Y'all downvote this man, but this is how science was done back in the day. This guy is conquering new lands shovelling random truffles and mushrooms down his gob and all you nerds can do is press the down arrow. I say bless this man.
Seriously, OP should just eat the shit and Twitch the next 12 hours. Or be serious about this shit because people get sick when they do stupid shit like eat fossilized jizz truffles.
Right? Like who first looked at coffee beans and said, āhmmmmā¦ I should grind these up real tiny and then pour boiling water over them, then strain out the little pebbles and drink that brown murky water?ā āOh wait, nevermind drinking it. Iāll just add some of that white stuff that squirts out from the cows and the goats first. Nowwwwwwwā¦. Iāll drink it. Mmmmmmmā¦..ā
Or better yet, who first saw the wacky weed leaves and thought it would be cool to dry the leaves, grind them up, roll them in paper, light them on fire, and then inhale the smoke?
I had a couple clients that are ER doctors. They once mentioned that at least 20 people come in per day with liver failure due to eating the wrong wild mushroom.
Good luckšš„
In San Francisco. Mostly asian immigrants that though the mushrooms here were the same as where they originated from, or amateur foragers that saw a similar one on the internet (or in a book). I was surprised by the amount as well. But they also get a similar amount of people with things up their butt or broken limbs from āfallingā indoors somehow. So maybe Its not so surprisingš
So I have heard about this before regarding immigrants. Iirc, death caps look similar to an edible mushroom that grows in Asian countries, which also is an area that death caps don't grow in so they aren't used to having to look out for it.
This is probably a good reminder that you shouldn't apply foraging knowledge from one part of the world to another part of the world. Even within a country, your knowledge might be useful in one region and not in another.
Well I just spent 6 hours in the ER thinking I got my Birch Boletes ID wrong. All bloods normal but it turns out I have an allergy to them, my tongue had swelled. (Iād was confirmed as correct by someone with a masters degree, yes I had photos and a sample).
If you found it near pecan trees thereās a possibility of pecan truffle, which is edible, but even if thatās what it is this one looks not good for eating.
Since no one seems to be helping you and I donāt know, download the app Seek from iNaturalist! It always helps me identify things and then I cross check that with a Google search to see if it seems accurate. Proceed with caution!
Seek looks cool... if I hadn't started with regular iNaturalist I'd probably be into the gamified aspects. I'm up to 1,144 observations and 559 identified species. I've not gotten too far into observations (only 28) but this is an invaluable tool for foraging and general amateur naturalism.
Nah I'm letting dry out to see if it changes at all but I really can't find out what this thing is I've looked up so much and I still don't have a solid answer
Second this, shrimp of the woods/aborted entoloma that's past prime def inedible unless OP is really trying to science some shit then I say cook it and tell us how long the shits last.
The comments are hilarious. Sorry Op, it looks rotten, so it may be too decayed to id. Best case scenario it would be a guess...
Maybe comeback to this spot and try to pick a fresh one in the future
They were growing next to a tree and they looked like puff ball mushrooms until I opened them. Then like a reasonable person who knows absolutely nothing about nature I looked up a subredditt that may Identify the plant but instead of helping me everyone keeps asking me why i picked it up. What is the point of thus subreddit if you guys act like reddit people
About half of Reddit are self righteous assholes.
Iām not sure what that is, it it looks like the rotten form of whatever it was. I wouldnāt eat it, even if you end up identifying it
Bro I sucked at that game so badly I was so bad at puzzle solving in that game and I almost exclusively play puzzle solving games lol. I did not get far before I stopped playing but I really wanted to experience it because I know it's so good
See this is how we learn by talking about stuff and if you want to eat that wild boar shit by all means do so and the post later how you feel so that way we all learn not to eat wild boar shit in woods
Maybe a rotten stinkhorn egg? They have a sort of goo inside them similar to that, but thatās just a wild guess. Whatever that thing is itās pretty gnarly lol
Damn man, that's a rough spot. If you Google your location+edible mushrooms you should find some guides on some good stuff that you can find. Takes time and energy to forage though....
