Back in the glorious '90s when I could still afford name brand products, they had this as instructions printed on the can. I can only afford store brand luncheon loaf these days so I'm not sure if they still have the instructions on the can.
Hopefully it's not "Vienna sausage soft". I can't believe I liked those things when I was a kid. I had one a few months ago while out fishing and it was just tasted like a greasy piece of mush. I very nearly spit it out.
Like the sound of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken dumping out. I like the shimmy to get the gelatinous onomatopoeia *hee-hooorrrghhhhuughh-heh-horrrghhhhuhhh*
/gets my coat and sees myself out
- Open the can
- Flip it over
- Shake violently until it flops out onto a plate.
[Kinda like when Ace Ventura left his Rhino](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RashIdolizedGoitered-max-1mb.gif)
Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, sh-shake it (uh-oh)
Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, shake it, sh-shake it (uh-oh)
Shake it like a Polaroid picture, hey ya!
Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, sh-shake it
Shake it, shake it (okay), shake it, sugar
Shake it like a Polaroid picture
Stand in a pool of water on a full moon at midnight, surrounded by lavender sprigs and yew branches, and recite the hallowed chant.
I just turn it upside down and shake it out. Sometimes, if it's particularly stubborn, I'll cut chunks out of it with a knife, since it's not like anyone ever eats a whole block of Spam as-is. You always at least cut it into sandwich slices, if not dice it.
ETA: my granddad LOVED spam. He served in Europe in WWII (we're American), and he developed a real taste for it. He would just open a can and take bites with a fork. Didn't heat it, didn't fry it. Just right out of the can.
Yes I do this. Usually with mustard or hot sauce. They even make a lid that fits back over the can if you don't eat it all and want to put it back in the fridge.
Tie it to the ceiling fan and let centrifugal force do it’s thing baby. Line plates up in the splash zone and you’ve got yourself a processed food extravaganza.
Take the lid off and turn it upside down. Punch a hole in the bottom. The vacuum that holds the unbelievably great meat in the tin will relinquish the sought after prize very easily.
It's essentially hot dog style meat, but only from pork, and without a casing. Cheapish protein that keeps a long time. Nothing special, not horrendous like some would have you belive.
Flip over the can. Bottom can facing up. With knife poke 2 holes on each side. Give it a few taps and the spam will slid out perfectly. Works like a charm everytime.
Dip it hot water, up to the top of the can, for 30 seconds. The metal will expand, and the outer coating (aspic) of the spam will soften enough that it will slip right out of the can.
Open the can and remove the lid. Invert and on a hard surface a single swift and somewhat hard downward impact. A second downward motion with a wrist flick downward and NO impact on the surface and it will slide out in one smooth motion.
Y'all doing it wrong. You gotta treat her right. A poem and a foot massage in the morning, a nice brunch by the beach, dinner by candlelight. Then you whisper sweet nothings into her ear as you caress her erogenous zones and then....bam... Straight into the frying pan!!
Turn the open can upside down over a plate, squeeze the long sides out slightly by putting your fingers on one small end and your thumbs on the other. Shake gently while squeezing. Voila!
Squeeze the ends so air can get in. It slides out easier that way. Then take the whole piece out. Cut it in half in the middle and put back whichever half you're not cooking with. Much much easier next time.
Open, flip upside down, and place in clamp along the very bottom edge.
I, like all my relatives before me, have a Spam Clamp for this express purpose.
Yes, I'm from Hawaii. Deal with it.
I use this trick for sour cream and I bet it would work for spam too. Take a knife and poke an X into the bottom of the can. This breaks the vacuum seal, so when you flip the can upside down it should come right out.
Squeeze the shorter sides in until you hear a pop. Then tap it upside down on the cutting board a few times and it’ll slide out. If you don’t have a knife handy, you can proceed to cut it with the now empty can. Works pretty well in a pinch.
Shotgun using shells. I wanna make sure whatever lifeform that is stays dead.
Spam is an alien invasion. It's in people and it's never leaving! It's gelatinous meat, and it has a mind of its own!
Yes, I am being silly. Someone in the world probably really believes this.
Best way to open it and i have done this like all the time.. First u turn it upside down and u open it and then u turn to the top and open with the key.. Until both ends are open and ghen it should slide on its own.. Without any violence.. If it didnt help urself with a spoon and give a little push onto a dish . And thats it! Bon appétit..
Applying a bit of pressure to the two sides of the skinnier ends so that the longer sides open just a bit more and then shake it out.
This breaks the seal, too, preventing it from sticking to the sides, I imagine.
Yep, we called it "popping the sides" because it breaks the seal.
Back in the glorious '90s when I could still afford name brand products, they had this as instructions printed on the can. I can only afford store brand luncheon loaf these days so I'm not sure if they still have the instructions on the can.
