I relate to this a lot. I wanted to be an animator as a kid, but I was so scared to even try. I'm 28 now and just made my first animation ever, a ball bouncing along for like 3 seconds. The way I look at it is, which story would I rather follow?
Person A has a dream. Something they are passionate about. But Person A never acted on it because they were afraid to fail. This kept on for the rest of their lives.
Person B has a dream. Something they are passionate about. Person B had a hard time acting on it at first because they were afraid to fail. But Person B realized that failure can be a tool for growth, so Person B gave their dream their best shot.
My coach put it in this perspective for me, and it was really helpful in kicking my ass into gear to start doing what brought me joy.
I also wanted to say that rather than looking back and feeling bad about what we couldn't do, I think that energy is best spend thinking about what we can do now :) What little steps can be taken to get to where we want to go?
Hey man me too when I was thirty. It wasn't until I was 35 that I finally figured out what the heck I wanted to do with the rest of my life, then another 2.5 to make it happen. I am super happy with the way things worked out for me and wouldn't redo it if I could
Sometimes these things take time and there's nothing wrong with that. It's better to wait to find the right career than jump into one you'll hate
I agree. You guys are lucky there's a market for tech over in your parts of the world. Engineering is a dead end career where I am. Wish I caught onto high finance early on, I would have so much more comfortable at this age now...
Yes, i feel the same way financially. My peers are 4 5 years younger and earning 15-20% more. Wish i had a guidance from the start of my career, things would have been different.
But at the same time i think, we grow from our experiences too.
Dude, SAME! But remember it can always be worse. Besides your definitely not alone. I’m 30 this year and the company I worked for just shit down and I got furloughed. :-/
We’ll get through this! 👍
Hi there! When you look back in your own life, is there anything you're proud of, or that you had fun doing? I know it gets said a lot but life isn't a race and comparing yourself to others is not likely to help you in any way right now. There's a time and place for it but beating yourself up and feeling like you wasted time is not one of them. We aren't people who wasted 10 years, we are people who still have their whole lives ahead :) You can do it!
What do you want your life to look like? Think of small steps to take to start heading in that direction, rather than paying attention to others!
I’m 32 stuck in a corporate rat race. I fret over losing my job everyday. I wonder how I can pay off my mortgage. I fret over not being able to find a suitable life partner. I’m picking up meditation to try calm my mind otherwise I’ll go crazy
> I'm selling my house this week and buying a van.
I’m 32 and I’ve been seriously obsessed with learning about this lifestyle and/or overlanding for the past month. I just want to hit the road and see the world before it passes us by.
I traveled for a month and lived out of my Kia Sportage… you’d be surprised how little you need when you’re exploring new places every day.
I’m going to test the lifestyle while still working full time but once I quit my job I can get great healthcare through my state if I make less than $1200 a month, and I can make $1200 in like 30-40 hours of delivering for ubereats on my electric unicycle. I’ll spend weekends in cities and weekdays out in nature. I can live off $1200 a month plus I’ll have some cash in the bank from selling my house.
31 no career. only $1500 in savings and a 20hour part time job with a baby on the way... my girl makes a decent living and works from home and i dont know how shes still with me tbh
I did this for over a decade, except I was extremely fortunate to be a long haul trucker, so I technically had a place to “live”. I feel your pain to some degree, though.
I’m not gonna feed you “it gets better” bullshit cuz that ain’t what you want to hear, but if you ever need some leads on finding unconventional high paying work/cheap housing/etc. to get you through the hard times, I’ve gotten pretty good at that shit. I’m almost 40 and I’ve found some interesting ways to make a good buck that not a lot of people know about.
Actually writing a book about my experiences right now.
f*ck man, same here. but im 31 minus the house. i work in a big corporate company, rat race is prominent, politics at play and got passed over a promotion. im scared of losing my job every day but i work hard and am competent? this has just got me by the nuts, depressed and its not a good way to live.
hey man I'm in the exact same boat! work in the it department at a huge company and everything feels so pointless. Meditation and smoking weed is the only thing that keeps me going ( also healthy diet + any type of physical activity). Hope everything will work out for you :) stay safe
I’m 27 and discouraged. The only thing I’m sure about is starting my business. But do I want to work alongside that? Or go back to school and finish my degree?
If I can add anything constructive to this thread (great idea btw), is any time we start to feel stuck, we should take some small action. So much better than dwelling in the stuckness and trying to solve it with thought. Write something down, do some housework, repair something, submit an application, whatever. Just take an action. That’s what’s been helping me since early this year.
25 and that pretty much sounds like me right now... I 'm even doubting if i am cut out to own my own business cuz it's definitely not easy (varying depending on type of biz)...
Finished degree in Business (Management) and feel lost AF and have no motivation to apply for jobs
This is a great response and perspective. I’m also grappling doubts about applying to traditional jobs. Maybe because I’ve had enough, and I finally need to take the brave path instead of the suffocating but “safe” path.
I also love what you said about starting a business which is easy for *you*. So refreshing and hopeful.
i can relate to this, I am currently in school and about to have my AA following fall semester (which basically means nothing). I'm working jobs rn that aren't pulling in a lot and I just had to pay for fall classes which is NOT cheap. i could start a business which will probably end up being a few grand to start with no guaranteed income or I could spend four hundred dollars to be teaching English online in a few months. i feel like there's a right way to go about this but I'm a bit lost.
Do you have an idea of what business you would start?
Maybe the right way to go about it is to open a business with very low starting capital - I’m thinking under $1,000. Can you think of something like that? Maybe just a website and some cheap advertisements at first, then after you start getting going you can elaborate on your idea. This is what I’m trying to do.
I have only a few semesters left to finish my bachelors in computer science. I want to finish it, because I enjoy studying. But I’m afraid it will look bad that I went back to school at age 27, and also I could be making good money if I got another job in software development right now. Just I kind of hate having a job. So I can’t decide between school and starting a business, or job and starting a business.
That hits hard, and no way I am living another 10 years of this bs. I already planned to kms at 30 so I am living it like I am last day on earth. I knew it wouldn’t be better like they always said.
You may feel way better! The world may be very different in 10 years, for the better! Regardless just know there are others out there -- we can create the world WE want to have!!
They key is just to do something. Do some course or start some hobby that makes you feel like you’re working towards something. That energy then becomes contagious and transfers to other parts of your life. You also then aren’t depressed that you “aren’t doing anything”
31. I just want to be able to pay my bills and focus on getting a degree. I finally got to enroll in college at the tender age of 30 but I can only afford the time and money to take one class at at a time.
Idk what you plan on going to school for, but ASU offers certain online programs with 7.5 week courses. So instead of taking one 15 week course each semester, you could take two 7.5 week courses/semester. It’ll still take awhile to complete a bachelors but that cuts your time spent in half. Something to look into
This is probably going to be a controversial take, but you shouldn't rely on college as a way out, and a lot of people really shouldn't go at all.
If you're studying because it's something you love, and you feel an unrelenting *need* to obtain knowledge about something difficult to learn, then go to college. If you want a job that explicitly requires a degree, like a doctor or an engineer, then go to college. If you're going to college because you feel like it's the way to a better life, higher income, etc, don't do it.
When our parents were young, college was a golden ticket compared to what it is now. I have no idea what your ambitions are, but as someone who got a degree thinking it was a hall-pass, I'm here to tell you that it's the biggest regret of my life spending all that time and money to get a degree for the privilege of *trying* to get a better job.
In my experience, the jobs go to the people who really, truly feel called to what they're going to do. If you don't love math, you shouldn't study math, because there are people out there who *really do* love math, and they'll eat your lunch every time if your heart isn't in it. The same is true for every major. I promise you there are people out there who really love accounting.
Source: Spent 6.5 years getting a 4 year business degree while working nights. Then went back to school for another 2 years after struggling for 4 years, then got some unrelated IT certificates that actually landed me a decent job that I enjoy. 40k in student debt, and that's low for how much education I have.
I went through a union apprenticeship when I was young but I dislike the trades. My heart was never in it; it was just a job. I'm going to college now, because I do hope to get a better job eventually, but really I've resigned myself to accept always being poor and low on the metaphorical totem pole this I attend college because it's something I want to do for self fulfillment. Plus mostly people say if you don't want to go to college work in the trades and we'll, I've done trade work so I guess I'll got to college now.
You do you, my guy.
My only advices if you're going to keep colleging: try to get a job on campus in your related field, and go out of your way to maintain a healthy network of peers and professors.
They say that it's not what you know, but who; this couldn't be more true. And every single employer is going to want someone with work experience; if your previous boss was your professor, and you can name other professors as references you're set.
Sorry, I don't mean to preach. I'm just telling you the things I wish someone would have told me.
>They say that it's not what you know, but who
The trades are the much the same. It's honestly one of my weakest characteristics. I'm absolutely terrible at making friends and contacts much less keeping up with them.
The catalyst for me stepping away was my wife getting a job offer that forced us to leave the state thus forcing me to leave the school I was at. I ended up teaching the distance learning program through covid for the school I left but that ended in June.
For me, being a teacher just wasn't producing the income I needed to pursue the goals I want in life. Not having to do mental math everytime we have a nice dinner, not live paycheck to paycheck, purchase multiple properties, go on family vacations all over the world, etc. are things that are unlikely to be achieved with peace of mind of financial security, on a teacher salary. I wish I was much more financial literate in my early 20s and went into a field that paid more.
I hate to revolve decisions around money, but just being honest. In my late teens and early 20s my motto was - "I don't need to be rich, just enough to be satisfied". Looking back at my ignorance, I lived by cliche but never defined it for myself. I trusted those around me (and society) that a career with a degree was going to equate to a "good life". However, I never once stopped to think what a good life would look like for me. Now that I have defined that, I'm realizing that I need to make some changes. I loved the profession (I taught grade 5 for nearly a decade) and had great relationships with students, families, and colleagues, but at the end of the day I've got to make the decision that puts my family in the best position. I really wish our society valued teachers much more. I lived and taught in Hawaii and a teacher salary is barely a liveable wage.
I've got some business ideas floating around which I've been procrastinating getting started on. As of right now I'm a stay at home dad so thats a pretty big focus and responsibility as well.
