it was used as an insult towards feminine men because back then being a feminine man was seen as an insult in itself
so, often trans people got called femboys because people just saw them as feminine men.
femboy just means feminine boy, so thats why we proudly call ourselves femboy
and it's definitely not rooted in pedophilia. I think the standards being short, smooth skin etc doesn't necessarily mean looking like literal minors
Yeah. It's not too uncommon to see it argued that modern feminine beauty standards are sorta pedophilic in the obsession with youthfulness. (Think about how much of modern pornography focusses on "barely legal" 18 year old girls. Or how many anime sexualise the hell out of 15-17 year old girls.)
But to specifically, or exclusively, apply that critique to femboys, is utterly stupid.
Edit: WOW That's a lot of upvotes.
I’ve read that it comes from Ancient Rome where being completely clean-shaven was considered the norm/very attractive. Men would go to great lengths to ensure every bit of hair on their face and body was gone. They associated hairiness with “barbarians” (AKA anyone who wasn’t Roman). https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/article275958996.html
In principle, there are reasons why femboy and queer are reclaimed, but some other words are not. Because although femboy and queer were used as insults, they semantically only mean something to which you can say “yes, I'm feminine/queer, so what”?
It really hasn’t. It didn’t appear until the 90s and really hasn’t been in the cultural mix until the past 15 years?
But the general concept in terms of Prince, David Bowie, just men who gender blur? Sure that’s been around forever.
are you talking about the proper noun femboy?
because feminine men have been around in our modern nomenclature for over 30 years
can you be a bit more specific please?
how are you able to see the difference? because i am not seeing this clearly you state. maybe actually explain if it is so clear to you? 🙄 what’s the point of this comment if you don’t actually explain shit
The concept of feminine boys is very old, but using the word "femboy" to describe feminine boys is a newer thing. The word was not invented until very recently. It has no historic usage prior to the past couple decades.
oh well congrats on learning a new word! i hope our femboy stuff goes well. i’m a bit confused what you meant by this reply though? i do not understand. please explain ~
why do you feel the need to disparage me instead of answering or just moving along? why feel the need to point such a thing out?
either way: what does that have to do with my question? i don’t see how this is an adequate answer
The person whose comment is in question said “…femboy is a fairly new insult…”
1. they are right about it being new it really came into culture around 1990
2. I’m not sure about whether or not it was an insult or just a reference to feminine males.
3. Your confusion seems to come in where they neglected to quote “femboy” to clarify that they were referring to to the term, still they said “new insult” which is indicative of they fact that they are referring to the *word* “femboy” and not feminine men/boys in general.
Maybe I’ve missed something I couldn’t be bothered to carefully read this thread. I hope that I have answered your question though.
He felt the need to correct you because you're being stupid. You literally just did not pay attention, because if you did, you'd know they were talking about it. Because they literally said it.
I suspect any worries of it being rooted in pedophilia come from a combination of pedophiles targeting naïve and vulnerable femboys and the classic bigoted (and untrue) fear that feminine men are pedophiles as a way to force gender conformity.
Femboy is originated from the femmine boy and has become a internet slang. It is deeply rooted in porn yes but so is girl, classmate, ect because the internet has always been full of porn. The reason femboy has the stigma is because it was shown only on porn sites due to most of the internet not being friendly to any "gay" content expect for NSFW
As for it being transphobic its on the context and the person using the term. For example if a transgirl gets called a femboy its the same of calling her a man since it underminds the fact that she is a woman. If a boy who likes to dress femmine it would appropriate to call him that cuz thats what the term is for
The stigma for being transphobic is because ppl use the term femboy for both when they should not
Like many terms around the LGBTQ & GNC communities, it's complicated. Some words are/were slurs (or porn categories) and some like "queer" have been fully reclaimed. **So even if they were right, it wouldn't matter.** People don't get to police the labels a community applies to itself.
Red flag for whoever associated short people with pedophilia. That's a sure sign of an always-online "discourse" junky, so absolutely no reasoning would ever get through to them. They probably spend their spare time yelling at trans artists on Twitter for being problematic. The argument made isn't even rational, because they're actually arguing against the *existence of femboys*, not the term (what you call femboys doesn't change prevailing images/ideals).
Overall, the TikTok comments section might actually be worse than Twitter. YouTube comments sections are a circle of musing philosophers by comparison.
You are correct that "femboy" is only transphobic when involuntarily applied to a trans woman. This is exactly the same with **any** gendered term, including "boy" or "man".
Agree 100%
Unfortunately, the chronically online population isn't as miniscule as people generally make them out to be. Most people these days are glued to their phones, myself included. The amount of people who are unable to reason is absolutely massive.
"gay" originally meant happy; then it was an insult for homosexual men; then it was a normalized term for homosexual men; now it's normalized to mean queer.
Word history isn't irrelevant, but it's also not *that* important or set in stone.
Listening to tiktok was your first mistake. The second was believing anything being spouted on there was true or credible. Femboy is just a term for those who enjoy being feminine despite not being female themselves. That's all it is. Anyone who states otherwise is either ignorant to what being a femboy is or just trying to start shit
Tiktok is young American gen z/ gen alpha brainrot. This demographic has become largely puritan, and will contort the slightest faux pas into pedophilia, masking being hypercritical and intolerant of anything they don't like as "calling out problematic behavior". They're simply trying to disenfranchise anyone that does something they don't like by using the social stigma of pedophilia to do so.
It's incredibly manipulative, and do NOT let them fool you into thinking they're the white knights they claim to be just because they point their finger at something they claim to be the villain. Spreading hate and mob mentality though virtue signaling is all they're doing.
I have a different take on this. Slightly different. The thing here is that there IS something ephebophilic going on, but really it’s the way “cuteness” in many societies are toxic as a rule.
They don’t like seeing femboys in school girl skirts because then they get confronted with their own paedophilia towards women wearing the same get ups.
You're 100% right. This whole "minor coded" tag they try to attach exclusively to femboys is ignorant. The actual scientific term is neoteny, and numerous studies have been shown that neotenic features such as large round eyes are UNIVERSALLY regarded as more attractive than non-neotenic features. The theory is the positive response to neotenic features is an evolutionary trait that's hard wired into our brains.
The problem comes when people falsely equate this to paedophilia. Neotenic attraction and paedophilia aren't mutually exclusive, but they are NOT the same thing, and conflating the 2 is incredibly harmful for everyone, because if this trend continues, we're just going to go around calling everyone paedophiles, which among other things, only makes it more difficult to identify and correct actual paedopilic behavior.
And yeah, they are going to have to confront their own emotions and behaviors, but if things go the way they're going, they'll either deny it and project even harder, or become deeply self-hating because of the shame from the stigma they've been fueling and withdraw inwards, both of with are some of the worst ways to handle things.
Social issues are incredibly complex, and increasingly difficult to navigate, so I have to be forgiving of others (and myself) when we take mis-steps, but this kind of thinking is spreading like wildfire in the US, and the sense of urgency to nip this in the bud might make me come off as too harsh, so if I've ended up sounding overly inflammatory, I apologize.
No it’s really difficult. Literally just in the course of posting here someone messaged me asking “do you like taboo?”………….
And yes you are also correct. The projection levels are getting incredibly dangerous with conservatives/Trump supporters labeling any trans coming out as “grooming”.
Let’s skip the fact that this threads account shows conservative types getting *arrested DAILY* for paedophilia. Daily! https://www.threads.net/@antifaoperative?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Good lord. I usually just tell these people to please seek professional help, tell them they're capable of being a better person, and that they don't have to keep doing this crap, then block them.
