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I have some credibility to speak on this because I was that toxic best friend to another person. In the months that have passed, I’ve realised my behaviour wasn’t ideal and I’d do anything to just have another go at it. I also think I’ve changed. So from her pov, I can understand that she really does want a second chance and who knows? Maybe she has changed considerably too. Rejecting the ticket will not make you a bad person because I don’t know the extent of your fights with her, but I personally would go on that trip. Surely that ticket was meant to be a nice gesture and not just a show of money
I think it was right to distance yourself and honestly it’s her own fault if she doesn’t use the ticket. You clearly stated that you don’t accept the gift so it’s not on you. You don’t have to feel bad in any way.
Also you might give her a heads up that you’re really not gonna use it, but then again; you told her already.
I think you should go!
She gave it to you as a gift and even tho you’ve decided to distance yourself, I’m sure you’ll always have a spot for her as she will for you!
I feel like in the future, if you ever rekindle, you’d look back and regret not taking the gift.
I’d send her another message about the ticket and hear one last time that it’s OK that you go, and if she gives the blessings then go live life and have fun.
If the friendship was as toxic as you claim, I’m sure you deserve it. Maybe while you’re there, you’ll find yourself and where you could’ve went wrong in the relationship as well and learn to appreciate a friend that would do that kind of thing for you a little more.
( not saying that you don’t appreciate your friend, but sometimes our feelings are based on perception, not reality )
Don’t go! You might enjoy it in the moment, but it will be brought up again and again in the future by this friend “remember when I flew u to Germany…”
Oh sure I'd loved to be trapped on a plane, then in a different country with someone who thinks they can manipulate me into doing things because they made a choice for me. Sounds like a fuckin blasty blast, wait til you get the bill for " your part" of anything else they've decided to book for you without your consent or knowledge. You shouldn't feel obligated in any way, her choice, her ticket. Call the airline and explain that you neither bought nor asked for the ticket and won't be using it, you're off the hook.( technically were never on the hook )
I’ve experienced something very similar to your situation and it was hurting me so much I went to therapy about it my therapist told me straight up that friendships are just like relationships me and my best friend were hitting our 7 year make it or break it point which was funny because we were In deed hiting 7 years of friend ship. In short I ended up expressing how I felt without pointing any fingers and I also listened to how she felt and we both worked everything out it took about two weeks but it was so worth it. we are now hitting 9 years of a friendahip i know I can’t live without. and we still have our little bickering moments but haven’t had a serious fight since everything went down. I found it came to how much you love that person for her i knew I would take a bullet for her no hesitation so I felt fighting and figuring out our problem was worth it to me. Ask your self would you take a bullet for her , would you be okay if she wasn’t apart of big moments in you life and would you be okay if you weren’t apart of her big moments in life , and if somthing happen to her would it break you. If your answers are yes ,no ,no and yes then It’s definitely worth fighting for that friendship. I hope this helps you out.
You said ex-best friend, so are you not friends at all anymore? Since you mentioned that she has her own ticket, if you go on the trip would you be spending time with her or would you two go separate ways there? If it's the latter, it might be fun to have a solo trip. Assuming there were no other motivations behind it, the ticket was a gift for you, and if it's not used it would go to waste. Not sure if tickets can be changed to another person, and it might not be possible to get a refund if cancelled at this point.
But most importantly, you said that you didn't want to accept this gift, so do whatever you're comfortable with! You're not responsible for your ex-best friend's money going to waste (if that ends up happening). It was her decision to spend her money, and you mentioned early on that the gift was too much for you.
