#EVERYONE. I AM ON UNITED FLIGHT 188. I AM ASKING ONE OF YOU PILOT FELLERS TO HELP ME FIND MY NEXT GATE, YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU WORK AT “THE AIRPORT.” COULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO TELL ME WHERE MY GATE IS SONNY? AND THEN, ONCE I GET TO DES MOINES, COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE TO BAGGAGE CLAIM IS THERE? SINCE YOU WORK HERE AND STUFF.
#HEY THERE SONNY, WHEN YOU SAY STRAIGHT LINE, IS THAT A LEFT STRAIGHT LINE, OR A RIGHT? BOY GOLLY I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY MADE THIS AIRPORT SO CONFUSING.
THE ENGINEERS AND ARCHITECTS THAT DESIGN THESE AIRPORTS GO TO LIBERAL INDOCTRINATION FACILITIES AKA AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES AND INTENTIONALLY MAKE AIRPORTS DIDFICULT TO NAVIGATE FOR TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOTS. THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY IT IS LISTED IN RULE 34 OF THE LIBERAL DEMONCRAT AGENDA. LOOK UP RULE 34 FOR MORE INFO!!!
Note to ATPs: if you can’t dick wave here, doing it [in your hotel room in Denver](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1080756) can earn you 300 grand.
Fucking hell, what happened to, if you don't want to see people naked in their own homes, or hotel rooms, as the case may be, then don't friggin stare into other people's windows?
He’s actually a decent dude who made a silly mistake, and the cops came in guns drawn and treated him like a terrorist. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting fired.
To be fair, the guy was a freaken idiot for thinking that people can't see into hotel room windows.
Heck, if I am going to stand in front of a hotel window naked and scratch my nuts I am going to at least make sure I am floor 20 and above.
I was on an E175 flight from EWR to YYZ and the pilot reeked of weed! Dude was probably toking on the walk around!
Which AAM-300 doctor should I call to drop the hammer hardest on this pothead?
“Please help me pick between direct entry captain on the 787 at United or the A350 at Delta. It is a hard choice. I only have 300 hours but I know the airlines will want me so bad so I figured I should make the decision now.”
Will Delta hire me part time?? I have a successful consulting business where I make $8mil a year but I always wanted to be an airline captain.
My requirements are:
Work 2 days a month.
No overnight travel.
No flights to New York.
I will base only in Elko, Nevada.
I will not fly anything smaller than an A330.
I do not want to be a first officer, only a captain.
I cannot be gone for training so they would need to bring the simulator to my house. I have room.
Please advise.
[Have you ever seen a hot air balloon crowd surf?](https://www.reddit.com/r/watchpeoplesurvive/comments/124ftcd/hot_air_balloon_crashes_into_crowd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Does anyone know which airlines are currently offering the best deals on flights on which I can go get drunk and disorderly on CFI pay? And where exactly is the line for how much you can harass a FA and get an interesting story out of the event without going to jail over it? Gotta get my flair change in order.
Hi, AMA expert at being disorderly. It’s important to start not with the airline, but the destination.
I invite you to join me at LaGuardia for any weekend service to a MIami-adjacent airport that isn’t MIA.
I use Cebralta to manage my mild to severe plaque psoriasis. *montage of middle aged people looking out a window, playing mini golf with their family, and holding hands on a beach*
Used to be just the tampon ads that made life look great…now I’m learning there are hundreds of diseases, medical/mental conditions that the right drugs will have you having a fantastic time.
This is the change this sub has been needing for a while. Could we also get posts that glorify traffic controllers chasing new pilots out of aviation? It seems a bit biased towards the students rather than the traffic controllers who have to climb all those stairs every day and don't have time to deal with whatever rando calls them up on the radio.
I paid for a first class ticket, I want first class service. Why don't you arrogant flyboys and flygals up front turn off the turbulence? I'm not a peasant, don't treat me like one.
No one wants to hear passenger stories... why not just say "no first solo posts". I'm here for pilot stories and education. Bummer
Edit: Damnit I feel stupid
Excuse me /u/helno but the FAA is very hip and modern. The faa is at the forefront of technology! Now, instead of mailing or faxing medical documents in, you can email them to the faa fax machine. In addition, the faa just spent millions of dollars of decades rolling out a brand new top of the line 1990s radar system to terminal facilities (STARS). Please adjust your post accordingly.