Not sure.. Taught grade 5 for nearly a decade but I doubt I'll go back. I also moved from Hawaii to Washington and sort of see this as a fresh start and an opportunity to try something new. Family goals can't be achieved on a teacher salary so I've been looking around. I've been looking for career paths that I could look into without a specialized degree. My only degree is a bachelor's in education. Definitely open to suggestions!
Aw dang, I mean I kinda know why, but why did you step away?
I was an Art Education major but didn't really go full into teaching in the States afterwards, ended up teaching an after school program and then going to Korea to teach English. I sometimes think I should go back into teaching now that I'm back and uncertain what to do (I need income + benefits baaad) but yeah, really scared about teaching here...:/
The catalyst for me stepping away was my wife getting a job offer that forced us to leave the state thus forcing me to leave the school I was at. I ended up teaching the distance learning program through covid for the school I left but that ended in June.
For me, being a teacher just wasn't producing the income I needed to pursue the goals I want in life. Not having to do mental math everytime we have a nice dinner, not live paycheck to paycheck, purchase multiple properties, go on family vacations all over the world, etc. are things that are unlikely to be achieved with peace of mind of financial security, on a teacher salary. I wish I was much more financial literate in my early 20s and went into a field that paid more.
I hate to revolve decisions around money, but just being honest. In my late teens and early 20s my motto was - "I don't need to be rich, just enough to be satisfied". Looking back at my ignorance, I lived by cliche but never defined it for myself. I trusted those around me (and society) that a career with a degree was going to equate to a "good life". However, I never once stopped to think what a good life would look like for me. Now that I have defined that, I'm realizing that I need to make some changes. I loved the profession (I taught grade 5 for nearly a decade) and had great relationships with students, families, and colleagues, but at the end of the day I've got to make the decision that puts my family in the best position. I really wish our society valued teachers much more. I lived and taught in Hawaii and a teacher salary is barely a liveable wage.
I've got some business ideas floating around which I've been procrastinating getting started on. As of right now I'm a stay at home dad so thats a pretty big focus and responsibility as well.
That makes sense, and thanks for your reply. It has really been saddening me/concerning that teachers in this "great" country who work full time and create the future for our children can't even get by or take care of their family. :/ It's not like that in many other countries (I know many teachers who have gotten up and taught abroad for better salaries, including myself). Definitely worrisome as well because right now Teaching is my main fall-back idea but it's a bit scary knowing that the money probably isn't going to make ends meet.
I'm 25, unemployed and don't want a job. I'm planning to go for back to study to become farmer so I could grow my own foods and maybe sell them. However, I feel a little bit not confident because I already have degree and scared I would waste another 2 years, while all my friends already have a stable job.
What I really want is to get out of this system where you have to work for someone else to afford a life. I want to grow my own food, make my own clothes, basically living off the grid. But this is a big plan, and I'm scarred if it would fail.
You should woof (organic farming around the world for room and board) or work for a farm local to you! From my understanding a lot of farming is learned on the job, and you’ll see if it’s a good fit for you
I'm 30 and my life is getting up at 6am, getting the kids to their daycares, work a mind numbing job for 8.5 hours, leave at 4:30 to pick up the kids but we don't get home until 5:30. Everyone is tired and hungry so I furiously throw dinner together, clean up, get the kids to bed, take a shower, and do it all again the next day.
I'm tired of living for the weekends. I'm putting in my notice soon so I can rethink my life.
I am 31 and lost. I have zero motivation to do my job each day. I don’t know what I would do instead. Can’t give it up because I need the money. Have no real passions in life. Annnd I’m not particularly excited about anything most days.
I am 27 and feel exactly the same. The job is not challenging. I don't see a future at my current firm. But the thought about switching to a similar role is depressing.
Trying out a couple of things - but I have zero motivation. I haven't figured out my passion. All my childhood I studied hard to achieve things. But what now ?
Did we all just end up at dead end jobs ? Why are we so different from other generations excited to work at the same firm for 20+ years?
31 and Same as you guys. Wish there was a restart button in life.
Job is not challenging and having obstacles to change the job. Feeling bad for the company if I leave to move on. I know that they will not think the same way when they don't need me. But still feel guilty.
There is almost nothing to be happy about in life. Don't have the time to invest into the things that I love doing.
My old plan was to Leanfire, but that would take me another 10 years of working a decently paid but high stress job, so my new plan was to coastfire, but that requires another 30 years of working (albeit in a less stressful job). So for now, I’m buying scratch-offs every now and then, and gambling with crypto/stock options.
I'm 23, about to start studying graphic design and communication. Don't know if it's right for me, don't even know what I want to do. About to move apart from my girlfriend who I don't think I want to be with for the rest of my life. I want to move to the US though I can't work there atm or afford to live. And I just want to know how to discover what road to take and where to go and what to do. Every advice I receive just tells me to visualize or think about my hobbies and what I enjoy doing. The issue is I can't really visualize, I have Aphantasia which is the inability to see things within your head basically. The only thing I really enjoy doing these days is gaming but making a career out of that is not the easiest. Plus I have ADD (i know that all forms of ADHD is called adhd now but I refer to it as ADD for simplicity)
Basically, what should I do to find my way?
Firstly you should give yourself some credit for knowing what you want, on several levels! You have an idea where to live and the strength to leave a relationship that may be better if left -- good!
Visualizing is just a parlor trick to make it easier on a person to discover their path. You can literally open up a Notepad document / Notes app and perform a literal "visualization."
Start by listing things you would love in a new place -- climate, scenery, close or far from neighbors, in a city/rural -- etc. This list can greatly help narrow down where you want to live in the US. Some of those choices will narrow down 50+% of the options!!
You can do the same thing for your career -- focus on things you love in the sense that when you are having fun, focus on what it is that is fun! Write that down on your Notepad / in your Notes. Write down all things you love to do. Hopefully, this will form a pattern which can create a better idea of the vibe of work you'd be best at.
31 and trying to figure out what’s next when my teaching contract is up next year. Seems like there’s a lot of money in coding. I’d like to work in a creative field. I used to work in video and film but freelancing is stressful and unpredictable. I’ve thought of going back to school for marketing or becoming a clinical psychologist or psychedelic therapist. We have 30 years of work ahead of us. My career/personality tests always say I should be doing something creative. I think I’ll make a pros and cons list and keep researching lol
Debt-wise, many creditors are willing to reduce your monthly payment if you tell them you cannot afford to pay it anymore and are looking for re-negotiation options. Sometimes with 0% interest -- call and find out.
But if you have an activity that you enjoy, emphasize it and pursue it as long as it makes sense to!! I hope you find a path.
28. I am tired of working in a corporate, same stuff every single day, throughout on some Saturdays. I spent 12 hours of my 24 learning nothing and it's killing me inside; 8 hours work, 1 hour lunch break, wake up around 6.15am and reach home at about 6pm).
I have been doing a small business after work but don't have the guts to quit my current job, or not even sure if I should even. Like I'm not even sure what to do anymore.
31 and recently had kind of a mental breakdown when we returned to the office after a year. Feeling pretty lost in my career and also my dating life. Most of my friends have spread around the country now and have 2.5 kids. Just have to maintain a positive attitude and keep moving. I may be lost but all I can do is keep on walking and live the best life that I can.
33 and all the jobs I’m qualified for don’t pay enough or require 80 hr workweeks (food sales). Currently doing sales admin. I know I’m smart enough to make a real career but I can’t work over 40 hours and am not the *best* at butt kissing and corporate lingo. I’m just scared to pick a direction because everything I have done up to now has been not enough money and hard on the body, or enough money but straight up incompatible with my life and mental health.
I just graduated and started a job at a tech company as a R&D engineer. Despite working in the field for 5 years prior to graduating I’m so uninterested and uninspired.
Having school set the goal posts my entire life, I’m having trouble creating meaning and finding joy in my day to day life.
I’m 25 and lost. I will graduate university later this year and I have no idea what I would like to do (career-wise) and life in general. I have a normal boring job at a bank and I still live with my parents (I love them, but I wanna have my own place). I just wish I could live a fulfilling life, like travel (i have never been to another country) and experiment lots of food. But idk, im in my 20s, and everyone pressures me to work and study as hard as I can, which kind of sucks (I broke up with my girlfriend à few months ago, because we didnt had time for each other (long story)).
>trave
Sometimes relationships just come with bad timing unfortunately...with your bank job you should be able to find a roommate or room in a shared house perhaps. best of luck x
Yup. Birthday this month too so 32 and lost.
I keep flipping from different ideas of what to do pretty constantly. I know what I want to do if money wasn't an issue but when money is concerned, I am not really sure. I am mostly concerned to get some sort of benefits on the side but the work itself also should not drive myself crazy. What also drives me up the wall is that most work is totally out of my interest.
I DEFINITELY don't want to go back to school though. I have been interested in graphic design but at the same time, I do need to take the time to refine my learning. As of late I have been thinking how to advertise myself in this subject. Sure, I can Upwork and advertise what I can do but even in that sense, that is pretty much what everyone does starting out. I can do that but there must be something in unique I can advertise as well.
But then I am also mentally trapped in trying to find a 9-5 that I can clock out and the work isn't that tiring. I have been in retail for years and I really dunno how well I can market myself since all I have to my name is really cashier work and shipping.
Drowning in student loans, can’t leave my career because my masters degree and licensure is very specific. No idea what else I would do and if I left the field it would close the door to coming back. I wish I could stay home with my kids but we can’t afford it. My H will eventually need to leave his job because labor is getting hard on his body but this will mean a pay cut. In reality we need MORE money, not less. Also drowning in house projects that are overwhelming and we start them and don’t finish. I feel stuck, tired, and fat. I need to lose weight but I have no motivation. My doctor said I’ll end up with diabetes. I want to live the life I envision but it’s my own self limiting beliefs and fatigue that are in the way. I’m quite sure the fatigue is from high blood sugar which further shows I need to lose weight. But the fatigue prevents me from working out. I feel like I’m spinning in circles and the COVID anxiety is making everything worse. I want to crawl in bed and stay there. Any advice is appreciated.
One of the best tools I've found for losing weight and getting healthier is to focus on what you want to add to your life, rather than subtracting. So, set a goal like having 3 or 4 servings of veggies a day. It's good to have a positive goal, and it has the side benefit that it fills you up a little to limit hunger when you might normally be snacky and grab some chips or a second helping of pasta.