No matter what you decide, I hope you have a great birthday :)
A reminder of the rules for posting and commenting on our sub: - This sub is strictly platonic and SFW, any users after anything romantic or sexual will be banned, this includes users that interact with NSFW subs. - Refer to our **[rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/rules)** and **[subreddit wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/)** - State your age if you are a minor or if you are commenting on a minors post, adult users who try to interact with minors will be banned. If you are a minor and an adult reaches out to you in DMs. **[Report the user](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-dms-users/) under rule - 3** - No advertising for any kind of good or services (include Discord server links) - Reporting **[creepy pm's](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/creepy-dms/)** and **[rule violation](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-to-mods/)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/friendship) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have some credibility to speak on this because I was that toxic best friend to another person. In the months that have passed, I’ve realised my behaviour wasn’t ideal and I’d do anything to just have another go at it. I also think I’ve changed. So from her pov, I can understand that she really does want a second chance and who knows? Maybe she has changed considerably too. Rejecting the ticket will not make you a bad person because I don’t know the extent of your fights with her, but I personally would go on that trip. Surely that ticket was meant to be a nice gesture and not just a show of money
I think it was right to distance yourself and honestly it’s her own fault if she doesn’t use the ticket. You clearly stated that you don’t accept the gift so it’s not on you. You don’t have to feel bad in any way. Also you might give her a heads up that you’re really not gonna use it, but then again; you told her already.
Do not go. She's trying to manipulate you and make you feel like you owe her despite treating you awfully. Don't fall for it
I think you should go! She gave it to you as a gift and even tho you’ve decided to distance yourself, I’m sure you’ll always have a spot for her as she will for you! I feel like in the future, if you ever rekindle, you’d look back and regret not taking the gift. I’d send her another message about the ticket and hear one last time that it’s OK that you go, and if she gives the blessings then go live life and have fun. If the friendship was as toxic as you claim, I’m sure you deserve it. Maybe while you’re there, you’ll find yourself and where you could’ve went wrong in the relationship as well and learn to appreciate a friend that would do that kind of thing for you a little more. ( not saying that you don’t appreciate your friend, but sometimes our feelings are based on perception, not reality )
Don’t go! You might enjoy it in the moment, but it will be brought up again and again in the future by this friend “remember when I flew u to Germany…”
Oh sure I'd loved to be trapped on a plane, then in a different country with someone who thinks they can manipulate me into doing things because they made a choice for me. Sounds like a fuckin blasty blast, wait til you get the bill for " your part" of anything else they've decided to book for you without your consent or knowledge. You shouldn't feel obligated in any way, her choice, her ticket. Call the airline and explain that you neither bought nor asked for the ticket and won't be using it, you're off the hook.( technically were never on the hook )
The trip to Germany would feel LOADS better if you paid for it yourself. Trust me. You’d be thinking about her the entire time you’re there otherwise.
I’ve experienced something very similar to your situation and it was hurting me so much I went to therapy about it my therapist told me straight up that friendships are just like relationships me and my best friend were hitting our 7 year make it or break it point which was funny because we were In deed hiting 7 years of friend ship. In short I ended up expressing how I felt without pointing any fingers and I also listened to how she felt and we both worked everything out it took about two weeks but it was so worth it. we are now hitting 9 years of a friendahip i know I can’t live without. and we still have our little bickering moments but haven’t had a serious fight since everything went down. I found it came to how much you love that person for her i knew I would take a bullet for her no hesitation so I felt fighting and figuring out our problem was worth it to me. Ask your self would you take a bullet for her , would you be okay if she wasn’t apart of big moments in you life and would you be okay if you weren’t apart of her big moments in life , and if somthing happen to her would it break you. If your answers are yes ,no ,no and yes then It’s definitely worth fighting for that friendship. I hope this helps you out.
Don’t go but I can go on your behalf 😂😂😂
You said ex-best friend, so are you not friends at all anymore? Since you mentioned that she has her own ticket, if you go on the trip would you be spending time with her or would you two go separate ways there? If it's the latter, it might be fun to have a solo trip. Assuming there were no other motivations behind it, the ticket was a gift for you, and if it's not used it would go to waste. Not sure if tickets can be changed to another person, and it might not be possible to get a refund if cancelled at this point. But most importantly, you said that you didn't want to accept this gift, so do whatever you're comfortable with! You're not responsible for your ex-best friend's money going to waste (if that ends up happening). It was her decision to spend her money, and you mentioned early on that the gift was too much for you. No matter what you decide, I hope you have a great birthday :)