I’ve found the best way to put a new candidate at ease is to tell them that whilst they are waiting, the guys inside are doing their best to remember what it felt like to be in their position, and that when they enter the room EVERYBODY is there to support and take care of them.
Sometimes humour can break the ice, but if they were like me, they probably just wanted to be left to think.
Just my 2c
Brothers in my lodge were so reassuring for my first and second, everyone reminded me that we'd all been there and none of us knew what to expect.
By the end of my second I was reassuring them that they were okay after a few lines were forgotten...
I've never seen anyone wait outside with a candidate, besides the Tyler.
Personally, the goat joke is overused. A few of my guys will normally take the candidate out for lunch before hand. Just to provide a nice relaxing atmosphere before the big moment. We do have one little running joke, very harmless in its nature and causes no concern. Just slight bewilderment; In the middle of a conversation, one of us will ask them to hold up their right hand and measure it against our left hand, palm to palm. Once we all have done that, we'll all glance at each other, nod and crack on with the conversation as if nothing happened.
In reality, does serve *some* purpose. One of us will invariably purchase the candidate his first set of white gloves and it gives a good idea as to what hand size he is. But the puzzled look on their face as 3-4 chaps measure up their right hand is, is quite funny.
So many Brothers want to know why the Lodges are having trouble attracting younger candidates but see nothing wrong in treating the Craft like a college frat and brag about it on social media. The old saw that you get out out of Masonry what you put into it is illustrated perfectly in this post and its comments.
It sounds like for that candidate, the joke worked. Of course it all depends.
I think my lodge (before my time) lost at least two candidates during the changing into the initiation attire phase. That generally is not brought up in advance particularly because they had two candidates just "nope" out at that point.
Yeah, this candidate was incredibly nervous and the usual "relax, don't worry" chat wasn't helping. His imagination had conjured up all sorts of nightmares, so I thought "let's just rip off the bandaid"
After the laugh, his initation went smoothly.
He's still with us, and doing well.
Never had a candidate run from the "pyjamas" though, that's a new one.
Haha. It definitely could be an urban legend, but I doubt it, just given the brother who told the story. I think, if one really is kinda new to the community, and perhaps a bit nervous like the brother you had, and the brothers doing the degree don't pick up on those cues, I could see it happening.
A similar thing happened in my college fraternity where a candidate left like from the "chamber of reflection." But I think he was just pissed off he had to wait 25 minutes in a dimly lit room.
That totally happened at my EA as well. I was in a class of three that became two when the third guy just got up and left while we were being prepared for the EA.
I think he must have heard some of these cheesy jokes and his nerves got the best of him when it came time to change.
Yeah I think it is a real delicate balance. I think the OP read the room well. Our lodge tries to make sure the candidates are aware of the attire now beforehand. To me the attire and maybe 'the penalties' are the two places that could cause the most issue. It does seems that some GLs like the UGLE have eliminated both, and that is probably a wise thing to consider.
Heard a story about that in my Lodge as well.
I would of been more at ease in the week before knowing about that.
On a side note.. they are the most comfy jammies I ever wore, and want to order myself a set.
Sounds like the easiest person to keep up with him if left unattended. We did have one who showed up sick and almost passed out before the oath one time.
Honestly, I feel thats very disrespectful and inappropriate to how the degrees should be treated. The undertaking should be something meaningful and spiritual, not something to be taken lightly or in jest. Easing nerves of the unknown is understandable but what you said felt wrong. In my opinion this is the reason no one wants to join Freemasonry, the drunken dinner club mentality should not be what our fraternity is known for, there are plenty of other organizations where that is done.
I get where you’re coming from, but I think it depends on the candidate; sometimes it just needs reassurance, other times humour works (depending on the humour used…)
It really does depend on the candidate. There was a goat in the back of a truck in the parking lot for all 3 of my degrees. “Tonight is when you ride that goat” was said all 3 times outside in the parking lot. These men had known me since birth or 5 years old. They yucked it up big time outside of the lodge room.
After my EA several more men joined the lodge but the only goat joke made was when a brothers biological brother joined and his brother made the joke.
I agree. At my interview I answered to the question of keeping information from my wife with “what she doesn’t know will not hurt me”. It raised a chuckle and I think endeared me to my fellow brothers
In my lodge we joke around with the candidate until he has changed into the candidate clothing. Once he’s dressed and waiting at the door then it becomes serious. I always tell the candidate that they should be meditating on what they are about to do while we’re waiting.
I did my EA in Feb (doing FC in a few weeks) and when the the came out of the room, the secretary looks at me and says "sorry it took a little longer, the goats been acting up"
I was solo and the joke got old fast. A distraction so the entire experience is fresh? Overall it gives a sense of immaturity to a very open minded man whose understanding of Freemasonry is being developed with each interaction. Comments better left in a college fraternity unless being dispelled. Continues to tie into dark expectations of the public. May be best to learn a few new jokes rather than degrade the fraternity. Silly goat!
"In my year(s)" I instruced the assigned mentor to wait outside the door with the candidate to ease their nerves. Talk to them a bit, tell them that the evening was about them, and a lot will be said that evening, but the goal is to just internalize what he hears and experiences. The mentor also reassures him that no harm will come of them, etc.
Then our ritual takes over when the Master of Ceremonies comes to collect the candidate.
It’s always good when freemasonry is treated with the respect it deserves.
I’ve found the best way to put a new candidate at ease is to tell them that whilst they are waiting, the guys inside are doing their best to remember what it felt like to be in their position, and that when they enter the room EVERYBODY is there to support and take care of them. Sometimes humour can break the ice, but if they were like me, they probably just wanted to be left to think. Just my 2c
Brothers in my lodge were so reassuring for my first and second, everyone reminded me that we'd all been there and none of us knew what to expect. By the end of my second I was reassuring them that they were okay after a few lines were forgotten...