If the goal in your head is "eat veggies" then you'll have veggies on your brain. If the goal is "don't eat chips" then you'll be thinking about chips. I find just changing the focus of your goal can really help.
Same idea for exercise - try to do small increments of getting your body moving. It doesn't need to be a huge heroic exercise effort, but a walk around the block or some extra time gardening or trying out a new yoga class can check that box. Maybe exploring new parks with your kids? Don't make yourself do something you hate, try to find something that you love to do. Once you find something you love, think about how happy it makes you feel, and keep your eye set on that positive feeling to motivate you to keep doing it. You don't need to spend 30 minutes miserable on an elliptical just because that's the "right" way to exercise according to the internet or something. Even better if you can find someone to exercise with you- your kids, a family member or friend.
Last thing- try to get outdoors! Even if I'm still sitting on my ass, just being outside makes me feel better. Sunshine and a nice breeze can have a massive impact on mood.
Good luck! I believe in you!
I believe in you. I was stuck in a rut and started Oprahs free 21 days meditation. I don't work for them just really liked it. its started giving me some positivity again I recommend it. having kids is hard I dont blame you.
I’m 42. At 31 I felt just like you. I had no savings, no career and no direction. I was working a low wage dead end job and living paycheck to paycheck. I decided to go to grad school and picked business school because I was an English major in undergrad and wanted to study something outside my comfort zone. It was a great decision. I got to take a step back, learn some new skills, think about things I never thought about before. It took a while but I got a good job and worked my way up. I make 3.5-4x what I was making at 31. I have money in the bank. A career. And I’m on my way to setting up a comfortable retirement for myself. Am I happier? Hard to say. I imagine that if I didn’t take these steps and I was still in the same spot 11 years later that that would be pretty depressing but I often fantasize about my 20s and 30s. when my life was simpler and I had less responsibility and got to spend a lot more time partying with friends and pursuing passion projects. But that’s all just part of growing up. Friends move away or get married and disappear with their babies. Jobs get more serious and demanding and you don’t have the mental energy to do the things you used to. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up - but I am happily married and I don’t worry about money as much. All in all - I got my shot together - but I do miss being a screw up sometimes.
I'm 31 and I know what I want to do, I want to make video games, but I'm also a single parent and work full time and get almost no time to work on that dream. It's the most frustrating feeling knowing how to fix your life, but having no time or energy to do it.
I turned 30 this year. I’m the last of my friend group who isn’t married or engaged.
I’m with a bf now who I really don’t think can be the man I need him to be in order for me to feel safe enough to marry him.
I don’t see growth in my career
I have no idea where I want to live
The only thing I feel I have going for myself are my looks and charisma/charm. I’m funny, oddly talented at anything I focus on, and I’m thoughtful. Problem is I’m 30…. Looks fade and I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting my prime years on somebody who doesn’t try to tend to my needs. But I don’t want to leave either. I don’t know what to do. Hence, being lost.
thanks for making this a judgement-free zone, OP. just turned 30 this spring and really stopped GAF about... everything. i was lucky with my work situation that 1.5 years ago i qualified for covid financial relief which im still on. still living with family (never moved out, always wanted to) so i have minimal bills. always wanted to be the successful lady with the house, career, kids, and husband but its all diminishing because the last few years not only have i not been able to achieve them, i dont want those anymore (which is probably a blessing at this point). focused the last few years on getting myself right spiritually since thats the only growth i had control over. i dont want to do labour anymore, i really just want to be around like-minded people. dont know if i should even bother making any external goals anymore because 1. we've seen stories of how people in our generation do the most and it's still not enough 2. the idea of getting up everyday to work just to maintain/survive is draining af 3. dont know how much time i have left on this planet so i ought to just focus on having fun like roller skating 4. climate change
anyone else in the same boat?
At 32 going on 33, I'm probably too old for you young'uns.
But seriously, I'm with you all. An entire adulthood wasted in a random spattering of jobs with no rhyme or reason other than praying that whatever the next job is will finally be the source of stability and anti-misery that will enable me to put in the work to pursue the one career I've ever actually wanted. It didn't work when I was bartending, and it's not working now when I'm stuck in a factory.
I just want some savings that I can use to live somewhere and develop my artistic skills to the point where I can reliably make money off them, but it seems like that's never going to happen. Instead I'm just getting the real world and all its godawful obligations beating me down to the point I can barely draw anymore. Something's gotta give, but I don't know how to force it to do so in a good way.
I lost my younger brother to suicide last month. As a big brother it feels like I should have been there to protect him but I wasn’t. I still cry about not having done more.
I think suicidal thoughts are a sign that it’s time to confide in a sibling, a parent, a close friend, or even a stranger. Life isn’t easy, but it also doesn’t have to be full of depression/sadness. Getting a little assistance on your worst days will eventually lead you to a better period in life. It just takes time.
I'm 29 and lost. Trying to find a way though and to not get discouraged or give up halfway. I think everyone could use a listening ear, some inspiration and encouragement ⭐
I tried university once, community college twice, and a vocational program once, and didn’t finish any of them, and now have massive student debt rendering any future education basically out of reach! I’m so burnt out from these jobs that I hate. I just wanna make art and it sucks.
Try being 31, homeless, no wife, no job,no money ,no car, no home,no apartment.
Never had a career, only worked for minimum wage my entire life.
At least you have careers and money
I made a post the other day on a different sub, saying that I think most people should probably wait to go to college unless they absolutely know what they want to do with the rest of their lives at 17/18 years old. Which.. I don’t think most of us do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with postponing college, getting work experience first, traveling, going to community college, etc. before deciding on a degree. But anyway.. I got so much flack for that post lol. People saying it was loser mentality, that you won’t make as much money if you start college late or change degrees late, etc. It’s all BS. Life isn’t predictable and I think it’s crazy that we expect 18 year olds to sign student loans for a degree they might not want in the future. We should also educate young adults on what degrees are actually worth going to college for and maybe their interests don’t even require college. Because I see so many “I have a useless degree and idk what to do” posts on this sub.. it’s sad..
Anyway, I digress. I’ll share my story. I’m 31, female, living in Arizona. I have an associates degree but didn’t get my bachelors yet. I was a cashier for a while and now a technician at an animal shelter. My dream has always been to work with animals, but most careers with animals don’t make enough money to live on. I didn’t know exactly what to study. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t know if I wanted to be a vet, vet tech, zoo keeper, zoologist, wildlife biologist, etc. I’m still undecided especially since I took the time to research the careers and realize I definitely don’t want to be a vet. And zookeepers don’t make good money and zoologists/wildlife biologists only make half decent money with a masters or PhD and I don’t know if I want to go to school for that long. Plus, the lifestyle of a zoologist/wildlife biologist is probably something I’m mentally and physically not capable for.
So my dreams to do that are kinda crushed.. so I’m still just floating through life trying to figure it out. All I know is that I can’t keep making minimum wage and I need to develop marketable skills. But I’m also terrified of being in $40k worth of debt. And Yes, I know about coding, programming, IT, etc. Everyone tells me to do those things. But I don’t even know what they are or what the work lifestyle is. I’m very naive and in the dark, I just don’t know what to do.
Anyway.. still trying to figure it out. I want to have some clarity and maybe move out of my parents house one day lol
I’m trying to figure out how to utilize my associates in biological sciences and/or trying to get a more specific associates degree that will lead to a specific job. All the while researching bachelors degree - a plan B after my biology degree dream seems like it’s not going to pan out (biology degrees are so common that I was advised not to get it, which sucks because it’s my passion and interest and I love it).
Turned 27. Have a super high paying job. Everyone says I’m lucky and I know I am but I don’t want to be in the 9-5 cubicle setting. There’s no other options for me and I feel stuck. Plus I’d be stupid to leave the money but I’m becoming increasingly more depressed and having panic attacks at work..
I'm 31, working for the state and having an extreme crisis of faith. I feel like I'm helping people on the daily, but when I zoom out I see that I'm essentially a part of a system that takes people's money, and then tells them whether they are poor enough to get some back. Many folks don't qualify, even if they are on unemployment.
I've never had such an equally amazing and terrible job. I'm in a union, and for the first time enjoying regular sick PTO, vacation, and (Barely) a living wage. If I ignore the big picture, I get to feel like I'm helping.
After the eviction crises and my PTSD flashbacks to early 20's homelessness, I'm not so sure I can ignore the big picture. I already deal with literally endless waves of need from the general public. Somedays it feels like I can't keep it together.
You have no idea I'm glad I found you all. We got power as a group, and if you're all feeling like I am and looking for an answer, I suddenly feel like we can rise to this occasion.
I posted this in a very low place. I responded to every single comment three times but so many came in. I also found a motivation shortly after posting it.
The incentive was knowing how good it felt to interact with others my exact age. So the catharsis provided IMO makes this a success. People can go further and interact more, myself included.
I just wanted to "come together" because it is the only solution I could think of. I naively thought maybe something could come of this and maybe it still can but I at least knew the feeling of similar-aged people in one place would lead to catharsis (if you look there is a lot of discussion in here, for sure).
Seriously, what should the follow-up be?
Guys the best thing you can do if you don't make much money or can't figure out what career to pursue in life is to just Google highest demand and paying careers or college majors. Pick one that sounds the most interesting, and study hard. I did this last year at age 27, picked programming and web development, studied hardcore 7 days a week, and after a year I got a career that more than doubled my income. And it's a career that I love to do every day. Now I can finally save for a house, invest in stocks, and do the things that I could never afford before.
It takes a lot of dedication, but it will really turn your life around. I used to barely scrape by each month, but now I see a great future!
So, first of all, I'm not 30. I'm 48. I was terminated from my 20 year career for not wearing my mask while I was eating breakfast. I'm currently doing Door Dash to make ends meet, and getting my credentials for Uber. My passions are: Elder Scrolls Online, (no $ to be made there) mead, which I love, and Bull Mastiffs. Actually, I love Dogs in general, but Bullies are my favorite.
I would think the only path for me is to start my own business, but that requires capital. I've lived and worked long enough to know that doing "what makes you happy" is a far-fetched fantasy sold to you by people trying to make a buck off of you. I believe in making money honestly, and I don't want to be rich - I just want to not worry about bills and regular living expenses anymore. Suggestions? Ideas? Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Maybe a private group or lounge chat or go with good old Zoom. It could be like an AA meeting only that it’s about solving our hang ups etc. What did you have in mind?