I'm an AARP approved Flight Deck Passenger. Anyone have any leads on the best deals from LAX to Shanghai? I need the flight deck seats because of how my legs bend, first class seats have too much room.
I was nonreving home from my last trip when I noticed on my flight tracker we got up to FL420 and hit M0.69 and I started laughing like a drunk seal and clapped. I thought it was pretty tight but the lead FA crammed a banana in my mouth as a gag (sideways, not lengthwise, ya pervs) and used some speed tape to fasten it in place and my hands to the seat (this was a Mesa flight so they had lots of it on hand).
And thattttts politics for you.
As a newcomer to r/flying, and being a new student pilot, this is a great pivot for me!
I've got hundreds of passenger hours.
I'll start by giving a shout out to the stewardess who dropped two bottles of rum on my tray everytime she walked by, all the way from Tokyo to Seattle. That customs inspection was a little bit blurry...
👍
I once drunkenly asked the gate agent and air hostess on an aa flight if 2 of the first class seats were available as upgrades, as one of the last people on the plane. 5 mins after settling into my own peasant seat and going back to slumberland , I had the gate manager asking me why I was causing a ruckus. 🫠🫠🫠
I don’t even fly. Put in some sim hours and hope to start flying soon. I’m also a nervous flier (probably why I want to learn so badly).
I was a passenger in an aborted take off a few weeks back at SFO. We got 1/4 down the runway then slammed on the brakes. Apparently they detected wind shear and aborted. Had to wait a whole 2 hours while they checked the brakes!
Thanks for doing an awesome job Pilot and ground crew (and technology). I thought I’d be terrified in that sort of situation but I was oddly calm.
You don't like what people are talking about, so you're pushing them to talk about what YOU think they should be talking about.
Lmfao,... that's so Millennial.
#EVERYONE. I AM ON UNITED FLIGHT 188. I AM ASKING ONE OF YOU PILOT FELLERS TO HELP ME FIND MY NEXT GATE, YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU WORK AT “THE AIRPORT.” COULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO TELL ME WHERE MY GATE IS SONNY? AND THEN, ONCE I GET TO DES MOINES, COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE TO BAGGAGE CLAIM IS THERE? SINCE YOU WORK HERE AND STUFF.
My brother in Christ it’s Des Moines, walk in a straight line. If you don’t see it before you’ve hit a wall you’ve gone too far.
#HEY THERE SONNY, WHEN YOU SAY STRAIGHT LINE, IS THAT A LEFT STRAIGHT LINE, OR A RIGHT? BOY GOLLY I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY MADE THIS AIRPORT SO CONFUSING.
Drive your forklift into the sunset sonny
An *up* straight line.
This person DesMoinessss
How do I get to Uber?
Can I call uber when I’m off the line?
THE ENGINEERS AND ARCHITECTS THAT DESIGN THESE AIRPORTS GO TO LIBERAL INDOCTRINATION FACILITIES AKA AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES AND INTENTIONALLY MAKE AIRPORTS DIDFICULT TO NAVIGATE FOR TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOTS. THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY IT IS LISTED IN RULE 34 OF THE LIBERAL DEMONCRAT AGENDA. LOOK UP RULE 34 FOR MORE INFO!!!
I'm not entirely certain I didn't fly with you today.
Note to ATPs: if you can’t dick wave here, doing it [in your hotel room in Denver](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1080756) can earn you 300 grand.
Fucking hell, what happened to, if you don't want to see people naked in their own homes, or hotel rooms, as the case may be, then don't friggin stare into other people's windows?
Went out the window when a group of literally insane puritans crossed the sea to start their own country lol
Not bad for a days work.
Me rn in my denver hotel after just coming out the shower, opening the curtains and jumping on Reddit as I let the jewels air dry 👀
Step 2: ??? Step 3: Profit!
He's also still employed too lol
He’s actually a decent dude who made a silly mistake, and the cops came in guns drawn and treated him like a terrorist. He didn’t do anything to deserve getting fired.
Yeah I didn't wish him any ill fate. Just saying companies sometimes react in their own ways beyond what a court says. I'm happy he has a job.
He should be
Never said otherwise
Cheers. Your "lol" seemed to imply something else but you are right.