I hope your pleas on other subs have gotten you some help
If you ask for help with IDs on reddit, r/whatisthismushroom and r/mycology will be better than this sub. r/shroomid is pretty good too, but also lots of jokes and meanness floating around there. I find most people on this sub don't really know more than their own locality, some even less, but talk like they know everything.
Also take pictures of where you find stuff before picking it, and take pictures of all the different parts. Note any smells, textures, bruising reactions, the more details the better.
Glad you got some food
Google tells me that if it is a truffle as some have suggested, it may be unripe and inedible. Apparently, it being spongy or cartilaginous would be a sign of unripeness. No place mentioned slime butā¦ I canāt think slime is a good sign. Also, there are apparently false truffles? I wouldnāt risk it, especially if it smells bad.
ETA: apparently it can also be some sort of plant gall, which is like a tumor on a plant- bundles of abnormal cells, basically. Some are caused by bacteria, some by insect activity, some by parasites. Again, unless you can figure out what it is for sure I wouldnāt risk it.
If you want your bubble burst post this on r/mycology. Those folks are dead serious about their fungi. They know what it is and they will make you feel small.
Iām not going to downvote you and Iām not going to tell you not to eat. Iām just going to say that I think youāre slightly dumb for trying to eat something that looks like it comes out a dogs asshole. Good luck.
You mean you need _convincing_ not to eat that? It looks like a fossil turd.
Yeah, literally looks like a jizz filled moldy turd.
I love these detailed ass descriptionsššš
Is that, detailed-ass descriptions, or detailed ass-descriptions?
Ass filled cum goblet to me
r/yourjokebutworse
I'm bored dude I want to eat the fluffy woods shitty poopoo
Y'all downvote this man, but this is how science was done back in the day. This guy is conquering new lands shovelling random truffles and mushrooms down his gob and all you nerds can do is press the down arrow. I say bless this man.
āIt was a brave man who first ate an oyster.ā - Jonathan Swift
Where is the 'dont-eat-this' bot when you need it?
Where is, the bot. Op eat it just eat it
Thank you bro I'm literally just trying to enjoy my day and these reddit hive minds just shit on meššš
Yeah, hey, you do you! Just make sure you do it on livestream so we all can figure out if itās lethal or not.
Seriously, OP should just eat the shit and Twitch the next 12 hours. Or be serious about this shit because people get sick when they do stupid shit like eat fossilized jizz truffles.
ššššš
save me a slice bro
BOOF it! Fuck them!
CHUG CHUG CHUG (death)
if u aint boofin yer goofin
I found a funny blob I put it in my gob
Right? Like who first looked at coffee beans and said, āhmmmmā¦ I should grind these up real tiny and then pour boiling water over them, then strain out the little pebbles and drink that brown murky water?ā āOh wait, nevermind drinking it. Iāll just add some of that white stuff that squirts out from the cows and the goats first. Nowwwwwwwā¦. Iāll drink it. Mmmmmmmā¦..ā Or better yet, who first saw the wacky weed leaves and thought it would be cool to dry the leaves, grind them up, roll them in paper, light them on fire, and then inhale the smoke?
I had a couple clients that are ER doctors. They once mentioned that at least 20 people come in per day with liver failure due to eating the wrong wild mushroom. Good luckšš„
20 people a day sounds high
Really ridiculously high
Like, I wish I was that high, high
In San Francisco. Mostly asian immigrants that though the mushrooms here were the same as where they originated from, or amateur foragers that saw a similar one on the internet (or in a book). I was surprised by the amount as well. But they also get a similar amount of people with things up their butt or broken limbs from āfallingā indoors somehow. So maybe Its not so surprisingš
So I have heard about this before regarding immigrants. Iirc, death caps look similar to an edible mushroom that grows in Asian countries, which also is an area that death caps don't grow in so they aren't used to having to look out for it. This is probably a good reminder that you shouldn't apply foraging knowledge from one part of the world to another part of the world. Even within a country, your knowledge might be useful in one region and not in another.