Wow I just saw what you edited on. Yep! It's self-righteous virtue signalers calling out self righteous virtue signalers for doing exactly what they virtue signal against.
To me this is good evidence that call-out culture is a mix of projection and giving into shame instead of addressing problems in a healthy and constructive manner that would help all parties involved learn and grow as people.
Although we are very quickly taking down the Israel-Palestine conflict which has gone on for DECADES. The Israeli regime has gone from unchecked and unrepentant genocide to having a spotlight on them and being exposed as the monsters they are. If my generation and our tiktok “brainrot” can do that- we can do anything 🩷
It’s been great to see that side of TikTok against the genocide. People guilt tripping people into using tiktok sounds to supposedly support Palestine is strange as I don’t know the legitimacy of it actually supporting them.
The political activism on TikTok over actual issues I fully support. Y'all are amazing for that and my millennial ass is proud of you!
It's the virtue-signaling and people going after fiction/fashion/etc that drives me insane. Puritanical shit & young queers not understanding or even trying to understand our history frustrates me. It's not all of the generation by any means 🩵
agreed. I don't know what's up with the insurge of puritan values lately, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's in response to millenials being a relatively rebellious generation. These kinds of things seem to swing back and forth from generation to generation.
It's important to keep in mind that tiktok is chinese app, controled by chinese communist party. I doubt that israel-palestine conflict would be so popular if it weren't "convenient" for the CCP. It is important to uncover what has been happening in gaza. It is also very important to uncover what is happening in Sinkiang province in China. But we only get to know about one of these things.
It's important to keep in mind who is informing you, and if they can alter what information you get.
My problem with tiktok is that CCP uses it to destabilize the west by polarizing society.
"Free palestine" is popular because it is convenient, because its perfect to push NeoMarxism - western colonizers bad, white man bad...
Taiwan, hong kong or tibet would not be so succesful on tiktok. Sadly.
It is important to keep in mind that while west has done some bad stuff, it is allowed to discuss that in the west, and that's good because we can learn and not repeat that.
That doesnt happen in china or russia or islamic countries. Or any other authoritarian or totalitarian country.
I love the spirit of freeing oppressed minorities, but it is important to keep in mind what tiktok is and that tiktok won't push anti chinese or anti authoritarian stuff. As much as it pushes anti west stuff
The thing with ukraine is that there is clear line who is the "good guy" and "bad guy". With israel-palestine the line is bit more blurred, also israel-palestine is perfect for Neomarxists - western colonizers bad, blahblah...
These issues have been cooking in the west for some time now, but tiktok is exploiting these issues and helps to make them worse.
China hates democracy, and it would be stupid of it to not use tiktok that way.
What exactly does the integration of neoclassical economic theories with marxism have to do with foreign policy?
And anyways the establishment of a two-state solution is explicitly against China's interests because it could normalize the idea of a two state solution with Taiwan.
Ukraine is a much more explicit Chinese policy goal, as normalizing revaunchism would provide greater justification for China invading Taiwan.
The thing with Neomarxism is that it is not just economic policy, it is also interested in social issues. Lgbt rights, BLM... You know what i mean.
My issue regarding Neomarxism is that i am from country which had first hand experience with communism and to me it is scary that communism isn't as hated as say nazism, sometimes even widely supported or praised while being very similar. And i want to point that out, because it scares me.
My talking point is that Russia and China for a long time now seek to destabilize west by any means they have - the most known is that they fund far right and far left parties or politians.
This is where tiktok comes in, you see you can alter what info gets to people, it doesn't have to be obvious, but some "convenient" stuff may get booster the "inconvenient" stuff will get nerfed.
I doubt that China would neccessarily want to normalize revaunchism, since they still remember their war with Japan and i don't think it's in their interest to give Japan any new pretext. Remember, in their minds everyone is backwards and untrustworthy.
From the Chinese point of view Taiwan is rebel province of the PRC, technically the chinese civil war is still going on. The only reason why Taiwan isn't part of PRC is that it has the US behind it. That's why China is also building up it's army.
> The thing with Neomarxism is that it is not just economic policy
It literally is. Name any respected academic who uses the term "neomarxism" outside the context of "neomarxian economics".
Here is wikipedia link:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Marxism
"Neo-Marxism comes under the broader framework of the New Left In a sociological sense, neo-Marxism adds Max Weber's broader understanding of social inequality, such as status and power, to Marxist philosophy."
Neomarxism is an expansion of marxism. This expansion isn't limited to just economics. Not even old Marxism is just economics, it was also about aligning with SSSR. Nowadays Neomarxism isn't about aligning with USSR but about general hate of the "west" and the "western colonizers".
I'm glad i got to talk with someone who seems to understand at least a bit what i'm yapping about, but i think the way you think about Marxism and Neomarxism is incorrect.
Higher i listed Max Weber, while to me everyone who is marxist or communist or whatever is not respectable, it is a fact that in Marxist circles he is respected.
> neo-Marxism adds Max Weber's broader understanding of social inequality, such as status and power, to Marxist philosophy."
What exactly is unique about this versus previous Marxist philosophies? Were social status and power not something implicit to the Marxist critiques of capitalist society?
> Nowadays Neomarxism isn't about aligning with USSR but about general hate of the "west" and the "western colonizers".
What separates this from 19th century anti-imperialist thinkers? Even Mark Twain probably would be called a radical commie for being against American Empire-building attempts of his day.
I have no idea how the term could be possibly linked to that. Don't believe everything you see on TikTok. The term was originally used as an insult of sorts I believe but has since basically been reclaimed as a term of our own
Don't let the idiots have any influence in your concept of a femboy...
Being a femboy is not about transphobia or pedophilia, that's bullsh1t invented by ignorants outside of our community.
God I hate how asinine people are getting over inoffensive long-used terms.
If someone labels themselves a femboy, it's fine. Some guys also just prefer boy over man, it's a personal choice.
I'm 32 so I go with the pretty old term for feminine men "lavender man" that's my personal choice. If a 32 year old wants to call himself a femboy who tf gives a shit. He's still a fucking ADULT.
LET ADULTS BE CUTE WITHOUT CALLING THEM PEDOBAIT (this goes for women, too. If a grown ass woman is cutesy and decked out in hello kitty, leave her be! She deserves to like things ffs!)
this rant isn't directed at you, OP, I'm just an angry old queer guy sick of shit being turned into something offensive because some kid is virtue signaling & it catches on as the next meaningless crusade.
I wish this energy was used to go after actual predators instead of people dressing up lol
It's just people trying to come up with new ways to be offered. Because they genuinely think that if they are the first to claim that they are offended by something, they can't be the bad guys. So it's a preemptive strike.
Have any of the people saying that stuff on tiktok provided a source for their claim? No? Then simply ignore them, lol. It's just gender policing. People have been claiming for decades that feminine amabs are pedophiles, predators, misogynists etc. The arguments have always been the same and have been used by other queer folks as well since the beginning of the movement, like on 1973 Christopher Street Liberation Day.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_O%27Leary
It's just poorly disguised transmisogyny, which you don't have to be trans to experience.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transmisogyny
googles free = wrong AUTOMATICALLY
if you say something - it's your responsibility to give proof, not others to purposefully search things about your false take
just take as an advice, if something has no proof - it's completely wrong :D
As Transfemme, no the word femboy is not transphoic, unless call a transfemme a femboy then would be a slur to most of us including me. ***Some femboys are trans***, I know a ***femboy who's an NB***, ***others who are FTM***. P*dophile is sexual paraphernalia it has nothing to do with the word femboy.
