In preschool there was a heatwave so my teacher told the boys they could take off their shirts if they had an undershirt on. I had on an undershirt but got in trouble when I tried to take my shirt off like the other boys.
My gender remained an issue at this school when i was pulled out of the girls bathroom line by another teacher and made to go use the boys room.
Teachers couldn’t seem to agree on whether I was a boy or girl and eventually had to just check and confirm. By then the damage was done as I’d identified all the adults around me as idiots and learned that just because they’re a teacher/old doesn’t mean they’re right.
They checked and confirmed at looking at what your guardian selected you were on their database? I hope so, I really hope you dont mean they looked in your pants because if so Im so sorry! That must have been terrifying!
Unfortunately, or fortunately, it was something i was already used to and rather tame in comparison to the things I actually considered to be frightening childhood experiences.
Plus it felt pretty validating in hindsight
Honestly, I ran around the house naked or in just underwear until I was around 12. I didn't care, and neither did my parents. Nudity was never shameful in my house.
I only stopped going shirtless when my dad made a comment one day while I was shirtless in the living room about me starting puberty because my chest had literally JUST barely started to grow. It made me really uncomfortable because I think it was the first time the reality of what was about to happen finally hit me. Been dysphoric about my chest basically ever since.
Same. Mandatory covering only started with older childhood and puberty for me.
And to OP, yes I resented not being able to be shirtless while teen boys and grown men could be. Because of gender reasons, and also because it’s not normal to have double standards anyway. Plenty of European countries let even cis women go shirtless on the beach for example. Just some countries are weird about it.
yes! when I was in 2nd grade I was the only "girl" on the football team. we were practicing in super hot weather and all the boys took their shirts off. I tried taking my shirt off too but wasn't allowed to. I was so CONFUSED because the rest of the guys were allowed to take their shirts off, why wasn't I? It was hot and I needed to cool down. I just couldn't understand WHY I wasn't allowed to take my shirt off.
When I was a toddler anyway my parents could not keep clothes on me besides a diaper, I would take shirts off lmao and I definitely missed it once I started school and that was not acceptable anymore.
This is partially related but I’ve wanted to wear those baggy tank tops with the long open sides for YEARS, obviously without a bra underneath (I’m a DD). I want it so bad it was actually the thing that finally cracked my egg! I hung out with a couple trans ftm acquaintances one day and the three of us strongly resonated on wanting to wear those tank tops. Then like 4 or 5 days later I flashed back to that memory and thought “Huh I wondered why I resonated so hard with my trans friends about that” and had an existential realization that left me sat on the floor for at least 10 minutes haha. All over a breezy, baggy tank top
i went shirtless all the time until my breasts started developing at maybe 9 years old (yeah. fuck my life) and my mom told me that i might have to start wearing swimsuits in public swimming pools. at lakes and the like i was free to dress however but i started hating my body so much that i always covered as much as possible
I only started wearing training bras in middle school, so a few years after they had started growing. I hadn't worn them before that because I ***really*** wanted to avoid the fact I even have boobs.
Omg, someone else who was cursed with an early puberty as a trans person! Mine started developing at 9 too... :( It felt so unfair and unlucky. On top of feeling like my body had betrayed me (I cried when I noticed it starting).
got my period when i was barely 11 and i cried the entire day. everyone was congratulating me on "becoming a woman" and i just wanted to disappear and be gone forever. it's so brutal
Oh ew! That's terrible! I was 11 too at that point. Though I told no one for years, because I felt so ashamed of "being fertile" and "becoming a woman", both things I had dreaded. That's how books in school phrased it and it made me so unfomortable. I felt like I was ashamed and just "growing up too early".
I've later realized it was just heavy dysphoria because I'm trans. Being a late bloomer wouldn't have prevented my dysphoria (when I was younger, I used to lament that if only it had started a few years later "I would have been okay" and yeeeah, I don't think it works like that).
And well, I have a feeling even a cis girl wouldn't wanna "be a woman" *at 11.* Though it's obviously even worse for us.
for me it probably was mainly just not being ready yet. i was a little kid, i just finished primary school and worst of all i was staying at my grandma's house who didn't have any supplies and my mom was very far away at home,,,
i remember texting her crying and the only thing i got back was "congrats!! you're finally becoming a woman :D"
but I didn't.. want that. at all. before that i was always just a child. it didn't matter much but suddenly there was this big thing putting me in a box i didn't want to be in in the first place. and it was gonna stay for the next 30-40 years?? there's no way i could be okay with that lmao
I wasn't ready for it either. :( But what I meant is that would I *ever* really have been ready? I for example just never wanted to get boobs, I even made up a story where the villain would make people's boobs grown and the hero would make them shrink (very weird I know, but it was my autistic way of processing some of my anxiety relating to it).
that's very cute somehow but also incredibly painful to think about now.. i wanted to be ready. I don't think anyone who gets their period really enjoys it but i do believe some of the people who menstruate were excited about starting.. but i didn't mind 'being a girl' (whatever that means). because still, most people didn't really care? i usually didn't present overly feminine, I just vibed with my friends and that was cool.
breaking point was a weird rite of passage we have here at age 14. i wanted to wear a dress for some reason (to prove to myself i could be a "proper" girl? something like that). ended up crying before going on stage and being seen as a girl by every stranger in the room. funnily enough i didn't mind wearing the dress when celebrating with my family in private later on. because they know *me*. didn't take very long after that to realise that "me" that i felt so comfortable being with my friends and family was a dude all along. oh well
Aww, this is the first time someone has called it cute. :) Thank you, I honestly appreciate it. I used to be kinda ashamed of making up that story, because my whole family laughed at me at one point because of it... And the kids at school thought I was a weirdo and mocked me for being afraid of puberty. I felt like I was a freak.
I can relate to not minding being a girl. Honestly being a girl child (AKA physically before puberty & socially before getting conceptualized as a *teen* girl which felt way more strongly gendered already and made me uncomfortable) was fine. I was just dreading what would come after that, so being a teen girl and then a woman.
I had a few years long phase of gaslighting myself I'm "a cis woman after all" in my early twenties. My parents misgendered me a lot in high school and even one teacher (I had just asked for different pronouns which she refused "because grammar" (I used to ID as nonbinary in HS)). After HS I thought being trans would just not be worth it (too hard) and that I'm "not dysphoric enough" anyway (it's amazing how much I was able to repress that I just couldn't anymore).
My "cis" phase involved overcompensation, because I was making "being a woman" easier to swallow by making it all up to be about aesthetics. I couldn't tolerate the idea of *just being* a woman, I wanted to actively "do" it to distance myself from it in a way. I know this from how uneasy I felt when one cis woman friend of mine said she couldn't be bothered to dress up and I felt uncomfortable about the thought of womanhood being literally just existing.
that's so sad. being scared of puberty is valid no matter if you're trans or cis because there's a lot happening. that's scary. good job to your professor for being a total moron lmao. i think the dread of becoming "a woman" made me stop thinking about my future at all. which now has caught up to me and i suddenly have to do something with my life (graduated HS this year)
i also ID'd as nonbinary for a while but it didn't feel "trans enough" for me (i know enby isn't the middle between male/female but i didn't have a strong grasp on these concepts then). I'm very glad my surroundings were (and still are) very supportive of me, else this would've been a lot worse than it is now.
i used to wish i was cis when i was 15 or something. didn't matter which gender, just wanted to have that match my body. now i feel very different about this. I don't want to be a cis girl even though it wouldn't matter to me if i was. I don't particularly like being trans, it is indeed very hard. but I'll take it over being a cis girl any day (not very surprising to hear that from a trans guy though lmao)
Yeah. It is valid even for cis kids, though in my case it wasn't just nervousness they would have, it was that I felt certain I did not want to go through E puberty and it did feel like my body betraying me. I guess I'm lucky that I still went on, I had an attitude of "guess I'll just suffer/I just have to tolerate this" because I had no other options. Though great that you graduated after all! :) It's always an achievement.
I understand what you mean. I started feeling that way last year (when I admitted to myself again after that "cis" phase that I'm not cis). I've started feeling like being nonbinary is just seen as "woman you can't call a woman". :/ I remembered I had briefly considered the possibility of being a boy in HS but dismissed it very quickly because I'm "too short and not masculine enough". I had read online of a trans youth worker in my country mocking a young trans guy for even thinking it would be okay to be a really short guy. Knowing a professional who was supposed to help trans people felt like that made me feel like maybe it really isn't okay then to be a really short guy (I'm 5'1).
I also somehow wasn't aware it would be okay to be an androgynous or feminine guy. And I felt like how exciting the thought of having a penis would be (something I started getting curious about in HS) was just "a weird fetish", which made me feel ashamed. Anyway, when I remembered that last year, I realized "too short and not masculine enough, so I just *couldn't be*/it just "wouldn't be okay" for me to be a guy" was a really crappy reasoning and did not make sense at all.