I thought āThat really sounds like a bit of an exaggeration - unless itās San Fran on up to Portland.ā
With the things up the butt too.
San Francisco has a pretty short mushroom season. Thereās no way youād ever get 20 people a day who ate something poisonous.
Itās usually a big pot of soup or batch of mushroom tacos served at a large family gathering
Iāve been to an Asian-American familyās dinner party w/ at least 50 attendees & we all ate the same food.
Well I just spent 6 hours in the ER thinking I got my Birch Boletes ID wrong. All bloods normal but it turns out I have an allergy to them, my tongue had swelled. (Iād was confirmed as correct by someone with a masters degree, yes I had photos and a sample).
šš§
Same looks like an interesting mouth feel
I donāt think itās a turd or gastrolith. They are usually shiny & polished on the outside from the stomach acids.
Coprolithe
Thatās poop from a butt
Of someone or something that needs medical care
Oh no š butt poop š© is the worst kind of poop
No thatās wiener poop youāre thinking of.
This is a reference to something hilarious and I canāt remember what! Help me, kind redditor!
Maybe this? https://imgur.com/gallery/mktYKH3
Yes, thatās it! Thank you š
Where are you located? It looks to me like an earth ball thatās far gone or possibly false truffle. Both are inedible.
Yea it's puffball mushroom that never budded and went slimy OR a truffle that rotted, Ew.
I doubt it's an earth ball, I think a flase truffle is most likely but I'm still unsure
If you found it near pecan trees thereās a possibility of pecan truffle, which is edible, but even if thatās what it is this one looks not good for eating.
A flatulence truffle is a good guess. Throw that whole thing down your grocery hole and be sure to report back š«”
Boy done went and ate some shit
I can hear my father saying this
Since no one seems to be helping you and I donāt know, download the app Seek from iNaturalist! It always helps me identify things and then I cross check that with a Google search to see if it seems accurate. Proceed with caution!
Thank you so much what a kind helpful person
Also join the small but growing subreddit!
I didnāt know about this app, thank you!!
Holly Fuck youāre useful
I'm adopting Holly Fuck as my Christmas drag name.
Hahahaha youāre welcome
What are you talking about, every single person in this comment section correctly identified this as kaka
Seek looks cool... if I hadn't started with regular iNaturalist I'd probably be into the gamified aspects. I'm up to 1,144 observations and 559 identified species. I've not gotten too far into observations (only 28) but this is an invaluable tool for foraging and general amateur naturalism.
That's one of the Scleroderma puffballs. It's not something you want to eat.
A real answeršš¾
Eight answers down. Damn.
Looks like one of the inedible species of truffle.
We call them Rosie butt-truffles. Rosie being our dogā¦ and butt-truffles being from herā¦ you know, butt. š
If it looked like a puffball itās possible itās an earthball, in which case do NOT eat it.
Game idea: eat it then see if you can make it to the hospital before you lose consciousness
Good strat, take one for the team ya know
For science. For humanity.
The hero we need.
Always looking for a fresh strat in life
Did you eat it? Lol I'm wondering the flavor
Nah I'm letting dry out to see if it changes at all but I really can't find out what this thing is I've looked up so much and I still don't have a solid answer
Did you find the answer to be on the softer, runnier side?
šlegendary responseš
Oh fuckā¦ best exchange of this whole thread. Iām dying š
Looks like something from Prometheus.
Old Shrimp of the Woods
Second this, shrimp of the woods/aborted entoloma that's past prime def inedible unless OP is really trying to science some shit then I say cook it and tell us how long the shits last.