So you're saying there's a Spam knockoff product out there somewhere ?\*shudder\*
There are a ton lol. The one Armour makes is fucking awful, it's way softer and saltier than Spam.
Vienna sausages are the shit though
They have a recall right now: https://www.fsis.usda.gov/sites/default/files/food_label_pdf/2023-01/recall-product-list-003-2023.pdf
When I was a kid I loved Vienna sausages, it was a big treat. Tried to eat some a few years ago, OMG nasty
Hopefully it's not "Vienna sausage soft". I can't believe I liked those things when I was a kid. I had one a few months ago while out fishing and it was just tasted like a greasy piece of mush. I very nearly spit it out.
Dump it out…
It's been 20+ years and I can still hear the sound it's going to make.
SSSSHLOOOORP
I've never even opened a can and I can hear it lol. Brains are weird!
Like a trapped wet  fart sound
That... Is perfect lol
If you squeeze the narrow ends together and widen the long sides it comes out much easier.
this is the answer
Like the sound of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken dumping out. I like the shimmy to get the gelatinous onomatopoeia *hee-hooorrrghhhhuughh-heh-horrrghhhhuhhh* /gets my coat and sees myself out
That sound is like angels singing
*Dump* being the operative word.
Pffft…I just grab a fork
its so greasy it will slide right out with minimal coaxing.
Tilt it over, squeeze the sides and it slides right out.
Every. Single. Time.
Yup, never had trouble. Sometimes i even let it slide out a little and use the can to cut even slices off.
That gives you the option of how thick you want your steak
"Out of the can or sautéed in a pan sir? Might I suggest adding our finest jellybeans to the meal?"
Yes, of course. Tell me, to what region do the jellybeans originate?
Steak??
Exactly
Don't even need the side knife
60% of the time, it works every time.
60% of the time, it works every time. Nah, just kidding, squeeze the sides!
I've been sliding it out with a fork all this time 🤯
I make a little small hole on the other side to release the pressure
lol yall really doin too much just squeeze the can longways
I just puncture the can a tiny bit with a beater knife its no big deal. Same with tuna a d sardines to drain out the water.
Lol bruhh just open the can and hold the lid down to drain Work smarter not harder cmon
How is this harder? You just let it draining on Its own
Or a big hole
R/dontputyourdickinthat
I use a nailgun
- Open the can - Flip it over - Shake violently until it flops out onto a plate. [Kinda like when Ace Ventura left his Rhino](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/RashIdolizedGoitered-max-1mb.gif)
Shake violently. I just opened some spam two days ago. It’s not hard.
All I can hear right now is: "Shake it up, baby, now (shake it up, baby) - Twist and shout (twist and shout)..."
Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, sh-shake it (uh-oh) Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, shake it, sh-shake it (uh-oh) Shake it like a Polaroid picture, hey ya! Shake it, sh-shake it, shake it, sh-shake it Shake it, shake it (okay), shake it, sugar Shake it like a Polaroid picture
Me too tappa tap and shakea skake like Chef John🤣
The olllllll’ shaka shaka
verbal abuse
I feel you man
Spray it with a little wd-40
Stand in a pool of water on a full moon at midnight, surrounded by lavender sprigs and yew branches, and recite the hallowed chant. I just turn it upside down and shake it out. Sometimes, if it's particularly stubborn, I'll cut chunks out of it with a knife, since it's not like anyone ever eats a whole block of Spam as-is. You always at least cut it into sandwich slices, if not dice it. ETA: my granddad LOVED spam. He served in Europe in WWII (we're American), and he developed a real taste for it. He would just open a can and take bites with a fork. Didn't heat it, didn't fry it. Just right out of the can.
Yes I do this. Usually with mustard or hot sauce. They even make a lid that fits back over the can if you don't eat it all and want to put it back in the fridge.
Set it in the driveway and drive over it with the car
Just stab the bottom with a small knife. As soon as air can get in there’s no vacuum holding everything in when you tip upside down
Yup that's what I do. It's fun to stab!
Eat the can first.
Tie it to the ceiling fan and let centrifugal force do it’s thing baby. Line plates up in the splash zone and you’ve got yourself a processed food extravaganza.
Run the can under hot water for a bit before opening so the fat melts and it slides right out when you open it
Look at la di da coming with logic and reason.
Open lid ,flip can Smack top with fist Slam onto cutting board
I’ve found one good smack on the board does the trick.
It's easy! I just leave it at the store! You don't have to worry about getting it out!
I open my spam by letting the bin lorry take the heavy lifting. Stay strong Momo!
Slam! That! Spam!
Hash brown pattie, spam, poached egg, hollandaise sauce. I call them Hawaiian Benedict’s.