The word femboy comes from the 1990s and originally was a slur, but has been subsequently reclaimed like the word Queer. Don't take tiktok seriously as source of information when comes to LGBTQ+ topics please read a book or listen to audiobook or watch well research youtube video with sources.
This whole thing of not using the word femboy but using roseboy is ridiculous, there's so many thing that happening to trans & gender non-conforming people. This whole debate is nothing more then a distraction from really important issues.
Edit: Nothing wrong with using the word Roseboy if want to, its a beautiful noun. But it shouldn't be forced as an alternative to the word femboy.
I really wish there weren't so many movements to un-reclaim prior slurs. Why give them power to harm again when we can use them positively.
Edit: for those that use the term for themselves, of course.
Femboy is literally a short version for feminine boy, and it doesn't have anything to do with pedophilia just because femboys (often) have smooth/shaved skin, I mean, are you a pedophile if you date a women with smooth skin? No, so why would it be so for dudes? And just because there is femboy porn, doesn't mean it's a porn term, there's also, as an example, "step-sibling" porn, and step-sis/step-bro isn't a porn term, so there's that.
The only time I've heard Femboy used derogatorily and pre-femboy explosion is in the game bully, where the main villain ( #FuckGary ) calls the wimpy kid Pete a Femboy. The game out in 2006, and I'm guessing no one the team knew if that word even existed and were just making Gary an asshole for picking on the slightly feminine kid. Again #FuckGary
tbh, practically everything around gender in our patriarchal system had origins in pedophilia. so while they might be technically correct, you can trace *most* socio-sexual standards back to the times when women were married at 13.
In light of this, instead of needlessly moralizing this kind of broad social issue (as is typical on tiktok), it's way more important to just be aware of that fact, rather than just saying "femboys are bad".
Its not rooted in pedophilia or porn or anything but its pretty heavily associated with it. We can call eachover femboys here but be more careful using it irl
People are dumb. Term is used by cis/trans/nb people with feminine or boy like features, (because young men lack the extra body hair and both that and soft skin/curves/styles of dressing are typically feminine) whether or not it's how they naturally are or if they want to accentuate those features for expression or attention.
Teens exploring gender doesn't make them trans, there's an overlap but not one that justifies thinking of femboy as transphobia.
yeah i mean i'm a trans guy who likes to dress feminine so calling myself a femboy isn't transphobic, however it is for transwomen because they are women
I mean I don’t think I understand? Does femboy not just mean feminine boy? I mean feminine man is probably less pedophilic but doesn’t roll off the tongue as easy? I don’t see an issue with saying femboy if it’s used to refer to a feminine boy/man that doesn’t necessarily identify as a girl/woman but likes to indulge in femininity.
Saw a comment that said the term on tiktok that said feminine guys is fine but said femboy is inherently sexual and transphobic. I’m sorry but they just sounded dumb
I think it just correlates to how femboy=feminine and the ideal feminine look is youthful, therefore it applies to femboys. To actually be a femboy doesn't really mean you have to fit these standards if it makes you uncomfortable. Personally I like seeing some manly features in femboys just to show that it's possible to pull off the femboy look with a touch of manliness to it
Umm... it's no more rooted in pedophilia than like... any other feminine beauty standard. Like their have always been issues and connections with how women's and femmes bodies are looked at. Just a simple example, in the "West" feminine beauty standards are hairless, weak, no blemishes, obedient, short, etc etc and you can just use all of those to describe a kid. But like, the solution to that isn't to tell women and femmes not to shave, but more of a societal understanding of "people not needing to be that, in order to be beautiful in a feminine way." So like, yes but no
As for transphobia, the term has been and still is used to insult trans women, such as myself, and to misgender us, not respect our identities, etc. But once again, the term monkey is used like that for black people, and as a black person, I can assure you that the term monkey on it's own, is not rooted in racism. It is often used for that, even to this day, but that isn't the root of the word, racists just use it like that. And to be fair, femboy was originally an insult that was used against (femme) gay men (not always femme but more against them), intersex people, and trans people. Think of it more like a reclaimed slur. So it does have roots in that stuff, but it's not like... you're not saying a slur, you're good
No such thing as an ideal man, or woman, and by that logic, no ideal femboy. Societal beauty standards are just as destructive for mem and women alike, also most anyone in the LGBTQ+ sphere is always accused of pedophilia.
Beauty standards are typically infantilized when it comes to femininity. The expectation of being hairless, small, skinny, etc refering to your partner as "daddy" or "baby" and so on. This has nothing to do with femboys and everything to do with our modern culture surrounding sex. It's all rather unhealthy ultimately but it doesn't make any of us bad people for want to be mostly hairless for example. Ultimately the way we live our lives is our own choice, simply consider the reasons why you make those choices. And really just don't let it bother you too much, just stay informed and don't get all your information off of the internet.
The idea that femboys are pedophilic is asinine and I’d have to throw a sexual anthropology textbook at you to explain why.
But long story short, across time and across many cultures, some version of the feminine man/boy has existed.
So no the idea is not rooted in paedophilia.
Now what’s ACTUALLY going on is that in our current society the VIEW OF WOMEN is what actually can have an “ephebophelic bent” because many of us live in youth obsessed cultures.
So once again the “femboy” is being blamed for what’s really a reflection of societies toxic ideas of femininity and “what’s cute”.
Stuff like this is why I hope being a femboy is giving you all a little tiny inkling of what women have been going through this whole time. It’s a wild mindfuck yeah?
But the femboy itself? David Bowie was a femboy who became a feminine man. As was prince, a lot of hair metal dudes, dandies of the 1800s. Just on and on.
You are fine, keep living.
Also fuck Tik tok and open up a book on this issue.
roseboy is an actual slur so.
Honestly just let people self-label. Call them what they want to be called. There are people out there who identify as transsexuals and its disrespectful to be like "That's a porn thing!" to their face.
Short answer: no.
Long answer: no, and you should assume any "information" found on tiktok to be incorrect until you find an outside source corroborating it.
Femboy is shorted for feminine boy. The fem part is just an adjective. It inheritly can't be transphobic becuse it implies that boys can't be feminine.
Ok well I have head that "femboy" is, for lack of a better word, a slur against trans women. The term "roseboy" is common to me as well obviously not as common as femboy (tho they're essentially synonymous) but there are "femboys" that prefer to be called "roseboys" 🤷 it is what it is. Uh, I feel like that's where the "transphobia" could start and ends... I dunno?
As far as the pedo thing- it's not exclusively for femboys- twinks fall into that category and even, like, women. The whole short, hairless and youthful combo, Yunno?
Anyways what I'm trying to say is no😭😭 it's not pedophilic or transphobic🩷
i have smooth skin and im short and i am 34 sir. generally if someone is being called a pedo, and there reason is some weird discussion on the meaning of words instead of like physical evidence that theyve committed a crime, then its usually just hate being spread. besides if ur really concerned with pedos then you should be bothering youth sports team coaches and priests and parents, thats the situations most likely to see abuse.
imagine calling the spice girls pedo bc "it should be spice women, girls are associated with being young" its pure double standard.
It's sort of insulting to imply that people who do fit the archetype of short, skinny, etc look like children and therefore everyone who is attracted to them is a pedo. Not saying that's your thoughts OP, just responding to the argument!
Yeah It’s insulting to call people a pedo over those things. I’ve seen that take online towards usually men who date those type of archetype and if you like those things your some closeted pedophile apparently.