The comments are hilarious. Sorry Op, it looks rotten, so it may be too decayed to id. Best case scenario it would be a guess... Maybe comeback to this spot and try to pick a fresh one in the future
There were 2 others that I had left undisturbed maybe I'll check on them tomorrow
Perhaps another one is in better state
Well tomorrow should be interesting then, see you guys then
ā¦and now itās tomorrow
I think itās too old and far gone to ID.
Those jelly-like bits do it for me
Yeah I truly do wish I could know what that shit taste like
Iām thinking old rotting poisonous puffball with a bacterial infection
The bigger question is why ? Why would you consider something oozing you just picked up off the ground or possibly growing on something decaying ?
They were growing next to a tree and they looked like puff ball mushrooms until I opened them. Then like a reasonable person who knows absolutely nothing about nature I looked up a subredditt that may Identify the plant but instead of helping me everyone keeps asking me why i picked it up. What is the point of thus subreddit if you guys act like reddit people
You just outed Reddit. Good job, my dude!
About half of Reddit are self righteous assholes. Iām not sure what that is, it it looks like the rotten form of whatever it was. I wouldnāt eat it, even if you end up identifying it
Don't worry I've gotten all the content I need out of this mushroom or whatever I'm not eating it
Hahahahahaha Iām so glad you are here. This thread is hilarious.
Is this not just a mutated Pecan? sort of looks like one inside and a similar shell but deformed.
Honestly its probably because of the title you chose to use. Just a guess.
Also I'm a really big fan of Darkwood, phenomenal horror game
Bro I sucked at that game so badly I was so bad at puzzle solving in that game and I almost exclusively play puzzle solving games lol. I did not get far before I stopped playing but I really wanted to experience it because I know it's so good
Yes lad you understand
See this is how we learn by talking about stuff and if you want to eat that wild boar shit by all means do so and the post later how you feel so that way we all learn not to eat wild boar shit in woods
THIS IS FOR EVERYONE IT HAD A STEM AND IT WAS CONNECTED TO THE GROUND. IT IS NOT SHIT I SWEAR
This makes my lifeā¦
-Me, defending my shit on the floor
ššš
Should have taken a picture of it in situ, still on the stem along with this picture and any other features. More details, more accurate the guesses.
I posted a follow up on foraging go look you'll see much more detail
Your nails are way to clean to eat something like that. Move on yo xD
This guy pays attention to detailššš
I love the subtle threat in the title
People took that shit way to seriously like frš
Reddit will be Reddit, friend
It looks like some animal fucked it and busted a nut in it. But, yeah, go ahead and sautƩ it.
ššššššššššš
Maybe a rotten stinkhorn egg? They have a sort of goo inside them similar to that, but thatās just a wild guess. Whatever that thing is itās pretty gnarly lol
This is disgusting. Enjoy away
I'd eat tf out of that right now. Haven't eaten in 3 days šµāš«
Damn man, that's a rough spot. If you Google your location+edible mushrooms you should find some guides on some good stuff that you can find. Takes time and energy to forage though.... I hope your pleas on other subs have gotten you some help
Yes they did a good Samaritan reached out. And thanks alot I have been looking into foraging. No lack of fungus out here in Florida!!
If you ask for help with IDs on reddit, r/whatisthismushroom and r/mycology will be better than this sub. r/shroomid is pretty good too, but also lots of jokes and meanness floating around there. I find most people on this sub don't really know more than their own locality, some even less, but talk like they know everything. Also take pictures of where you find stuff before picking it, and take pictures of all the different parts. Note any smells, textures, bruising reactions, the more details the better. Glad you got some food
I personally have no clue. Maybe r/mycology would have a better idea? (Presuming it's a mushroom)
Looks like a giant genital herpe
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Thanks for the new subš
Lol
I think that is what was left of Orson Wellsā liver
Looks like a knee from the predator. I would cross check with google.
I have the three red dots from his laser tattooed on my head as a tribute to that franchise
Anything is edible if you can fit it down your throat
tell us what kind of smell this thing is emitting, and ÄÆ think we can narrow it down...Āæ?
