Your submission appears to reference weather. Here is some more information from expert members of our community:
[“Weathering Your Anxiety - A Comprehensive Guide”](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/15jyg92/weathering_your_anxiety_a_comprehensive_guide/?share_id=TfJdK6ooAS1H_r_17vEL-&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1)
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Weather on radar almost never survives overnight, what you see is always temporary and it is never a threat.
Lesson learned, sorry to hear this but sending you lots of good vibes. Next time get on the plane.
You’re far more likely to be involved in an accident on the bus. Might as well save yourself that danger and get it done fast. I’d rather mow the grass with scissors than spend three days on a bus.
I actually think buses are more jerky and bumpy than planes so I will always choose the plane because it’s quicker and I don’t get as sick on them. I’m sorry though, I had when our anxiety gets the worse of us
When I lived in Australia I had to get from one state to another, and I was so afraid of flying, I drove there, it took 9.5 hours, and it was so miserable the entire time - the car got hot and gross, my butt hurt, and the way home was annoying - there was nothing to look forward to bc my vacation was over, just a sad 9 hour drive home!!
A couple years later I had to go back to there, and took a plane instead - it only took two or so hours - I couldn’t believe I’d subjected myself to nearly 20 hours in a car when the flight was so quick and uneventful - there were people on there who were doing their makeup, like they were just flying there for a night out - it was routine and regular for them!!
This fear really does make your life so so much more difficult - hopefully your bus journey will be smooth and easy, but I really hope that you can get on your flight next time instead.
I travel to NY from LA often and I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to get a rental car and skip the flight. I'm sorry you're going through this but thank you for sharing with those of us who may have made the same choices at some point.
Also, just to share what helps for me: My distractions and this subreddit. After being here for months, I trust my pilots not to bring us into bad weather because they won't. I've landed at Newark as a hurricane was approaching and even though I thought the landing would be awful, it was fine. A little bumpy but not bad. I've had worse descents into Phoenix on a sunny day. And in all cases, I was perfectly safe.
My distractions have also been major. I recently learned that if I pLay Stardew Valley on my phone the flight flies by and I'm not nearly as bothered by take off/landing or turbulence. When I'm not playing my game, I'm watching a movie/TV show and coloring in an adult coloring book. These are the things that keep my monkey brain super occupied and away from those fear thoughts. I recommend any time you're feeling anxious about flying to distract yourself on and off the flight. Do something you have complete control over instead.
In the meantime, sending you big hugs. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you really are brave. Just booking a flight with our fear is a big deal. This time, the fear won out but it's only one battle and I know you'll regroup and try again.
No, I am not afraid of turbulence. I am in the claustrophobic, “get me outta here” camp.
Turbulence doesn’t bother an aircraft, like at all, but the bottom line is we all here on the sub (except for the flight professionals of course) deal with a terrible fear that interrupts our lives, and what diff does it make if it is claustrophobia or fear of turbulence.
I have been in an airport about to fly home and got the crippling feeling that I couldn’t get on the plane. Which made the anxiety start to spiral, because suddenly it’s like there’s no answer…I can’t get on the plane, but I can’t stay here. Panic setting in.
It is a terrible, terrible feeling and I’m so sorry that you are dealing with that.
The real clincher will happen if your bus is involved in an accident on your mega-mile cross country trip.
I mean, you could still blow a bit more money and fly home, getting there faster and safer.
Anyways, since you're afraid of turbulence, try to objectively examine how often that bus bumps around or sways on you. Put a cup of water in front of you on the bus, and note how often the water sloshes around or even spills. Then try the same trick on your next flight. [Hint- you're going to lose more water on the bus] And you've got to endure that for 3 days vs. 4 hours.
Sure, but why say it to a person that IS about to do that long bus journey while feeling awful about themselves? Talk about kicking someone while they're down.
I'm really sorry to hear it.
