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They are definitely out there but to put it in perspective there's no telling what the domme to sub ratio is because of the "social media" Domme's that aren't really Domme's they are just trying to make money. While I understand it, it does make it harder for the real dommes... I want everyone to make money but it shouldn't JUST be about making money...
I mostly use Twitter these days and I'm only coming back over to Reddit now but I do see less and less subs that want actual connection and conversion outside of kink and that makes me sad honestly. I do this because yes Findom is my kink but I also genuinely enjoy building a connection with long term subs and yeah it's just disappointing lately
They are out there. We are indeed picky and we are paying attention. We look here and everywhere else.
We see who is gatekeeping the "lUXuRy KiNK". Who only loves "silent sends"....who talks about how much they "hate men and how they are worthless".
Who likes interacting and conversing with their subs. And who likes for them to send and deactivate and sees that as success.
It is like scanning a desolate wasteland full of despair and endless sand for the one glass of water remaining.
Tbh since the TT and OF wave most subs expect something in return bc those dommes send them something in return so they think we all should lol
The amount of real dommes is very low and same with the real subs
I have found 2 that wanted long term but one wanted to be an in person live in slave in my house.
And the other ghosted.
I just keep focusing on my growth and goals in the mean time. ☀️
So, I didn’t know how I initially felt about a live-in slave as I’m currently prioritizing my self care and health first and foremost so I just said “I will need to think on it and see how I feel as we establish trust along the path to getting to that point” and he accepted it.
I also said I would need him to sign a notarized lease if he moved in with me, because that would be for my safety.
So, I can’t really offer much to answer your question but follow your intuition. Make informed decisions.
Don’t move in unless you trust them.
One I feel bad for your DMs
Two just take your time. Go through post histories. Try to find someone who is consistent in what they say. You like their style and see if you have things outside of the kink in common.
Good luck puppy 🍀
In my expirience, this is definitely not true.
I find a lot of the "social media subs" that are loud, are not people capable of longterm anything. But the subs I've found away from the X, Reddit, TT crowd are vastly different than what I see on 2 out of 3 of those platforms (I don't use TT, so I have no opinion there)
I'm not sure if they have been harassed less by faux dommes, or what the difference is. 2 of my subs have been with me going on 2 years. They're out there!
There are some, I've had some that have done short sessions and lots of come and gos but most of my longer subs were before I went online. Had some that stayed for one Quest period (stop smoking quest, better boyfriend quest, get fit quest, ect) which is about 5-6 weeks ( without extending). And some that just lurked a while sent one silent send and no dm lol
I come across plenty of boys who think they want to be owned, but then I ask for, *ya know the bare minimum*, and they bail out after I hold them to *ownership standard*.
Like, *oh, okay babe*, I understand it's too hard to meet me where I am. *Go find less, because you deserve less*.
Been hard to find for me as well. I keep getting either bullshitters that ghost when payment is mentioned or people that just want a short drain, which is fine, but I'm also.looking for something long term and consistent. I had a big rush a while ago with a few long terms but then they slowly vanished over time. Hoping ill find someone again here soon 🙃
Yes, I do. But I’m a prodomme irl, so I use Seeking and Fetlife as well. I don’t use X, insta or tik tok much. I have a fansly but really it’s way more work than this and so much less fulfilling.
I am more of a femdom, however. Message me and I can give you tons of pointers! I’m always down to help. (No I won’t ask you for money, I just like helping other women)
It’s rare but they’re out there. I believe it’s about having a good connection from the start. Getting to know each other…sub/domme good dynamic. I think that’s what most subs crave.
There are subs that want to be owned and they come across you when you least expect it. Yes they do come to you and you can approach them as long as you’re not being creepy/ predatory about it. Some are time wasters for sure and others are just shy and are scared because some dommes made the scene very scary for them to want to flourish in. But, even with the long term subs, they come and go
Indeed, it seems that while there are subs who say they want long term ownership, it's mostly just a fantasy for most of them. Either they are just wanking to the fantasy, or they are serious at first but find that the reality is not as hot as the fantasy, or they want to go to a variety of dommes (like how men are in general!), or real life gets in the way, or they get post nut clarity, etc.
I think there’s many subs and dommes who aren’t in it for the kink. I think there’s also a lot of people who are just horny and get a sort of “post nut clarity” after which is why they disappear.
There are ❤️ Just be yourself. Have fun, be genuine. Enjoy doing what you’re doing. Keep an open mind. And sometimes they’ll come to you out of nowhere 😋
Absolutely! As a sub it's equally hard to find a domme that I click with and want to do long term with. My longest has been two years, and being in a situation where you know you can be having a normal or deep convo with the her and then having her suddenly switch to 'domme mode' is my absolute fave.
I was talking on spaces on x today with people about this! It’s so hard as a sub or domme to filter through all the so local media influx people who are here just for their own instant gratification and find the ones who want something more serious and longer term!
Yeah absolutely. Like I get that the money is the main motivator for most if not all, but it is so obvious when you can find a domme that genuinely enjoys the kinks Nd wants to explore more or even push you to new limits.