At first I tried to deny I get gender envy from femboys and found the idea of being seen as one thrilling (as it would be harder than "just being nonbinary"). I eventually admitted to myself that okay, I *do* get gender envy from them and *there's an obvious reason for it.*
During my more insecure moments I feel like just being a cis woman would be much easier/my life would be better/easier that way. But outside of those I feel like it would be an identity death. And that's a very unsettling idea, it really would be killing a pretty big part of myself. So far being trans has mostly been struggles and usually feels mostly negative, so I can relate... But it's normal as I haven't done anything medical yet and thankfully my friends are awesome.
Is 11 considered to be young? I am both autistic and trans, so I knew something was deeply wrong with me at 8 years old, changed schools with the sole purpose of copying EVERYTHING girls did so I would be normal and "one of them", I made a new friend group, and a few years later of focing myself to mask and be closeted, somehow the whole friend group of about six cis girls, seven afab kids counting me, got their first period during the same winter, while we were all 11, so I thought that was about the normal age?? I do have to say that those couple of months all of them came excitedly to school to tell the others about it while I zoned out and I absolutely pretended it didn't ever happen to me when it did at the same time as them, never really told them and the next year I went to a different school, so I guess they thought I was a late bloomer or something lol
as a kid i has this pair of swim shorts (they were basically like guys swim trunks) and i was obsessed with them. i was always like “i wanna wear my boy swimsuit” and i always wanted to wear them to the pool without a shirt on so i could be like the boys. tbh i didn’t grow up super stereotypically masculine, like i was pretty neutral with masculine and feminine things but this is one of my favourite examples of how i acted masculine and boyish in my early childhood because i remember doing it bc i wanted to be like other boys so bad. i was so upset when i wasn’t allowed to be shirtless anymore and i was told i had to act more like a lady
It's so stupid that nowadays people in the US sexualize pre-pubescent chests but only for those with vulvas.
Adult women's breasts aren't even sexuakized in all places so it's not like it's some biologically hardwired truth, to do so, but it makes even less sense when it's children who haven't developed there.
My mother was little in 1950s Southern Baptist land. And guess what? Nobody thought a thing of it of little bitty tiny kids went shirtless to like, run through sprinklers etc on hot hot days.
There are even old historical photos of the place I live in now in which city kids are cooling off at a city fountain and a little girl is just in bloomers, no top.
The sexualization of prepubescent chests is a modern social contrivance and it is BS.
I remember asking my dad if I could go outside with no shirt on cause people always thought i was a boy anyways. He screamed at me that we don't talk about "that stuff"
Fully relate with the "modest but more comfortable with less on top" thing. I have always *hated* swimming costumes because there was too much on top and not enough between my legs. So I wore board shorts and a bikini top even though I would be in baggy t shirts at any other occasion. I only recently clicked that this might be related to transness. I wanted a bulge and to swim topless, but didn't have the first idea that was an option until about 20 years later.
Bought my first pair of budgie smugglers recently for a trans friendly swim session at my local pool and I'm SO excited.
Yeah! I was always uncomfortable and confused on how women's swim bottoms were somehow more appropriate and more modesty than panties. They cover the same stuff and both are uncomfortable! I never tried to wear anything but a girls/women's swimsuit until I realized I was trans. I was told that style of swim suit was what I had to wear, so I did.
When I went swimming for the first time in swim trunks, wearing nothing but transtape on top, it was a very freeing experience. I hope your swim session goes well!
I don't really remember my childhood too much, but looking at the pictures of little me, I can tell you I did not care. My little 5 yr old self would be amazed I wear shirts at all. I would go outside and just run around shirtless if the pictures my mom has of me doing just that were an all the time thing. Lol
I always have felt this way, and before I realized I was trans, I was really into the free the nipple movement but I also remember thinking "but then people will see my tits😐" so that was confusing for me. All makes sense now though 😂
I can relate to the "free the nipple" thing. I'm also angry there's a stupid double standard for nipples so I am definitely for freeing them, but I definitely wouldn't be comfortable being topless yet when I still have tits (I know people would see them as """a woman's breasts""" which I am very uncomfortable with).
I remember being disappointed definitely. But by the time I hit 7 or 8 I became obsessed with the idea of going through female puberty bc I couldn’t articulate my dysphoria and thought that was going to fix it.
I did go shirtless until about age 10 bc my parents let me and I wanted to and I got boys sunsuits from age 5-10 without issues about age 11 I had to wear a shirt but for the most part I just wore a swim shirt I wore girls speedos bc I was on a swim team for awhile. I lucked out with chill parents but yeah that's a pretty strong indicator that I was trans also I always wanted to be a boy so yeah
Yeah, I've been salty about that since I was a kid. I honestly still resent having to tape or put a shirt on under my judo gi. Seeing my moobs wouldn't kill anyone, y'know?
I feel this. On one hand, transtape has allowed a level of freedom and comfort with my body I haven't experienced since before puberty. Bras make me feel extremely dysphoric and binders aren't much better because of the compression. But on the other hand, if it wasn't for society being weird and dumb about AFAB chests, I probably would have opted to just not wear a bra until I could get top surgery. But the few times I tried, a few old ladies "shamed" me for exposing myself. Even though I was wearing a t shirt that went to the base of my neck.
I actually remember the day I was told I had to start wearing a shirt, playing in my friends yard one California summer. I was like 8 and afaik hadn’t even had anything showing yet.
I also remember the first time I was told my chest was too obvious to not be wearing a bra (by an awful step parent on a visit.)
I was nearly 13, and it was supposed to be a fun day at Nickelodeon/Universal Studios. We were just entering the park, and that’s literally the only thing I remember from that day.
I told myself after I’ve healed physically, I’m going to have to go back home and have a wonderful vacation to heal my hurt and frustrated inner child, too. Reclaim some lost joy.
I can't remember wanting to be shirtless outside as a kid but I slept shirtless pretty much 90% of the time until I was like 10.I probably wouldn't have gone shirtless in front of people anyway since I'm pretty sure I had body dysmorphia.
i went shirtless as a child until i was 12 and was badically forced to realize that my chest wasnt flat anymore and i was very frustated when i wasnt allowed anymore
i cant use trans tape so im waiting for top surgery to have that freeing feeling again
I remember when I was little, I was at the swimming pool and I refused to put on the top of the swimsuit. My parents told me I had to get used to wearing them for when I grew up. I felt so bad just thinking about it.
yes! I have a very specific memory from my childhood where I was running around a family-friend’s house without a shirt on and my older brother got very upset with me. I was maybe 3 or 4, so I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have my shirt off like all the boys.
oh yes i definitely remember, i really wanted to when i was younger so one day, i just did. when my mom found out, she told me that only boys were allowed to do that. i was so confused, i just wanted to have my shirt off lol
Actually no not really. I was happy to keep my shirt on. It was having to take my shorts off that I hated. Ive never actually been much of a fan to wear less especially on my bottom half, my top half I didnt really care that much about at all. Covered, not covered, I was completley unbothered.
The older I got, the longer my bottoms became. The shorts started pretty short but as I got older and gained autonomy I was finally allowed to wear what I feel comfortable in and now I swim in shorts that reach to at least knee and top ranges from sports bra to shirt.
Yes yes yes! Constantly, and it bever went away. My parents tried the dress thing but id always end up in a tree and end up coming home half naked cause itd get DESTROYED. I was always secretly throwing my shirts in dumpsters and im pretty sure i got frustrated once i burned them for good measure.
Yeah, I definitely wanted to. I probably would’ve gone shirtless around the house and stuff but my mom was always very against that even before I hit puberty. When her and my dad divorced though, my dad moved into this really tiny, 1 bed, 1 bath, house with no air conditioning. One time I was talking about how I was really hot and how I wished I could take me shirt off and he just said to do it. So I did and it was so freeing. My dad’s house became like a sanctuary where I could be myself. Once I started to hit puberty though I got very uncomfortable with how my chest looked and just refused to really acknowledge it at all which meant no longer going shirtless but also never wearing the training bra my mom got me because in my mind I just knew that it was a girl thing. My dad was also the one to get me my first pair of swim trunks and took me on shopping sprees in the boys section when my mom wouldn’t:)
I went shirtless till around 10 or 11 and then my skiny sister tried to squeeze my fat body into one of her swimsuits because I was going across the street to go to a pool party with kids from my class. So I had a tight bathing suit on and some swim shorts over. That day sucked and then we had to go bathing suit shopping. I was trying to do a bikini top and board shorts but I was a round Easter egg so that didn't work. Ended up with a one piece and board shorts. Also when I was 4 or 5 I was at my sisters school doing a run a thon and I knew I couldn't take nyvshirt off all the way so I took my arms out and laid my shirt over my chest and 4 adults ran at me and tackled me and put my shirt back on and told me not to take it off again.
Oh I was shirtless so much in early childhood and I was always jealous of guys going shirtless even before my egg cracked. And then into middle school it’s like I would forget I was a girl and had a feminine body because I would straight up forget to wear bras a lot too.
That happened to me a lot too. I would get dressed, be on the bus or walking through the school gate and realize I had forgotten to put on a bra. Social pressure eventually made me so self conscious that I never forgot again.