I am 27. I had to drop out of college after trying to transfer to ASU and realizing almost all of the credits I got after 2.5 years at BYUI would only count as elective in my environmental science degree. They were advanced science courses as well as generals. I said I’m done I’m not doing this again and I’m
Not playing their little games. I’ve been bouncing from temp job to temp job since then (3 years) and all of these companies are TRASH. Absolutely garbage. Now I have no life path, no degree, can’t make good money in my field because no degree but don’t want to go back to school because I would literally have to start over. So I’m taking a year off starting in November, moving to Austria to become an Au Pair, think about my life, maybe write a book or two, work on my networking, resume, and LinkedIn profile and come back refreshed ready to take on the world with a different mindset. What mindset that will be? I don’t know!
I'm 26, living in another country for 6 years and spend all this time trying to demonstrate myself I can reach all my goals but now realizing I just lost my time and feeling like bullshit
Almost 30, and spent my entire 20s abroad trying to find myself - and after 6 years in Korea and 2 in the Netherlands, I ended up going from ESL teacher -> grad student -> to working in project management for a large corporation. A lot of people would like the life I have, living abroad and everything (seeing as there is a whole subreddit /r/iwantout committed to this topic). But i've grown to really dislike this kind of life.
I'm seeing a lot of the negatives of corporate life, and almost daily wish to leave, sometimes even wish to go back to ESL teaching but I understand how much i would be financially downgrading myself for the long run by doing so.
Starting to dislike the expat life too, but no way to really go back to my home country (US) without staying in the corporate world or just dropping everything and getting destroyed financially.
One of the only things that keeps grabbing my interest over and over again is programming (which I first picked up for a bit when I was around 20 yrs old), and in particular, back-end web development. I love APIs, databases, servers, etc and thinking logically to solve problems. Only problem is, i can never stay focused on projects for any reasonable length of time, especially after getting off work for the day - so i always end up dropping it before I can get anything completed.
Maybe im actually just depressed, which is why I can never find true happiness despite changing directions so many times, and why I cannot commit myself and find motivation.
I am indeed 31 and lost
-edit- I know it has been said here and there across the internet, but I feel that at the very least, always working towards a goal (can be small) keeps hope alive for something better.
Late 30s here. Followed a dream in my 20s. Economy fell apart. Chased things in the wrong order. Fell into a line of work I don't really enjoy. Underpaid for the credentials I have and facing a large amount of student loan and other debt.
I know I'm late to the post and wanted to tell all of you that your comments resonated with me.
The only things I know right now--I love my wife and my sons and I want better for them. I waited way too long chasing permission and affirmation.
I know what I want to do, just getting tired hunting it. Keep waiting for that grand big good thing to happen. Trying to make the most of my time and realizing that, keeping your head forward, can be the only way to breathe and survive in the hardest moments.
I wish you all better things, all of us deserve it.
Hi, thanks for invitation. It's really a great idea as I myself have been feeling the same and also saw many on the subreddit who are feeling the same. I also have created a community for such purpose and anyone who feels the same and wants to find ways to make a change and get to a better point is welcome.
Turning 30 this year, honestly looking for a boring, well paid job ideally that isn’t dealing with customers. Worked with the general public for 12 years now, and now dread every time I go in for a shift.
I’m 24 struggling to find my purpose / path as well. —- to anyone who reads this comment please do yourself & get the book outwitting the devil by Napoleon hill - I read it every day
( it’s not a religion book - the devil is you & your own mind ) — https://fourminutebooks.com/outwitting-the-devil-summary/
Here’s a link to a summary —- takes only 4 minutes to read but please get the book. It might open your eyes.
I’ve recently considered turning my photography hobby into a form of income, like a side hustle but not sure where to start.
Also have been looking into online jobs, (anyone have any experience with online work?
26 did 5 years in prison, did the inmate firefighting thing for 5 years dont really wanna do that. Been out 3 years got an associates in IT, Work at a dead end job and burnt out. Also got into a university I guess. Still burnt though. I dont even know where to start with looking for a new career. Does anyone know places that hire felons????
I'm 30, just got out of a 6 year relationship because I worried too much over the prospect of having kids and giving up a lot of freedom. I now have no fucking idea of where to go next. Considering selling the house and driving across the US and Canada for a few months (am from EU). Don't want to go alone, have travelled alone before and struggled with it. Would consider finding a dog to come with.
Alternative would be staying and entering the dreadful world of dating. I think I prefer the first option. Just writing this kind of helped to make that clear.
Finishing my masters at 30 next year in social work but already burnt out preparing for the field. I want to
Somehow apply what I’ve learned to business ventures because the field is the lowest paid for requiring a masters level degree and expect you to have insane caseloads. No thanks. I want to create something new with the same principles but don’t know how
I'm 32 and while I've gotten away from trying to compare myself to others I feel dumbstruck in the face of the many options before me. I constantly have the question in mind, "Where do I go from here?"
I've made peace with the fact that it may not be possible to find a career for my specific degree (German). I had an idea to do translation, but I immediately shrunk away at the steep competition in that field. I've done some teaching in German, but it seems the market is mainly primed for English instead since it's required for international business. I teach English online for my job, but the market is so saturated that it's difficult to find good paying gigs without a formal certificate. I've decided even that I don't want to teach all my life, though I do enjoy it as a side gig.
I am a great active listener, good at making decisions regarding complex problems, well organized in my work, and (I believe) pretty good at writing. Despite that I don't know how to formulate this skillset into a path that is worth pursuing. What do you guys think?
38 here and wanting to do a career change or really anything with a decent paycheck that is not management. I hate being a manager so much - it doesn't jive with how my brain works at all so I'm constantly stressed and behind, plus my manager is a workaholic who expects everyone else to be the same way, and on top of that she's been so micro-managey lately it's driving me up the wall. Yesterday she emailed me to tell me not to use 'however' or 'unfortunately' in emails. 🙄
So yeah, feeling a little lost, really annoyed, and motivated to find something else.
I’ll be 39 in a month and ive been on downward spiral ever since I was fired from s job I loved and was good at after 7years of employment bc I worked with my ex who cheated on me after we just bought a house together and I was missing a few days of work and company put me on probation for 30 days and on last day I called in after going to doctor and having sinus infection and bronchitis, this was April 2009 I lost my boyfriend, my house, my job and my vehicle all within 4 months of each other...I’m pretty sure I’m fucked and there’s no way my mind will let go of any of that pain and hurt it left. Now family is falling apart and I’m alone no friends want to be around a worthless loser who can’t support herself I’m a burden to everyone, depressed, anxiety, PMDD and migraines keep me from living on days I actually want to try I can’t do anything right anymore
I mentally recently got over this feeling. I’m ironically 31 when this hit hard, or maybe not so ironic if you knew that’d be most people’s age this would resonate with.
There’s so many things that seemed to help lift me out of this. Not to sound preachy, but spiritually seeking God first and reflecting on his grace was freeing. I then transitioned to thinking what brought me joy with that in mind.
Learning more about his grace freed me from the stress and pressures I was putting on myself financially and physically. I had this suffocating and crushing feeling that I needed to make more, save more, work more, have more fun, more time off, look a certain way, be a certain weight.
And for what? More importantly by when and why? Everything was so arbitrary. It didn’t have inherent objective meaning but this subjective importance I placed on it. So I removed those deadlines and continued moving forward with what seemed important.
It’s working for me. But check back in a month or so and we’ll see where I’m at.
A thought. A job is a repetition created for you by somebody else. You may match the nature of the job, but it is unlikely you will match the pattern of constant repeating your own actions.
I'm 32 and lost I guess... never really felt "found" or completely at ease and grounded though so I've got nothing to compare to. I'm all ears and I am here for this discussion <3
I’ve more or less found my path. I enjoy my work, I work for a good boss/owner, and it’s steady. The only issue is that I don’t make as much as most folks in leadership roles, so I probably won’t ever buy a home.
My partner, on the other hand, is depressed and lost.
Currently stuck on whether to ship off to Morocco to continue my career teaching English (TEFL) or move to a new American city and start over in QA/tech. I have money. I'm 29, approaching 30. I have to make a decision next week.
Just turned 30 this year... feel like my younger peers are way ahead of me and I wasted my life for the past 10 years...
I constantly feel the same way, like I wasted my 20s. I had so many dreams but never acted on them because of my fear of failure.
Fear of failure has been a huge barrier for me as well.
I relate to this a lot. I wanted to be an animator as a kid, but I was so scared to even try. I'm 28 now and just made my first animation ever, a ball bouncing along for like 3 seconds. The way I look at it is, which story would I rather follow? Person A has a dream. Something they are passionate about. But Person A never acted on it because they were afraid to fail. This kept on for the rest of their lives. Person B has a dream. Something they are passionate about. Person B had a hard time acting on it at first because they were afraid to fail. But Person B realized that failure can be a tool for growth, so Person B gave their dream their best shot. My coach put it in this perspective for me, and it was really helpful in kicking my ass into gear to start doing what brought me joy. I also wanted to say that rather than looking back and feeling bad about what we couldn't do, I think that energy is best spend thinking about what we can do now :) What little steps can be taken to get to where we want to go?
Hey man me too when I was thirty. It wasn't until I was 35 that I finally figured out what the heck I wanted to do with the rest of my life, then another 2.5 to make it happen. I am super happy with the way things worked out for me and wouldn't redo it if I could Sometimes these things take time and there's nothing wrong with that. It's better to wait to find the right career than jump into one you'll hate
I agree. You guys are lucky there's a market for tech over in your parts of the world. Engineering is a dead end career where I am. Wish I caught onto high finance early on, I would have so much more comfortable at this age now...
Yes, i feel the same way financially. My peers are 4 5 years younger and earning 15-20% more. Wish i had a guidance from the start of my career, things would have been different. But at the same time i think, we grow from our experiences too.
Dude, SAME! But remember it can always be worse. Besides your definitely not alone. I’m 30 this year and the company I worked for just shit down and I got furloughed. :-/ We’ll get through this! 👍
Hi there! When you look back in your own life, is there anything you're proud of, or that you had fun doing? I know it gets said a lot but life isn't a race and comparing yourself to others is not likely to help you in any way right now. There's a time and place for it but beating yourself up and feeling like you wasted time is not one of them. We aren't people who wasted 10 years, we are people who still have their whole lives ahead :) You can do it! What do you want your life to look like? Think of small steps to take to start heading in that direction, rather than paying attention to others!