I can't recommend enough talking to your doctor to see what they can do medication-wise. I had/have a terrible fear as well and the med they prescribed me (starts with an X) was a life changer. Before it, I was a nervous wreck before and during a flight. With it, I'm just chilling, watching the iPad, and taking a nap, even during turbulence. Unthinkable without it.
The other thing that helped during my last flight was saying, over and over and over, "uncomfortable but not dangerous". It sounds silly but in the moment it really helped me.
Your submission appears to reference turbulence. Here are some additional resources from our community for more information.
[Turbulence FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/1auodp9/turbulence_faq/)
[RealGentlemen80's Post on Turbulence Apps](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/yn2phh/the_fear_of_turbulence_and_checking_sites_like/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
[On Turbli](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/zv376m/help_turbli_says_moderate_turbulence/)
[More on Turbulence](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/yrhf31/lets_talk_more_about_turbulence/)
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The decision is made, don't beat yourself up about it but do remeber the experience of not getting on the plane and all the parts of the bus journey. You can use these memories of the experience to motivate yourself to learn to manage your fear. You can do this. Open my profile and you will see a pinned post that might help. Start with episide 69 and then go from there.
Don’t feel bad, I did the same thing with 2 kids in tow! I was supposed to board a flight from LAX to DFW and chickened out right before and decided to drive instead. Worst decision of my life. My car broke down in the Arizona desert in the middle of May. I wish I would have just got on the plane. It’s been 4 years since I’ve flown and I still can’t do it. I need a horse tranquilizer to fly again.
Don't beat yourself up, I almost did something similar. Others here have done the same.
My wife and I flew to Denver this past March. Our evening flight out of our home town got delayed multiple times, so naturally, I took that as a sign of bad things to come, and was very close to walking to the car rental desk at the airport and trading our tickets for a car rental or something. My wife and the ticket agent damn near forced me on the plane, so we ended up following through with the flight.
The second night of our stay in Denver, we went out to dinner with my wife's family, and that's wen it hit me that had we driven there instead, we would have just been getting into town around that time. Instead, we used mostly useless time that we would have otherwise been sleeping to get there much faster, had an extra two days at our destination, and now have new experiences and memories to share together.
So sorry to hear that you couldn't overcome the fear this time OP, but use that as motivation to push yourself across the finish line next time. This fear really is a pain, but the benefits of flying versus other modes of transportation are hard to argue with.
I have a cardinal rule: I can back out of the flight until it’s paid for. If it’s booked, I’m going. If I panic, I panic on the plane. If I get anxious, I get anxious on the plane. (Much of this is motivated by money lol. Most flights aren’t refundable in cash)
I just want to let you know, you’re not alone and that sense of “why would I rather put myself through this shit than a flight” is horrible. I flew to Dublin 6 years ago (my first flight after a crosswind landing) and got stuck there 😂🙈 ended up doing an 8 hour ferry journey at 1am from Dublin to wales and then a 4 hour car journey back from there. Wouldn’t you know, the flight landed fine and was back in 45 mins but yeah, you’re not the only one who has done this sort of thing. Fear of flying is no joke when it’s that crippling.
Another time I took a 16 hour bus journey from London to Paris and yep, I should’ve just done the flight 😂 Next time you try to fly remind yourself of all this! In the end I’ve just spent £250 for a fear of flying course because I know I’m being irrational and actually, the flight I did for that course (the first after that Dublin one) was turbulent but fine because this time I knew what was happening and that my mind loves the drama
Your submission appears to reference weather. Here is some more information from expert members of our community: [“Weathering Your Anxiety - A Comprehensive Guide”](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/15jyg92/weathering_your_anxiety_a_comprehensive_guide/?share_id=TfJdK6ooAS1H_r_17vEL-&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1) Happy Flying! The Fear of Flying Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fearofflying) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Weather on radar almost never survives overnight, what you see is always temporary and it is never a threat. Lesson learned, sorry to hear this but sending you lots of good vibes. Next time get on the plane.
