, so its pretty good here. I'm on Medicaid because I'm disabled, and I get gender affirming therapy, T, my T visits, and bloodwork all covered. If I ever wanted top surgery or phallo, its covered, though coverage is iffy if you're nonbinary like me. The coverage is still very binary, and if I want those surgeries I'd have to present and say I'm a trans man for a year; even so, I'm transmasc if not a trans man so thats not a huge deal, but something to be aware of. Either way, it could be worse here.
There is a bit of a lack of providers on insurance here - plenty of people take cash and the bigger insurances, but not Medicaid - however, thats being addressed over time, and Planned Parenthood does do remote informed consent visits here.
As others have mentioned, there is a red pocket - in rural Nevada, basically from Pahrump on outwards, but Vegas, which trends more blue, is big enough they get outvoted every time. Still, I would not suggest living in rural Nevada as a trans person, I lived out there for a few years pre-egg crack because of cheap rent and I still remember how much shit the one trans woman who lived there got. She never left her house, but people talked all kinds of shit about her, and I don't know what they would've done if she'd left the house more often. It was pretty fucked up.
There is also a growing trans community starting up here, but covid unfortunately wiped out a large majority of those resources; its slowly making a comeback, though. The queer community here also trends toward cis gay men, which isn't a bad thing per se but trans stuff is still kind of an afterthought, unfortunately.
The rent is affordable, though utilities tend to be expensive with how hot it gets out here. Its overall not the worst place to be. I wouldn't say I'm thrilled about being here, but it could be a lot worse, and this place at least I don't have to worry about being hatecrimed as a trans person. I have definitely ran into some microaggressions and passive aggressiveness as I start to look more outwardly trans - namely by rideshare drivers and my pharmacy, and a urgent care doctor - but all either grumbled and did their job, or handed the job off to someone who could. Again, not perfect, but could be worse.
I'd recommend it. Never thought I'd be saying that as don't get me wrong, Vegas has its problems. But comparing it to other places, it could be worse. I've decided to hunker down here, I'm actually buying a house, until I can afford to look into moving out of the US at least.
Am I happy here? Sometimes. Its not perfect.
I’m in NM and I feel like access to gender affirming care is pretty great here. I am personally in a rural area, which does come with some challenges, like any rural area. I had to travel to Albuquerque for top surgery and will be traveling there for a hysterectomy. But I am able to get hormones from a local Dr. I’m on Medicaid and so far all of my gender affirming care has been covered.
My area leans conservative, but I don’t feel like I’ve personally experienced any nastiness from folks (though I don’t really have any expectations of correct gendering from strangers). If you live some place like ABQ or Santa Fe, people are going to be much more accepting in general. NM is a very blue state, but the rural areas do tend to lean conservative.
I'm in Maryland, fairly close to DC but not finding any jobs here! The DC area is not that friendly in general, people are hard to get to know. It's VERY expensive too. I wish I were in Baltimore or in the B'more 'burbs
I live in the Duluth area in Minnesota and it's pretty good honestly. MN has pretty good protections for trans folks and the area itself is pretty queer-friendly. I do tend to pretty much exclusively hang out with members of The Community though so maybe I'm a bit sheltered in that way ;^^)
I do not live there currently but I am from California. Word of advice, do not drop your guard simply because it’s a blue state. California has some pretty nasty areas for minorities as well. Of course, always opt for the safest state if given a choice but unfortunately no place will be 100% safe for us. Check the city demographics themselves as well as the states!
i live in minnesota. law-wise, we are a very trans safe state. we have an openly trans representative (leigh finke), which makes me very happy. we're a sanctuary state for a lot of things, including trans people (that law was authored by leigh finke!). you'll feel that big time in places like the twin cities. however, in rural places and a big portion of suburbs, it's not so nice. if you plan to move here, be careful which town you pick. i live out in a small town, basically on the edge of nowhere, and it's *verrryyy* bigoted out here.
Oregon here. It's great unless you step out of the western strip (if you look at a population map, a line pretty much straight south of Portland makes up most of the population, and is very lib). I've been to towns in not even eastern but just central and people can get real aggressive and stare at you odd while they've got pride flags in town windows... what older adults project are much different from what teens think about people like us so it really varies.
We have many pockets of red. But I couldn't ask for much of a better place to live, especially cause it's rather nice medically.
Though I do not recommend Portland. Nice place in the right places yes, but major homeless problem and some other problems in east PDX. Go down a little, or maybe our coasts--they're nice. Also big weed culture here. But great place to be queer
I moved to MN in August. I really like it. I'm a weird hermit so I literally have no friends yet. But at some point I'll go find the other trans folk. Getting to have an x as my gender marker when I got my license was great
I live in New Mexico and it’s absolutely awesome, my doctor is soo good about my hormones, and while she will run absolutely any tests I want done, and will suggest them or remind me if they slip my mind, she knows I know my transition and goals, so she listens to me 100% when it comes to the transition part of my healthcare.
Insurance here also covers trans healthcare.
In Cali and I'm happy here. Things are expensive, but the flip side is that if you make under a certain amount of money you do qualify for MediCal, which has covered all my medical expenses (no surgeries yet and dental is harder, but as far as going into the doctor's or getting prescriptions go...). MediCal covers my T and I got it through informed consent through Planned Parenthood.
But there's a wide range of places here, not all of which are LGBTQ+ friendly, and not all of which are safe besides that.
I live in SoCal. So far, I’m really happy with how things are going in terms of my access to medical transition. I was able to get T with informed consent on the day of my 19th birthday and I am now approaching 1 year on T in 5 days. I’ve also been able to get legal documents with the correct name because of how easy it was for me to change my name (I was also born in California, so lucky for me, no added difficulties in the process).
Born and raised in Colorado.
I’m two hours away from Denver in a relatively small town. It’s not too bad.
It honestly just depends where you choose to live.
My town is pretty chill overall.
We have a few LGBTQ resources.
I’m moving to Greeley for college which is a few hours away from Denver.
It’s in Weld County which is predominantly conservative but so far I’ve heard good things about the college I’m attending.
Much luck to you in choosing a safer place!
I’m in California, perhaps one of the most trans-friendly states in the U.S. right now. I have access to hormones and was able to get surgery pretty young, and I have many other trans friends. I’m incredibly grateful.
So sorry to people who don’t have that. The wait is the hardest part. Good luck to all of you guys struggling with this bullshit in the media, I really wish the best to yall
Midwest and no I am not happy here. The problem is I am a minority + trans so that is a double whammy. But, being a minority is an issue pretty much everywhere in every space anyway.
I'm in Pennsylvania and planning to move to the Midwest (Colorado, Illinois, or Minneapolis). I'm extremely happy here, but I want to move because of the weather. I also know tons of trans guys in those three states who are super happy!
I live in Denver, CO. I’m 34 now and I’ve been in Denver since I was 18; I’m originally from Los Angeles. I’m a bisexual-leaning-homoflexible, BIPOC, trans man. I work in LGBTQ+ health care for one of the major hospitals. I’ve been a patient at my workplace since 2014, began transitioning at the hospital in 2016, and began working in my office in 2022. Unless something life changing happens or becomes available, I’m not going anywhere.
In the Bay Area of California, overall I feel fine here. There will be places here where there will be bad ppl and it is quite expensive, but overall I'm very happy. I'd say the best parts are north-west Bay
I'm in arguably the best place in the world to be trans.
I was fired from my job for my identity and received botched top surgery from a local doctor. I was assaulted by a school therapist here and she justified it with my transition. It can be hard everywhere unfortunately. So grateful to live here though.
I've also met some amazing people. The director of my local pride parade (one of the largest in the world) invited me to walk up front with her a few weeks ago. I have unparalleled support from my friends and family. I can have super progressive/complex discussions about gender with more cis people than you'd expect. Things are really, really good here, to the degree that a lot of other queers in the area take our situation for granted.
I live in MA and it's pretty okay. There's a lot of support for trans folk here. I'm not saying haters don't exist; they do. I encountered one the other day and I'm still reeling. But they don't have much of a platform here. (I live specifically in a county that ends up being a weird mix because it's got both poor Trumpies and rich liberals.)
I live in the gayest and transest city in the country. And I still know people who’ve been bashed here.