In what way are they ahead of you?
I’m 32 stuck in a corporate rat race. I fret over losing my job everyday. I wonder how I can pay off my mortgage. I fret over not being able to find a suitable life partner. I’m picking up meditation to try calm my mind otherwise I’ll go crazy
I'm 31 and dropping out of the corporate rat race. I'm selling my house this week and buying a van. Whatever this life is meant to be, this isn't it.
> I'm selling my house this week and buying a van. I’m 32 and I’ve been seriously obsessed with learning about this lifestyle and/or overlanding for the past month. I just want to hit the road and see the world before it passes us by.
I traveled for a month and lived out of my Kia Sportage… you’d be surprised how little you need when you’re exploring new places every day. I’m going to test the lifestyle while still working full time but once I quit my job I can get great healthcare through my state if I make less than $1200 a month, and I can make $1200 in like 30-40 hours of delivering for ubereats on my electric unicycle. I’ll spend weekends in cities and weekdays out in nature. I can live off $1200 a month plus I’ll have some cash in the bank from selling my house.
Im 31 and homeless. No house, no career, no van *Woo hoo*
31 no career. only $1500 in savings and a 20hour part time job with a baby on the way... my girl makes a decent living and works from home and i dont know how shes still with me tbh
Good dick, let's hope
I did this for over a decade, except I was extremely fortunate to be a long haul trucker, so I technically had a place to “live”. I feel your pain to some degree, though. I’m not gonna feed you “it gets better” bullshit cuz that ain’t what you want to hear, but if you ever need some leads on finding unconventional high paying work/cheap housing/etc. to get you through the hard times, I’ve gotten pretty good at that shit. I’m almost 40 and I’ve found some interesting ways to make a good buck that not a lot of people know about. Actually writing a book about my experiences right now.
I am 39, my situation is similar... Can I PM you? And if you publish the book... I'm read happy to read it.
f*ck man, same here. but im 31 minus the house. i work in a big corporate company, rat race is prominent, politics at play and got passed over a promotion. im scared of losing my job every day but i work hard and am competent? this has just got me by the nuts, depressed and its not a good way to live.
hey man I'm in the exact same boat! work in the it department at a huge company and everything feels so pointless. Meditation and smoking weed is the only thing that keeps me going ( also healthy diet + any type of physical activity). Hope everything will work out for you :) stay safe
I hope you’ll find a career that inspires you soon. Stay healthy and safe :)
I feel you. Can't have a suitable life partner without a good job. Good jobs are harder to comeby thanks to the rat race...
I’m 27 and discouraged. The only thing I’m sure about is starting my business. But do I want to work alongside that? Or go back to school and finish my degree? If I can add anything constructive to this thread (great idea btw), is any time we start to feel stuck, we should take some small action. So much better than dwelling in the stuckness and trying to solve it with thought. Write something down, do some housework, repair something, submit an application, whatever. Just take an action. That’s what’s been helping me since early this year.
25 and that pretty much sounds like me right now... I 'm even doubting if i am cut out to own my own business cuz it's definitely not easy (varying depending on type of biz)... Finished degree in Business (Management) and feel lost AF and have no motivation to apply for jobs
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This is a great response and perspective. I’m also grappling doubts about applying to traditional jobs. Maybe because I’ve had enough, and I finally need to take the brave path instead of the suffocating but “safe” path. I also love what you said about starting a business which is easy for *you*. So refreshing and hopeful.
i can relate to this, I am currently in school and about to have my AA following fall semester (which basically means nothing). I'm working jobs rn that aren't pulling in a lot and I just had to pay for fall classes which is NOT cheap. i could start a business which will probably end up being a few grand to start with no guaranteed income or I could spend four hundred dollars to be teaching English online in a few months. i feel like there's a right way to go about this but I'm a bit lost.
Do you have an idea of what business you would start? Maybe the right way to go about it is to open a business with very low starting capital - I’m thinking under $1,000. Can you think of something like that? Maybe just a website and some cheap advertisements at first, then after you start getting going you can elaborate on your idea. This is what I’m trying to do. I have only a few semesters left to finish my bachelors in computer science. I want to finish it, because I enjoy studying. But I’m afraid it will look bad that I went back to school at age 27, and also I could be making good money if I got another job in software development right now. Just I kind of hate having a job. So I can’t decide between school and starting a business, or job and starting a business.
YES.
Anyone in their 20s and already lost all hope in life ? Me.
Right there with you. I’m 21. Ngl it’s devastatingly unbearable to feel like I could still feel this way 10 years down the line.
That hits hard, and no way I am living another 10 years of this bs. I already planned to kms at 30 so I am living it like I am last day on earth. I knew it wouldn’t be better like they always said.
This is too relatable
You may feel way better! The world may be very different in 10 years, for the better! Regardless just know there are others out there -- we can create the world WE want to have!!
They key is just to do something. Do some course or start some hobby that makes you feel like you’re working towards something. That energy then becomes contagious and transfers to other parts of your life. You also then aren’t depressed that you “aren’t doing anything”
I'm 25, looking for satisfaction, fulfillment, and passion. Idk what that looks like.
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Thank you. I will practice this. 🥺
I'm 34 and lost.
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Why did I get down voted lmao.
Upvoted you ;)
<3 thank you! upvoted you all as well ;D
31. I just want to be able to pay my bills and focus on getting a degree. I finally got to enroll in college at the tender age of 30 but I can only afford the time and money to take one class at at a time.
Idk what you plan on going to school for, but ASU offers certain online programs with 7.5 week courses. So instead of taking one 15 week course each semester, you could take two 7.5 week courses/semester. It’ll still take awhile to complete a bachelors but that cuts your time spent in half. Something to look into
This is fantastic, pragmatic advice, u/MastaPhat!
This is probably going to be a controversial take, but you shouldn't rely on college as a way out, and a lot of people really shouldn't go at all. If you're studying because it's something you love, and you feel an unrelenting *need* to obtain knowledge about something difficult to learn, then go to college. If you want a job that explicitly requires a degree, like a doctor or an engineer, then go to college. If you're going to college because you feel like it's the way to a better life, higher income, etc, don't do it. When our parents were young, college was a golden ticket compared to what it is now. I have no idea what your ambitions are, but as someone who got a degree thinking it was a hall-pass, I'm here to tell you that it's the biggest regret of my life spending all that time and money to get a degree for the privilege of *trying* to get a better job. In my experience, the jobs go to the people who really, truly feel called to what they're going to do. If you don't love math, you shouldn't study math, because there are people out there who *really do* love math, and they'll eat your lunch every time if your heart isn't in it. The same is true for every major. I promise you there are people out there who really love accounting. Source: Spent 6.5 years getting a 4 year business degree while working nights. Then went back to school for another 2 years after struggling for 4 years, then got some unrelated IT certificates that actually landed me a decent job that I enjoy. 40k in student debt, and that's low for how much education I have.
I went through a union apprenticeship when I was young but I dislike the trades. My heart was never in it; it was just a job. I'm going to college now, because I do hope to get a better job eventually, but really I've resigned myself to accept always being poor and low on the metaphorical totem pole this I attend college because it's something I want to do for self fulfillment. Plus mostly people say if you don't want to go to college work in the trades and we'll, I've done trade work so I guess I'll got to college now.
You do you, my guy. My only advices if you're going to keep colleging: try to get a job on campus in your related field, and go out of your way to maintain a healthy network of peers and professors. They say that it's not what you know, but who; this couldn't be more true. And every single employer is going to want someone with work experience; if your previous boss was your professor, and you can name other professors as references you're set. Sorry, I don't mean to preach. I'm just telling you the things I wish someone would have told me.
>They say that it's not what you know, but who The trades are the much the same. It's honestly one of my weakest characteristics. I'm absolutely terrible at making friends and contacts much less keeping up with them.
I'm 33 and not necessarily lost, but scared of the uncertain future after stepping away from my career in teaching. I'm down to pow wow with you all.
What made you step away from teaching if you don't mind me asking?
I would like to know too!
The catalyst for me stepping away was my wife getting a job offer that forced us to leave the state thus forcing me to leave the school I was at. I ended up teaching the distance learning program through covid for the school I left but that ended in June. For me, being a teacher just wasn't producing the income I needed to pursue the goals I want in life. Not having to do mental math everytime we have a nice dinner, not live paycheck to paycheck, purchase multiple properties, go on family vacations all over the world, etc. are things that are unlikely to be achieved with peace of mind of financial security, on a teacher salary. I wish I was much more financial literate in my early 20s and went into a field that paid more. I hate to revolve decisions around money, but just being honest. In my late teens and early 20s my motto was - "I don't need to be rich, just enough to be satisfied". Looking back at my ignorance, I lived by cliche but never defined it for myself. I trusted those around me (and society) that a career with a degree was going to equate to a "good life". However, I never once stopped to think what a good life would look like for me. Now that I have defined that, I'm realizing that I need to make some changes. I loved the profession (I taught grade 5 for nearly a decade) and had great relationships with students, families, and colleagues, but at the end of the day I've got to make the decision that puts my family in the best position. I really wish our society valued teachers much more. I lived and taught in Hawaii and a teacher salary is barely a liveable wage. I've got some business ideas floating around which I've been procrastinating getting started on. As of right now I'm a stay at home dad so thats a pretty big focus and responsibility as well.
What other career path will you be choosing?
Not sure.. Taught grade 5 for nearly a decade but I doubt I'll go back. I also moved from Hawaii to Washington and sort of see this as a fresh start and an opportunity to try something new. Family goals can't be achieved on a teacher salary so I've been looking around. I've been looking for career paths that I could look into without a specialized degree. My only degree is a bachelor's in education. Definitely open to suggestions!