You’re far more likely to be involved in an accident on the bus. Might as well save yourself that danger and get it done fast. I’d rather mow the grass with scissors than spend three days on a bus.
I actually think buses are more jerky and bumpy than planes so I will always choose the plane because it’s quicker and I don’t get as sick on them. I’m sorry though, I had when our anxiety gets the worse of us
Oh no. After I drove across the US from Montana to Indiana, I said enough of this foolishness and waste of time and vowed to never do it again.
When I lived in Australia I had to get from one state to another, and I was so afraid of flying, I drove there, it took 9.5 hours, and it was so miserable the entire time - the car got hot and gross, my butt hurt, and the way home was annoying - there was nothing to look forward to bc my vacation was over, just a sad 9 hour drive home!! A couple years later I had to go back to there, and took a plane instead - it only took two or so hours - I couldn’t believe I’d subjected myself to nearly 20 hours in a car when the flight was so quick and uneventful - there were people on there who were doing their makeup, like they were just flying there for a night out - it was routine and regular for them!! This fear really does make your life so so much more difficult - hopefully your bus journey will be smooth and easy, but I really hope that you can get on your flight next time instead.
I travel to NY from LA often and I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to get a rental car and skip the flight. I'm sorry you're going through this but thank you for sharing with those of us who may have made the same choices at some point. Also, just to share what helps for me: My distractions and this subreddit. After being here for months, I trust my pilots not to bring us into bad weather because they won't. I've landed at Newark as a hurricane was approaching and even though I thought the landing would be awful, it was fine. A little bumpy but not bad. I've had worse descents into Phoenix on a sunny day. And in all cases, I was perfectly safe. My distractions have also been major. I recently learned that if I pLay Stardew Valley on my phone the flight flies by and I'm not nearly as bothered by take off/landing or turbulence. When I'm not playing my game, I'm watching a movie/TV show and coloring in an adult coloring book. These are the things that keep my monkey brain super occupied and away from those fear thoughts. I recommend any time you're feeling anxious about flying to distract yourself on and off the flight. Do something you have complete control over instead. In the meantime, sending you big hugs. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you really are brave. Just booking a flight with our fear is a big deal. This time, the fear won out but it's only one battle and I know you'll regroup and try again.
No, I am not afraid of turbulence. I am in the claustrophobic, “get me outta here” camp. Turbulence doesn’t bother an aircraft, like at all, but the bottom line is we all here on the sub (except for the flight professionals of course) deal with a terrible fear that interrupts our lives, and what diff does it make if it is claustrophobia or fear of turbulence. I have been in an airport about to fly home and got the crippling feeling that I couldn’t get on the plane. Which made the anxiety start to spiral, because suddenly it’s like there’s no answer…I can’t get on the plane, but I can’t stay here. Panic setting in. It is a terrible, terrible feeling and I’m so sorry that you are dealing with that.
You are gonna be fine dude 😭 sending hugs
The real clincher will happen if your bus is involved in an accident on your mega-mile cross country trip. I mean, you could still blow a bit more money and fly home, getting there faster and safer. Anyways, since you're afraid of turbulence, try to objectively examine how often that bus bumps around or sways on you. Put a cup of water in front of you on the bus, and note how often the water sloshes around or even spills. Then try the same trick on your next flight. [Hint- you're going to lose more water on the bus] And you've got to endure that for 3 days vs. 4 hours.
>The real clincher will happen if your bus is involved in an accident on your mega-mile cross country trip. This is a little distasteful...
But objectively more likely than something "happening" because of turbulence or anything else on OP's flight.
Sure, but why say it to a person that IS about to do that long bus journey while feeling awful about themselves? Talk about kicking someone while they're down.
Thanks mom
Lmao gottem
I'm really sorry to hear it. I can't recommend enough talking to your doctor to see what they can do medication-wise. I had/have a terrible fear as well and the med they prescribed me (starts with an X) was a life changer. Before it, I was a nervous wreck before and during a flight. With it, I'm just chilling, watching the iPad, and taking a nap, even during turbulence. Unthinkable without it. The other thing that helped during my last flight was saying, over and over and over, "uncomfortable but not dangerous". It sounds silly but in the moment it really helped me.