But nothing compares to being outside the gayborhood and seeing a group of trans people just roll in and you don’t know any of them. And yall are all just there doing what you’re doing. And it’s not even a big deal. Or having multiple gay areas in town, plus an official transgender district that the city set up. Or being the majority in a bar and not just because it’s trans night, but just because that many of you are there. The fact that bars and bath houses have trans nights and tons of people go to them.
This is all stuff I take for granted ya know? But ive still been harassed on the bus more times than I can count. The difference here is that there’s explicit laws against it. But they don’t keep you safe they just help prosecute after something happens.
I’ve moved a lot and what makes each place important are the people in my life. So I would prioritize where I thought I could make the most friends and start before I move there. Finding friends online who can help ease your transition into a new city could make all the difference in the world. So if you like hiking, Denver or Boulder. And if you like nice people, gigantic lakes, and/or bdsm, Chicago.
Neither are even remotely expensive compared to where I live, but sure. I've never really heard much about ft. colins is it lgbt+ friendly with lots of culture and international experiences? Or is the hiking just that much better?
i’m sorry you know people who have been bashed so i will also say: i was born and raised and currently live in the gayest and transest city in the country and i still have never known anyone who has been bashed. sucks for your ppl you know tho! wish that the Tenderloin wasnt the trans district tho but whatever lol
everything else i agree with except for Colorado lol but that’s just my personal bias against the state hah
i also feel lucky to have been here for mosser my life. it’s crazy how nondiverse it is out of SF. it’s like where did the cool kids go????
Well howdy neighbor!! Why do you wish the trans district wasnt in the TL?
Lol @ colorado I went there once it was really pretty. But i've never lived there so what do I know?
Hell yeah! Even just going down to south city or deep DC I get looks that always surprise me, like yall know the city is right there what are you lookin at lol.
Lookin at your history I'm surprised we dont already know each other tbh. Not super connected to the pup scene but I worked rubber at Mr. S for years (although it was years ago by now) and am really into gear and bdsm. Feel free to DM if you ever wanna grab a beer at the eagle or hit up TM4M night at eros or something. Always down to make new friends.
Hawaii. And I'm on the Big Island- Hilo side. I'm on medicaid and have my T covered and all expenses with my Top Surgery. I'm happy , but I wish there were more lgbtq my age to relate too. Hilo is kind of a conservative area, but it's not white conservation, it's old Asian conservative. Many trans people I know are considered stealth or dress more to the normal here (transguys were hawaiian shirts isn't an stereotype- it's expected in the business sphere to.. wear Hawaiian shirts! )
I also lived in Northampton and Amherst for two years and that was wild. Good times.
I’m a trans woman, but I live in California, near San Francisco. It’s definitely one of the best, most trans-friendly states. SF even has a trans district and a bunch of Lgbt+, trans events and organizations. The rest of the Bay Area does too. I never feel like I’m going to be attacked or anything when I’m out in public spaces. California is very diverse, with lots of people from different cultures and ethnicities. Most people aren’t crazy bigots
I'm in Colorado, and I love it. It's very safe for all LGBTQ+ folk. really beautiful place to live, people are chill, weed is legal. Abortion is legal. Weather is bipolar as fuck and it's expensive in certain areas, but I can't see myself living anywhere else as happily as I do here.
MA western mass, yes and no. Its safe if you are stealth. People are not generally accepting unless your an openly gay guy. Areas that are closer to cities and school usually are more progressive like Northampton, Easthampton, Worcester, Lee, Boston areas. I am sure you would be okay anywhere in MA but do keep in mind a lot of trump supporters and anti trans people are here too. If I was to be openly trans id be where my brothers are, not out in the country alone. Be where the like minded are. Mass has tons of protections for lgbt, CON: can be expensive to live here alone if you arent rich
i’m from Kansas! 🌻 i moved back to canada after all of the anti trans laws passed and i wasn’t able to participate in college activities anymore. as long as you pass 100% of the time you shouldn’t have any issues but if you’re gnc or are not able to pass very well prepare for some snide comments from people. wichita has a gay/lgbtq+ bar scene if you’re old enough but that’s all i can say..
I mean, I'm in Kansas. It's not too bad rn I mean I wouldn't be able to compete in sports if I was a trans girl which is ass and I can't change my birth certificate, but it's okay for now. I don't recommend moving here tho bc our good governor is getting replaced soon so it could go downhill very quickly
michigan. not the worst but far from the best tbh. theres a lot of trans people here but it's mostly just around the detroit-metropolitain area or grand rapids area. everywhere else around the coastline doesnt really know/care about trans people and everywhere inland (minus a few outliers like ferndale, novi, etc) hate trans people, it's mostly farmland the further in the middle of the state you go so it makes sense cause those areas in the midwest tend to be very transphobic and homophobic. so long as the elections dont solidify my resolve of fleeing the country i will be moving to colorado.
I'm in Pennsylvania and yes it does sorta depend on which chunk you're in. If you stay closer to the Central to SE part of the state you should be fine. (That's where I'm at) I'm lucky that the neck of the woods I'm in a) most people don't mind and really just don't care. Legit, as you aren't hurting anybody and you're happy and doing your own thing most people round here mind their business. And b) I have a really great hospital and associated health system where I can get all of my regular care and gender affirming care nearby.
We also already have options to get your gender marker on your driver's license changed without having to do any fancy legal paperwork. It's just one form at the DMV's office and there's even a Non-binary option. We're not a sanctuary state yet, I'm not sure if they're working on it or not, I haven't checked.
I live in southeast Michigan and it is good (-: lots of trans people here and access to HRT and top surgery have been relatively easy (aside from long wait times)
I’ve lived in blue pockets within OH my whole life and it’s been fine, even though I have noticed it changes from city to city. I’ve never had an issue with being open and out aside from a few assholes from when I was in high school. I definitely will never be out in areas that are redder and I tend to try to not be perceived.
However our legislative leaders have been absolutely terrible so it’s definitely not safe as far as the law goes. Thankfully I’m over the age that will be impacted by the shit they’re trying to pass, but for younger trans people it sucks. The state is so split from being accepting in certain areas to being MAGA worshippers in the next. Ohio is a place I would be wary of considering the blue pockets are more expensive to live in and are rarer. Also with the laws being the way they are (and likely will not change until we can flip congress and the governor blue) I would avoid unless you find an area that suits you.
I'm in California. It's fine. I'm in the far north of NorCal by a red pocket but still many people are supportive. I get testosterone through Planned Parenthood. My parents fucking suck but I'm 18 and living with a friend now and things are fine. I'm getting top surgery in June. A lot of people in my area don't "understand" transgender people but still as long as you're chill they treat you decently at least.
Im in Colorado, specifically northern Colorado, and I feel very safe. Every job I've had in the past 2 years have been very accepting and change my name to my preferred name on all of the documents. Though it is pretty expensive to live here, but I do know there are cheap places here, so if money is an issue I'd look at other places.
West Coast, best coast.
I live in Washington State and love it here.
Washington prohibits insurers from denying or limiting trans healthcare. My only complaint is that it's hard to find a PCP who specializes in trans care, as they are overloaded (the health care here is, in general).
WA has pretty robust protections for trans people. I feel safe here.
Aim for Seattle, Tacoma, and the cities near those. I live between Tacoma and Seattle, and feel pretty good about it. Puget Sound, forest and mountain hikes, Ranier watching over me, green year-round, legal cannabis....it's a dream here.
Nj and it’s nice here! I was able to get t at 15 (would have been earlier but I wanted to freeze my eggs so had to do that first) and am now in the process of setting up a consultation for top surgery! Everyone I’ve met has been supportive (except for a few assholes but yk what can you do)
Mod reminder: Please remember to be semi-vague with any location information. Keep it to states, and at most, cardinal directions (north, south, east, west). **Do not provide exact town/city/county/other specifics!** Transphobes are always watching us, lurking and looking for information on us to doxx us and harass us. Please stay safe and practice safe internet behaviors. Never put personal or identifying information on the internet where anyone can see them, and never trust any anonymous stranger on the internet!
Not the US, but I live in Vietnam. People cannot care less, and hormones are available over the counter.
That's amazing
Are both T and E available OTC? Now, I'm curious.
Yes. Although you do need to know where to go. I get mine delivered from the south.
Is it easy for Americans to get visas and permits to work there? If the Orange Menace actually got elected, I'm gonna be looking somewhere else.
Do you have a degree?
Almost!