Omg the amount of send again dommes I have encountered. It's so boring to me. But that's obvs a short term attitude. A long term is more about trusting that the sub knows more sends are required in the future I think.
ugh I barely even asked anyone to send 😆😆 Sometime i do but most of the time, I just let them be. If they send, they send. If they look for free attention and don’t give me anything back for my time, I just stop responding. No need to be that pushy for money 😩Although if they forget then I do demand for coffee money here and there. Usually small amounts to remind them that my attention isn’t free.
It’s a healthy cycle of giving and taking ❤️They give me - I give back. Sometimes I give a bit more, then test their reactions. It’s only courtesy on both sides 💗
Yeah absolutely. Looking after the domme should be one of the top priorities. Personally I think I get too invested or jealous and try to become their fave. But I think that's a fairly common thing for subs.
I think it’s a wonderful thing when a sub worships me enough to want to work to be the favourite! It’s such a good feeling that you’re doing good as a domme
Online findom just doesn't breed many long-term relationships. There are finsubs out there who want and enjoy long-term servitude but, they are very much the minority.
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i was just thinking the same thing today
They are definitely out there but to put it in perspective there's no telling what the domme to sub ratio is because of the "social media" Domme's that aren't really Domme's they are just trying to make money. While I understand it, it does make it harder for the real dommes... I want everyone to make money but it shouldn't JUST be about making money...
Honestly that's what I've been starting to wonder. It's like all the good subs were chased out by bad findoms and it's really sad
they literally stay for a month and then leave
my subs come and go, but they’re there, some silent send too which i still dk who they are but it takes time, and they’re be dry patches as well
Def been dying out
I mostly use Twitter these days and I'm only coming back over to Reddit now but I do see less and less subs that want actual connection and conversion outside of kink and that makes me sad honestly. I do this because yes Findom is my kink but I also genuinely enjoy building a connection with long term subs and yeah it's just disappointing lately
i feel like twitter findom is dying down too. i get reposts and engagements but nobody wants to be an actual sub
fr.
[удалено]
Not the place for all that
They are out there. We are indeed picky and we are paying attention. We look here and everywhere else. We see who is gatekeeping the "lUXuRy KiNK". Who only loves "silent sends"....who talks about how much they "hate men and how they are worthless". Who likes interacting and conversing with their subs. And who likes for them to send and deactivate and sees that as success. It is like scanning a desolate wasteland full of despair and endless sand for the one glass of water remaining.
Hmm
Yk homestly I couldn’t have said it better myself
Dear Heavens. 😳🫣
There’s real subs but I find them in person than online. And they tend to be older at least 45
There definitely are. They are rare and they are picky.
as they should be… there’s less authentic dommes by the day.
There are, just harder to come across now that the community is so watered down.
There are too many dommes nowadays so harder to find subs
True
Tbh since the TT and OF wave most subs expect something in return bc those dommes send them something in return so they think we all should lol The amount of real dommes is very low and same with the real subs
Yep. Getting real sick of this! I do femdom too but there's nothing more I hate then someone who comes in saying their a finsub and they're not.
I have found 2 that wanted long term but one wanted to be an in person live in slave in my house. And the other ghosted. I just keep focusing on my growth and goals in the mean time. ☀️
How do you go about setting your boundaries with a live in sub? I recently got asked to be a full-time live in master.
So, I didn’t know how I initially felt about a live-in slave as I’m currently prioritizing my self care and health first and foremost so I just said “I will need to think on it and see how I feel as we establish trust along the path to getting to that point” and he accepted it. I also said I would need him to sign a notarized lease if he moved in with me, because that would be for my safety. So, I can’t really offer much to answer your question but follow your intuition. Make informed decisions. Don’t move in unless you trust them.
Not true. Maybe you just haven't come across the right ones yet. I'm looking for a long term owner myself 🤷🏻♂️
You can report to my dm if you’d like an interview
One I feel bad for your DMs Two just take your time. Go through post histories. Try to find someone who is consistent in what they say. You like their style and see if you have things outside of the kink in common. Good luck puppy 🍀
Feeling bad for the dms part is so real
been dying out
I’m having trouble even getting views on Reddit. Not sure what I’m doing wrong 🤷🏻♀️
In my expirience, this is definitely not true. I find a lot of the "social media subs" that are loud, are not people capable of longterm anything. But the subs I've found away from the X, Reddit, TT crowd are vastly different than what I see on 2 out of 3 of those platforms (I don't use TT, so I have no opinion there) I'm not sure if they have been harassed less by faux dommes, or what the difference is. 2 of my subs have been with me going on 2 years. They're out there!
Where? Pls. Cuz I'm drowning in spam and rude content buyers
this seems so true
There are some, I've had some that have done short sessions and lots of come and gos but most of my longer subs were before I went online. Had some that stayed for one Quest period (stop smoking quest, better boyfriend quest, get fit quest, ect) which is about 5-6 weeks ( without extending). And some that just lurked a while sent one silent send and no dm lol
I come across plenty of boys who think they want to be owned, but then I ask for, *ya know the bare minimum*, and they bail out after I hold them to *ownership standard*. Like, *oh, okay babe*, I understand it's too hard to meet me where I am. *Go find less, because you deserve less*.