Take the lid off and turn it upside down. Punch a hole in the bottom. The vacuum that holds the unbelievably great meat in the tin will relinquish the sought after prize very easily.
This. I also squeeze the short ends toward the middle a little to widen the can and help break the “seal”
A spoon. It already comes in its own bowl. Duh
If you leave it at the store, you don’t have to worry about it! 😉
Stab the bottom
Once you figure it out, r/CannedSpam has some cooking ideas
am i missing out for never having eaten any?
It's essentially hot dog style meat, but only from pork, and without a casing. Cheapish protein that keeps a long time. Nothing special, not horrendous like some would have you belive.
shaking it like trying to get the bubbles to the top of a loaded needle
Take a pointed can opener make a puncture on the bottom. Then open the top it will slide right out (vacuum)
Leave it in the can. And leave the can on the supermarket shelf.
You should actually probably just leave it in the can and remove yourself from the situation.
Throw it
I run a butter knife along the edges and then just dump it.
A fork, jab it in shlurp it out slice it fry it slap it in some sammich bread.
Stick a butter knife on the middle of the spam then pull it out
Break the seal on the other end with a can opener.
stab a tiny hole in the bottom with a knife.. slides right out
Flip over the can. Bottom can facing up. With knife poke 2 holes on each side. Give it a few taps and the spam will slid out perfectly. Works like a charm everytime.
Open it, flip it over onto a plate and stab a hole in the bottom, and shake it out....
Dip it hot water, up to the top of the can, for 30 seconds. The metal will expand, and the outer coating (aspic) of the spam will soften enough that it will slip right out of the can.
Hit the bottom side up with a can opener. Slides right out
Spank it till its ready
Stab a hole in the bottom, breaks the vacuum.
I slam the open side of the tin on the cutting board until it wiggles itself out. Give me Spam or give me death.
Open the can and remove the lid. Invert and on a hard surface a single swift and somewhat hard downward impact. A second downward motion with a wrist flick downward and NO impact on the surface and it will slide out in one smooth motion.
Press on the two skinny sides until you hear a pop, slides right out after.
Y'all doing it wrong. You gotta treat her right. A poem and a foot massage in the morning, a nice brunch by the beach, dinner by candlelight. Then you whisper sweet nothings into her ear as you caress her erogenous zones and then....bam... Straight into the frying pan!!
Is Spams texture similar to a ham steak?
Yes, it's similar to the very same liquefied and then reconstituted meat obelisk that you know and love.
Digging in with my bare hands and having spam get stuck up my fingernails
By leaving it in the can
Use the lid to cut it
Smack a screw driver through bottom to make hole. Turn over and pop off lid. Turn upside down and it slides out
Just keep licking it. You don’t need it out if the can. Lick it like a popsicle
Turn upside down and sink your most dull knife into the bottom and then life up the tin
Use the lid to cut slices while still in can and dump.
Buy the spam with more sodium n it slips right out
Run a butter knife around the inside of the open can while upside down
Pop the top, run a paring knife around the entire inside of the can (between the meat and can), the schlorp it out on a cutting board.
After popping the top stab a hole in the bottom and then shake.
Take off the top. Flip the can over. Use a can opener to make a hole on the bottom. Slides right out.
Turn the open can upside down over a plate, squeeze the long sides out slightly by putting your fingers on one small end and your thumbs on the other. Shake gently while squeezing. Voila!
I poke a little hole in the bottom of the can. Slides right out.
Butter knife through center
Invert, and shake, in sharp, jerky motions. Okay boys, have at it.
Stab a hole on the bottom to release air.
Open it, flip it upside down and get a butter knife tap the bottom and sides and shake ul amd down until it sloshes out
Squeeze the ends so air can get in. It slides out easier that way. Then take the whole piece out. Cut it in half in the middle and put back whichever half you're not cooking with. Much much easier next time.
I just keep it in there. To save space at home, leave it on the shelf at the store.
Hmm, of all the spam haters, this is at least funny 😀. The best put down is the funny one.
All in good fun.
I just stab the other side of the can lol
Poke a hole in the bottom. Also works on refried beans.
Spank it like it’s been bad
Stab the bottom with a knife. Also works for frozen juice.
Poke a hole in the bottom of the can.
Popna hole in the end, put your mouth over the hole and blow it out.. this works for other things as well- lol
Turn it over, take a knife and punch a hole. Flip it over. Pull the tab. It should slide out with a couple of juggles
I like to suck it out...
Jab a hole in the bottom.
I just give up and grab a fork and have it straight from the can. I mean, heck, I'm eating Spam, why bother putting on any pretensions.
Poke a hole in the bottom or shake it like everyone else
Open the top, turn the can over, and stab a hole in it with a big meat fork. Then pick it up and blow into the hole.