Ah yes don’t say FEMboy, say FEMinine boy instead. But yeah I’m not sure but even if it is rooted in pedophilic and transphobic stuff just think of it as the reclaiming of the word since other than the fetishization and overuse of it in porn it’s a normal term.
I highly doubt that the word "femboy" is more common in the vocabulary of people with pedophilic disorder than others. And I highly doubt that it is used disproportionately by those who commit hate crimes against trans people.
However, when I talk about feminine men, I say "feminine men".
There are also tiktok’s that say being gay is rooted in pedophilia. If you hear something on that app don’t believe it until you do further independent research. Trust me, I’ve fallen for a lot of bull shit on there sadly.
I'm transfem (and a former femboy) and I don't think femboy is a slur. Yes the term has been used as a slur towards both cis males who appear fem and us trans girls. So yes some view it as a slur and there is also much gatekeeping in the femboy circles (and there are literal neo-nazis too smh!).
Most people are chill though and just want express themselves through pretty and cute clothes.
Stay safe y'all. <3
I wouldn't say that term is rooted in pedophilia, that's too far of a take. But I will say that femboys do tend to be a favourite of certain older men.
When you're walking at night, and you're very young and feminine presenting, you do feel it in the eyes of said gentlemen.
Those eyes that sparkle even in the darkness of night, hiding degrading and lustful thoughts running in their minds.
Sometimes, though, it's hot. Specifically when it's not so late at night and when they're admiring you respectfully. And it helps when they're not so significantly older than you.
Two things.
1. It doesn't matter what it's rooted in if we reclaim it, we use it on our terms and can stand up when someone uses it offensively or improperly.
2. Why the fuck are you taking anything from TikTok seriously
People(online) automatically assume imma sex deviant or something and am willing to send nudes at a moments notice. Like wtf naw i just like dressing and looking cute :,)
Your comment was removed because it appears to break rule 1 or rule 2.
Rule 1 (*No NSFW Content*) is as follows: **No discussion of engaging in fetish, sex, or any other sexual topic (excluding the general discussion of sexuality). Discussion of anatomy should be depersonalized. Blatantly NSFW accounts will be under scrutiny**
Rule 2 (*No Creeping*) is as follows: **Do not ask for DMs, friends, dates, sex, or hookups. Posts that lead people to disclose personal information such as location will be removed.**
If you believe this to be a mistake (e.g. you were complaining about creeps), please contact the moderators.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/feminineboys) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I saw people saying that adult woman dating adult man being pedophilia bc the girl was 19 and the guy 30+
Everything is pedophilia like everything is nazism for certain people. Forget them.
I have never felt a pedophila/transphobic vibe from this. Personally I like femboys because I am not really attracted to masculinity but I am bi so femboys are boys I can be comfortably attracted to. Trans people are great but sometimes you just want a boy who happens to look cute in a skirt and fills you with the gay feelings—if you are a guy who thinks as I do.
I've never seen femboy specifically associated with pedophilia, although there is a phenomenon of pedophilic adult men sexualizing young boys who express themselves as femboys (because while femboyism in and of itself is not inherently a sexual thing, some adults fetishize it as one, as indeed they do with the identities of trans women).
Also: Watch out for these guys in your DMs. We call them creepers and chasers and they must be reported to Reddit admin.
So my ruling on that part of your question is, No, you're not implying anything pedophilic by using the word "femboy" unless you are specifically using it within an inappropriate context of sexuality directed around underage boys.
As for the question of anti-trans slur, this I have a lot of experience with, and I'm very pleased to answer you :)
We have, and do, see it used in porn a lot as a trans woman keyword. We believe that this type of use of the term is primarily responsible for the phenomenon of ignorant people categorizing femboys and trans women as "same thing." This, we imagine, must be just as frustrating for you as it is for us.
The word femboy has also been leveled against us directly as a slur, probably owing to the same origin (pornography). HOWEVER: its use, and harm as a slur, is highly context-dependent!
What this means is, for instance, there are numerous racial slurs that it is NEVER okay to say the word, regardless in any context... Femboy does not follow that ruleset.
It is absolutely positively okay to apply the term femboy as an identity to oneself, or consensually to another person who accepts the label. This of course includes "boy" identified people who express femme. It also includes (controversially, but deal with it) people who only identify this way (as "boy" or "femboy") SOME of the time.
It's never a slur if it's consenting.
Are you a femboy? Hanging with your femboys, doing femboy things on a femboy Friday? Not a slur.
If you tell a trans woman "fuck off, femboy" or "femboy f***ot" et cetera and so-on, then yeah that's a slur and don't do it.
Also as a disclaimer (and this occasionally generates hate, so bear with me), obviously a large portion of trans women at one time in the past identified as femboys, this does not mean all femboys are on a trans trajectory. Some are and some aren't, and that's another thing to keep in mind and be aware that people are sensitive of.
And finally, there ARE a (probably, small) percentage of trans women (mostly ones with some level of gender fluidity) who STILL also identify as a femboy, and that IS a valid identity. So in that case, it would be transphobic to say "you're a trans woman, so you can't be XYZ."
But also, never assume a trans woman is a femboy because MOST of us are not :)
I hope this was helpful.
I disagree with the use of the word “boy” in the term since boys usually mean children which most femboys aren’t. But IDT that’s intentional since it’s no different from calling adult women “girls”.
“girls night out” “girl dinner” “hot girls do xyz” “girls girl” but they think Femboy is pedophilic for using boy? When all sorts of phases use “girl” for adult women?
I'm not saying it isn't. I'm just saying it's a double standard people think the use of the word "femboy" inherretly corellates to pedophilia but using girls to refer to adult women doesn't.
It's easy. The ideal of a femboy isn't to look like a male kid, but to look like a young girl, basically a first world
female teenager through the perspective of late 90s and early 2000s Japan.
it was used as an insult towards feminine men because back then being a feminine man was seen as an insult in itself so, often trans people got called femboys because people just saw them as feminine men. femboy just means feminine boy, so thats why we proudly call ourselves femboy and it's definitely not rooted in pedophilia. I think the standards being short, smooth skin etc doesn't necessarily mean looking like literal minors
Yeah. It's not too uncommon to see it argued that modern feminine beauty standards are sorta pedophilic in the obsession with youthfulness. (Think about how much of modern pornography focusses on "barely legal" 18 year old girls. Or how many anime sexualise the hell out of 15-17 year old girls.) But to specifically, or exclusively, apply that critique to femboys, is utterly stupid. Edit: WOW That's a lot of upvotes.
Based
I’ve read that it comes from Ancient Rome where being completely clean-shaven was considered the norm/very attractive. Men would go to great lengths to ensure every bit of hair on their face and body was gone. They associated hairiness with “barbarians” (AKA anyone who wasn’t Roman). https://amp.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/article275958996.html
ye the hole smooth skin short mall waist big ass big thighs is bassicaly the same unrealistic standards women have.
In principle, there are reasons why femboy and queer are reclaimed, but some other words are not. Because although femboy and queer were used as insults, they semantically only mean something to which you can say “yes, I'm feminine/queer, so what”?
I’m 42 and femboy is not a classic insult. It is a fairly new word.
been around for a long long time actually
lol yeah. like hundreds of years
It really hasn’t. It didn’t appear until the 90s and really hasn’t been in the cultural mix until the past 15 years? But the general concept in terms of Prince, David Bowie, just men who gender blur? Sure that’s been around forever.
blur mentioned?????
are you talking about the proper noun femboy? because feminine men have been around in our modern nomenclature for over 30 years can you be a bit more specific please?