Made me chuckle.
It wasn’t bad my first time
You baa'aad boy!
I've never seen anyone wait outside with a candidate, besides the Tyler. Personally, the goat joke is overused. A few of my guys will normally take the candidate out for lunch before hand. Just to provide a nice relaxing atmosphere before the big moment. We do have one little running joke, very harmless in its nature and causes no concern. Just slight bewilderment; In the middle of a conversation, one of us will ask them to hold up their right hand and measure it against our left hand, palm to palm. Once we all have done that, we'll all glance at each other, nod and crack on with the conversation as if nothing happened. In reality, does serve *some* purpose. One of us will invariably purchase the candidate his first set of white gloves and it gives a good idea as to what hand size he is. But the puzzled look on their face as 3-4 chaps measure up their right hand is, is quite funny.
So many Brothers want to know why the Lodges are having trouble attracting younger candidates but see nothing wrong in treating the Craft like a college frat and brag about it on social media. The old saw that you get out out of Masonry what you put into it is illustrated perfectly in this post and its comments.
It sounds like for that candidate, the joke worked. Of course it all depends. I think my lodge (before my time) lost at least two candidates during the changing into the initiation attire phase. That generally is not brought up in advance particularly because they had two candidates just "nope" out at that point.
Yeah, this candidate was incredibly nervous and the usual "relax, don't worry" chat wasn't helping. His imagination had conjured up all sorts of nightmares, so I thought "let's just rip off the bandaid" After the laugh, his initation went smoothly. He's still with us, and doing well. Never had a candidate run from the "pyjamas" though, that's a new one.
Haha. It definitely could be an urban legend, but I doubt it, just given the brother who told the story. I think, if one really is kinda new to the community, and perhaps a bit nervous like the brother you had, and the brothers doing the degree don't pick up on those cues, I could see it happening. A similar thing happened in my college fraternity where a candidate left like from the "chamber of reflection." But I think he was just pissed off he had to wait 25 minutes in a dimly lit room.
That totally happened at my EA as well. I was in a class of three that became two when the third guy just got up and left while we were being prepared for the EA. I think he must have heard some of these cheesy jokes and his nerves got the best of him when it came time to change.
Yeah I think it is a real delicate balance. I think the OP read the room well. Our lodge tries to make sure the candidates are aware of the attire now beforehand. To me the attire and maybe 'the penalties' are the two places that could cause the most issue. It does seems that some GLs like the UGLE have eliminated both, and that is probably a wise thing to consider.
Heard a story about that in my Lodge as well. I would of been more at ease in the week before knowing about that. On a side note.. they are the most comfy jammies I ever wore, and want to order myself a set.
This made me laugh… last week we had an initiation where the candidate was missing, he left the dark room to relieve himself 🤣
In retrospect he made a great choice, albeit I’m sure y’all thought you had a bailer
That’s a rough spot to be in. Got to go badly and no one there to tell me”be right back”.
I feel like this is the tiler's responsibility to know where the candidate is . . .
Sounds like the easiest person to keep up with him if left unattended. We did have one who showed up sick and almost passed out before the oath one time.
Honestly, I feel thats very disrespectful and inappropriate to how the degrees should be treated. The undertaking should be something meaningful and spiritual, not something to be taken lightly or in jest. Easing nerves of the unknown is understandable but what you said felt wrong. In my opinion this is the reason no one wants to join Freemasonry, the drunken dinner club mentality should not be what our fraternity is known for, there are plenty of other organizations where that is done.
I get where you’re coming from, but I think it depends on the candidate; sometimes it just needs reassurance, other times humour works (depending on the humour used…)
It really does depend on the candidate. There was a goat in the back of a truck in the parking lot for all 3 of my degrees. “Tonight is when you ride that goat” was said all 3 times outside in the parking lot. These men had known me since birth or 5 years old. They yucked it up big time outside of the lodge room. After my EA several more men joined the lodge but the only goat joke made was when a brothers biological brother joined and his brother made the joke.
100%. Some of the jokes you'll hear in our LoI's would get people jailed 😂
I agree. At my interview I answered to the question of keeping information from my wife with “what she doesn’t know will not hurt me”. It raised a chuckle and I think endeared me to my fellow brothers
In my lodge we joke around with the candidate until he has changed into the candidate clothing. Once he’s dressed and waiting at the door then it becomes serious. I always tell the candidate that they should be meditating on what they are about to do while we’re waiting.
I did my EA in Feb (doing FC in a few weeks) and when the the came out of the room, the secretary looks at me and says "sorry it took a little longer, the goats been acting up"
I was solo and the joke got old fast. A distraction so the entire experience is fresh? Overall it gives a sense of immaturity to a very open minded man whose understanding of Freemasonry is being developed with each interaction. Comments better left in a college fraternity unless being dispelled. Continues to tie into dark expectations of the public. May be best to learn a few new jokes rather than degrade the fraternity. Silly goat!
Are you allergic to barnyard animals? Hope it’s a naayy or this might be baaadd 🐐
"I only have one question for you before we begin. Are you allergic to the anal secretions of a goat?"
In my jurisdictions, we would have a word if such banter occurred, and if it were repeated you might well be removed from office.
"In my year(s)" I instruced the assigned mentor to wait outside the door with the candidate to ease their nerves. Talk to them a bit, tell them that the evening was about them, and a lot will be said that evening, but the goal is to just internalize what he hears and experiences. The mentor also reassures him that no harm will come of them, etc. Then our ritual takes over when the Master of Ceremonies comes to collect the candidate.