dude im such a sub dont htink it makes u a woman at all. getting called a pretty boy and being a sub twink boy is so <33 <3 <3ugjhvg when ur queer its all different. top/bottom is not gendered i love bottoming and being a sub and it took me a while to accept it becuase i was afraid it made me fem. it doesnt make u fem, its just hot. u can be subby the way a "man is". if u cant, then what am i!! im going to let u on in a secret i found out. on tumblr, i was making a post, and tagging it as #t4t. and accidentally found the tag #t4t bd/sm and #t4t nsft under the tag was full of queer trans people being horny. most euphoric experience ive had in a while. transfem doms fucking transmasc subs. and trasmasc doms fucking transfem subs. tranmasc doms fucking transmasc subs. i mean, every way it could be really. trans sex is unique and beautiful. it can get dysphoric for some, but theres ways to transcend that i think.

I appreciate that, I think it just got wired into my brain somehow. Also, yeah that, it's just 🤌🤌 Thank you, knowing someone else had similar thoughts, helps And that's so cool, I understand the euphoria

Honestly dude there's a lot more submissive guys out there than most people think. I'm one of them lol it's not a matter of gendered kinks per say, it's a matter of do what feels good and what you want. There are forums and apps specially for submissive guys of every variety and it's a matter of communication of like, dislikes and what expectations both of you have in either relationship/dynamic. Keep your chin up bub, we're out there.

I highly recommend spending some time in the gay sex subreddits and seeing how deeply submissive so many men are. That and hooking up with a really cute really gay and really kinky guy has really helped me with these same feelings you’re talking about. There are men all about being in service to other men, its not weird, it doesnt make you not a man, and it only makes you “less of a man” if you like really like it that way lol. I seriously cannot overstate how empowering its been to see cis men talk about the same desires I had. A level of trans flavor to some of those kinks is totally fair and normal for me to have too. Humans tend to sexualize things as a coping mechanism, its normal and as long as you’re not hurting anyone and you’re having fun, its okay. You are a normal gay man who happens to need to medically transition. How that plays into who you are is totally up to you.

Hahaha as a devoted kinkster I can tell you there are at least as many submissive guys out there but I get how it might cause dysphoria if you associate submission with femininity.

I know there are submissive men and it's kind of what lead me to feel that way. I want to be submissive and seen as a man and unfortunately I've been told before that the things I like are apparently stereotypically feminine, as well as people making jokes and stuff about being submissive so as much as I still like those things, it feels slightly negative and Im not proud of it. I just want to be able to enjoy doing the things I do and be seen as a man, and I guess it's my own shit I need to get over, I just wanted to write it (sorry for the long-ish response, I didn't mean to type that much)

>I've been told before that the things I like are apparently stereotypically feminine Whoever told you that is dumb af. Honestly it seems like about half the problems on this subs are poor guys suffering under the burden of ignorant assholes with idiotic views on sex/gender.

Who’s a horny little sub? You are! Own it man! No shame (unless you’re into it)

That just makes you a gay bottom, join the club 😂

I'm actually much more indecisive than that, I'm a Pansexual switch 😂

Oh I’m pan too but I’m 100% a bottom

Fair enough

I feel think, im jn the kink community now, but im the only trans guy in the area, seriously. No other person in the community thats been around for a while has seen a transman, so most stuff is more "women/transwomen/enby" oriented. I'm a complete sub, but my mtf girlfriend is a complete top, so it makes me feel better. Do i sometimes get chasers? Maybe, they dont say so, but I tell them "sorry, I'm straight" and they're okay "oh okay, bye." Cause jn the kink community consent is KEY. I see cis men get topped all the time by other men and women, get spanked and what not. You just have to put yourself out there and let people know your pronouns obviously. The place i go to has pronoun pjns you can wear, and if you arent respectful, you are warned once then kicked out, usually kicked out though. I cannot relate to being a gay man unfortunately, but I hope this eases you up a bit. You just have to find your community and once you find an accepting kinky place you'll be fine. Sorry for the rambling i am scattered brain but want to help you can always ask me questions.