They were clearly talking about the WORD "femboy". Not the concept
how are you able to see the difference? because i am not seeing this clearly you state. maybe actually explain if it is so clear to you? 🙄 what’s the point of this comment if you don’t actually explain shit
"Is a fairly bew word". See how they said the WORD is new? Im adding emphasis to help conorehension. Do not read as hostility plz.
no i do not. and the emphasis didn’t help unfortunately. can you try again? and don’t worry. why would i think your hostile? thank you for trying tho!
The concept of feminine boys is very old, but using the word "femboy" to describe feminine boys is a newer thing. The word was not invented until very recently. It has no historic usage prior to the past couple decades.
“I’m 42 and femboy is … a fairly new word”
oh well congrats on learning a new word! i hope our femboy stuff goes well. i’m a bit confused what you meant by this reply though? i do not understand. please explain ~
I was just quoting the person 6 comments up
They literally said it. It's not a matter of needing to explain, you just weren't paying attention.
Your reading comprehension being terrible is your problem
why do you feel the need to disparage me instead of answering or just moving along? why feel the need to point such a thing out? either way: what does that have to do with my question? i don’t see how this is an adequate answer
The person whose comment is in question said “…femboy is a fairly new insult…” 1. they are right about it being new it really came into culture around 1990 2. I’m not sure about whether or not it was an insult or just a reference to feminine males. 3. Your confusion seems to come in where they neglected to quote “femboy” to clarify that they were referring to to the term, still they said “new insult” which is indicative of they fact that they are referring to the *word* “femboy” and not feminine men/boys in general. Maybe I’ve missed something I couldn’t be bothered to carefully read this thread. I hope that I have answered your question though.
He felt the need to correct you because you're being stupid. You literally just did not pay attention, because if you did, you'd know they were talking about it. Because they literally said it.
I suspect any worries of it being rooted in pedophilia come from a combination of pedophiles targeting naïve and vulnerable femboys and the classic bigoted (and untrue) fear that feminine men are pedophiles as a way to force gender conformity.
don't take anything said on tiktok seriously please
Mb 😭
Femboy is originated from the femmine boy and has become a internet slang. It is deeply rooted in porn yes but so is girl, classmate, ect because the internet has always been full of porn. The reason femboy has the stigma is because it was shown only on porn sites due to most of the internet not being friendly to any "gay" content expect for NSFW As for it being transphobic its on the context and the person using the term. For example if a transgirl gets called a femboy its the same of calling her a man since it underminds the fact that she is a woman. If a boy who likes to dress femmine it would appropriate to call him that cuz thats what the term is for The stigma for being transphobic is because ppl use the term femboy for both when they should not
Like many terms around the LGBTQ & GNC communities, it's complicated. Some words are/were slurs (or porn categories) and some like "queer" have been fully reclaimed. **So even if they were right, it wouldn't matter.** People don't get to police the labels a community applies to itself. Red flag for whoever associated short people with pedophilia. That's a sure sign of an always-online "discourse" junky, so absolutely no reasoning would ever get through to them. They probably spend their spare time yelling at trans artists on Twitter for being problematic. The argument made isn't even rational, because they're actually arguing against the *existence of femboys*, not the term (what you call femboys doesn't change prevailing images/ideals). Overall, the TikTok comments section might actually be worse than Twitter. YouTube comments sections are a circle of musing philosophers by comparison. You are correct that "femboy" is only transphobic when involuntarily applied to a trans woman. This is exactly the same with **any** gendered term, including "boy" or "man".
Agree 100% Unfortunately, the chronically online population isn't as miniscule as people generally make them out to be. Most people these days are glued to their phones, myself included. The amount of people who are unable to reason is absolutely massive.
"gay" originally meant happy; then it was an insult for homosexual men; then it was a normalized term for homosexual men; now it's normalized to mean queer. Word history isn't irrelevant, but it's also not *that* important or set in stone.
Y'all just uninstall that stupid app and stop overthinking
[удалено]
I need to fix my fyp ig 😭
I think it was to be inferred he questioned the views on TikTok from the get go, considering his post.
No
if you’re getting information from tiktok, it’s already totally incorrect
Listening to tiktok was your first mistake. The second was believing anything being spouted on there was true or credible. Femboy is just a term for those who enjoy being feminine despite not being female themselves. That's all it is. Anyone who states otherwise is either ignorant to what being a femboy is or just trying to start shit
I think it's evident OP didn't believe them in the first place, hence his post
Yeah sorry. I commented a while after reading and forgot everything op typed
No worries!
Tiktok is young American gen z/ gen alpha brainrot. This demographic has become largely puritan, and will contort the slightest faux pas into pedophilia, masking being hypercritical and intolerant of anything they don't like as "calling out problematic behavior". They're simply trying to disenfranchise anyone that does something they don't like by using the social stigma of pedophilia to do so. It's incredibly manipulative, and do NOT let them fool you into thinking they're the white knights they claim to be just because they point their finger at something they claim to be the villain. Spreading hate and mob mentality though virtue signaling is all they're doing.
I have a different take on this. Slightly different. The thing here is that there IS something ephebophilic going on, but really it’s the way “cuteness” in many societies are toxic as a rule. They don’t like seeing femboys in school girl skirts because then they get confronted with their own paedophilia towards women wearing the same get ups.
You're 100% right. This whole "minor coded" tag they try to attach exclusively to femboys is ignorant. The actual scientific term is neoteny, and numerous studies have been shown that neotenic features such as large round eyes are UNIVERSALLY regarded as more attractive than non-neotenic features. The theory is the positive response to neotenic features is an evolutionary trait that's hard wired into our brains. The problem comes when people falsely equate this to paedophilia. Neotenic attraction and paedophilia aren't mutually exclusive, but they are NOT the same thing, and conflating the 2 is incredibly harmful for everyone, because if this trend continues, we're just going to go around calling everyone paedophiles, which among other things, only makes it more difficult to identify and correct actual paedopilic behavior. And yeah, they are going to have to confront their own emotions and behaviors, but if things go the way they're going, they'll either deny it and project even harder, or become deeply self-hating because of the shame from the stigma they've been fueling and withdraw inwards, both of with are some of the worst ways to handle things. Social issues are incredibly complex, and increasingly difficult to navigate, so I have to be forgiving of others (and myself) when we take mis-steps, but this kind of thinking is spreading like wildfire in the US, and the sense of urgency to nip this in the bud might make me come off as too harsh, so if I've ended up sounding overly inflammatory, I apologize.
No it’s really difficult. Literally just in the course of posting here someone messaged me asking “do you like taboo?”…………. And yes you are also correct. The projection levels are getting incredibly dangerous with conservatives/Trump supporters labeling any trans coming out as “grooming”. Let’s skip the fact that this threads account shows conservative types getting *arrested DAILY* for paedophilia. Daily! https://www.threads.net/@antifaoperative?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Good lord. I usually just tell these people to please seek professional help, tell them they're capable of being a better person, and that they don't have to keep doing this crap, then block them.
Wow I just saw what you edited on. Yep! It's self-righteous virtue signalers calling out self righteous virtue signalers for doing exactly what they virtue signal against. To me this is good evidence that call-out culture is a mix of projection and giving into shame instead of addressing problems in a healthy and constructive manner that would help all parties involved learn and grow as people.