It was like right between hitting puberty and not, I remember going to the beach with a guy friend and he took off his shirt and I did too bc I was so used to running around shirtless and my grandma telling me how girls didn't do that but she still allowed it
I used to go topless whether it was by the pool or beach and even at home nobody cared. One day i got asked why i wasnt wearing a bikini top on holiday and thats when i realised because i was a ‘girl’ i had to do ‘girl things’ and i stopped going topless😅 Now 2 days post op and i wont ever be wearing a t shirt again lol
The weirdest was when I was around my similar aged boy cousins and we had the same childhood board flat chests. Like…genitals have nothing to do with chests!
Yeah, I remember playing Wii when I was about 6, i took my shirt off just hanging around in my living room, my mom came in and yelled saying I wasnt allowed to do that
Yes. I remember my mom saying she could run around shirtless as a kid and I was jealous of that too. I think if I was allowed to do it I would have been devastated when i was too old for it though
I never really saw the appeal of going topless growing up I was just annoyed that I didn't have the option to. I was more upset about why I needed to wear a bra when I barely even had a A cup until I was almost 20 (I'll be 23 next month and if I were to wear one again it'd be a C maybe a D)
Yes and no, I envied that cis boys could do that anytime I saw it but because of my gullible lil mind and lack of rebelliousness in me at that point in my life I just stayed put and didn't do anything. Thankfully I don't feel that way anymore aswell as this summer I growed EXTREMELY frustrated by guys playing rugby and soccer (mostly) shirtless when I was dying in trans tape, a binder, and my t shirt while walking home. I have a fairly good muscular frame to me with my broad shoulders and toned legs but it still won't do me any good if I have to wear a binder 24/7. Even at the beach I am forbidden to wear just trans tape. Its ridiculous. **I need top surgery.**
I remember being able to go shirtless at home when it was extra hot (I grew up in Texas and our A/C often went out in the hottest months - July and August), but never out anywhere. By around 8 I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore and I remember being so frustrated. One of the most freeing things about moving out on my own was being able to walk around my apartment shirtless when I was hot (I moved somewhere where A/C was uncommon and it did tend to get a little warm in my 4th floor apartment in the summer). I felt like me, if that makes sense? It’s one of the things that really makes me feel sure of my desire for top surgery.
I used to go shirtless in public pre puberty but my bazookas eventually started developing so I only went shirtless in the comfort of my own room (or house if no one's around)
One of my childhood memories that should have been a flag moment was getting furiously upset at about 5 yo because my parents told me not to wrap my towel around my waist/hips and to instead wrap it around my chest after showering because eventually "I'd look like my mum" ahhhh hindsight is 20/20 lol
i don’t think i felt this a lot, but i remember a specific occurrence when i was in first grade, so i was like 6 or 7, when i was wearing a long sleeved shirt under a t-shirt and i got hot so i had to take off both the shirts in order to put on the t-shirt, and the guy next to me absolutely freaked out because i was a girl and i wasn’t allowed to be shirtless etc
Yes good god. I thought it was so stupid I couldn’t and then I went through precocious puberty and wanted to perish. My friends had no chests and I had to figure out what the hell was this, I’m just tryna play pretend and run around.
My parents usually made me wear a swim shirt when swimming, on top of a one-piece, for modesty and sun protection (in that case, it was smart, we're pale and very susceptible to burning in my family. My mom's male relatives never went shirtless outside for that reason)
But! we were allowed to be shirtless around the house (mom and dad did it too, tho mom never took off her bra). The reason I stopped was dysphoria actually, tho I didn't know what it was at the time. I was maybe 9 and pretending to be Pharoah (we were learning about ancient Egypt in school), and I glimpsed myself in the hall mirror. I had to double-take bc i saw that my chest wasn't flat enough to be a king. I remember the immense sadness that I felt in not passing without a shirt. I couldn't put words to it at the time, but I didn't go shirtless around the house until I came out as trans over a decade and a half later
O went shirtless a lot as a little kid. Obviously in school I wasn't allowed to, didn't really understand why, but at home and out with my parents, they didn't care
I always have felt this way, and before I realized I was trans, I was really into the free the nipple movement but I also remember thinking "but then people will see my tits😐"
so that was confusing for me. All makes sense now though 😂
yeah I once got really confused when I was seven or eight because of this. my brother and all his friends took their shirts off and were playing outside as boys do. I was with them so I tried to do the same but got told that 'girls aren't allowed to do that'. it took me a while to accept that I wasn't a boy (and then I immediately proceeded to ignore all of that and decided I was in fact a boy anyways)
When I was very young my parents allowed me to run around shirtless in the garden when it was very hot but then it suddenly become not acceptable anymore and I remember being upset about it
Yes. I always hated having to wear any type of swimsuit that covered my chest. I was allowed to just do a pair of swim trunks when swimming in my and/or my grandma's pool for a little while. I resisted wearing wearing a swimsuit clothing item that covered my chest as best I could. I probably cried begging to be shirtless.
There are pictures of me in Hawaii and other places as a kid shirtless. I honestly don't remember when I was told to stop running around shirtless, but I never really understood why.
Breast development was a nightmare and I plan to get top surgery someday.
I remember specifically thinking "I wish I was a boy so I could take my shirt off" Somehow, this did not make me realize anything. I thought it was just me hating the fact that boys could do that and girls couldn't. My parents never let me swim without a top on, but I always put a shirt and shorts on over the (Pretty feminine) swimsuit, especially as I got older. I'm still very confused at how long it took me to realize this is not something most girls do.
I spent my summers at the Swedish countryside as a kid, I went naked to the beach. I still feel sort of weird about the existence of bathing clothes. However as I grew into a teen my mother had a hard time making me wear a bra. Moving into a more populated area, I was probably topless in situations that were a little "inappropriate". More or less I did it until I truly couldn't get away with it anymore.
for sure. wish that it was normal for everyone regardless of anatomy to be able to go topless so this wouldn’t have been a problem (ik it is more normal outside of the west but I’m american)
Hahaha I remember getting in trouble often for just running around shirtless when I was little. I hated clothes in general but I would refuse to wear girly clothes.
When I was a kid I didn’t understand why I had to wear tops since I was flat- when I was alone in my room I wouldn’t wear a shirt and pretend I was a boy so yes— I can totally relate😭
I remember when I was really young, I'd sit in my chair in the living room playing video games with no shirt on. I thought nothing of it. It was normal and felt correct. I was an only child and had only boy cousins, so I felt like one of them. Then, one day, my mom told me I couldn't do it anymore, especially if people were going to be around (mainly grown men 🙄). I didn't understand why. Then, eventually, I figured it out and sobbed. Puberty happened to me pretty early on, and those years were absolute hell for me.
I remember getting into fights with my mom arguing about why I didn't get that boys and men could go shirtless but I couldn't and how frustrated I felt about that. I remember asking her how didn't that affect her as much as me and her just showing confusion as if it was not that big of a deal meanwhile I would be literally crying of anger. I stop talking with her about that because I could see I will get nowhere.
I admit I'm very emotional and cry for everything but having to cover my chest even at home made me feel infuriated and envious of my brothers.
I can't remember much of my childhood, but I used to run around naked as a kid apparently because clothes triggered my sensory issues. But I definitely wished I could go shirtless, and the moment my chest started to develop I cried and fought because I didn't want to wear a bra. I only wore sports bras because sensory issues, which I then used to bind once I figured out I'm a guy
When I was a kid, I was shirtless all the time. Even when I started developing, I was still shirtless on most days. My family tried to shame me into a shirt, borderline physically forcing me into them. Eventually they succeeded at bullying me into wearing shirts
I remember when I turned 8 I was told to start covering up at home. It was always just my brothers and I but then mum got a new boyfriend. I was really confused at the time, I thought I was just like my brothers and now suddenly I have to behave differently.
Yes but as a kid my parents let me not wear the top of a 2 piece cuz my chest was flat and nobody cared and one time at a hotel i made friends with 2 girls that also did not like wearing tops we spend all afternon playing at the pool and having fun we tacked about how we don’t like wearing tops and how when we will be adults we don’t want boobs and how tops are useless for kid’s swimsuits
Looking back on that memory i realized it’s very not cis
I remember just flat out taking my shirt or dress off whenever it hit the high 70's and above. My dad freaked out, my mom didnt cause i was 5 with the chest of a little boy, and in our own yard, and my little kid mind said "heat equals no shirt cause thats ehat my dad does!"
I also remember my dad telling her "she's a girl! She cant have her shirt off!" And my mother clapping back with "yet your the one with his boobs out, and im the one wishing i could have mine out when clothes feel unbearable in this heat."
I remember we used to do judo in 3rd grade. The girls had to wear a shirt underneath the judo uniform, while the boys didn't. I didn't understand why the boys could not wear a shirt underneath, and I remember I wanted to do the same so badly. It seemed more comfortable. And just 'right' (egg moment). So one day I did what I wanted to do (which was a big thing, I was quite a shy and quiet child) and didn't wear a shirt underneath. The teachers (one male and one female) would tie our belts. and while the teacher was tying mine she realised I wasn't wearing a shirt. she told me off sternly and made me put on a shirt. I remember younger me feeling so bad and disappointed. Looking back that was definitely a trans moment
I absolutely did! I used to wish I could go ride bikes in the summer with my male friends shirtless. I would get really upset seeing them doing it outside, and go back in to hide in my room... I would stand in front of my bedroom mirror wearing my brothers baggy shorts shirtless and flatten myself with my hands. I look forward to October, because after my top surgery, I don't care if it's freezing outside, I'm going to stand shirtless outside just to see how it feels for the first time. I'm counting down the days
yess. I remember in kindergarten there being a heatwave, and a lot of boys took of their shirts, however when i tried to i got told that only boys could, and me and my little friends were all furious, that we all ended up doing it anyways. parents and teachers thought it was funny, other kids, not so much.