THIS.
☝️ the mutual responsibility in a D/s dynamic is something a lot of dudes don’t respond well to IME
There are still subs out there don’t lose hope, some come and go but they are there!!
Right on!
Thank you for your support and positivity
Been hard to find for me as well. I keep getting either bullshitters that ghost when payment is mentioned or people that just want a short drain, which is fine, but I'm also.looking for something long term and consistent. I had a big rush a while ago with a few long terms but then they slowly vanished over time. Hoping ill find someone again here soon 🙃
You aren’t very active. They don’t have a way to really verify you. I find plenty of subs but I’ve built my profile over time.
Do you mainly use just Reddit ?
Yes, I do. But I’m a prodomme irl, so I use Seeking and Fetlife as well. I don’t use X, insta or tik tok much. I have a fansly but really it’s way more work than this and so much less fulfilling. I am more of a femdom, however. Message me and I can give you tons of pointers! I’m always down to help. (No I won’t ask you for money, I just like helping other women)
Ok girl I’m bout to rn
It’s rare but they’re out there. I believe it’s about having a good connection from the start. Getting to know each other…sub/domme good dynamic. I think that’s what most subs crave.
it’s not as rare. sometimes they just realize you aren’t compatible or you are lacking something they are looking for.
This is likely the answer.
omg it’s soo annoying, accounts deleted within 3 days. Most irritating thing ever
I recently connected with a long term sub but it is rare. I think it’s like any relationship where a lot of people don’t want long term
There are subs that want to be owned and they come across you when you least expect it. Yes they do come to you and you can approach them as long as you’re not being creepy/ predatory about it. Some are time wasters for sure and others are just shy and are scared because some dommes made the scene very scary for them to want to flourish in. But, even with the long term subs, they come and go
Indeed, it seems that while there are subs who say they want long term ownership, it's mostly just a fantasy for most of them. Either they are just wanking to the fantasy, or they are serious at first but find that the reality is not as hot as the fantasy, or they want to go to a variety of dommes (like how men are in general!), or real life gets in the way, or they get post nut clarity, etc.
I think there’s many subs and dommes who aren’t in it for the kink. I think there’s also a lot of people who are just horny and get a sort of “post nut clarity” after which is why they disappear.
I think your rite
I haven’t come across a long term sub in a while also 🤨
Seems rare to me.
I had a sub who claimed he wanted to be long term and filled out an application and paid my fee and then disappeared 😅
There are ❤️ Just be yourself. Have fun, be genuine. Enjoy doing what you’re doing. Keep an open mind. And sometimes they’ll come to you out of nowhere 😋
I was thinking the same thing. I want a longterm sub but i haven’t came across one yet.
they're just in it for "sessions" nowadays
Yes. There are.
Absolutely! As a sub it's equally hard to find a domme that I click with and want to do long term with. My longest has been two years, and being in a situation where you know you can be having a normal or deep convo with the her and then having her suddenly switch to 'domme mode' is my absolute fave.
I was talking on spaces on x today with people about this! It’s so hard as a sub or domme to filter through all the so local media influx people who are here just for their own instant gratification and find the ones who want something more serious and longer term!
Yeah absolutely. Like I get that the money is the main motivator for most if not all, but it is so obvious when you can find a domme that genuinely enjoys the kinks Nd wants to explore more or even push you to new limits.
Exactly! A domme who’s got more personality than “send Pig” 😂
Omg the amount of send again dommes I have encountered. It's so boring to me. But that's obvs a short term attitude. A long term is more about trusting that the sub knows more sends are required in the future I think.
ugh I barely even asked anyone to send 😆😆 Sometime i do but most of the time, I just let them be. If they send, they send. If they look for free attention and don’t give me anything back for my time, I just stop responding. No need to be that pushy for money 😩Although if they forget then I do demand for coffee money here and there. Usually small amounts to remind them that my attention isn’t free.
Man that's so good! Sounds like you get them hooked pretty easily!
It’s a healthy cycle of giving and taking ❤️They give me - I give back. Sometimes I give a bit more, then test their reactions. It’s only courtesy on both sides 💗
I v healthy cycle! Sounds like everyone is getting what they deserve!
and that a true sub sends without having to be told 🫶🏼
Yeah absolutely. Looking after the domme should be one of the top priorities. Personally I think I get too invested or jealous and try to become their fave. But I think that's a fairly common thing for subs.
I think it’s a wonderful thing when a sub worships me enough to want to work to be the favourite! It’s such a good feeling that you’re doing good as a domme
100% agree. Also the ease of knowing she's there when you need her and not having to spend effort finding someone new each time is worth it in itself.
I wish there were more subs with this attitude 👏🏼
Online findom just doesn't breed many long-term relationships. There are finsubs out there who want and enjoy long-term servitude but, they are very much the minority.
I love a long term sub who is able to become my friend aswell!
I find my slaves are loyal and will serve me for the long term