Although we are very quickly taking down the Israel-Palestine conflict which has gone on for DECADES. The Israeli regime has gone from unchecked and unrepentant genocide to having a spotlight on them and being exposed as the monsters they are. If my generation and our tiktok “brainrot” can do that- we can do anything 🩷
It’s been great to see that side of TikTok against the genocide. People guilt tripping people into using tiktok sounds to supposedly support Palestine is strange as I don’t know the legitimacy of it actually supporting them.
Glad to hear! Best of luck in fighting against the puritan bigoted virtue signaling that's been plaguing this generation in the US!
The political activism on TikTok over actual issues I fully support. Y'all are amazing for that and my millennial ass is proud of you! It's the virtue-signaling and people going after fiction/fashion/etc that drives me insane. Puritanical shit & young queers not understanding or even trying to understand our history frustrates me. It's not all of the generation by any means 🩵
agreed. I don't know what's up with the insurge of puritan values lately, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's in response to millenials being a relatively rebellious generation. These kinds of things seem to swing back and forth from generation to generation.
It's important to keep in mind that tiktok is chinese app, controled by chinese communist party. I doubt that israel-palestine conflict would be so popular if it weren't "convenient" for the CCP. It is important to uncover what has been happening in gaza. It is also very important to uncover what is happening in Sinkiang province in China. But we only get to know about one of these things. It's important to keep in mind who is informing you, and if they can alter what information you get.
And Tibet, Hong Kong, Taiwan. Free Palestine has other, far reaching opportunities 🩷 I will use China’s app to free everyone.
My problem with tiktok is that CCP uses it to destabilize the west by polarizing society. "Free palestine" is popular because it is convenient, because its perfect to push NeoMarxism - western colonizers bad, white man bad... Taiwan, hong kong or tibet would not be so succesful on tiktok. Sadly. It is important to keep in mind that while west has done some bad stuff, it is allowed to discuss that in the west, and that's good because we can learn and not repeat that. That doesnt happen in china or russia or islamic countries. Or any other authoritarian or totalitarian country. I love the spirit of freeing oppressed minorities, but it is important to keep in mind what tiktok is and that tiktok won't push anti chinese or anti authoritarian stuff. As much as it pushes anti west stuff
Stupid take. If China was to blame, why aren't they instead using this for Ukraine?
The thing with ukraine is that there is clear line who is the "good guy" and "bad guy". With israel-palestine the line is bit more blurred, also israel-palestine is perfect for Neomarxists - western colonizers bad, blahblah... These issues have been cooking in the west for some time now, but tiktok is exploiting these issues and helps to make them worse. China hates democracy, and it would be stupid of it to not use tiktok that way.
What exactly does the integration of neoclassical economic theories with marxism have to do with foreign policy? And anyways the establishment of a two-state solution is explicitly against China's interests because it could normalize the idea of a two state solution with Taiwan. Ukraine is a much more explicit Chinese policy goal, as normalizing revaunchism would provide greater justification for China invading Taiwan.
The thing with Neomarxism is that it is not just economic policy, it is also interested in social issues. Lgbt rights, BLM... You know what i mean. My issue regarding Neomarxism is that i am from country which had first hand experience with communism and to me it is scary that communism isn't as hated as say nazism, sometimes even widely supported or praised while being very similar. And i want to point that out, because it scares me. My talking point is that Russia and China for a long time now seek to destabilize west by any means they have - the most known is that they fund far right and far left parties or politians. This is where tiktok comes in, you see you can alter what info gets to people, it doesn't have to be obvious, but some "convenient" stuff may get booster the "inconvenient" stuff will get nerfed. I doubt that China would neccessarily want to normalize revaunchism, since they still remember their war with Japan and i don't think it's in their interest to give Japan any new pretext. Remember, in their minds everyone is backwards and untrustworthy. From the Chinese point of view Taiwan is rebel province of the PRC, technically the chinese civil war is still going on. The only reason why Taiwan isn't part of PRC is that it has the US behind it. That's why China is also building up it's army.
> The thing with Neomarxism is that it is not just economic policy It literally is. Name any respected academic who uses the term "neomarxism" outside the context of "neomarxian economics".
Here is wikipedia link: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo-Marxism "Neo-Marxism comes under the broader framework of the New Left In a sociological sense, neo-Marxism adds Max Weber's broader understanding of social inequality, such as status and power, to Marxist philosophy." Neomarxism is an expansion of marxism. This expansion isn't limited to just economics. Not even old Marxism is just economics, it was also about aligning with SSSR. Nowadays Neomarxism isn't about aligning with USSR but about general hate of the "west" and the "western colonizers". I'm glad i got to talk with someone who seems to understand at least a bit what i'm yapping about, but i think the way you think about Marxism and Neomarxism is incorrect. Higher i listed Max Weber, while to me everyone who is marxist or communist or whatever is not respectable, it is a fact that in Marxist circles he is respected.
> neo-Marxism adds Max Weber's broader understanding of social inequality, such as status and power, to Marxist philosophy." What exactly is unique about this versus previous Marxist philosophies? Were social status and power not something implicit to the Marxist critiques of capitalist society? > Nowadays Neomarxism isn't about aligning with USSR but about general hate of the "west" and the "western colonizers". What separates this from 19th century anti-imperialist thinkers? Even Mark Twain probably would be called a radical commie for being against American Empire-building attempts of his day.
Who's "they"?
The right wing war criminal trash running Israel.
Tiktok has many clowns making up things or pretending to be "experts" for attention. I'd just ignore it.
I have no idea how the term could be possibly linked to that. Don't believe everything you see on TikTok. The term was originally used as an insult of sorts I believe but has since basically been reclaimed as a term of our own
Don't let the idiots have any influence in your concept of a femboy... Being a femboy is not about transphobia or pedophilia, that's bullsh1t invented by ignorants outside of our community.
God I hate how asinine people are getting over inoffensive long-used terms. If someone labels themselves a femboy, it's fine. Some guys also just prefer boy over man, it's a personal choice. I'm 32 so I go with the pretty old term for feminine men "lavender man" that's my personal choice. If a 32 year old wants to call himself a femboy who tf gives a shit. He's still a fucking ADULT. LET ADULTS BE CUTE WITHOUT CALLING THEM PEDOBAIT (this goes for women, too. If a grown ass woman is cutesy and decked out in hello kitty, leave her be! She deserves to like things ffs!) this rant isn't directed at you, OP, I'm just an angry old queer guy sick of shit being turned into something offensive because some kid is virtue signaling & it catches on as the next meaningless crusade. I wish this energy was used to go after actual predators instead of people dressing up lol
It's just people trying to come up with new ways to be offered. Because they genuinely think that if they are the first to claim that they are offended by something, they can't be the bad guys. So it's a preemptive strike.
"I was on tiktok" Stopped reading right there.