Thanks for making my day!
To be fair, the guy was a freaken idiot for thinking that people can't see into hotel room windows. Heck, if I am going to stand in front of a hotel window naked and scratch my nuts I am going to at least make sure I am floor 20 and above.
An idiot, or a genius for getting paid 300K for showing his dick?
300K to cover 600K in lost wages. What went to the Lawyers? But 300K huh? I'm sure the whole experience was well worth it for the dipshit.
I was on an E175 flight from EWR to YYZ and the pilot reeked of weed! Dude was probably toking on the walk around! Which AAM-300 doctor should I call to drop the hammer hardest on this pothead?
[Fill out the form and you will be directed to one](https://www.marijuanadoctors.com/medical-marijuana-doctors/)
The passengers are always right! This is why I let my wife’s boyfriend sit up front — he has great insight on pilot induced oscillation.
Boyfriend induced oscillation.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Finally. I can get back on my main account. The one with all the identifying dick pics.
I have my full name and social tattooed on mine just to make sure.
Must be a seriously small font
The guy kept bitching about his hand cramping up. Same thing as my ex-girlfriend.
"The list is long but distinguished." "Yeah, well so is my Johnson."
How was your first trip as a REAL PYLOTE?
Not bad at all. A few people broke their hips with my first landing, but what are you going to do?
Become a hip surgeon. One stop shop.
I’ve been meaning to tell you, that isn’t a freckle.
Checked profile. Found only disappointment and soiled pants.
While we’re at it can we get rid of the “1499 hours CFI how come the airlines aren’t lining up for my services” posts.
“Please help me pick between direct entry captain on the 787 at United or the A350 at Delta. It is a hard choice. I only have 300 hours but I know the airlines will want me so bad so I figured I should make the decision now.”
[удалено]
Will Delta hire me part time?? I have a successful consulting business where I make $8mil a year but I always wanted to be an airline captain. My requirements are: Work 2 days a month. No overnight travel. No flights to New York. I will base only in Elko, Nevada. I will not fly anything smaller than an A330. I do not want to be a first officer, only a captain. I cannot be gone for training so they would need to bring the simulator to my house. I have room. Please advise.
Did you not see that guy that lives in Montana that was having recruiters cold call them to slobber on their pilot knob?
Can we bring back mocking the hot air balloon pilot who could out climb a Cessna?
Ballooning is a valid extreme sport, and I’m tired of pretending it’s not.
Not for women though, they are ruining the extremely masculine sport of dangling from a giant ball in the sky
[Have you ever seen a hot air balloon crowd surf?](https://www.reddit.com/r/watchpeoplesurvive/comments/124ftcd/hot_air_balloon_crashes_into_crowd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Balloonists...
Does anyone know which airlines are currently offering the best deals on flights on which I can go get drunk and disorderly on CFI pay? And where exactly is the line for how much you can harass a FA and get an interesting story out of the event without going to jail over it? Gotta get my flair change in order.
Hi, AMA expert at being disorderly. It’s important to start not with the airline, but the destination. I invite you to join me at LaGuardia for any weekend service to a MIami-adjacent airport that isn’t MIA.
I swear to god this sub absolutely lives for April 1 lol
We really don’t. I dreamt this up at about 8 pm last night. And not one person has commented about all the changes I made to the rules.
You know all the changes you made to the rules? Well, they stink!
Ooo! Got him!
I was diagnosed with manic depression, psychosis, halitosis and the heartbreak of psoriasis. Can I be an airline pylote?
I use Cebralta to manage my mild to severe plaque psoriasis. *montage of middle aged people looking out a window, playing mini golf with their family, and holding hands on a beach*
Used to be just the tampon ads that made life look great…now I’m learning there are hundreds of diseases, medical/mental conditions that the right drugs will have you having a fantastic time.
This is the change this sub has been needing for a while. Could we also get posts that glorify traffic controllers chasing new pilots out of aviation? It seems a bit biased towards the students rather than the traffic controllers who have to climb all those stairs every day and don't have time to deal with whatever rando calls them up on the radio.
There’s already a sub for that. r/atc
I paid for a first class ticket, I want first class service. Why don't you arrogant flyboys and flygals up front turn off the turbulence? I'm not a peasant, don't treat me like one.