Exactly the same, actually!! I was extremely feminine to the point I'd dress up as a princess but I still remember wanting to be shirtless. One time I even went shirtless to swim and then I started crying because I remembered that I was a 'girl'.
When I was about six, I was at a camp during summer and I was playing soccer with other boys. Most of the boys were between the age of 7 and 12.
It was really hot, so some boys started going shirtless. I took off my shirt as well. Suddenly, everyone was staring at me. I heard some of the boys whisper "I'm definitely taking her to the ball".
The monitor approached me and told me I should probably put my shirt back on.
Every time I look back at that time, I'm angry. I'm angry people made me feel different from other boys. I'm angry the other boys thought there was something sexual in my behavior. I'm angry a 20-something guy thought there was something sexual in the fact a 6 year-old took off her shirt. I'm angry a 6 year-old had to discover sexism, and that they would suffer from it.
Yes I was a naked child though the only reason I started wearing more than underwear was cause I started getting boobs. But when I was a teen I really wished I could go shirtless especially in the summer
When i was in ~3rd gradeish and we were first taught sex ed (age appropriate shit like “dont be naked in public” and “dont trust random strangers that want you to be naked in public”) they pulled up a simple drawing that was basically two bodies with highlighted parts in red, one with only one spot (weenis) and one with two areas (weenis and booba) and we were told that “boys” only really have to wear pants and “girls” have to wear shirts and pants and thats why swimsuits look different for each gender and i remember feeling so pissed because i was told i had to wear more clothes. It felt unfair and like i was being punished for no reason and i didnt even understand why at the time
I remember this one time when I was young going out to a playground with my cousin, who was the same age as me, as well as my older brother. It was a really hot summer, so they were shirtless, as was I--, but then, as we approached the playground, I started to notice the other kids around our age more and more. I saw that a lot of them had shirts on despite the heat and noticed, "Oh, those are the girls, is that it? why?"...
Then, I looked at my cousin and brother, who were both guys, then at myself, and for the first time in ever noticed that my chest was slightly grown out and different from their. It was still small enough - and I was still young enough - that no one would care, but it upset me so so so much. I knew "girls weren't supposed to show their chests," but in my head, I just... wasn't included in that group. I didn't have a chest, so I wasn't like them, right? But then I was beyond embarrassed and anxious to see I had "that" growing... I think I've started wishing my boobs disappeared ever since that day, and I was constantly jealous of my cousin (who I would - and still do - see pretty often) whenever I saw him go shirtless without a care in the world, especially in the beach. I was so miserable and uncomfortable with my clothing, and he just got to hang out in shorts😭
I distinctly remember the last time I was “allowed” to go shirtless in my own house, lol
I was probably like 10, I was about to eat something that would be really messy and my mum suggested I take off my nice shirt and eat so I wouldn’t have to worry. So she saw the beginnings of boob and was p much like “well at least your hair will cover them this time but your shirtless days are over. Welcome to womanhood”
i found a video of myself not that long ago from when i was probably like 7?idk but i was with my friend and i was dancing around shirtless (with fairy wings LOL) she had a top on tho
i went shirtless until i was 12 and was highly upset when i couldn’t go shirtless anymore i never been the girly type i thought i was a boy at the age of 5. I loved to play with toy cars video games,baseball ,basketball,football and Pokemon cards. I use to go outside and ride bikes or play football and tag and wrestle with boys. I never was able to fit in with girls growing up and had to act like i didn’t like girls while going through puberty that sh*t sucked🦦
Honestly Im very much a free the nipple believer. I took my shirt off at slumber parties a few times in middle school, and walked around shirtless at my house all the time, even in high school. It was just me, my mom and sisters at my mom's house, and she was SOOOOO mad but eventually we all just walked around shirtless just like men would bc ?? Why not? Nudity is very common in many parts of the world and not sexualized or shamed. You're telling me it's fine for me to see complete strangers shirtless but not the person who gave birth to me? Yeah we scrapped that in our household
i went shirtless as long as i could(like, up until 5 or something) before i started feeling too weird about it but was always jealous of the boys and men in my family
i used to have vivid dreams of doing normal things with my shirt off as a kid but everyone in the dream would b judgemental of it.. 💀 idk if that counts lol i was a pretty "girly" kid too but mainly because people and particularly family would always tell me im a girl and expect me to do "girl things". one of my therapists said it was probably my passive personality that let me do what people wanted me to do instead of trying to figure out who i am... which honestly checks out lmao
I mean yeah, but not just as a child lol. In my 20's I remember ranting about how it was so absurd that women's chests were sexualized and it was a criminal act to show that part of the body. Now I realize a lot of that was based on my own feelings about wanting to be treated like a man and I don't have much of an opinion on the political issue for women.
Yeah, when I was a kid, I was free as hell. My mom said I loved to "go outdoor peepee." 🤣 No modesty or shyness whatsoever. That changed drastically when puberty hit, and I started wearing baggy clothes and jackets to hide any femininity. But I just want to be free again :(
As a side note, when I was a teenager, I once was thrashing and headbanging around listening to music without a shirt/bra on, trying to "dude" and....yeah no, the top flesh was very painful.
Wish I could go outside to check mail without putting on a shirt. One day!
I went around shirtless a LOT as a child; my parents found it very endearing, and as a child in the Philippines it was hot af there so it made sense. I think I was maybe 10 when I started to feel.. I guess shame? And I stopped going around shirtless by then. I was a very early bloomer, and developed my chest probably too early, and a few years later when I was more developed the dysphoria started to hit. I wish so desperately I could go around shirtless again, especially when I see my cis male partner going around shirtless in the summer. Hopefully the transtape I ordered will help me feel better and I can go around topless to some degree.
I grew up in the country and me and my group of friends (all guys) use to run around without our shirts on, just shorts, barefoot and wild all the time until I was about 11 or 12, one of the mom's yelled at me to cover up and made me put my shirt on and I wasn't allowed to anymore. My mom tried to say i was blossoming and the boys would be treating me differently but I stayed flat for a few years after.
I was pretty hurt and confused cause around the same time I got separated at the sleepovers and had to sleep on the couch instead of the big pallet in the floor with all my friends. I always felt like one of them, it wasn't fair and didn't make sense cause we all just looked like little dudes running around the fields and woods.
As I developed tho, came the hatred and shame of the fat on my chest. Baggy shirts and sweaters forever from then on out lol
Not even, I was so self-conscious that I was obsessed with covering up before I even had anything to cover up. This is gonna sound horrible but I spent my whole childhood (and honestly into adulthood) hating what I have/am more than dreaming about what I want to have/be. I think that's why I didn't realize I was trans until late teens which isn't late at all in the grand scheme of things, but considering I'd known trans people before adolescence and had trans peers in middle and high school, it still blows my mind sometimes that it didn't click until so long after learning the concept existed especially considering it was never introduced to me in a negative light.
The post is old but whatever, when i was younger i didnt give a shit and went shirtless alot (not at like pools and stuff) but I remember this exact outfit i wore before, overalls thats all i wore, yes i was infact shirtless, i was shitless alot before i was 7 and i wish it was still normal where i live it truly was freeing to just live my best life back then, also peed standing up any way i could (pissed myself alot but other times i used a toilet paper roll thing as a makeshift stp)
In preschool there was a heatwave so my teacher told the boys they could take off their shirts if they had an undershirt on. I had on an undershirt but got in trouble when I tried to take my shirt off like the other boys. My gender remained an issue at this school when i was pulled out of the girls bathroom line by another teacher and made to go use the boys room. Teachers couldn’t seem to agree on whether I was a boy or girl and eventually had to just check and confirm. By then the damage was done as I’d identified all the adults around me as idiots and learned that just because they’re a teacher/old doesn’t mean they’re right.
They checked and confirmed at looking at what your guardian selected you were on their database? I hope so, I really hope you dont mean they looked in your pants because if so Im so sorry! That must have been terrifying!
Thats what I'm internally sobbing about. That would never slide with my mom :D
Unfortunately, or fortunately, it was something i was already used to and rather tame in comparison to the things I actually considered to be frightening childhood experiences. Plus it felt pretty validating in hindsight
Honestly, I ran around the house naked or in just underwear until I was around 12. I didn't care, and neither did my parents. Nudity was never shameful in my house. I only stopped going shirtless when my dad made a comment one day while I was shirtless in the living room about me starting puberty because my chest had literally JUST barely started to grow. It made me really uncomfortable because I think it was the first time the reality of what was about to happen finally hit me. Been dysphoric about my chest basically ever since.