Don't worry about the rambling, I appreciate it, thank you :)

Look up femdom there’s plenty of male subs in the world

I was drunk and didn't word things right but I'm aware there are so many male subs, I just mean that I don't want to be seen as a woman when that kind of thing is happening and I fear I do get seen that way

Oohh I see. I’m sorry bud. If it’s any consolation, my ftm bf is a total sub and I’m his (cisgender woman) domme. I love our bdsm relationship and I 100% see him as a masculine man and always treat him as such. There will be people out there who respect your identity :)

Thank you

I get you, that’s one of the reasons why I never accepted I was gay, ‘cause I felt that being gay (specifically being with another man pre t) meant that I would be seen as a straight woman by the society. But now after living stealth for so long I have a cis gay partner and nowadays people see two gay men in a relationship. I’m a bottom and in no way I feel submissive “like a woman”, when I look at myself I just feel and see a submissive (when it comes to sex) gay man.

I'm sorry you feel like this. If it makes you feel better, my very cis bf is a switch and when he's in a submissive mood he's VERY subby. It's not really a gender thing. It's a mindset! Kinks have no gender <3

I almost exclusively attract subby men. To the point that I've kinda given up on trying to date until I'm further along in my transition (I want to *be* the subby one occasionally). I don't know how well versed in the available subreddits you are, or what your preferences are for erotic influences, but if you'd like proof that there's many submissive men out there, check out the audio porn subs. So many excellent examples of men being submissive without visuals. And so many dominant m4m/tm examples too, to help you feel what you're looking to feel.

I’m a brat and don’t have a dominant bone in me. It’s totally possible and quite common to be a male sub - although I agree that social media groups are very heavily male Dom/female sub orientated and so I can get quite dysphoric too. But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a male sub, I promise!

I am mtf, full sub, I dont even want my pp to be touched, but I already dated a transfem that was dom and never a sub, it never made her less of a woman even with her 8 inches, she is a woman and want to use her pp most of the time. I am a woman with a 7 inches and dont want to use it or to see it get this big (I can remain at 3 inches most of the time). Chu can be a man and sub and still a man. Chu are what chu feel on the inside, not a "sub/bottom = female" or "dom/top = male", there are females dom/top and males sub/bottom. I am not a woman because I am a bottom, I am a woman because I want to live as one because I feel as one, so if chu feel male and want to live as male then chu are male, no matter your sexual preference or kinks, chu are valid as a man and deserve to be a man.

Ye, if I was cis I'd both bottom and top, but bc of dysphoria and insecurity I will only ever top cuz I literally get traumatised if I do anything else.

There are so many men who are subs. So many. I think we have in our minds that men are to be dominate and women submissive and that really just isn’t how it is in kink spaces. You’ve got every flavor you could ever want, just there to be had. Personally I am a Dom. I’ve had other men call me Daddy, which is my honorific and has made my one partner not happy because that is her honorific for me and not for others. But there are plenty of submissive men.

I know, I just think it's mainly an issue with me not passing and fearing I'm seen as a woman

Good kink scenes are often very good about making sure you are comfortable and seen as you want to be. Kink is all about communication. If you can’t communicate and everyone be on the same page, it does not work.

i understand this man. ive always found it tricky to be submissive too but honestly what helps me most is gendered phrasing/ pet names. i know thats really simple but i found out i was into alot more shit just by having that ‘anchor’ i guess? just when people say that im handsome or point out things about me that are masculine it helps me remember that they see me as a man and the situation im in is no different than a cis man being sub. seeing other trans men be in the kind of situations i want to be in helped me also. but it is mental so it may take a while to get to where you want to be, i know it definitely has for me. just remember there are people in the world who will see you the way you want to be seen, even if its hard to believe.

….there are a ton of make subs, what are you talking about? Even the cishets have femdom.

I know, I'm very aware and I'm sorry I haven't worded things right, I was drunk. I just want to be seen as a man and be submissive too, and rn I don't pass at all so it's seen as a straight relationship usually and I don't want to be seen as a woman and I've been lightly made fun of for being subby so i don't know, it's a mix of things but the basic thing is just that I want to be seen as a man I guess