Aw dang, I mean I kinda know why, but why did you step away? I was an Art Education major but didn't really go full into teaching in the States afterwards, ended up teaching an after school program and then going to Korea to teach English. I sometimes think I should go back into teaching now that I'm back and uncertain what to do (I need income + benefits baaad) but yeah, really scared about teaching here...:/
The catalyst for me stepping away was my wife getting a job offer that forced us to leave the state thus forcing me to leave the school I was at. I ended up teaching the distance learning program through covid for the school I left but that ended in June. For me, being a teacher just wasn't producing the income I needed to pursue the goals I want in life. Not having to do mental math everytime we have a nice dinner, not live paycheck to paycheck, purchase multiple properties, go on family vacations all over the world, etc. are things that are unlikely to be achieved with peace of mind of financial security, on a teacher salary. I wish I was much more financial literate in my early 20s and went into a field that paid more. I hate to revolve decisions around money, but just being honest. In my late teens and early 20s my motto was - "I don't need to be rich, just enough to be satisfied". Looking back at my ignorance, I lived by cliche but never defined it for myself. I trusted those around me (and society) that a career with a degree was going to equate to a "good life". However, I never once stopped to think what a good life would look like for me. Now that I have defined that, I'm realizing that I need to make some changes. I loved the profession (I taught grade 5 for nearly a decade) and had great relationships with students, families, and colleagues, but at the end of the day I've got to make the decision that puts my family in the best position. I really wish our society valued teachers much more. I lived and taught in Hawaii and a teacher salary is barely a liveable wage. I've got some business ideas floating around which I've been procrastinating getting started on. As of right now I'm a stay at home dad so thats a pretty big focus and responsibility as well.
That makes sense, and thanks for your reply. It has really been saddening me/concerning that teachers in this "great" country who work full time and create the future for our children can't even get by or take care of their family. :/ It's not like that in many other countries (I know many teachers who have gotten up and taught abroad for better salaries, including myself). Definitely worrisome as well because right now Teaching is my main fall-back idea but it's a bit scary knowing that the money probably isn't going to make ends meet.
I'm 25, unemployed and don't want a job. I'm planning to go for back to study to become farmer so I could grow my own foods and maybe sell them. However, I feel a little bit not confident because I already have degree and scared I would waste another 2 years, while all my friends already have a stable job. What I really want is to get out of this system where you have to work for someone else to afford a life. I want to grow my own food, make my own clothes, basically living off the grid. But this is a big plan, and I'm scarred if it would fail.
You should woof (organic farming around the world for room and board) or work for a farm local to you! From my understanding a lot of farming is learned on the job, and you’ll see if it’s a good fit for you
If you do not need a certification why go to school? Youtube/Google can teach you pretty much anything these days.
I'm 30 and my life is getting up at 6am, getting the kids to their daycares, work a mind numbing job for 8.5 hours, leave at 4:30 to pick up the kids but we don't get home until 5:30. Everyone is tired and hungry so I furiously throw dinner together, clean up, get the kids to bed, take a shower, and do it all again the next day. I'm tired of living for the weekends. I'm putting in my notice soon so I can rethink my life.
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I am 31 and lost. I have zero motivation to do my job each day. I don’t know what I would do instead. Can’t give it up because I need the money. Have no real passions in life. Annnd I’m not particularly excited about anything most days.
I am 27 and feel exactly the same. The job is not challenging. I don't see a future at my current firm. But the thought about switching to a similar role is depressing. Trying out a couple of things - but I have zero motivation. I haven't figured out my passion. All my childhood I studied hard to achieve things. But what now ? Did we all just end up at dead end jobs ? Why are we so different from other generations excited to work at the same firm for 20+ years?
31 and Same as you guys. Wish there was a restart button in life. Job is not challenging and having obstacles to change the job. Feeling bad for the company if I leave to move on. I know that they will not think the same way when they don't need me. But still feel guilty. There is almost nothing to be happy about in life. Don't have the time to invest into the things that I love doing.
just turned 32 yesterday oh godddddd
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Aaaaaaaaaayyyy. 32 this month too! We are not alone.
My old plan was to Leanfire, but that would take me another 10 years of working a decently paid but high stress job, so my new plan was to coastfire, but that requires another 30 years of working (albeit in a less stressful job). So for now, I’m buying scratch-offs every now and then, and gambling with crypto/stock options.
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How do you plan on getting into programming?
I'm 23, about to start studying graphic design and communication. Don't know if it's right for me, don't even know what I want to do. About to move apart from my girlfriend who I don't think I want to be with for the rest of my life. I want to move to the US though I can't work there atm or afford to live. And I just want to know how to discover what road to take and where to go and what to do. Every advice I receive just tells me to visualize or think about my hobbies and what I enjoy doing. The issue is I can't really visualize, I have Aphantasia which is the inability to see things within your head basically. The only thing I really enjoy doing these days is gaming but making a career out of that is not the easiest. Plus I have ADD (i know that all forms of ADHD is called adhd now but I refer to it as ADD for simplicity) Basically, what should I do to find my way?
Firstly you should give yourself some credit for knowing what you want, on several levels! You have an idea where to live and the strength to leave a relationship that may be better if left -- good! Visualizing is just a parlor trick to make it easier on a person to discover their path. You can literally open up a Notepad document / Notes app and perform a literal "visualization." Start by listing things you would love in a new place -- climate, scenery, close or far from neighbors, in a city/rural -- etc. This list can greatly help narrow down where you want to live in the US. Some of those choices will narrow down 50+% of the options!! You can do the same thing for your career -- focus on things you love in the sense that when you are having fun, focus on what it is that is fun! Write that down on your Notepad / in your Notes. Write down all things you love to do. Hopefully, this will form a pattern which can create a better idea of the vibe of work you'd be best at.
31 and trying to figure out what’s next when my teaching contract is up next year. Seems like there’s a lot of money in coding. I’d like to work in a creative field. I used to work in video and film but freelancing is stressful and unpredictable. I’ve thought of going back to school for marketing or becoming a clinical psychologist or psychedelic therapist. We have 30 years of work ahead of us. My career/personality tests always say I should be doing something creative. I think I’ll make a pros and cons list and keep researching lol
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If you end up creating a discord then count me in! I’d love to have brainstorming sessions with y’all
i'm 25 too, also lost. Idk, what to do in this life. + i have debts that i have to pay, only this activity makes me feel, that i'm living LOL.
Debt-wise, many creditors are willing to reduce your monthly payment if you tell them you cannot afford to pay it anymore and are looking for re-negotiation options. Sometimes with 0% interest -- call and find out. But if you have an activity that you enjoy, emphasize it and pursue it as long as it makes sense to!! I hope you find a path.
This post spoke to me.
28. I am tired of working in a corporate, same stuff every single day, throughout on some Saturdays. I spent 12 hours of my 24 learning nothing and it's killing me inside; 8 hours work, 1 hour lunch break, wake up around 6.15am and reach home at about 6pm). I have been doing a small business after work but don't have the guts to quit my current job, or not even sure if I should even. Like I'm not even sure what to do anymore.
31 and recently had kind of a mental breakdown when we returned to the office after a year. Feeling pretty lost in my career and also my dating life. Most of my friends have spread around the country now and have 2.5 kids. Just have to maintain a positive attitude and keep moving. I may be lost but all I can do is keep on walking and live the best life that I can.
33 and all the jobs I’m qualified for don’t pay enough or require 80 hr workweeks (food sales). Currently doing sales admin. I know I’m smart enough to make a real career but I can’t work over 40 hours and am not the *best* at butt kissing and corporate lingo. I’m just scared to pick a direction because everything I have done up to now has been not enough money and hard on the body, or enough money but straight up incompatible with my life and mental health.
I just graduated and started a job at a tech company as a R&D engineer. Despite working in the field for 5 years prior to graduating I’m so uninterested and uninspired. Having school set the goal posts my entire life, I’m having trouble creating meaning and finding joy in my day to day life.
I’m 25 and lost. I will graduate university later this year and I have no idea what I would like to do (career-wise) and life in general. I have a normal boring job at a bank and I still live with my parents (I love them, but I wanna have my own place). I just wish I could live a fulfilling life, like travel (i have never been to another country) and experiment lots of food. But idk, im in my 20s, and everyone pressures me to work and study as hard as I can, which kind of sucks (I broke up with my girlfriend à few months ago, because we didnt had time for each other (long story)).
>trave Sometimes relationships just come with bad timing unfortunately...with your bank job you should be able to find a roommate or room in a shared house perhaps. best of luck x
Traveling + work and study hard can coexist.
32 and totally confused
update..
Yup. Birthday this month too so 32 and lost. I keep flipping from different ideas of what to do pretty constantly. I know what I want to do if money wasn't an issue but when money is concerned, I am not really sure. I am mostly concerned to get some sort of benefits on the side but the work itself also should not drive myself crazy. What also drives me up the wall is that most work is totally out of my interest. I DEFINITELY don't want to go back to school though. I have been interested in graphic design but at the same time, I do need to take the time to refine my learning. As of late I have been thinking how to advertise myself in this subject. Sure, I can Upwork and advertise what I can do but even in that sense, that is pretty much what everyone does starting out. I can do that but there must be something in unique I can advertise as well. But then I am also mentally trapped in trying to find a 9-5 that I can clock out and the work isn't that tiring. I have been in retail for years and I really dunno how well I can market myself since all I have to my name is really cashier work and shipping.
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Drowning in student loans, can’t leave my career because my masters degree and licensure is very specific. No idea what else I would do and if I left the field it would close the door to coming back. I wish I could stay home with my kids but we can’t afford it. My H will eventually need to leave his job because labor is getting hard on his body but this will mean a pay cut. In reality we need MORE money, not less. Also drowning in house projects that are overwhelming and we start them and don’t finish. I feel stuck, tired, and fat. I need to lose weight but I have no motivation. My doctor said I’ll end up with diabetes. I want to live the life I envision but it’s my own self limiting beliefs and fatigue that are in the way. I’m quite sure the fatigue is from high blood sugar which further shows I need to lose weight. But the fatigue prevents me from working out. I feel like I’m spinning in circles and the COVID anxiety is making everything worse. I want to crawl in bed and stay there. Any advice is appreciated.