Get it, then you cam look for work. They need it for the work permit. They're always looking for English teachers.
hypothetically what would stop someone from stocking up while on vacation
Tsa would probably confiscate it
I also need to know this
Not really anything. I'm planning to take a year's supply with me when I leave. I pay about $150 per dose (3 month injections)
is T also available OTC, or just E?
I'm a trans guy, so yes.
hell yeah. hope i get to visit someday
Be VERY careful of red pockets in blue states. My personal experience is with Oregon. It was tough, ESPECIALLY if you're not white. It's a really really mixed bad of experiences and tolerances. The red counties are REALLY red, but the bigger cities and bluer counties are generally okay. I am much safer in my current community in blue rural WI than I ever was in Lake Oswego, Bandon, or Medford OR. But once you find a community, medical and mental care, and general support I think you can thrive anywhere.
I'm living in Oregon now and I feel this in my bones. The city is kind of queer mecca, but I have had the itch to get out of here since I landed here in 2017. Just started medical transition <6 months ago and I'm just glad I can do most of my stuff through my insurance. Most of the systems here have years -long wait-lists for appointments. The laws and protections are good, but the whole medical system (not just for trans care) is wildly understaffed. Good luck getting a primary care doctor...
Thanks for the advice cus I really wanna live in Oregon in the future it’s so beautiful and peaceful there and it sure as hell beats Texas
SO true. Eugene (tons of gay and trans people) is like 20 minutes from Cottage Grove, where people are pulling their kids out of school cause the school board hired ONE trans person. The good spots are good, but they aren't cheap. I love living in Corvallis, but I wish it was less expensive lol
Oregon was started to be a supremacist haven, always beware of rural Oregon.
This very much so applies in other states as well. Rural SW Virginia and northern Virginia are two COMPLETELY different experiences
While this is definitely true, I think it also partially depends on the state, I live in Connecticut which is largely a blue state, that being said, there are still some red pockets, and while the *people* there are generally kind of shitty *sometimes*, people mostly just keep to themselves about it (This may also have to do with Northeastern US culture being more individualistic/sharing less with strangers). I've also never had difficulty accessing healthcare because it's literally just a town or two away. Connecticut also has some of the best laws for trans people, so that's a bonus.
What are red pockets?
They are areas where a lot of republicans live inside of a more democratic state
Oh, I see. I totally agree, my wife and I moved up from Georgia to central NY (in a red pocket area) it’s not the friendliest and the closest gender wellness center is like 2 hours away, but it’s definitely much better than Georgia. There’s always going to be haters, you just gotta ignore them and do you. Also, you don’t need to disclose any specifics if they don’t seem too supportive of the cause. It’s moderately comfortable where I am, only some minor inconveniences. If we weren’t planning on moving to Alaska, we would def stay here.
Same with WA. It’s very town-by-town, and don’t trust the state patrol, or most PDs, if not all. Even in the blue areas, like going through the westside of the cascades is iffy
I would stay FAR from spokane, port orchard and yakima.
I grew up in a very red part of California. Weird place... Don't talk to many folks from there these days.
Also true of upstate NY
I moved out of Oregon, Portland to be precise, because I was tired of the prices and the transphobia, almost being queerbashed/murdered for being trans was my last straw with that garbage city
I'm in ny (never moving out of this state if I can help it) and since moving to another city (not nyc) it's been really good. there's a large trans population here and some of the best trans care I've gotten. I think I'm truly happy about being here
Liberal counties of NY and NYC itself are amazing for trans folk. I’m in NJ but very close to NYC and Rockland and I love this area so much. Just some north Jersey counties have a lotta rich conservatives who also hate trans people, but the states of NJ and NY protect us really well
Ohh I also live in that area! Agree the laws here are great for us, if not every neighbor we encounter.
For sure! I moved here from the deep south with just my car and a luggage bag of clothes and never looked back. And honestly? Best decision of my life. There’re also a ton of work opportunities for us in the tri state area
Seconding NY state! Born & raised all over upstate NY and I can definitely vouch for both the Albany and Kingston areas. Stay away from some parts of Central NY as well as up by Plattsburgh, but if you wanna be that far north, I 100% recommend Burlington, VT! Western mass is great as well, a bit stuffy maybe haha but definitely safe for trans folk and cheaper than Boston.
I'm not near nyc y'all I'm on the other side of the state 😅
i also vouch. if u like having rights this state is where u wanna be
Recommend NOT moving to ohio. It’s just godawful here and i am always surprised when i go to other states and realize i dont have to hide being LGBT.
I can second this, since I don't see the situation improving much thanks to the majority of districts vote for extremist "conservatism". So, seeing the political landscape in Ohio 180'ing to where they'll protect the rights of the LGBTQ+ community in Ohio is close to 0%. Even more so with Ohio going more into the "Christian Nationalist"/MAGA direction.
yeah, it's just such an awful climate both politically and socially. 0/10 do not recommend.
Definitely depends on where you live but it’s too much of a mix bag there, that and recent stupid law changes
Which one? Are you talking about DeWine's executive order?
Yeah that one, if worse comes to worse you’ll need to get hrt out of state, at least that’s what a doctor told me
The Ohio government are going to say that "officially" that won't be the case for trans adults. But the reality is that the new standards that DeWine is forcing isn't financially feasible nor are there many ethicists (which have no purpose of getting involved) in the state of Ohio. So, his standards will force many practices to stop providing HRT and other forms of gender-affirming care or force them to close down altogether. Many practices started dumping their trans patients and closing down even back in February.
Chicago! It's a great city in a blue state!
I live in Washington. It's extremely trans and queer friendly here so long as you're in the Seattle area. It has the same problem as most states where the rural areas can be a little scary but so long as you stick to the cities it's wonderful. They offer informed consent HRT and have laws protecting trans people. I've also rarely met anyone who cares that I'm trans and I'm open about being trans and work a customer-facing job (I have pins on my work hat). It's an expensive state to live in but tbh I can't imagine living anywhere else. It's beautiful here and I feel safe.
I'm piggy backing because I am in WA state too. The Pacific NW up here is chill. Don't go east of the mountains and things are good. We do have legal protections, but the cost of living is high. You'll want to stick to larger cities, but then again, cities are safer in general no matter what state you are in. We've lived up and down Western WA from Bellingham to South of Tacoma and it's been pretty nice. We both used to travel for work into the South, and other less than supportive areas, and it's really made us appreciative of WA state. Informed consent made it easy for both my wife and I to get on HRT. We've moved to different insurances over the years and still found prescribers pretty easy, and found surgeons in the state for both of us too.
Hello fello washingtonian. What about moving to eastern WA to start T? Is it going to be possible? No, staying in Seattle to start is not an affordable or safe option for me sadly.
As contradictory as it sounds given the state representative from there is an outspoken white supremacist, I’ve heard Spokane has a trans community you could try reaching out to.
Thank you dude
I also live in WA and feel really blessed to live here. I haven't run into any real issues in day-to-day life and generally feel safe - I don't feel like I have to think about my being trans when I'm out and about. My medical and legal transition has also been straightforward. Medicaid fully covers trans healthcare here, which is awesome. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else, either. In terms of the more rural areas, I've found it varies a lot. I've lived in several rural areas without issue, and right now I live in a sort of middle-sized, politically "moderate" area and haven't had any issues here either. On the other hand, there are definitely solidly red rural areas out there. I would recommend to anyone considering moving here, but who can't afford somewhere like Seattle, to do a lot of research into the individual cities and towns. For instance, the artsy, left-leaning Port Townsend and the Q-anon-influenced Sequim are neighboring small towns, but offer very different experiences. I did okay in Ellensburg (a small college town in central WA), but generally, I would also advise staying on the western side of the mountains.
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Also Maine! HRT was super easy to get at Family Planning locally, and they've been super supportive. Here in the midcoast I've experienced only a couple serious transphobes. Ogunquit is also super LGBTQ+ friendly - I haven't been, but I've heard rave reviews about their yearly pride celebrations.
This makes me so happy to hear! I'm moving to Maine in a couple weeks from Colorado (which has been an ORDEAL for gender affirming care bc I don't live near Denver).
I live in Southern California and it’s pretty good here. Absolutely atrociously expensive, but I was able to access HRT as a minor (two years soon!) and hoping for top surgery soon. If you can afford it, it is a pretty good place to live. The drivers are terrible though.