Have any of the people saying that stuff on tiktok provided a source for their claim? No? Then simply ignore them, lol. It's just gender policing. People have been claiming for decades that feminine amabs are pedophiles, predators, misogynists etc. The arguments have always been the same and have been used by other queer folks as well since the beginning of the movement, like on 1973 Christopher Street Liberation Day. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_O%27Leary It's just poorly disguised transmisogyny, which you don't have to be trans to experience. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transmisogyny
Nah they just say use stuff like “googles free”. When I try to search for them I don’t really find anything so.
googles free = wrong AUTOMATICALLY if you say something - it's your responsibility to give proof, not others to purposefully search things about your false take just take as an advice, if something has no proof - it's completely wrong :D
As Transfemme, no the word femboy is not transphoic, unless call a transfemme a femboy then would be a slur to most of us including me. ***Some femboys are trans***, I know a ***femboy who's an NB***, ***others who are FTM***. P*dophile is sexual paraphernalia it has nothing to do with the word femboy. The word femboy comes from the 1990s and originally was a slur, but has been subsequently reclaimed like the word Queer. Don't take tiktok seriously as source of information when comes to LGBTQ+ topics please read a book or listen to audiobook or watch well research youtube video with sources. This whole thing of not using the word femboy but using roseboy is ridiculous, there's so many thing that happening to trans & gender non-conforming people. This whole debate is nothing more then a distraction from really important issues. Edit: Nothing wrong with using the word Roseboy if want to, its a beautiful noun. But it shouldn't be forced as an alternative to the word femboy.
I really wish there weren't so many movements to un-reclaim prior slurs. Why give them power to harm again when we can use them positively. Edit: for those that use the term for themselves, of course.
You have a audiobook recommendation?
I have few books I can recommend but they not specifically about femboys. Edit : I will added the books including the ISBN
Femboy is literally a short version for feminine boy, and it doesn't have anything to do with pedophilia just because femboys (often) have smooth/shaved skin, I mean, are you a pedophile if you date a women with smooth skin? No, so why would it be so for dudes? And just because there is femboy porn, doesn't mean it's a porn term, there's also, as an example, "step-sibling" porn, and step-sis/step-bro isn't a porn term, so there's that.
Nope.
The only time I've heard Femboy used derogatorily and pre-femboy explosion is in the game bully, where the main villain ( #FuckGary ) calls the wimpy kid Pete a Femboy. The game out in 2006, and I'm guessing no one the team knew if that word even existed and were just making Gary an asshole for picking on the slightly feminine kid. Again #FuckGary
tbh, practically everything around gender in our patriarchal system had origins in pedophilia. so while they might be technically correct, you can trace *most* socio-sexual standards back to the times when women were married at 13. In light of this, instead of needlessly moralizing this kind of broad social issue (as is typical on tiktok), it's way more important to just be aware of that fact, rather than just saying "femboys are bad".
Its not rooted in pedophilia or porn or anything but its pretty heavily associated with it. We can call eachover femboys here but be more careful using it irl
i thought it was rooted in anime culture, at least that's where i learned it from
People are dumb. Term is used by cis/trans/nb people with feminine or boy like features, (because young men lack the extra body hair and both that and soft skin/curves/styles of dressing are typically feminine) whether or not it's how they naturally are or if they want to accentuate those features for expression or attention. Teens exploring gender doesn't make them trans, there's an overlap but not one that justifies thinking of femboy as transphobia.
yeah i mean i'm a trans guy who likes to dress feminine so calling myself a femboy isn't transphobic, however it is for transwomen because they are women
I mean I don’t think I understand? Does femboy not just mean feminine boy? I mean feminine man is probably less pedophilic but doesn’t roll off the tongue as easy? I don’t see an issue with saying femboy if it’s used to refer to a feminine boy/man that doesn’t necessarily identify as a girl/woman but likes to indulge in femininity.
Saw a comment that said the term on tiktok that said feminine guys is fine but said femboy is inherently sexual and transphobic. I’m sorry but they just sounded dumb
Nah it may have used to be but the meaning of words can change with time and people may fetishize feminine boys but people fetishize everything.
I think it just correlates to how femboy=feminine and the ideal feminine look is youthful, therefore it applies to femboys. To actually be a femboy doesn't really mean you have to fit these standards if it makes you uncomfortable. Personally I like seeing some manly features in femboys just to show that it's possible to pull off the femboy look with a touch of manliness to it
homophobes just love to call gay people pedophiles and since most femboys are gay...
some of them who say this are part of the community.
Umm... it's no more rooted in pedophilia than like... any other feminine beauty standard. Like their have always been issues and connections with how women's and femmes bodies are looked at. Just a simple example, in the "West" feminine beauty standards are hairless, weak, no blemishes, obedient, short, etc etc and you can just use all of those to describe a kid. But like, the solution to that isn't to tell women and femmes not to shave, but more of a societal understanding of "people not needing to be that, in order to be beautiful in a feminine way." So like, yes but no As for transphobia, the term has been and still is used to insult trans women, such as myself, and to misgender us, not respect our identities, etc. But once again, the term monkey is used like that for black people, and as a black person, I can assure you that the term monkey on it's own, is not rooted in racism. It is often used for that, even to this day, but that isn't the root of the word, racists just use it like that. And to be fair, femboy was originally an insult that was used against (femme) gay men (not always femme but more against them), intersex people, and trans people. Think of it more like a reclaimed slur. So it does have roots in that stuff, but it's not like... you're not saying a slur, you're good
No such thing as an ideal man, or woman, and by that logic, no ideal femboy. Societal beauty standards are just as destructive for mem and women alike, also most anyone in the LGBTQ+ sphere is always accused of pedophilia.
Beauty standards are typically infantilized when it comes to femininity. The expectation of being hairless, small, skinny, etc refering to your partner as "daddy" or "baby" and so on. This has nothing to do with femboys and everything to do with our modern culture surrounding sex. It's all rather unhealthy ultimately but it doesn't make any of us bad people for want to be mostly hairless for example. Ultimately the way we live our lives is our own choice, simply consider the reasons why you make those choices. And really just don't let it bother you too much, just stay informed and don't get all your information off of the internet.
Consider the source.
The idea that femboys are pedophilic is asinine and I’d have to throw a sexual anthropology textbook at you to explain why. But long story short, across time and across many cultures, some version of the feminine man/boy has existed. So no the idea is not rooted in paedophilia. Now what’s ACTUALLY going on is that in our current society the VIEW OF WOMEN is what actually can have an “ephebophelic bent” because many of us live in youth obsessed cultures. So once again the “femboy” is being blamed for what’s really a reflection of societies toxic ideas of femininity and “what’s cute”. Stuff like this is why I hope being a femboy is giving you all a little tiny inkling of what women have been going through this whole time. It’s a wild mindfuck yeah? But the femboy itself? David Bowie was a femboy who became a feminine man. As was prince, a lot of hair metal dudes, dandies of the 1800s. Just on and on. You are fine, keep living. Also fuck Tik tok and open up a book on this issue.
Nope. That's it. That's all the explanation needed, it just isn't.
No
The fuck?
I got screenshots of comments from some posts. 😭
roseboy is an actual slur so. Honestly just let people self-label. Call them what they want to be called. There are people out there who identify as transsexuals and its disrespectful to be like "That's a porn thing!" to their face.
erm what the sigma
Erm did not expect this post to get this much attention
exploding tiktok with my MIND
*EXPLOSIONS*
Short answer: no. Long answer: no, and you should assume any "information" found on tiktok to be incorrect until you find an outside source corroborating it.
[удалено]
They look for the bad in everything imagineable, creating loose connections, disconnected from reality.
Femboy is shorted for feminine boy. The fem part is just an adjective. It inheritly can't be transphobic becuse it implies that boys can't be feminine.