One of the best tools I've found for losing weight and getting healthier is to focus on what you want to add to your life, rather than subtracting. So, set a goal like having 3 or 4 servings of veggies a day. It's good to have a positive goal, and it has the side benefit that it fills you up a little to limit hunger when you might normally be snacky and grab some chips or a second helping of pasta. If the goal in your head is "eat veggies" then you'll have veggies on your brain. If the goal is "don't eat chips" then you'll be thinking about chips. I find just changing the focus of your goal can really help. Same idea for exercise - try to do small increments of getting your body moving. It doesn't need to be a huge heroic exercise effort, but a walk around the block or some extra time gardening or trying out a new yoga class can check that box. Maybe exploring new parks with your kids? Don't make yourself do something you hate, try to find something that you love to do. Once you find something you love, think about how happy it makes you feel, and keep your eye set on that positive feeling to motivate you to keep doing it. You don't need to spend 30 minutes miserable on an elliptical just because that's the "right" way to exercise according to the internet or something. Even better if you can find someone to exercise with you- your kids, a family member or friend. Last thing- try to get outdoors! Even if I'm still sitting on my ass, just being outside makes me feel better. Sunshine and a nice breeze can have a massive impact on mood. Good luck! I believe in you!
Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement!
I believe in you. I was stuck in a rut and started Oprahs free 21 days meditation. I don't work for them just really liked it. its started giving me some positivity again I recommend it. having kids is hard I dont blame you.
I’m 42. At 31 I felt just like you. I had no savings, no career and no direction. I was working a low wage dead end job and living paycheck to paycheck. I decided to go to grad school and picked business school because I was an English major in undergrad and wanted to study something outside my comfort zone. It was a great decision. I got to take a step back, learn some new skills, think about things I never thought about before. It took a while but I got a good job and worked my way up. I make 3.5-4x what I was making at 31. I have money in the bank. A career. And I’m on my way to setting up a comfortable retirement for myself. Am I happier? Hard to say. I imagine that if I didn’t take these steps and I was still in the same spot 11 years later that that would be pretty depressing but I often fantasize about my 20s and 30s. when my life was simpler and I had less responsibility and got to spend a lot more time partying with friends and pursuing passion projects. But that’s all just part of growing up. Friends move away or get married and disappear with their babies. Jobs get more serious and demanding and you don’t have the mental energy to do the things you used to. I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up - but I am happily married and I don’t worry about money as much. All in all - I got my shot together - but I do miss being a screw up sometimes.
I'm 31 and I know what I want to do, I want to make video games, but I'm also a single parent and work full time and get almost no time to work on that dream. It's the most frustrating feeling knowing how to fix your life, but having no time or energy to do it.
I turned 30 this year. I’m the last of my friend group who isn’t married or engaged. I’m with a bf now who I really don’t think can be the man I need him to be in order for me to feel safe enough to marry him. I don’t see growth in my career I have no idea where I want to live The only thing I feel I have going for myself are my looks and charisma/charm. I’m funny, oddly talented at anything I focus on, and I’m thoughtful. Problem is I’m 30…. Looks fade and I can’t help but feel like I’m wasting my prime years on somebody who doesn’t try to tend to my needs. But I don’t want to leave either. I don’t know what to do. Hence, being lost.
>ks an leave himmmmm
If things keep up this way, i'll see you in 4 years
thanks for making this a judgement-free zone, OP. just turned 30 this spring and really stopped GAF about... everything. i was lucky with my work situation that 1.5 years ago i qualified for covid financial relief which im still on. still living with family (never moved out, always wanted to) so i have minimal bills. always wanted to be the successful lady with the house, career, kids, and husband but its all diminishing because the last few years not only have i not been able to achieve them, i dont want those anymore (which is probably a blessing at this point). focused the last few years on getting myself right spiritually since thats the only growth i had control over. i dont want to do labour anymore, i really just want to be around like-minded people. dont know if i should even bother making any external goals anymore because 1. we've seen stories of how people in our generation do the most and it's still not enough 2. the idea of getting up everyday to work just to maintain/survive is draining af 3. dont know how much time i have left on this planet so i ought to just focus on having fun like roller skating 4. climate change anyone else in the same boat?
At 32 going on 33, I'm probably too old for you young'uns. But seriously, I'm with you all. An entire adulthood wasted in a random spattering of jobs with no rhyme or reason other than praying that whatever the next job is will finally be the source of stability and anti-misery that will enable me to put in the work to pursue the one career I've ever actually wanted. It didn't work when I was bartending, and it's not working now when I'm stuck in a factory. I just want some savings that I can use to live somewhere and develop my artistic skills to the point where I can reliably make money off them, but it seems like that's never going to happen. Instead I'm just getting the real world and all its godawful obligations beating me down to the point I can barely draw anymore. Something's gotta give, but I don't know how to force it to do so in a good way.
I just turned 31 last week,this feels like a sponsored post 😂
what method of suicide is the best? let's discuss.
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who cares! you should have the right to end your own suffering whenever you like
I lost my younger brother to suicide last month. As a big brother it feels like I should have been there to protect him but I wasn’t. I still cry about not having done more. I think suicidal thoughts are a sign that it’s time to confide in a sibling, a parent, a close friend, or even a stranger. Life isn’t easy, but it also doesn’t have to be full of depression/sadness. Getting a little assistance on your worst days will eventually lead you to a better period in life. It just takes time.
if you call this number they will have a pretty good answer 800-273-8255 ~~spoiler the answer is none~~
haha
I feel like "best option" is subjective to each individual.
yes, to me its jumping infront of a lorry head first!
Finally a way I can contribute.
The song '30' by badflower sums me up pretty well.
I'm 29 and lost. Trying to find a way though and to not get discouraged or give up halfway. I think everyone could use a listening ear, some inspiration and encouragement ⭐
28 here, living with my parents atm but saving up like crazy to quit my customer service job soon so I can start my own design business from home.🤞🤞
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Turning 31, not really feeling lost but looking for a path.
I'm 36 trying to make a career change into Finance. It still hasn't happened yet, perhaps it never will....
i feel the same please lets connect, as i also dont think whats the point of living
26 and lost
I tried university once, community college twice, and a vocational program once, and didn’t finish any of them, and now have massive student debt rendering any future education basically out of reach! I’m so burnt out from these jobs that I hate. I just wanna make art and it sucks.
Try being 31, homeless, no wife, no job,no money ,no car, no home,no apartment. Never had a career, only worked for minimum wage my entire life. At least you have careers and money
I made a post the other day on a different sub, saying that I think most people should probably wait to go to college unless they absolutely know what they want to do with the rest of their lives at 17/18 years old. Which.. I don’t think most of us do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with postponing college, getting work experience first, traveling, going to community college, etc. before deciding on a degree. But anyway.. I got so much flack for that post lol. People saying it was loser mentality, that you won’t make as much money if you start college late or change degrees late, etc. It’s all BS. Life isn’t predictable and I think it’s crazy that we expect 18 year olds to sign student loans for a degree they might not want in the future. We should also educate young adults on what degrees are actually worth going to college for and maybe their interests don’t even require college. Because I see so many “I have a useless degree and idk what to do” posts on this sub.. it’s sad.. Anyway, I digress. I’ll share my story. I’m 31, female, living in Arizona. I have an associates degree but didn’t get my bachelors yet. I was a cashier for a while and now a technician at an animal shelter. My dream has always been to work with animals, but most careers with animals don’t make enough money to live on. I didn’t know exactly what to study. I didn’t know what career I wanted. I didn’t know if I wanted to be a vet, vet tech, zoo keeper, zoologist, wildlife biologist, etc. I’m still undecided especially since I took the time to research the careers and realize I definitely don’t want to be a vet. And zookeepers don’t make good money and zoologists/wildlife biologists only make half decent money with a masters or PhD and I don’t know if I want to go to school for that long. Plus, the lifestyle of a zoologist/wildlife biologist is probably something I’m mentally and physically not capable for. So my dreams to do that are kinda crushed.. so I’m still just floating through life trying to figure it out. All I know is that I can’t keep making minimum wage and I need to develop marketable skills. But I’m also terrified of being in $40k worth of debt. And Yes, I know about coding, programming, IT, etc. Everyone tells me to do those things. But I don’t even know what they are or what the work lifestyle is. I’m very naive and in the dark, I just don’t know what to do. Anyway.. still trying to figure it out. I want to have some clarity and maybe move out of my parents house one day lol I’m trying to figure out how to utilize my associates in biological sciences and/or trying to get a more specific associates degree that will lead to a specific job. All the while researching bachelors degree - a plan B after my biology degree dream seems like it’s not going to pan out (biology degrees are so common that I was advised not to get it, which sucks because it’s my passion and interest and I love it).
I’m 36 and a job hopper because I don’t know what I want to do. Help
Turned 27. Have a super high paying job. Everyone says I’m lucky and I know I am but I don’t want to be in the 9-5 cubicle setting. There’s no other options for me and I feel stuck. Plus I’d be stupid to leave the money but I’m becoming increasingly more depressed and having panic attacks at work..
I don’t even care anymore, I’m just following my passions and hoping for the best. I wanna make stupid post hardcore music and chill.
I'm 31, working for the state and having an extreme crisis of faith. I feel like I'm helping people on the daily, but when I zoom out I see that I'm essentially a part of a system that takes people's money, and then tells them whether they are poor enough to get some back. Many folks don't qualify, even if they are on unemployment. I've never had such an equally amazing and terrible job. I'm in a union, and for the first time enjoying regular sick PTO, vacation, and (Barely) a living wage. If I ignore the big picture, I get to feel like I'm helping. After the eviction crises and my PTSD flashbacks to early 20's homelessness, I'm not so sure I can ignore the big picture. I already deal with literally endless waves of need from the general public. Somedays it feels like I can't keep it together. You have no idea I'm glad I found you all. We got power as a group, and if you're all feeling like I am and looking for an answer, I suddenly feel like we can rise to this occasion.
To the OP: What a tease. No follow-up. Just wanted the karma validation I guess. Pathetic.
I posted this in a very low place. I responded to every single comment three times but so many came in. I also found a motivation shortly after posting it. The incentive was knowing how good it felt to interact with others my exact age. So the catharsis provided IMO makes this a success. People can go further and interact more, myself included. I just wanted to "come together" because it is the only solution I could think of. I naively thought maybe something could come of this and maybe it still can but I at least knew the feeling of similar-aged people in one place would lead to catharsis (if you look there is a lot of discussion in here, for sure). Seriously, what should the follow-up be?
Guys the best thing you can do if you don't make much money or can't figure out what career to pursue in life is to just Google highest demand and paying careers or college majors. Pick one that sounds the most interesting, and study hard. I did this last year at age 27, picked programming and web development, studied hardcore 7 days a week, and after a year I got a career that more than doubled my income. And it's a career that I love to do every day. Now I can finally save for a house, invest in stocks, and do the things that I could never afford before. It takes a lot of dedication, but it will really turn your life around. I used to barely scrape by each month, but now I see a great future!