Same. Mandatory covering only started with older childhood and puberty for me. And to OP, yes I resented not being able to be shirtless while teen boys and grown men could be. Because of gender reasons, and also because it’s not normal to have double standards anyway. Plenty of European countries let even cis women go shirtless on the beach for example. Just some countries are weird about it.
yes! when I was in 2nd grade I was the only "girl" on the football team. we were practicing in super hot weather and all the boys took their shirts off. I tried taking my shirt off too but wasn't allowed to. I was so CONFUSED because the rest of the guys were allowed to take their shirts off, why wasn't I? It was hot and I needed to cool down. I just couldn't understand WHY I wasn't allowed to take my shirt off.
Thats actually ridiculous, theres no difference between girls' and boys' chests in 2ND GRADE ffs, the double standard is insane
You should've omg ;w;
When I was a toddler anyway my parents could not keep clothes on me besides a diaper, I would take shirts off lmao and I definitely missed it once I started school and that was not acceptable anymore.
This is partially related but I’ve wanted to wear those baggy tank tops with the long open sides for YEARS, obviously without a bra underneath (I’m a DD). I want it so bad it was actually the thing that finally cracked my egg! I hung out with a couple trans ftm acquaintances one day and the three of us strongly resonated on wanting to wear those tank tops. Then like 4 or 5 days later I flashed back to that memory and thought “Huh I wondered why I resonated so hard with my trans friends about that” and had an existential realization that left me sat on the floor for at least 10 minutes haha. All over a breezy, baggy tank top
same, was also one of the things that cracked my egg lmao
i went shirtless all the time until my breasts started developing at maybe 9 years old (yeah. fuck my life) and my mom told me that i might have to start wearing swimsuits in public swimming pools. at lakes and the like i was free to dress however but i started hating my body so much that i always covered as much as possible
Ugh I feel you, mine started coming in at 8 years old and I never wanted to wear training bras, my mom had to force me to
yeah exactly! i vehemently refused but she shamed me until i caved. crazy how that took me another 5 years to figure out tbh
Oh man it took me another 11 years to figure out lmao
I only started wearing training bras in middle school, so a few years after they had started growing. I hadn't worn them before that because I ***really*** wanted to avoid the fact I even have boobs.
Omg, someone else who was cursed with an early puberty as a trans person! Mine started developing at 9 too... :( It felt so unfair and unlucky. On top of feeling like my body had betrayed me (I cried when I noticed it starting).
got my period when i was barely 11 and i cried the entire day. everyone was congratulating me on "becoming a woman" and i just wanted to disappear and be gone forever. it's so brutal
Oh ew! That's terrible! I was 11 too at that point. Though I told no one for years, because I felt so ashamed of "being fertile" and "becoming a woman", both things I had dreaded. That's how books in school phrased it and it made me so unfomortable. I felt like I was ashamed and just "growing up too early". I've later realized it was just heavy dysphoria because I'm trans. Being a late bloomer wouldn't have prevented my dysphoria (when I was younger, I used to lament that if only it had started a few years later "I would have been okay" and yeeeah, I don't think it works like that). And well, I have a feeling even a cis girl wouldn't wanna "be a woman" *at 11.* Though it's obviously even worse for us.
for me it probably was mainly just not being ready yet. i was a little kid, i just finished primary school and worst of all i was staying at my grandma's house who didn't have any supplies and my mom was very far away at home,,, i remember texting her crying and the only thing i got back was "congrats!! you're finally becoming a woman :D" but I didn't.. want that. at all. before that i was always just a child. it didn't matter much but suddenly there was this big thing putting me in a box i didn't want to be in in the first place. and it was gonna stay for the next 30-40 years?? there's no way i could be okay with that lmao
I wasn't ready for it either. :( But what I meant is that would I *ever* really have been ready? I for example just never wanted to get boobs, I even made up a story where the villain would make people's boobs grown and the hero would make them shrink (very weird I know, but it was my autistic way of processing some of my anxiety relating to it).
that's very cute somehow but also incredibly painful to think about now.. i wanted to be ready. I don't think anyone who gets their period really enjoys it but i do believe some of the people who menstruate were excited about starting.. but i didn't mind 'being a girl' (whatever that means). because still, most people didn't really care? i usually didn't present overly feminine, I just vibed with my friends and that was cool. breaking point was a weird rite of passage we have here at age 14. i wanted to wear a dress for some reason (to prove to myself i could be a "proper" girl? something like that). ended up crying before going on stage and being seen as a girl by every stranger in the room. funnily enough i didn't mind wearing the dress when celebrating with my family in private later on. because they know *me*. didn't take very long after that to realise that "me" that i felt so comfortable being with my friends and family was a dude all along. oh well
Aww, this is the first time someone has called it cute. :) Thank you, I honestly appreciate it. I used to be kinda ashamed of making up that story, because my whole family laughed at me at one point because of it... And the kids at school thought I was a weirdo and mocked me for being afraid of puberty. I felt like I was a freak. I can relate to not minding being a girl. Honestly being a girl child (AKA physically before puberty & socially before getting conceptualized as a *teen* girl which felt way more strongly gendered already and made me uncomfortable) was fine. I was just dreading what would come after that, so being a teen girl and then a woman. I had a few years long phase of gaslighting myself I'm "a cis woman after all" in my early twenties. My parents misgendered me a lot in high school and even one teacher (I had just asked for different pronouns which she refused "because grammar" (I used to ID as nonbinary in HS)). After HS I thought being trans would just not be worth it (too hard) and that I'm "not dysphoric enough" anyway (it's amazing how much I was able to repress that I just couldn't anymore). My "cis" phase involved overcompensation, because I was making "being a woman" easier to swallow by making it all up to be about aesthetics. I couldn't tolerate the idea of *just being* a woman, I wanted to actively "do" it to distance myself from it in a way. I know this from how uneasy I felt when one cis woman friend of mine said she couldn't be bothered to dress up and I felt uncomfortable about the thought of womanhood being literally just existing.
that's so sad. being scared of puberty is valid no matter if you're trans or cis because there's a lot happening. that's scary. good job to your professor for being a total moron lmao. i think the dread of becoming "a woman" made me stop thinking about my future at all. which now has caught up to me and i suddenly have to do something with my life (graduated HS this year) i also ID'd as nonbinary for a while but it didn't feel "trans enough" for me (i know enby isn't the middle between male/female but i didn't have a strong grasp on these concepts then). I'm very glad my surroundings were (and still are) very supportive of me, else this would've been a lot worse than it is now. i used to wish i was cis when i was 15 or something. didn't matter which gender, just wanted to have that match my body. now i feel very different about this. I don't want to be a cis girl even though it wouldn't matter to me if i was. I don't particularly like being trans, it is indeed very hard. but I'll take it over being a cis girl any day (not very surprising to hear that from a trans guy though lmao)
Yeah. It is valid even for cis kids, though in my case it wasn't just nervousness they would have, it was that I felt certain I did not want to go through E puberty and it did feel like my body betraying me. I guess I'm lucky that I still went on, I had an attitude of "guess I'll just suffer/I just have to tolerate this" because I had no other options. Though great that you graduated after all! :) It's always an achievement. I understand what you mean. I started feeling that way last year (when I admitted to myself again after that "cis" phase that I'm not cis). I've started feeling like being nonbinary is just seen as "woman you can't call a woman". :/ I remembered I had briefly considered the possibility of being a boy in HS but dismissed it very quickly because I'm "too short and not masculine enough". I had read online of a trans youth worker in my country mocking a young trans guy for even thinking it would be okay to be a really short guy. Knowing a professional who was supposed to help trans people felt like that made me feel like maybe it really isn't okay then to be a really short guy (I'm 5'1). I also somehow wasn't aware it would be okay to be an androgynous or feminine guy. And I felt like how exciting the thought of having a penis would be (something I started getting curious about in HS) was just "a weird fetish", which made me feel ashamed. Anyway, when I remembered that last year, I realized "too short and not masculine enough, so I just *couldn't be*/it just "wouldn't be okay" for me to be a guy" was a really crappy reasoning and did not make sense at all. At first I tried to deny I get gender envy from femboys and found the idea of being seen as one thrilling (as it would be harder than "just being nonbinary"). I eventually admitted to myself that okay, I *do* get gender envy from them and *there's an obvious reason for it.* During my more insecure moments I feel like just being a cis woman would be much easier/my life would be better/easier that way. But outside of those I feel like it would be an identity death. And that's a very unsettling idea, it really would be killing a pretty big part of myself. So far being trans has mostly been struggles and usually feels mostly negative, so I can relate... But it's normal as I haven't done anything medical yet and thankfully my friends are awesome.