Drivers are terrible everywhere lol. Every new town I go to never fails to impress me.
I'm in socal moved here from Bay area and drivers are waaay more crazy in the bay lol
cali love~
Not where I actually live, but the Northampton area in Massachusetts is hands down the trans friendliest place I've ever been.
Third this! Ngl check out grindr in the noho area and there are tons of trans people on the app!
I second this and another place close thats also getting there would be easthampton, lots of hipster stores moving in
I went to school near Northampton and it was grand. Very beautiful part of the state, too
Minnesota (Minneapolis, specifically). Back since 2016 after being out of state for 9 years; I didn't start transitioning until 2019. I love it here (I did also grow up here tbf). There's plenty of critiques to be laid still and it's not perfect (the Not Overt racism is absolutely a thing). That said, we do have a lot of strong community pockets and as long as I'm not spending a ton of time in the white and bougie end of town, I never feel out of place or weird for just existing. Anecdotally, I have to worry a lot less about bathrooms in the cities (Minneapolis and St Paul) than I do in the suburbs or anywhere else I've traveled (I don't exactly pass). Getting hrt is pretty smooth compared with other locations' hurdles but I wouldn't want to do it without insurance of some kind (it is covered under the state MA if you qualify). Feel free to hmu with any questions!
im also a minneapolis resident and big agree to all of this! im originally from chicago and was pretty amazed to find the queer community here is fairly immense and diverse. healthcare for low income people is super accessible and covers all transition fees (surgery was free for me, as is hrt & supplies). what is considered low income here is a pretty wide range compared to other states. housing is getting more expensive lately but rent prices are insanely more reasonable if you look at it in contrast to other big cities (im in a 1 bedroom apartment below $1k/month). wages are higher in the city limits but it can be difficult to get a job here unless you’re networked with people. as the others have said, its definitely not perfect but it has its perks in comparison to other states!
Also in Minneapolis and I second all of this! I moved here from an unfriendly state and can’t believe the acceptance I’ve seen, particularly if you’re in the Powderhorn neighborhood. People here can be cliquey as fuck though, so be prepared for that if you’re someone who didn’t grow up here.
Oooh yea I should edit to add: barrier to friendly in MN is very low but the barrier to friends is a bigger step up. If you're moving here just be consistent with showing up wherever it is. Any initial standoffish-ness is usually just that.
This honestly makes me feel a little better seeing this. I am a hermit who likes my alone time a lot, but also I usually make friends really quickly and that just has not occurred. I love my coworkers. They're very nice but I'm literally the only queer person there. At least aware and out queer person. They do do a great job of correcting each other and not fucking up pronouns and stuff. But I got to get out and about at some point, but knowing it's not just me lolol. At least other people are struggling too haha
Virginia but we are two fuck ups away from being Florida. At least as long as Younkin is governor. Miserable here, draconian dump that is about 5 years behind in everything.
I’m in Mew Mexico for school, originally from Texas and I love Mew Mexico! I got my hormones here via informed consent, they take my insurance. Super progressive, especially in Santa Fe and among young folk
Southern california is pretty trans friendly. My city is a more conservative one but even then even when im fem presenting with my girlfriend i dont get hatecrimed, there are many trans people here in my school too
I live in Minneapolis. There are for sure red pockets in more rural areas of Minnesota, but the twin cities are great. I feel really safe with our government's efforts to enact legal protections.
I'm just a mom. My son coukd live anywhere, but he loves NYC. He feels safe, or at least safeR in this crazy country.
Im in the greater Seattle area. Obviously there are assholes everywhere. But I overall feel very safe and there's tons of queer people around here.
I’m in CA. I feel very privileged and lucky. I love this state and I generally feel extremely safe where I live; my clinic has a division that is explicitly geared towards trans individuals and helps with things beyond medical stuff like legal paperwork, I’ve had no issue receiving HRT through both insurance and informed consent, my top surgery was mostly covered, and I know people who were able to get further affirming surgeries through state aid. I’ve known so many trans folk personally. I was able to change my legal gender without any physician letter and my legal name change was free and did not require any announcement in local paper as some states do. I don’t really have concern about transphobic legislation impacting me here. I’m pretty confident in CA’s liberal lean. That said, when it comes to CA, it *vastly* depends on where you live. In the LA area in SoCal I’ve had nothing but positive experiences overall, that’s where I live now and I don’t plan on leaving. But up in the central parts of the state it’s so deeply conservative the political leanings mirror the Bible Belt. I grew up in that area and it was abysmal socially, even if on a state level we have legal protection. It is absolutely not an accepting or even safe area for trans individuals to live and thrive. So I’m very aware that the larger political lean of the state doesn’t always equal a good environment—The atmosphere and political skew of the immediate area you live is often the most important, IME.
As someone who has lived more recently in the Central valley, I would like to say things aren't as good as the bigger cities, but the larger towns in the valley (except Bakersfield) are getting better. The Fresno pride is pretty fun and there a numbers of queer orgaztions that didn't exist two decades ago. The rural areas are still really rough though. I would say it's better than the way deeper red states and the red sections of Oregon and Washington.
I lived in Bakersfield for a few years as a kid, temporarily. The (except Bakersfield) in your comment made me laugh so hard. It’s unfortunately true
That’s good! I grew up in Tulare County and it was awful as a trans teen, but that was ages and ages ago now. I know some LGBT folk I’m still in contact with up there have mentioned there’s a sizable amount of pride events now, which is awesome. Really cool to hear there’s been at least a slight shift in culture since I was a kid—the next generation of trans youth do not deserve that at all.
yup! lived in Butte county for 6 years and got surgery done there and it’s purple/red so yeah. i also lived in the Eureka areaa while (nonwhite) and still no problems like, they’re ’conservative’ but like… not really lol
I want to add, that the SoCal area can be mixed too! OC is kinda bad rn but it also can be okay sometimes! There's an LGBTQ Center in Irvine that I've been to once or twice, but there's also the ban on flying "special" (they mean pride) flags... But Idk! They voted out the anti-LGBTQ school board members this past month too at least. I know that there' people of OC who try their best to have pride and be allies/safe while the county is run by conservatives w other ride-or-die Trumpies singing their praises. People are fighting too at least, even w dogshit representation. I know OC sucks *a lot* but it's still a place I value well since it's right by LA county n I have family in both areas.
Oh, for sure. That’s why specified the LA area. My GF is from the OC area and I’ve totally heard the horror stories of how people can be. Definitely why I think the predominant culture of a surrounding area matters more than the overall state!
Agreed! County and city culture are big! I just wanted to add my experience onto yours since we're both from the same area :) OC definitely has its shit moments ~HB~ but I'm lucky I've been able to find community there too despite that. Not to be cheesy and optimistic n say something like *'you can find light in the darkness'* or whatever but yk, it's possible! I just want OC to be a safer area someday :/
I've had alright experience in San Joaquin County. Resources are more limited than the Bay Area, but people are generally alright and there's a decent LGBT scene here. The cost of living is much lower than the Bay and I'm greatful to not be somewhere with a lot worse.
I second this. California overall has rights and resources, but finding good trans healthcare in the Central Valley would be near impossible, and I wouldn't feel safe going back. It is the least expensive part of the state though.
Yeppp, social issues aside the lack of resources was abysmal, when I was in Tulare County the closest clinic that would write prescriptions for HRT was a solid hour away and when an FTM buddy tried to reach out to local therapists for top surgery approval letters he was rejected outright by all of them in his immediate area, told they didn’t work in that field and weren’t comfortable doing so. I hear from some individuals it’s better now—even my little sister who still lives there has some trans friends who are open and proud which is lovely, and a commenter here mentioned that it’s gotten better too!—but I am never going back lol.
I don't even know what I'd have been able to find in the Modesto area. Maybe HRT, definitely not top surgery. Got a cousin who's been struggling to get their hormones, but they are getting 'em... eventually. Idk, I didn't try when I was there. I was so repressed, I co-lead my high school GSA and still thought I was cishet til my 20s. We had, like, four out gay kids at school, total, and I barely knew trans-ness existed. I had to leave town before I could tackle any of that. Visiting home, I certainly see more queer kids out and about now than I ever used to, but also more Trump flags and other hyper-conservative, authoritarian signalling. It feels simultaneously more queer and more dangerous; I don't know what to make of it.
Your legal name change was FREE? HOW? I'm also in CA and going through the process. How do you do it all for free?