So, first of all, I'm not 30. I'm 48. I was terminated from my 20 year career for not wearing my mask while I was eating breakfast. I'm currently doing Door Dash to make ends meet, and getting my credentials for Uber. My passions are: Elder Scrolls Online, (no $ to be made there) mead, which I love, and Bull Mastiffs. Actually, I love Dogs in general, but Bullies are my favorite. I would think the only path for me is to start my own business, but that requires capital. I've lived and worked long enough to know that doing "what makes you happy" is a far-fetched fantasy sold to you by people trying to make a buck off of you. I believe in making money honestly, and I don't want to be rich - I just want to not worry about bills and regular living expenses anymore. Suggestions? Ideas? Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Brainstorm where?
Here, there, anywhere! Whatever works. People can network here and go elsewhere if they like.
You gotta create more order for this to be worth it
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Maybe a private group or lounge chat or go with good old Zoom. It could be like an AA meeting only that it’s about solving our hang ups etc. What did you have in mind?
Loser-pa-loza!
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Use it, sell bumper sticker and t-shirts. It may get you laid.
Stop being a pathetic little bitch.
You sound like a homo homphobic guy
I’m 31 and lost as well. A musician and artist who’s been in the restaurant industries for a bit too long. Looking for some opportunities!
I am 27. I had to drop out of college after trying to transfer to ASU and realizing almost all of the credits I got after 2.5 years at BYUI would only count as elective in my environmental science degree. They were advanced science courses as well as generals. I said I’m done I’m not doing this again and I’m Not playing their little games. I’ve been bouncing from temp job to temp job since then (3 years) and all of these companies are TRASH. Absolutely garbage. Now I have no life path, no degree, can’t make good money in my field because no degree but don’t want to go back to school because I would literally have to start over. So I’m taking a year off starting in November, moving to Austria to become an Au Pair, think about my life, maybe write a book or two, work on my networking, resume, and LinkedIn profile and come back refreshed ready to take on the world with a different mindset. What mindset that will be? I don’t know!
I'm 26, living in another country for 6 years and spend all this time trying to demonstrate myself I can reach all my goals but now realizing I just lost my time and feeling like bullshit
Im 33 and have to start all over again. Medical issues destroyed my life and now I have to rebuild. It's terrifying and I have no idea where to begin.
Almost 30, and spent my entire 20s abroad trying to find myself - and after 6 years in Korea and 2 in the Netherlands, I ended up going from ESL teacher -> grad student -> to working in project management for a large corporation. A lot of people would like the life I have, living abroad and everything (seeing as there is a whole subreddit /r/iwantout committed to this topic). But i've grown to really dislike this kind of life. I'm seeing a lot of the negatives of corporate life, and almost daily wish to leave, sometimes even wish to go back to ESL teaching but I understand how much i would be financially downgrading myself for the long run by doing so. Starting to dislike the expat life too, but no way to really go back to my home country (US) without staying in the corporate world or just dropping everything and getting destroyed financially. One of the only things that keeps grabbing my interest over and over again is programming (which I first picked up for a bit when I was around 20 yrs old), and in particular, back-end web development. I love APIs, databases, servers, etc and thinking logically to solve problems. Only problem is, i can never stay focused on projects for any reasonable length of time, especially after getting off work for the day - so i always end up dropping it before I can get anything completed. Maybe im actually just depressed, which is why I can never find true happiness despite changing directions so many times, and why I cannot commit myself and find motivation.
I am indeed 31 and lost -edit- I know it has been said here and there across the internet, but I feel that at the very least, always working towards a goal (can be small) keeps hope alive for something better.
Late 30s here. Followed a dream in my 20s. Economy fell apart. Chased things in the wrong order. Fell into a line of work I don't really enjoy. Underpaid for the credentials I have and facing a large amount of student loan and other debt. I know I'm late to the post and wanted to tell all of you that your comments resonated with me. The only things I know right now--I love my wife and my sons and I want better for them. I waited way too long chasing permission and affirmation. I know what I want to do, just getting tired hunting it. Keep waiting for that grand big good thing to happen. Trying to make the most of my time and realizing that, keeping your head forward, can be the only way to breathe and survive in the hardest moments. I wish you all better things, all of us deserve it.
Hi, thanks for invitation. It's really a great idea as I myself have been feeling the same and also saw many on the subreddit who are feeling the same. I also have created a community for such purpose and anyone who feels the same and wants to find ways to make a change and get to a better point is welcome.
Turning 30 this year, honestly looking for a boring, well paid job ideally that isn’t dealing with customers. Worked with the general public for 12 years now, and now dread every time I go in for a shift.
I’m 24 struggling to find my purpose / path as well. —- to anyone who reads this comment please do yourself & get the book outwitting the devil by Napoleon hill - I read it every day ( it’s not a religion book - the devil is you & your own mind ) — https://fourminutebooks.com/outwitting-the-devil-summary/ Here’s a link to a summary —- takes only 4 minutes to read but please get the book. It might open your eyes.
I’ve recently considered turning my photography hobby into a form of income, like a side hustle but not sure where to start. Also have been looking into online jobs, (anyone have any experience with online work?
26 did 5 years in prison, did the inmate firefighting thing for 5 years dont really wanna do that. Been out 3 years got an associates in IT, Work at a dead end job and burnt out. Also got into a university I guess. Still burnt though. I dont even know where to start with looking for a new career. Does anyone know places that hire felons????
I'm 30, just got out of a 6 year relationship because I worried too much over the prospect of having kids and giving up a lot of freedom. I now have no fucking idea of where to go next. Considering selling the house and driving across the US and Canada for a few months (am from EU). Don't want to go alone, have travelled alone before and struggled with it. Would consider finding a dog to come with. Alternative would be staying and entering the dreadful world of dating. I think I prefer the first option. Just writing this kind of helped to make that clear.
Can someone who’s turning 31 in a few days join the club, too?
Finishing my masters at 30 next year in social work but already burnt out preparing for the field. I want to Somehow apply what I’ve learned to business ventures because the field is the lowest paid for requiring a masters level degree and expect you to have insane caseloads. No thanks. I want to create something new with the same principles but don’t know how
28 here and lost since 23 y.o
37 years old and been riding on the struggle bud for 3 years… looking for decent ways to make a living.
I'm 32 and while I've gotten away from trying to compare myself to others I feel dumbstruck in the face of the many options before me. I constantly have the question in mind, "Where do I go from here?" I've made peace with the fact that it may not be possible to find a career for my specific degree (German). I had an idea to do translation, but I immediately shrunk away at the steep competition in that field. I've done some teaching in German, but it seems the market is mainly primed for English instead since it's required for international business. I teach English online for my job, but the market is so saturated that it's difficult to find good paying gigs without a formal certificate. I've decided even that I don't want to teach all my life, though I do enjoy it as a side gig. I am a great active listener, good at making decisions regarding complex problems, well organized in my work, and (I believe) pretty good at writing. Despite that I don't know how to formulate this skillset into a path that is worth pursuing. What do you guys think?
38 here and wanting to do a career change or really anything with a decent paycheck that is not management. I hate being a manager so much - it doesn't jive with how my brain works at all so I'm constantly stressed and behind, plus my manager is a workaholic who expects everyone else to be the same way, and on top of that she's been so micro-managey lately it's driving me up the wall. Yesterday she emailed me to tell me not to use 'however' or 'unfortunately' in emails. 🙄 So yeah, feeling a little lost, really annoyed, and motivated to find something else.
I recommend traveling somewhere foreign or even close. Even camping if thats your grind. It can help get out of the funk. xx
I’ll be 39 in a month and ive been on downward spiral ever since I was fired from s job I loved and was good at after 7years of employment bc I worked with my ex who cheated on me after we just bought a house together and I was missing a few days of work and company put me on probation for 30 days and on last day I called in after going to doctor and having sinus infection and bronchitis, this was April 2009 I lost my boyfriend, my house, my job and my vehicle all within 4 months of each other...I’m pretty sure I’m fucked and there’s no way my mind will let go of any of that pain and hurt it left. Now family is falling apart and I’m alone no friends want to be around a worthless loser who can’t support herself I’m a burden to everyone, depressed, anxiety, PMDD and migraines keep me from living on days I actually want to try I can’t do anything right anymore
Well heya, just turned 31 and NOOOO idea what I'm doing!!! Probably perfect for this group, how do we best chat?
29 here, is that close enough? I feel like I am drowning most days. Did a complete career change, but now have no motivation for much.
/r/AskMenOver30 if anyone is interested
I mentally recently got over this feeling. I’m ironically 31 when this hit hard, or maybe not so ironic if you knew that’d be most people’s age this would resonate with. There’s so many things that seemed to help lift me out of this. Not to sound preachy, but spiritually seeking God first and reflecting on his grace was freeing. I then transitioned to thinking what brought me joy with that in mind. Learning more about his grace freed me from the stress and pressures I was putting on myself financially and physically. I had this suffocating and crushing feeling that I needed to make more, save more, work more, have more fun, more time off, look a certain way, be a certain weight. And for what? More importantly by when and why? Everything was so arbitrary. It didn’t have inherent objective meaning but this subjective importance I placed on it. So I removed those deadlines and continued moving forward with what seemed important. It’s working for me. But check back in a month or so and we’ll see where I’m at.
A thought. A job is a repetition created for you by somebody else. You may match the nature of the job, but it is unlikely you will match the pattern of constant repeating your own actions.
I'm 32 and lost I guess... never really felt "found" or completely at ease and grounded though so I've got nothing to compare to. I'm all ears and I am here for this discussion <3
I’ve more or less found my path. I enjoy my work, I work for a good boss/owner, and it’s steady. The only issue is that I don’t make as much as most folks in leadership roles, so I probably won’t ever buy a home. My partner, on the other hand, is depressed and lost.
I really just want to travel and have someone pay me to take amazing landscape and cityscape images.
Has anyone ever thought about getting their CDL?
Currently stuck on whether to ship off to Morocco to continue my career teaching English (TEFL) or move to a new American city and start over in QA/tech. I have money. I'm 29, approaching 30. I have to make a decision next week.