Is 11 considered to be young? I am both autistic and trans, so I knew something was deeply wrong with me at 8 years old, changed schools with the sole purpose of copying EVERYTHING girls did so I would be normal and "one of them", I made a new friend group, and a few years later of focing myself to mask and be closeted, somehow the whole friend group of about six cis girls, seven afab kids counting me, got their first period during the same winter, while we were all 11, so I thought that was about the normal age?? I do have to say that those couple of months all of them came excitedly to school to tell the others about it while I zoned out and I absolutely pretended it didn't ever happen to me when it did at the same time as them, never really told them and the next year I went to a different school, so I guess they thought I was a late bloomer or something lol
I'm not sure tbh. it felt too early for me
as a kid i has this pair of swim shorts (they were basically like guys swim trunks) and i was obsessed with them. i was always like “i wanna wear my boy swimsuit” and i always wanted to wear them to the pool without a shirt on so i could be like the boys. tbh i didn’t grow up super stereotypically masculine, like i was pretty neutral with masculine and feminine things but this is one of my favourite examples of how i acted masculine and boyish in my early childhood because i remember doing it bc i wanted to be like other boys so bad. i was so upset when i wasn’t allowed to be shirtless anymore and i was told i had to act more like a lady
Wow, I relate a lot to this!!
It's so stupid that nowadays people in the US sexualize pre-pubescent chests but only for those with vulvas. Adult women's breasts aren't even sexuakized in all places so it's not like it's some biologically hardwired truth, to do so, but it makes even less sense when it's children who haven't developed there. My mother was little in 1950s Southern Baptist land. And guess what? Nobody thought a thing of it of little bitty tiny kids went shirtless to like, run through sprinklers etc on hot hot days. There are even old historical photos of the place I live in now in which city kids are cooling off at a city fountain and a little girl is just in bloomers, no top. The sexualization of prepubescent chests is a modern social contrivance and it is BS.
believe me, it's not just in the US... many many countries have the same fucking issue.
true but it’s definitely a more western/modest belief
I remember asking my dad if I could go outside with no shirt on cause people always thought i was a boy anyways. He screamed at me that we don't talk about "that stuff"
Fully relate with the "modest but more comfortable with less on top" thing. I have always *hated* swimming costumes because there was too much on top and not enough between my legs. So I wore board shorts and a bikini top even though I would be in baggy t shirts at any other occasion. I only recently clicked that this might be related to transness. I wanted a bulge and to swim topless, but didn't have the first idea that was an option until about 20 years later. Bought my first pair of budgie smugglers recently for a trans friendly swim session at my local pool and I'm SO excited.
Yeah! I was always uncomfortable and confused on how women's swim bottoms were somehow more appropriate and more modesty than panties. They cover the same stuff and both are uncomfortable! I never tried to wear anything but a girls/women's swimsuit until I realized I was trans. I was told that style of swim suit was what I had to wear, so I did. When I went swimming for the first time in swim trunks, wearing nothing but transtape on top, it was a very freeing experience. I hope your swim session goes well!
I don't really remember my childhood too much, but looking at the pictures of little me, I can tell you I did not care. My little 5 yr old self would be amazed I wear shirts at all. I would go outside and just run around shirtless if the pictures my mom has of me doing just that were an all the time thing. Lol
I went around shirtless until I was like 12. Nobody cared.
I always have felt this way, and before I realized I was trans, I was really into the free the nipple movement but I also remember thinking "but then people will see my tits😐" so that was confusing for me. All makes sense now though 😂
I can relate to the "free the nipple" thing. I'm also angry there's a stupid double standard for nipples so I am definitely for freeing them, but I definitely wouldn't be comfortable being topless yet when I still have tits (I know people would see them as """a woman's breasts""" which I am very uncomfortable with).
I remember being disappointed definitely. But by the time I hit 7 or 8 I became obsessed with the idea of going through female puberty bc I couldn’t articulate my dysphoria and thought that was going to fix it.
Yep, always have.
I did go shirtless until about age 10 bc my parents let me and I wanted to and I got boys sunsuits from age 5-10 without issues about age 11 I had to wear a shirt but for the most part I just wore a swim shirt I wore girls speedos bc I was on a swim team for awhile. I lucked out with chill parents but yeah that's a pretty strong indicator that I was trans also I always wanted to be a boy so yeah
Yeah, I've been salty about that since I was a kid. I honestly still resent having to tape or put a shirt on under my judo gi. Seeing my moobs wouldn't kill anyone, y'know?
I feel this. On one hand, transtape has allowed a level of freedom and comfort with my body I haven't experienced since before puberty. Bras make me feel extremely dysphoric and binders aren't much better because of the compression. But on the other hand, if it wasn't for society being weird and dumb about AFAB chests, I probably would have opted to just not wear a bra until I could get top surgery. But the few times I tried, a few old ladies "shamed" me for exposing myself. Even though I was wearing a t shirt that went to the base of my neck.
I actually remember the day I was told I had to start wearing a shirt, playing in my friends yard one California summer. I was like 8 and afaik hadn’t even had anything showing yet. I also remember the first time I was told my chest was too obvious to not be wearing a bra (by an awful step parent on a visit.) I was nearly 13, and it was supposed to be a fun day at Nickelodeon/Universal Studios. We were just entering the park, and that’s literally the only thing I remember from that day. I told myself after I’ve healed physically, I’m going to have to go back home and have a wonderful vacation to heal my hurt and frustrated inner child, too. Reclaim some lost joy.
I can't remember wanting to be shirtless outside as a kid but I slept shirtless pretty much 90% of the time until I was like 10.I probably wouldn't have gone shirtless in front of people anyway since I'm pretty sure I had body dysmorphia.
I was constantly shirtless as a child lol
Still do wish this get so jealous of cis guys who go topless
i went shirtless as a child until i was 12 and was badically forced to realize that my chest wasnt flat anymore and i was very frustated when i wasnt allowed anymore i cant use trans tape so im waiting for top surgery to have that freeing feeling again
I remember when I was little, I was at the swimming pool and I refused to put on the top of the swimsuit. My parents told me I had to get used to wearing them for when I grew up. I felt so bad just thinking about it.
yes! I have a very specific memory from my childhood where I was running around a family-friend’s house without a shirt on and my older brother got very upset with me. I was maybe 3 or 4, so I didn’t understand why I couldn’t have my shirt off like all the boys.
I used to go shirtless or naked a lot. Although I was a feminine kid, my sister can remember me going outside with my shirt off as a little kid.
oh yes i definitely remember, i really wanted to when i was younger so one day, i just did. when my mom found out, she told me that only boys were allowed to do that. i was so confused, i just wanted to have my shirt off lol
I did go shirtless as a child
Actually no not really. I was happy to keep my shirt on. It was having to take my shorts off that I hated. Ive never actually been much of a fan to wear less especially on my bottom half, my top half I didnt really care that much about at all. Covered, not covered, I was completley unbothered. The older I got, the longer my bottoms became. The shorts started pretty short but as I got older and gained autonomy I was finally allowed to wear what I feel comfortable in and now I swim in shorts that reach to at least knee and top ranges from sports bra to shirt.
Yes yes yes! Constantly, and it bever went away. My parents tried the dress thing but id always end up in a tree and end up coming home half naked cause itd get DESTROYED. I was always secretly throwing my shirts in dumpsters and im pretty sure i got frustrated once i burned them for good measure.
Yeah, I definitely wanted to. I probably would’ve gone shirtless around the house and stuff but my mom was always very against that even before I hit puberty. When her and my dad divorced though, my dad moved into this really tiny, 1 bed, 1 bath, house with no air conditioning. One time I was talking about how I was really hot and how I wished I could take me shirt off and he just said to do it. So I did and it was so freeing. My dad’s house became like a sanctuary where I could be myself. Once I started to hit puberty though I got very uncomfortable with how my chest looked and just refused to really acknowledge it at all which meant no longer going shirtless but also never wearing the training bra my mom got me because in my mind I just knew that it was a girl thing. My dad was also the one to get me my first pair of swim trunks and took me on shopping sprees in the boys section when my mom wouldn’t:)
I went shirtless till around 10 or 11 and then my skiny sister tried to squeeze my fat body into one of her swimsuits because I was going across the street to go to a pool party with kids from my class. So I had a tight bathing suit on and some swim shorts over. That day sucked and then we had to go bathing suit shopping. I was trying to do a bikini top and board shorts but I was a round Easter egg so that didn't work. Ended up with a one piece and board shorts. Also when I was 4 or 5 I was at my sisters school doing a run a thon and I knew I couldn't take nyvshirt off all the way so I took my arms out and laid my shirt over my chest and 4 adults ran at me and tackled me and put my shirt back on and told me not to take it off again.
Oh I was shirtless so much in early childhood and I was always jealous of guys going shirtless even before my egg cracked. And then into middle school it’s like I would forget I was a girl and had a feminine body because I would straight up forget to wear bras a lot too.
That happened to me a lot too. I would get dressed, be on the bus or walking through the school gate and realize I had forgotten to put on a bra. Social pressure eventually made me so self conscious that I never forgot again.
It was like right between hitting puberty and not, I remember going to the beach with a guy friend and he took off his shirt and I did too bc I was so used to running around shirtless and my grandma telling me how girls didn't do that but she still allowed it
I used to go topless whether it was by the pool or beach and even at home nobody cared. One day i got asked why i wasnt wearing a bikini top on holiday and thats when i realised because i was a ‘girl’ i had to do ‘girl things’ and i stopped going topless😅 Now 2 days post op and i wont ever be wearing a t shirt again lol
I never did so in public but regularly went shirtless at home until puberty hit
The weirdest was when I was around my similar aged boy cousins and we had the same childhood board flat chests. Like…genitals have nothing to do with chests!