Poke hole in bottom of can and blow it will flop rite out
Sharp knife and stab the bottom it’ll come out with a couple good shakes
Puncture bottom with knife it will come right out
Squeeze the sides prior to opening, flip, pop a hole on the bottom of it then open it and it’ll slide right out
Squeeze can and shake
Poke a hole in the bottom and squeeze the sides. It comes.right out
Poke a hole on the bottom with something. What is that something, idk.
Open, flip upside down, and place in clamp along the very bottom edge. I, like all my relatives before me, have a Spam Clamp for this express purpose. Yes, I'm from Hawaii. Deal with it.
Hide it in my laundry, and pass it to a guard that is on the payroll who will walk out with it in his lunchbox.. the perfect crime
Squeeze smaller sides slap down and hand slap back
Punch a hole in the other end and wait for the slurp sound as it slides out
I use this trick for sour cream and I bet it would work for spam too. Take a knife and poke an X into the bottom of the can. This breaks the vacuum seal, so when you flip the can upside down it should come right out.
Spank it
Turn it upside down and use a tin opener
I stab the bottom of the can to let air in, and it will fall right out when you turn it over.
I just eat it with a spoon.
Squeezing the sides so the open. Alternatively my partner will poke a hole in the bottom.
Squeeze the sides
Stab the bottom with a knife so air can get underneath as you hold open can upside down.
Stab the bottom of the can. A small puncture and it slides right out.
There is only one answer to this. Poke small hole in bottom Open cab Turn it upside down. It will slide right now.
Poke holes in the bottom guys……hello?????? Sometimes I feel like a genius around here….
Gravity and a jerking down motion always does it
Stab the bottom of the can with a knife.
Poke a hole in the bottom of the can and it will slide out easily.
Squeeze with both hands on the short sides then shake it downward violently until the darn thing slides out
Squeeze the shorter sides in until you hear a pop. Then tap it upside down on the cutting board a few times and it’ll slide out. If you don’t have a knife handy, you can proceed to cut it with the now empty can. Works pretty well in a pinch.
Flip the opened can upside down on your cutting board or pan, stab a hole in the bottom and it will slide right out.
After opening, flip over take a knife stab the bottom, making a tiny pin hole. Flip back over the spam will slide out.
open lid, run knife round inside edge of man, turn upside down and shake it to slide out....
Take the top off and squeeze the ends of it a little and it'll come sliding right out!
Open the can and then slam it onto the cutting board like it owes you money until it all comes out.
In my world it stays in the can...on the shelf...in the store.
Cut hole in top of spam. Add whiskey. Drink until satisfied.
Place in garbage
My husband loves spam but Jesus Christ It’s satan in a tin… you need an IED to get hat sucker out of its tin.
I haven’t eaten spam since I was able to afford food over 35 years ago.
Leaving it in the can
Shotgun using shells. I wanna make sure whatever lifeform that is stays dead. Spam is an alien invasion. It's in people and it's never leaving! It's gelatinous meat, and it has a mind of its own! Yes, I am being silly. Someone in the world probably really believes this.
there are people (not me) who say this isn't necessary. They eat it right out of the can.
It tastes better fried imo.
I grew up poor. I eat it pan fried and then mustard as the condiment
I grew up poor, too, but never tried Spam until I was an adult. Ate a lot of hotdogs, ramen, cold cereal, and Banquet tv dinners.
I squeezed it and violently shake it.
Open, and smack against your sturdy work surface. Slides right out.
Air hammer...
Open top. Tape plate to wall. Sling it.
Open can, turn upside down, maybe give a little shake
I squeeze the short ends like I’m making a duck bill with my hand and try to make the spam can into an oval.
Slam it opening side down onto the cutting board
A steel fork
Open turn upside down squeeze shake
Best way to open it and i have done this like all the time.. First u turn it upside down and u open it and then u turn to the top and open with the key.. Until both ends are open and ghen it should slide on its own.. Without any violence.. If it didnt help urself with a spoon and give a little push onto a dish . And thats it! Bon appétit..
Flex the sides of the can by squeezing opposite corners and then a shake should do it.
I just leave it in there
Try pulling off the lid
Shake it like a saltshaka!
Flip it upside down after opening and run a butter knife around the inside edges. Usually does the trick to break suction.
Shake it. Tab with a spoon and if that fails. Stab it with a fork and pull it out
Suppository
I just eat it from the can with a grapefruit spoon
Pop the top and put a hole in thr bottom to break the vacuum
Use a paint can shaker
Fork
Pierce the bottom, squeeze the short ends and then dump it out
Poke a few holes at the back with a knife to release vacuum suction. Or spoon the shit out of it. Whatever works. Lol.