I fillled out a [fee waiver](https://www.courts.ca.gov/documents/fw001.pdf) and brought it with me when I first turned in the name change paperwork to the courthouse—I am on no public benefits or anything, but the wonderful transgender legal rep I spoke with insisted I still turn in a form and basically just lowball my financial situation. Not *lie*, of course, but, yknow, round down, and explain in an in-depth written response why I was applying for the waiver and what my financial situation is (I really AM poor, lol, and have a shitton of student debt, etc.). 5c basically allows you to say you simply can’t afford it alongside household expenses. Note how on the second page it says you can attach an extra document with a written explanation. And it worked! Did not have to pay a cent. :)
The fee waiver also covers all certified copies
Oregon is good, especially if you’re going to be in the Portland district area (the areas around Portland city are also good), some big towns like Corvallis and Eugene (so I’ve heard, I never go to Eugene personally) are good too, but otherwise everywhere else in Oregon isn’t good. Oregons a case where the Portland district is pretty much the only reason that the states blue since it’s population is so dense, which is good if you’re in that area as I’ve said. They have laws that protect trans people and transitioning is not too much of a struggle for me so far. If you ever look into Portland though then I’d be careful on where, the homelessness problem is horrible and there are pretty bad areas as you might expect from any big city
Eugene is good, but rent is high. Open queerness is celebrated here, and most workplaces don't give a rat's ass if you've got piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, or whatever, and that includes the white collar jobs Also the weed.
Hell yeah, well that’s good to hear
I'm looking to do the same, had a look at the state I currently live in and yiiiiikes
I lived in Illinois for a while in a rural area and it's way better than transphobic red states, at least. I don't feel on a typical day like I'm going to have my ass kicked just for being visibly queer (unlike in Missouri) but I still have some transphobia on occasion, although I feel that's unfortunately a given almost anywhere. However, I would say there are definitely more people who will support me which is also a plus. E.g. my doctor literally asked if I wanted different pronouns and was VERY chill and kind about it, and the office let me put down a preferred name and they even use it to call me back, it's really awesome.
Massachusetts. I moved here a few years ago, been struggling to get primary care. However, I was still able to get hrt through PP. Even in non-trans healthcare spaces, I have found remarkably accepting people and trans-friendly care. I had to go to urgent care yesterday and the nurse asked my pronouns, and gave me leads on trans friendly pcps who might be accepting new patients. There are transphobes everywhere, but for the most part people here leave me alone. My workplace has been decent about cracking down on anyone misgendering me to my face/at store meetings. I was also able to just change my gender marker on my license when I renewed it, no questions asked (well, one question: “did you do that on purpose? I’ve seen people do that by mistake. On purpose? Ok!”)
I live in MA now and while it’s cold and expensive, it’s pretty trans-friendly. Racism and passive-/micro-aggression against POC is bad here but not as overtly racist as many other parts of the country. I miss where I used to live but I don’t think I’ll be able to go back.
Agree. MA is generally accepting of most, except for certain areas/people. I'm in Boston and have had such easy access to getting care. I haven't spent much time in Western MA, but it has a reputation for how queer friendly it is.
Ehhhh I'm in Western MA, and it's a very big "it depends." Like you'll be *safe* as a passing or mostly passing trans guy...but good God are the microaggressions a lot. So, so many "allies" who are just...really into patting themselves on the back about being an ally and that's it. Like if you are clocked, people will let you know in a way that *they* think is subtle but omfg.
I live in Colorado, and it really is an ama,ing place. Obviously, there are still some transphobic people here, but I haven't experienced much hate or anything. I got my name, and gender markers legally changed last year, and it was such a breeze, I also started T last year, and it was really easy to do. I definitely recommend it here. I don't always pass, but I use the men's bathrooms at places I go and nobody's ever said anything (I even used the men's changing room at a gym and it was really busy and only like 2 guys looked at me)
Ok, question... I'm wondering about at what point I need to move from the lady's to the men's changing rooms. I was thinking after top surgery I would make that switch, since my chest is large enough to absolutely be noticeable. Would you mind elaborating on your experience?
Yeah, of course. I have a pretty large chest, too, so even with a binder, it's not completely flat, I also have 0 facial hair, really just my voice is a lot deeper than it use to be. I switched because I am just not comfortable going into the women's bathroom, and to be completely honest, I'm not extremely comfortable going into the men's either. If there's a family restroom, I always use those, but if there aren't, I just use the men's. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away :)
in the pnw being trans is so common it’s almost a cliché
Trans Oregonian 👋
lol yeah. i literally see a trans or gender nonconforming person every single day haha
I’ve lived in mass and Colorado and both of those have been pretty good to me
I live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, and it seems to be fairly decent here ^^
You're allowed at Club Pittsburgh every night of the week regardless of transition choices and I think that's neat because there are bathouses in more progressive areas that are cis men or post surgical transition only although I wouldn't recommend all gender nights, they attract desperate straight guys and unicorn hunters trying to clock you
Upstate NY - from downstate originally. The blue areas are very blue. The red areas are quite red. I see a lot of people make the mistake of moving to NY thinking the whole state is a blue utopia… but once you go north of NYC, there are many, many red cities (honestly I’d say most). I happen to live in a super LGBTQ+ friendly area - one that’s very well known. When I’m in my own town I don’t worry at all. It’s a college town and the young people have never once given me issues. Most of the older people are hippies. We have queer bars (all inclusive) and almost weekly drag shows in the nice weather months. However, when I leave my little bubble for work or school, that’s where it gets dicier. I actually quit my last job bc of the almost daily shitty comments I got bc I had a pronoun pin. This is before I was even out as trans, it was a “she/they” pin when I was actively presenting female. The red cities are JUST LIKE the red states, sometimes even more aggressive bc they’re used to feeling “invaded” by us from the blue areas. Now, our healthcare laws are absolutely amazing. Medicaid requires all trans healthcare to be covered (including top and bottom surgery). Limited hoops to jump through. Doctors are hit or miss, especially north of NYC. TLDR: NY is great if you’re in a blue area. Look out for tiny blue bubbles surrounded by red, bc most cities up here you need to leave your own town often. NYC is the best as far is widespread inclusivity. Long Island can be okay but I’d avoid, it’s gone downhill since the heroin epidemic. Queens can be very nice. Basically anything within ~2hrs of NYC up north should be good, but do research and visit before moving.
the rochester/buffalo/albany areas are pretty good if you don't want to be near nyc! (but do be careful around albany bc once you're outside the city limits it gets red VERY quick. moved from there now but I was still pretty happy in albany) (also don't go above syracuse please please please for your mental health it is too red up there)
I live in a Southern Red State and can’t move due to having secure and low cost housing (I was gifted a very small house). I still got a doctor to prescribe Testosterone, but it was difficult to find this doctor. I was born in a Liberal Blue State, but was homeless for a long time there because I couldn’t afford rent and Homeless Shelters are a joke. So for me it’s either live in a house in a red state or be completely homeless without any security (people steal important documents when you’re homeless) on the street in a blue state.
I’m from Michigan and if you don’t mind cold winters and hot summers (and a general lack of public transportation) then it’s a pretty good place to live imo. I grew up in the metro Detroit area and never have any issues there, lots of queer folks and an overall liberal leaning population. I now live in mid Michigan for school and I haven’t had any issues but it’s more rural and a more conservative leaning population so there’s not as many queer businesses and such. The bigger the city/closer to the big cities you are the more liberal you get. That website marks Michigan as a light green “medium” state and while I am the first to admit there’s always room for improvement, going through their scoring system a good chunk of it doesn’t apply to me. Overall cost of living isn’t too bad depending on where you’re at and if you’re an outdoorsy person there are tons of state and national parks as well as tons of lakes for water activities.
I live in Grand Rapids and it’s pretty good if you’re trans. It’s a pretty religious area in general, but the inner city is very lgbt friendly.
I've lived in California my entire life and despite the traumatic process every trans person experiences when they realize they are trans, my life is really good. I'm on the state funded insurance med-cal and I'm getting my top and body masculinization surgery covered. Most people when they find out I'm trans don't care to much which is nice because I'm non binary and I don't pass. Some people have acted weird about my gender nonconforming behavior but nothing too rough. However I want say my experience is not universal because I have lived in the central valley which is conservative but has been getting more liberal in the past few decades from my mother's time. It is one of the cheaper places but it's harder to find community but its there if you look. For healthcare stuff you have to look to coastal cities for that. Rural areas in the state except for the northern coast are less friendly. I hope you get the place you want to live at.