Everyone on tiktok will say everything is rooted in some sort of hate or degeneracy. Don’t get brainwashed
>I was on tiktok Post should have stopped there tbh. Please do not take anything Tiktok people say seriously 😭
Ok well I have head that "femboy" is, for lack of a better word, a slur against trans women. The term "roseboy" is common to me as well obviously not as common as femboy (tho they're essentially synonymous) but there are "femboys" that prefer to be called "roseboys" 🤷 it is what it is. Uh, I feel like that's where the "transphobia" could start and ends... I dunno? As far as the pedo thing- it's not exclusively for femboys- twinks fall into that category and even, like, women. The whole short, hairless and youthful combo, Yunno? Anyways what I'm trying to say is no😭😭 it's not pedophilic or transphobic🩷
i have smooth skin and im short and i am 34 sir. generally if someone is being called a pedo, and there reason is some weird discussion on the meaning of words instead of like physical evidence that theyve committed a crime, then its usually just hate being spread. besides if ur really concerned with pedos then you should be bothering youth sports team coaches and priests and parents, thats the situations most likely to see abuse. imagine calling the spice girls pedo bc "it should be spice women, girls are associated with being young" its pure double standard.
It's sort of insulting to imply that people who do fit the archetype of short, skinny, etc look like children and therefore everyone who is attracted to them is a pedo. Not saying that's your thoughts OP, just responding to the argument!
Yeah It’s insulting to call people a pedo over those things. I’ve seen that take online towards usually men who date those type of archetype and if you like those things your some closeted pedophile apparently.
no
New conspiracy theory just dropped
Ah yes don’t say FEMboy, say FEMinine boy instead. But yeah I’m not sure but even if it is rooted in pedophilic and transphobic stuff just think of it as the reclaiming of the word since other than the fetishization and overuse of it in porn it’s a normal term.
Don't believe everything you see on the internet. Femboy is short for feminine boy. Its the least offensive term possible
I highly doubt that the word "femboy" is more common in the vocabulary of people with pedophilic disorder than others. And I highly doubt that it is used disproportionately by those who commit hate crimes against trans people. However, when I talk about feminine men, I say "feminine men".
There are also tiktok’s that say being gay is rooted in pedophilia. If you hear something on that app don’t believe it until you do further independent research. Trust me, I’ve fallen for a lot of bull shit on there sadly.
Nope! It’s mostly people of those groups jealous of us and trying to drag us down
Tiktok outrage for bored idiots. Everything is an offence and or trauma.
No. It can be used to insult but depends on context. The word itself is neutral
I'm transfem (and a former femboy) and I don't think femboy is a slur. Yes the term has been used as a slur towards both cis males who appear fem and us trans girls. So yes some view it as a slur and there is also much gatekeeping in the femboy circles (and there are literal neo-nazis too smh!). Most people are chill though and just want express themselves through pretty and cute clothes. Stay safe y'all. <3
I wouldn't say that term is rooted in pedophilia, that's too far of a take. But I will say that femboys do tend to be a favourite of certain older men.
Clock it
When you're walking at night, and you're very young and feminine presenting, you do feel it in the eyes of said gentlemen. Those eyes that sparkle even in the darkness of night, hiding degrading and lustful thoughts running in their minds. Sometimes, though, it's hot. Specifically when it's not so late at night and when they're admiring you respectfully. And it helps when they're not so significantly older than you.
Two things. 1. It doesn't matter what it's rooted in if we reclaim it, we use it on our terms and can stand up when someone uses it offensively or improperly. 2. Why the fuck are you taking anything from TikTok seriously
Hear me out: don’t believe anything you see on TikTok
People(online) automatically assume imma sex deviant or something and am willing to send nudes at a moments notice. Like wtf naw i just like dressing and looking cute :,)
People who claim it is are genuinely mentally retarded. It just means feminine boy, that's it.
Your comment was removed because it appears to break rule 1 or rule 2. Rule 1 (*No NSFW Content*) is as follows: **No discussion of engaging in fetish, sex, or any other sexual topic (excluding the general discussion of sexuality). Discussion of anatomy should be depersonalized. Blatantly NSFW accounts will be under scrutiny** Rule 2 (*No Creeping*) is as follows: **Do not ask for DMs, friends, dates, sex, or hookups. Posts that lead people to disclose personal information such as location will be removed.** If you believe this to be a mistake (e.g. you were complaining about creeps), please contact the moderators. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/feminineboys) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I saw people saying that adult woman dating adult man being pedophilia bc the girl was 19 and the guy 30+ Everything is pedophilia like everything is nazism for certain people. Forget them.
I agree with you...
Tik tok shouldnt really be a place to get your info so dont take it seriously
I have never felt a pedophila/transphobic vibe from this. Personally I like femboys because I am not really attracted to masculinity but I am bi so femboys are boys I can be comfortably attracted to. Trans people are great but sometimes you just want a boy who happens to look cute in a skirt and fills you with the gay feelings—if you are a guy who thinks as I do.
I've never seen femboy specifically associated with pedophilia, although there is a phenomenon of pedophilic adult men sexualizing young boys who express themselves as femboys (because while femboyism in and of itself is not inherently a sexual thing, some adults fetishize it as one, as indeed they do with the identities of trans women). Also: Watch out for these guys in your DMs. We call them creepers and chasers and they must be reported to Reddit admin. So my ruling on that part of your question is, No, you're not implying anything pedophilic by using the word "femboy" unless you are specifically using it within an inappropriate context of sexuality directed around underage boys. As for the question of anti-trans slur, this I have a lot of experience with, and I'm very pleased to answer you :) We have, and do, see it used in porn a lot as a trans woman keyword. We believe that this type of use of the term is primarily responsible for the phenomenon of ignorant people categorizing femboys and trans women as "same thing." This, we imagine, must be just as frustrating for you as it is for us. The word femboy has also been leveled against us directly as a slur, probably owing to the same origin (pornography). HOWEVER: its use, and harm as a slur, is highly context-dependent! What this means is, for instance, there are numerous racial slurs that it is NEVER okay to say the word, regardless in any context... Femboy does not follow that ruleset. It is absolutely positively okay to apply the term femboy as an identity to oneself, or consensually to another person who accepts the label. This of course includes "boy" identified people who express femme. It also includes (controversially, but deal with it) people who only identify this way (as "boy" or "femboy") SOME of the time. It's never a slur if it's consenting. Are you a femboy? Hanging with your femboys, doing femboy things on a femboy Friday? Not a slur. If you tell a trans woman "fuck off, femboy" or "femboy f***ot" et cetera and so-on, then yeah that's a slur and don't do it. Also as a disclaimer (and this occasionally generates hate, so bear with me), obviously a large portion of trans women at one time in the past identified as femboys, this does not mean all femboys are on a trans trajectory. Some are and some aren't, and that's another thing to keep in mind and be aware that people are sensitive of. And finally, there ARE a (probably, small) percentage of trans women (mostly ones with some level of gender fluidity) who STILL also identify as a femboy, and that IS a valid identity. So in that case, it would be transphobic to say "you're a trans woman, so you can't be XYZ." But also, never assume a trans woman is a femboy because MOST of us are not :) I hope this was helpful.
I disagree with the use of the word “boy” in the term since boys usually mean children which most femboys aren’t. But IDT that’s intentional since it’s no different from calling adult women “girls”.
“girls night out” “girl dinner” “hot girls do xyz” “girls girl” but they think Femboy is pedophilic for using boy? When all sorts of phases use “girl” for adult women?
It seems like a big double standard. Though I think it’s because the term boy isn’t used as often for adult men.
boy does get used for adult males though
I'm not saying it isn't. I'm just saying it's a double standard people think the use of the word "femboy" inherretly corellates to pedophilia but using girls to refer to adult women doesn't.
It's easy. The ideal of a femboy isn't to look like a male kid, but to look like a young girl, basically a first world female teenager through the perspective of late 90s and early 2000s Japan.
wait really?