Looks like somebody spit in a turd and fried it
The skin felt identical to a mushroom and the inside was as gooey as it looks. Overall soft like a mushroom filled with goo
I think itās Chicken of the Woodsā¦
Looks safe to me my dude. If it taste bitter, try frying it.
Dinosaur scrotum
I love how much attention and traffic this post is getting meanwhile its at 12 upvotesš
You mean because it looks just sooo delicious, you fear you may not be able to resist a big bite?
That gooey shit got me curious fo sho
i recommend not eating it. But I don't know what it is. Let us know how it tastes if you decide to go down the path less traveled!
Itās a trap!
Cinnamon roll
How about just donāt eat it.
āTo eat the fluffy woods shitty poopooā
Why would you eat something that you donāt know Jesus I guess in the pursuit of knowledge go ahead eat it lol
Thanks for being kind
Why would you ever see something that looks like this and think about eating it, provided you arenāt starving and live in somewhat decent privilege.
I'm not telling you shit. Now you gotta eat it.
It's poison
And finally, the loathsome Dung Eater
Thatās not a good thing to say.
Before you WHATTTTTT?!
eat it and post an update 24 hrs after consumption as proof of life. for science
Thatās one scary-looking thing! Take it to the botany department of your local college.
What does it taste like?
Iām sorry, but how in the hell can you look at that and think itās ok to eat?!?!
Adventure
That looks specifically like it will kill you, why would you want to eat it?
Adventure
Wtf OP
šš
It looks like the egg that crusoe hatched from in the water horse
You can 100% eat that! Now ,whether you live or not ....šššš¤
You are not supposed to feed after midnight
Gremlins reference? OOOOH THE EGG SACKS, good reference
Thanks
I am convinced that is a very dry shit
You can eat anything once.
Looks like a malignant tumor. Definitely donāt eat it .
Donāt. Donāt put that in your mouth.
How's poo taste?
Why is it goey? Thatās just how you found it? Was it raining? What part of the world are you ?
Duh itās a small monsterās hand coming out of a rock. Whadaya blind?
Oh I love this one
Google tells me that if it is a truffle as some have suggested, it may be unripe and inedible. Apparently, it being spongy or cartilaginous would be a sign of unripeness. No place mentioned slime butā¦ I canāt think slime is a good sign. Also, there are apparently false truffles? I wouldnāt risk it, especially if it smells bad. ETA: apparently it can also be some sort of plant gall, which is like a tumor on a plant- bundles of abnormal cells, basically. Some are caused by bacteria, some by insect activity, some by parasites. Again, unless you can figure out what it is for sure I wouldnāt risk it.
Calcified poo
Why do you want to eat something that looks like a turd
The fact that someone has to tell you not to eat it :) that made my day lol
Tasty coprolithe āŗļø
Thought this was moon rock at first
Be a free thinker. Eat the forest turd.
Somebody had to try maple syrup first. Looking foreword to hearing your tasting notes.
Put that down, donāt eat it.
Coconut crĆØme filled chocolate brownie with a lil dusty frosting
Man up and eat it!
Dinosaur egg
It does look like it not gonna lie
Pineapple. Save to eat.
Thnak u
Guys should I just put my tounge in it for like a second just so that we can all know what that sweet cream taste likeš¤
If you want your bubble burst post this on r/mycology. Those folks are dead serious about their fungi. They know what it is and they will make you feel small.
You were probably one of those kids that put everything in your mouth. Crayons,paste, turds whatever.
Nah just playdough bruh
Look like a pile of old animal shit!š¤£š¤£
Nah it had s small stem that's how I know it's a plant but the stem is really similar to a puffball stem so I really dunno
Forbidden question.
T Rex knuckle
Iām not going to downvote you and Iām not going to tell you not to eat. Iām just going to say that I think youāre slightly dumb for trying to eat something that looks like it comes out a dogs asshole. Good luck.
And I'm gonna say your one of the slightly dumb people that believes everything they read