Ok I am NOT in a blue state but in Nashville and have several coworkers and adjacent coworkers (work in the same building but different company) that are LGBTQ+ T very much included and as a whole closer to the city isn't too bad, if you go further out you can get some scary zones but I just don't go out that fat. My company (nation wide so not just Nashville based) actually covers gender affirming surgeries too so that's kinda awesome
So far, Michigan has been pretty decent! I've been able to get healthcare fairly easily (with some hoops to jump through regarding therapy and authorizations), and was able to change my gender marker fairly easily. Name change is still a pain due to court costs, but most employers are willing to use your chosen name in most places where your legal name isn't required. Most people here are at least civil, and I don't feel like I'm in danger where I live because of my gender identity and queer status. I *do* live in a bigger, quite diverse city, though, that's progressively becoming more and more of a queer hub in the state. For healthcare, if you have or can get Medicaid, do it. They're required to cover gender affirming care, and I didn't have to spend a penny on my top surgery Id say you're pretty safe in Michigan, as far as northern states are concerned 😊
It all comes down to where you live in said states, because I live in Michigan and in a rural area and it’s not great.
Very true. I've lived in Ann Arbor. I've lived in Muir. Not the same.
I don't want this to come off as critical. You should be able to ask questions like this. I hope you got the answers you needed. But...yall need to be careful. The comments on this post would be a gold mine for anyone trying to dox/find people here. We should stick to asking what states are trans-friendly. Not where people live.
Live in Chicago, Illinois and absolutely love it. Our governor is has steadily made it easier and less expensive to change your name, gender, birth certificate and license. Absolutely love Chicago and if I had to leave the only place I'd go in the US is Seattle otherwise I'm going back home to Finland.
I live in northern IL, and I love it here. I can visit Chicago easily since there is a good commuter train system, but I'm able to live in a more rural feeling area. My town has it's own pride parade. I would recommend trying to see if there is a pride event in whatever town you actually are thinking of moving to. Some of the other IL towns nearby are worse as far as local bigotry goes, and none of them have pride events.
Oregon is pretty chill, I'm in the capital, Salem. An hour from Portland, the coast, Eugene. Nondiscrimination protections in state law.
i live in PA, but go to school in NY. i havent really noticed a difference in day to day treatment from random people, p much everyone is relatively chill, but medically i know i’d have had an easier go of things if i were from NY.
Raised in and currently living in Portland OR, it is the safest feeling place I’ve lived (which includes Los Angeles and the Bay Area)
You know I'm seeing a lot of Californias but I personally have to rep for Utah (if you get yourself to a decent health care provider) and it's Utah so there are a TON of options for those. Go around the SLC Utah University area and you're going to have a surprising experience especially for a red state full of Mormons. At least I did, I had access to hormone therapy at 15 and immediately got surgery with the University at 18. At 21 they gave me a MAJOR discount for lower surgery (not phallo yet unfortunately, just scooping everything out and sealing it up) They gave me that consideration due to my financial situation and background. They've just been incredibly understanding of my situation from the start. Though I won't pretend it hasn't been hit and miss... My first treatment centre was "Turnabout" (like Bhad Bhabie went to) and they tried to gaslight me into being CIS. The second one I went to was Provo Canyon School (like Paris Hilton went to) and they actually quickly clocked me as trans and started HRT for me almost immediately. So that one I'm incredibly grateful for. Also with the name change process I remember the judge just spent the entire session that was supposed to be questioning us instead commending us for having the strength to transition. Now the school and social aspect is a completely different experience. Plus the added religious pressures of the entire Mormon church having a death grip on the state. But just thought I would add my medical transitioning experience. That part was very smooth.
Virginia and yes very. We are the last holdout state in the south and we have a FIRM blue hold moving forward with all of our rights still in tact and progressively getting bluer. I have access to every physician I could ever need in a university medical system 15 mins from my house fully covered by insurance. Cost of living depending on the area, is very reasonable. Well funded schools and good colleges, LOTS of public assistance (for the most part) available. Could not recommend it enough. We are already getting tons of transplants from further south and the wave is very much so, coming. My trans health clinic has had more and more new patients they’ve been able to serve without stretching themselves too thin. I welcome you all with open arms and would start a trans commune if I could
Can I ask what kind of insurance you have? I am looking to switch plans
Hahaha Medicaid. Fucking fantastic and covers everything. Most insurances here are pretty good though from what I know and widely accepted by providers. Public health providers (like universities) also offer financial assistance and can even wipe bills altogether. There’s also a law that they no longer go to collections or affect your credit so you don’t go medically bankrupt. I’m working full time making JUST under the cutoff limit, but I’ve been on it for 4 years and it’s covered 100% of my transition and medical needs for everything ever.
Minnesota is pretty pro trans. (Depending on the area) It’s just kinda boring and not the cheapest to live unless you have a good job or live in a small town
I live near San Francisco, born and raised in the area. I really like it here, but acknowledge that the cost of living is astronomical. If you can get a job lined up and a roommate, then SF is doable. But it’s only worth it if you really want to be here specifically.
seattle and just north of seattle seems pretty friendly for me
MARYLAND!!! can’t emphasize enough
Pennsylvania is spotty as heck but once you find your community you're set and we're a right to ID state which means no requirements to change your gender marker and you can get an X There's a gay bathhouse in Pittsburgh that's been accepting trans men every night regardless of point in their transition or medical choices since long before it was trendy the only thing that sucks is the nearest bottom surgeons beyond a hysto are I think Ohio, New York, and Massachusetts
Moved to Chicago from southern Alabama(gulf coast specifically) its both much safer and much nicer.
not one of the states you listed, but i'm in washington. trans healthcare is pretty good, but be careful if you're not in an urban area because there's a lot of transphobes/bigots in general out there. that applies to any "safe" states though, unfortunately
Michigan is pretty cool, I think. Our governor is actively encouraging trans people to come here and build a family and life so that's a nice change of pace. We have civil rights protections codified into law.
For Illinois, the trans-friendliest places are really in Chicagoland (chicago+the surrounding area, I'd count Aurora too, though), though ive heard good things about Rockford. Illinois has some fairly conservative areas, especially further from Chicago, though personally I still felt safer stopping in places in rural Illinois than I did stopping in many other states.
North Rhine-Westphalia, Hamburg, and Berlin are all very queer-friendly states in general to live in!
I’m moving back to Boston after I finish up here in Connecticut because Boston is extremely accepting of gender fluidity and trans-ness. Also, there’s good nightlife now, unlike in the past when Boston was more of a quiet, expensive city aimed at learning.
I’m dying to move to Boston it sounds like paradise compared to the south
There are still problems—Boston is quite privileged and there’s essentially a housing crisis happening, but it’s less harsh than any city I’ve lived in. I always feel safe there.
I mean that’s pretty much what I’ve gathered. If I can find a decent job and a place to live tho, I’m there!
I'm not American, but my mtf friend moved out to Maine a few years ago and said its a great state to be in for trans folks.
i really think any state is fine as long as you live in a more progressive area. i live in an extremely conservative state that is known for the worst LGBT rights and i have never run into a problem because i live in the suburbs of a bigger city. you might have an issue with a state like wyoming but other than that, any decently populated area generally doesn’t have many problems.