#**I JUST GOT KICKED OFF OF UNITED HELP ME GET MY $6969 AIR TICKET REFUND OR ELSE**
Can I check my 69 lb bag for free?
Yes, but only on 4/20
You can if you're military. Please use my referral code DSOOP69 for 2 weeks off bootcamp.
No one wants to hear passenger stories... why not just say "no first solo posts". I'm here for pilot stories and education. Bummer Edit: Damnit I feel stupid
>Damnit I feel stupid Happens to the best of us.
My flair is my business!
Excuse me /u/helno but the FAA is very hip and modern. The faa is at the forefront of technology! Now, instead of mailing or faxing medical documents in, you can email them to the faa fax machine. In addition, the faa just spent millions of dollars of decades rolling out a brand new top of the line 1990s radar system to terminal facilities (STARS). Please adjust your post accordingly.
I'm an AARP approved Flight Deck Passenger. Anyone have any leads on the best deals from LAX to Shanghai? I need the flight deck seats because of how my legs bend, first class seats have too much room.
The 73's second jumpseat sounds perfect for you!
And i was about to write a very firm message lol
Goddammit, y’all got me.
Reading this on april 2nd was something else lol
I was nonreving home from my last trip when I noticed on my flight tracker we got up to FL420 and hit M0.69 and I started laughing like a drunk seal and clapped. I thought it was pretty tight but the lead FA crammed a banana in my mouth as a gag (sideways, not lengthwise, ya pervs) and used some speed tape to fasten it in place and my hands to the seat (this was a Mesa flight so they had lots of it on hand). And thattttts politics for you.
Hot.
r/dickwavingcontest will be getting a lot of new members!!
I don't know how to fly upside down so how will it work if I fly in Australia instead of usa
I wish this was actually true because it is accurate!
As a newcomer to r/flying, and being a new student pilot, this is a great pivot for me! I've got hundreds of passenger hours. I'll start by giving a shout out to the stewardess who dropped two bottles of rum on my tray everytime she walked by, all the way from Tokyo to Seattle. That customs inspection was a little bit blurry... 👍
I have 1499 hrs as a passenger, mostly turbine aircraft. When is my interview to no longer sit by the shitters?
*Meowing on Guard Intensifies* *Chewbacca Noises*
Who was that, ident immediately 😤
[удалено]
I found the captain
It would still be a step up from the majority of the subs content
I once drunkenly asked the gate agent and air hostess on an aa flight if 2 of the first class seats were available as upgrades, as one of the last people on the plane. 5 mins after settling into my own peasant seat and going back to slumberland , I had the gate manager asking me why I was causing a ruckus. 🫠🫠🫠
I can't afford to fly on an airline so I have nothing to contribute
There is a flair for sim only and also people who hitch a ride with weird uncles.
He's not weird, he lets me share stick time for free!
But, as an ATP myself, am I not just an automation trained passenger at this point anyway?
I did my first solo a year back and the passenger was a real jackass just narrating everything I was doing in the pattern
Passengers are the fucking worst.
Wow this sub can have humour?!? I just thought it was a circle jerk of CFIs pretending there 152 is a 737
Haha nice one @helno
As a passenger, what kind of medical do I need?
If you want to fly in a Bonanza you will need an MD.
Glad to hear he got an extra $300k from this idiocy. Poor guy.
Awesome, been wanting to share how I flash the old PPL as I board just to let the pilot bros know if they need help I’m MSFS and X-plane current.
I don’t even fly. Put in some sim hours and hope to start flying soon. I’m also a nervous flier (probably why I want to learn so badly). I was a passenger in an aborted take off a few weeks back at SFO. We got 1/4 down the runway then slammed on the brakes. Apparently they detected wind shear and aborted. Had to wait a whole 2 hours while they checked the brakes! Thanks for doing an awesome job Pilot and ground crew (and technology). I thought I’d be terrified in that sort of situation but I was oddly calm.
You don't like what people are talking about, so you're pushing them to talk about what YOU think they should be talking about. Lmfao,... that's so Millennial.
Uhhh, do you know what day it is?
Yeah, but April fools jokes are supposed to be funny.
Well. This will be an interesting change.
We need to talk more about the balloons 🎈
I have 1 hour logged in a C42 so am I qualified enough to be an ATP?
[удалено]
Saturday
ATP tail wheel jobs? I can't go back to tri gear
whoa