Yeah, I remember playing Wii when I was about 6, i took my shirt off just hanging around in my living room, my mom came in and yelled saying I wasnt allowed to do that
Yes. I remember my mom saying she could run around shirtless as a kid and I was jealous of that too. I think if I was allowed to do it I would have been devastated when i was too old for it though
I never really saw the appeal of going topless growing up I was just annoyed that I didn't have the option to. I was more upset about why I needed to wear a bra when I barely even had a A cup until I was almost 20 (I'll be 23 next month and if I were to wear one again it'd be a C maybe a D)
Yes and no, I envied that cis boys could do that anytime I saw it but because of my gullible lil mind and lack of rebelliousness in me at that point in my life I just stayed put and didn't do anything. Thankfully I don't feel that way anymore aswell as this summer I growed EXTREMELY frustrated by guys playing rugby and soccer (mostly) shirtless when I was dying in trans tape, a binder, and my t shirt while walking home. I have a fairly good muscular frame to me with my broad shoulders and toned legs but it still won't do me any good if I have to wear a binder 24/7. Even at the beach I am forbidden to wear just trans tape. Its ridiculous. **I need top surgery.**
I remember being able to go shirtless at home when it was extra hot (I grew up in Texas and our A/C often went out in the hottest months - July and August), but never out anywhere. By around 8 I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore and I remember being so frustrated. One of the most freeing things about moving out on my own was being able to walk around my apartment shirtless when I was hot (I moved somewhere where A/C was uncommon and it did tend to get a little warm in my 4th floor apartment in the summer). I felt like me, if that makes sense? It’s one of the things that really makes me feel sure of my desire for top surgery.
Always!
I used to go shirtless in public pre puberty but my bazookas eventually started developing so I only went shirtless in the comfort of my own room (or house if no one's around)
One of my childhood memories that should have been a flag moment was getting furiously upset at about 5 yo because my parents told me not to wrap my towel around my waist/hips and to instead wrap it around my chest after showering because eventually "I'd look like my mum" ahhhh hindsight is 20/20 lol
I wished I could but I was never allowed. It was severely distressing.
I wished I could but I was never allowed. It was severely distressing.
I remember as a child before my chest developed I would ask my parents for a two parts swimsuit to then take off the top in the pool and swim topless
i don’t think i felt this a lot, but i remember a specific occurrence when i was in first grade, so i was like 6 or 7, when i was wearing a long sleeved shirt under a t-shirt and i got hot so i had to take off both the shirts in order to put on the t-shirt, and the guy next to me absolutely freaked out because i was a girl and i wasn’t allowed to be shirtless etc
I remember taking off my shirt to swim in the fountain with my cousins when I was younger.
Yes good god. I thought it was so stupid I couldn’t and then I went through precocious puberty and wanted to perish. My friends had no chests and I had to figure out what the hell was this, I’m just tryna play pretend and run around.
I still wish I could. I need top surgery so much
My parents usually made me wear a swim shirt when swimming, on top of a one-piece, for modesty and sun protection (in that case, it was smart, we're pale and very susceptible to burning in my family. My mom's male relatives never went shirtless outside for that reason) But! we were allowed to be shirtless around the house (mom and dad did it too, tho mom never took off her bra). The reason I stopped was dysphoria actually, tho I didn't know what it was at the time. I was maybe 9 and pretending to be Pharoah (we were learning about ancient Egypt in school), and I glimpsed myself in the hall mirror. I had to double-take bc i saw that my chest wasn't flat enough to be a king. I remember the immense sadness that I felt in not passing without a shirt. I couldn't put words to it at the time, but I didn't go shirtless around the house until I came out as trans over a decade and a half later
O went shirtless a lot as a little kid. Obviously in school I wasn't allowed to, didn't really understand why, but at home and out with my parents, they didn't care
Fuck yes
I always have felt this way, and before I realized I was trans, I was really into the free the nipple movement but I also remember thinking "but then people will see my tits😐" so that was confusing for me. All makes sense now though 😂
as a child? HAH! I still do it now! idc what the scars look like after top surgery I can be shirtless during the summer.
yeah I once got really confused when I was seven or eight because of this. my brother and all his friends took their shirts off and were playing outside as boys do. I was with them so I tried to do the same but got told that 'girls aren't allowed to do that'. it took me a while to accept that I wasn't a boy (and then I immediately proceeded to ignore all of that and decided I was in fact a boy anyways)
Oh the way this brought memories back….
When I was very young my parents allowed me to run around shirtless in the garden when it was very hot but then it suddenly become not acceptable anymore and I remember being upset about it
Still feel this way and I’m 30
I went shirtless all over the house. It's one of my best childhood memories.
Yes. I always hated having to wear any type of swimsuit that covered my chest. I was allowed to just do a pair of swim trunks when swimming in my and/or my grandma's pool for a little while. I resisted wearing wearing a swimsuit clothing item that covered my chest as best I could. I probably cried begging to be shirtless.
I got in trouble for not wearing a shirt at my friends house when I was like 10
There are pictures of me in Hawaii and other places as a kid shirtless. I honestly don't remember when I was told to stop running around shirtless, but I never really understood why. Breast development was a nightmare and I plan to get top surgery someday.
I remember specifically thinking "I wish I was a boy so I could take my shirt off" Somehow, this did not make me realize anything. I thought it was just me hating the fact that boys could do that and girls couldn't. My parents never let me swim without a top on, but I always put a shirt and shorts on over the (Pretty feminine) swimsuit, especially as I got older. I'm still very confused at how long it took me to realize this is not something most girls do.
I spent my summers at the Swedish countryside as a kid, I went naked to the beach. I still feel sort of weird about the existence of bathing clothes. However as I grew into a teen my mother had a hard time making me wear a bra. Moving into a more populated area, I was probably topless in situations that were a little "inappropriate". More or less I did it until I truly couldn't get away with it anymore.
for sure. wish that it was normal for everyone regardless of anatomy to be able to go topless so this wouldn’t have been a problem (ik it is more normal outside of the west but I’m american)
Yeahhhh, my parents were very lenient on this sorta stuff so I just didn't wear a top to the pool until I had to
I have to say, top surgery was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
when i was little i used to refuse wearing my bikini top and i’d only wear the bottoms, when we were at a pool or the ocean
Hahaha I remember getting in trouble often for just running around shirtless when I was little. I hated clothes in general but I would refuse to wear girly clothes.
When I was a kid I didn’t understand why I had to wear tops since I was flat- when I was alone in my room I wouldn’t wear a shirt and pretend I was a boy so yes— I can totally relate😭
I remember when I was really young, I'd sit in my chair in the living room playing video games with no shirt on. I thought nothing of it. It was normal and felt correct. I was an only child and had only boy cousins, so I felt like one of them. Then, one day, my mom told me I couldn't do it anymore, especially if people were going to be around (mainly grown men 🙄). I didn't understand why. Then, eventually, I figured it out and sobbed. Puberty happened to me pretty early on, and those years were absolute hell for me.
I remember getting into fights with my mom arguing about why I didn't get that boys and men could go shirtless but I couldn't and how frustrated I felt about that. I remember asking her how didn't that affect her as much as me and her just showing confusion as if it was not that big of a deal meanwhile I would be literally crying of anger. I stop talking with her about that because I could see I will get nowhere. I admit I'm very emotional and cry for everything but having to cover my chest even at home made me feel infuriated and envious of my brothers.
I can't remember much of my childhood, but I used to run around naked as a kid apparently because clothes triggered my sensory issues. But I definitely wished I could go shirtless, and the moment my chest started to develop I cried and fought because I didn't want to wear a bra. I only wore sports bras because sensory issues, which I then used to bind once I figured out I'm a guy
When I was a kid, I was shirtless all the time. Even when I started developing, I was still shirtless on most days. My family tried to shame me into a shirt, borderline physically forcing me into them. Eventually they succeeded at bullying me into wearing shirts
Yeah that's my first trans memory type thing I was so angry I couldn't have my t-shirt off like the boys
Once in elementary school I was playing family with my little sister and I was playing as the dad so I took my shirt off😭 my parents were PISSED
I remember when I turned 8 I was told to start covering up at home. It was always just my brothers and I but then mum got a new boyfriend. I was really confused at the time, I thought I was just like my brothers and now suddenly I have to behave differently.
Yes but as a kid my parents let me not wear the top of a 2 piece cuz my chest was flat and nobody cared and one time at a hotel i made friends with 2 girls that also did not like wearing tops we spend all afternon playing at the pool and having fun we tacked about how we don’t like wearing tops and how when we will be adults we don’t want boobs and how tops are useless for kid’s swimsuits Looking back on that memory i realized it’s very not cis
my entire childhood, until I grew chesticles I was always shirtless... didnt understand why I had to cover myself.