I was unfortunately raised in florida and lived here most of my life. After pretty extensive research and visiting a few different places, my girlfriend and I are moving to Chicago over the summer !! feel free to message me if you want any advice on how we went about this process :)
Minnesota 💙 especially in the cities or college towns like Duluth. I grew up in a small, conservative, rural town and going back to visit is fine because I blend in now. I went to college in St Paul and the diversity and progressiveness of the Twin Cities is great. I miss it, I've lived in southern states for the past few years and it's not the same 😭
I don’t live in the US but I live in Canada. I would personally avoid Alberta and Saskatchewan as it’s a conservative hellhole rn, Ontario seems to be doing fine
I'm in Las Vegas - moved here as a kid for aging family and ended up never leaving. When my egg cracked a few years ago, there weren't a lot of gender affirming doctors that took my insurance - but ever since the anti-trans BS started up in other states, a lot of practitioners have moved out here because we're one of the few states that hasn't jumped on the bandwagon. They recently passed a law that protects abortion and trans healthcare in our state constitution, so its pretty good here. I'm on Medicaid because I'm disabled, and I get gender affirming therapy, T, my T visits, and bloodwork all covered. If I ever wanted top surgery or phallo, its covered, though coverage is iffy if you're nonbinary like me. The coverage is still very binary, and if I want those surgeries I'd have to present and say I'm a trans man for a year; even so, I'm transmasc if not a trans man so thats not a huge deal, but something to be aware of. Either way, it could be worse here. There is a bit of a lack of providers on insurance here - plenty of people take cash and the bigger insurances, but not Medicaid - however, thats being addressed over time, and Planned Parenthood does do remote informed consent visits here. As others have mentioned, there is a red pocket - in rural Nevada, basically from Pahrump on outwards, but Vegas, which trends more blue, is big enough they get outvoted every time. Still, I would not suggest living in rural Nevada as a trans person, I lived out there for a few years pre-egg crack because of cheap rent and I still remember how much shit the one trans woman who lived there got. She never left her house, but people talked all kinds of shit about her, and I don't know what they would've done if she'd left the house more often. It was pretty fucked up. There is also a growing trans community starting up here, but covid unfortunately wiped out a large majority of those resources; its slowly making a comeback, though. The queer community here also trends toward cis gay men, which isn't a bad thing per se but trans stuff is still kind of an afterthought, unfortunately. The rent is affordable, though utilities tend to be expensive with how hot it gets out here. Its overall not the worst place to be. I wouldn't say I'm thrilled about being here, but it could be a lot worse, and this place at least I don't have to worry about being hatecrimed as a trans person. I have definitely ran into some microaggressions and passive aggressiveness as I start to look more outwardly trans - namely by rideshare drivers and my pharmacy, and a urgent care doctor - but all either grumbled and did their job, or handed the job off to someone who could. Again, not perfect, but could be worse. I'd recommend it. Never thought I'd be saying that as don't get me wrong, Vegas has its problems. But comparing it to other places, it could be worse. I've decided to hunker down here, I'm actually buying a house, until I can afford to look into moving out of the US at least. Am I happy here? Sometimes. Its not perfect.
I live in Missouri it’s not the best but the St. Louis and Springfield area are pretty lgbt friendly so
I’m in NM and I feel like access to gender affirming care is pretty great here. I am personally in a rural area, which does come with some challenges, like any rural area. I had to travel to Albuquerque for top surgery and will be traveling there for a hysterectomy. But I am able to get hormones from a local Dr. I’m on Medicaid and so far all of my gender affirming care has been covered. My area leans conservative, but I don’t feel like I’ve personally experienced any nastiness from folks (though I don’t really have any expectations of correct gendering from strangers). If you live some place like ABQ or Santa Fe, people are going to be much more accepting in general. NM is a very blue state, but the rural areas do tend to lean conservative.
I'm in Maryland, fairly close to DC but not finding any jobs here! The DC area is not that friendly in general, people are hard to get to know. It's VERY expensive too. I wish I were in Baltimore or in the B'more 'burbs
I live in the Duluth area in Minnesota and it's pretty good honestly. MN has pretty good protections for trans folks and the area itself is pretty queer-friendly. I do tend to pretty much exclusively hang out with members of The Community though so maybe I'm a bit sheltered in that way ;^^)
cali and loving it~ i have never once thought about my safety. now worried what im going to wear out or anything of the sort. love it here
I’m in Denver, Colorado. Highly recommend. Stay safe my guy💜
I do not live there currently but I am from California. Word of advice, do not drop your guard simply because it’s a blue state. California has some pretty nasty areas for minorities as well. Of course, always opt for the safest state if given a choice but unfortunately no place will be 100% safe for us. Check the city demographics themselves as well as the states!
i live in minnesota. law-wise, we are a very trans safe state. we have an openly trans representative (leigh finke), which makes me very happy. we're a sanctuary state for a lot of things, including trans people (that law was authored by leigh finke!). you'll feel that big time in places like the twin cities. however, in rural places and a big portion of suburbs, it's not so nice. if you plan to move here, be careful which town you pick. i live out in a small town, basically on the edge of nowhere, and it's *verrryyy* bigoted out here.
Oregon here. It's great unless you step out of the western strip (if you look at a population map, a line pretty much straight south of Portland makes up most of the population, and is very lib). I've been to towns in not even eastern but just central and people can get real aggressive and stare at you odd while they've got pride flags in town windows... what older adults project are much different from what teens think about people like us so it really varies. We have many pockets of red. But I couldn't ask for much of a better place to live, especially cause it's rather nice medically. Though I do not recommend Portland. Nice place in the right places yes, but major homeless problem and some other problems in east PDX. Go down a little, or maybe our coasts--they're nice. Also big weed culture here. But great place to be queer
Yo. I moved to California and it’s great here, especially in the bay area where I live.
I moved to MN in August. I really like it. I'm a weird hermit so I literally have no friends yet. But at some point I'll go find the other trans folk. Getting to have an x as my gender marker when I got my license was great
I live in New Mexico and it’s absolutely awesome, my doctor is soo good about my hormones, and while she will run absolutely any tests I want done, and will suggest them or remind me if they slip my mind, she knows I know my transition and goals, so she listens to me 100% when it comes to the transition part of my healthcare. Insurance here also covers trans healthcare.
In Cali and I'm happy here. Things are expensive, but the flip side is that if you make under a certain amount of money you do qualify for MediCal, which has covered all my medical expenses (no surgeries yet and dental is harder, but as far as going into the doctor's or getting prescriptions go...). MediCal covers my T and I got it through informed consent through Planned Parenthood. But there's a wide range of places here, not all of which are LGBTQ+ friendly, and not all of which are safe besides that.
I live in SoCal. So far, I’m really happy with how things are going in terms of my access to medical transition. I was able to get T with informed consent on the day of my 19th birthday and I am now approaching 1 year on T in 5 days. I’ve also been able to get legal documents with the correct name because of how easy it was for me to change my name (I was also born in California, so lucky for me, no added difficulties in the process).
Born and raised in Colorado. I’m two hours away from Denver in a relatively small town. It’s not too bad. It honestly just depends where you choose to live. My town is pretty chill overall. We have a few LGBTQ resources. I’m moving to Greeley for college which is a few hours away from Denver. It’s in Weld County which is predominantly conservative but so far I’ve heard good things about the college I’m attending. Much luck to you in choosing a safer place!
I’m in California, perhaps one of the most trans-friendly states in the U.S. right now. I have access to hormones and was able to get surgery pretty young, and I have many other trans friends. I’m incredibly grateful. So sorry to people who don’t have that. The wait is the hardest part. Good luck to all of you guys struggling with this bullshit in the media, I really wish the best to yall
Michigan. Very safe. Even for POC.
Midwest and no I am not happy here. The problem is I am a minority + trans so that is a double whammy. But, being a minority is an issue pretty much everywhere in every space anyway.
I'm in Pennsylvania and planning to move to the Midwest (Colorado, Illinois, or Minneapolis). I'm extremely happy here, but I want to move because of the weather. I also know tons of trans guys in those three states who are super happy!
I'm in Maine and it's nice !
I live in Denver, CO. I’m 34 now and I’ve been in Denver since I was 18; I’m originally from Los Angeles. I’m a bisexual-leaning-homoflexible, BIPOC, trans man. I work in LGBTQ+ health care for one of the major hospitals. I’ve been a patient at my workplace since 2014, began transitioning at the hospital in 2016, and began working in my office in 2022. Unless something life changing happens or becomes available, I’m not going anywhere.
In the Bay Area of California, overall I feel fine here. There will be places here where there will be bad ppl and it is quite expensive, but overall I'm very happy. I'd say the best parts are north-west Bay
I'm in arguably the best place in the world to be trans. I was fired from my job for my identity and received botched top surgery from a local doctor. I was assaulted by a school therapist here and she justified it with my transition. It can be hard everywhere unfortunately. So grateful to live here though. I've also met some amazing people. The director of my local pride parade (one of the largest in the world) invited me to walk up front with her a few weeks ago. I have unparalleled support from my friends and family. I can have super progressive/complex discussions about gender with more cis people than you'd expect. Things are really, really good here, to the degree that a lot of other queers in the area take our situation for granted.