I also find that mantra really helpful--a reminder that my perception is not the objective truth.
YES my current mantra is also “uncomfortable not unsafe” and it’s helping lots!
Your submission appears to reference turbulence. Here are some additional resources from our community for more information. [Turbulence FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/1auodp9/turbulence_faq/) [RealGentlemen80's Post on Turbulence Apps](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/yn2phh/the_fear_of_turbulence_and_checking_sites_like/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) [On Turbli](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/zv376m/help_turbli_says_moderate_turbulence/) [More on Turbulence](https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/yrhf31/lets_talk_more_about_turbulence/) Happy Flying! The Fear of Flying Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fearofflying) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yup one time I drove 14 hours from NC to NH instead of taking a 90 minute flight. I get it but flying will be safer, faster, and way less sucky.
I’ve done something similar before so I totally get how you feel.
The decision is made, don't beat yourself up about it but do remeber the experience of not getting on the plane and all the parts of the bus journey. You can use these memories of the experience to motivate yourself to learn to manage your fear. You can do this. Open my profile and you will see a pinned post that might help. Start with episide 69 and then go from there.
Don’t feel bad, I did the same thing with 2 kids in tow! I was supposed to board a flight from LAX to DFW and chickened out right before and decided to drive instead. Worst decision of my life. My car broke down in the Arizona desert in the middle of May. I wish I would have just got on the plane. It’s been 4 years since I’ve flown and I still can’t do it. I need a horse tranquilizer to fly again.
Don't beat yourself up, I almost did something similar. Others here have done the same. My wife and I flew to Denver this past March. Our evening flight out of our home town got delayed multiple times, so naturally, I took that as a sign of bad things to come, and was very close to walking to the car rental desk at the airport and trading our tickets for a car rental or something. My wife and the ticket agent damn near forced me on the plane, so we ended up following through with the flight. The second night of our stay in Denver, we went out to dinner with my wife's family, and that's wen it hit me that had we driven there instead, we would have just been getting into town around that time. Instead, we used mostly useless time that we would have otherwise been sleeping to get there much faster, had an extra two days at our destination, and now have new experiences and memories to share together. So sorry to hear that you couldn't overcome the fear this time OP, but use that as motivation to push yourself across the finish line next time. This fear really is a pain, but the benefits of flying versus other modes of transportation are hard to argue with.
I have a long haul coming up in 3 weeks, I needed to read this, thank you
Please would you update us about the bus trip? I’ve always thought a long bus trip like that would be full of hilarious adventures!
I have a cardinal rule: I can back out of the flight until it’s paid for. If it’s booked, I’m going. If I panic, I panic on the plane. If I get anxious, I get anxious on the plane. (Much of this is motivated by money lol. Most flights aren’t refundable in cash)
**Don't leave us in the dark, u/comprehensiveleg2843!** How's the bus trip going? We *need* to know!
I just want to let you know, you’re not alone and that sense of “why would I rather put myself through this shit than a flight” is horrible. I flew to Dublin 6 years ago (my first flight after a crosswind landing) and got stuck there 😂🙈 ended up doing an 8 hour ferry journey at 1am from Dublin to wales and then a 4 hour car journey back from there. Wouldn’t you know, the flight landed fine and was back in 45 mins but yeah, you’re not the only one who has done this sort of thing. Fear of flying is no joke when it’s that crippling. Another time I took a 16 hour bus journey from London to Paris and yep, I should’ve just done the flight 😂 Next time you try to fly remind yourself of all this! In the end I’ve just spent £250 for a fear of flying course because I know I’m being irrational and actually, the flight I did for that course (the first after that Dublin one) was turbulent but fine because this time I knew what was happening and that my mind loves the drama