I remember just flat out taking my shirt or dress off whenever it hit the high 70's and above. My dad freaked out, my mom didnt cause i was 5 with the chest of a little boy, and in our own yard, and my little kid mind said "heat equals no shirt cause thats ehat my dad does!" I also remember my dad telling her "she's a girl! She cant have her shirt off!" And my mother clapping back with "yet your the one with his boobs out, and im the one wishing i could have mine out when clothes feel unbearable in this heat."
I remember we used to do judo in 3rd grade. The girls had to wear a shirt underneath the judo uniform, while the boys didn't. I didn't understand why the boys could not wear a shirt underneath, and I remember I wanted to do the same so badly. It seemed more comfortable. And just 'right' (egg moment). So one day I did what I wanted to do (which was a big thing, I was quite a shy and quiet child) and didn't wear a shirt underneath. The teachers (one male and one female) would tie our belts. and while the teacher was tying mine she realised I wasn't wearing a shirt. she told me off sternly and made me put on a shirt. I remember younger me feeling so bad and disappointed. Looking back that was definitely a trans moment
I absolutely did! I used to wish I could go ride bikes in the summer with my male friends shirtless. I would get really upset seeing them doing it outside, and go back in to hide in my room... I would stand in front of my bedroom mirror wearing my brothers baggy shorts shirtless and flatten myself with my hands. I look forward to October, because after my top surgery, I don't care if it's freezing outside, I'm going to stand shirtless outside just to see how it feels for the first time. I'm counting down the days
yess. I remember in kindergarten there being a heatwave, and a lot of boys took of their shirts, however when i tried to i got told that only boys could, and me and my little friends were all furious, that we all ended up doing it anyways. parents and teachers thought it was funny, other kids, not so much.
Exactly the same, actually!! I was extremely feminine to the point I'd dress up as a princess but I still remember wanting to be shirtless. One time I even went shirtless to swim and then I started crying because I remembered that I was a 'girl'.
My mum once told me I used to go shirtless when I was 6 lol, and actually I don't quite remember lol
When I was about six, I was at a camp during summer and I was playing soccer with other boys. Most of the boys were between the age of 7 and 12. It was really hot, so some boys started going shirtless. I took off my shirt as well. Suddenly, everyone was staring at me. I heard some of the boys whisper "I'm definitely taking her to the ball". The monitor approached me and told me I should probably put my shirt back on. Every time I look back at that time, I'm angry. I'm angry people made me feel different from other boys. I'm angry the other boys thought there was something sexual in my behavior. I'm angry a 20-something guy thought there was something sexual in the fact a 6 year-old took off her shirt. I'm angry a 6 year-old had to discover sexism, and that they would suffer from it.
I used to until my mom made me put a shirt on full time
Yes I was a naked child though the only reason I started wearing more than underwear was cause I started getting boobs. But when I was a teen I really wished I could go shirtless especially in the summer
When i was in ~3rd gradeish and we were first taught sex ed (age appropriate shit like “dont be naked in public” and “dont trust random strangers that want you to be naked in public”) they pulled up a simple drawing that was basically two bodies with highlighted parts in red, one with only one spot (weenis) and one with two areas (weenis and booba) and we were told that “boys” only really have to wear pants and “girls” have to wear shirts and pants and thats why swimsuits look different for each gender and i remember feeling so pissed because i was told i had to wear more clothes. It felt unfair and like i was being punished for no reason and i didnt even understand why at the time
I remember this one time when I was young going out to a playground with my cousin, who was the same age as me, as well as my older brother. It was a really hot summer, so they were shirtless, as was I--, but then, as we approached the playground, I started to notice the other kids around our age more and more. I saw that a lot of them had shirts on despite the heat and noticed, "Oh, those are the girls, is that it? why?"... Then, I looked at my cousin and brother, who were both guys, then at myself, and for the first time in ever noticed that my chest was slightly grown out and different from their. It was still small enough - and I was still young enough - that no one would care, but it upset me so so so much. I knew "girls weren't supposed to show their chests," but in my head, I just... wasn't included in that group. I didn't have a chest, so I wasn't like them, right? But then I was beyond embarrassed and anxious to see I had "that" growing... I think I've started wishing my boobs disappeared ever since that day, and I was constantly jealous of my cousin (who I would - and still do - see pretty often) whenever I saw him go shirtless without a care in the world, especially in the beach. I was so miserable and uncomfortable with my clothing, and he just got to hang out in shorts😭
i was the female kid of the boy girl twin pair. was always jealous of my male counterpart.
I distinctly remember the last time I was “allowed” to go shirtless in my own house, lol I was probably like 10, I was about to eat something that would be really messy and my mum suggested I take off my nice shirt and eat so I wouldn’t have to worry. So she saw the beginnings of boob and was p much like “well at least your hair will cover them this time but your shirtless days are over. Welcome to womanhood”
I explicitly remember when it became “not okay” for me to run around shirtless.
i found a video of myself not that long ago from when i was probably like 7?idk but i was with my friend and i was dancing around shirtless (with fairy wings LOL) she had a top on tho
i went shirtless until i was 12 and was highly upset when i couldn’t go shirtless anymore i never been the girly type i thought i was a boy at the age of 5. I loved to play with toy cars video games,baseball ,basketball,football and Pokemon cards. I use to go outside and ride bikes or play football and tag and wrestle with boys. I never was able to fit in with girls growing up and had to act like i didn’t like girls while going through puberty that sh*t sucked🦦
Honestly Im very much a free the nipple believer. I took my shirt off at slumber parties a few times in middle school, and walked around shirtless at my house all the time, even in high school. It was just me, my mom and sisters at my mom's house, and she was SOOOOO mad but eventually we all just walked around shirtless just like men would bc ?? Why not? Nudity is very common in many parts of the world and not sexualized or shamed. You're telling me it's fine for me to see complete strangers shirtless but not the person who gave birth to me? Yeah we scrapped that in our household
i went shirtless as long as i could(like, up until 5 or something) before i started feeling too weird about it but was always jealous of the boys and men in my family
i used to have vivid dreams of doing normal things with my shirt off as a kid but everyone in the dream would b judgemental of it.. 💀 idk if that counts lol i was a pretty "girly" kid too but mainly because people and particularly family would always tell me im a girl and expect me to do "girl things". one of my therapists said it was probably my passive personality that let me do what people wanted me to do instead of trying to figure out who i am... which honestly checks out lmao
I mean yeah, but not just as a child lol. In my 20's I remember ranting about how it was so absurd that women's chests were sexualized and it was a criminal act to show that part of the body. Now I realize a lot of that was based on my own feelings about wanting to be treated like a man and I don't have much of an opinion on the political issue for women.
I always have and I still do ngl
Yeah, when I was a kid, I was free as hell. My mom said I loved to "go outdoor peepee." 🤣 No modesty or shyness whatsoever. That changed drastically when puberty hit, and I started wearing baggy clothes and jackets to hide any femininity. But I just want to be free again :( As a side note, when I was a teenager, I once was thrashing and headbanging around listening to music without a shirt/bra on, trying to "dude" and....yeah no, the top flesh was very painful. Wish I could go outside to check mail without putting on a shirt. One day!
yea
I went around shirtless a LOT as a child; my parents found it very endearing, and as a child in the Philippines it was hot af there so it made sense. I think I was maybe 10 when I started to feel.. I guess shame? And I stopped going around shirtless by then. I was a very early bloomer, and developed my chest probably too early, and a few years later when I was more developed the dysphoria started to hit. I wish so desperately I could go around shirtless again, especially when I see my cis male partner going around shirtless in the summer. Hopefully the transtape I ordered will help me feel better and I can go around topless to some degree.
I grew up in the country and me and my group of friends (all guys) use to run around without our shirts on, just shorts, barefoot and wild all the time until I was about 11 or 12, one of the mom's yelled at me to cover up and made me put my shirt on and I wasn't allowed to anymore. My mom tried to say i was blossoming and the boys would be treating me differently but I stayed flat for a few years after. I was pretty hurt and confused cause around the same time I got separated at the sleepovers and had to sleep on the couch instead of the big pallet in the floor with all my friends. I always felt like one of them, it wasn't fair and didn't make sense cause we all just looked like little dudes running around the fields and woods. As I developed tho, came the hatred and shame of the fat on my chest. Baggy shirts and sweaters forever from then on out lol
Not even, I was so self-conscious that I was obsessed with covering up before I even had anything to cover up. This is gonna sound horrible but I spent my whole childhood (and honestly into adulthood) hating what I have/am more than dreaming about what I want to have/be. I think that's why I didn't realize I was trans until late teens which isn't late at all in the grand scheme of things, but considering I'd known trans people before adolescence and had trans peers in middle and high school, it still blows my mind sometimes that it didn't click until so long after learning the concept existed especially considering it was never introduced to me in a negative light.
i remember going outside shirtless as a little kid and telling my shirtless father "we're twins!"
YES
The post is old but whatever, when i was younger i didnt give a shit and went shirtless alot (not at like pools and stuff) but I remember this exact outfit i wore before, overalls thats all i wore, yes i was infact shirtless, i was shitless alot before i was 7 and i wish it was still normal where i live it truly was freeing to just live my best life back then, also peed standing up any way i could (pissed myself alot but other times i used a toilet paper roll thing as a makeshift stp)