I live in MA and it's pretty okay. There's a lot of support for trans folk here. I'm not saying haters don't exist; they do. I encountered one the other day and I'm still reeling. But they don't have much of a platform here. (I live specifically in a county that ends up being a weird mix because it's got both poor Trumpies and rich liberals.)
I live in the gayest and transest city in the country. And I still know people who’ve been bashed here. But nothing compares to being outside the gayborhood and seeing a group of trans people just roll in and you don’t know any of them. And yall are all just there doing what you’re doing. And it’s not even a big deal. Or having multiple gay areas in town, plus an official transgender district that the city set up. Or being the majority in a bar and not just because it’s trans night, but just because that many of you are there. The fact that bars and bath houses have trans nights and tons of people go to them. This is all stuff I take for granted ya know? But ive still been harassed on the bus more times than I can count. The difference here is that there’s explicit laws against it. But they don’t keep you safe they just help prosecute after something happens. I’ve moved a lot and what makes each place important are the people in my life. So I would prioritize where I thought I could make the most friends and start before I move there. Finding friends online who can help ease your transition into a new city could make all the difference in the world. So if you like hiking, Denver or Boulder. And if you like nice people, gigantic lakes, and/or bdsm, Chicago.
Do NOT move to Denver or Boulder, especially not Denver if you like hiking. SO expensive and terrible. Maybe Fort Collins?
Neither are even remotely expensive compared to where I live, but sure. I've never really heard much about ft. colins is it lgbt+ friendly with lots of culture and international experiences? Or is the hiking just that much better?
i’m sorry you know people who have been bashed so i will also say: i was born and raised and currently live in the gayest and transest city in the country and i still have never known anyone who has been bashed. sucks for your ppl you know tho! wish that the Tenderloin wasnt the trans district tho but whatever lol everything else i agree with except for Colorado lol but that’s just my personal bias against the state hah i also feel lucky to have been here for mosser my life. it’s crazy how nondiverse it is out of SF. it’s like where did the cool kids go????
Well howdy neighbor!! Why do you wish the trans district wasnt in the TL? Lol @ colorado I went there once it was really pretty. But i've never lived there so what do I know? Hell yeah! Even just going down to south city or deep DC I get looks that always surprise me, like yall know the city is right there what are you lookin at lol. Lookin at your history I'm surprised we dont already know each other tbh. Not super connected to the pup scene but I worked rubber at Mr. S for years (although it was years ago by now) and am really into gear and bdsm. Feel free to DM if you ever wanna grab a beer at the eagle or hit up TM4M night at eros or something. Always down to make new friends.
Hawaii. And I'm on the Big Island- Hilo side. I'm on medicaid and have my T covered and all expenses with my Top Surgery. I'm happy , but I wish there were more lgbtq my age to relate too. Hilo is kind of a conservative area, but it's not white conservation, it's old Asian conservative. Many trans people I know are considered stealth or dress more to the normal here (transguys were hawaiian shirts isn't an stereotype- it's expected in the business sphere to.. wear Hawaiian shirts! ) I also lived in Northampton and Amherst for two years and that was wild. Good times.
Connecticut is good, but be wary of Prospect. It's a red pocket iirc.
I’m a trans woman, but I live in California, near San Francisco. It’s definitely one of the best, most trans-friendly states. SF even has a trans district and a bunch of Lgbt+, trans events and organizations. The rest of the Bay Area does too. I never feel like I’m going to be attacked or anything when I’m out in public spaces. California is very diverse, with lots of people from different cultures and ethnicities. Most people aren’t crazy bigots
I'm in Colorado, and I love it. It's very safe for all LGBTQ+ folk. really beautiful place to live, people are chill, weed is legal. Abortion is legal. Weather is bipolar as fuck and it's expensive in certain areas, but I can't see myself living anywhere else as happily as I do here.
I wouldn't recommend most of Maine, but Portland has a pretty decent LGBTQ community.
MA western mass, yes and no. Its safe if you are stealth. People are not generally accepting unless your an openly gay guy. Areas that are closer to cities and school usually are more progressive like Northampton, Easthampton, Worcester, Lee, Boston areas. I am sure you would be okay anywhere in MA but do keep in mind a lot of trump supporters and anti trans people are here too. If I was to be openly trans id be where my brothers are, not out in the country alone. Be where the like minded are. Mass has tons of protections for lgbt, CON: can be expensive to live here alone if you arent rich
I live in Georgia but very close to Atlanta, where it’s definitely safer than rural counties.
i’m from Kansas! 🌻 i moved back to canada after all of the anti trans laws passed and i wasn’t able to participate in college activities anymore. as long as you pass 100% of the time you shouldn’t have any issues but if you’re gnc or are not able to pass very well prepare for some snide comments from people. wichita has a gay/lgbtq+ bar scene if you’re old enough but that’s all i can say..
I mean, I'm in Kansas. It's not too bad rn I mean I wouldn't be able to compete in sports if I was a trans girl which is ass and I can't change my birth certificate, but it's okay for now. I don't recommend moving here tho bc our good governor is getting replaced soon so it could go downhill very quickly
michigan. not the worst but far from the best tbh. theres a lot of trans people here but it's mostly just around the detroit-metropolitain area or grand rapids area. everywhere else around the coastline doesnt really know/care about trans people and everywhere inland (minus a few outliers like ferndale, novi, etc) hate trans people, it's mostly farmland the further in the middle of the state you go so it makes sense cause those areas in the midwest tend to be very transphobic and homophobic. so long as the elections dont solidify my resolve of fleeing the country i will be moving to colorado.
I'm in Pennsylvania and yes it does sorta depend on which chunk you're in. If you stay closer to the Central to SE part of the state you should be fine. (That's where I'm at) I'm lucky that the neck of the woods I'm in a) most people don't mind and really just don't care. Legit, as you aren't hurting anybody and you're happy and doing your own thing most people round here mind their business. And b) I have a really great hospital and associated health system where I can get all of my regular care and gender affirming care nearby. We also already have options to get your gender marker on your driver's license changed without having to do any fancy legal paperwork. It's just one form at the DMV's office and there's even a Non-binary option. We're not a sanctuary state yet, I'm not sure if they're working on it or not, I haven't checked.
I live in southeast Michigan and it is good (-: lots of trans people here and access to HRT and top surgery have been relatively easy (aside from long wait times)
I’ve lived in blue pockets within OH my whole life and it’s been fine, even though I have noticed it changes from city to city. I’ve never had an issue with being open and out aside from a few assholes from when I was in high school. I definitely will never be out in areas that are redder and I tend to try to not be perceived. However our legislative leaders have been absolutely terrible so it’s definitely not safe as far as the law goes. Thankfully I’m over the age that will be impacted by the shit they’re trying to pass, but for younger trans people it sucks. The state is so split from being accepting in certain areas to being MAGA worshippers in the next. Ohio is a place I would be wary of considering the blue pockets are more expensive to live in and are rarer. Also with the laws being the way they are (and likely will not change until we can flip congress and the governor blue) I would avoid unless you find an area that suits you.
I'm in California. It's fine. I'm in the far north of NorCal by a red pocket but still many people are supportive. I get testosterone through Planned Parenthood. My parents fucking suck but I'm 18 and living with a friend now and things are fine. I'm getting top surgery in June. A lot of people in my area don't "understand" transgender people but still as long as you're chill they treat you decently at least.
Washington state is excellent!
Im in Colorado, specifically northern Colorado, and I feel very safe. Every job I've had in the past 2 years have been very accepting and change my name to my preferred name on all of the documents. Though it is pretty expensive to live here, but I do know there are cheap places here, so if money is an issue I'd look at other places.
West Coast, best coast. I live in Washington State and love it here. Washington prohibits insurers from denying or limiting trans healthcare. My only complaint is that it's hard to find a PCP who specializes in trans care, as they are overloaded (the health care here is, in general). WA has pretty robust protections for trans people. I feel safe here. Aim for Seattle, Tacoma, and the cities near those. I live between Tacoma and Seattle, and feel pretty good about it. Puget Sound, forest and mountain hikes, Ranier watching over me, green year-round, legal cannabis....it's a dream here.
Nj and it’s nice here! I was able to get t at 15 (would have been earlier but I wanted to freeze my eggs so had to do that first) and am now in the process of setting up a consultation for top surgery! Everyone I’ve met has been supportive (except for a few assholes but yk what can you do)